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This page is about the first episode of Exandria Unlimited Prime. For the organization, see Nameless Ones. For the individual, see The Nameless.

"The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) is the first episode of Exandria Unlimited Prime. Five burgeoning adventurers explore the Upper Slums of Emon and take a job offered by a mysterious thief, but what they discover may be more dangerous than any of them bargained for...

Synopsis

Pre-Show

Aabria and the rest of the cast introduce themselves. Aabria gives all the players inspiration and since they're pre-recorded, throws to Comfy Matt (and Omar) in the future for Announcements.

Announcements

  • First sponsor tonight is The Deck of Many and their second series of animated spell cards. Pre-order and discounted bundles end soon.
  • Second sponsor is Roll and Play: The Game Master's Fantasy Toolkit, the ultimate book of random tables for D&D and other fantasy RPGs. It's available in print or digital at rollandplaypress.com. Use code CRITICALROLE10 for 10% off through July.
  • While Critical Role is now livestreaming on both Twitch and YouTube, the official moderated live chat is on Twitch. VODs for episodes of Exandria Unlimited are available immediately on Twitch and Mondays at noon Pacific Time on YouTube. Podcasts release a week after streaming.
  • A brief How to Play Uk’otoa from Darrington Press video is on YouTube right now. On June 30th at 4 pm Pacific, Matt, Marisha, Laura, and Travis will be playing a few rounds on both Twitch and YouTube. The VOD will be on YouTube July 2nd. Copies of Uk'otoa are available to purchase in all of the CR shops and in local game stores in the US.
  • The Exandria Unlimited t-shirt and journal are available in all of the CR shops. Both were beautifully designed by Grace Berrios.

Part I

In late 842 PD,[1][2][3] early in the morning in Tal'Dorei's capital Emon, the adventurers begin waking from partying the night before.

  • Orym of the Air Ashari, a brown-haired tattooed halfling with leaf-themed armor, is out for a walk around the crater in the center of the city and then out to Greyskull Keep, where he catches a not-quite-natural scent of something profoundly green coming on a breeze from the east.
  • Dorian Storm, wearing blue clothing that matches his sky-blue skin and jet-black hair that fades to white and light blue, is seated playing his lute and leaning against the townhouse where the group spent the night. He reminisces about the group's previous meeting at a massive party, the Everdawn.
  • Fearne Calloway is also out for a walk with Little Mister, her monkey. Fearne is a hooved faun wearing flowy clothing covered in poisonous flowers, and Little Mister is her wildfire spirit brought into being by Fearne at Thordak's Crater. When Little Mister eats a flowering vine, Fearne is able to use Druidcraft to restore it.
  • Dariax, a young reddish-haired male dwarf, is just waking up on the roof, looking for his spear which he locates in the gutter below covered in pee. He awkwardly jumps down to get it and carries it inside to wash both himself and the spear.
  • Opal wakes up, fixes her makeup and iridescent opalized hair, and puts on her pink sateen crop jacket. She wears a pendant with a small opal. Hung over from the night before, she feels a presence like that of her twin sister, Ted.

Fan art of the pissing contest, by Lap Pun Cheung.[art 1]

The group re-gathers in the townhouse, and discovers they're out of food. They head to a little outdoor restaurant, part of an inn called The Third Wing, where they order breakfast and try to remember what they did during their drunken partying the previous night. It seemed to involve a rooftop contest to see who could pee on Dariax's spear in the gutter below. They also discover that most of the party hasn't been in many taverns, except Dariax who has been in too many to count.

Orym remembers a day or so ago waking up as a group on the road outside Emon, but doesn't remember anything about the week prior. He just remembers being at Thordak's Crater and seeing footprints leading out toward where the Scar of the Cinder King is located. The others are also missing memories of the same week. Dorian seems to remember that they're missing someone, before the thought fades away.

They return to the townhome and see a mysterious stranger with blue hair wearing red leather etch something onto the house and slink into the shadows. The symbol looks like the double-edged axe of the Lawbearer turned into a chalice - the symbol of the Everdawn. Dariax accosts the stranger, who denies doing anything and claims to be a gardener, but eventually she tells them she thought the property was owned by the Cirrospects in Cloudtop, rich gentrifiers. Under questioning, she dispels the illusion on the carved symbol, and reveals it to be a hand clutching a five-pointed star.

Orym asks who she's negotiating for and she tells them the Nameless Ones are those who remain and are picking up the pieces after the Myriad and the Clasp came to blows in Emon a couple of years ago. They were looking at the townhouse as one of several properties to hit to deal with the gentrifying forces in the Upper Slums. They decide to go inside to talk and as Poska enters, she removes the magical symbol on the door.

Poska offers to keep the Cirrospect properties off the hit list of the Nameless Ones and provide the group with information and spending money if they will do a job for her: steal something "nice" and bring it to her warehouse on Darkwater Street. She suggests the ships at the docks but doesn't really care where they get it from, and goes upstairs to wait. After some discussion, they agree to do the job.

Break

Part II

The party heads out through the rain to the port area where they see one large, dark, ominous Issylran ship named the Blightstar among the normal merchant vessels. They pretend to be the crew and walk aboard unaccosted. There is no one on deck and they move to the magically darkened hold where they find the slaughtered crew, weirdly strung up. They sense something swirl by and disappear into the darkness, and Fearne feels a little burst of energy as a swirling vortex of air appears beside her and then dissipates, leaving a tiny slash on her arm. Orym swings at it and connects but it runs away.

Exploring, they find a ornately carved black crate with onyx fixtures that Dariax succeeds in opening with his spear and avoiding the trap it held. The crate contains an onyx circlet shaped like a thorny crown that exudes a strange oily sense. It is surrounded by other valuables, but the sailors died trying to protect the circlet. Fearne grabs 500 platinum, and Dorian picks up the crate containing the circlet but immediately becomes nauseous and vomits oily black ichor. When Orym kicks the crate shut, he too feels nausea.

Dariax picks up the crate with no ill effects, and in a lower hold, Orym finds a massive caged ankheg which they decide to leave alone. When Fearne scouts above-deck, she notices on the docks a person in the crowd in unnaturally dark robes, who makes pointed eye contact with her and disappears in a swirl of black vapor. The party goes up on deck and onto the dock, and there Fearne sees another person in the crowd staring at her. Opal manages to intimidate him and he too disappears in a swirl of black vapor.

They make their way to Darkwater Street, which is filled with warehouses, one unlit. Opal takes 125 of the 500 platinum and enters, and when she finds no one is there she draws the symbol of the Nameless Ones on the bag of coin and tosses it in. Dorian dumps the circlet from its crate into his cloak and gives it to Dariax to keep. At that moment, however, four dark figures appear, chase them into the warehouse, and attack.

Fan art of Dariax's HDYWTDT, by Antonio Demico.[art 2]

Opal is seriously hurt, but Dariax casts Cure Wounds on her and Orym steps in front of her. As the fight continues, one of the figures whispers to Dorian, "Just give us the circlet. We'll let you have everything else here," and a second one says the same thing to Orym. Opal manages to kill one with a Witch Bolt, and two more with her daggers. Dariax gets the final kill with a Sacred Flame.

Looking around, they see a locked door, but when Dariax tries to pick it, the acid trap dissolves his lockpicks. Dorian and Dariax search the bodies while the rest of the party eventually succeeds in breaking the door down. They find a room filled with sealed boxes and barrels, and Orym notices about half of them are from Zephrah. When he opens one, it is filled with 40 pounds of refined residuum, which is not only extremely valuable and useful in magic, but can be converted into suude, a street drug. They also find a baby ankheg beneath a trap door, along with some money and exotic pets, which they leave.

Orym wants to take some of the residuum to the Fire Ashari so they can get word back to the Air Ashari. Eventually, they decide not to return to Poska at the townhouse, keeping the circlet, most of the platinum, and a lot of the residuum, and begin making their way toward the city gate and the road to the Fire Ashari outpost at the Scar of the Cinder King east of Emon.

Epilogue

The rain pours as the weather worsens in Emon. And slowly through the weather, footsteps are heard, and Poska stands in front of her warehouse. She walks in, sees the corpses, the destruction. And then she sees the door at the back of the warehouse open and a box pried open. And at that point, she turns. And into a small sigil tattooed on the inside of her wrist, she speaks three simple words, "Burn it down." And across town in the Upper Slums, the penthouse is set ablaze.

Featured Characters

Player Characters

New

Mentioned

Quotations

  • Opal: Food! Food? They're not getting back to me, so...[4]
  • Opal: You know, I can't walk in flats. My arch won't support it.[5]
  • Dorian: Mm-hmm. Sorry, bacon lips.[6]
  • Fearne: Time is a weird soup, you know.
    Dorian: A soup? "Time's a weird soup"? Is that a saying where you're from?
    Liam: I mean, that kind of tracks.
    Fearne: It is. We all say it where I'm from. It's kind of a… We just say it all the time when things just don't make sense, "Time is a weird soup."
    Dorian: Time is a weird soup.
    Opal: Like a chowder.
    Fearne: Yes, very chunky.
    Opal: Chunky.
    Orym: Chunky time.[7]
  • Orym: Who exactly are you negotiating for?
    Poska: Names are kind of a problem. You know, Clasp, Myriad—all very hush-hush.[8]
  • Orym: What can you give us? And I'm not interested in money. At all. I'm talking about information. Or… you seem to have a philosophy in life. Give you a chance to prove it to us?[9]
  • Dariax: Your old boy here Dariax might be a well-seasoned criminale.[10]
  • Opal: Crime is really in the eye of the beholder.
    Dorian: Is that another one, like, "Time is a weird soup"?
    Opal: Yes.
    Fearne: I've heard of that one, yeah.[11]
  • Orym: I just don't like fuckin' people over, Dariax.
    Dariax: This entire world is built on it. I've spent my whole life gettin' fucked over. If you don't start fuckin' people over you're not going to survive, buddy. I know you're from some highfalutin' mountain town you've been talkin' about, you know, but like, welcome to Emon, man.
    Orym: I know that you are wrong. I know that there's more in this world. I know that temptation and corruption and imperfection is rampant in this world, but that's not all there is.
    Dariax: [ ... ] You don't have to be a bad person to do bad things if it's hurtin' other bad people.[12]
  • Dariax: Look, I speak for all of us, and that's a big responsibility. I wouldn't put that upon you if I didn't care about you!
    Orym: You met me a week ago, and we don't remember six of those seven days![13]
  • Orym: I am not becoming a criminal. I am babysitting.[14]
  • Fearne: Well, finders keepers. That's a saying where I'm from. Do you know it?
    Dorian: That's a saying where everyone's from. [ ... ]
    Dariax: The more time we discuss this, the more trouble we'll be. And as we know, "Time is a sandwich," so we've gotta get goin'.
    Opal: Yup. I have heard that.
    Fearne: (Points and nods in affirmation.) Time is a sandwich.[15]
  • Aabria: Matthew Mercer, how do you want to do this?
    (Everyone cheers and congratulates.)
    Matt: Whoa! That's what it feels like! That's cool![16]

Inventory

Adjustment Count Item Source Destination Notes
Acquired 1 Circlet The Blightstar The party An onyx circlet shaped like a thorny crown, on a pillow inside a crate.
Acquired 500 Platinum coins The Blightstar The party
Expended 125 Platinum coins The party Warehouse Left in a bag marked with the symbol of the Nameless Ones
Acquired 80 Gold coins The assassins in the warehouse The party Found on the corpses.
Acquired 2 Vials of poison The assassins in the warehouse Dariax Found on the corpses.
Acquired A lot Residuum Warehouse The party

External Links

References

  1. Orym remembers waking up the day before the adventure began.  See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 50:34.
  2. Dorian just remembers waking up, then partying, and then the morning the adventure began.  See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 52:32.
  3. The adventurers went to a party, the Everdawn, that started on Civilization's Dawn, on 22 Quen'pillar, but "promises to hold through until the new year" more than two months later.  See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 12:08.
  4. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 31:41.
  5. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 34:35.
  6. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 44:54.
  7. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 53:07.
  8. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:11:18.
  9. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:22:13.
  10. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:26:17.
  11. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:27:04.
  12. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:35:21.
  13. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:37:45.
  14. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 1:58:51.
  15. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 2:48:05.
  16. See "The Nameless Ones" (E1x01) at 3:43:24.

Art:

  1. Fan art of the pissing contest, by Lap Pun Cheung (source). Used with permission.
  2. Fan art of Dariax's HDYWTDT, by Antonio Demico (source). Used with permission.


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