Travis is in a good mood tonight.
- Our two sponsors for the evening are the recurring D&D Beyond and (from inside the family) Jason Charles Miller's new album: "In The Wasteland".
- Sam did prepare in advance for tonight's D&D Beyond ad. Contrary to popular belief, he spends a lot of time coming up with ads...in fact, he has a file of rejected ad ideas that he reads out loud. They are terrible, to say the least...Sam tempts death by mocking the Dallas Cowboys and sings new lyrics to the D&D Beyond jingle (using Caleb's tragic backstory). He also produces a "computer-generated" photo of what he expects Travis and Laura's baby to look like. Laura says it looks like a Ferengi. Marisha says it looks like that guy from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but she can't remember the name. Sam gives Laura flowers to apologize for that last bit. He also reveals that his flask tonight has Laura's picture...minus her eyebrows. Marisha remembered the name: Anthony Kiedis.
- You saw him in Campaign 1 as Garthok, he's been on a number of Geek & Sundry shows, he wrote the theme song for the show...and now Jason Charles Miller has a new album out this week! The album cover for In The Wasteland has a cool design. It's available now, wherever music is streamed or sold. You can buy an autographed CD from Jason's website: jasoncharlesmiller.com. If you like rock, country, metal, or any music in-between, you will probably like this album. If you are familiar with his previous work, In The Wasteland is pretty badass, actually. Matt is very big about music, and Jason's stuff is great. There will be a little video at the break discussing the album.
- The cast made the announcement earlier this week, but Critical Role launched its brand-new online store and is working on brand-new shows for new, independent YouTube and Twitch channels. Laura realizes that none of the cast is wearing the new shirt. Travis has one, he'll put it on during the break. Matt continues, announcing the new Mighty Nein shirt...which already sold out really fast. More have already been ordered, and they are coming in. Only S, M, and 4XL are still sold out.
- Friends of the cast in the Critter community will be on WebDM on Monday, June 24th at 1:00 pm CDT to do a fantastic fundraiser D&D stream with an all-female cast (including Satine Phoenix), benefiting the Girls Empowerment Network in Texas. Go to twitch.tv/webdm (or twitch.tv/criticalrole, because the new Twitch channel will be hosting them), check it out, and help a great charitable cause. Liam adds that it is not to be confused with "Web MD".
- The standard editions of the "Vox Machina: Origins" TPB are still available on the Geek & Sundry and Project Alpha online stores.
- Talks Machina is, of course, every Tuesday evening at 7:00 pm PDT, where our fantastic host Brian W. Foster talks about tonight's episode, next week. A few of the cast will be present to discuss what transpired.
Previously on Critical Role
"So, last we left off: The Mighty Nein had completed their first of two ventures they had agreed to complete in the name of the Gentleman: heading northward towards Berleben, traversing the dangerous Labenda Swamp, freeing the once-endangered safe house from the encroaching merrow dangers that had destroyed and decimated the people that were working there at the time, and freeing it up for future use. You had acquired a bird friend in the tiny Kiri, that is along you, dagger in hand. (She sticks it in folks.)
"You gathered your things and went back to the open road, where you headed to the crossroads, did some trading. Through the evening, jumped into a few old friends, who were looking to rob you. Sent them on their way, and then continued northward, until eventually you came upon the outskirts of the Silberquel Ridge, to the Gnomish city of Hupperdook.
"Upon arriving in this city (supplies in), you took in the industrial sights: the elements of it that are heavy machinery and the creation of new types of clockwork-based technologies. The stacks of soot and steam sent outward. The war machines being developed for use to the eastern lines - where the conflict with Xhorhas is now brewing. You made a friend (the name of Rissa), who said in exchange for a round of drinks in the evening, would show you around the town for a bit. And upon making your way to the upper level, you were given a brief tour of the vicinity, which seemed strangely empty. The streets very well-decorated for some seeming celebration, but nobody present. And as the sun slowly went down, the town came to life as all the work whistles blew, the sounds of merriment began, and suddenly - as the sun goes vanishing behind the distant mountains, the golds and oranges and subtle purples of the sunset begin to take over - the sound of music and laughter begins to take the streets..."
Rissa explains that the gnomish culture is to work hard every day, and party hard every night. They are passed by waves of fast moving families and people, running either to get home and get into their party clothes, or already on their way to their destinations. There are sparklers and fireworks, maypoles, cloth flower necklaces, bands playing and families picnicking. Beau buys some firecrackers, and a flower necklace for Jester.
They enter the Blushing Tankard, a large tavern with a stage and a piano, and rent four rooms. Jester plays "Chopsticks", badly, at the piano. Caleb casts Haste on her and she switches to "The Entertainer", not so badly, when the musician comes over and kicks her off. Caleb throws a gold in the tip hat, saying it's for the lady, and Jester kisses him on the cheek.
The innkeeper explains that later that evening they'll be having the weekly Hour of Honor, a drinking contest. The party snags a table, but Rissa is taunted by some other gnomes, who make fun of her "brain-sick dad". The team chases them off, and she tells them her father is an inventor. The room has become very lively, with music, people swinging from the chandelier, and scarf dancers on the tables. Envious, Jester and Nott start working up their own dance number. The party decides they should compete in the Hour of Honor later.
Figuring that Kiri needs a babysitter while the rest of them are drinking, Fjord decides that hiring Irena or another person to look after Kiri is the solution, and obliquely tries to ask Irena if this is possible. Irena misunderstands Fjord as asking if she'll be his companion for the night along with others for the rest of the group, much to Fjord's chagrin. Horribly embarrassed and uncomfortable, Fjord gives her four gold as a deposit and escapes. Yasha volunteers to babysit Kiri for the night and takes her upstairs.
The rest go out into the festival that is the town right now to spend the hour before the drinking contest is to begin. Beau tries to buy more firecrackers, and Nott asks the vendor for "something more powerful," spooking him into closing up shop and leaving. Nott thanks Beau for taking care of Caleb during his PTSD episode in the swamp, and asks how she knew about Hupperdook. Beau says she worked in the Cobalt Soul library before she met them. She grew up with a super protective father and rebelled, getting involved in illegal trading, extortion, and bootlegging her father's wine. Her father paid the Cobalt Soul monks to take her away, and they saw potential in her. Beau still has a wineskin of her family's wine.
Caleb and Jester share that they both know how to waltz. When he asks her to name three more hidden skills she has, she lists painting, baking cinnamon scones, and the third thing is something that she wants to talk to Fjord about because if he's that inexperienced, maybe he should take some lessons. At that moment, Caleb spots a bookstore, but it's closed and he can't see what if anything they have for sale. Jester buys flowers from an adorable little gnome girl.
They return to the Blushing Tankard, where Irena eplains the rules and introduces the defending champion team headed by Ol' Blemmy. The Nein outbid other teams for the right to compete, anteing 30 gold, and decide that Jester will sit out the contest, leaving their contestants as Beau, Caleb, Fjord, Molly, and Nott. Jester promises Caleb not to let him fall asleep face down in the gutter.
The contest with Blemmy's crew begins unevenly with a victory by Molly and a loss by Beau, but Caleb and Fjord decisively defeat their opponents and win the contest. A furious Blemmy offers double or nothing, him against Nott (whose secret weapon is that she has looked into the dodecahedron). They accept. Using the alias "Atto", Nott succeeds in putting Blemmy under the table and winning 48 gold back, after the house's cut.
All of them are seriously drunk. Fjord disappears upstairs to use the facilities and doesn't come back. Molly uses Purgation on Beau to slightly sober her up. Jester asks Caleb to waltz with her, and he accepts. They manage to have a very nice little waltz in the middle of the area, joined after a while by several other patrons, and Molly with Nott. After a few minutes, Caleb drunkenly says, "You were always a better dancer than me, Astrid. You were always so good." He breaks away, apologizes, and starts to stumble away, but Jester grabs his jacket, walks him upstairs, and tucks him into bed.
In the morning, Beau realizes that her coin purse is missing. After Jester quickly searches the room and fails to find it, she knocks on the doors of the others and the purses of all who took part in the Hour of Honor are missing. Beau is furious.
- Jason Charles Miller's "In the Wasteland" promo
- Asinine Wisdom (Trailer)
- "Who's in Your Superhero Metal Band?" (Wednesday Club)
- Gag Reel! Day vs. Clare Grant | Magic: The Gathering: Spellslingers
They develop a list of suspects. Jester remembers a sweet little girl who she gave a silver to, who was walking around the room during the competition. They go down to talk to Irena and find Rissa there as well, and get breakfast. Irena and a passing Crownsguard both seem to think that keeping a lot of money on their persons was pretty stupid, and under Jester's Zone of Truth Irena denies knowing anything about it. They decide to visit Rissa's father, and to investigate Ashton and Fitz, the two gnome boys who were taunting Rissa the previous day. Before they leave, Jester casts Locate Object on the wooden drink tokens they won, but finds nothing.
They go to Rissa's house first, and meet her father, Cleff Tinkertop, the proprietor of Tinkertop Inventions, a shop filled with hundreds of tiny clockwork objects. Jester buys Kiri a music box. Cleff shows them the Tinkertop Bolt Blaster 1000, a partially-clockwork, enchanted, repeating crossbow. It costs 2000 gp, but he'll give it to them if the party can destroy a clockwork automaton he built for the wardens of the Gearhold Prison. Unfortunately it had some faults and they couldn't control it. It's sealed under the prison now, and he's still paying off his fine for it.
The party then visits the forge where Ashton and Fitz work. They manage to intimidate and terrify both boys, who deny knowing anything about the theft but agree to investigate for them and scamper off. Their boss notes they had it coming and this may be the making of them. It also leaves their list of suspects at two: Ol' Blemmy] and the little beggar girl. On the way to Blemmy's home, Jester casts Locate Object and gets a blip on the tokens. She runs toward it, and they find it in a boarded up butcher's shop in the commercial district.
Beau climbs onto the roof and looks through a smokestack, seeing four figures huddled together in a corner. She drops in a firecracker, and hears screaming. They all burst inside, and see four gnomish children in the corner, scared out of their minds. One of them is the mysterious little girl from the tavern. The oldest says they're just trying to get by, and had no idea how much money the party had on them. Their parents Gilda and Wallace Schuster are gone, arrested months ago by the tithe collectors for worshiping Avandra, the Changebringer. They've survived by pickpocketing ever since. When the tithe collectors come back, any minute now, they fear they'll be taken to an orphanage in Rexxentrum.
This pushes buttons for nearly all of the Mighty Nein, but their fear is that they are on a timetable with their job for The Gentleman. Fjord explains that he was in an orphanage as a child and they're terrible places, and if they can help, he'd be most grateful. That tips the balance and they agree to spend a day or two on it. They leave Kiri with the Schuster children and head out to scout the prison.
- Irena Clommop
- Austin Schuster
- Gail Schuster
- Jude Schuster
- Layla Schuster
- Cleff Tinkertop
- Molly: Amaze me! Baffle me! Make me forget where I am! (when Ireena asks him what he'd like to drink)
- Ireena: Would you look at this strapping mass of green and tooth?!
- Beau: Anyone else want a sip of my heritage?
- Caleb: (singing) Oh, The Mighty Nein is The Mighty Nein. The Mighty Nein is The Mighty Nein. The mightiest nine that ever neined! Nine mighties, mighties nine!
- Caleb: You were always a better dancer than me, Astrid. You were always so good.
- Caleb: (being put to bed by Jester) You are blue.
Jester: Yes, I am, and you are very nice and a little stinky.
Caleb: (singing) One of those things is true, and you are blue.
Jester: I'm sure Astrid loves you very much. I tuck him in.
- Matt: (about the infuriated Marisha/Beau) I love that woman.
- Sam's flask bears a picture of Laura with the eyebrows cut out in this episode (presumably used to create the "computer generated" picture of her baby).
- Nott uses the alias "Atto" in this episode.
- Fan art of Hupperdook at night, by Zoe Roellin (source). Used with permission.
- Fan art of Fjord getting flustered while talking to Irena Clommop, by Elaine Tipping (source). Used with permission.
- Fan art of Mighty Nein competing in the hour of honor, by GalacticJonah (source). Used with permission.
- Fan art of the waltz, by Electra Jacobs (source). Used with permission.
- Fan art of Beau's reaction, by Elaine Tipping (source). Used with permission.