Pre-Show[]
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role or I guess whenever this night came out, this night's episode of Critical Role. (laughter) Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. (cheering) Specifically tonight, we're doing one of our Kickstarter one-shots that was unlocked that was a continuation of our Search for Grog one-shot. We got to the point of the adventure in which Grog was saved.
TRAVIS: Found me!
MATT: The spirit was returned to the body, but they still are amongst the chaos of Pandemonium. So as part of this unlock within the stretch goals of the Kickstarter campaign, we now get to do the other half of this storyline that we didn't expect to do, which is awesome. For tonight, if you haven't noticed, we're all dressed very comfy. We have decided, as of recent conversations, to go ahead to have a classic night where we all dress up like we used to have our Sunday morning brunch games and be in pajamas and have mimosas and snacks.
MARISHA: Cheers to Sunday brunch.
MATT: Cheers, indeed.
SAM: This may come out on a Sunday. We don't know.
MATT: Could be, could be. There you go.
LAURA and MATT: Love you guys.
TRAVIS: Not wearing anything under this table.
LAURA, LIAM, and MATT: Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.
MATT: Take a nice battle cam view of our fantastic spread of snacks here that Ashley and Laura and other folks all put together for this.
SAM: Healthy, too. (laughter)
LIAM: Give me that cheese.
ASHLEY: Get in it. It's good.
MATT: But yes, so prepare yourself for some light snacking as we go through because this is also our call back to the olden days at our newer table.
LAURA: Chomp chomp chomp chomp.
MATT: That being the case, let's go ahead and jump into today-- tonight's episode, whenever this is happening-- this episode of Critical Role.
OFF-SCREEN: (sings Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song")
Part I[]
MATT: Last we left off, the party known as Vox Machina, upon saving Exandria by and large from the incursion of Vecna, Thar Amphala, and the Shadowfell-based minions of his that had brought him to ascend as a god, you sealed him away and, however, in the process, closed the chapter on your friend, Vax'ildan. Upon returning home to Whitestone, Grog pulled a card from the Deck of Many Things, pulled the worst card from the deck, and had his soul jettisoned off into a random plane.
TRAVIS: That's a matter of opinion.
MATT: Yeah, his body left lifeless. The last game you had discovered his soulless body, took it to Vasselheim and asked the council there for some help in trying to ascertain the location of his spirit, wherever it may be. Discovering that it was in the Plane of Pandemonium, the windswept realm of madness, you gathered yourself a couple of allies in Sir Bertrand Bell, a seasoned adventurer who had volunteered his services as a guide who had been to Pandemonium before supposedly, but had never been to Pandemonium and Lieve'tel--
LIAM: A real nice lady.
MATT: A really nice lady of the Raven Queen, who as part of paying penance for the loss of Vax'ildan had offered herself to volunteer to aid them on this mission. You guys rounded up the last bit of things you needed, said goodbye to a few friends about the city and then made your journey to Pandemonium. Immediately blasted by the incredible winds and the lightless expanse that was around you in the interior, you shouted commands as you made your way across the dangerous landscape, ran into a strange individual who seemed to be of Gith lineage who couldn't remember their name and asked some curious questions before vanishing into the dust storm around you. You continued on forward after having visions of where this stone, this ruby-like gem that contained Grog's soul, was embedded at the top of this spire that existed somewhere on this plane. You made your way to Howler's Crag, the base of this mountain tower. You battled howlers that had stalked and hunted you on your way there. You made your way through the tunnels and caves that wound up the interior of this giant structure. A bunch of bugbears came out of nowhere and tore off Percy's arm. It's crazy.
SAM: It was crazy.
LAURA: It was your other one, darling.
TALIESIN: Oh, that's right.
MATT: Then regenerated. There's now a third Percy arm that's just disembodied and flapping around. Awkward. Very D&D. You then also stealthily bypassed a distracted demon entity known as a balor that seemed to be in the process of painting bloody pictures on a wall. You carefully pushed by the tight space, many of you burned heavily, escaping the other side and climbing to the top of the tower where, awaiting you, guarding this gem as part of the enchantment or just the general proximity of Pandemonium or a combination of the two, a corrupted empyrean, an entity of celestial origin, a half-child of the gods, screaming mad into the winds above, bound somehow to this tower, its history lost and its mind every bit as scattered. You climbed the outside of this tower, did battle with it. It smashed and angrily dashed each of you nearly from the tower multiple times, sending Bertrand Bell, clinging to life. Did actually smash and kill Lieve'tel, who now lies lifeless. In the midst of this intense throw down, Trinket, gritting his bare teeth with the unconscious, soulless body of Grog affixed to his back by chains, climbed the edge of the mountain, rushed toward the stone and upon meeting Grog's body to the stone, Grog was brought back to consciousness, the spirit instilling him with that angry barbarian power from within and through some absurd fucking luck rolled two natural 20s in a row and dealt the final blow to the creature, axe sinking into its corrupted celestial body, tearing it asunder and that was where we ended.
SAM: Because of parking restrictions.
MATT: Because of parking restrictions. That is correct.
(laughter)
TRAVIS: We don't want to get locked in. We got to go.
MATT: Yep!
LIAM: The real world creeps in sometimes.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Sometimes. So. We begin. You, Vox Machina and allies, dead and alive.
LIAM: Well, you know, take a penny, leave a penny.
MATT: Yeah there. (laughs) You are stranded within the Plane of Pandemonium, your premium spell components apparently stolen, leaving you adrift in a lightless realm of madness. The ruined body of the massive corrupt celestial being lies crumbling atop the spire of Howler's Crag, the wind whipping around the remnants of the battlefield. Dust and rocks sting your flesh as you stand looking out into the darkness around you here atop the peak. Grog stands enlarged and breathing heavily, his eyes filled with the rage and joy, clutching his axe atop the body of the empyrean, its blackened flesh slowly burning away into ash. The rest of you stand around the broken rock, battered lifeless body of Lieve'tel also broken among the ruin. Vox Machina, what would you like to do?
ASHLEY: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
TRAVIS: (excited breathing) Did you see that shit?!
ASHLEY: Yeah, that was amazing!
TRAVIS: By the way quick point, safety tip, I think the Deck of Many Things may be dangerous.
SAM: No.
TALIESIN and ASHLEY: Really?
LAURA: Do you know where you are right now? Do you know where we are right now?
TRAVIS: In a castle.
LAURA: No. We're literally not anywhere near it. We're on top. It's very windy.
TRAVIS: Mm-hmm, yeah, terrible weather we're having.
LAURA: (sighs)
SAM: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Perhaps some shelter and perhaps a moment to take care of this problem?
MATT: Could you roll a death saving throw for me?
TRAVIS: Yeah for the--
SAM: Death saving throw?
MATT: For Bertrand Bell, who's still unconscious.
SAM: Is he dead?
LIAM: He's making death saves.
LAURA: And she's dead dead.
TRAVIS: Success.
LIAM: Dead dead.
MARISHA: I drop my form, my pit fiend form. That's what I was, right? What was I?
MATT: You were a goristro.
MARISHA: A goristro. Foom!
LAURA: Oh, hi.
MARISHA: That went great!
SAM: We have Grog back, but our two new friends are fallen and one seems to be-- her head is just crushed beyond repair.
MATT: Roll again.
TRAVIS: Oh, second death saving throw. That's a one.
MATT: That's two failures.
LIAM: Every six seconds.
SAM: Triage, triage to someone. Pikey! Pike! Heal him!
MATT: Those are you first two fails?
TRAVIS: Two fails, one success.
MATT: All right.
TRAVIS: What do you mean new friends? Who are these fuckers?
MARISHA: I Healing Word Bertrand.
MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll for it.
LAURA: Scanlan, can you make the mansion?
SAM: Sure, but I hardly think that will--
MARISHA: Six.
TRAVIS: Six points?
MARISHA: No wait, six plus I get to add something, right?
MATT: Add your wisdom modifier.
MARISHA: Oh, okay, 14.
TRAVIS: 14, may I take--
MARISHA: No, 12, 12, 12.
TRAVIS: May I take 12 points of healing?
MATT: You can take 12 points of healing for Bertrand. You are now conscious again.
SAM: What do you mean?
LIAM: I want my Player's Handbook!
SAM: Oh sure.
LIAM: Give it to me!
SAM: But you're dead.
LIAM: But I am a D&D player.
(laughter)
TALIESIN: I've heard Scrappy Doo in every D&D game.
SAM: Oh Mr. Bell! Mr. Bell is alive and awake.
TRAVIS: Oh, did we kill it? We killed it, right?
LAURA: We killed it.
ASHLEY: We did. It's dead.
TRAVIS: I hurt so much. I hurt so much.
SAM: You were very brave. You actually were very brave.
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Thank you. Oh my god, who is that? (as Grog) Who is that small fighter? (as Bertrand) You are so handsome and huge. (as Grog) My god, you are so old. Look at his hair. Who is this fucking twerp?
SAM: I think he can answer for himself.
(laughter)
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) It is a pleasure, a pleasure to meet you. You are the one that we were clearly coming to rescue. He's enormous.
ASHLEY: Yeah, he's big.
TRAVIS: He's really large. Oh hmm, is the danger passed?
TALIESIN: Well!
LAURA: Mostly.
TRAVIS: Somewhat.
SAM: We're still in a realm of constant evil and surrounded by demons.
ASHLEY: Still in Pandemonium, yes.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) What? Where? What do you mean, "demons?" What did you say? Andemonium?
TALIESIN: This is what you did to us.
LAURA: This is what you did to us.
TRAVIS: What do you mean, "did to us?" I pulled the card. I wake up and you guys took me somewhere while I was asleep.
ASHLEY: You came here, you fell asleep, you wouldn't wake up, and then we had to come here and we had to get you.
LAURA: After you promised not to draw any cards.
TRAVIS: Hold on just a second. Now Pike, clearly I'm a sleepwalker, but I don't think I could walk here in my sleep.
MARISHA: Well, technically your soul got like ripped from your body and attached here.
TRAVIS: How?
LAURA: Trinket had to carry your lifeless form all the way.
MATT: (grunts) Trinket comes up and head butts you.
TRAVIS: Hi buddy.
MATT: (growls)
TRAVIS: Is it my birthday? Is this like a surprise party?
MARISHA: No, I was actually hoping that Pandemonium would be much cuter because I initially thought pandas because Panda-monium, but it's, um.
TALIESIN: I'm irritated that I can see where you're going with that.
TRAVIS: You all look a little worse for the wear.
SAM: I think-- guys, I think that Grog is mentally incapable of understanding what just happened.
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) I was wondering if that's normal for him. He seems like a real idiot.
SAM: Maybe it's better if we just don't try. Let's just move on.
TALIESIN: We'll attempt it once we're somewhere where we have props.
SAM: That's right.
MATT: Perception check, Percival.
TALIESIN: Yes! Oh, that's so sad to look at after--
SAM: Perhaps we could illustrate it for him with shadow puppets.
TALIESIN: 13.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) I would like that very much.
MATT: Within the short radius of light that you do have, you just see sand and wind. You are standing still upon the peak of Howler's Crag, which--
TALIESIN: I'm feeling a bit exposed, to be honest.
SAM: All right.
TALIESIN: Can we get--
SAM: Should I put up the mansion or should we try to get out of here?
LAURA: We have to drag this dead form all the way?
ASHLEY: I'll get her. I'm going to over and try to pick her up.
MARISHA: Careful, her head might collapse if you move it.
SAM: Yeah, it's barely together.
MARISHA: Yeah. Maybe you should like tape it, wrap it.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I can try to--
TRAVIS: What's her head look like?
TALIESIN: Put her in the Bag of Colding, for god's sakes.
SAM: At least her head.
LIAM: I like that, without dice rolls, a bugbear's ripped off Percy's arm and we grew a little tiny sea anemone hand.
TALIESIN: That was a lot of spells.
LAURA: And that was not his head.
SAM: All right, I will cast the Magnificent Mansion so that we can get some peace.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
SAM: ♪ Waaaa! ♪
MATT: The glowing purple doorway opens up. You can see it flickering a bit just from the brief moment of distant interference from having to reach across the planes to open this doorway. But it opens up plainly without issue.
SAM: All right, everyone get in.
LAURA: I'll hold her head together.
TALIESIN: Let's get all of her in here, see if we can do something about this.
TRAVIS: Did you guys do that to her?
LAURA: No, you did this to her, Grog.
ASHLEY: You did it.
TALIESIN: You were responsible for this.
TRAVIS: I feel like I'm missing something. Let's go inside.
MATT: All right.
LAURA: I want to keep holding her head, but I also really want to get some cheese off that plate so I'm just going to set it down.
ASHLEY: I got her.
LAURA: Okay.
ASHLEY: I'm going to try casting Revivify. I don't know if it's going to work.
SAM: Has it been more than a minute?
MATT: It's been far more than a minute.
ASHLEY: Oh shit, that's a minute, isn't it?
MATT: And you do not have any components on you.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
SAM: Because we were robbed.
LAURA: What do we do?
ASHLEY: I was just trying to see if maybe you forgot.
TRAVIS: We were robbed?
SAM: We were also robbed, Grog.
MATT: Respect.
SAM: This fellow named Bob-- at least that's what we think his name was. He met us, he talked to us for a while, and then when we looked down at our pockets, all of our money and possessions were gone for most of us.
TRAVIS: I'm asleep for one day and you take me to some random ass place and get robbed. What has become of you--
SAM: I don't even know, Grog. Maybe you should check your body. He could have robbed things off of your body.
TRAVIS: Can I check my person and my Bag of Holding and all my bits. Like, are my balls there?
(laughter)
SAM: We'll edit out to shorten it.
MATT: Thank you. Don't. It's part of the genuine experience.
TRAVIS: Yeah. What's the rush?
MATT: Your Bag of Holding is missing.
(gasps)
SAM: You were robbed.
ASHLEY: There was so much in that bag.
LAURA: The whole bag?!
TRAVIS: It's like our identities, all these years in one bag.
LAURA: I'm a very perceptive person. I can't believe he robbed all of us and I didn't notice.
MARISHA: There was some little bits of Dork the Ox in that bag.
TRAVIS: No, those are gone by now.
MARISHA: Oh.
TRAVIS: Yeah. But there was lots of fancy robes and expensive wines.
TALIESIN and MARISHA: Still smells like him.
TRAVIS: Flatware and really--
LAURA: Dried poo. Some dried poo.
SAM: Grog, this is actually a good thing because you know what this means? You know what this gives us an opportunity to do?
TRAVIS: Not really.
SAM: Revenge.
TRAVIS: (gasps)
SAM: We're going to find this Bob, get back our belongings, and make him pay for desecrating your sort of dead body and stealing from us. We are Vox fucking Machina. He can't steal from us. We're the fucking police and army--
MARISHA: I mean, technically, he did steal from us.
TRAVIS: I was almost outraged. I was like this close.
SAM: I know. It's been a long day.
TRAVIS: Deliver me next time, will you? Don't just tease a man.
SAM: I'll try.
TRAVIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: Let's perhaps do something.
MARISHA: How do we track him down? We should sleep and then track him down.
TRAVIS: Yeah we can track, but we've tracked harder people. What did this person look like?
SAM: I don't really remember.
MARISHA: He was a gith.
TRAVIS: He was what?
LAURA: Oh, you know, I remember. You remember that skull that you and Percy fought over?
TRAVIS: I don't know if it's fought, more like I--
TALIESIN: We don't talk about that skull. We're hoping it's just going to vanish from his memory.
LAURA: I feel like he was one of those things.
TRAVIS: A skull?
TALIESIN: We're all technically a skull, dear.
LAURA: No, no, like--
SAM: He had skin and hair.
TRAVIS: That sounds like nobody you want to mess with.
LAURA: It was this ancient weird-looking skull, remember? Never mind.
TALIESIN: I'll also add. This person has all of our things. Find Objects, some basic scrying should be able to-- we know everything.
LAURA: I have Locate Object. I can do that.
SAM: First, should we deal with the Lieve'tel woman?
TALIESIN: Yes.
ASHLEY: What about Spare the Dying?
SAM: What's that do?
ASHLEY: I don't think I need any components for that.
SAM: What does that do?
MATT: That's revolting.
LAURA: Ew, gross! Don't waste the meat like that!
SAM: That's part of her brain.
LAURA: You have to eat it!
LIAM: Of course I'm going to eat it.
LAURA: Gross.
LIAM: Put my face back on!
LAURA: Liam O'Brien, don't be nasty.
TRAVIS: There's going to be a break out tomorrow. Just up here in this.
LAURA: Yeah. [inaudbile] UCB!
TRAVIS: What happened to that part of your forehead?
SAM: Pike, what does that do, what does that do?
ASHLEY: Spare the Dying, you just touch someone and it instantly brings them back. But I don't know if he's still alive.
LAURA: I feel like it's only if somebody's unconscious.
ASHLEY: It's only unconscious. You know even though I'm level 20, I really can't remember somehow anything.
TALIESIN: Just because recently I've been reading up on how clerics function. I've been reading a fascinating book about the art of--
SAM: Clericcing?
TALIESIN: Clerical work.
TRAVIS: Can I go over and loot?
TALIESIN: I believe that there's in fact a 5th-level spell, but unfortunately we would need some components for it to function. It's very difficult to bring somebody back from the dead without components.
ASHLEY: Yes, we need components.
LAURA: Did he take all of our components, or just the fancy ones?
MATT: All the fancy ones.
TALIESIN: Oh, so we might have--
LAURA: Unfancy ones.
MATT: You have the basic components, but anything that has a monetary cost in the name--
TALIESIN: A monetary cost in the name.
MATT: Yes.
TALIESIN: Bugger.
TRAVIS: Can I go over and look at the body of Lieve'tel? What do I see?
MATT: Okay. If you'd like to describe what Grog sees when Grog walks over to look upon the body of Lieve'tel.
LIAM: I don't know; she's dead.
TRAVIS: Yeah, but I've never seen her before.
LIAM: I don't remember what happened to her before. Oh, what she looks like.
MATT: Yes.
LIAM: Well, she's a striking, beautiful, dark-haired woman.
TALIESIN: She strikes everyone.
LIAM: She's got a plume of black feathers and a robe, a black robe and silver stars and her head is cleft.
TRAVIS: Cleft?
LIAM: Split.
TRAVIS: Oh, oh.
ASHLEY: It's split open.
LIAM: One of the eyes is hanging from a little string.
TRAVIS: Are those her noodles coming out of there?
LAURA: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Well, I hope so.
SAM: What components do you need, Pikey Poo?
ASHLEY: Diamonds.
SAM: How many and how much of value?
TALIESIN and ASHLEY: 500.
TALIESIN: If I recall.
ASHLEY: Yes, I think that's absolutely correct.
SAM: I might be able to get that for you.
TALIESIN: We would also have to put her head back together, if I recall, at least try and put it back together.
LAURA: Well, it's pretty close together. She might come back a little different.
TALIESIN: Unless there's a spell I don't know about.
MATT: Well, no, as long as you have all the pieces and hold them together, it should be okay.
SAM: You know what? You know what we should do? We should all go outside and just look on the floor to make sure none of the pieces fell out.
TALIESIN: I swear, by the way, if you bust out an jigsaw puzzle right now I'm going to be the happiest man in the world. With just Lieve's face.
LAURA: Did Bob steal my wedding ring?
MATT: Uh... no. That would have been too on point.
SAM: Oh boy, this is where we find out Percy got you a cubic zirconium ring.
TALIESIN: I made it myself.
(laughter)
TRAVIS: Oh shit.
SAM: Why isn't it working?
TALIESIN: Well, I'm going to be outside in Pandemonium. Excuse me.
LAURA: It might be worth far more than 500 gold, but it's something.
SAM: Is it a diamond?
LAURA: It is a diamond.
SAM: What cut?
LAURA: It's a princess cut. I don't fucking know.
SAM: That's a little tacky.
TALIESIN: We can use it to help stick everything together, then, if it's a little tacky, can't we?
ASHLEY: I'll go double check to see if there's any head bits outside.
SAM: Sure sure.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: I'll join Pike to make sure nothing bad happens.
SAM: Can we only talk to Matt when he's just taken a bite?
MATT: Yes, please, this is why I don't eat during the game.
TRAVIS: I will also join Pike because I missed her so much.
ASHLEY: Oh Grog.
TRAVIS: Yeah, buddy.
ASHLEY: That's my best buddy!
TRAVIS: I know! Give me a hug!
MATT: So I'm going to have Pike and Keyleth either each individually make investigation checks or one of you make it with advantage. Your call.
MARISHA: How's your investigation? How's your Pikey Pike investigatey-gatey.
SAM: Just do it. Just do it.
LAURA: Just both of you do it.
ASHLEY: It's only one.
MARISHA: One for, okay okay. We'll each roll. We'll each roll.
ASHLEY: We'll each roll? Okay.
MARISHA: Do we do the searching for a contact thing? That's okay. 14.
ASHLEY: 18.
MATT: 18, okay. You find a couple of errant scraps of Lieve'tel to complete the puzzle.
SAM: Great.
LAURA: Oh cool.
MARISHA: Oh look, I also found a fossil, that's awesome.
ASHLEY: Cool.
TRAVIS: Are you going to put stuff back in that doesn't belong?
MATT: She didn't quite come back right.
TRAVIS: Thank you for saving my life. What the fuck?!
LIAM: New powers.
SAM: There's an arrowhead.
TALIESIN: I believe you're supposed to leave those when you find them right. You're not actually supposed to take them. That's fine.
MARISHA: Oh, don't tell anybody.
TALIESIN: No, if we all took one, they would all be gone very quickly.
LIAM: Yeah, guys, take your time so I can eat all of these cinnamon rolls.
ASHLEY: I think we got all the bits.
SAM: Shove them in there. What would you like to use? Your wedding ring or a bit of magic?
TALIESIN: Just an excuse to throw a party & get another one.
LAURA: You know, everyone wasn't at the first one.
TALIESIN: I think this is a wonderful idea.
LAURA: Would that be allowed?
MATT: Using your wedding ring as a component? Yeah, it would.
SAM: Wow, that's love.
ASHLEY: Okay. Let me do my thing and then-- Okay, I'll put that down. I'm going to mush all her face back together.
(laughter)
ASHLEY: Maybe an extra bit in there.
MATT: An extra bit?
TRAVIS: Of what?
ASHLEY: I don't know, but just on the outside so she can pull it out if she wanted.
MARISHA: Give her the fossil piece. Maybe it will make a cool cyborg.
LIAM: You guys are all literally the worst and I love you so much.
MARISHA: She could-- It'd be like a battle scar.
ASHLEY: A battle scar. It could also be like a hair clip.
LIAM: Wear it like a unicorn horn.
MATT: You're not there. Shh!
MARISHA: I think if you make it like a plate, like a scar plate, uh-huh.
ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to try to make it like a plate.
MARISHA: That's rad.
ASHLEY: Put everything together real nice.
MARISHA: I think she'll appreciate us making these body modifications for her.
ASHLEY: I think she'll really like it.
MARISHA: Yeah, I think so, too.
ASHLEY: It's like she has like a souvenir from Pandemonium.
MARISHA: Exactly! Who wouldn't want to remember this incredible time?
TALIESIN: I'm going to sit over by the fire and ignore this.
MATT: I'm just envisioning a Subway sandwich artist and there's too much stuff in the sandwich and they're trying to hold it closed.
(laughter)
LIAM: Roll it up in the paper.
TALIESIN: Thanks for saying artist. That makes me feel better. That was a call back.
ASHLEY: All right.
TRAVIS: It'll fit. It'll fit.
ASHLEY: Wait, I was casting--
SAM and TALIESIN: It's level five.
MATT: Is it Raise Dead?
ASHLEY and TALIESIN: Raise Dead.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: All right. You're all here within Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion. You watch as Pike scrawls out the familiar arcane-- or this would be divine circle in this space, drawing the lines. You've gone through this process a number of times with your friends. A little less familiar this time, but nevertheless an individual who has made quite a sacrifice and put some of your heart and energy into bringing back from the realm where her god holds supreme, that transition. Upon reaching out to tug against the spirit of one who worships the Raven Queen, let's go ahead and complete a resurrection ritual. Who would like to apply first to this?
LIAM: Give me your heartfelt feelings after six hours.
SAM: I will contribute to this ritual.
MATT: Yes, you will.
SAM: I will excuse myself and then come back holding a small lump of poo.
TALIESIN: It's nice of you to excuse yourself.
LIAM: Speckled. (laughter)
TRAVIS: How long were you gone?
MATT: Oh god! You fucking asshole!
SAM: I was gone for almost 15 minutes. I like to do some reading.
TRAVIS: So you said, "I'll go first," and then left for 15 minutes?
(laughter)
SAM: After some grunting. It's hard to go on command.
ASHLEY: What did you read?
SAM: I read-- I don't-- maybe I read a love letter I had written to you from before.
LAURA: Oh, nothing makes you poo faster.
SAM: Just to proofread it and make sure.
TRAVIS: Keep those in the bathroom.
SAM: I will take my little poop and I will just smear a little bit right across her--
LAURA: Oh fucking gross.
SAM: Her forehead and sort of bless the ritual inspire the ritual somehow, I don't know, by composing a limerick to her.
MATT: All right.
SAM: Oh our handsome dummy Mr. Bell
- and our creepy new friend Lieve'tel
- to welcome them to the group
- I shall give them both my poop
- to honor them with my mark and my smell.
ASHLEY: Oh wow.
SAM: And I hope that does something.
MATT: Roll a persuasion check with disadvantage.
SAM: Disadvantage?
MATT: Because you just put poop on her head!
SAM: Okay.
MATT: But you're still really good with persuasion.
SAM: I rolled a two, so that's 20.
(laughter)
MATT: That reduces the DC.
MARISHA: What?!
SAM: According to CritRoleStats, I've got a persuasion of plus 18.
LAURA: Well, I have a stealth of 17, so that makes sense.
MATT: Yep. All right and as you smear the trail across the forehead in a very like Simba fashion.
SAM and TALIESIN: Simba.
TRAVIS: It is time.
MATT: You sense the soul of Lieve'tel, who still resides being dragged across the various realms, tugged a little closer to where the body was, as if out of mere anger at what you've done to her corpse. All right. Anybody else would like to--?
TRAVIS: Who's up for Le'veon Bell?
LAURA: I'll step forward. Oh god, I don't have anything to offer.
ASHLEY: Oh Lieve'tel.
TRAVIS: Lieve'tel?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LIAM: Raven Queen listened to all that and was like, "That tracks."
SAM: Anyone want to help our friend?
LAURA: Yeah yeah yeah, just trying to think of what to give for it.
MARISHA: Do we have to physically give something?
LAURA: I mean, I already gave a fucking wedding ring so it kind of--
ASHLEY: Yeah, you already gave her your wedding ring.
SAM: Have some magic or something?
ASHLEY: I mean, we did give her that cool fossil.
MARISHA: We did.
MATT: Doesn't have to be an object. It can be words, it can be an object, it can be an offering. It could be anything of what you think would be a way to call a spirit back from the dead.
LAURA: Okay, all right I'll step forward. All right. Well, you came here for us and we just lost someone we loved very much and you were saying you were going to be with us because of that and now you're gone as well and I think that's pretty shitty, hence the poop. So I'd appreciate if you came back and proved to us that the Raven Queen doesn't suck complete balls.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LAURA: Maybe give us something to believe in. That's all.
MARISHA: That was a--
ASHLEY: Amen.
MATT: Okay. There's already been a persuasion roll, so I'll allow a second one which will be a much higher DC.
LAURA: Oh fuck. I should have sung a song or some shit. I don't know. Or done a like acrobatics move or something.
MATT: I'll tell you what. You can take a persuasion with disadvantage or an intimidation with a single roll.
LAURA: No, I'll take the persuasion.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: (sings)
LIAM: Guys, this is beautiful.
SAM: Yeah it is.
LAURA: Ooh, oh no! Persuasion 13.
MATT: 13? I don't know, something about the not heartened attempt at reaching out to someone you really have no care, who for just reminds you of a sad part in your life didn't seem to really give a heavier tether to the realm.
LAURA: Somebody do something really good because I didn't feel anything.
SAM: Grog?
MARISHA: I'm afraid I'd pretty much have the same mood.
LAURA: You have something, Grog?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Put that down.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TRAVIS: Does anyone else want to go?
SAM: No, but this person was vital in saving your life.
LAURA: Yes, yes.
TRAVIS: No, I realize.
SAM: She gave her life for yours, so make it count.
TRAVIS: Okay (clears throat). Hello, my name is Grog Strongjaw. We have not had the ability to meet. I appreciate the meat that is coming out of your dome. However, since we have not had the pleasure of acquainting--
SAM: Yes!
ASHLEY: That's so good! That's a good one.
TRAVIS: I hope that you will consider coming back to life so that I may thank you properly for protecting my friends. That being said, (yelling) get your fucking ass up because no one dies around Vox Machina! We've had too many deaths already and I swear I will beat you all over this room until you die a second time.
MATT: Roll an intimidation check using your strength modifier.
LAURA: Woo.
LIAM: Whatever happens here, it will be interesting.
TRAVIS: Natural 20. (cheering)
LAURA: You fucking dick!
SAM and MARISHA: Three in a row.
LAURA: You--
SAM: Wow.
TRAVIS: Sometimes your character and you are one.
(laughter)
LAURA: You fucking-- are you serious?!
MATT: It takes a certain level of legendary hero to threaten a spirit to return to the body. We shall see if it is enough. The natural 20 that reduces it further so we're looking at-- eight--
TRAVIS: We've done all we can.
LAURA: Oh no, what is it?
MATT: DC was four, rolled a five. 'Cause it reduced it to an eight to a six and because you rolled a natural 20 it brought it to a four.
SAM: Whoa.
LAURA: But wait eight to a six, but I failed.
MATT: Yeah, no you failed but he rolled a natural 20 so I doubled it down for the hell of it. So with a momentary, not terribly tense pause, (laughs) you hear the (inhale) breath come back into Lieve'tel's body
TRAVIS: Hey hey! Hoo hoo!
SAM: You did it, Grog.
TRAVIS: We did it!
LAURA: What does she look like? Is it healed or is it just--?
MATT: It is healed. The fossil is still partially lodged in the skull. The headache is atrocious, as is the smell, Lieve'tel, but life has brought itself to you once more. Your time is not done. Apparently there is more the Raven Queen has in store for you.
LIAM: I have not pierced the veil in 107 years. You are an interesting bunch. (sniffs) Is that fecal matter?
SAM: No, no, it's life. Welcome back.
ASHLEY: Yes, welcome back.
TRAVIS: Hi, my name is Grog. I wanted to thank you in person for coming to rescue me and for protecting my friends.
ASHLEY: Yes.
LIAM: Very much worth the trouble, young man.
TRAVIS: Oh!
LIAM: I think I need a moment or two. Is there a bathroom and where are we?
SAM: Well, you're in a mansion in the middle of Pandemonium.
LAURA: A magnificent mansion.
SAM: It's my place.
MARISHA: There's a cheese platter.
SAM: There are refreshments.
ASHLEY: Chicken.
SAM: No chicken anymore.
LAURA: He doesn't eat chicken anymore.
SAM: I'm a vegan.
ASHLEY: Oh, I forgot about that.
TRAVIS: Yeah, we all fuck up.
LAURA: It's all beans and lentils and shit.
SAM: It's all right. They make it seem like it's meat.
ASHLEY: It tastes like chicken.
SAM: Yeah.
TALIESIN: It really doesn't.
SAM: Anyway, there's some lovely facilities and you can even use a room here.
LIAM: I'm just going to, you know--
SAM: Freshen up?
LIAM: Yes.
ASHLEY: That was a--
LIAM: Do I have a mark here?
SAM: From the battle, from the battle.
ASHLEY: It's actually--
MARISHA: Super cool.
ASHLEY: Yeah, it was a fossil that she found outside.
TRAVIS: I don't know you from beforehand, but I think you're rather striking.
LIAM: Well, that is true. I'll be back. We'll get to know each other better. Which way to the--
LAURA: Were you hitting on that elf?
SAM: You know, the mansion changes shape a lot, but I think third door on your left.
LIAM: You're sure? I have been in places like this before.
SAM: No, I'm quite certain. You know what, I'll have one of my servants accompany you. (claps) Ladies.
MATT: About a half dozen spectral female servants come rushing over with nice dresses, coming over and guide your arms and shoulders gently in the direction of the water closet to freshen up.
LIAM: Excellent. I'll be back, everyone.
LAURA: Take your time. Get that shit off your head.
TRAVIS: Yo, nicely done.
ASHLEY: You, too! You just really just inspired her to come back.
TRAVIS: Is that what I did?
ASHLEY: Yes, you did.
TRAVIS: I was actually quite angry at the end there, but I don't need any more heartache.
ASHLEY: Sometimes you just need a good pep talk if you're dead.
TRAVIS: Yeah, I guess that's what I did, didn't I?
ASHLEY: I think you did.
TRAVIS: Thanks, man!
ASHLEY: Yeah, you did a good job.
TALIESIN: There are some side effects, I should mention.
TRAVIS: What do you mean?
SAM: Of what?
TALIESIN: Well, this is not a perfect spell. It does have some issues.
TRAVIS: Issues?
TALIESIN: Well, I didn't know it was going to work so I didn't mention anything.
MATT: You both have gone through this process previously. It takes a few days for you to recover from the effects of being pulled back from beyond the veil.
TRAVIS: What do you mean?
MATT: From a mechanical standpoint, Lieve'tel is at minus four to all attack rolls, saving throws, and ability checks and the net penalty is reduced by one after every long rest.
LAURA: If we sleep, she'll do better.
MATT: Yeah, she'll be minus three.
LAURA: Yeah!
TALIESIN: You can also, I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, burn a Greater Restoration and knock that down one more, I believe, in a pinch.
MATT: I will double check that.
TRAVIS: Well, that is amazing. Now, may I ask you all now that we're all safe and sound and enjoying these shitty salads, so you fought your way to the top of a castle?
TALIESIN: We did.
TRAVIS: Right. Did you, like, decimate everything on your way through?
TALIESIN: Well!
SAM: Time was of the essence, Grog, so we actually skipped a lot of the fighting. We did fight some wolves?
MARISHA: Yeah, big hella hound things.
TRAVIS: Hella hounds?
MARISHA: Yeah, holla hounds.
TRAVIS: Hella.
SAM: And we passed by a monster or two.
MARISHA: We successfully sneaked past a big demon guy doing wall art.
TRAVIS: What? Sneak?
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: You mean like he's still--?
MARISHA: Yeah!
SAM: Yes. Do we have to go back through this labyrinth of horrors to get down or--
TALIESIN: We have actually discussed how we're getting home, but we didn't--
LAURA: Go over the side maybe.
TALIESIN: I think he's speaking-- you're speaking of the entire--
SAM: No no, I was speaking specifically about we're on top of something that we need to get off of.
TALIESIN: Well, if I recall quite a bit of it fell so I think we're much closer to the ground at this point.
MATT: No, like ten feet of some walls fell.
TALIESIN: Well, that's a bit.
LAURA: We do have an endless rope.
SAM: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: Perhaps on me.
TRAVIS: Did you want to go back down?
SAM: Oh, probably in the Bag of Holding.
LAURA: In the Bag of Holding.
MATT: Yeah...
MARISHA: I could turn us into clouds and we could just float down.
SAM: That always works.
TALIESIN: It does always work.
TRAVIS: Is it a problem it's real windy outside?
TALIESIN: It's extremely windy.
LAURA: Can we control our clouds?
MATT: Make an intelligence check.
TALIESIN: Yay.
TRAVIS: Do you want help with that?
TALIESIN: With disadvantage.
MARISHA: Can I use wisdom? I'm not wise about the weather? No? Oh, just straight intelligence, right?
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: 19.
MATT: 19. That'd be a bad idea. (laughs)
MARISHA: It would be a bad idea.
MATT: You guys would be kites in a wind storm.
ASHLEY: We can always just climb down.
LAURA and SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
TRAVIS: Are you sure you don't want to go back down by the big nasty now that you got your--?
TALIESIN: I don't think it quite-- I think we want to get our stuff back and get out.
TRAVIS: Oh okay.
LAURA: Here's the thing, we don't have any powerful spells because we don't have any components.
TRAVIS: No problem, I've never had those.
LAURA: Yes, but other people do.
TRAVIS: Oh right yep, you do.
MARISHA: Could I Animal Shapes us into things that fly, would that be a bad idea?
MATT: I mean, it will be difficult.
MARISHA: So still flying, just flying is a bad idea?
LAURA: Flying-- I didn't want to bust out my broom up here.
MATT: It's possible. It's just going to be difficult, like the wind is pretty intense around here and it feels like it's near perpetual hurricane without the moisture.
TRAVIS: Do we know how long of a fall it is from the top to the ground because I could always just like, "Wee!" (splat) eat it a little bit and I catch everybody.
TALIESIN: Oh, we'd have to resurrect you again. That would be such fun.
TRAVIS: I could take it.
MARISHA: If it's a thousand feet, it's a bad idea.
TRAVIS: Is it a thousand feet?
MARISHA: It-- probably.
TRAVIS: Jeez.
MATT: It's been quite a climb up here. You don't have a good scope, necessarily, because you guys spent a lot of it climbing in the interior of the tower, but you've been traveling upwards over an hour, like two plus hours to get up through to the top of the tower.
LIAM: Should we assume that any spell that takes any material components is busted right now?
MATT: No, you can cast any spell that has material components that don't cost money. Or have a money cost involved.
LIAM: While they're having this discussion, Lieve'tel is casting Regenerate on her forehead to return it to is pristine condition, and Thaumaturgy to clean the gnome shit off her face.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Thaumaturgy doesn't clean shit.
LIAM: People have--
LAURA: Prestidigitation. Thaumaturgy makes your eyes change color.
LIAM: Then I'll use water then.
MATT: Yeah, water, water actually does that job as well.
SAM: And napkins.
MARISHA: We should Heroes' Feast before we got to sleep, because we forgot that.
MATT: You hear a (popping) as the fossil just ejects itself from--
TALIESIN: Heroes' Feast costs components.
MARISHA: Oh the bowls. Fuck. Never mind.
TALIESIN: He took it all.
ASHLEY: Oh we can't do Heroes'-- Fuck.
TRAVIS: I've got an idea. So look, we've got to go down through the castle thing, right?
LAURA: Possibly.
TRAVIS: It's like somewhere down there, what if we're like, "Yoo-hoo," and we call it up and it comes out, we run down?
MARISHA: The painting demon thing?
TRAVIS: Whatever's down there.
SAM: We could, but first--is there any sort of magicking we can do to find the location of Bob?
LAURA: Yes, I can cast Locate Object.
SAM: Without material components? and also does that have a range, a distance range?
LAURA: Yes, a thousand feet.
TALIESIN: Scrying, though.
SAM: Hmm, yeah, that's not that much.
MARISHA: I could scry.
LAURA: Yes, scry.
TRAVIS: (high-pitched voice) I could scry.
MARISHA: Give me PHB, PHB.
LAURA: PHB. Fudge pop.
TRAVIS: PCP.
MARISHA: (incredulous noise)
TALIESIN: 10-4.
MARISHA: Let me see how to scry because I'm assuming my scrying eye got stolen?
MATT: No, you still have your objects.
MARISHA: Oh, I still have my scrying eye?
MATT: Whatever you have on you that wasn't in the Bag of Holding you still have, unless it's a material component that costs money. He didn't rob you of everything you have.
LAURA: How did he do that? He must be really good.
SAM: It must be magic.
LAURA: It must be magic.
MATT: It's strange, because you watched him the entire time. You saw where he stood like ten feet from you.
LAURA: That's right.
MATT: He never came close to you.
SAM: Maybe he had invisible servants or something. Or maybe there was like a (gasps). I've heard about some magic where powerful practitioners can stop time. He could have stopped time for us briefly, robbed us all, and then come back.
TALIESIN: That seems far fetched.
LAURA: I've never heard of anything like that. That's crazy.
SAM: I can talk to crazy people.
MARISHA: I could scry because I have a--
SAM: What'd you say?
MARISHA: I could scry.
LAURA: Then do it.
MARISHA: Okay.
MARISHA: I scry.
MATT: Okay. As Lieve'tel has finished washing her face and absolving her skull of the errant matter that you've jammed into it during the resurrection process, you lay out the scrying ritual, focusing on and looking for--
LAURA: The tuning--
MARISHA: The tuning fork for the plane or--?
SAM: The Bag of Holding.
MARISHA: Or the Bag of Holding, right? Is that pretty--?
MATT: It's going to be a person or an object or a place. So it could be the guy, it could be an object he's carrying. It could be any of that stuff. It's up to you.
MARISHA: I'll do the guy. In case, you know-- The guy. Bob.
MATT: Okay, all right.
ASHLEY: We're searching for Bob.
SAM: Yeah, it's the Search for Bob. It's the title of the show.
MATT: Your spell DC is--?
SAM: He already fenced all the stuff.
TALIESIN: I don't remember how any of this works.
MARISHA: 20.
MATT: Okay. As your vision begins to emerge and push itself into the wind storm, you feel yourself being drawn through this intense battering buffet of wind from every direction. (whooshing) And you continue to be drawn through in this arc. You sense a direction from where you're standing. It's pulled through, pulled through.
MARISHA: It's Key West. Sorry, keep going. Sorry.
MATT: Eventually as it begins to arc downward through the storm coming closer and closer, it flashes forward and you see dark shapes. They look like structures, partial structures, parts of what was once a structure that sits low upon the ground beneath the intensity of the storm where there's still wind and sand and dust blowing through, but it's not as dangerous as it is up top this tower where you are. Closer to where when you first arrived. There amongst the ruins, you can see there are partially collapsed walls and a marbled floor that is partially broken apart and gaps lie where it seems to have sustained either serious damage or eroded over time, the material itself dark like a jet black metal. Amongst these ruins, you see load-bearing pillars that no longer maintain an upper floor, seemingly blown away, one pillar toppled. You see tucked along the remnants of these walls a desk and some shelves and a bed, and there you see, going through a bag of equipment and cataloging all manner of things that you guys once had on your person-- Bob.
MARISHA: Fucking Bob.
MATT: With a tiny lantern and a quill just going through with a pair of glasses on his snubbed Githzerai nose and sets them one by one as he's taking notes. You pull back.
MARISHA: Fucking Bob.
LAURA: It was him?
MARISHA: He's squatting in some ruins cataloging all of our stuff, which makes me think that time is of the essence because maybe he's going to pawn them or something.
LAURA: How do you pawn that here?
MARISHA: I don't know. I mean, there's people like Bob, so why couldn't there be more people like Bob?
ASHLEY: What if he's just like Little Mermaid?
SAM: Oh, yeah.
ASHLEY: Like he just keeps everything.
SAM: Because he wants to be closer to humanity or something.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MARISHA: He has a nice little desk and a reading area. It actually looked very cozy.
LAURA: What if he doesn't know what any of it is actually for?
SAM: Let's not worry too much about Bob's backstory right now. Your scrying eye, while powerful and amazing, can't really pinpoint a location, can it?
MARISHA: Um, y-yeah.
MATT: I'll say you got a general direction from where you are.
MARISHA: It's down the mountain back where we came, hang to the left a little bit.
TALIESIN: Your other left.
MARISHA: You're right. I was looking at the other left and then like a collapsed building.
SAM: Okay, so we can find it just from your--
MARISHA: Yes, I think so.
LIAM: What are we discussing? How to get home?
LAURA: Well, sort of, yes.
ASHLEY: Oh!
TALIESIN: Yes, actually, technically, I think so.
ASHLEY: You didn't--?
LIAM: Hmm?
SAM: Your fossil head is gone.
LAURA: To be fair, Pike, I probably wouldn't want a fossil in my forehead either.
ASHLEY: Well, yeah.
LIAM: I didn't live to be 350 years old without learning a trick or two.
TRAVIS: You're 350 years old?
TALIESIN: She just said she didn't live to be 350--
LIAM: Don't you think I wear it well?
TRAVIS: Well, yeah.
LIAM: Mr. Bell does, don't you, Mr. Bell?
TRAVIS: Yes, it looks marvelous on you. God, I forgot I was even here. (laughter) Apparently, I have an accent all of a sudden.
SAM: We were talking about going to get Bob, the fellow that we all met and who robbed from us. Did he rob from you as well?
LIAM: Yes, he took something of great value. He took a pinky bone of a man who died a long time ago.
SAM: Well, then perhaps you would have a motivation for finding him as well.
MARISHA: Who's the man?
LIAM: His name was Purvan.
(snickering)
MARISHA: We know Purvan.
LAURA: That was funny.
LIAM: Is it?
MARISHA: Yeah.
LIAM: Are you trying a find a person, a place?
SAM: We've sort of located him through Keyleth's impressive and powerful magic. Why? Do you have a trick up your sleeve that can help?
LIAM: Perhaps if you describe it to me I can find the place. I can Find the Path, yes.
MARISHA: It's down the mountain towards the way we came, hang a little bit to the left and then you'll find some buildings--
TALIESIN: I think what she means is, what did it look like?
LIAM: Yes, what it did look like?
MARISHA: Building ruins.
LAURA: With a desk and a lantern you said.
MARISHA: Uh huh, and he was cataloging things.
LIAM: And the area around it?
MARISHA: The abyssal plains.
LAURA: Ruins. There was ruins. I think it was probably windy.
MARISHA: Very, very windy. It was actually less windy, because it was set down a little bit.
MATT: You describe the details--
MARISHA: Yeah, it's what he said.
MATT: There's rocky protrusions in the ground around it. You can see part of a secondary floor that still manages to linger in place and just bundles of things kept to the side. Boxes, chests, things that this individual Bob seems to be keeping all his things in.
LIAM: Yeah, this spell--
MARISHA: That wafer cracker?
SAM: It doesn't work?
LIAM: I don't think I have the--no, he buggered off with things I need.
SAM: Well, if there's something that we need, a particular component, I can help us with that.
LAURA: How?
TALIESIN: How?
SAM: I can make things with my mind.
ASHLEY: You can?
LAURA: Are they worth money?
TALIESIN: Are they things that actually work?
SAM: It's called The Secret. If you think about something-- (laughter) -you just envision it.
TALIESIN: Oh boy, oh boy.
SAM: I can only do it once and I don't want to waste it on an egg.
LAURA: We're going to sleep, right? I mean, we're going to sleep before we find Bob.
SAM: I could sleep, but I could use this and then sleep.
TALIESIN: Oh that's a very good idea.
MARISHA: Is it like real though, or is it like your counterfeit furniture that you hawked?
SAM: It would be real. I think, yes. Yes, it would be real, but I can make us a component if you need it or I could just--
LAURA: So you could just make us a tuning fork and we could go home?
SAM: True.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) We need our stuff.
SAM: And we need revenge.
LAURA: I understand, and honestly, I don't mind staying here. As soon as we go home, we have to deal with the real world.
TRAVIS: (as Bell) Actually, this is a really lovely place. What establishment are we in?
SAM: This is my home. This is my magnificent mansion.
TRAVIS: Quite rich, I must say.
SAM: I got it when the market was bottomed out and, you know, it was a good sound investment.
TRAVIS: Low interest rate?
SAM: Yeah, I locked in 2.7.
TRAVIS: Adjustable or fixed?
SAM: Fixed, bitch.
TRAVIS: Well, I am quite impressed. Can we just stay here for--?
LIAM: You would never find a deal like that in Vasselheim.
SAM: Well, it's gentrified.
TALIESIN: What components would you need for this particulate locate spell?
LIAM: I used this to find your friend, but-- because he was in a location you were searching for, but I need something from where this Bob is, which we don't have and I don't think you can make.
TALIESIN: Oh.
LAURA: Hmm.
MARISHA: I mean, if there's something to get us down the mountain faster.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) I mean, is that really what the big problem is? How we get down?
TALIESIN: That's the first problem.
TRAVIS: Yeah, so do that.
SAM: Just go down?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
SAM: Through the building or off the side?
TRAVIS: Yep, sometimes the simplest answer is the shortest point between two ideas.
SAM: That's actually pretty good. (laughs)
TALIESIN: Almost sensible, but at the same time, we don't have a lot. If we have some spells that we need and you could do this before you go to sleep we should know precisely what spells we need to find our way. We have a general direction at this point, so we could just try and home in Locate Object on occasion when we see something on the distance, but it is difficult to see in that terrain. I can get down the side of the tower. I don't know about everybody else though.
MATT: I will say so you're aware, Lieve'tel.
LIAM: Yes?
MATT: The spell you're trying requires an object from the location you wish to find, but you need to have it in your hand, right?
LIAM: Which is what I'm saying. It wouldn't work, because I don't have anything.
LAURA: I have an idea. Why don't you turn us all into something very small? Percival, you put us in your pocket and you walk on down the tower?
TRAVIS: Oh shit. Oh shit.
TALIESIN: I'm attempting to discover whether or not that would work. I'm pretty sure it would.
TRAVIS: Yo, Vex, up top. Smash hands.
TALIESIN: I get about an hour out of the boots, right?
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: Oh, your Spider Climbing Boots?
TRAVIS: What if we were all, like, lady bugs?
LAURA: You could run.
TALIESIN: Mice will do.
TRAVIS: I don't like mice.
ASHLEY: Well, we'll be a little stronger.
LAURA: You could be a weasel, maybe.
ASHLEY: Then we wouldn't blow away, just in case.
LAURA: Yeah, ladybugs. They could blow away and no one would notice.
ASHLEY: Then, if he put us in his pocket, we could smash.
MATT: There's no limitation to it, as long as you have the boots on, as long as you want to, climb along surfaces. There's no limitation to the time.
TALIESIN: Okay, oh.
LIAM: The boots are endless, aren't they?
TALIESIN: I couldn't remember. I thought they had an activation--
MATT: No, that's Boots of Haste. Yours do not.
TALIESIN: All right. It's been a while.
MATT: It's all good.
LAURA: Let's sleep and do that and then head down.
MARISHA: I don't have to have anything fancy for Animal Shapes?
LIAM: That's just druid shit, yo.
MARISHA: That's awesome. I could just do that.
TALIESIN: How long does Animal Shapes last?
MARISHA: Up to 24 hours.
TALIESIN: So if you do it now?
MARISHA: It's concentration.
LAURA: We should sleep.
TALIESIN: We could do it now, sleep, and then I could just grab everybody else, get us downstairs.
LAURA: I mean, that's lovely.
MARISHA: Do we want to use Scanlan's fancy spell to make a chalice so we can have a Heroes' Feast?
LAURA: Oh, that's also a very good idea.
SAM: We could do that.
LAURA: Yeah, let's do that.
TRAVIS: Let's commit and do it.
SAM: Chalice?
TRAVIS: Yep.
MARISHA: Cool, we have a plan.
ASHLEY: We also could have done that for a diamond so she didn't have to use her wedding ring.
LAURA: Motherfucker.
SAM: I was ready to. I was ready to.
LAURA: No, but it's fine. We couldn't use my ring to make a chalice, so there you go.
SAM: There you go.
ASHLEY: That's true.
SAM: All right, we're going to do some Heroes' Feasting.
MARISHA: Yeah. Plus, you get to renew your vows!
ASHLEY: That's true.
MARISHA: Can I make the cake?
TALIESIN: Maybe.
LAURA: Of course. I was thinking the Slayer's Cake.
MARISHA: Slayer's Cake! Yeah!
MATT: You're trying to attempt to create--
SAM: Let me look. What is this spell? Wrong spell, go back, come on. With the old--
TALIESIN: Okay.
SAM: With the old Wish spell.
TALIESIN: How's this Wish spell work?
MATT: You can create an object--
SAM: I can make one object up to 25,000 gold pieces in value that isn't magic.
MATT: Correct.
SAM: A chalice qualifies, right?
MATT: Correct. The gem encrusted-- well, it's a bowl, technically-- worth at least a thousand gold pieces. You can definitely do that.
SAM: I will wish for a chalice worth 24,999 gold pieces.
MATT: All right, how would you like to wish for this?
SAM: How would I like to wish for this?
MATT: Yes.
SAM: Oh boy. I will sing a song. I will sing-- fuck. (like Cher)
- ♪ If you believe in life after gnome ♪
- (echoing) ♪ after gnome, after gnome ♪
- ♪ I can see something so pure and clean ♪
- ♪ I really can't help but drink out of it oh ♪
ASHLEY: Keep going.
SAM: ♪ If you believe in life after gnome ♪
- (echoing) ♪ After gnome, after gnome ♪
That's it.
MATT: Okay, as you visualize in your mind, the 24,999 gold piece bowl, you guys watch, apparating within Scanlan's hand, this bowl of solid platinum that is encrusted with diamonds, like jam-packed. We're talking like the gaudiest of rhinestone iPad or iPhone covers, just bejeweled all over. It's grotesque.
SAM: With a little clockwork piece where if you-- (click) it can extend to have a little stem to it.
MATT: There you go, yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Pop me off one of those jewels, Scanlan.
LIAM: Like a collapsing retractable cup?
SAM: Yeah, it's like a bowl, but then you can make it into a wine glass and then inside are all our faces etched.
TALIESIN: You got it on Sky Mall. It's a bowl you got on Sky Mall.
SAM: Yeah.
LIAM: Can't we just wish for boxed wine?
LAURA: Seriously. Give me one of those jewels. Pop it out.
SAM: Then it would only be worth 24,989. Sure. Here you go. Stick it in Lieve'tel's head. All right, let's drink.
MATT: All right, so are you guys taking a night's rest?
MARISHA: Heroes' Feast and then night's rest.
MATT: Okay, so who's casting Heroes' Feast?
ASHLEY: I'll cast it.
MATT: The feast is summoned, a beautiful spread of divinely crafted and conjured food, much like the spread upon this table, crackers and cinnamon rolls and cheeses and grapes and meats. It's delightful.
TRAVIS: Give me a grape.
SAM: I want that meat.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: As part of that, everyone becomes cured of all diseases and poisons.
LAURA: Yay.
MARISHA: Woo.
MATT: You're immune to poison and being frightened. You make all wisdom saving throws with advantage and, Pike, go ahead and roll 2d10 for everyone to increase their maximum hit points.
TRAVIS: Oh shit.
LAURA: Immune to poison and fear?
MATT: Correct.
SAM: Just wisdom saving throws.
LAURA: No, all saving throws.
MATT: No, wisdom saving throws.
LAURA: And death saves.
LIAM: Death saves, too.
MATT: And death saves. Wait.
ASHLEY: 12.
TRAVIS: What is it?
LAURA: And we get hit points?
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: No, no death saves, just wisdom saves.
LAURA: Oh really?
MATT: Yep.
LAURA: Okay.
LIAM: Beacon of Hope. We're confusing the chalice with Beacon of Hope.
MATT: Correct.
LAURA: Damn it. Okay, sorry about that.
MATT: It's okay.
LIAM: Give me that cracker!
LAURA: And we add how much to our hit points total?
ASHLEY: Ten total.
MATT: So ten hit points added to everyone's maximum hit point total for the next 24 hours.
LAURA: Woo!
SAM: Let's all sleep.
LAURA: Wait, are we turning into animals before we go to sleep so that we Keyleth saves a spell?
MARISHA: No, it's a concentration spell.
TALIESIN: Then no, nevermind.
MARISHA: Yeah.
SAM: Pike?
ASHLEY: Yes.
SAM: What-- (clears throat) what room will you be sleeping in t-tonight? In yours?
ASHLEY: Well, I was thinking so, but--
SAM: Okay, cool. I'll just have them run up some cold water for you.
ASHLEY: Thank you. You're sleeping in your room, right?
SAM: Yeah, my double wide, yeah.
ASHLEY: Your double wide? Mine's only a twin.
SAM: Everyone has a twin bed except for me, yes.
ASHLEY: Oh, you have the double wide?
SAM: The double wide in the shape of the heart, yes.
ASHLEY: I didn't realize it was in the shape of a heart.
SAM: It is. Yes, it is.
ASHLEY: Do you sleep like this or do you sleep in the middle of it?
SAM: I sleep whatever way suits me that night.
ASHLEY: All over it?
SAM: All over. Sometimes just near it. Sometimes I stand in the middle of the bed and just hop up and down a bunch.
(laughter)
ASHLEY: Can and I come in and just hop on it for a while?
SAM: You want to come in with me?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
SAM: All right, yes. It's a little tricky because it is a water bed.
ASHLEY: Oh.
SAM: It doesn't--doesn't have a lot of bounce to it, but if you time the waves, it'll fling you up.
TRAVIS: Sprain your ankle.
ASHLEY: I'll give it a try.
SAM: Yeah. We'll have a jumping on the bed party.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Are you jumping on the bed?
SAM: Uh huh.
TALIESIN: Question, did you take your armor off before getting on the water bed and jump on the bed?
SAM: Oh no.
TALIESIN: I feel as if that's relevant.
ASHLEY: I did.
TALIESIN: Oh, dammit.
MATT: Everyone's gotten comfortable.
LAURA: Come along, Mr. Bell. You're with me. Let me teach you the wisdom of the ages.
SAM: Oh, Jesus.
TRAVIS: Is that in reference to some sort of meditation--?
LIAM: I pull him by the beard to my room.
(laughter)
LAURA: Some people get frisky when they get brought back to life, you know. It happens.
LIAM: Stiffness.
TRAVIS: Minus three to all checks.
(laughter)
MATT: (southern accent) This is a house of sin. (laughter) Oh my. (laughter) All right, so as all of you retire to your evening, you guys have a water bed bouncing party.
ASHLEY: It's pretty cute.
MATT: Yeah. (laughter)
LAURA: You can say it. I rang his bell. It happened.
MATT: There you go.
LAURA: Ooh.
SAM: Nice. I like it.
TALIESIN: I'm just going to say the kids are gone. Just putting it out there.
MARISHA: I slowly back out of the room when Vex makes eye contact with me. (laughter) Sorry, I'm a slow eater. I'm going to go.
MATT: And Grog?
TRAVIS: What?
MATT: You just sleep on the floor like a dog?
TRAVIS: Fuck yeah. Where else would I be, man? Yeah.
LAURA: Your little sand training pit? Don't you love it down there?
TRAVIS: Oh yeah! There's a sand pit! I go find my favorite spot and I spin twice in a circle and then get--
ASHLEY: Aww. (laughter)
TRAVIS: That's comfy.
ASHLEY: Buddies. Oh, it's so good to be back.
MATT: All right, night's rest comes to you all. You awaken the next morning, fully healed, your spells restored, still under the effects of the Heroes' Feast. The day is yours. You all gather in the main central foyer chamber of the Magnificent Mansion, some well-rested, some not as much. You're now reduced to a minus three penalty to attacks, saving throws, and ability checks. Anything else you guys would like to do before you continue with your journey?
SAM: Just real quick, we're going to do the mouse thing?
TALIESIN: I'm going to get us off this tower.
LAURA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
SAM: All right.
TALIESIN: Then we'll--
LAURA: I'm going to cast Pass Without a Trace on you, dear, before we go. Just right before.
TALIESIN: Right.
LAURA: Will that stick if I cast Pass Without a Trace and then turn into a mouse?
MATT: Yeah, you're still concentrating on the spell.
LAURA: Okay. (clears throat)
TALIESIN: I'm going to peek out the door to see what it looks like out there.
MARISHA: Before we go to-- Okay, it's a long journey down. You're going to be pretty much by yourself. Don't fuck this up, okay?
TALIESIN: The worst thing I can do is just drop everybody off the side and you'll just turn into humans once you hit the ground and will just be in slight pain.
MARISHA: Well, all those hit points will carry over and I imagine the hit points of a mouse are about the same amount as the hit points of a goldfish so I don't want to potentially fuck that up.
TALIESIN: Perhaps a bag of sparrows or some such.
MARISHA: I'm going to... It takes a lot, but just let me--here. And I meditate and I'm going to cast my 9th-level spell and give Percy Foresight.
MATT: Oh shit.
SAM: Wow.
MARISHA: Which just lasts for eight hours.
TALIESIN: Oh, oh oh, brain freeze. Oh god, oh god.
LAURA: What did you just do to him?
TALIESIN: I don't know.
MARISHA: You might feel a little adrenaline rush, little light headed. You can't be surprised, you have an advantage on all attack rolls, ability checks, saving throws, and other creatures have disadvantage on attack rolls against you.
TALIESIN: What?
MATT: For the next eight hours.
LAURA: Whoa, that's amazing.
MATT: As Keyleth pulls her fingers away, you look towards her and, every moment, you're seeing two moments at once. You're seeing the moment you're in and a moment six seconds ahead of you.
TALIESIN: I know everything! (laughter)
MATT: It's a dual reality and, at first, it's really frightening and it takes a moment for you to focus.
TALIESIN: I don't even know how to process what you just did to me, but I'll figure it out.
MARISHA: You tap into, like, plant magic and there might be multiple timelines.
TALIESIN: I'm going to tap into the Player's Handbook is what I'm going to tap into. This will be mine for a minute.
ASHLEY: I'm going to throw something at the back of his head real quick.
MATT: All right, roll an attack at disadvantage.
ASHLEY: Oh, okay.
TRAVIS: Oh, Pike.
MATT: Add your strength modifier.
ASHLEY: Yep. Uh, six.
MATT: Six. What do you throw at him?
ASHLEY: A vase.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: I have intercept anyway so, yeah-- I can, yeah.
MATT: You throw the vase and he catches it in his hand.
ASHLEY: Dang it, you see everything. He knew it was coming.
TRAVIS: Are we attacking Percy now?
ASHLEY: No, I was just seeing if his Foresight was working.
TRAVIS: Fore--?
TALIESIN: Brilliant.
LAURA: --sight, darling. Foresight.
MARISHA: It gave him-- just enhanced his mind's eye. Sorry, did that hurt?
TALIESIN: No, it was-- I'm literally letting you do this because I know it's happening two seconds early. Just making that point.
TRAVIS: Let's go!
TALIESIN: Right.
LIAM: Wait, sorry, hold on, you've got a thing. Lieve'tel casts Death Ward on Vex.
LAURA: What was it?
LIAM: Just a bit of lint. Perfect now. You're Death Warded!
MATT: Death Warded, do it.
TALIESIN: All right.
LAURA: Death Ward.
TRAVIS: So what are we getting transformed into?
SAM: We're going to do mice.
TALIESIN: Or small sparrows, so that you can't technically fall.
TRAVIS: Oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, birdies.
TALIESIN: Some tiny birdies. You'll get flung around a bit, but at least you can dive down at a speed.
MARISHA: Are we all fine with being birds shoved in your pocket?
TRAVIS: Raise your hand if you're fine with being a bird.
LIAM: (coos)
TALIESIN: I mean, just on principle.
MARISHA: Okay. How does Sir Bertrand Bell feel?
TRAVIS: (as Bell) Aye!
MARISHA: I turn us all into Birds Machina.
MATT: Except for Percy.
MARISHA: Except for Percy, right.
LAURA: Oh wait, I cast Pass Without a Trace.
MATT: Okay, you cast Pass Without a Trace. Concentrating. You finish the spell. All of you revert into birds. Still inside the mansion, correct? You all flutter around and land across Percy's shoulders. He's got a little small gathering of sparrows.
MARISHA: They've all got a little bit different flavors. Scanlan and Pike are love birds.
LAURA: I got a little turquoise feather.
MARISHA: Yeah, you're like the little indigo buntings.
MATT: You can't talk. You're a bird. I'm a cardinal. You're a black canary.
MATT: Percy, what are you doing?
TALIESIN: I'm putting on my mask--
MARISHA: Grog's a pigeon.
TALIESIN: -- so I can see and not have things blind. I'm opening the door to look out.
MATT: Okay, you open the door. (wind whistling) Wind still blasting by.
TALIESIN: Everything look reasonable?
MATT: Make a perception check.
TALIESIN: With advantage.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh that's nice, 23.
MATT: Well, actually it would be a single roll.
TALIESIN: No, advantage.
MATT: Disadvantage because there's no light. You're looking into pure darkness.
TALIESIN: Oh, it's pure darkness?
MATT: Yes.
LAURA: Shit.
SAM: One more roll.
TALIESIN: 14.
MATT: 14. From what you can ascertain with the little bit of light that's coming out of the mansion door and in front of you, you can still see the front of the tower. It looks the same, but it is pitch black beyond. It is a lightless void space, from what you can ascertain. You and your arm filled with birds.
TALIESIN: They're all in the pockets.
MATT: So you've jammed a bunch of birds in your pockets and you're standing there looking out into darkness.
TALIESIN: I am going to just make a bloody break for the side of the wall.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: You can't see anything?
TALIESIN: Pretty much not.
LAURA: Do you have fire? Do you have anything to set on fire?
TALIESIN: I do, actually. What did I used to do for this? I have a thing.
LAURA: You have, like, a lantern. Don't you have a lantern with a--
MARISHA: Like a directional--
LAURA: Yeah, a directional lantern.
TALIESIN: I do.
LIAM: It is literally (pigeon cooing).
MATT: It's literally birds are in your pocket.
TALIESIN: I know, I do have a lantern. So I'm definitely trying to get it--
MATT: You bring out the lantern and you go bolting. As soon as you exit, your feet hit the stone floor at the top of the tower, you rush towards the edge where the wall that seemed to encompass the peak of the tower had crumbled forward. You step down, your feet touching the stones as you head--
TALIESIN: Full speed.
MATT: Full sprint.
TALIESIN: I'm going to try and give myself a little bit of unanticipated movement in an attempt to just be difficult to hit.
MATT: Right. The Foresight's going to help you on this because you are running through. It's disadvantage on the stealth check but you have advantage because of Foresight so it's a straight roll. Roll a stealth check.
LAURA: Plus ten.
TALIESIN: That's... 35.
MATT: Okay. Very quietly, you go running down the side. Your mask is pushed up into your face as both the blasting of the wind and the force in which you are piercing down the side vertically of Howler's Crag. You're having to bring one hand up to hold the straps in place so it doesn't end up being carried off. You can see the portions of your mask where the eyes are guarded by glass. The glass begins to (cracking) and crack from the sheer force of sand and dust that's hitting it, but it's keeping it. It's keeping. You're rushing down. Make a perception check with advantage.
TALIESIN: Natural 20. So that's... 29.
MATT: You come to a portion of the shelf where the rocks are very loose. You're running down and right as you're about to leap forward to place your foot at a place where the rock would not be able to sustain your weight and send you tumbling over the edge, you just dart to the left, and manage to catch a part of natural-- sorry, of carved stone that is jutting out from that side from some sort of structure that either has been absorbed by this tower or once existed there long before. Instead, you use that to kick off and continue piercing downward. You're now about a third down the side of the mountain, hearing all these birds inside your pockets. You guys are all being crushed and knocked around and it's not a pleasant experience.
TRAVIS: (hooting)
MARISHA: (bird call)
TALIESIN: Stop trying to help.
MARISHA: Look, Dagon has made some weird fucking noises.
TALIESIN: Has anything-- have I gotten a vibe of anything around?
MATT: You do because as you're looking down on one of the little-- there's a little outcropping and you can see two howlers that are currently curled up, one of them getting up and looking out and sniffing on the wind.
TALIESIN: I'm going to go away from that, then.
MATT: Yep, you rolled high enough stealth because you're maintaining your stealth. They don't seem to notice you as you pass by.
TALIESIN: I'm going to keep trying-- I'm going to try and, not necessarily-- now that I've got a movement going, I'm going to try and be more cautious rather than fast at this point. I'm going to keep a good speed, but I'm starting to, like, trade.
MATT: Okay. You make your way down two-thirds of the mountain side. Make another perception check, please.
TALIESIN: Not quite as well as last time, but that's okay. That's... 28.
MATT: 28. As you go rushing down, you leap off one ledge and right as your feet leave or are about to leave the edge of this cliff face, you look and see what is an opening. There is a drop that goes into a chamber inside. You don't see what's in the chamber. It's just pitch black from your vantage point. You only have a directional light. You manage to pull back, not quite peeling the last bit of the ball of your foot off of the stone and pull yourself back in, righting it, curving around the edge, manage to avoid plummeting into whatever chamber was below.
TRAVIS: Go in.
MATT: Fucking Foresight. You dart around and continue piercing down towards the base until, eventually, the fairly vertical decline begins to level off into a gradual leveling until eventually--
MARISHA: I can actually use this spell. It's nice.
MATT: Until eventually, you reach solid flat ground. You can see the various piercing bits of punched rock that are jutting out of the nearby elements of the crag and the cliffs that surround it.
TALIESIN: Is there cover anywhere around here?
MATT: There is cover, yeah.
TALIESIN: I'm going to run towards cover.
MATT: Okay. You dart over towards cover.
TALIESIN: I'm letting everyone know we're clear.
MATT: Okay, you all get jostled inside the pockets.
TALIESIN: We're moving birds from my pocket and placing them on the-- behind whatever stone we're covering.
MATT: Okay, which bird do you put there first?
TALIESIN: Keyleth.
MATT: Okay, you set Keyleth there. You set her down. The wind (whoosh) and just takes you. You're a tiny bird in a huge wind.
TALIESIN: I attempt catch her.
MATT: Attempt to catch her?
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: Go ahead and make a dexterity check with advantage.
LAURA: Oh god.
TALIESIN: That was terrible, wow. Nine.
LAURA: Oh!
MATT: You set Keyleth down and go back to your pocket. She just goes (wind whistling). You try and reach out and just nothing and her bird form, flapping wings out of control, just vanishes into the shadow.
MARISHA: What should I do?
LAURA and ASHLEY: Drop it.
MARISHA: Well--
MATT: You're being carried away and buffeted.
MARISHA: If I drop it, it drops all of us.
TRAVIS: Drop the shit. Look, he's rolling dice!
MARISHA: I drop it.
MATT: Okay, you drop the form, then plummet about ten feet hitting the ground and take five points of bludgeoning damage as you fall, bouncing a bit on the rock. Percy.
TALIESIN: My coat is ruined, isn't it?
MATT: Your coat is torn asunder as the rest of Vox Machina just Alien burst out of the front of the chest, thrusting you back against the stone that you're hiding from.
SAM: (yelling)
TALIESIN: (shushing)
LAURA: I was in his pants pocket, just putting that out there.
MATT: The pants are kind of ruined, too.
LIAM: Canon!
MATT: You can still wear them, the waist band is maintained, but you have a giant split along the front.
SAM: You're wearing Hulk pants now?
MATT: Yes. We have Hulk pants Percy with his-- three-armed, Hulk pants Percy with his--
LIAM: First, it was the butt flap. Now, it is the front flap.
TRAVIS: Can't keep those pants on.
TALIESIN: No pants Percy, goddamn it.
MATT: Eventually, Keyleth walks back, a little battered from the storm.
TALIESIN: Sorry.
MARISHA: I'm good. Just took the air out of me a little bit.
TALIESIN: No, it's all right.
MARISHA: I think you should lead.
SAM: Are we closer, Keyleth? Are we close?
MARISHA: Yeah, it's this way...?
MATT: Make a perception check based on the direction of Howler's Crag and where you were.
MARISHA: Oh! Fuck, my perception was great. 25.
MATT: 25.
MARISHA: No wait, 23.
MATT: Based on where Howler's Crag is, based on the direction where you've now exited and Percival, keeping very much in line where you placed or told him since you exited down, and you made your path pretty well, you have a very strong idea of the direction you're supposed to be traveling to, at least get in the ballpark of where your destination.
LAURA: Keyleth?
MARISHA: Yeah?
LAURA: Can you put up that windshield one more time?
MARISHA: Oh yeah!
TALIESIN: Thank you!
MATT: With that, the windshield back up. You guys have filtered in. You, for the first time, are really-- you got a little bit up there in the tower as well. Wind, sand, whatever. That's weird.
TRAVIS: That makes it a lot better. Man! You picked a weird vacation spot.
MARISHA: I really need those sock puppets.
TALIESIN: It really will help.
LIAM: I'm going to pull out the Rod of Alertness and walk towards the front next to Keyleth and lead the way.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) I feel like I have a good idea of where we're heading.
LAURA: Lead the way, Bertrand.
TRAVIS: No, no, I'm a team player. It's time for you to lead, Leyleth.
MARISHA: Wow. You know what? He believes in me as a leader, though. I'll take that. Yeah.
TRAVIS: I'm in a good mood this morning.
LAURA: [inaudible]
TRAVIS: Yes!
LIAM: I'm still going to look for danger.
MATT: Hmm?
LIAM: Still going to look for danger as we move forward.
MATT: Sure, you got it.
LIAM: With Guidance.
MATT: Go ahead and make your perception check.
LIAM: Which is at advantage because of the rod with Guidance with my negative three.
MATT: Yes.
LIAM: That was a 19 minus three. Gets me down to 16. Yeah, 16.
MATT: 16, okay. Do you guys have a light source currently or are you still going with Percy's lantern?
LIAM: Sorry, 26.
MATT: Okay. Do you guys have another light source or are you just still going off of the lantern of Percy's?
LIAM: Well, is it safe to, do you think?
TALIESIN: Probably not.
LAURA: I mean, that's what we did before, right?
MATT: No, you had Pike's finger on Light last time.
ASHLEY: Yes, we did.
MATT: Your call if you want to keep it.
TALIESIN: I'll keep using this for as long as we've got it, then. It's easy to douse and bring back up and it's a bit in containment.
MATT: Looking ahead, there's nothing immediately that sets off your interior alarms. Make a survival check if you don't mind, Keyleth.
MARISHA: Don't fuck me, Gil.
TALIESIN: (high-pitched) Ah!
MARISHA: 28.
MATT: Okay, great. So a few things. In keeping with the dust and the sand that pushes through and blasting you, you concentrate on your memory of the Scrying spell and the essence of your consciousness being pulled through and remembering that feeling and seeing the little bits of shadows, of masses that seemed to appear and pass you throughout the storm, you begin to recognize some of these shapes and know that you're on the right path. The first hour of traveling does go through, relatively uneventful. You do, however, Lieve'tel and Vex, you will notice this as well because of your passive perception being so high. You swear that you both feel like a rhythmic distant rumble, like a (rumbling).
LAURA: Do you feel that?
LIAM: Yes.
LAURA: Does it feel like the earth is shaking or something?
LIAM: Does it feel like it's coming toward us?
MATT: It's hard to tell. It's very faint.
LAURA: I put my ear to the ground.
MATT: Okay, make a perception check.
LAURA: 28.
MATT: 28. It's definitely moving, but you don't know if it's coming near or far from you. It just is present.
TALIESIN: Near! Far!
LAURA: There's something potentially underground. It's moving around. It's something living.
SAM: Well, let us know if it gets closer.
MATT: Okay, so you continue to listen or do you keep moving?
LAURA: Every 30 feet, I'll just give a little listen.
MARISHA: Do we all have Pass Without a Trace on us?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Pass Without a Trace lasts for?
LAURA: An hour.
MATT: An hour. So you have to recast it if you want to.
LAURA: I can do that. I'll recast it. Sure, why not?
MATT: Everyone make a stealth check for me, please. Two for you.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) Got it. (as Bertrand) You've got it.
ASHLEY: Piece of shit!
LAURA: Wait no, I've got to have my math wrong here.
TRAVIS: Bertrand rolled an 11--
MATT: Plus ten for Pass Without a Trace?
TRAVIS: 21 and Grog rolled a 31.
MATT: All right.
ASHLEY: Wow. So I rolled a two, but with all of everything, it brought me to 18.
SAM: Wow!
LAURA: Nice. 40.
TRAVIS: Four zero?
LIAM: 22.
MARISHA: 24.
TALIESIN: 32.
SAM: Natural 20, 33.
TALIESIN: Woo!
ASHLEY: Dang.
MATT: Continuing to move-- continuing to move along, it doesn't seem to be getting any further from you, which means either it's keeping in pace with you or it's just omnipresent. You're unable to really make it out.
LAURA: But it feels like it's moving?
MATT: I would say because of how high you rolled, I would say it does feel like it's moving, yes.
LAURA: Hmm, weird, this is weird. I don't like it.
TALIESIN: If it doesn't seem like it's getting any closer, but it doesn't seem like it's getting any further, but it sounds like it's moving, it means that we're probably being tracked.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) It's probably an oasis.
LAURA: Or maybe it's just hanging out next to us.
TRAVIS: I've heard about these.
TALIESIN: What is an oasis, Grog?
TRAVIS: You look in the distance and there's a beer garden and the closer you get, the beer turns to water and everybody cries.
TALIESIN: A beer or a beard?
TRAVIS: A beer garden. What did you think I said?
TALIESIN: Beer garden?
TRAVIS: Yeah. You've never heard of a beer garden before?
ASHLEY: You get close and everybody cries?
TRAVIS: Yeah, it's very sad.
ASHLEY: Oh, it's sad?
TRAVIS: Yeah, because you're like: "Beer! Ale! I'm so parched. It's the desert." Then you get there and it's just fucking water.
MARISHA: That's not an oasis. That's a mirage. That's what you're thinking of.
TRAVIS: Don't confuse yourself, love, these things are very complicated.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: As you're having this conversation, I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw. (groaning)
MARISHA: With advantage!
SAM: Oh, Pandemonium.
TALIESIN: Ew. Even with advantage-- Without advantage, it would've been awful.
SAM: 16 for me.
MATT: Saving throw, yes. 16. Percival?
TALIESIN: 11.
MATT: Keyleth?
MARISHA: 32.
MATT: Lieve'tel?
LIAM: 16.
LAURA: 18.
ASHLEY: 22.
TRAVIS: Bertrand rolled... a nine and Grog rolled a 15.
MATT: All right.
SAM: Did Bertrand just die?
MATT: The maddening winds, the maddening winds of Pandemonium continue to buffet you from all sides as you progress towards your destination. All of you manage to keep it at bay except for once again, Bertrand Bell takes a point of exhaustion.
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Not a problem.
MATT: Adding it to the points you already had, I believe. No, you did lose one from the night of long rest, so you just gain it back.
LIAM: Almost a full night. Thank you.
TALIESIN: Ah!
LAURA: Ah-ha.
TALIESIN: (sarcastic laughter)
SAM: Yeah!
TRAVIS: One point.
SAM: Fucking!
TRAVIS: So one point.
SAM: Because you be fucking.
MATT: Keyleth, could you make another survival check for me, please?
MARISHA: Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
TALIESIN: Oh!
MARISHA: 27.
MATT: 27. Great.
MARISHA: 15 plus 12.
MATT: That's wonderful. All right. Partway into your second hour of heading towards your destination, Keyleth leading you forward, you guys begin to see on the outskirts with a bit of light that Percival is pushing forward with his directed lantern. You see branches and eventually as you stop and pull forward, there is a massive tree here in the middle of Pandemonium's ground.
MARISHA: Did I see that when I Scryed?
MATT: No.
MARISHA: Oh, okay.
MATT: At least, the shape moved by too fast.
LAURA: Hey, there's a tree.
MARISHA: There is.
LAURA: We can Travel Via Plants or something.
MARISHA: Not between planes.
LAURA: Shit, never mind.
MARISHA: But if we find another tree, we can get back to this one.
TALIESIN: We sure that's a tree?
MARISHA: I don't know.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) What do you mean?
TALIESIN: Why would there be a tree in Pandemonium?
LAURA: Huh, wait, no, that's stupid.
TALIESIN: What?
LAURA: I was just wondering if this was where we fought the wolfy things because trees grow from shit now--
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) I'm quite familiar with the foliage here in Pandemonium. I can tell you it is just a tree, nothing more.
LAURA: What does the tree look like?
MATT: It appears to be slightly patinaed, as it was made from iron and then, over time, had gained a teal type of slow growth over it. It looks solid and unearthly. It is very large, probably 50 feet high, from what you can guess from the way it rises up.
SAM: That's a normal tree!
MATT: You also see amongst its leafless, its leafless branches, a dozen or so ovoid-like black fruit that are attached and hanging from the iron-like branches that look smooth and somewhat shimmering up between the patinaed elements that have gathered.
LAURA: How many oval thingies?
MATT: About a dozen.
LIAM: Holding the rod up. Are those little thingies moving or is the tree moving at all?
MATT: The tree is occasionally swaying with the wind that is battering it but it seems to be holding tightly--
TALIESIN: Fruits as well sort of swinging appropriately?
MATT: Swinging a little bit, yeah.
TALIESIN: There's nothing weird about its movement?
MATT: Not from what you can tell. Make a perception check if you want to--
LAURA: Does the fruit look like it's iron as well? Is the fruit patinaed or does it look organic?
MATT: The fruit-- if you get a little closer and look towards it, the texture appears to be like hammered metal. They are pitch black, matte. There is no shine to them like the rest of the tree, but they have divots on them like they're hammered metal, a textured--
TALIESIN: 21.
MATT: 21. The movement of the tree seems to be purely based on resisting the wind and then bouncing back to its original position. There's no autonomic movement, beyond what the wind is causing.
LIAM: Going to use the rod to first cast Detect Evil and then Detect Magic, which it can do limitlessly.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: You have a rod that can do all those things?
LIAM: I do. It was hard to come by. (wave vibrations)
MATT: You guys still have Vestiges. That's what she has. The Detect Magic-- there is definitely a magical essence throughout the entire tree and each of the fruit pieces.
LIAM: Is it evil?
MATT: Evil? You get no sense of evil from it.
TALIESIN: Eatable tree.
LAURA: Ooh! Get one of those eggs.
SAM: Get one of those eggs?
LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Use your hand and get the eggs.
TRAVIS: No need for that, please. I am well studied in the removal of such fruit from a tree of this nature. Please, it would be my great honor.
SAM: All right, shimmy on up there.
TRAVIS: Now?
SAM: Yes.
LAURA: Sure, go.
TRAVIS: Not on the way back after the deed is done?
LAURA: No, right now. It could be useful.
ASHLEY: Especially since you know the trees and the foliage of this area so well. You might even have an advantage.
TRAVIS: Probably. Off I go to the tree.
MATT: All right, so Sir Bertrand Bell, You approach the tree. The light source is not shifting, so as you approach, it still is mostly dark and shaded. You can see the wind and the dust just arcing past. You're having to wince your eyes a bit to keep it from blasting into your eyes. Looking up, it's just ominous and the leafless branches scrape against themselves occasionally giving this awful (creaking).
TRAVIS: Don't look at it!
TALIESIN: It's so hard for the tree to be ominous entirely by itself.
TRAVIS: I take out the Gambler's Blade and I move forward to the nearest piece of low-hanging, dented fruit.
MATT: It's about seven feet above you.
TRAVIS: Fuck!
MATT: With a leap and a strike, you could try and cut it free.
TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, I'm going to try a leap and a strike.
MATT: All right, go ahead and make an attack roll.
TRAVIS: No, we're great, 17.
LAURA: Bertrand can't die. He's a--
MATT: You manage to strike once right where the fruit has about an inch or so of stem that it dangles from the branch. You deftly cut through. It does resist more than you expect it. You've cut thin bits of wood and branch with blades since you were a child. That's half of your pastime. There was a little more resistance to it and a bit of a metallic impact that you weren't expecting. However, the fruit does come loose and begin to fall.
TRAVIS: Oh, I'll try and catch it.
MATT: All right, roll a strength saving throw-- sorry, dexterity save.
TRAVIS: Dexterity.
MATT: I don't know what's going on over there.
TRAVIS: 18.
MATT: 18. You catch it, no issue. It's heavier than you expected.
TRAVIS: Or like I expected.
MATT: There you go. It's about that large. It's about--
TRAVIS: Is it warm, cold?
MATT: It's cold. It's cold to the touch. It feels metallic.
ASHLEY: Should you try it?
TRAVIS: Hold on, I'm ripening the fruit. Does it make any sound?
LAURA: Knock on it.
MATT: Make a perception check.
TRAVIS: Three.
MATT: It does not seem to make any sound. It appears to be fairly stiff.
TRAVIS: Yep. Well, the deed is done and I'll walk it back over to the group.
MATT: Okay, Bertrand Bell returns with one of the fruits of whatever tree this may be.
TRAVIS: Oh, much better inside this wind wall you're making. Very impressive. Fruit, as promised. Remember to leave it in my Yelp review.
LAURA: Knock, knock, knock, knock. Does it make a metal sound?
MATT: It doesn't make a metal sound. It just makes a very hard shell sound. It sounds like you're hitting hard wood.
LAURA: (knocking) It sounds like that?
MATT: Kind of, but solid and thick.
TRAVIS: Is it a solid piece or are there any seams, organic or otherwise?
MATT: No seams.
ASHLEY: Hello?
LAURA: Lick it.
SAM: Shall we smash it on the ground?
LAURA: Somebody lick it.
SAM: We're not going to lick it.
TRAVIS: What do you mean lick it?
LAURA: Lick the fruit.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) I'll grab it (slurps).
MATT: Very dusty. Your tongue is just caked in the sands and dust that rock it and buffet this side of Pandemonium.
TRAVIS: It's not a flavorful fruit.
SAM: Smash it. Just smash it, Grog. Smash it with your ax or your hammer or your hands.
TRAVIS: Fuck you, fruit.
MATT: As Grog slams the fruit onto the ground, the hard stone floor, it cracks open into four separate pieces. For the hard exterior of it, the inside is a deep, deep crimson fleshy fruit, like a bright, watermelon-esque but thicker and slightly striated. It doesn't look pleasant. It kind of resembles meat, which is off putting for a fruit. It's wet, but not a large amount of juice is expelled upon it cracking.
LAURA: Does it smell like meat?
MATT: Do you want to go ahead and smell it?
TRAVIS: Is it, like, bloody?
MATT: It has an iron-like smell to it.
LAURA: Oh my god, what if this was souls? What if this was somebody's soul?
TRAVIS: What are you talking about?
SAM: It's probably a body, not soul. It's blood.
TALIESIN: Or it's something that's going to attract whatever it as that was making the vibration noise. Are we still hearing that thing?
MATT: Make a perception check.
LAURA: Oh no, with advantage? I can't remember why I had advantage to begin with. No? Okay, cool. Perception, 27.
MARISHA: Ooh. (slow rumbling steps)
LAURA: Does that mean it's getting closer?
MATT: It's getting every so faintly louder.
LAURA: It's getting louder, it's getting louder, it's getting louder. It's coming.
TRAVIS: Maybe we leave this here and move. Now.
LAURA: Yeah. I grab a little chunk of it, though.
TRAVIS: Why?
LAURA: I just want to know what it is. Should I touch it? Should I touch it? Maybe I shouldn't touch it.
SAM: Touch it. Touch the meat. Resistance.
LAURA: I touch it.
MATT: It's kind of fleshy. It feels like a very fleshy fruit.
LAURA: I take it and put it in the Bag of Colding. Okay, let's go.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Let's pick up pace, yeah?
MATT: Okay, so new stealth checks from everybody. You have to cast Pass Without a Trace again, if you'd like.
MARISHA: I can do it if you--
LAURA: It's my, oh yes, I'm out of second levels.
LIAM: Guidance.
MARISHA: Pass Without a Trace from me.
SAM: We get Pass Without? 15.
TALIESIN: Whoa, really? 26.
MARISHA: 30.
LIAM: 23.
LAURA: 39.
ASHLEY: 30.
TRAVIS: Bertrand rolled a 36. Grog rolled a one.
MATT: A natural one?
LIAM: Bye bye, you guys!
MATT: That's okay. As you guys crest on forward into the storm in the direction of which Keyleth is running, with the new Pass Without a Trace, I'm going to need everyone also make another wisdom saving throw with advantage.
TRAVIS: With advantage?
LAURA: Oh, that was the advantage I was thinking of.
MATT: Yeah, because of the Heroes' Feast.
SAM: 16 again.
MARISHA: Oh goodness, thank god. I rolled a one.
TALIESIN: 22.
MARISHA: 28.
LIAM: Oof. It's 15 for me.
MATT: All right. Vex?
LAURA: 19.
MATT: All right.
ASHLEY: 25.
TRAVIS: (muffled) 17 for Bertrand Bell and seven, no-- seven for Grog.
MATT: All right. As the maddening winds now start taking their toll on Grog, new to this experience of Pandemonium, beginning to be worn down by the incessant howl that grinds its way into his ears and his eyes and his senses, Grog takes a point of exhaustion.
TRAVIS: That's a nine. Still.
MATT: All right.
TRAVIS: It was actually a nine. That still fails, right?
MATT: Nine still fails. DC is ten.
TRAVIS: I can't see the dot sometimes, but it's there.
MATT: All right. Could you make another nature check, Keyleth, as you're leading the group?
MARISHA: Nature or survival?
MATT: Sorry, survival, thank you.
MARISHA: 25.
MATT: 25, great. Continuing into the third hour of this journey towards your destination, keeping tabs that heavy sound you're listening for as you, every now and then, take a moment to stop. It seems to be keeping in pace with your movement. So it's not getting closer--
MARISHA: But it's following us?
MATT: It seems to be maintaining its pursuit.
LAURA: What the shit is this thing?
TRAVIS: You had to put it in the bag.
LAURA: It was already following us.
MATT: You see something that you briefly saw in your vision, which tells you that you're still on the right track and keeps you oriented. As you point it out, you guys see a partially-buried statue. 12 feet tall, with as much of it is exposed, it's probably much taller. Close to 25 to 30 feet total. From what you can see, it's about 12 to 15 feet of it exposed at an angle. It's sand blasted, but still maintains most of its form without issue. It appears to be made of hard metal. The body is that of a robed female. Her head is wreathed like a lion in blades, just swords coming out like a jagged sunflower with some of them forming a subtle crown upon her brow before emitting outward.
TALIESIN: Does that look familiar at all?
MATT: You can make an arcana check.
SAM: May I as well?
MATT: You may.
TRAVIS: 350 roll checks.
SAM: One.
TALIESIN: Arcana or history?
MATT: This would be arcana.
TALIESIN: Okay, that's fine.
TRAVIS: Any idea who that is?
TALIESIN: 18.
MATT: 18. Anybody else with arcana?
LIAM: Yes, yes I will.
TRAVIS: Yeah, you.
LIAM: Guidance, which just cancels out my exhaustion.
MATT: You have advantage on that as well, Percy.
SAM: He did.
LIAM: Ooh, terrible. No, it's balls totals. I just rolled balls, but I would like to use the rod to Detect Magic, Detect Evil.
LAURA: It's not total balls.
LIAM: It's pretty balls. It's minus three, so that's down to two plus four is six.
LAURA: Plus eight.
LIAM: So it's 14. That's balls.
LAURA: Total balls.
MATT: None of you are able to recognize the iconography of this statue, where it hails from, what it means, what this female figure is.
ASHLEY: Bertrand.
TRAVIS: Yes, my love, how may I assist?
ASHLEY: Does she look familiar to you?
TRAVIS: Ah yes, the blade queen. Storied female figure.
SAM: What were the stories?
TRAVIS: They are too long for the time we have, my friend. I'm sorry, we are on a schedule.
SAM: Blade queen, eh?
TRAVIS: Yes.
SAM: A positive figure of good or...?
TRAVIS: She has blades around her head. Do you think that's positive?
SAM: It depends, depends.
TRAVIS: My friend, that's a negatory.
SAM: All right. But if someone was throwing a bunch of envelopes at her and she needed to open them all, she'd just have to do her taxes or something.
TRAVIS: That is a preposterous situation.
SAM: All right, you're right. I'm just shitting on you.
MATT: Lieve'tel, while they're having this conversation, the statue is not magical nor is there an evil presence from it. You're just unable to ascertain the nature and significance of it.
MARISHA: Cool. Keep going?
TALIESIN: Are there any other landmarks as we walk past?
MATT: Right now around you, it's just a singular statue sitting out of the sand at an odd angle.
ASHLEY: I'm going to give it a check, too. Nope.
SAM: Can we feel around it for traps or anything?
TRAVIS: (as Grog) Well, let's go see what it's made out of, at least. It's pretty unique.
SAM: Keyleth, are we going the right way still? Is it past the statue?
MARISHA: Uh-huh, it's just beyond this, kind of saw this.
TALIESIN: Can I identify the type of metal based off of the coloration of the rust?
MATT: Make an intelligence check.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MARISHA: It is kind of nice that we're getting in a little bit of sightseeing on this journey.
SAM: That's true, that's true. Normally when we go to a place--
TALIESIN: 18.
SAM: -- we just do our job and then leave.
TALIESIN: What does that mean?
LAURA: Plus four.
LIAM: Plus 1d4.
TALIESIN: Oh, plus 1d4. I'll count it.
LAURA: No, that shouldn't count. Reroll it.
TALIESIN: 21.
MATT: Okay. It appears to be a steel alloy.
TALIESIN: It's a steel alloy of some sort.
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Ah yes. Common amongst these lands in ancient times.
LAURA: Does it look like it's been here for a very long time? Does it look like its been hit with the wind?
MATT: It looks like it's been here for some time. It's not a recent discovery. The weathering and elements of erosion that are visible on something made of solid steel tells you that it's been here for quite some time.
TALIESIN: An appropriate material of a civilization that had perfected the art of swordmaking in the first place.
SAM: Well, is there any way to mark it or something in case it moves?
TRAVIS: (as Grog) You want to mark it?
SAM: No, but set a trap around it or something.
MATT: Make a perception check.
TRAVIS: I mean, we can mark it.
ASHLEY: Is she alive?
TALIESIN: It's very hard to move through this place.
LAURA: 33.
MARISHA: I hear that, yeah. (rumbling footsteps)
TALIESIN: Perhaps...
SAM: Closer?
MATT: It's getting closer.
SAM: All right, let's keep moving.
LAURA: It sounds like footsteps, like very large. Oh my god.
SAM: What?
LAURA: Whose son was that thing that we fought?
TRAVIS: We don't know.
TALIESIN: Everything is somebody's son.
LAURA: He was a god's son, wasn't he? He was something very large, a son. What if that is coming after us now?
SAM: He was a god. He could probably fly. He wouldn't walk.
LAURA: Probably you're right, you're right.
MARISHA: I forgot his name. I took notes and I don't have my notebook.
LAURA: Let's just keep walking.
MATT: Nobody cast Legend Lore or anything, so you didn't learn a lot of information beyond just what I said as part of the narrative. So you're not actually certain other than the fact that whatever you fought would've had some lineage of some very powerful celestial entity--
LAURA: He was yelling about his dad.
MATT: Yeah. There was some sort of a paternal figure that it was shouting into the wind against.
TRAVIS: Of godly origination.
LAURA: Who doesn't have daddy issues?
MARISHA: ♪ Daddy wasn't there. ♪ Sorry, keep going.
MATT: It's all right. You continue moving forward. I need you all have to make another wisdom check, please.
ASHLEY: Still the saving throw?
MATT: Still the saving throw.
LAURA: With advantage.
SAM: 15.
TALIESIN: Natural 20.
MATT: Nice.
MARISHA: 34.
MATT: All right, Lieve'tel?
LIAM: Hold on, 16-- I've got lot of things to add. Plus 16, plus 20-- this is a wisdom?
MATT: Yes.
LIAM: Then 31.
MATT: 31.
LAURA: 14.
ASHLEY: 25.
MATT: 25.
TRAVIS: Grog rolled a natural 19. Bertrand Bell rolled a seven.
MATT: Bertrand Bell gets another point of exhaustion. How many points does Bertrand Bell have?
TRAVIS: That is two.
MATT: Two, speed is halved for Bertrand Bell.
TALIESIN: Put him on the bear.
LAURA: Speaking of the bear, should I have been making wisdom saving throws for Trinket?
TALIESIN: I assumed Trinket was in the necklace.
LAURA: Well, I could say he was.
MATT: Sure, Trinket was in your necklace.
LAURA: I'll pop him out now so Bertrand can ride on him.
TRAVIS: Why? His speed's only 15. (laughs)
LAURA: I know, that's what I mean.
TRAVIS: Oh god, thank god this bear is here. I'm so tired. Is it sand we're walking in? You guys go ahead. I'll guide from up here.
LAURA: Just maybe take a nap or something.
TRAVIS: Okay. (snoring)
LIAM: I'm going to in this moment attempt to use Divine Intervention and ask the Raven Queen what we're in danger of? What is going on?
MARISHA: Oh shit.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: While you're talking to her, let her know she's a fucking bitch.
TRAVIS: Hey, maybe not before the request.
LAURA: Sorry.
LIAM: Zero. Six. So it works.
MATT: That succeeds.
MARISHA: Oh my god!
TRAVIS: Wow.
MATT: As you reach up and clasp your clerical symbol, the small porcelain face of the Raven Queen, wreathed in black feathers that you keep hidden within your armor, you close your eyes and look outward, out towards the storm in the direction where you came from. The sand that blows by stops becoming sand. It's black feathers. (fluttering) All of a sudden, you are engulfed, all of you in a storm of loose black feathers that are just battering into you across your face. It tickles, it feels strange, it's alien and unfamiliar. The temperature drops about 20 degrees at the same time and you, Lieve'tel, you watch as the feathers begin to part in front of you as part of this vision that is granted to you. None of the other see this, just the feathers. The feathers part further and further past the tree and then just beyond the boundary of the tree, you see something massive storming in your direction. It looks like it's made of solid sandstone, dull and gray, its eyes burning bright green, elemental in form, made up of seemingly the elements of Pandemonium itself brought into a physical form. As each foot fall extends, probably a 20-foot, 25 foot-gait. (rumbling footsteps) As it approaches the tree, you watch its body tear apart. As the body breaks, it turns into a whirling tornado of the dust and sand that was once forming its physical body. As it tears through the tree, two of the fruit are ripped off of its branches. As it bursts through its boughs, some of the tree's metallic branches (creaking) bend inward from the force as the sand scatters past. It all reforms once more into its full elemental form.
LIAM: Could we say that this is here upon us now?
MATT: It's a ways away, but it's making its way in your direction.
MARISHA: So run?
MATT: It's going at a speed that is quite a bit faster than any of you've been moving. But it's a ways out, but it's gaining.
LAURA: Is it at the tree already or was that a vision?
TRAVIS: Only Lieve'tel sees it.
LAURA: I know, I know, I was (gibberish).
LIAM: I start blurting out to the group what I've seen. I pull out the rod and I'm ready to jam it into the ground if we are staying here. Are we running or are we making a stand?
LAURA: Why would we want to fucking fight a titan?
TRAVIS: Running, running.
TALIESIN: If we get the fort back, we don't have to fight anything. So we find our way to our things.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) What does your rod do?
LIAM: It improves our chances.
TRAVIS: Oh yeah, let's keep running. We'll use it as a last resort.
LAURA: Hey, while we're running, can anyone look at this fruit and see if it does anything? Look at the fruit. Who can do this?
SAM: I'll look at it.
MATT: All right, make a nature check.
SAM: A nature check. Yeah, nothing.
MARISHA: Can I try?
MATT: You can.
SAM: 13.
MATT: 13, yep, no idea.
MARISHA: I'll make a nature check.
TALIESIN: Oh!
MARISHA: Mm-hmm, 27.
MATT: 27. I'll say... you've heard of this. You've heard of it. It does not exist on Exandria. But you've heard the term pother fruit.
MARISHA: Paw-- paw--
MATT: Pother fruit. The only thing you can recall about it is it's used in-- it has been used in the past in extensive vision quests, but rarely and usually in very intense ancient rituals. It's been out of practice for a very long time.
MARISHA: Kay.
LAURA: (whispering) I really want to eat it, though.
SAM: Maybe we can feed it to the thing and it will go away and go on a vision quest.
MARISHA: That's true.
TALIESIN: It just ate two of them.
LAURA: It didn't eat two of them.
MARISHA: They flung out.
TRAVIS: Can we run now?
SAM: Yes, let's run.
LAURA: We're doing it as we're running. We're looking at the fruit.
MATT: You're all shouting through the storm at each other. All right. Pushing on for this last bit, eventually you begin to see the familiar site of the large exterior of this sand-sundered citadel that lies out here, the one in your scrying vision. You can see elements of the walls--
LAURA: This fucking heart pounding is creeping me the fuck out.
MARISHA: I know, I know.
ASHLEY: Me, too.
MATT: It curves inward slightly, but most of the roof has been worn away. It is a series of low and high walls. It seems like the thing has been slowly dissolving over time. You just see through the bit of storm and light that you have just the dark shapes. You come upon one of them and the metallic surface in the outside is pitch black metal. When your light goes across, it has a very faint greenish sheen across it.
MARISHA: This is it. We're almost there.
TRAVIS: Any way inside?
MARISHA: I don't know. He's around here tucked in under one of these collapsed caverns.
SAM: Are there any doors or entrances?
MATT: The walls are down and open. You can literally just walk in from multiple sides.
TALIESIN: Best be careful.
MATT: It's the skeletal remains of what was once a citadel made of this black metal, but most of it has eroded away in time and now it's just sections of its base walls and some element of a secondary floor that still remain.
LAURA: I'm going to cast Locate Object.
MATT: All right, what are you casting it on?
LAURA: On the... tuning fork.
MATT: The tuning fork?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead--
LAURA: Within 1,000 feet of me. Yeah.
MATT: Okay. You cast the spell and you feel the spell draw and tug your attention at an angle away from where you're standing behind this one corner wall.
LAURA: So there.
MATT: The wind is so strong here that you cannot see past a certain distance. So make a perception check with a disadvantage to even make out--
MARISHA: Even with the--
MATT: Your wind guide's just around you. It's like a shield right in front of you. The storm is dense.
LAURA: 23.
MATT: 23 with disadvantage.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Okay. You step around the outside wall--
LAURA: I've got 15 perception.
TRAVIS: That's amazing.
MATT: It's pretty good. Level 20. You glance around the side, where part of the wall crumbles and you can see within what is visible detail-wise. This central plain with cracked elements of the marble floors that were once this beautiful citadel. You can see pillars that stand tall, one that is toppled over across and to the left of you. The direction it's pulling you towards is in the far corner opposite side, where that secondary floor is looming above. You can see rubble across it and jars and a box and things up on the second floor faintly. You can see below it in that direction there is a bookcase. You can see a desk to the left of it and there, sitting in the chair, is a figure currently writing that stops--
LAURA: Fucking Bob.
MATT: --and goes (sniffing).
LAURA: I duck.
MATT: (sniffing) Starts rummaging through the desk and pulls something out and holds it in front of his face. I want everyone to make a stealth check.
LAURA: Does our Pass Without a Trace-- is it still up?
MATT: No, it is faded.
TRAVIS: Do we have a Hold Gith-zanky or whatever? Is it a Gith-zanky?
MATT: Githzerai.
MARISHA: Natural 20.
MATT: Nice.
TRAVIS: Do we have Pass Without a Trace up?
MATT: You do not.
LAURA: No, not anymore.
SAM: 18.
MARISHA: 28. Yeah, total.
MATT: Percy?
TALIESIN: 20.
LIAM: 19.
LAURA: 26.
ASHLEY: 21.
SAM: Wow.
TRAVIS: 14, 26.
MATT: Not bad rolls, guys.
LAURA: Do I roll for Trinket?
MATT: Yes. Not bad rolls, guys.
TALIESIN: Do we all get a bonus from you or no?
TRAVIS: I'm sorry, I didn't roll at disadvantage. I'll make this Grog and this one Bertrand. Hey, those are fucking better. No worries, those are the low ones. That's amazing.
LAURA: I rolled 14 for Trinket. I don't know what I add. I don't think I had anything.
MATT: No worries.
ASHLEY: He's rummaging.
SAM: He's rummaging through his desk just like Bob.
LAURA: Fucking Bob. I know they should have some. I feel like we've stolen all of this.
MATT: As he walks a few steps away from the desk, his voice carries past the wind. "You've returned."
ASHLEY: Oh no.
MATT: "I can hear you. Nothing?"
LAURA: Should we say something?
SAM: Yes, we've returned! We've returned to get our stuff, Bob.
MATT: "What? You gave me presents." Takes the gem away.
SAM: Presents?
MATT: "I asked for presents and you gave them to me."
SAM: I don't recall that happening at all. Are you sure?
MATT: "I am positive of anything."
SAM: Do you guys remember this part of the conversation?
LAURA: I sort of remember something about presents, but then Keyleth gave you a fucking flowers or something. That was enough, right?
ASHLEY: It didn't mean that you could take things that we didn't give you.
TRAVIS: Yeah, tell 'em.
ASHLEY: (faltering) Uh, you know?
(laughing)
ASHLEY: You took stuff that you shouldn't have taken.
MATT: "Nothing was taken. It was gifted."
SAM: I think I see what's going on. This is just a misunderstanding. If we could have our items back, perhaps we could give you some money for them?
MATT: "What? Have it back? No! I need them."
SAM: May we approach?
MATT: "Maybe."
SAM: We're going to take that as a yes, since you took our offer of presents as a yes. So I'll start walking towards Bob.
TRAVIS: Go get 'em.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Yeah, I'll follow.
ASHLEY: Same.
MATT: So you guys take steps. You guys take a couple steps. As you do, you watch the back wall. There is a similar sculpture of the same black metal, the green sheen across the back chamber that sits behind the desk. It's in the shape of a creature holding up the second floor, like a humanoid body. As you take steps, it (crashing) and takes two steps and stops when you stop. It stands about 15 feet tall and is made of the same black metal. You can see bits of rock and stone that cracked out of its arms as it dislodged itself from the back chamber wall.
MARISHA: Bob, Bob, summoned that guy?
MATT: It seemed to step forward without Bob doing anything, but as you begin to walk forward, it began to walk forward.
SAM: Easy Bob, it's all right, we're not going to cause you any harm. You can call off your friend.
MATT: "What do you mean to take back, then?"
TALIESIN: Honestly, if we're going to be fair, we're strangers in this place. We're having a very difficult day. There are matters of timing that we should probably all discuss.
LAURA: Why don't we all just sit down and have a nice cup of tea?
ASHLEY: Yeah!
MATT: "You bring tea presents?"
TRAVIS: (as Grog) Yeah, when was the last time you had, like, a nice snack and a nibble?
MATT: Thinks to himself. He's like, "A very long time."
TRAVIS: Well, that's what we should have, a proper tea party.
TALIESIN: Let's have a moment and have a discussion about a way for all of this to end agreeably for everybody.
MATT: Make a persuasion check.
LIAM: But quickly because you never know when guests may drop in.
TALIESIN: Oh that's awful. 11.
MATT: 11.
TALIESIN: There is a thing chasing us.
MATT: "Oh, the rolling danger. The thunder that comes, yes."
TALIESIN: It has a name?
MATT: "What do you think destroyed this citadel?"
TALIESIN: Bloody hell.
ASHLEY: Wonderful. What's that statue out front with the woman with the blades?
SAM: The Blade Queen.
ASHLEY: The Blade Queen?
MATT: "No, the Lady of Pain."
ASHLEY: The Lady of Pain?
MATT: "I remember that. I don't remember much, but I remember that."
TRAVIS: She has many names.
LAURA: Bob, do you remember how you told us you were going to give all of our stuff back?
MATT: "No!"
LAURA: You said that.
MATT: "You gave me presents and the presents are mine and I keep them! I need them."
SAM: Why do you need them? Could they be replaced with money or other presents?
MATT: "No, I've taken money. I need to go somewhere."
LAURA: Where do you need to go?
SAM: We can help you with that.
MATT: "Home."
SAM: What's home?
MATT: "I don't remember."
SAM: Oh boy.
TRAVIS: Do you remember the way it looked like or people that you miss or things you did?
MATT: "I came with more, but now it's just me. But I don't remember what they looked like."
SAM: Did they look like you?
MATT: "I don't know!"
SAM: Do we know anything just from his appearance about what his history might be?
MATT: Make an arcana check.
MARISHA: Come on, lore bard. Lord bard.
SAM: Arcana, 19.
MATT: The most you know about the githzerai is that they're an offshoot of the gith. There's the githyanki and the githzerai. They were once enslaved by the mind flayers across the plain, then eventually escaped enslavement. The githzerai went to Limbo and pursue more spiritual pursuits. Through the use of psychic capabilities and such, can manipulate matter on that plane. That's as much as you can recall with that roll.
SAM: I have some idea of where your people might have gone. To a place called Limbo. Does that sound familiar to you?
MATT: "A little."
(singing the tune of "Limbo Rock") (singing the tune of "Limbo Rock") (singing the tune of "Limbo Rock") (laughing and singing)
MATT: This got really weird.
(continue singing the tune "Limbo Rock") (continue singing the tune "Limbo Rock")
TRAVIS: (loud high-pitched laughter)
LIAM: The wind just (wind whistling).
MATT: "Thank you for your routine. It has been awhile since anyone has done any sort of performance."
TRAVIS: Sound of home.
ASHLEY: We could take you.
TRAVIS: Scanbo, don't you have the ability to make one incredible thing happen every day?
SAM: I do, I do.
TRAVIS: You wouldn't even need to know where he was from.
SAM: That's true. That's a bit of a risk, but one I'm willing to take if Bob is willing to take a risk and give us back our belongings. Bob, you with us, buddy?
MATT: "What? Hi."
SAM: What do you want more, to go home or to keep our belongings?
MATT: "To go home, but I need your things to go home, I believe. I've been categorizing and I think I've figured it out."
TALIESIN: You've been categorizing?
ASHLEY: How come?
MARISHA: What'd you figure out?
MATT: "I know that some of the pieces I need to go home. I forget how to go home, but I found the piece."
TALIESIN: Can we see the piece. perhaps or at least have you written it down? Can you show us what you wrote?
MATT: "I have."
TALIESIN: We're a bit pressed for time, so could you show us very quickly?
MATT: Make a persuasion check.
TALIESIN: Oh lord. That's better! That's a 24.
MATT: 24, he goes, "Stay there!" He backs away carefully a couple steps and then you watch him and he just vanishes and reappears elsewhere.
TALIESIN: Did he make a noise or did he say anything or was it just a teleport?
MATT: No, just blinked about 30 feet away.
LIAM: Further away?
MATT: Further away from you.
LIAM: Robert, we have not forgotten anything and if you give us our belongings back, we know how to help you get where you want to go.
MATT: He grabs a book. (rustling pages) "I found it!"
TALIESIN: May I?
LAURA: Percival's incredibly smart.
SAM: Yes, yes, let me look at it really quick.
MATT: "Not you! You."
TALIESIN: That'll do. In fact, that makes it better.
MATT: "Step forward. Everyone else stay where you are!"
TRAVIS: (as Grog) I can sit down right where I am.
SAM: ♪ Stay where you are! ♪
TALIESIN: Darling, could you just keep an ear to the ground?
MATT: His eyes are just darting all over the place. He doesn't really make eye contact very well.
LAURA: I'm on all fours with my ear to the ground
MATT: Persuasion check. Oh sorry, persuade that dirt to tell you what's up. Perception check, please.
TRAVIS: 500.
LAURA: 31.
MATT: 31. (fast, loud rumbling footsteps)
TALIESIN: Time is really running out. Fine, I'm going to hop on over. Hi.
MATT: "Hello."
TALIESIN: Time is running out and we could all leave here, if we just could convince you to trust us, please.
MATT: Looks up to the large golem made of this black metal, just (creaks) leans forward, this large blade dragging behind it. "Should we?"
MARISHA: (stage whispered) Say yes!
SAM: I don't think he can talk.
TALIESIN: I believe you asked: should we?
MATT: "Right. Perhaps. He likes you." And shows you the book. A language you do not understand scrawled everywhere and there are drawings and haphazard sketches and smiley faces and weird little designs. You do see one really, really nice sketch of a piece of metal that has been bound and bent to form into two additional pieces of metal.
TALIESIN: Do I know what this is?
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Is it minotaur? I speak minotaur.
TALIESIN: It's a tuning fork, isn't it?
MATT: Yeah.
TALIESIN: I think I can get you home.
MATT: "How? Tell me."
TALIESIN: We, in our possessions, have the necessary tools to, at the very least, bring you to where I believe you might be from. At the very least, we can bring you somewhere that isn't here and I guarantee that where we bring you is far better than this.
MATT: "I don't know. I kind of like it here."
SAM: Oh boy.
TALIESIN: Do you kind of like it here?
MATT: "No."
TALIESIN: Then why don't you come with us?
MATT: "Hmm." Takes a step back. "Maybe."
MARISHA: There are a lot more gifts where we're from.
MATT: "More gifts?"
MARISHA: We can give you more gifts if you just come with us and give us the stuff now--
TALIESIN: Not anything we have right now, but things at our home.
TRAVIS: (as Grog) Because if the rolling thunder gets here, the gifts are limited.
MATT: "I don't like limited gifts."
TALIESIN: No one likes limited gifts.
LAURA: Unlimited gifts if you just give us our shit. We'll take you to unlimited presents.
ASHLEY: And unlimited tuning forks.
MATT: "Promise on the gifts."
TALIESIN: Here is my promise. I promise that we will do everything in our power to get you home.
MATT: He leans really close to you. There should be eye contact, the pupils are doing everything but make contact with yours.
TALIESIN: I wish that I could show you just how generous this offer is.
MATT: "Okay."
TALIESIN: Okay?
MATT: "Okay."
TALIESIN: Can you show us our things, please?
MATT: "Maybe."
LAURA: Oh my god.
TALIESIN: Can I take that maybe as a yes?
MATT: "Yes."
TALIESIN: Excellent.
(crashing sound)
TALIESIN: Now would be the time!
MATT: A heavy impact blast as you watch--
TRAVIS: (yelling)
MATT: -- coming out of the shadow, this large, looming foot of condensed stone and dust, slam into the ground causing this immediate crater to crack into the Earth on the outskirts of the structure. Glancing over your shoulder, you can see now, its lower body is condensed and its stone upper body is still a swirling maelstrom of sand and rock and pebble as it forms back into its densed upper form. Its eyes burn with vibrant green energy. Flames seem to be shooting from the front as it angrily growls toward you. Soundlessly, this low guttural rumble just emits from it that quakes the ground around you. Watch stones rattle across the ground.
TALIESIN: What does it want?
LAURA: I shoot and I run. Just kidding, no.
LIAM: Plant the rod.
MATT: Right. We're going to go ahead and take a break and pick up from there to roll initiative.
LAURA: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: I almost threw up.
TALIESIN: Not okay.
MARISHA: We should just teleport away. We just need to teleport away.
LAURA: Let's teleport away.
MARISHA: It's one round, so one action where we just all have to hold hands.
LAURA: Got to get to the shit and just do it.
MARISHA: Hold hands, kumbaya.
TRAVIS: We'll talk about it after the break.
MATT: We will. All right. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. We're going to take a quick restroom break, snack break, and we'll be back here with whatever this encounter's going to be. All right, see you guys in a second.
TRAVIS: Oh shit!
Break[]
Part II[]
MATT: And welcome back. Back from our break, guys. We've placed ourselves amongst the battle map as to where you are. We have Bob right here with his large protector, which emerged from the back wall. Somewhere in the map in this vicinity of which you ascertain the direction, Vex'ahlia, seemed to have been the fork in question. Not entirely certain where the rest of your belongings are, if near it or not. But nevertheless, this--
TRAVIS: What the fuck is that? Are you crazy?
MATT: --just slammed through the space.
MARISHA: Oh yeah!
LAURA: Can I ask a question really fast?
MATT: Yes.
LAURA: Is my Locate Object still up?
MATT: It should be.
LAURA: It lasts for ten minutes.
MATT: As long as you hold your concentration, yes.
LAURA: So I would have a pretty good idea of where it is within the room then, wouldn't I?
MATT: You would say, yeah. Let me look up the spell real fast. And--! Question.
TRAVIS: Oh my god, that thing is fucking huge.
SAM: He's not that much bigger than the 15-foot thing.
TRAVIS: It's like a giant or a titan or a rock behemoth, but it's made of particles of dust. And dirt.
LAURA: Is it what's-his-face? Does he look friendly? I can't see his face.
MATT: Through the wind and dust that's blasting, you know it's this direction, like somewhere in this area.
LAURA: Can you see on the map, is there shit on the other side of that wall? I can't see. I guess we wouldn't see. It doesn't matter that I can't see because I can't see.
MATT: All right, so initiative everybody.
LIAM: Oh, your voice.
TALIESIN: We're going to roll advantage with initiative.
MATT: It is an ability check so, you do.
TALIESIN: Oh my god.
MARISHA: Yeah, all things pretty much.
TALIESIN: This is disturbing.
LIAM: Does this get affected by exhaustion?
MATT: It would, yes. It is an ability check.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: So, 25 to 20 or higher.
LAURA: 25.
TALIESIN: 25.
MATT: Ooh, look at that, the couple up front.
ASHLEY: ♪ In the year 2525 ♪
MATT: All right and 20 for Keyleth. All right. 20 to 15.
TRAVIS: Grog got an 18.
SAM: Wow, with disadvantage, that's amazing.
ASHLEY: I got a 16.
MATT: Oh shit!
LIAM: Who are you?
ASHLEY: I know!
TRAVIS: Why disadvantage?
SAM: You're exhausted.
TRAVIS: Oh wait, do I got to roll--?
MATT: All right, 15 to ten.
LIAM: 13.
SAM: 13.
TRAVIS: On one point of exhaustion, you roll a disadvantage on initiative?
MATT: Yep.
TRAVIS: Fuck.
MATT: All right. Ten to five.
TRAVIS: Bertrand rolled an 11.
LAURA: Wouldn't he roll like double disadvantage?
MATT: No such thing. It's just disadvantage.
LIAM: What about triple disadvantage, though?
TALIESIN: Yep, that's real, that's real.
MATT: All right, I think that's the full set there. Top of the combat round, we have Percy and Vex, what are you guys doing?
SAM: Yay, D&D!
TRAVIS: Shit, this is going to suck. I'm going to see it crash through the wall, I'm going to cast Hex on it, first of all.
MATT: All right, the creature is now hexed.
LIAM: The hex do you mean?
SAM: Oh, it's got a cute little bracelet.
TALIESIN: I'm going to use my action to--
SAM: Do that again. You got to keep doing that.
TALIESIN: And it's a GIF. I'm going to talk to Bob and I'm going to grab Bob by the shoulders. We really could use some help. Please help us. We have to deal with this. I'll be back. And I'm going to run into that corner. I'm going to get as far as I can into that corner to get away from this thing. Yeah, that's as far as I can--
MATT: As far as you can get there.
TALIESIN: There's no way to get cover from this thing.
MATT: You can get, like--
TALIESIN: Whatever cover I can get.
MATT: Not so much.
SAM: He doesn't have anything that he can throw at us. You'll be fine.
TALIESIN: Yes, darling.
LAURA: Oh me.
MATT: Is that your turn?
TALIESIN: That's my bonus, my action, and my, yeah.
LAURA: Okay. How's the wind in this area? Just as bad?
MATT: Strong.
LAURA: Okay, cool.
MATT: Not quite as bad as the top of the tower, but it's still bad. Where you're standing, it's a little rough. As soon as you get above five feet, it starts getting pretty rough.
LAURA: I'm going to take off running towards the corner where the Locate Object is. I'm going to follow my instincts.
MATT: All righty.
LAURA: Can I sense where it's coming from still?
MATT: You can sense the direction is probably this way and up a bit.
LAURA: Okay. Can I--
MARISHA: It's got to be up on the second floor.
LAURA: Can I kick up on my broom?
MATT: Sure, yeah. So you hop up onto your broom. And? You've used your movement, so you can use your action and dash if you want with your broom.
LAURA: Could I get up to the top and hop off the broom as soon as I'm up on a higher level?
MATT: We'll find out.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
LAURA: Okay, I'm going to try.
MATT: Okay, so you're up on the broom and you begin to coast your way upward. I need you to go ahead and-- - this be? Because this is trying to resist.
SAM: Don't lose your hat.
MATT: There is the hat aspect of it there. I would say this is trying to keep and maintain the direction of the broom against the wind that's pushing. So it would be an athletics check.
LAURA: Athletics. Great, not strength, but athletics. Just a regular old roll, athletics?
MATT: Yep.
LAURA: Oh, 19.
MATT: 19? You do manage to as you dash, get up and on top there.
LAURA: Yes!
SAM: Nice flying!
TRAVIS: Nicely done!
MATT: So that's your other action.
LAURA: Bonus action, I'm going to... (laughs) Hunter's Mark.
MATT: Hunter's Mark. What's the range on Hunter's Mark?
LAURA: What?
TALIESIN: It's been awhile.
MATT: ♪ It's been awhile ♪
ASHLEY: ♪ It's been awhile ♪
LAURA: Player's Handbook? Player's Handbook, anyone?
MATT: I got you, Hunter's Mark, 90 feet.
LAURA: 90 feet, 90 feet.
TALIESIN: He's got disadvantage on strength checks.
MATT: Sure.
TRAVIS: The big fuck?
LAURA: Dope.
MATT: Here we go.
LAURA: I'm going to have Trinket run and stand... next to... run towards my husband. Oh, Bertrand's still on his back.
MATT: Yeah, Bertrand's like (yelping).
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) This fucking horse is huge.
LAURA: Oh god.
TALIESIN: Hey, Boo Boo!
ASHLEY: Hey, Boo Boo!
LAURA: I can't duck? Can I crouch or something? Is there anything to hold onto?
MATT: You can drop prone, if you want.
LAURA: Can I what?
MATT: Drop prone.
LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to drop prone because ranged gets a disadvantage on prone.
MATT: You are correct. That ends your go. Keyleth, you're up.
MARISHA: I'm going to-- it's probably a little useless, but it might slow him down. I'm going to turn around, and I'm going to start backing up towards the direction of Vex and, as I'm backing up, I'm going to throw up a Wall of Stone in front of this guy and around this way and try and block him out for a minute.
MATT: Okay, we'll say using this as stone.
TALIESIN: Fortress of Solitude stone.
MARISHA: I back up and then I punch the ground with my fist and you just see--
MATT: Like there?
MARISHA: -- earth. Yeah.
MATT: Okay, cool.
MARISHA: How much-- Player's Handbook! Why do we only have one? We're a company built on D&D.
TALIESIN: What levels? I'm in cleric spells. Hold on.
MATT: I think it's a 4th-level, right? Wall of Stone?
MARISHA: Fifth.
MATT: 5th-level.
LIAM: Well-oiled machine, we are.
MATT: I know.
MARISHA: I just want to see how long it can be. It might be able to be longer, but we can keep going.
MATT: Okay. How far back are you going to move?
MARISHA: My movement towards the direction of Vex.
MATT: There you go.
LAURA: Ah man, okay, well--
LIAM: What's the spell? 5th-level.
LAURA: Try not to clump. How about we don't clump? How about, everyone, we don't clump?
MARISHA: Ten--
LAURA: (pigeon cooing)
MARISHA: Ten, ten-foot panels. So it can be 100-foot wall that I want to loop around and block him out as much as I can.
MATT: Loop around here you mean like--?
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Keyleth, don't clump.
MATT: She's already moved.
LAURA: Damn it.
MATT: All right, that finishes Keyleth's go?
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: All right, end of Keyleth's turn. It is Bob's turn. Bob turns and goes, "Right, the presents. Let me go look." He's going to head this way and start rummaging through his stuff in his desk and his shelves there for what you're asking about. That finishes his turn. Grog, you're up.
TRAVIS: Um, uh, y'all go find stuff, right? I'll sit here and guard the wall. I will about face.
LAURA: Oh god.
TRAVIS: I will smash through the-- no, I'm just kidding. Can I bang with my bonus action and use the Titanstone Knuckles?
MATT: Yes, you can. And I'm going to remember to go get that thing again. I'll be right back.
TRAVIS: Okay. Here's the Player's Handbook.
LIAM: Quick, just throw the big one off the table.
SAM: We don't have a sponsor tonight, guys. But here it goes.
TALIESIN: The sponsor is the power of friendship.
SAM: Thank you for all of the supporters.
TALIESIN: Yeah! Thank you guys so much here!
SAM: Thank you for supporting our Kickstarter and getting us to this point.
LAURA: We beat him!
SAM: Thanks for helping us raise (mumbles) dollars towards the amazing animated series and for unlocking this and many other stretch goals. Can't wait to see you in the DM chair, Ashley J.
ASHLEY: Boy, boy. (retching)
LAURA: You're going to be great. It's going to be great.
SAM: Have you ever done it before?
ASHLEY: Never in my life, and I am--
LIAM: It's going to be the best, then.
ASHLEY: -- terrified.
TALIESIN: Never have I ever.
ASHLEY: Yeah, just the best for your first time to DM to be on camera in front of a bunch of people.
TALIESIN: So we've got these wolves--
LIAM: I have found the internet to be a very forgiving place.
ASHLEY: Oh sure. Sure.
MARISHA and TALIESIN: The wolves at you.
MATT: [off-camera] The original one I used.
ASHLEY: It's okay.
SAM: Matt is just gone.
MATT: We're just making you into a-- sure, you'll be an ice giant for this one.
TALIESIN: For a moment, I thought that was a hockey player. I was so excited.
TRAVIS: Coming up in the world.
MATT: There you go. Bonus action.
TRAVIS: Yes, I will hold my-- I would like to rage.
MATT: You cannot. It's a bonus action to rage.
TRAVIS: So I will hold my attack for if the giant Kris Kringle gets in my attack range.
MATT: You got it. That ends your turn. Pike.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay. I can't do any spells unless I have my shit. So I'm going to move over to a little bit underneath where Vex is. See how far I can get over there.
MATT: 25. That's as far as you can get there.
ASHLEY: Oh, I'm all lopsided. Yeah, can I go more, can I go more to the just a little to the right? Yeah, just so I'm not lopsided. I know we're still clumped. And... oh boy.
TRAVIS: Oh boy, oh boy, yeah.
ASHLEY: Okay. That's going to be my move.
MATT: Yep, that's your move.
ASHLEY: I can't do anything yet.
MATT: Action, anything?
ASHLEY: That's my move.
MATT: You're not going to do an action?
ASHLEY: Yeah, that's really dumb.
MATT: I'm saying, you can cast a spell or you can use your action to move further. It's up to you.
LAURA: You could a buffing--
ASHLEY: But we don't have all of our stuff.
LAURA: Some things don't need-- that's only if it's a monetary--
MATT: Certain spells require monetary components. Most of them are things you'll have on you.
LAURA: Like Beacon of Hope doesn't need a monetary, does it?
TALIESIN: No.
MARISHA: You still have your focus.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll do Beacon of Hope. Sorry, I'm panicking. I'll cast Beacon of Hope.
MATT: All right. So you're choosing--
TALIESIN: We've all been there.
MATT: Okay. So Beacon of Hope. All right, any creatures within range, 30 feet of you. That would be Vex, Percy, Trinket, Bertrand, Keyleth, Scanlan, and yourself. So Lieve'tel is out. Grog is out.
ASHLEY: Sorry, Grog.
MATT: Actually, no, you can get Grog in the range, 30 feet.
TALIESIN: What does that give you?
MATT: Advantage on wisdom saving throws, which you already have, and death saving throws and you regain the max number of hit points possible from any healing you gain.
LAURA: That's good.
SAM: That lasts even if we leave that 30-foot radius?
MATT: Correct. It is concentration, so keep that in mind. That ends your turn, Pike?
ASHLEY: Yep.
MATT: End of your turn, it's going to use two legendary actions to shift form.
SAM: Shift form? But it's already so big and imposing.
MARISHA: Oh, damn it.
LAURA: Oh shit.
SAM: What's it becoming?
TRAVIS: Oh no. Nope, that is not cool.
LAURA: (lisping) He is a cyclone. He is a cyclone.
MATT: You watch as the hardened dust form cracks and turns to a cyclone of dust. It (wind whistling). How tall is the stone?
MARISHA: I think it's-- it's tall. You had it up.
TALIESIN: You can do ten-foot or ten-foot by 20-foot.
MARISHA: 20 feet tall. 20 feet?
MATT: Ten-foot by ten-foot and how long?
TALIESIN: It can be ten-foot by ten-foot, six inches thick, ten panels, each panel is contiguous with at least one other panel, or you can create ten-foot by 20-foot panels that are only three inches thick.
MARISHA: Right.
LAURA: So it's only ten feet tall.
MATT: Ten feet tall is what you said.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's ten feet tall.
MATT: So... It uses five feet of movement, traveling over barely. It gets to move 60 feet in this form and travel through people. So Grog, you get in attack.
TRAVIS: Sure.
LAURA: On wind!
TRAVIS: Yep.
SAM: Break the wind, Grog. Break it.
TRAVIS: Not a problem. 26.
MATT: It is now in Pike's space and Keyleth's space.
TALIESIN: Oh boy.
LIAM: Is Pike in the tumble dryer?
ASHLEY: Great choices.
MATT: Grog, making your attack
TRAVIS: 26 to hit.
MATT: That hits. You can go roll damage.
TRAVIS: 23... Sorry, sorry, sorry. Where's the little fucking caltrop? 29. 29 points of slashing damage with some necrotic thrown in there at large.
MATT: How much is the necrotic?
TRAVIS: Three points.
MATT: Okay, so 26 points of slashing?
TRAVIS: 26 points of slashing, three of necrotic.
MATT: You hack through and it seems to not be doing as much damage as you're used to with those strikes. Its form seems to be resistant or hard to really carve through. It seems to be taking less damage than you expected.
TRAVIS: Big problem.
MATT: Plus three necrotic. All right, that's your strike. It moves past you. As it does, its storm tears past you burning with this endless pelting of pebbles and stones, like tiny little glass daggers through your skin. To you and Scanlan and Pike and Keyleth. I need you all to make dexterity saving throws, please.
SAM: Oh shit.
TRAVIS: I get advantage on that. But I have a point of exhaustion, which means that's at disadvantage right?
MATT: No, it's physical.
TRAVIS: One point of exhaustion, disadvantage on saving throws.
MATT: No, three points is disadvantage on savings throws. Ability checks, you have one.
SAM: 20.
MATT: 20, that's a success.
MARISHA: Nine.
MATT: Failure.
TRAVIS: Dexterity?
ASHLEY: 16.
MATT: 16, failure.
TRAVIS: Dexterity? 23.
MATT: Success. So Grog and Scanlan both take 16 points of piercing damage. Keyleth and Pike take 32 points of piercing damage.
MARISHA: Say again?
MATT: You take 32 points of piercing damage as it blasts through you, striking into you. The storm just seems to envelop and slam across you, like you're being stung by 1,000 bees at once.
SAM: Bees.
LAURA: Is that magical?
ASHLEY: I'm resistant to piercing, but is this--?
MATT: It is not magical.
ASHLEY: This is non-magical, so I would have it?
MATT: What gives you resistance from piercing?
ASHLEY: Avatar of Battle.
MATT: Then yeah, you would take half that. So you take 16.
SAM: (Midwestern accent) The Avatar of Battle.
ASHLEY: (Midwestern accent) The Avatar of Battle.
TALIESIN: Nice, that works out.
MATT: You do have to make a concentration saving throw because you are concentrating the spell.
TRAVIS: Can I use my Stone's Endurance to reduce the damage?
MATT: You can.
TRAVIS: Okay, I only get to use it once. 1d12... Plus my constitution modifier. Four plus... the fuck? Oh, two, so six. Eight points reduced.
MATT: Take that down.
ASHLEY: 16.
MATT: You rolled a 16? Yes, you maintain concentration, no worries. Now it's going to make its actions. It makes two slam attacks.
LIAM: Pike and anybody else?
MATT: It's going to go after Keyleth and it's going to go after Pike, since they're both closest to it at the moment.
TALIESIN: Didn't hurt--
LIAM: These two.
LAURA: No, it hit Keyleth, Pike, and Grog.
MATT: Against Keyleth that is going to be 36 to hit.
SAM: Oh shit.
MATT: And against Pike--
TRAVIS: Did you say 36?
MATT: Yes. That's going to be 28 to hit.
TALIESIN: It's a storm. It's going to be hard to miss.
ASHLEY: I think that hits.
TRAVIS: So a lot of dice it's rolling.
SAM: They're all sixes, it's fine.
TRAVIS: Let's talk to it.
TALIESIN: Remember heals. You don't roll for heals. It's max healing for anything you do, by the way.
ASHLEY: Got it, okay.
TALIESIN: Except for Grog.
ASHLEY: Don't we need our stuff to heal?
LAURA: No, we just need the tuning fork in order to transport.
TALIESIN: Yeah, no, most of your spells are fine. Most of your spells are just fine.
MATT: Pike, you take 66 points of piercing damage
ASHLEY: That's halved?
MATT: Halved to 33.
SAM: Ooh, 66.
MATT: Make a strength saving throw for me, please.
MARISHA: 66? Keyleth takes full damage?
MATT: No, no, no, I'm rolling for your--
ASHLEY: Natural 20.
MATT: Natural 20, you are not grappled.
TALIESIN: Yeah, you can use any of your spells that don't cost gold, basically. Any object, if it needs something that has a money cost, but that's not a ton.
MATT: Keyleth takes 68 points of piercing damage. And I need you to make a strength saving throw.
MARISHA: Okay, okay. 68. Strength saving throw?
MATT: Yes.
MARISHA: Okay, 19.
MATT: 19, fail.
MARISHA: Fuck! What!?
MATT: You are grappled and restrained. You're actually caught up. Its hand has engulfed you and you are currently held aloft in this whirlwind of constant stinging sand and dust and shards of glass and whatever air and bits of material it's pulled up into its whirlwind-like fists. You can try and break free as an action on your turn. It's another strength check to try and break free. However, that is the end of its turn. That brings us to-- Lieve'tel and Scanlan.
SAM: Wow, not a good opening round.
LAURA: What the fuck.
LIAM: Keyleth just got wasted, right?
MATT: You can barely see her right now. You see the shape of her in this constantly spiraling cluster of wind and matter and shrapnel.
LIAM: I'm going to use my movement to go that way.
MATT: How many--?
LIAM: I'll go almost all of it to the edge of the rock. I'm going to plant the heft of the rod into the ground, which illuminates and lights up the entire area brightly.
MATT: The entire area is now brightly lit. Also sorry, Grog, you also take an additional 16 points of piercing damage from attacking it with the melee attack.
TRAVIS: Oh shit.
SAM: You get hurt from attacking it?
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM: Everyone within a 60 foot radius gets plus one bonus to AC and to saving throws and if there's anything invisible, you'd see it.
LAURA: Wait, say that again, say that again.
LIAM: Everyone within 60 feet of Lieve'tel, gets plus one to AC-- plus one to AC, plus one to saving throws and as a bonus, I'm going to do--
LAURA: Is this concentration?
LIAM: Hmm?
LAURA: Is this concentration?
LIAM: No, it's a magical item. Then Mass Healing Word, level five.
TALIESIN: You don't have to roll for it.
LIAM: No, I know.
MARISHA: Oh yeah, I get max.
LIAM: Yes, sorry, sorry, sorry.
TRAVIS: Who gets max, you do?
TALIESIN: Anybody.
MARISHA: Anyone with Beacon of Hope.
TALIESIN: Which you do not have.
TRAVIS: No, it hit me.
TALIESIN: Oh, Beacon did hit you, never mind.
LIAM: So I'm going to do it at level five. It'll be 12 plus four, 16 total to up to six people. So Keyleth, Bertrand, Pike--
MATT: The only ones who've taken damage so far, I believe, are Keyleth-- are Scanlan, Keyleth, Pike, and Grog.
LIAM: Okay, so anyone that I see that is hurt.
MATT: You heal 16 points.
LIAM: 16 total.
SAM: Does that go back up to the temporary hit points also or no?
MATT: You don't have temporary hit points. Your maximum hit points are increased.
SAM: Oh, cool.
MATT: That's how the spell works with Heroes' Feast. Does that finish your turn?
LIAM: Yeah, that was action and bonus action.
MATT: All right, end of your turn, it's going to use a legendary action to make a slam attack. This one is going to be against Keyleth again. It's going to attempt to just crush you from the inside.
MARISHA: I should've gone to an elemental form or something.
MATT: That's going to be... 35 to hit.
SAM: Damn.
MATT: It's rolling really high.
ASHLEY: It's hitting you again?
MARISHA: Mm-hmm. It's trying to crush me. Trying to squeezy squeeze.
TRAVIS: That's a lot of dice.
MATT: With a lot of eights?
MARISHA: Jesus Christ.
LAURA: Fuck.
MARISHA: You said we got home safe and sound--
MATT: 72 points of piercing damage.
TRAVIS: (high-pitched yelling) 72.
MARISHA: I have one hit point left.
MATT: Oh, shit!
SAM: I thought you just healed a second ago.
MARISHA: I did.
LIAM: A little bit.
SAM: I thought it was fully healing.
LAURA: No.
LIAM: Full of what the most of the spell does.
MATT: Yeah, it was 16.
TRAVIS: Holy shit.
MATT: All right, that ends its legendary action.
LAURA: That was just its legendary action.
MATT: That was Lieve'tel. Scanlan, what are you doing?
SAM: I mean, Jesus.
MARISHA: (nervous laughter)
SAM: Holy shit. I will start by inspiring Vex. Yeah, you're the only one who can do anything up there. I will inspire Vex by singing to her. (to "Shallow") ♪ We're off the deep end ♪ ♪ 'Cause of our dumb friend ♪ ♪ Grog's stupider than a cow ♪ ♪ You can't just wink it ♪ ♪ And don't rely on Trinket ♪ ♪ You've got to use arrows now ♪ ♪ Use your arrows, your arrows ♪ ♪ Use your ar-row-row-row-rows ♪ (laughter)
SAM: All right, you're inspired.
LAURA: That's a d12 now?
SAM: Yeah. I'm going to move away from the thing, that a-way, only 25 feet.
MATT: Okay, it does have a ten-foot range. You move out of its melee range. It's going to take an attack of opportunity on you.
SAM: Oh shit.
MATT: Natural one.
ALL: Yay!
MATT: You lucky son of a bitch. You are a lucky son of a bitch. All right, so how far you want to move?
SAM: Just 25 feet away.
MATT: You can move that far.
SAM: Yeah, it's still within 30 feet of it, I think, if possible.
MATT: Yes, you would be.
SAM: Okay. Then my menu of options is very limited. I could try to hurt it. Should I try to hurt it? Or should I try to protect Keyleth?
MATT: Somewhere in this field resides your material components, just so you guys know.
MARISHA: Yeah, we got to get the fuck out of here. No one stray too far.
SAM: Shit. Shit. I'll just cast-- I'll cast ♪ Bigby's Hand ♪.
MATT: All right, where do you want it?
TRAVIS: Nothing like looking for a tuning fork when there's a Kodiak bear in your cabin.
SAM: Just near it. I think casting is the action.
MATT: I'm pretty sure he can do something on the turn it arrives, right?
SAM: It says when you cast this spell and as a bonus action on subsequent turns-- oh, so I can do it on this turn?
MATT: Yes.
SAM: Oh, well, then I'll punch it.
MATT: All right, roll for attack.
SAM: I'm going to cast it at level six also.
MATT: Gotcha. 6th-level ♪ Bigby's Hand ♪.
SAM: 15 plus-- oh, I wish I went and wrote things down.
MATT: Your spell attack modifier. It's plus 12.
SAM: Plus 12, yes.
MATT: That hits.
SAM: Okay, great. At level six, it says, um, 2d8--(mumbling) (whining) ...4d8 so it's 6d8.
MATT: 6d8 bludgeoning damage?
TALIESIN: Magical?
SAM: Yeah, it'll say that somewhere in here. Force damage.
MATT: Force damage, go for it. Roll for damage.
TALIESIN: Yeah, take what you need.
SAM: I just-- I need more of these, but I'll just take these.
TALIESIN: I know, I didn't pack heavy. I should've packed heavy.
SAM: 14. Oh wow, these are really good rolls. 26, right? Yeah, nope, yep. 36. Shit.
MATT: 8d8 or 6d8, you said?
SAM: 36.
MATT: So 36 plus--? do you add anything to it? Plus your spell modifier?
SAM: I don't think so. It says just 4d8 force damage and then it becomes 6d8.
MATT: How much is that?
SAM: 36.
MATT: 36 points of force damage. As the fist slams into its form, you watch as sections of its swirling body scatter out, full damage. Doesn't seem to resist the force. It reforms and its green eyes shift within its body and then burn in your direction. But yeah.
SAM: Force damage everyone, force. Use the damage.
MATT: It did not resist your force damage. Does that finish your turn?
SAM: Yes, that's it.
MATT: All right. That brings us to Bertrand Bell.
TRAVIS: What?
SAM: He's got force. Do some force.
MATT: You're in melee with it. You were right up against it. Keyleth is engulfed, giant fist slams into you and you're just like, what is going on?
TRAVIS: I'm in melee with it?
MATT: Yes.
TRAVIS: I will break out of melee and run over and help the dude look for stuff in his cabinets.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: All of 15 feet.
MATT: He does not get an attack of opportunity. It's already used its reaction. You rush up and you use your action to--
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Quickly! Find whatever it is they need.
MATT: Make an investigation check.
TRAVIS: Nine.
MATT: Disadvantage because of your exhaustion.
TRAVIS: Worse. Oh yeah, that's even worse, six.
MATT: Okay, you don't even know where to look.
TRAVIS: I'm just yelling at him.
MATT: That's okay. That finishes your turn, Bertrand. All right, it is now this adamantine golem's turn.
SAM: Yes.
TALIESIN: Thank god.
LAURA: Oh good.
SAM: Hope it doesn't attack us.
TALIESIN: Everything's on the odd--
MATT: Ten-foot reach with a sword. It can get that far, but with Trinket there it couldn't get any further. It can swing with its sword twice. First attack is going to be-- yeah, that hits. Second attack, both hit. Set up there.
TALIESIN: This could've been worse.
TRAVIS: What are you talking about? Why are you even saying that shit? Have you not been paying attention to this last round?
TALIESIN: Nope.
MATT: 23 reduced to 13 points damage for the first strike. It's striking, but its blade is carving through and not as effective as you would hope it would be for its size. It just seems to be resistant to slashing damage. But it does take some damage from it. That ends its turn. That brings us to the top of the round. Percival, you're up.
TALIESIN: Well, first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to crawl to-- I'm going to, using my boots, get to the top of the wall.
MATT: -- 15, to top of the wall, or top of the spire?
TALIESIN: Actually, just to the spire because I want to see over the corner and see if there's anything back there.
MATT: Back here?
TALIESIN: I mean, like--
MATT: Oh, behind this space?
TALIESIN: Yeah, is there things behind there?
MATT: You don't see anything at first glance that appears to be containment. You do see at the top here there appears to be a vase and a chest and, looking across the way, there appears to be a wardrobe and another chest here. Across the way here from this perspective, you can also see this chest of stuff on that side as well.
TALIESIN: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. All right--
MATT: It's 20 feet to get up there.
TALIESIN: While I'm up there, you can put me down just somewhere up there. I'm going to take a shot at this thing just to experiment.
MATT: Sure.
TALIESIN: I'm going to take an Animus shot. Let's see if this works. I'm also burning a--
MATT: And Vex, you're up at the same time, too.
TALIESIN: I'm burning a point of grit. This thing has eyes, I assume?
MATT: It appears to have eyes, but the eyes themselves seem to be, at least in this particular form, shifting throughout its body. It doesn't seem to be particularly a source of its sight that is consistent.
TALIESIN: But if I take a head shot it may--?
MATT: It may.
TALIESIN: I'll take a head shot. I'll burn a point of grit and take a head shot.
MATT: Sure, go for it.
TALIESIN: All right, and I get advantage because you're... evil.
SAM: -- kind man.
TALIESIN: You're so evil. That's 28 to hit.
MATT: That hits.
TALIESIN: Then I'm also just--
MATT: It is Hexed, so you do an additional d6 damage.
TALIESIN: That's right. So I'm going to do-- so here's the damage that I do, is six points of piercing. No, I'm sorry. 12 points of piercing damage.
MATT: 12 points of piercing damage, all right. Doesn't do quite as much as you hoped.
TALIESIN: But that's also four points of psychic and four points of Hex, whatever Hex does.
MATT: Necrotic. Go ahead and roll that damage. Oh, four points each? Oh, that's an additional eight points damage. He does not seem to resist the damage from those effects. They do strike through.
TALIESIN: Then I did make a head shot. Did it seem like that disrupted the eyes at all?
MATT: It was at a disadvantage?
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's a blinding effect. I didn't print this properly. So it's a-- if I recall, goddamn it.
MATT: Know your abilities for this.
TALIESIN: It's been awhile.
MATT, MARISHA, SAM: ♪ It's been awhile ♪
(laughter)
MATT: This is going to be how it always works now.
TALIESIN: I believe it gives it one round of disadvantage to attacks. Yes.
MATT: It's bad, guys. This is really bad.
TALIESIN: I know. I'm also, yeah. I believe it's one round of disadvantage.
SAM: Does Matt wear that robe all the time around the house? Do you wear that robe all the time?
MARISHA: This is kind of new. It's like, this is my summer robe. It's a little bit more lightweight.
MATT: This is a dazing shot?
TALIESIN: Yeah, head shot. Here's Gunslinger 1.3. It is--
MATT: It makes a constitution saving throw, suffers disadvantage on attacks until the end of its next turn. Correct. Constitution saving throw against your DC. It's 28.
TALIESIN: Oh, so it's fine?
MATT: It's fine.
TALIESIN: All right, I'm just going to use my bonus action to-- I have two more shots anyway, so I'm going to take those two shots.
MATT: Go for it, take the shots. Gotta hurry this up, guys.
TALIESIN: That's a-- that hits. That's 15 points of normal damage and do you want me to just add the mystical damage?
MATT: Give me the additional.
TALIESIN: Four necrotic, three psychic.
MATT: Gotcha. Total there, got it.
TALIESIN: Then last shot is shitty, but that's okay. 23 to hit.
MATT: That hits.
TALIESIN: I'm going to pump all my Cabal's Ruin through this one, too, because fuck it.
MATT: Oh, nice.
TALIESIN: I'll give you the basic, that's nine points of normal damage, one point necrotic, two points psychic and then I believe it's electrical damage.
MATT: It is.
TALIESIN: I have 9d6 that I can pour into this.
MARISHA: Yes. Yes!
TALIESIN: That's 16 points.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: 14.
MATT: To 30.
TALIESIN: Nine more.
MATT: So 39 points lightning damage. Cannot resist. Arcs through its body. You watch-- it's like watching wildfire storms in the middle of dark clouds, where you see flashes throughout its body as the energy arcs through its entire body.
TALIESIN: Then I'm going to drop down and hide behind that bookcase.
MATT: You have ten more feet of movement.
TALIESIN: I'm dropping down and to the left.
MATT: Okay, so you're about here.
TALIESIN: No, I mean like as far down-- I'm getting behind the wall.
MATT: All right, we'll put you there.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: That's ten feet down from the peak of that.
SAM: Were you flying a second ago?
TALIESIN: No, I was on top of that thing.
MATT: He was on top of the peak. Then you moved ten feet down below behind that. You got it.
SAM: Nice, nice turn.
TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's everything.
LAURA: I'm going to use my action to-- can I search the area that the Locate Object is sending me to?
MATT: Correct. Go ahead and make an investigation check for me, if you don't mind.
SAM: Come on, come on.
LAURA: Is it with advantage because I have Locate Object on?
MATT: I'll allow it.
LIAM: Good, because that was a terrible roll. Better.
LAURA: 25, no, am I doing that right? Eight plus three is, 21.
MATT: 21. You immediately take the pot and hold it over--
LAURA: Oh, and I have inspiration.
SAM: If you want it.
MATT: You do.
LAURA: Fuck it, I'm using it.
TRAVIS: Yeah, you want to use it now
LAURA: Ooh, plus 12!
MARISHA: Whoa!
MATT: You reach over and grab the vase and in one quick motion look into it and let it fall and it shatters, nothing inside. You reach over and there's the chest. You throw it open and there is just a pile of random knickknacks and pieces of tattered cloth. Just focusing in, you pore through, reach down inside and pull up the Bag of Holding.
LAURA: Yes!
MATT: But it's not what you've been looking for. You hold it, you reach past, and reach down and your fingers touch a bunch of pieces of objects. You find one that seems to resonate. You pull it out and there's the tuning fork.
MARISHA: Yes!
LAURA: Yes! I've got it. I've got it.
MATT: You're still prone and you moved ten feet.
LAURA: Okay. I'm going to, oh god, okay, for my bonus action, since I did that for my action, right? For my bonus action, I'm going to cast Grasping Vine. I'm going to cast it-- is Keyleth in his fist?
MATT: Yeah. Like the fist is ten feet wide. Keyleth is just the shadow inside of it rolling around like a gyroscope being tossed and buffeted about on the inside.
MARISHA: Next turn. I'm next. I'm after you.
LAURA: Okay, so I shouldn't do this?
MARISHA: What do you mean? I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're talking about.
LAURA: I'm just going to do it anyway. Grasping Vine at its feet. Then it's going to reach up and grab Keyleth's feet and try to pull her out of the fist.
MARISHA: Yeah!
MATT: All right, so under it, so right here.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Okay, you got it. So Grasping Vine--
LAURA: I want her to stay within melee range. I don't want him to get an attack of opportunity on her but I want to--
TALIESIN: He's burned one anyway.
MATT: Well, the forced movement doesn't make an attack of opportunity.
LAURA: Okay. Well, then, fuck it, I'm going to move her farther away if I can. I can pull her up to 20 feet away from him.
MATT: 20 feet away. It says must succeed at dexterity saving throw or be pulled, but this is pulling it away from it. I will say it is you, it rolling a strength check versus your spell check. Roll a D20 and add your wisdom modifier and it's going to roll a strength check.
TALIESIN: Disadvantage on the strength check
MATT: Yes, it is, disadvantage, you're right.
SAM: Spell modifier.
LIAM: It's on your spell page.
LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: That's it. No, that's attack bonus.
LAURA: Yeah, that's my spell.
LIAM: Your spell modifier.
MATT: Spell modifier is your wisdom modifier.
LAURA: Oh, well then yeah, it's only eight.
MATT: Eight, yeah, doesn't pull her free, unfortunately. Yeah, even with the disadvantage, it had the 23.
LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.
MATT: The vine is like up inside trying to pull free and it's taut, but it's not actually managing to pull her from its grasp.
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: That end your turn?
LAURA: No, I've still got my movement.
MATT: You have 20 feet of movement.
LAURA: Okay, I'm going to stand up.
MATT: Okay, you have five feet of movement.
LAURA: Okay, well, I'm just going to stay up here because right now. I'm going to back up against the wall so he can't see me, like crouched amongst all the little trinkets.
MATT: Into the little elements there, you got it.
LAURA: Then Trinket is going to run towards the--
TALIESIN: Do we have the ear pieces? We do. We can talk to each other, by the way. It's been awhile.
SAM, MARISHA, and LIAM: ♪ It's been awhile ♪
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Goddamn it.
MATT: All right, anything else? All right, that finishes your turn. End of your turn, it's going to use--
LAURA: I'm going to use my ear piece and go: Found the tuning fork.
TALIESIN: We've got to bugger out. Let's bugger out.
MATT: It's going to use another legendary action to attempt to squeeze out Keyleth. That's going to be...
SAM: I will Cutting Words that.
MATT: So 25 to hit.
MARISHA: Come on, Scanlan.
MATT: So what do you do?
SAM: I will yell at it: Your virginity breeds mites much like a cheese! That's Shakespeare, folks.
MATT: Well, done, well done. As it is the classic bard, from the bard, go ahead and roll your d12 and we'll reduce that.
SAM: Is this a 12?
MATT: It's a 12, yeah.
SAM: 12!
MARISHA: Yes! Fucking fail!
MATT: 13. It tries to squeeze and crush you from the inside. Unfortunately, the grasping vine actually pulls you toward the cusp of it and most of the force just manages to avoid colliding into your body. You watch as a bunch of stones smack and spark on the inside where your body would've been.
LIAM: Continuity: hold!
MATT: All right, that brings us to Bob's turn. Bob goes ahead and rummages through and pulls out a few books that he's collecting. Manages to pull out another satchel of items that looks familiar to you, Pike. It's your material components.
SAM: (gasps)
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
SAM: Getting all the stuff back.
MATT: Pulls it out and goes, "I think I found something." That ends his turn. Keyleth, you're up.
MARISHA: Okay, I'm really mad now. So I'm going to use my bonus action to turn into an air elemental version of him. (laughter)
LIAM: Super cool.
MATT: It's been awhile since I've--
ALL: ♪ It's been awhile ♪
MATT: Goddamn it. I'll be right back.
TRAVIS: How can that happen three times in 20 minutes? Oh my god. How high can we go? Let's see where this rocket ship takes us.
TALIESIN: We're buggering, right? Are we buggering?
MATT: Yeah, so Keyleth turns into an air elemental.
LAURA: Oh, look at it.
SAM and TALIESIN: Yes.
SAM: What happens when air and air fight?
MARISHA: Well, it means I cannot be grappled or restrained.
MATT: Yeah, you are immune to being grappled and restrained.
MARISHA: So I slip out of it. I cast, because I can do that now at level 20, Sunbeam.
MATT: Sunbeam, does that require--
MARISHA: Oh, you're right, a magnifying glass.
LAURA: I thought it was anything with a monetary value.
MATT: No, for her ability to cast in her shape changed form, it has to be verbal and somatic. It cannot have a material component.
LAURA: Oh, oh, I understand.
MARISHA: Fuck.
TALIESIN: There's still stuff, right? Do you need list of spells?
MARISHA: What did I fucking have instead? Oh shit.
LAURA: This is complicated.
SAM: Well, you know because it's been--
LAURA: No.
LIAM: It's been a spell.
MARISHA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
TALIESIN: No, that's what it's here for.
MARISHA: I instead go-- just find-- just pull it for me.
SAM: Don't yell at the iPad.
TALIESIN: There it is.
MARISHA: I'm going to do Blight. I'm trying to do Blight. I Blight it in its face. While I'm still inside of it I go air elemental and I just release all these undead sporelike things from my form.
MATT: They get immediately picked up and wind throughout its body.
MARISHA: And do necrotic damage.
MATT: 14, I rolled a four. So I believe it does not save. So you do full damage.
MARISHA: So I do 8d8.
ASHLEY: 8d8?
MARISHA: Yeah, I do two at a time here. Yes, 13. Damn, yes, 12. Are you adding 13 plus 12 is 25. 14.
MATT: Okay, so 39.
MARISHA: 39. And nine.
MATT: So 48. 48 necrotic damage to it, nice. You watch the eyes flicker for a second. The green glows from inside of it spiraling tornado like dust form. Its storm like face glares towards you as you draw-- are you moving out of its grasp?
MARISHA: Yeah, I'm now going to fly up and I've got 90 feet of movement and I'm going to fly and land down next to Vex.
MATT: Oh so you're landing? Okay. There you go.
LAURA: Oh, hey.
MARISHA: Rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
MATT: That ends your turn?
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: Okay, great. At the end of your turn, it's going to go ahead and... Hmmm. Yeah, it's going to use its last legendary action to attempt to slam you, Pike.
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: No!
ASHLEY: It's okay.
TRAVIS: I'll kill you.
MATT: That's a natural 20.
LIAM: No, it's not. Grave cleric.
(laughter)
MATT: Robbed me of my joy.
LIAM: Sentinel at Death's Door!
TALIESIN: Isn't it so cool?
LIAM: It's the best. I really swag grave cleric from my short time with her.
ASHLEY: Was does that mean? So it's halved?
LIAM: It undoes critical hit.
LAURA: So it doesn't get like double deck damage on you.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
TALIESIN: It's very particular. It has to be used very--
LIAM: Got to be paying attention.
TALIESIN: Yeah, and you got to be right there.
ASHLEY: Okay, thank you, Lieve.
MATT: You take, it would be 58 points of piercing damage, but halved because you halved that. So that would be 26. No, 24. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
ASHLEY: What'd you say? 68 or 58?
MATT: 58 halved.
SAM: So that's 29.
MATT: 29, thank you. 29, math. 29 points piercing damage.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
MATT: That finishes Keyleth's turn. Grog, you're up.
TRAVIS: Yeah. I would like to run and jump and try to dive tackle the big--
ASHLEY: Constitution for beacon.
MATT: Yes, you do.
ASHLEY: It's gone.
LAURA: How do you know?
ASHLEY: It's an eight.
LAURA: Oh.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: All right, so Beacon of Hope fades.
MARISHA: Plus your wisdom, right?
MATT: Constitution modifier.
ASHLEY: Constitution, yeah.
TRAVIS: For my bonus action, I would like to rage.
MATT: All right, there you go. In the air, the rage bursts through your blood and you reach in to try and grab something that is made of wind.
TRAVIS: Okay. I jump and dive, try to dive tackle him. Do I just pass right through?
MATT: You pass into him.
TRAVIS: Oh.
SAM: Oh god.
MATT: You are currently engulfed inside its body.
TRAVIS: Oh, I didn't dive straight through it?
MATT: I mean, what are you trying to do?
TRAVIS: I'm trying to dive tackle and if I can't grab him just go straight through him to the other side.
MATT: Okay, are you using your action to attempt to grapple it then?
TRAVIS: Yes.
MATT: So for one of your attacks, you're attempting to grapple.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
MATT: Okay. Yeah, it is immune to being grappled in this form. So you don't pass through it, you try and grab it and now you're in its space. So your first attack, no effect.
TRAVIS: I'll stay in its space and I'll move around to the other side where the pedestal is.
MATT: Yeah, you do take 16 points of piercing damage reduced to eight.
TRAVIS: Okay.
MATT: Then you're going to move around--
TRAVIS: I'm going to do counter-clockwise, yep, to your left, 50 feet, as far as I can.
MATT: About there.
TRAVIS: Okay. Are any of the party-- I can't see over there-- are any of the party members that I'm near?
SAM: You're right next to Pike.
TALIESIN: Then above you--
MATT: Above you is Vex and Keyleth.
TRAVIS: Great. I'll be like: Did you find the thing? Here are my hands. And that's it, that's my turn.
MATT: All right, that finishes Grog's go. That brings us to Pike.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay. I am going to--
MATT: Oh and Pike, I do need you to make a-- sorry, I need you to make a strength saving throw.
ASHLEY: Okay. Ooh, no. That's a six.
MATT: You are grappled and restrained from when it didn't hit you last time. So you are currently held in its space.
ASHLEY: Well, then I will--
MATT: Just like Keyleth was balled up in its fist in its one hand, the other hand grabs and now you're just being buffeted around and just pelted from all angles. You can barely see.
TALIESIN: As long as we're touching.
ASHLEY: I am going to grasp my holy symbol and I'm going to pray to Sarenrae for Divine Intervention, because it is an automatic success.
MATT: At level 20, that's right.
(yelling)
LIAM: Yeah, that's right!
TRAVIS: Oh shit! Pike in the house.
LAURA: Oh no.
MARISHA: Why is he looking it up?
TALIESIN: He's got to see exactly
MATT: It's been awhile since we've done this--
LIAM, LAURA, ASHLEY, SAM, and TALIESIN: ♪ It's been awhile ♪
MATT: I hate you all so much.
TRAVIS: That's four.
MATT: Describe the assistance you seek.
ASHLEY: Okay. I am hoping that she will-- say again--
SAM and MATT: You're praying.
ASHLEY: I pray to her, I'm not hoping, she's just going to just come down.
TRAVIS: Oh Sarenrae!
ASHLEY: She will help grapple him and keep him away so we can get together and BAMF out.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Just like hold him down with her holy strength.
MATT: As you finish your prayer, your eyes close and in the darkness of your eyes shutting out all the light around you and the pain and the sting of the wind and sand pelting you from the winds and the creature around you in the darkness, you see a flickering light and you look forward and you realize that moment this creature physically cannot be restrained or held back. You're like, your heart's broken in that moment of realization. Just past the boundary of the wind you watch is over here on this side its flame burns upward, you watch the flame burns into two phoenix wings. As the flames engulf the space, Scanlan, you're like, "Oh god!" The heat is immense. And over your shoulder, you watch as these phoenix wings unfurl and on the inside you see this beautiful feminine form of dark, brown skin, light fiery red hair, just luminous space there. As she puts her hands out, you watch as these bright radiant chains of burning light just begin to wrap around her forearms. She releases them forward and they spin around the creature and they don't pass through its form. The divine energies of this resist the fact that it's not a physical attack and you watch as the chains tighten and she grabs and pulls. You watch as this avatar of Sarenrae or possibly Sarenrae herself, as you are past the Divine Gate, drags backward and the creature is pulled back and is currently grappled and restrained by Sarenrae.
TRAVIS: Oh, Sarenrae!
MARISHA: Is Pike dragged with him?
MATT: Yeah, Pike is still inside of it.
SAM: Wow, restrained by a god.
ASHLEY: I know that grappling wouldn't work for him, but I was like, maybe with a god?
MATT: For perspective, that's where it's at because that's where the "Sarenrae" would be. I do not-- off hand. I'm not going to run back there again.
SAM: Okay.
TALIESIN: If something is physically moved, the grapple moves with it?
MARISHA: I thought it breaks. The restraint.
MATT: No, I think you're correct, actually.
TALIESIN: It doesn't solve all the problems, but it solves one of them.
MATT: It's sticky because it's engulfing you. It's not so much that it's just holding you in place. It's engulfing you.
LAURA: That makes sense, that makes sense.
MATT: I'll say no, it holds onto you. Normally, if it was just a simple grapple, yes, but this is like it's engulfed you in its fist and because it's being dragged back, you're still being pulled with it.
ASHLEY: Okay. Then I don't know--
TALIESIN: Did the grasping vine also-- no, never mind, that was Keyleth's, never mind.
ASHLEY: So I don't know if this is going to work but as a bonus action, I am also going to summon the Blessing of the Everlight and poof out my wings and try to maybe try to get out.
MATT: Okay. This is from which one?
ASHLEY: Blessing of the Everlight, as a bonus action, you can summon the wings of the Everlight granting you--
MATT: Right, this is from the blessing that you received from her, yes. So you get the fly speed.
ASHLEY: 40 feet. Works up to ten minutes. Any spells you cast that cause creatures to regain hit points, heal an additional ten HP. It'll help me get out but--
MATT: It doesn't at the moment, but you have wings and you have a fly speed. When it comes around to your next turn, you can use an action to try and break free from its grapple, if somebody else doesn't help you out of there either way. Okay, that finish your turn?
ASHLEY: Yes.
MATT: Okay. Ending Pike's turn, it is now the dust titan's turn.
MARISHA, SAM, and TRAVIS: The dust titan?
MATT: Yes. He gains his legendary actions back. It is grappled and restrained, so it has disadvantage on its attacks and it's going to use its action to try and break free of the grapple.
TALIESIN: What it is that, by the way?
MATT: Hmm?
TALIESIN: What do you use to break free of a grapple?
MATT: It's a strength check, which it has disadvantage on.
TALIESIN: Okay, good.
MATT: Yes, because of the Hex.
TALIESIN: Just double checking.
MATT: But this is against Sarenrae, which I need you to roll for. Roll a d20 and add ten to it.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, it's a Sarenrae die. Let's do this one.
MARISHA: Come on, come on.
ASHLEY: Okay.
LAURA: And add ten.
ASHLEY: 21.
MATT: 17.
MARISHA: Yes!
MATT: It uses an action to try and break free from the chains, failed. However, I should've remembered, at the beginning of its turn because you are still held by it, you do, every creature that's grappled by it takes 24 piercing damage which is reduced to 12, so you take 12 more piercing damage while you're engulfed there.
ASHLEY: Hold on.
MATT: But yeah, it fails to break the grapple and that's its action, shit. Divine Intervention, man.
TALIESIN: 20.
MATT: Yeah, that's what it is. All right, that's going to end the titan's turn. We have Lieve'tel and Scanlan. What are you doing?
LIAM: Lieve'tel is going to hold her hand out and claw the air and say: Fail, and use Path to the Grave to curse the creature. Next time an ally hits it with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all of that attack's damage and then the curse ends. As a bonus, I'm going to cast Healing Word on Pike at level eight.
SAM: Oh wow. Level eight?
LIAM: Yes.
SAM: That's a big old fat Healing Word.
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM: So give me a moment.
MARISHA: I'm now in my air elemental form, which is now full.
LAURA: Sweet.
ASHLEY: 84?
LIAM: No, no, no, I'm going to roll it for you.
SAM: 8d4.
TRAVIS: 84? Oh, Pike. You silly.
TALIESIN: So you can hold a heal, but yeah.
LIAM: Fuck this die, 11. 12. 13. 16. 19 plus four is 23. So 23 points.
ASHLEY: That's great.
LIAM: Then I will use my movement to back around the mechanical creature there with me.
MATT: 20, 25.
LIAM: Yes.
MATT: Yep, you can move 30. You can get right there next to Bob.
TALIESIN: Are we all joining Bob? All right.
MARISHA: Grouping up around Bob.
SAM: Do we have all our stuff?
MATT: Is that the end of your turn?
LIAM: That's the end of my turn.
MARISHA: Pike's stuff, Bag of Holding, and the tuning fork.
LIAM: Next attack on him, though, is doubled because it's vulnerable. If you get a critical, it will be quadrupled.
MATT: Okay. End of your turns. Going to use legendary action and it's going to try and break again. Roll another Sarenrae die, if you don't mind. Disadvantage.
ASHLEY: With a disadvantage?
MATT: No, I have disadvantage.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: What'd you roll?
ASHLEY: 23.
MATT: 24.
ASHLEY: Can I, as Pike, use War God's Blessing--
MATT: That gives plus ten to an attack roll to somebody nearby if, I recall, unless I'm wrong.
ASHLEY: Yes, plus ten to attack. Oh, this is was a--
MATT: This was for him to break free.
ASHLEY: Sorry, sorry, sorry, yes, yes, yes, okay.
MATT: That's okay. Okay. So just the chains break free, but he's pulled back and has wasted an entire round.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: That ends, that's Lieve'tel's turn. Scanlan?
SAM: Are you still grappled in there?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
SAM: Okay. I will use Bigby's Hand to push Pike out of him.
MATT: Okay! Moving the hand up in towards the grasp where it has her. Go ahead and roll a d20 and add your charisma modifier.
SAM: 19 plus charisma?
MATT: Yes.
SAM: That's a lot. I'm a charismatic son of a bitch. Plus six, so that's 25.
MATT: 23 was what it rolled. So 13 plus ten. So you managed to push Pike. The hand just palms Pike and shoves you out of his grasp.
ASHLEY: Awesome.
MATT: So you skid right there on the ground. The hand just takes you and holding like a basketball and rests you on the ground.
SAM: It says that I can push a creature five feet plus five feet times my spell casting ability modifier which is another 30 feet.
MARISHA: You can drag her all the way towards Bob.
MATT: You can't drag her. Push.
SAM: Can I push her all the way to Grog?
MATT: If you push her any further through where the hand was, you're going to push her into the stone wall.
SAM: Oh, can I push the other way?
MATT: Well, the push is basically-- it's not like a-- it's a push in a single direction.
SAM: All right. Cool, that's fine.
MATT: Because you were over here, you can move five, ten. How much can you move the hand before you do a thing?
SAM: Oh boy! (fake crying) This thing is the worst. Don't worry, it's not D&D Beyond.
TALIESIN: Really?
LIAM: (reading) "You can move the hand up to 60 feet and then cause one of the following effects."
SAM: So let's go all the way around.
MATT: But you can do that. You can go there and then shove her this way. Then you push her to there, we'll allow that. That's good to know. So you do push her and rest her down that side. There you go.
SAM: That's my bonus action. Oh boy.
TALIESIN: Yeah, you got to get over to us, man.
MARISHA: You got to get over there.
ASHLEY: Bamf over.
SAM: I will Dimension Door to where Vex is.
LAURA: Up to me? Why me?
TRAVIS: Make a chain, make a chain, make a chain.
MARISHA: Go down.
SAM: I don't know where we're supposed to go.
LAURA: No, I can jump down, I can jump down.
MATT: He doesn't know. What are you doing?
SAM: I went there, that's what I said.
LAURA: Well, that's fine. That's fine, I'll use--
SAM: That's it.
MATT: All right, that finishes Scanlan's go. All right, at the end of Scanlan and Lieve'tel's turn, titan's going to use two legendary actions to shift form.
SAM: Whoa.
LAURA: Oh no.
MATT: Still Hexed.
SAM: I bet he's up at full strength again.
MATT: Still Hunter's Marked. All righty.
TRAVIS: I have no idea.
MATT: That brings us to Bertrand Bell's turn.
TRAVIS: Oh god! I swayed the group. I want to go home. I'll just try and make more of a chain between anybody and the people that are up on the pedestal. So I'll just put myself in a line, yeah.
MATT: Like next to Lieve'tel there?
TRAVIS: Sure, that sounds great. And I cry for my action.
MATT: Okay, that ends your turn. It's now the golem's turn. The golem is going to go ahead and move up over here on the side. There's the grasping vine. Make two strikes. Misses since armor class goes up in this form and misses with a natural two. It's hitting it, you're watching sparks fly, but now that the dust storm is returned and become the super hardened sandstone type body, the blade of this golem is just streaking across it carving these slight lines, but doing no actual damage. That ends the golem's turn. Top of the round, Percy, you're up.
TALIESIN: I'm going to hop back over and find a place in the line with everybody else.
MARISHA: If we can daisy chain it to Grog, we might be able to get out this turn.
TALIESIN: Oh, holy cut.
LAURA: That's what I mean, if I can hop down, if I can grab Scanlan and jump down--
SAM: Did you get all your stuff?
MARISHA: Yeah.
LAURA: I mean, I got the Bag of Holding.
SAM: What else are we missing?
MARISHA: Nothing. Nothing we can't replace.
SAM: Pikey?
ASHLEY: Somebody has my bag.
LAURA: Yeah, Bertrand Bell has--
MARISHA: Yeah, Bob grabbed--
LAURA: Grabbed your bag.
TALIESIN: I'm going to hop over. I will miss the rings and I'm going to run to Grog.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Hop over this?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: All right, five, ten.
TALIESIN: Cleanest way.
MATT: 15, 20, 25, 30, that's where you can get with your movement.
TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to burn more for a little bit more movement. I'm going to burn an action.
MATT: Okay, burn an action. You get up to Grog there, you mean?
TALIESIN: I'm actually going to get on top of Grog and try and-- so that, no, I'm just going to sit there. Never mind. Okay, I'm there, did I have to burn an action for that?
MATT: You did.
LAURA: Maybe just hop down to Bertrand. Never mind.
TALIESIN: No, no, no.
MATT: It's fine, what are you doing?
TALIESIN: I'm going to hold-- I'm going to hold a gun attack in case it starts to move towards us.
MATT: You used your action, you can't hold a gun.
TALIESIN: Oh, not even with an action surge?
MATT: Sure, if you want to action surge and then hold that action, I'll allow it.
TALIESIN: All right. That was an action surge. I'm holding my real action to make a push attack, yeah, a shot against him.
MATT: Against him? Okay, cool. That finishes your go, Percy. Vex.
LAURA: Okay. I'm going to grab Scanlan.
SAM: Hi!
LAURA: Can I do that? Hop on my broom.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: Oh boy.
LAURA: Just make an easy little jaunt down to the ground.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Simple, simple.
SAM: Oh god.
MATT: What's the speed of your broom?
LAURA: I like that I started the game with a voice.
MATT: I know, you poor thing.
LAURA: What the fuck?
ASHLEY: You sound really cool.
MARISHA: Almost done.
MATT: All right, so you grab Scanlan, you get on the broom. What's the movement on the broom?
LIAM: 60 feet, I think.
LAURA: 60 feet.
MATT: So with him on it--
LIAM: It's normal, 60.
MATT: Right. Grabbing him, normally when you're carrying somebody with you it's half movement to move. So I'll say 30 feet. Anyway, go ahead and make a strength or an athletics check to deal with the wind as you attempt to make the broom--
LAURA: If the broom starts to go, I'm just going to bail and jump to the ground, just letting you know.
SAM: Thanks.
LAURA: Athletics, 13.
LIAM: That good old twin athletics.
MATT: As you begin to head down, the broom begins to (fluttering) and curl up. You said you're going to ditch?
TRAVIS: Yeah, fuck it, just jump.
LAURA: Yeah, I wasn't coming up before I was going down.
MATT: No, I realize that. As you began to move forward, the wind picked it up because that's what it does.
LAURA: Yeah, fuck it. I'm bailing, I'm going to try to hold on to Scanlan and take a land and acrobatics my way onto the ground.
MATT: All right, so acrobatics check, acrobatics check with disadvantage.
SAM: Okay.
LAURA: 30.
SAM: Jesus.
LAURA: I'm holding onto Scanlan to try to protect him.
SAM: That's a two. Plus six. Eight.
MATT: So that's eight. Okay. So you allowed him an acrobatics check. What was the first roll you did?
SAM: I rolled twice and one was a nine and one was a two. I rolled them at the same time.
MATT: Okay, so the nine was what your-- I'll give you the higher of the two, because she was helping you. It would mitigate the disadvantage.
SAM: Okay, 15 then.
MATT: So 15, okay. So you reduce the... seven mitigated to three. Take three points of bludgeoning damage. You're fine. But you are prone as you fall because you did not succeed entirely.
LAURA: Well, I'm still going to hold his hand. I'm still going to grab--
MATT: That's fine. All right, that finishes your go?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: All right. It's Bob's turn. Bob's going to go over and grab some more stuff.
MARISHA: Bob, no!
TRAVIS: Fuck Bob! Who gives a shit?
SAM: We promised him, Grog.
TRAVIS: No, fuck that guy.
SAM: We made a promise!
TRAVIS: Nope.
SAM: Have to roll to maintain concentration.
MATT: He goes over. His speed is-- actually speed is 40 while hovering. You actually watch him just glide over and he uses his action to grab a few books then gets more things and getting his belongings together, seems to be caught up in his own mind gathering things. That finishes his turn. Actually, he's going to make a legendary action to teleport.
TALIESIN: Good boy, good boy.
MATT: (foomph) Appear here.
TALIESIN: Okay!
MATT: That's going to finish his go. Keyleth, you're up.
LAURA: Can I use my bonus action to have bamfed Trinket into my necklace?
MATT: Trinket.
LAURA: If he's in 100 feet of me.
MATT: Yeah, I'll do that. You got it. That finishes Bob's turn. Keyleth, you're up.
MARISHA: I'm going to fly down to Vex towards the Scanlan side.
MATT: This side?
MARISHA: Yeah. Drop my form.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh boy.
MARISHA: Back to one hit point. I grab the tuning fork.
SAM: Should we take Sarenrae with us?
MARISHA: I grab the tuning fork and then I'm going to--
MATT: Are you going next to her or next to Scanlan? Right there, you mean?
MARISHA: Yeah, whatever I can do to grab my tuning fork.
MATT: Okay, so we have to get next to her there.
TALIESIN: Who are we missing?
TRAVIS: Pike.
ASHLEY: That's okay, I'm close.
MARISHA: Wait, where are you?
SAM: She's over by the hand.
TALIESIN: Over by the hand.
LAURA: He's going to get to go--
SAM: And Bob isn't touching anybody yet?
MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to use the rest of my movement. I'm going to hold on to Scanlan's foot that's on the ground and I'm going to reach out and try and connect to everybody and I'm going to hold my action, my Plane Shift spell for as soon as we're all touching to go.
MATT: Okay, so you're standing there in contact with Vex and Scanlan.
MARISHA: I'll grab the fork from Vex, move over. I'm trying to connect this daisy chain with Scanlan.
MATT: So you move here because you have 60 feet of movement with your air form, right?
MARISHA: 90.
MATT: 90, all right.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: So I'll say by the time you transform, you've used a third of your movement to get down there.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: So you have 20 feet of movement left.
MARISHA: Okay, I was just grabbing the fork and then I want to connect this, I'm trying to connect this daisy chain with this group and Pike. So I want to be here, that way Pike can try and get here and then I think we should all be connected.
MATT: So you're just moving here and that's your turn?
MARISHA: Yes and grabbing onto Scanlan's foot and waiting and holding my spell.
MATT: Okay, so you've now begun to cast-- you've cast-- which one, Plane Shift?
MARISHA: Plane Shift.
MATT: And you are holding it until everyone's together.
MARISHA: Until Pike latches on and we connect the daisy chain.
MATT: You got it. Okay, that ends your turn. Grog, you're up.
LAURA: Oh god. Oh Grog, you can maneuver and grab her.
TRAVIS: Grab who?
LAURA: Pike.
TRAVIS: Don't I need to just touch Percy?
LAURA: Yeah, but if you get Pike before the bad guy gets Pike, you can complete the chain because you're on the end.
SAM: She's a monster. There's a god behind her.
TRAVIS: I don't think I can squeeze through there. I have 50 feet of movement. Could I squeeze through?
MATT: You can move through allies, just step over them.
TRAVIS: Do I have 50 feet to get over to where-- to split Keyleth and Percy, I mean Keyleth and Pike?
MATT: 30, you're there, 30 is right there.
TRAVIS: Am I within reaching range of Pike?
MATT: No.
TRAVIS: All right, fuck it, that's closer at least.
TALIESIN: Am I no longer touching? Were you the end of the chain?
LAURA: He was the end. So you're next me now.
TRAVIS: She's just got to get to me.
MATT: There is five people between Percy and Vex.
TALIESIN: I don't think it was meant to-- I mean, I would've preferred to be in a cluster, but I couldn't--
MATT: You had to specify, if we're getting this fiddly.
TALIESIN: So you weren't at the end of the chain?
MATT: He was connecting you guys. He's no longer connecting you.
TRAVIS: I want to stay at the end of the chain.
TALIESIN: Sorry, that changes things.
TRAVIS: Yeah, then I'll go back to where I was and just hold my action. Hold the whole thing. I'll just stay where I was.
MATT: You're not doing that. You're backing up?
TRAVIS: Yeah, I want to be connected.
MARISHA: Yeah, it looked like we were all connected.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Trying to connect, man.
MATT: I understand. There's only so much I can keep backing things up before it starts getting a little frustrating. So you're holding there. That's your turn-- you're holding your action, for what?
TRAVIS: Nothing. I literally give up my entire turn.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Oh god.
MARISHA: Get out of here.
MATT: You got it.
MARISHA: It all hinges on Pike.
MATT: Pike, your turn.
LAURA: It's your turn.
ASHLEY: It's my turn? Okay, okay, okay. So I'm just going to get to Bob.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh god.
MATT: Moving to Bob.
MARISHA: No, no, no, connect Bertrand and--
MATT: Run up and grab Bob's hand, and he holds your hand and you look over and between Bertrand and Keyleth there is a five foot gap. There is no chain.
MARISHA: No, go in between us.
ASHLEY: Sorry, I can't see.
SAM: To be fair, it has been awhile.
ASHLEY: I thought they were connected. I'll go in, wherever the opening is.
LIAM: If I'm next, I could fill the hole.
SAM: Yeah, Lieve can fill the hole.
MATT: 25.
MARISHA: Well, you're already there Lieve, right?
LIAM: Am I? Oh, I'm there, all right.
MARISHA: Yeah, you're there.
TALIESIN: I was trying to look. I was trying to make sense of this madness.
LAURA: We're all touching.
MARISHA: We're all touching, right?
ASHLEY: Where is Lieve?
MATT: Seems to be.
LIAM: Next to Bertrand.
MARISHA: Bamf! It looks like we're all connected.
ASHLEY: I give a quick nod to Sarenrae of thank you.
MARISHA: Do I see all of Vox Machina's hands connected?
MATT: Make a perception check.
SAM: Yes, look first.
MARISHA: Want to make sure I see all of Vox Machina's hands connected.
SAM: Plus Bob.
MARISHA: I don't give a fuck about Bob, to be totally honest. I'm kind of with Travis. If Bob-- fuck, that's real bad.
SAM: Don't do it then.
MARISHA: 14.
SAM: Don't do it then.
MATT: 14? Looks like everyone's hands might be touching. What are you doing?
SAM: Might be, oh god.
MATT: What are you doing?
ASHLEY: I think everyone's touching.
LAURA: We knew what we were trying to do. All of us knew we were trying to grab ahold of each other.
TRAVIS: Do it!
MATT: What are you doing?
MARISHA: I take the tuning fork and I slam it against my staff to get a giant ringing noise that just blasts out from all of us and I take and I harness that energy and I blast it out and I think of Whitestone.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: And I think of the Sun Tree.
MATT: Okay, everyone's reaching out, hands grasping, grasping, Bob hears the ringing and goes, "Oh, it's happening," and reaches out towards you, Lieve'tel. Do you take Bob's hand?
LIAM: Yes.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: That rod was in my family for 150 years.
MATT: The last thing you say before each of you grasp, feel the druidic energy surge through your arms connecting each of you like little beads of light before all of your forms dissipate and there's nothing but wind and dust left as the chains of Sarenrae wrap once more around the creature and pull it back. The last thing you see is that, being yanked back towards the flame in the distant side of the structure and you are pulled through into darkness. From behind you, you see the lattice, the Divine Gate pass again, the golden net vanish in the distance behind as you're yanked backwards, backwards, backwards. The temperature gets colder and colder and colder and suddenly you are smacked into snow.
TALIESIN: Oh no, that happened. There was an extra arm that happened.
MATT: You all find yourselves dropped right in the center of the courtyard of Whitestone.
MARISHA: I immediately vomit with a little bit of blood in there because I still have one hit point.
SAM: Oh man.
MARISHA: And I just roll over and just lay on the cold snow.
ASHLEY: I roll over all the way over to her wherever she is and I put a hand on her and cast Cure Wounds.
TALIESIN: Vex?
MARISHA: I just roll over to Pike and cuddle her for a minute.
TALIESIN: Grog?
ASHLEY: I cast Cure Wounds at 5th-level.
MARISHA: Oh, thank you.
LIAM: Lieve pushes herself to standing and looks at legends and casts Mass Heal, 700 hit points divvied up among the crew.
TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) If it's all the same--
SAM: Oh, you lived?
TRAVIS: I hope I never see any of you ever, ever again. I quit and I'm going into retirement. Goodbye. And I just start walking. Bertrand starts walking out of Whitestone.
TALIESIN: What was his name again?
MARISHA: Bertrand--
TALIESIN: Nice, that's right. I'll forget it again.
SAM: I'll write a song about him. He deserved it.
LAURA: Where's Bob?
TALIESIN: Bob?
MATT: You guys look over and there's a thorn bush and he's currently like, "Ow, ow, ow."
TALIESIN: Bob.
MATT: "Yes?"
TALIESIN: It's not going to get any better.
MATT: "Oh. Ow."
TALIESIN: I suppose if you want to.
LAURA: Scanlan?
SAM: What?
LAURA: Have you ever thought about using Modify Memory to make someone happy?
SAM: But that's not mischievous at all? I suppose I could try. Sure. Well, wait, what are we doing with him?
ASHLEY: Wait.
LAURA: You could make him whatever--
SAM: Weren't we going to try to send him to Limbo?
ASHLEY: What if... Would Greater Restoration work on his mind?
TALIESIN: Don't know.
LAURA: Try it.
ASHLEY: I'll try it.
MATT: You walk up to him. He's now stopped and he's pushed enough towards the thorn bush and you watch his hand move forward and the thorns bend back and snap without even touching him. You see he's somehow manipulating it with some force of his mind.
ASHLEY: Bob.
MATT: "Yes, hello?"
ASHLEY: Hi. I'm just going to try to help you for just a moment.
MATT: "Okay. I don't recognize this place."
ASHLEY: Maybe you will in a little bit.
TALIESIN: I'm holding a weird little action.
ASHLEY: I place my hand on his shoulder and I'll cast Greater Restoration.
MATT: Okay. Lingering aspect of that divine energy that you saw break into the Plane of Pandemonium to hold back that creature that was assaulting you. A flicker of that emerges from your palm and sifts through the body of Bob. You watch his eyes darting around faster as he feels the sensation, "Oh, oh that's strange." His pupils meet yours. "My mind has been clouded for so long. I have forgotten who I am. Thank you. What is your name?"
ASHLEY: My name's Pike.
MATT: "Pike. Pike of?"
LAURA: Of course, Pike.
ASHLEY: Pike of-- Pike Trickfoot of Vox Machina and I live here.
MATT: "And I am-- I am Shanak. I am an Anarch from Limbo. My home is Shra'kt'lor, and I lost my way on a mission. For how long, I do not know, but you've helped me find my way again."
ASHLEY: We all did. I'm very, very glad that we were able to take you out of that place.
MATT: "Myself as well. I have aged."
ASHLEY: What did you go there for?
MATT: "We take pockets of Limbo and build locations for ambassadors, places of transport. We were assaulted before we could finish construction. But I must return. I can now recall the things that prevented me from leaving. And I do not need that device. I didn't need it after all at any point. I just forgot that I didn't."
SAM: Do you need any help getting home?
MATT: "No, I believe it's within me. It's the shame of losing one's mind. You forget just the things that come naturally to you. But no longer. Here, what do you love in your heart, little Pike Trickfoot?"
ASHLEY: Well, I love this family, this whole group of people that you see and my best buddy Grog.
MATT: "Hmmm." As he takes a few steps away from you here in the courtyard, looks around the space, closes his eyes and puts his hands out like this, and you watch as if plucked from the very invisible air, matter seems to emerge, gray and formless, like it's been just sucked out of the ether. As it floats, organic, liquid like, his arms begin to spin and swirl, his eyes closed and you watch as it all slowly drifts down and gathers. He moves his hands like an artist would in a feverish painting. Sections of it streak out and harden and harden and harden until after a rapid instant, you blink and there's a set of statues, perfect replicas of each of you. "I hope this is gift enough for the family that you care for."
LAURA: Wow.
ASHLEY: Thank you. This is beautiful.
SAM: Is there a way mine could just be a few inches taller?
MATT: Make a persuasion check.
SAM: 24.
MATT: Raises just a little bit.
LAURA: Did you make that tree?
MATT: "Tree. I did. It was a means to keep alive in a place without much to eat. I think it may have possibly contributed to my madness."
TALIESIN: I'll analyze it later, before you--
MATT: "Anyway, I worry what awaits me back in Shra'kt'lor."
LAURA: Darling, before you go, something else my friend Pike loves is her spell components, which you still have.
MATT: "Right. So sorry."
ASHLEY: It's okay, I forgot about that. Thank you, Vex.
LIAM: You wouldn't happen to have the pinky bone of a dead man, would you? Did you scoop that up by any chance?
MATT: "Unfortunately, I think that was residing somewhere across the chamber," in that chest there.
LIAM: Shame.
MATT: "But should you ever go back to Limbo, it should still be where it was left."
TRAVIS: You know there's a surefire way to get back there, you just got to find the-- by the way, what did you guys do with my cards?
LAURA: Oh, that's a really good question.
SAM: Pandemonium, Grog.
TRAVIS: Oh, they got left there.
ASHLEY: We left them there, yeah, Grog.
TRAVIS: What a shame.
TALIESIN: We can get you some other cards.
ASHLEY: How about we make our own set? We can make drawings on some cards and make your own? We can make a game of it.
TRAVIS: Will they be magic?
SAM: Well, it will be a deck of many things. What things do you want to be on the deck?
TRAVIS: Food. And beer and, like, women and weapons. And, like, blood and, like, peanut butter and, like, lettuce.
TALIESIN: I have children. I'm all right to leave now. This is good.
LAURA: Lettuce would be one of the bad cards.
MARISHA: You have children?
TRAVIS: Yeah, nobody wants lettuce.
ASHLEY: I say we get you some paints. We'll get you a deck of cards.
TALIESIN: Four seconds in the future, all the time. So many tracks!
SAM: Foresight!
MATT: Percy's nose is just bleeding in the corner.
TALIESIN: Yeah, no, yes, it is.
TRAVIS: That would be great.
ASHLEY: We'll make our own set.
TRAVIS: Much safer this way.
ASHLEY: Much safer.
TRAVIS: I hope you find your way back home and whatever you find brings you some comfort after you being gone for so long. Home is, it's so important.
MATT: "That it is. Thank you, big one. Well, mayhaps we cross paths again."
ASHLEY: Yes.
SAM: Hope so.
TALIESIN: You're always welcome.
MATT: In the blink of your eye, he's gone.
TALIESIN: I wish everyone left that quickly.
SAM: That was crazy. I mean crazy. Percy lost an arm.
TRAVIS: Got it back. That coat is fucking destroyed.
TALIESIN: Do you remember the entire speech now?
SAM: No, but--
TALIESIN: I was so hoping you had it written down. I was really hoping.
TRAVIS: I'll turn to Le'veon Bell and say--
LIAM: Is that both characters?
TRAVIS: Yeah. It's a football player. What lies next for you in your path?
LIAM: Well, I will eventually have to return to Vasselheim, but I have heard lovely things of this place. If it is all right--
TALIESIN: There's a shrine to the Raven Queen in the west, if you can find it.
LAURA: It's quite lovely.
TALIESIN: And a room for you, of course.
LIAM: If it's all right, I'll stay awhile with Mr. Bell before we return home.
MATT: Mr. Bell, of which who's now walking into Whitestone. He just retired.
LIAM: I can convince him otherwise.
MARISHA: Lieve, when you were, you know, dead for an hour or two, did you see anybody? Do you remember anything? Did you-- you know, I'm just curious.
LIAM: I've lived a long time and I know many things, but I don't see all, nor does she share all.
MARISHA: No, I know that much.
LIAM: I don't say it out loud, but I cast Commune and I ask three questions. Are their threads relatively safe for the time being?
MATT: Out of the cold dark of your subconscious, you feel the warm breathy voice of the Raven Queen just touch the back of your ear and says, "For now. I watch and they are safe, yes."
LIAM: Will this one be happy?
MATT: "She already is."
LIAM: Will this one eventually be happy?
MATT: "In time."
LIAM: I'm going to go attempt to retrieve Mr. Bell. I will see you all for dinner, I hope.
TALIESIN: Of course. I'll be expecting.
LIAM: He has better qualities that one, better than speaking anyway.
SAM: Mr. Bell?
LIAM: Yes.
SAM: Take your word for it.
(giggling)
TALIESIN: He is fast.
LIAM: See you soon.
SAM: What a day.
LAURA: What a day.
TALIESIN: We should risk our lives and nearly die at least once a year, I think. Seems very reasonable.
LAURA: It's a nice time.
SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: I think I lost my voice in the Pandemonium Plane. It was really windy there.
SAM: It was really dry.
ASHLEY: Dust.
LIAM: Like a concert in the front row.
TALIESIN: I am down a coat. This is not appropriate.
SAM: Oh yes, you need to get some clothes on. Take care of them.
LAURA: You need to change for dinner.
TALIESIN: I'm going to go get dressed.
MATT: As you turn your head back and you see their arms crossed in the corner, long coat, nice, flowing, comfortable, dressed for this temperature you see Cassandra, looking down and say, "Oh brother, I'm going to remember this for quite some time. No, please, just stand there for a moment. Let me take it in."
TALIESIN: I know where you sleep, my lady.
MATT: "And I'll be there sleeping tidily with this memory forever."
TALIESIN: Walk as dignified as I can, right past.
MATT: "I have plenty of dresses if you like."
TALIESIN: I will see the end of you.
MATT: "Well, come, you all look worse for wear. I heard someone say dinner."
LAURA: You know, I'm feeling a little nauseous, actually. I don't know if I want dinner tonight.
MARISHA: Foresight. Foresight. I called it! Foresight. Yeah!
MATT: As you all step in towards Whitestone Castle, we pull back on the beautiful light snowscape of the courtyard of the city.
SAM: As we're walking, I'm just going to subtly take Pike's hand and hold it as we walk in.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: I squeeze it. I squeeze it three times.
SAM: One for yes, two for no, three for-- ooh!
(laughing)
MATT: As you pull away from Whitestone, an evening's rest for our hard fought heroes, having retrieved their long friend and source of perpetual chaos, Grog Strongjaw, from the eternal jaws of Pandemonium's chaos, we'll end the story there. (applause) (cheering) Search for Bob. Search for Grog.
ASHLEY: Heck yeah.
MATT: Both done, well done.
TRAVIS: Holy shit. Dust titan?!
ASHLEY: That was madness.
SAM: Next sequel, Search for Purvan's Finger.
TRAVIS: It's just bouncing around--
MATT: That was a fun one. This form was fun. I had an AC of 26.
LAURA: Next game, we can have our wedding.
LIAM: Oh my god. Your freaking voice.
LAURA: Bro, what the fuck?
ASHLEY: How did you, just in the game?
LAURA: I know. I got to stop talking.
MATT: Yeah, keep that down, keep that down.
LAURA: I got sessions, y'all.
MARISHA: We were going to do the summer vacation one-shot, too, right? Destination wedding.
TALIESIN: Oh my god, they are those assholes, I'm so in.
ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes.
TALIESIN: Absolutely.
MATT: Oh, we're totally going to do a destination wedding adventure, where what could possibly go wrong?
TALIESIN: You're lucky we're not making you Plane Shift to get there, motherfuckers!
TRAVIS: Holy shit.
MATT: I've already got some ideas percolating now.
TALIESIN: Oh no. Oh, Laura, that's so good. That's so good.
MATT: Well, you need to get some rest. We all do. I have to be up in five hours. Guys, thank you for watching, thank you for making this happen. Your fantastic support and having this and now more Kickstarter based one-shots coming down the way, just know that we love you very much and is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering)