Pre-Show[]
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.
ALL: We play Dungeons & Dragons!
MATT: (laughs) It's our last episode before the holidays. (cheering)
MATT: We're getting comfy. At least I am, and I'm glad everyone else is, too.
ASHLEY: That was such a good idea.
TRAVIS: Goodbye, 2023.
ASHLEY: So mad I didn't put on PJs.
MATT: You still look comfy, though.
ASHLEY: I am.
MATT: It counts.
LAURA: Yeah, you look cute.
ASHLEY: Yeah, it counts. All right, all right.
SAM: You're in knitwear. (laughter)
MATT: Well, before we get into our session tonight and our last session of the year, we have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor, which, well, Sam, the last sponsor of 2023 is Meta and their new action role-playing VR game exclusive to Meta Quest, Asgard's Wrath 2. Got anything special for them?
SAM: Boy, do I ever, Matt. Asgard's Wrath 2 is available now only on Meta Quest and free when you buy Meta Quest 3. Travel across vast realms to battle gods and monsters in pursuit of the trickster god, Loki, who threatens to undo the threads of the universe. Alongside Egyptian gods, you'll fight deadly warriors and mythical creatures, convert loyal animals into your own warrior followers as you explore a massive, free-roaming world and solve god-scale puzzles!
ASHLEY: Whoa!
MATT: What?
SAM: And experienced gameplay like never before with groundbreaking VR.
MATT: That was actually quite nice, Sam. But I thought you mentioned you had something particularly special for them.
SAM: Oh, that's right, yes. As 2023 draws to a close, we've made so many wonderful advertising memories together. (laughter)
SAM: Some made us laugh--
MATT: Oh no.
SAM: -- some made us cry, but all made us want to buy things. So thanks to Asgard's Wrath 2. Let's take a look back at a magical year of sponsorship.
MARISHA: Oh.
LAURA: (laughs) Okay, then a song plays.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
SAM: Or not if the editors want to fuck with me. (laughter) Maybe this is still going right now. I don't know! ♪ Remember the memories ♪ ♪ Cherish the memories ♪ ♪ Of 2023 ♪ ♪ Remember all of the memories ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Ahh ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Remember all of the memories ♪ ♪ Remember all of the memories ♪
SAM: Oh, wasn't that lovely?
MARISHA: Yeah, so nice.
MATT: That was memorable.
ASHLEY: Wow.
TRAVIS: Wow, it's so good.
SAM: Thanks.
ASHLEY: I'll never forget.
SAM: Learn more at asgardswrath2.com. See Child Safety Guidance online. Meta accounts are for 10 plus. Asgard's Wrath 2 is for ages 17 plus. Bundle offer ends 1/27/24. Terms apply. Thank you, Meta, for sponsoring this episode. Now, Matt, happy holidays and wrath to you.
ASHLEY: Oh.
MATT: Thank you, Sam.
LAURA: I just want to know if--
MARISHA: Slack.
LAURA: -- it's intentional--
MARISHA: Did you have to say--
LIAM: Saying "Ass-gard" over and over again.
LAURA: You say "Ass-gard" instead of Asgard.
SAM: Oh, is it Asgard?
LIAM: Well, it's not Ass-gard.
ASHLEY: Ass-gard.
LIAM: That's a different product.
SAM: Like an ascot, right? It's like an ascot you put on.
MATT: No.
TRAVIS: No, it's--
SAM: I don't know anything about anything. (laughter)
SAM: I'm a bad geek.
MATT: Indeed. Our next sponsor is Verizon. Want to score big for the holidays? Verizon has the perfect deal for you. Now until December 31st, 31st of December, you can get a year of Netflix on them when you purchase an annual subscription of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate through Verizon Plus Play. That's a $275 value, apparently. There you go, Ashley. Asking the right questions. Play hundreds of your favorite games like Starfield, Halo Infinite, Forza Motorsport, and more on your console, PC, or Cloud. But again, this deal ends on the 31st. So go check out vz.to/criticalrole for all details. Thank you, Verizon, for sponsoring this episode. (applauding)
MATT: Marisha.
MARISHA: As Matt has mentioned I think like three times now--
SAM: Ass-Matt.
MARISHA: Ass-Matt. (laughter)
MARISHA: As Matt has mentioned, this is the last show of 2023.
TRAVIS: Are you sure?
MARISHA: Next week, we're on break for the holidays. So episode two of Candela Obscura, Circle of Tide & Bone, will actually air on January 4th. Then we will return with Critical Role on January 11th at 7:00pm. But yeah, as always, keep up with our weekly programming schedule that you can find on critrole.com. Now that it's the holidays, you can use this time to catch up on Bells Hells.
SAM: I've heard of them.
MARISHA: Or Midst, which is like great cozy fall vibes, I feel like.
SAM: It is, yeah.
MARISHA: Check out Midst or Candela previous chapters, or even one-shots like our Red Nose Day one with Tony Hale and Sam Richardson.
MATT: Woo!
LIAM: Yay!
MATT: Speaking of Red Nose Day, Ashley.
ASHLEY: Hey! There we go. In the spirit of the holidays-- (laughter)
ASHLEY: -- there is still time to donate to our CRF campaign helping to end the cycle of child poverty worldwide.
TRAVIS: Yay!
ASHLEY: So if you have the means, your donation can make a huge difference.
SAM: You're getting lower and lower.
ASHLEY: So. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Don't look at me. So please visit critrole.com/rednoseday for more information and to donate until December 31st.
TRAVIS: (whistling)
MATT: Thank you, Ashley. Thank you all so much for supporting this Red Nose Day push. Laura, you're up next, I believe.
LAURA: Hi. Guess what?
TRAVIS: Hi.
LAURA: I have this.
ALL: Ooh.
MARISHA: It's so cool.
LAURA: It's a bust of Keyleth and Percy, which I think is a really great pairing that we don't--
ASHLEY: Yeah.
SAM: That's true.
LAURA: We don't promote enough. I love these two together.
MARISHA: We don't talk anymore.
TALIESIN: No.
MARISHA: No.
TALIESIN: I mean, back in the day, we were like, "Hey, you're titled, I'm titled. Who are these people?"
MARISHA: I already know everything.
MATT: To be fair, you two are still thick as thieves in Campaign 3, just on the scale of political machinations.
LAURA: Right. Anyway, check this out.
SAM: Yeah. We digress.
LAURA: It's a Keyleth and Percy bust. It's the last in our series with Dark Horse. Based on Vox Machina Origins "cominics." (comics) We have cominics.
LIAM: The cominics. We do cominics!
LAURA: Guess what? I can highlight details on this, like the names engraved on The List.
SAM: Ooh.
LAURA: Check it out.
MATT: That's actually really cool.
LAURA: Also, there's an easter egg of a Sun Tree right here.
SAM: Oh, really?
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Oh, cool.
MARISHA: Oh! Aw, that's awesome.
LAURA: There's a little Whitestone symbol right there.
MATT: Oh yeah, in the back?
LAURA: And the spilled wine I love. It's just so great. Anyway, don't miss out on assembling this legendary collection and pre-order now exclusively at darkhorsedirect.com.
MATT: Hell yeah.
ASHLEY: ♪ Dot com ♪
MATT: Fantastic. Thank you so much, Laura.
LAURA: You're welcome.
MATT: In case you missed it, the team over at CritRoleStats announced they'll be sunsetting their site on January 1st, so. Oh, hi, Dani.
DANI: Hi! Had to be part of the shout out to CritRoleStats because I love them.
MATT: Of course. It's important. So we all here wanted to give a special shout out and a huge thank you to all the lovely folks over there for their tireless efforts over these past eight years. They've been here since the very beginning, essentially, yeah.
DANI: Pretty, yeah. I think August was when they started because I could tell that by their Twitter.
MATT: Boom, there you go. For those who don't know, from character sheets to damage counters, dice roll stats.
DANI: Live tweeting.
MATT: Live tweeting. So many more things they have been putting out there for the community to enjoy and keep track of and be on board for. So you, CritRoleStats, you've all done such incredible work and you've been such an invaluable community resource, and we will be eternally grateful for you. Excited for all of your future endeavors, and to you Andrew K., Singing Badger, Lauren K., and Katherine K., thank you so much for absolutely everything.
DANI: Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything.
MATT: Sincerely. If you haven't yet, or want to go now again, go visit critrolestats.com for more info, and of course, ways to support them in all the things they have going forward. So we wish you all the best, all the love, and we'll see you around. Thank you, Dani.
DANI: Thank you, guys.
MATT: And thank you, guys. With that, I believe that concludes--
LAURA: (Cockney) Who wants this in front of them? Who wants it?
TALIESIN: I'll go for it.
MATT: -- our end of year announcements.
TRAVIS: Ho ho ho.
MATT: And with that, children, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of... Critical Role.
♪ Critical ♪
♪ Critical ♪
♪ It's Thursday ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪
ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪
♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪
LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪
♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪
MATT: How do you want to do this?
ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪
♪ He might! ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪
LIAM: ♪ From the healer ♪
♪ To the renegade ♪
MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪
MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪
♪ Taking more chances ♪
SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪
MARISHA: You can certainly try.
ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ It's Thursday night. ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight ♪
♪ Oh, get ready, ♪
♪ Get ready, ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪
(flames whooshing)
Part I[]
MATT: And welcome back. (laughter)
MATT: So-- (laughter)
MATT: Man.
LAURA: Do you want it?
MARISHA: No, you keep it.
TRAVIS: Just get us out of this year, Matt. (laughter)
MATT: I'm trying! We're so close. We're so close, Travis.
TALIESIN: Oh, oh boy.
MARISHA: It's too true.
MATT: Last we left off-- (laughter)
MATT: -- Bells Hells, after volunteering to be the recon mission to Ruidus while the rest of Exandria prepared for a possible incursion or an assault upon the red moon, had some inner turmoil. In doing so, had to regather themselves, rebuild some trust. Fearne, who particularly had been emotionally wounded in this endeavor, wanted to revisit her Nana Morri. The group went to the Fey Realm, back to Ligament Manor, where some reunions with your parents also came with some revelations about your true nature. A number of group building exercises were developed via Nana Morri and FCG, in which you all proved yourselves to be on the path to recovery. Some work has been done with some work still left before you. But feeling a little more confident about your troop, you've returned and decided, well, you decided, Fearne, to take the Spark of Rau'shan into yourself. Through the ritual's completion, you embraced the fiery shred of the ancient primordial fire titan, and upon making contact with Ashton, awoke the shard within him. Two of you now coming into full realization of the power and the spiritual essence that you both carry and have bonded to. You rushed out of the garden at the top of Ligament Manor while the rest of your group were left to ruminate on what they just witnessed. And that's where we come back in as you watch the fiery spirit Fearne and the, I'd say, (sighs) I'm trying to find a word to use that you guys aren't going to make something sexual about.
SAM: We would never.
MARISHA: Never.
MATT: Never.
LAURA: What are you talking about, Matt?
MARISHA: It's Christmas.
ASHLEY: Why would you say something like that?
MATT: I know. No, the--
TRAVIS: I'd fuck me. (laughter)
MATT: Ashton leaves with Fearne. I'll leave it there. (laughter) I was like, I'm not going to say swollen. No. Not going to say-- (laughter)
TRAVIS: Engorged.
MATT: But as you stand in the middle of this garden, the nearby protective field having dropped and Allura taking in what she had witnessed as Nana Morri grins off in her awkward way towards the prideful vanishing flame of her granddaughter. What would you like to do?
SAM: (exhales)
LAURA: (exhales)
LIAM: Well, tomorrow we're doing it, yeah? We're heading out?
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Yeah, that's the plan, yeah. If time bends the way it's supposed to.
LAURA: How did I just see your shirt just now?
ASHLEY: Oh my god.
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
MARISHA: That shirt's dope.
LAURA: That's awesome.
ASHLEY: That is a really cool shirt.
MARISHA: Can I have that shirt when you're done wearing it?
ASHLEY: (laughs)
SAM: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: I like that shirt.
ASHLEY: (laughs) It's amazing.
MARISHA: (laughs) (laughter)
LIAM: Anyways.
LAURA: Sorry. Nana Morri will send us back to Exandria and then straight on?
ASHLEY: To Mordor.
SAM: Yeah. She can send us right to where we're going, to the place?
MATT: (Allura) "I believe part of the reason that I'd come along was to--"
SAM: Oh, that's right. You're going to do it.
MATT: "-- assist in that."
SAM: Sorry, Allura.
MATT: "That's all right."
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MARISHA: But Nana Morri can help us make sure time doesn't get weird, right?
LIAM: Doesn't dilate?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: "I certainly hope so." You all glance over to Nana Morri, who's stumbled back towards the descent, into the tree, clapping excitedly after Fearne.
LAURA: (laughs) Maybe we should follow?
SAM: Oh, yeah.
LAURA: Or do you think they want, I don't know, some--
SAM: Some titan alone time?
LAURA: Yeah, some emperor and empress--
LIAM: Maybe they're making some lava.
LAURA: -- privacy.
SAM: Some steam?
LAURA: (laughs)
LIAM: Well, you have stone and fire.
SAM: Sure.
MATT: (laughs)
LIAM: Magma.
LAURA: Do you think that the stones merged with them in a way that would change their personalities at all? Or do you think it's just about physicality?
SAM: Oh boy.
MARISHA: I know that's why Fearne was a little nervous to take it to begin with, but I still feel like that's on them, right? They have control over that.
SAM: Maybe? I don't know. This is old stuff, right? What if it does change them? But you know what? We all just got through a big thing where we're going to be honest with each other and forthright and reach out to each other if we need help. So maybe if it has changed them in any sort of negative way, they'll tell us.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: What if every once in a while, though, an old stone titan smashes through Ashton's head and he's like: Ah! The ancient times!
SAM: I mean, that's cool, too.
TRAVIS: That would be great.
MARISHA: That would be awesome! (laughter)
ASHLEY: Ah! The ancient times!
SAM: Like the Kool-Aid Man?
MARISHA: Yes.
LAURA: Yeah!
MARISHA: But in flashes.
SAM: Are you okay?
MARISHA: Yes.
SAM: You just had some Delilah stuff going on.
MARISHA: Yes.
SAM: You're talking about people having things in them that changes their personality, are you the same?
MARISHA: I don't know. I think so. Maybe it's an exercise for all of us.
SAM: To just be self-aware?
MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
SAM: Okay. Do you get urges to do things?
MARISHA: Yes.
SAM: Like what? Like bad things? Like kill people?
MARISHA: I had to be away from the shard whenever it was out because I kept having this impulsive urge to reach out and grab it, and take it.
SAM: But now it's in them. So are you going to rip them open to get it out?
TRAVIS: (gasps)
SAM: Don't look happy about that Chetney. (laughter)
MARISHA: No, I don't think so. I think now that it's formed with their essence, I don't think she wants it.
SAM: That's just a guess, though, right?
MARISHA: Yes, yes.
SAM: Okay.
TRAVIS: Is anybody making a wish before we leave?
LAURA: Making a wish?
TRAVIS: Yeah, with Nana Morri.
LAURA: Do you mean requesting a favor from Nana Morri?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
LAURA: Are you going to do that?
TRAVIS: I mean, I was thinking about it.
MARISHA: What are you going to wish for?
TRAVIS: There's so many things that are not wrong with me. It's hard to decide.
MARISHA: To look young again or to be young again? Didn't you say that?
TRAVIS: Probably that one, yeah.
SAM: Well, yeah, but then we also learned all about your family and stuff that--
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: You seemed pretty convinced that they're not out there. But what if they are?
TRAVIS: I don't know.
SAM: You're just not into them?
TRAVIS: Yeah, kind of. It been so long, a couple hundred years.
MARISHA: Also, they left him. That's not what family does.
TRAVIS: I think they just were trying to cover their asses. A big red dragon running across the countryside is pretty terrifying. But it was secrets. So I decided to share.
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Well, yeah, but you're thinking about it, if it's in there.
TRAVIS: I had to dig deep.
LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)
MARISHA: I think it is that he's telling the truth. (laughs) That one.
SAM: I don't think so.
TRAVIS: But what if I could be young again? I'd have a whole head of hair. A different nose.
LAURA: Did you have a different nose when you were younger?
TRAVIS: Yeah, I've broken this one a lot.
LAURA: Oh.
TRAVIS: Yeah, can't you tell?
LAURA: Well now that you point it out, yeah.
LIAM: You've broken it or others have broken it?
TRAVIS: Ah, that's the question.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: I don't know, I just kind of want to know. I mean, Fearne, you've seen your Nana--
SAM: Is she gone?
TALIESIN: She's not here.
LAURA: Fearne's down with--
TRAVIS: Shit!
LAURA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Fearne.
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
TRAVIS: I was just thinking about it.
SAM: Being young again?
TRAVIS: Well, sure!
MARISHA: But what if it's like, you know--
TRAVIS: What, it comes with a--
MARISHA: Like a trap, yes.
TRAVIS: Awesome. I'm so near the end of the road, anyway. I'm up for it.
MARISHA: Like you wish to be young again, but she physically bamfs you back 200 years and we lose you in this fight!
TRAVIS: Yeah, but in the meantime, you get the sexiest son of a bitch that's ever lived next to you for that whole fight.
LAURA: No, what if she instantly bamfs you back? Then we don't have you.
MARISHA: What if you lose all of your memories because it also sets your brain back and you're a dummy?
SAM: Or what if you're not too specific and she makes you a baby? Then we have to take care of a baby.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LAURA: Oh, Baby Chet?
TRAVIS: I thought you were trying to talk me out of this. (laughter)
LIAM: There's also an argument to be made that we already have the sexiest motherfucker on the planet walking around with us.
SAM: Well, I don't know about that, guys. (laughter)
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Might be worth the ask.
SAM: What if it turns you into a baby, but you can still talk and think like you are now?
MARISHA: Oh!
TRAVIS: Boss Baby.
MARISHA: Boss Baby, yes.
SAM: Yeah, like Boss Baby. (laughter)
MARISHA: What if he just turns into Alec Baldwin?
SAM: Yeah.
MARISHA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
TRAVIS: I might be here for it.
SAM and MARISHA: (laugh)
TRAVIS: Nobody suspects a baby. (laughter)
SAM: They don't!
MARISHA: That's true. (laughter)
MARISHA: That's true!
LAURA: But you still can't-- You don't have full body function like a baby. You know, like--
TRAVIS: Ugh.
LAURA: (laughs)
LIAM: It's complicated.
ASHLEY: It's all weird.
LAURA: You're all cross eyed and wibbly wobbly.
TRAVIS: Devil's in the details. (laughter)
SAM: There's only really one way to find out. Nana Morri, make me Boss Baby. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Make me a baby. Oh my god.
LAURA: I always found it weird that Nana Morri could just grant wishes.
TRAVIS: Really, because either way, I'm going to end up in a diaper pretty soon. (laughter)
MARISHA: Yes, yeah. Go full circle?
LIAM: Well, they talked about-- Fearne's talked about it. Am I remembering this wrong? Deals, granting deals?
LAURA: Well, yeah, I knew she could make things happen, but I didn't think she could just grant wishes.
LIAM: I don't know.
LAURA: I don't know.
LIAM: But--
LAURA: Maybe I'm wrong.
LIAM: The folks upstairs in the topiary garden, or are we upstairs now?
LAURA: We're upstairs now.
MATT: You're still up in the garden.
LAURA: We're standing next to them.
LIAM: Those ones over there?
SAM: Well, everything's upstairs, too.
MATT: Which, you look back, and you know--
LIAM: That's true.
MATT: -- there are a handful of the ones that were closer to the center part of the garden that the leaves have burned away and there's remnants of charred bone left behind.
LAURA: That could be you, Chet.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
LAURA: Or any of us.
MARISHA: Are any of those bones intact?
TRAVIS: Are you saying that in a bad way or a good way?
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: I don't know.
TRAVIS: Oh.
SAM: You're just taking bones?
MARISHA: These are good bones.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: These are good bones. (laughs)
MARISHA: They are, look at them.
ASHLEY: This one's got good bones.
MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: (laughs)
LAURA: Well, don't take the whole body, you know. Leave some of it for Nana Morri.
MARISHA: I'll put that one back.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: That's good.
MATT: While you're collecting the rest of your bones, the two of you darting down into Ligament Manor, what are you doing in your current realized transformation?
LIAM: ♪ Let's get it on ♪
TALIESIN: I am trying to skate through the earth at full fucking speed. It's great.
ASHLEY: Wait, okay, I have an idea. Should we see if we can make lava?
SAM: I thought I heard it, too.
TRAVIS: Oh, I did, too.
LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)
TRAVIS: They fucking.
TALIESIN: Yes.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MARISHA: Let's make love-a.
LIAM: Will you be my lava?
ASHLEY: (laughs)
TRAVIS: I lava you.
ASHLEY and MARISHA: (laugh)
TALIESIN: Shush, y'all.
ASHLEY: Oh. I didn't realize that. I just got it. Okay.
LAURA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: I'm going to-- What should we do? Should I shoot some fire at you and see if you turn into lava?
TALIESIN: I mean, we can try. I'm also-- I kicked in a rage because I was curious and I hit number three so I am going full speed and I'm, yeah-- I'm very fast right now.
MATT: Yeah, you're a living rock slide right now.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah. So. Fire away and I'll see if I can-- I'm going to try and use the--
ASHLEY: All right, Scorching Ray.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: I'm going to start with a Scorching Ray.
TRAVIS: At 9th-level. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Don't do that. I'm kind of injured right now.
ASHLEY: I'm just going to do it at 2nd-level.
TALIESIN: Okay.
ASHLEY: Okay? First one is 13.
TALIESIN: Oh boy.
ASHLEY: That doesn't hit. 16?
TALIESIN: Doesn't hit. I'm going to--
ASHLEY: There we go. 26.
TALIESIN: I'll take that, yeah.
MATT: Yeah. So, in this instance, like with any other creative combination of abilities that you wish, as you blast the side of his shoulder with the Scorching Ray, those veins that once glowed orange when he was in the process of his first aborted transformation, essentially, alight with renewed fiery orange power. You can feel the heat emanate as you swing your hammer. As it does, the edge of the hammer (flames erupt) blasts with a burst of molten rock that seems to extend into shards of hot spikes before it crumbles away. So, like any cool creative use of combined abilities, there could be some interesting creative possibilities and outcomes.
ASHLEY: That could be cool.
TALIESIN: Holy shit.
ASHLEY: That could be fun.
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Oh, we're going to have to fuck around with that.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Oh god, what else can we fucking do?
ASHLEY: Well--
TALIESIN: Oh, man.
MARISHA: Fuck around and make lava.
LAURA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: That's cool. Well? Should we head back to everybody? Or do you want to keep--
TRAVIS: Eruption.
ASHLEY: Trying-- Playing with our powers? (laughs)
TALIESIN: I'm not quite-- Let's fuck around a little bit more.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: I'm not really--
MATT: Yeah, so you're running through the tree but you're still, it's a massive structure. There isn't any unworked stone up in the tree. Everything that's up here, has been smoothed, chiseled, and built into place. So you eventually exit the base of the tree itself and come to areas of the forest floor where it's still heavily overgrown being the Fey Realm, but there are some areas with broken shards of shale and you can step into it. That sensation you briefly felt when you were in Whitestone, that sense of stepping into a warm bath, your foot touches it, and as you will it, you sink into that section of the ground, and you watch as Ashton in his transformed state just-- (shloops)
ASHLEY: Where'd you go?
MATT: -- vanish.
TALIESIN: I come up right behind you.
ASHLEY: That is a very cool trick.
TALIESIN: I'm very amused by that.
ASHLEY: Are you in control of it or you stepped on the stone and you just went into a puddle?
TALIESIN: I'm falling back, vanishing again, and popping up right in front.
ASHLEY: Oh my god, I love this.
TALIESIN: No, this is pretty good. This is pretty easy.
ASHLEY: Wow.
TALIESIN: Are you, like-- Is she solid, just on fire; or is it more like that weird flame that is slightly, just a flame and not really a body?
MATT: Got you. Best that you can tell, just looking, it's that human torch sort of-- You know, you see solid in the flame, but the heat warps everything, so it's hard to really tell.
TALIESIN: I don't think I can drag anybody down there. But I'm going to-- May I, let's see.
ASHLEY: Yeah, let's try it.
TALIESIN: I'm going to, yeah. I'm going to hold your hand and try and see if I can drop somebody into the earth.
MATT: Okay. You vanish into the rock and your hand (thuds) hits the ground where it was.
TALIESIN: Boo.
ASHLEY: Dang.
TALIESIN: Damn.
ASHLEY: That would've been really cool.
TALIESIN: That would've been really cool.
ASHLEY: That's all right, maybe we can still futz around with that and see if we can figure that out somehow.
TALIESIN: Yeah, and I can also-- I think I can keep tempo. If you run around, I'm going to try and keep tempo and see if there's a way to constantly be a moving shield.
ASHLEY: All right. I'm going to start running then.
TALIESIN: I'm going to try and see if I can maintain speed and see if there's just enough of you that you can, not quite fire through the rock, but like, actually use it as a moving stone wall.
MATT: So the area here, because it's fairly overgrown, you do notice in the first couple bits of movement that you do, the various thick roots that grow through it impact you like you're running into a root. It's only the actual loose, earthen rock that you can just drift through. Anything that's not stone or earth that you impact would be like running into it as you go. So you get the sense very quickly that the Fey Realm is not, at least the area you're in right now, this heavily overgrown, wooded area is not the most conducive to this sort of experimentation. But you do get the sense that you can move pretty quickly. Like at your normal speed through the stone.
ASHLEY: Is there an area that I know of that's a more open area? Like a meadow, or-- Where does it seem that the trees are less dense?
MATT: You do know of one older ruin. In fact, it's the basis for the ruin that you all recently competed in. That was, you know, it was loosely based on this. Though not well kept and presented. It's a few miles off, but it can be gone to, if that's of interest.
ASHLEY: All right. We could go back to the ruin if you wanted to. To see how deep you can go.
TALIESIN: I mean, I don't even know if I need to breathe.
ASHLEY: You know, just slip down.
TALIESIN: Let's find out.
ASHLEY: All right.
TRAVIS: Laura's barely keeping it together. (laughter)
ASHLEY: That one was for her.
TALIESIN: Yeah. You get her.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: I just want to see how deep in there you can get.
TALIESIN: Yeah. (laughter)
ASHLEY: I'm so sorry. (laughter) I'm so sorry.
TALIESIN: No, no. Well, yeah. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Do I need to breathe when we're? Yeah.
MATT: You still have to breathe.
TALIESIN: Okay, just checking.
MATT: But it's like holding your breath through water.
TALIESIN: Gotcha.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: So, there is a limit.
ASHLEY: There's a limit?
TALIESIN: Yeah, if I don't actually, I can't apparently breathe in rock, which makes sense. The more I think about it.
ASHLEY: Oh, that does make sense. How far down did you go?
TALIESIN: I got probably about-- 60, 80 feet. I was going full speed until I was like, I hit my halfway point and went up for just comfortability.
MATT: You can hold your breath pretty long with a high constitution.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: So, your modifier is four?
TALIESIN: Three.
MATT: Three? Oh, that's right.
TALIESIN: I got, yeah.
MATT: Yeah, sorry.
TALIESIN: No, no.
MATT: So you can hold your breath for about three minutes. You can go pretty--
LAURA: (raunchy laughs)
MATT: Pretty--
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: You can go down rather far into the rock. (laughs)
ASHLEY: Then you got to give yourself time to come back up.
TALIESIN: Yeah, or if I'm running just below the surface.
ASHLEY: Then you can just pop up?
TALIESIN: Yeah. Then I don't have to spend time to get back up. I can just have three minutes of just running.
ASHLEY: God, that's so cool. What a cool shard.
TALIESIN: I want to try-- Oh, I've got a great idea.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: In an emergency, I can go halfway into-- God, yeah, I can go halfway into the ground and actually just run people. Can I run up rock? Or can I like, if there's a stone column, I'm going to try and see if I can move up and down like a Kitty Pryde phasing.
MATT: I will say, in this area, most of the worked rock is natural.
TALIESIN: Solid?
MATT: Anything that would be a column would be worked, which means you wouldn't be able to transition into it.
TALIESIN: Yeah, that makes sense. If I'm going-- okay.
MATT: As you're moving through to this space, because you're both heading to this open field, right?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Okay, in traveling you're having to pull out of the ground at times and have to continue trekking on foot because there isn't any open earth that allows you to travel in that way. But there are times where you're having to climb up rocky hills and cliffs to get there. When you do, you glide into the rock and transition up, like you're riding up a waterfall.
ASHLEY: That is so cool!
TALIESIN: I-- that I can take someone with me, I bet.
ASHLEY: Try.
TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to run and I'm going to grab and as we're coming up I'm going to try and grab on and--
LIAM: Ass.
MATT: Like an elevator.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: You grab unto her hand and (scraping) he carries you up--
ASHLEY: Oh my god!
MATT: -- about 25 feet to the top of that cliff side and you're continuing on the path.
LAURA: Amazing.
ASHLEY: Wow!
TALIESIN: All right, so we know that now.
ASHLEY: Cool!
TALIESIN: Your turn. What the fuck can you do?
ASHLEY: It's just more fire. It's just more fire and I--
TALIESIN: Fire does a lot.
ASHLEY: I'm resistant to it, like if it comes around me I'm probably not going to do anything. Then there's some other stuff, but it's only a one-time thing. Then I get really tired. Like exhausted for a couple days. So I don't want to do it right now.
TALIESIN: Well, I mean, let's-- Fuck, let's-- Well actually, no, we're not going to. We're getting this one round without killing. Yeah, this is the free round before we go, yeah.
MATT: This is the play around transformation.
TALIESIN: Yeah, we don't have to pay the price yet.
ASHLEY: Okay, well.
TALIESIN: No, I mean like. Let's get weird, what else can you? I don't know.
ASHLEY: Well, I mean--
TALIESIN: You're on fire! Let's do something.
ASHLEY: I feel like I can put out a little extra fire if I do any fire attacks. I feel like I could probably bump it up a little bit.
LAURA: (laughs)
SAM: Do you feel that?
ASHLEY: Yeah, I feel that.
SAM: Okay.
ASHLEY: I feel like if someone hits me with a weapon, I feel like I could do even more damage to them with fire.
SAM: Wow, you have specific. feelings.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah. I don't know if there's a way for me to practice like you are. Unless I'm really fully in battle.
MATT: Well, you do notice as you're traveling, you're floating above the ground by about a foot.
SAM: Whoa.
ASHLEY: Yeah?
MATT: All the rough terrain, all the challenges, other than having to climb and actually go vertical, because you're not actually flying, you're just floating.
ASHLEY: Wait, I'm floating. Am I floating?
TALIESIN: I was trying to--
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: I was trying to walk you up to it.
ASHLEY: Okay, I think that's part of it now. I can just sort of coast.
TALIESIN: Don't be intellectual about it. Really let's, like, what feels interesting?
ASHLEY: All right, I'm going to float around on difficult terrain. (laughter)
MATT: Yeah, I mean, you bypass--
ASHLEY: Whoa!
MATT: -- any of the roots and rocks and elements that would make it to where you'd have to almost hop carefully through these dense portions of the jungle. You just scoot along.
ASHLEY: Does it look like I'm a ghost?
TALIESIN: It looks like you're a very dangerous ghost or honestly, a forest fire.
ASHLEY: Great.
TALIESIN: I got a great idea. Do you know like bread crumb trails, right?
ASHLEY: Yes.
TALIESIN: You know about that story.
ASHLEY: Of course, where there's bread crumbs and that takes you to a house where you get eaten or something by a monster.
TALIESIN: I knew you would know this story because it feels very pertinent to your reality.
ASHLEY: Yeah, of course.
TALIESIN: Just run and see if you can touch the ground. See if you can actually like, as you're going--
ASHLEY: Like run on tippy toe?
TALIESIN: Yeah, I know you're floating, but see if you can get down and try and scorch the earth a little bit. Not set fire to anything, just.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, just run and each time I touch it's just a little bit of fire?
TALIESIN: Yeah, or you can even just, you know, drag a hand or something, I don't know, while you're floating.
ASHLEY: Ooh! All right. Okay. I'm going to run. Or just float around and then just put one of my hooves out.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Just like, (whoosh) try to dip, go in a circle and make a little circle.
LAURA: A little crescent?
MATT: You got it. Like you're intentionally ice skating through a densely overgrown portion of this mid fey jungle. As you dart through, you leave this black scorch mark as you rapidly, (tearing whoosh)!
ASHLEY: It's like a little bit of a dance, like Roxanne in "Moulin Rouge!"
MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: I'm just dancing around the trees. Making flames.
MATT: Yes, and as you do it's each portion of nearby root, wood, bush, or even exposed ground you leave these quick little black scorch marks. These (whooshes) Which leaves a trail where you've been and it's like you're drawing a weird, improvised sigil on an open space.
ASHLEY: Wow.
TALIESIN: That's fun.
ASHLEY: That's really fun.
TALIESIN: See, you got to, like...
ASHLEY: All right, all right. We can get creative with it.
TALIESIN: This is, technically, is her attack technically a magical effect? Would it work with the hammer?
MATT: In what context?
TALIESIN: Well, the magical ability that the hammer has to split magic?
MATT: Oh, I mean, hmm-- This is more of a directed spell, but you know, be creative, we'll see.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: That's an idea. All right.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I don't know how. If it doesn't work, it would be ridiculous, but we could try something interesting.
ASHLEY: Okay. Try to--
TALIESIN: All right, take a shot. You've got that scorching--
ASHLEY: Yeah, you want me to take a shot?
TALIESIN: Take a shot at the hammer. I will swing and let's see what happens.
ASHLEY: All right.
TALIESIN: I've never actually gotten this to work before. I'm very excited. Where is it?
MATT: Okay, what are you utilizing?
ASHLEY: I'm going to do Scorching Ray.
MATT: Scorching Ray, okay.
TALIESIN: Where is it? Yeah. So, you also have to make an ability check using your spellcasting modifier. DC is equal to six plus the spell's level.
LAURA: It's so--
LIAM: Cute.
ASHLEY: Okay. All right, well the first hit would be 28.
TALIESIN: It's only one hit, so.
ASHLEY: Oh, it's only one hit. Okay.
MATT: Yeah, so you focus the spell. He's not trying to dodge. You're just firing directly into it.
ASHLEY: Got it.
MATT: But-- So yeah, it's six plus the spell's level, which is two, so eight. You deftly complete that.
TALIESIN: So...
MATT: So what happens is you fire these three Scorching Rays into the hammer right as Ashton swings it. As the hammer slams into it, the bit of prismatic particulate that he had embedded into it, that he retrieved while they were over into the other continent of Issylra.
TALIESIN: The bad times.
MATT: The three rays hit and then fracture and divide and fire out into six, and end up splitting and hitting the ground, causing these blasts of flame that burn the nearby brush, one of which slams back into you for no damage.
TRAVIS: Yo!
ASHLEY: Oh, ho, ho, ho!
TALIESIN: Shit, are you-- Oh yeah, no, you're--
ASHLEY: No, I'm totally fine, because fire.
TALIESIN: You're totally fine. Holy fuck.
ASHLEY: That was amazing.
LAURA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: That was so cool. Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
TALIESIN: I know, and I'm trying to think. Anything else, or should we start heading back?
ASHLEY: I feel like we should probably start heading back, but.
TALIESIN: I got to-- I want to-- There's one last thing I do want to try. We're not that far, no.
TALIESIN: All right.
TALIESIN: I'm going to try and-- I'm going to take a couple steps back and I'm going to try and physically end the effect.
MATT: Okay. So you watch as the massive rock expansion of Ashton's body begins to shrink down. But as it does, the exterior of their body also changes coloration from a jagged, dark gray mountainous rock into a very angular, smooth, rough-cut gemstone.
SAM: Rough cut jams (gems).
MARISHA and LAURA: Rough cut jams.
ASHLEY: Uncut jams!
TALIESIN: Uncut jams.
MATT: More or less.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
TALIESIN: That one, the sex joke stuff is fine. That one I take umbrage with. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Finally found the line. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Basically diamond-ish at this point.
MATT: More or less, yeah.
ASHLEY: Wow.
TALIESIN: Oh my god.
SAM: Wow.
ASHLEY: It's really weird that you're taller than me now as well.
TALIESIN: Well, I've shrunk a bit.
ASHLEY: You've shrunk a bit, but still?
MATT: You shrunk a little bit for now. Because it's like all the rock that he expanded into being is now dense--
ASHLEY: Condensed.
MATT: -- pulling itself in to further its density.
TALIESIN: Yeah, this is-- I'm a little tall. I'm ready for that to end, this is--
ASHLEY: Do you still hurt?
TALIESIN: Weirdly, no.
ASHLEY: No?
TALIESIN: No, not at-- No, this is-- I mean, even the hand got strange. Like, the hand doesn't hurt. The arm doesn't hurt, but it also is kind of-- I don't know. It feels like it's wrapped in a really thick glove. Everything feels like it's just out of reach. I don't know how else to put it. It feels strange to touch things. It doesn't feel like mine. But right now-- No, right now--
ASHLEY: No pain?
TALIESIN: It's in there, but it's-- Everything feels like when I'm fighting, when I get hit really hard or when, you know, that doesn't hurt in the same way. That just feels like a punch, normally. That's not that weird scraping.
MATT: We'll say it's about that moment, since it is a temporary transformation, you watch as the gem-like exterior cracks and then falls off in waves of light dust and there behind, Ashton is returned to his natural state. Still with the new arm, somewhat lumbering in comparison to the rest of his proportions. To you, you've never truly experienced a moment without the majority of the pain you've lived with for so long, and to have it return is almost welcome.
TALIESIN: I feel like me.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: That was intense. But yeah, it was the same way that when I'm getting hit it doesn't-- It's not even when I'm getting hit. It's just-- Sometimes it's worth it, honestly, and sometimes it just requires-- I don't do well when someone's ginger, I guess.
LAURA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: All right.
SAM: Sorry, Marisha.
TALIESIN: You're welcome.
LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
TALIESIN: I knew you would.
MARISHA: You and everyone else on the internet. (laughter)
TRAVIS: You almost got out of the chair?
MARISHA: (laughs) I wasn't expecting that one. (laughter)
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: Shh.
TALIESIN: Yeah, being--
TRAVIS: (plops out of chair)
MARISHA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Yeah, just--
ASHLEY: So it's better if someone's a little rougher?
TALIESIN: Yeah, just-- That's also, I mean, it's honestly why you end up knowing a lot of punks is because they're just people who are totally okay with, you know, running up and--
ASHLEY: Punching you, or--?
TALIESIN: Or even just, you know, here. I just, I'll run. If you don't mind, I'm going to run up and just do the big, fuck it, if you don't mind, just the (grunts) yeah. So, you know.
LAURA: But not to you?
TALIESIN: Not, you know.
ASHLEY: But to me.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm just sending it down.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: Here's another.
LAURA: Ugh.
ASHLEY: Oh.
MATT: I'll say roll fire damage.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll take it.
ASHLEY: Roll fire damage?
MATT: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Do I just add my--?
MATT: It should be under the ability. When someone technically hits you in melee.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Oof. That would be--
LAURA: Ow.
ASHLEY: 27. Wait, but my ability-- Sorry.
MATT: It's all right. I think it's a d8?
ASHLEY: I'm so sorry, I was rolling--
MATT: No worries, it's all good.
ASHLEY: One. (laughs)
MATT: Okay, a gentle flame. But nevertheless. Even just brief, physical impact with any sort of force against Fearne there's a flash of fire that a backlash immediately that singes.
ASHLEY: Oh no. Well, maybe I'm going to need some ginger touching. Instead, since.
TALIESIN: That I cannot help you with.
SAM: Marisha, get in there.
ASHLEY: Because--
TRAVIS: Go on.
ASHLEY: I might end up hurting somebody.
LIAM: Ding, ding, ding, ding!
TRAVIS: Good luck.
TALIESIN: I don't know how else to-- It just comes with the gig.
ASHLEY: All right.
TALIESIN: It's okay.
ASHLEY: It's just life now. It's just what we have to accept, that we're just-- We have to accept our greatness, basically.
TALIESIN: I'm-- I will accept your greatness.
ASHLEY: Okay, well, I'll accept both of ours.
TALIESIN: You can have greatness for two.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: I'm just going to-- I'm just going to do my best to keep everybody okay.
ASHLEY: Me too. Me too.
TALIESIN: You look really cool.
ASHLEY: Thanks. You look pretty cool, too.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
ASHLEY: Yeah. I think these shards look pretty good on us, if I do say so myself.
TALIESIN: You wear it well. What happens if you chill out? You're going to go for it?
ASHLEY: Chill out?
TALIESIN: I mean, really let go, let it--
ASHLEY: Let it rip? (laughter)
TALIESIN: I love you. You're so good. Oh yeah. I'll back up a bit, yeah.
ASHLEY: Wait, no. I can't really-- I have to wait 'til I'm in battle.
TALIESIN: Okay.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm going to wait.
LAURA: This is a freebie, though.
MATT: I mean, yeah, you don't have to.
ASHLEY: No, no, no, I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait.
TALIESIN: You're going to wait? All right.
ASHLEY: Because basically I can explode.
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: I got that vibe.
ASHLEY: And do lots of damage, but it's, you know.
TALIESIN: There's also a lot of stuff that would probably catch fire out here, and that would be a lot to deal with right now.
ASHLEY: Okay, I'll just-- Yeah, I know. I feel like that would be a lot. I don't want to burn everything down, because I think I could burn this entire forest to the ground.
TALIESIN: I believe that.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I don't want to do that, this is a little bit of home. But shall we head back?
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: (laughs)
TALIESIN: I mean--
LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
MATT: (laugh)
TALIESIN: How about we take our time?
ASHLEY: All right. Okay.
TALIESIN: You are on fire still.
ASHLEY: I am on fire. (laughs) I don't know why I'm laughing.
MATT: (laughs)
TALIESIN: I'm going to throw one more hug, just because.
ASHLEY: All right.
LAURA: Oh, a hug.
TALIESIN: Thank you so fucking much.
ASHLEY: Okay. I'll return the hug.
TALIESIN: I will take my fire damage now.
MATT: Well, just a hug won't-- You notice it's not that-- She's hot to the touch, but it doesn't like--
TALIESIN: I want to fucking take it. I mean I'm, you know.
MATT: Yeah, it's not enough to deal fire damage unless it's-- It's like a reactive protection impact causes the flames to burst back offensively.
TALIESIN: I would've-- Not heavy, but yeah, I'm not soft about things.
ASHLEY: Oh.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Thanks.
TALIESIN: Yeah. Thank you, not really, not me.
MATT: You both gingerly begin to make the walk back through the fey forests--
SAM: ♪ Makin' the walk ♪
MATT: -- that surround the outside of Ligament Manor, eventually arriving to the exterior of the massive tree, the creepy sounds of the various twilight predators that fly through the region, calling to each other. It's home. It's a welcome home. Right as you begin to approach, you feel the flame begin to die inside as your feet, your hooves, clack back on the ground. The fire subsides and you return to your normal Fearne form. Though there's still the tiniest little speck of fire in the middle of each pupil if you look hard enough, just this minute little flicker of flame and the most gentle drift of black smoke that seems to faintly billow from the tips of your ears--
SAM: Cool.
TRAVIS: "Firestarter"!
MATT: -- and your fingernails.
ASHLEY: "Firestarter"!
TALIESIN: In the dark, you look like two cabins that are very far away.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
TALIESIN: (laughs) (lingering laughter)
TALIESIN: Well, welcome back.
ASHLEY: Welcome back.
TALIESIN: That was exhausting.
ASHLEY: Yeah. We'll explore a little more.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: In time.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Okay. The rest of you, anything else you're wishing to do before the evening comes to a close?
MARISHA: You've never played patty cake?
LAURA: (laughs)
SAM: I have, but my metal hands hurt the people I play with.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: He also forgets to take the buzzsaw off, so-- (laughter)
LAURA: Oh, you know from personal experience?
MARISHA: That makes sense.
TRAVIS: Yeah. Paddy-- Ah!
LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)
SAM: He used to be 6'3". (laughter)
TRAVIS: If I get my wish.
SAM: Wish? You going to go do it?
LAURA: Are you going to do it?
TRAVIS: Oh yeah, do you think she's home?
LAURA: She was here! She was clapping.
TRAVIS: I'll go ask. I'll walk over to--
SAM: Are you going to wish for a lozenge?
TRAVIS: -- Nana's. (laughter)
TRAVIS: I ate one of those strange fruits out here, it fucked up my throat.
MATT: (laughs) Oh, buddy.
SAM: Do you need help?
TRAVIS: I got it.
MARISHA: Can we watch?
TRAVIS: From afar.
SAM: Yeah, okay.
MARISHA: Okay, that's fine.
MATT: You do know that shortly after they left, Nana Morri, singing to herself in this terrifyingly off-key, nondescript tune that she harmonized between her guttural mouth and her primary one, I guess you could say, or accompanying one, eventually danced her way up to the Collection. So within the massive enclosed structure that sits on the far off gnarled branch of Ligament Manor, you can see the somewhat terrifying doorway that sits at the front of the Collection, the bones and skull fragments that form this odd face as you approach. You knock a few times as some of the bones shift. What looks like a scattering of corpses that have been stylistically and beautifully placed to be artistically balanced like a tile design across the front, all shift and crack towards you as it seems to open to a mouth and a voice goes, (low and rough) "Hey, what do you want?"
TRAVIS: The door does?
MATT: The door, yeah.
TRAVIS: That's fucked up.
SAM and MARISHA: (laugh)
TRAVIS: Whoa. (laughs) I was wondering if Nana Morri might be accepting visitors?
MATT: "I guess I'll ask," and the bones (suctioning slurp) sink into the door and it becomes a weird, muddy, frozen morass texture on it. You hear muffled on the other side of the door--
SAM: Morass.
MARISHA: Morass garden.
MATT: "Morrigan, you've got a tiny one asking about you outside."
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MATT: There's this pause before the bones (thick slurp) emerge on the side facing you again. "She'll be right there."
SAM: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Oh, thank you very much. I didn't catch your name.
MATT: "I'm the door." (laughter)
TRAVIS: Of course, how stupid of me.
MATT: "Doors don't have names."
TRAVIS: Well, I guess not here. Where I'm from, (dreamy sigh) everything that's made of wood has a name.
MATT: The bones creak slightly. "Like what?"
TRAVIS: Like Door-ian.
ASHLEY: (groans) Oh.
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: "That sounds like a lame name. It's too on the nose." (laughter)
TRAVIS: Shit. (laughter)
TRAVIS: I got shot down by a door.
SAM: How about Bor'Dor?
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MARISHA: Oh, that's good.
TRAVIS: Hold the Bor'Dor.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Bor'Door.
MATT: "Still a little too close to home. I mean, I feel like it's--"
TRAVIS: A play on the word?
MATT: "Yeah, twice in a row. What else you got?"
LAURA: (laughs)
MARISHA: Doors can only be our guest characters.
SAM: (laughs)
MATT: They were your enemies once, now they're your friends.
TALIESIN: Not for long.
TRAVIS: Artax. (laughter)
MATT: "Artax, see now that sounds interesting. What do you know that's named an Artax?"
TRAVIS: Shit! (laughter)
TALIESIN: Just yourself, fucker.
LIAM: (digging)
TRAVIS: Oh, you know, it's the name of a great noble steed who came by some very good fortune.
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: "Steeds. Steeds, they get names. You said things that don't get names get them where you're from. Give me a name of something that wouldn't have one normally."
TRAVIS: A name of something that wouldn't have one normally.
SAM: What does that even mean?
TRAVIS: Well--
TALIESIN: I'm following this shit.
TRAVIS: I name some of my instruments, sometimes. I pull up my wood chisel.
MATT: "Yeah?"
TRAVIS: Yeah. Sometimes they get little names of affection.
MATT: "Like?"
TRAVIS: Well they're not very cool. Do people knock on you more? Do they ever push? Do they ever kick? Pull?
MATT: "Kind of a spectrum, really, depends on where you were raised, I suppose."
TRAVIS: What about Push-Pull?
LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)
MATT: "Push-Pull, hmm."
ASHLEY: (clanking) I am so sorry.
MATT: "Push-Pull."
ASHLEY: It's so loud.
TRAVIS: Sir Push-Pull.
LIAM: Did you get excited?
MATT: (thick slurp) The bones rescind into the door and you hear muffled, "Morrigan! Do you like the sound Push-Pull? Sir Push-Pull."
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: You hear up a voice go, (Morri 1) "Why are you asking me this random question?"
TRAVIS: (laughs) (Sir Push-Pull) "Apparently in some places, doors can get names."
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MATT: "How come I don't have a name?"
ASHLEY and TRAVIS: (laugh)
MATT: (Morri 1) "Well, you never asked." (laughter)
ASHLEY: I love this whole conversation!
MATT: (Sir Push-Pull) "Can I have a name? Please?"
ASHLEY: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Fucking door's awesome.
MATT: (Morri 1) "You want the name Sir Push-Pull?" (laughter) (Sir Push-Pull) "It's not that I want it, it's what I was given."
TRAVIS and ASHLEY: (laugh)
MATT: (Morri 1) "Then be my guest, Sir Push-Pull." (Sir Push-Pull) "Awesome." (laughter) The bones (thick slurping) back out, all the skulls turn to you. "You may enter." (door creaking) It opens up on the side.
LAURA: He tooted!
MARISHA and LAURA: (laugh)
TRAVIS: Thank you, Sir Push-Pull.
MATT: "The pleasure is mine." You step back on the inside of this Collection, this massive dome of pulled branches and twigs that pulls up to a seemingly dizzying height for a moment. You can't even get perspective on how big. At times it looks massive, at times it looks small and close by. But you can see all these shelves everywhere with little cubbies and tiny little pull-open doors and barred gates and cages hanging with critters and creatures. You've gotten a glance at this your first time you were here and now you're standing here alone for a second and your eyes begin to shoot around and take in the possibilities of everything here. But the light's so low, you just see shadows and things shifting and skittering within these various different hidden, closed domiciles and cages, shoving points before a shadow (emerging shift) cuts off your attention. You look up and see the massive shape of Nana Morri right there as the head slowly descends down, like it's detached from the rest of the shoulders, down to meet yours.
MATT: (Morri 1) "Can I help you?"
TRAVIS: Wow, it's quite the atmosphere in here. I had a question. I hope it won't be offensive. I heard that some people refer to you as the Fatestitcher?
MATT: "Yeah, this is a name. You seem to have a fascination with names as of late."
TRAVIS: I do. I love wood and nicknames.
LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)
MATT: "Everyone needs a hobby."
TRAVIS: I agree. But I had a question. The people, hmm, the things in your garden, are those-- (laughs nervously) Are those individuals that you've done a deal with previously?
MATT: Her head leans in really close to yours. "Some do not uphold their side of the deal. There has to be collateral."
MARISHA: You could become wood. It's your dream. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Holy shit, it's an ouroboros! (laughter)
TRAVIS: Full circle! (laughter)
TRAVIS: Chetney's heart rate starts to quicken a little bit. Sublime. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Sublime!
TRAVIS: I just happen to notice that you are, of course, very powerful, and Fearne is herself extremely powerful. I was wondering if maybe there might be an arrangement that we could strike where I could be, I don't know, imbued with a little bit of some of the powers that you have, maybe in exchange for my exerting some of your influence in the realms beyond this one?
MATT: As her eyes look at you, you feel what little flames of lanterns that glow in the space begin to flicker out, one by one.
MARISHA: Oh my god.
MATT: Until the entire room goes dark and the shadowy shape of her that seems to consume most of your vision suddenly consumes all of it. Except for the stinking little beads of glowing light that mark her pupils.
TRAVIS: That's a thing.
MATT: As they pull back a bit, a lantern flickers on in front of you, and you're no longer inside the Collection, you are in a black space with a table set before her, where she sets the lantern down onto before leaning back into a chair. "What is it you want specifically? Tell me your dreams."
TRAVIS: Well, I would love to never die.
SAM: Oh god.
TRAVIS: But that seems a little much so, and just talking it out.
MATT: "It's not an uncommon request."
TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. That doesn't make it very special, though.
MATT: "It can make you very special. I mean, look at one of your companions. (laughs)"
TRAVIS: Oh shit, right, Laudna. I was wondering, do people ask to return to their youth?
MATT: "Oh, yet another not very uncommon request, yes."
TRAVIS: Aw fuck.
MATT: "Oh, I'm not judging you. I'm just saying it's been considered and granted before."
TRAVIS: Hmm. Interesting.
MATT: "You wash from dream to dream. You had to come in here with one singular, burning hope. One fire that burgeons and forces itself to burn, leaping from your chest, from your bones to consume you. What is your passion?"
TRAVIS: Toys. I want to be the most famous toy maker the world has ever known.
MATT: "Now that just requires a little bend of fate, doesn't it?" As she extends her hand, you see this weird golden thread that now draws from your chest. It seems like it drifts into the shadow in both ways. Not towards her, it just pulls from one end of the darkness to the other, and you watch her reach your finger forward and tug on it. As it does, you feel this cold sensation rush through your body. "And what will you give me?"
TRAVIS: Oh. That room we were in before, looks like you have a lot of stuff. What would you want?
MATT: "Hmm. Bring me a piece of what you hunt. Bring me a piece of the god eater."
TRAVIS: That's such a good ask, I'm not even mad about it. A piece of Predathos?
MATT: "Mm-hmm."
TRAVIS: That sounds impossible.
MATT: "It does. But you all seem to be on the path to doing the impossible, aren't you?"
TRAVIS: We are.
MATT: "Well."
TRAVIS: Let me do some simple arithmetic here. It's a deal.
LAURA: (awed gasp)
LIAM: (laughs)
ASHLEY: (excited chuckle)
MATT: You watch as she puts her hand over the lantern and the flame, you realize at this point, it wasn't a yellow fire. It was almost a colorless flame, like you were sitting in a space of monochrome light. As she runs her hand over the lantern, the whitish fire carries over into her palm and she extends it towards you, and as she clasps it, her fingers wrap around it and almost clamp back over her hand with how long they are compared to your tiny, gnomish clasp. As it does, you feel this cold flame touch your palm and that golden thread, the only source of color in this space, seems to twist and tangle a bit. She withdraws her hand. "Very well. Make me proud, and you'll be notorious."
TRAVIS: ♪ Notorious ♪
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: I feel taller already.
MATT: "Good." She leans back, and as you blink for a second, the minute you open your eyes, you're back in the Collection. Like you just (swoosh) washed back and you're just standing there. "(unsettling chuckle) Well. (Morri 2) Get out."
TRAVIS: Oh, sorry, yes. Sir Push-Pull!
MATT: The door opens up.
ASHLEY: Notorious P.O.P.
LAURA: Oh no.
MARISHA: Notorious P.O.P.
TRAVIS: Well!
MARISHA: How'd it go? What happened?
SAM: You don't look younger.
TRAVIS: She loves me.
LAURA: Oh yeah?
SAM: Sure, sure.
MARISHA: Is that what you wished for?
TRAVIS: Yes! Nah.
MARISHA: For her to love you?
TRAVIS: No.
MARISHA: Oh.
TRAVIS: But it's the rule when you're blowing out a candle, you don't tell anybody your wish.
SAM: Oh.
LAURA: Oh.
TRAVIS: Right? Or it won't come true. These are specific rules.
LAURA: Okay, but isn't this more like a deal?
TRAVIS: A what?
LAURA: A deal.
TRAVIS: I don't think so.
LAURA: Can you tell us what you offered her?
TRAVIS: No.
LAURA: All right.
LIAM: Is that part of the deal?
TRAVIS: I don't know, but the room that I was in changed and got real weird and scary and I wish I had asked for a little bit more of a detail about what might break the deal and I feel like letting you guys know what I'm supposed to get might jeopardize that deal.
SAM: Well--
MARISHA: (laughs)
SAM: -- based on the last couple days we've had together and how close we've grown.
LAURA: (laughs) Yeah.
SAM: I can only imagine that what you asked for was something for all of us to enjoy or something for the betterment of the world.
LAURA: We learned that we don't keep secrets from each other. That we gained strength through honesty and--
SAM: Trust.
LAURA: -- trust.
MARISHA: Oh no.
TRAVIS: No, this was just for me, it was selfish.
MARISHA: Honesty.
TRAVIS: Yeah, no, it was just for me.
MARISHA: That's good.
TRAVIS: It was for a personal goal.
LAURA: All right.
MARISHA: Look, it's working.
TRAVIS: Because I think, I mean, from the garden, if I don't deliver, then it just affects me. It doesn't affect everybody. That would be weird if I negotiated on--
SAM: If we lose you, that affects us, too.
MARISHA: Oh, like we incur your debt?
TRAVIS: Yeah, but you're not going to lose me. Not to this.
MARISHA: Did you wish to never die, is that why?
TRAVIS: I actually brought that up.
MARISHA and LAURA: (laugh)
TRAVIS: It's fairly common.
LAURA: Oh yeah?
MARISHA: That makes sense.
TRAVIS: Which made it a little less desirable.
LAURA: I wonder what she would do? Because usually when you make a deal like that, they take what you ask for and they twist it, right?
LIAM: Is that what they usually do?
LAURA: Well, that's what the old stories tell me, you know?
TRAVIS: What are you talking about? I've never heard that, I just heard they grant deals.
LAURA: No, don't you ever hear if you make a deal with, remember Laudna, we talked about this, with the witch in the woods?
MARISHA: Yes.
LAURA: Then usually you ask for something and they'll give it to you, but they'll give it to you in a way that actually hurts you or is not what exactly you asked for. Like if you asked to live forever, maybe they would turn you undead or they would turn you into a vampire or something like that, so you wouldn't live forever the way you wanted.
SAM: We're not talking about a witch in the woods, we're talking about--
TRAVIS: Nana Morri.
SAM: -- Nana Morri, our friend.
LAURA: I know she's a friend to us and she's wonderful. Oh hey, welcome back, Fearne.
ASHLEY: Thanks, thanks, thanks.
MARISHA: What Imogen is trying to say is this is how these tales come to be, as people interpret our beloved Nana Morri and as they tell and share these stories, then it gets ah, spooky and crazy.
TRAVIS: You know what that sounds like to me?
TALIESIN: Holy shit, did someone make a wish?
TRAVIS: I did, yeah.
TALIESIN: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: Those sound like haters, just to be honest.
LAURA: He made a deal with your Nana.
ASHLEY: Oh, great!
TRAVIS: Right?
ASHLEY: Great!
TRAVIS: See?
LAURA: All right.
LIAM: Is it?
TALIESIN: We were just talking about the breadcrumb thing. I feel like this is a perfect, yeah.
ASHLEY: As long you deliver and as long as you stay true to your word, it'll be fine. Because if you don't, I mean--
TRAVIS: What happens if you don't?
ASHLEY: Boy, probably lots of bad stuff.
TRAVIS: Lots or you just end up in the garden?
ASHLEY: Yeah, maybe.
TRAVIS: Oh, okay.
ASHLEY: I don't know. There's various things.
MARISHA: Oh, the people in the garden? (gasp)
LAURA: Yeah, yeah.
MARISHA: These are bad deal bones.
LAURA: Bad deal bones.
ASHLEY: Maybe not, I don't know.
MARISHA: Do you think they're cursed?
TALIESIN: She seems like she has a sense of humor though, so I'd be really worried.
ASHLEY: I don't really know how she goes back on her deals.
TRAVIS: Well, great, this is what I'm here for. You get to know--
ASHLEY: It'll be fine.
LAURA: Have you ever heard her take something that somebody asked for and turn it--
ASHLEY: Turn it a little--
LAURA: -- turn it a little wickedy?
TRAVIS: Imogen!
LIAM: Topsy-turvy?
LAURA: Well, I'm just asking.
LIAM: You want to know what you're dealing with, right?
ASHLEY: Yeah, I mean, maybe. Maybe.
LAURA: Okay.
SAM: Maybe meaning yes?
ASHLEY: Yeah. I mean, I'm not really-- (laughter)
ASHLEY: I'm not really in on her deals a lot, but I could see her doing that, just being funny.
MARISHA: Should I make a deal?
ASHLEY: Maybe.
SAM: I don't know. Let's see how this one goes first.
ASHLEY: You all could make deals! It's fun.
MARISHA: That's fair.
TALIESIN: I'm... fine.
SAM: No offense, this one's low stakes. Like he said, he's going to die anyway.
TRAVIS: Yeah!
ASHLEY: (laughs)
TRAVIS: I feel like every day is a gift. I might not even make it to the delivery period.
MARISHA: It's true.
TRAVIS: Sometimes you just got to say yes to stuff and how often do you walk by a Fatestitcher?
MARISHA: I love it.
ASHLEY: Yes, love that.
LAURA and MATT: (laugh)
ASHLEY: Say yes.
MARISHA: I support you and trust you.
SAM: That was really good.
TRAVIS: Your hand is so cold.
MARISHA: It's a little clammy too, it's moist here, sorry.
TRAVIS: It needs circulation.
MARISHA: It does.
SAM: If you wished for this thing, it must be something very important to you and I support that, too.
TRAVIS: Thank you, FCG, that means a ton. It's only something that I would not be able to achieve by my own means, despite having tried my hardest.
LAURA and SAM: Aww.
MATT: Ascending the stairs nearby, Allura goes, "Am I hearing someone made a deal with the Fatestitcher?"
TALIESIN: Yes, it's hilarious.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Guess which one?
MATT: "We're leaving in the morning, right?"
SAM: Yeah, we're going to have a quick nighttime treat and go to bed.
TRAVIS: Over it.
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: "Wonderful, this has been a delightful distraction. I hope we've received what we're looking for. Appreciate your family for their hospitality."
ASHLEY: Oh, you're so welcome.
MATT: "I greatly look forward to leaving. So I'm going to go to bed."
SAM: Good night.
MATT: "See you in the morning."
TRAVIS: (deeply) Good night, Allura.
SAM: Jesus.
TRAVIS: Oh, it's starting.
MARISHA: He's already getting younger.
MATT: She leaves. (laughter)
SAM: Well, we have a big day tomorrow. We should go to bed.
LAURA: We have to sneak onto the moon, y'all. We got to be sneaky.
MARISHA: We've got those scrolls.
LAURA: We've kept two scrolls of Mass Nondetection.
MARISHA: Yes.
LAURA: Which I think turn us invisible to people with scrying for like an hour or is it an eight-hour period?
MATT: It's an eight-hour period of time that you cannot be scried upon.
LIAM: We have to return to where everything went wrong--
LAURA: Are they scrying on us now?
LIAM: -- to take the ride up?
LAURA: Oh no, could we be scried on here?
SAM: We're in a different place.
TALIESIN: They would have to be, if I recall--
MATT: In the same plane.
TALIESIN: -- in the realm. It's-- multi... multi. Yeah.
LAURA: Okay.
SAM: Before we go to bed, I've been cooking.
MATT: (laughs)
SAM: And I'll pull out a tray of Hawaiian rolls.
TRAVIS: (gasps) Yes!
ASHLEY: Yes.
SAM: H'wine.
TRAVIS: So good.
ASHLEY: The greatest.
SAM: H'wine.
LIAM: I don't know what that means.
ASHLEY: What?
LAURA: Orym doesn't know what that means.
SAM: They're like wine, but h'wine rolls.
LAURA: H'wine rolls?
SAM: Put a little drop of wine in there.
LIAM: Like Hishari.
TRAVIS: H-apostrophe.
ASHLEY: Yes, h'wine.
TRAVIS: H'wine.
MARISHA: I love Hawaiian rolls.
SAM: I made these in a magical tray.
ASHLEY: A little ham, a little mayonnaise.
SAM: A little faerie dust, a little Changebringer divine energy so we can have a Heroes' Yeast.
LAURA: Wow.
MATT: Jesus. (reluctant laughter)
TRAVIS: "Jesus."
ASHLEY: Thank you so much. (munches)
MARISHA: (noms)
MATT: How many people can feast?
ASHLEY: This is delicious.
SAM: I think eight, but let me look. I've never done this before.
LIAM: I think Allura said she would do that.
LAURA: Aww, Allura.
TALIESIN: Also Travis. "Emergen C. Exit," that just never hit, really?
TRAVIS: What?
TALIESIN: Door names.
TRAVIS and LAURA: Oh.
TALIESIN: Emergen C. Exit.
TRAVIS: That would be so good.
TALIESIN: Okay, I'm so sorry, I was disappointed. Carry on.
TRAVIS: Emergen C. Exit.
TALIESIN: You were great.
TRAVIS: That's so good.
TALIESIN: So sorry.
TRAVIS: Well, fuck.
TALIESIN: It was there.
TRAVIS: Now your science fair project's better than mine.
MATT: There's Sir Egress. There's so many others.
TALIESIN: That was a moment of Percy, carry on. No, it was great, Percy had that.
SAM: Up to 12 creatures!
LAURA: We got to feed Allura. Allura, get back down here.
SAM: Allura, come back.
TALIESIN: Allura.
MATT: "Yes?"
LAURA: We got h'wine roll for you.
SAM: Have a h'wine roll. It'll make you magically powerful.
TRAVIS: H'wine.
MATT: "Oh, I know what you're doing. Well, appreciate it. Won't be too far from the front lines, if all goes well, so all defenses are welcome. Thank you."
SAM: Sure.
MARISHA: That gives us? Bonus HP, right? 10 hit points?
SAM: Oh shoot, I didn't look. I have four more, can Mister or any of your weird creatures?
MARISHA: Ooh, Mister and Pâté?
SAM: Are they creatures? No, probably not.
MATT: Technically, yeah?
LAURA: They could get temporary hit points?
TALIESIN: Temporary hit points?
MATT: Sure, why not?
MARISHA: We don't want these h'wine rolls to go to waste.
SAM: No.
TALIESIN: That'd be unfortunate.
SAM: Okay, so 2d10 hit point maximum increases by--
LIAM: You're calling for all of us, that's how it works?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
SAM: By 13 points.
TALIESIN: Ooh.
TRAVIS: Yo.
TALIESIN: Max goes up?
MARISHA: These are temporary. They bump us?
LAURA: Max.
SAM: Max hit points.
MATT: But keep tabs on what your hit points are now. Just what your max is normally so we can make the adjustment.
LIAM: Okay, so it's temporary.
LAURA: Oh, got it, so it's a temporary bump.
LIAM: Temporary max.
MARISHA: This one always fucks my shit up.
LIAM: Over 100, yeah!
MATT: So make a note to yourself what your current max is and then you can make that adjustment.
TRAVIS: Got it.
SAM: What else does it do? The Heroes' Feast. "Creature is cured of all diseases and poisons." Does that affect anyone right away?
MATT: Not at the moment, nobody's poisoned.
SAM: "Becomes immune to poison and being frightened."
TRAVIS: That's just me all day, baby.
SAM: "Makes all wisdom saving throws with advantage."
MATT: That's pretty huge. All righty.
SAM: And the hit point maximum.
TALIESIN: Immune to frightened?
MATT: Immune to frightened.
TALIESIN: I'm adding this here.
SAM: And poison.
TALIESIN: I was frightened.
MATT: Perfect.
TALIESIN: Frightened, I have put it on my little list.
LAURA: Anything else?
TRAVIS: Your wisdom saving throw.
LAURA: No fear, no poison.
SAM: Advantage.
MARISHA: Wisdom.
TALIESIN: Immune to poison or resistant to poison?
SAM: Immune.
TALIESIN: So that would be immune to poison damage, okay.
SAM: All right, goodnight.
ASHLEY: Wait, do we want to check in with anybody? Scry in on anyone or are we going to bed? Check in on dreams?
LAURA: I know we talked about dreaming, but I could--
SAM: Oh!
TRAVIS: Yeah.
SAM: Oh, you were going to give in to it?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah!
LAURA: That was the--
TRAVIS: Yeah, hell yeah.
ASHLEY: You should.
TRAVIS: Who's normally on your dream quests with you?
LAURA: I don't know, can FCG do it tonight?
SAM: I'll look. I'm looking.
LAURA: Usually it goes sideways when there's extra people. That's the only thing. People have gotten stuck there, hurt.
LIAM: Can it go sideways on you if you're alone?
LAURA: Sure.
SAM: Yeah, I can do it. Do you want to do it?
LAURA: If I can.
SAM: Okay, who wants to go with you?
LIAM: I'll go.
MARISHA: I'll go.
SAM: Okay.
ASHLEY: I'll get out my lavender and blue lotus and just--
LAURA: (giggles)
ASHLEY: -- sprinkle it on her.
TALIESIN: This is a thing.
TRAVIS: What, the lotus?
LIAM: No.
SAM: It's the blue lotus. (ululates)
LAURA: I'm super tired already, so I'll just--
TALIESIN: We are tired people.
LAURA: (snores)
SAM: I'm trying to find the wording of this stupid thing. Too many spells. Okay. "At higher levels, you can cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd-level or higher. You can choose additional sleeping creatures." So if you wanted to, I could bring five people with you into the dream.
LAURA: Oh my god.
TALIESIN: I mean, that's all of us.
ASHLEY: Including you, or--?
SAM: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LAURA: Five including you, or five?
SAM: Including-- (sighs) I'll read it again. Goddamn it.
ASHLEY: Oh.
TALIESIN: When we get a second. Before long rest.
TRAVIS: Somebody stays behind.
LAURA: Yeah, to slap us all if, you know?
ASHLEY: I'm going to give you back your ring.
TALIESIN: All right.
ASHLEY: Yeah. Because I don't need it.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Because--
LAURA: You're immune to fire.
ASHLEY: I'm immune to fire. It does give you a little extra AC, but I'm going to give it back.
TALIESIN: All right.
SAM: Okay, I can only bring four people, including me.
LAURA: Okay, so who's staying behind?
MARISHA: Including you.
TRAVIS: I'll stay behind.
LAURA: All right.
SAM: Who's going?
LAURA: All of us except for Chet.
TALIESIN: The rest of us.
SAM: Four people.
MARISHA: Including him. So two have to stay behind.
LAURA: Oh shit.
ASHLEY: I'll stay behind.
TALIESIN: Are you sure?
ASHLEY: Well, should you stay behind?
TALIESIN: I'm fine, I know I'm being--
TRAVIS: You can't scry through dimensions, right?
ASHLEY: Rollies?
TALIESIN: Let's do Rollies, because I was going to say maybe--
LAURA: You can.
TALIESIN: -- maybe I could be helpful in there.
LAURA: Oh, no. I think if you try--
ASHLEY: I think you should go in there.
TALIESIN: I'll go.
ASHLEY: I'm okay to sit it out.
TALIESIN: Okay.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LAURA: Who's going?
ASHLEY: I'm going to stay.
LAURA: Okay.
ASHLEY: I'm just going to relax you.
LAURA: All right.
ASHLEY: Massage your shoulders.
LAURA: Okay.
ASHLEY: Get you in a good spot.
LAURA: All right.
SAM: Nighty night.
LAURA: Night.
MATT: All right.
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: So who all is going total?
SAM: One, two, and then three more people, yes. That's good.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Chet and I will hold down the fort.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Because you're not doing it to me, are you?
TALIESIN: Oh, I assume we had a short rest.
LAURA: You don't have to do it to me, you're going into my dream.
TALIESIN: Since the last insanity.
SAM: Yes.
LAURA: Right. Okay.
TALIESIN: We had a short rest between this and the last insanity, right?
MATT: We can say you've had a short rest, sure.
TALIESIN: Thank you. Because I have no hit points.
ASHLEY: Hey, hey, hey. Don't get lost in there. Don't get lost in there.
LAURA: Right.
SAM: If we do, just slap us silly.
LAURA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: All right.
LAURA: Kick us.
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: Don't get distracted by blue eyes over there.
ASHLEY: I won't. I won't.
LAURA: Old blue.
ASHLEY: Old blue.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: I'll be sure to take a long rest while y'all are over there.
LAURA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MARISHA: Deal ended.
MATT: The boy who cried wolf every time. All right. So as you lay down to rest, push through the anxiety, and eventually find your mind slip over to the other side of consciousness. You've conducted your ritual and connected the other three of you to the dream to come. So you're going to bed with an intentionality to this dream.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: What is your intent? What is your focus?
LAURA: I want to-- ♪ I want to take ♪ the Bloody Bridge ♪ (laughs)
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Singing it helps. (laughter)
SAM: Glad you're treating this with the respect it deserves. (laughter)
TRAVIS: And?
LAURA: And see, see what happens.
MATT: You got it. You feel yourself glide past the clouds into the starry sky. You feel the shift of color from black and white to red, to black and white to red. You find yourself almost in a corkscrew, the stars swirling around as you continue drifting, looking outward. You can see a distant comet leaving a tail behind it. As you follow it, you see these four other flickering lights that seem to follow behind you. Their presence is warm and welcoming, and you recognize the sensation of your friends. The rest of you feel yourselves drift into this dream, being pulled through a starry expanse. But you also feel that vibration of energy. As you all glance upward, you can see you ride along this impossibly distant tether of red, piercing energy, (arcane energy buzzing) just flickering as it goes. As you glance up, it feels like it curves up into the massive red orb that is the Moon of Ill Omen, Ruidus. You feel as you glide along one of these pulsing sparks, races past and almost catches you, like your force of will now finds purchase on the momentum, and you find yourself being dragged like you are one of the gondolas in Jrusar, shooting along this beam. The rest of you feel yourselves being pulled along, dragged by some invisible chains tethered to Imogen's spirit drifting through this dream. As you glide faster and faster, like a rollercoaster, you drift in this faint upward curve. Everything is slightly changed and warped. What should be a straight beam itself seems to have a roundness to it. The moon itself seems impossibly large, then small and distant, but then it's there. Before long you untether from it and drift faster towards the surface of this moon. (atmospheric drifting) Faster and faster. You can see the swirling of dust clouds gathering and tearing into the countryside. You can see massive mountain ranges that burst through in places. You can see what looks like chasms that crack into its surface. The closer you get, you can see slivers of silver that seem to carve through parts of the landscape. You get pulled into the storm. As it does, the red dust completely fills your periphery. You find yourself once more brought to the familiar, terrifying center core of the Ruidian storms that have haunted you since childhood. Here in this lost space, the heavy sounds of wind starting by, you look about you, and you have no sense of up or down. You just know you're in the storm, you just know you're lost. What do you wish to do?
LAURA: Can I try to open my mind?
MATT: Sure. You let loose on some of the still-sounding boundaries that sit on the outside of your consciousness. As they open up, you feel like you're tapping into a larger consciousness for a brief moment, like thousands of voices sit just along the periphery of your capability to grasp them, like background radiation that flickers beyond reach. You do sense the ground not far below.
LAURA: Fly down and land.
MATT: Your feet touch the ground and gravity sets in. You feel your hair drift down across your shoulders. You feel your outfit in this dreamscape fall to your sides and you glance back up and you watch as the storm dissipates in an upward eye of a hurricane. You can see the stars once more straight above, the columns, almost a half mile high of the storm swirling around. You can see the beautiful blue and green glow of Exandria far above, and that single red shoelace tether, straight as an arrow, just keeping it bound there. As you stand here on the surface, your feet touching the ground, as you look up to the world where all of your life has been known, you feel that (energy buzzing), like a bassy vibration once more course through your legs, through your chest, through your very essence. There is that calling again, that feeling, that beckoning.
LAURA: I'm going to sink down to my knees and reach my hand out and touch the ground.
MATT: The very ground itself feels like it's a thunderous vibration, like a stampede unseen is perpetually plowing by. You almost see the stones that are barely visible beyond the choking of the storm itself, jittering, dancing around from the impact as your hands touch the ground. The ground is warm.
LAURA: (uncertain moan) If I drift too far-- In my head, I'm going to think and send out a thought through the ground. I'm going to think: Bring me home.
MATT: Do you fight this beckoning?
LAURA: I don't.
MATT: Like a metal latch that holds the edge of a cord, the only thing that's kept you dangling above an abyss, you allow it to snap and you feel yourself tumble into the ground, drifting into darkness as that black warmth envelopes you. The three of you feel yourself pulled to the ground and through it into the same darkness. But it is rough, it is jagged, it is scary. You see nothing and feel nothing except for dread, an alien presence that washes over and through you. You feel comfort. Sensations of running into your mother's arms when you were a child. Memories of hugging your favorite horses. That sense of belonging. You think of what it's like to fall into Laudna's embrace. All these things that you want, all these things that make you feel right, they're here also. As you tumble, you pass through flashes of lightless rock, like a ghost. You drift deeper, feeling the pull strengthen as these lights pass by, these flashes of color. You know they're caverns, networks of endless caverns that dig deep, snaking like a labyrinth beneath the crust of Ruidus. You see glimpses of teal glowing crystal and subterranean rivers, water, oceans of water that exist beneath the surface. An odd, weird alien red life that swim through it and take a glance at you with just an instant. Weird alien green eyes that open just as you pass, drifting into the next wave of rock. Then darkness still. Your descent begins to slow. For a brief moment, a distant voice calls from above, where you once were. "Wait. Imogen, no!" And it's gone. Your descent slows to a stop. The three of you detach and drift into suffocating darkness, and Imogen is gone.
SAM: Oh!
LAURA: Oh!
SAM: Me too?
MATT: The spell ends.
SAM: Oh!
MARISHA: We wake up?
MATT: You wake up.
SAM: Oh!
ASHLEY: Oh.
LIAM: And she's still asleep?
LAURA: Uh-oh.
MATT: Imogen, here in this darkness you sense a presence unlike anything you've ever experienced. It is so immense that your entire being vibrates with unbridled power. You worry as it suffuses you, you might be pulled apart. That white flash you saw when you screamed at the stabbing of Laudna, these moments where the world seems to rend itself around you, now that same power pulls to rend you from all sides. Yet you belong here. You are home. This is the womb, and you wish nothing more than to return to this place with your entire core. And you wake up.
LIAM: Hey, you okay?
MARISHA: How much longer was she asleep in real time?
MATT: About a moment later.
MARISHA: Okay.
LIAM: You took a little longer than us to get back, a little bit.
MARISHA: I thought we got separated again.
TALIESIN: Yeah, we lost you in there.
MARISHA: Or pushed.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: Was that you that sent us back?
LAURA: I don't know. I think so.
ASHLEY: Are you okay?
LAURA: Huh?
ASHLEY: Are you okay?
LAURA: Yeah, I'm fine.
LIAM: Insight check.
SAM: Ooh.
MARISHA: I mean--
LIAM: Natural 20.
SAM: Ooh!
ASHLEY: Oh!
LIAM: I want to know if she looks distracted, disconcerted, or if she looks like she's masking, guarding.
MATT: You want to give him a whisper? Unless you want to roll a deception or persuasion.
SAM: Whisper. Cast whisper.
ASHLEY: Oh, she's doing a whisper! She's doing a whisper!
SAM: Wow, what is she saying to him? We'll never know.
TRAVIS: Does that mean--
SAM: I don't have a whisper ad.
TALIESIN: She's saying: This whisper is brought to you by--
SAM: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon.
SAM: I'll just have a resolution, then.
MARISHA: Oh god. (groaning)
ASHLEY: "Make more time for TikTok time"?
SAM: Mm-hmm! (laughter)
MATT: God.
MARISHA: Are you all right? How did that feel?
LAURA: Um. I mean, it felt like-- It felt good. It felt good.
SAM: You think it'll help us when we go up there?
LAURA: I mean, we did see a whole lot of--
SAM: There's water.
LAURA: There was water and a lot of caverns and some sort of-- [metallic clanging]
ASHLEY: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
LAURA: Seemed like a teal or a light blue sort of rock. I don't know if that matters, but it seemed like it glowed.
SAM: Did that teal glow remind us, me, of anything?
MATT: I don't know if it--
SAM: Ooh. It's a long think.
LAURA: Ooh!
MATT: No, I'm just trying to think. It reminds you of things. In the brief flashes you saw, it had elements of crystal that reminded you of possibly brumestone or other certain things, but it went by so fast and it had, almost-- Brumestone has almost a milky quartz opaqueness to its glow, and a certain depth to it. This was almost like a teal glass crystal in places.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: Also, make a history check, or arcana, your choice.
SAM: I'll do--
LIAM: Or arcana?
SAM: They're both the same.
TRAVIS: High stakes.
SAM: High stakes. Seven.
LAURA: Aw.
MATT: Seven. Yeah. Crystal, man. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Pure zirconium.
LAURA: (laughs)
SAM: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Uncut.
MARISHA: I feel like we got a good glimpse of what we might be in for.
SAM and LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: That was pretty terrifying.
LAURA: Terrifying?
LIAM: Getting pulled through the darkness, not being able to see you guys. We didn't know where you were.
LAURA: I was right behind you guys, right?
TALIESIN: Up until the end.
LAURA: Right, I felt you guys drift away, and then I came right after.
LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: But it's good that it felt good, right? This is what we talked about, embracing it.
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: It's true.
SAM: Yeah, I mean, we've all been pushing away the things that are inside of us that make us questionable or dangerous, but now--
MARISHA: I feel like you were side-eyeing me a little bit.
SAM: Well no, me too! I tried to kill y'all yesterday.
MARISHA: That's true.
SAM: So--
TRAVIS: For only the second time.
MARISHA: Yes.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.
SAM: But if we focus in on those dark places and try to expose them or tease them out, maybe that's the best way to do it.
MARISHA: Yes.
SAM: Sunlight is the best--
LIAM: Disinfectant?
SAM: -- disinfectant?
TALIESIN: That's a weird metaphor.
SAM: Moonlight probably works the same way.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Well.
MARISHA: Do you feel like that happened? Like you embraced it?
LAURA: I mean, I don't feel any different. I don't feel any different.
MARISHA: No moon powers, like Fearne or Ashton?
LAURA: No moon powers. No, no, no, no.
TALIESIN: She already kind of has the moon powers.
LAURA: (laughs)
LIAM: And Matt, did just Imogen hear Liliana, or did we all hear that sifting through?
MATT: It was just Imogen.
LIAM: Okay.
MARISHA: Does the teal-ish crystal that we saw, does it remind us of the teal color of Imogen's-- Well, you're more purple.
LAURA: I'm purple.
TALIESIN: Never mind.
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: Oh no, Laudna's colorblind.
MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)
MARISHA: I never knew!
LAURA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: They have corrective lenses.
LAURA: Purple! Ugh!
MATT: If anything, they were flashes of unique color--
LAURA: My least favorite color.
MATT: -- striations and patterns beneath the surface of Ruidus that alluded to it being unexpected vibrance beneath the surface.
LAURA: Hmm.
TRAVIS: What's that mean?
SAM: Well, my Heroes' Yeast is only going to last another 23 and a half hours, so we should probably get some shut-eye.
LAURA: Some real sleep.
SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: All right.
TRAVIS: Does anybody need to watch you when we really go to sleep?
LAURA: I don't think so. I think-- How often do dreams hit twice, right?
TALIESIN: Happens to me all the time, but that's weird, so. And they'll have Laudna. It'll be fine.
MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: You'll scream bloody murder if something bad happens, right?
MARISHA: Yes!
TALIESIN: Okay, thank you.
MARISHA: I'm a very light sleeper.
SAM: Or if something really good happens. (snickers)
LAURA: (laughs)
SAM: (laughs)
LAURA: (snickers like Sam)
TRAVIS: I'm going to put on the-- (exhales steamy breath) the Monocle of True Essence. I fogged the fuck out of it. Hold on. I did that in the wrong order. (laughter)
TRAVIS: There we go. (laughter)
ASHLEY: (squeaky rag) (fogging breath)
TRAVIS: Can I use See Invisibility to look around the room and see if Imogen's dream has attracted anything that wasn't there before?
MATT: That's valid. Placing it on and watching your vision-- It's interesting, you just unfogged it, put it on, and when you initiate it, it almost fogs again. But as the fog parts rapidly within, there's a new gossamer sheen on everything in the room. As you look about, nothing that seems to catch your attention.
LAURA: Did you do a-- (laughs)
TRAVIS: I can see all of you naked.
ASHLEY: No, you can't.
TRAVIS: Yes, I can.
LIAM: On the inside of your eyelids? We know.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LAURA: (laughs)
SAM: I don't wear clothes.
TRAVIS: FCG!
LAURA: Yes, you do. You have a coat on now.
SAM: Oh, that's right. (laughter)
SAM: I forgot my character art.
LAURA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Looks good for me!
SAM: All right, good night.
ASHLEY: All right.
MARISHA: All right, good night.
MATT: You all head to your respective bedchambers for an evening's full rest, preparing for whatever comes in the morning before you.
LIAM: Matt?
MATT: Yeah?
LIAM: When he's sure that everyone is asleep, in the middle of the night, Orym knocks on Nana Morri's door.
TRAVIS: Ooh!
ASHLEY: Ooh!
MARISHA: Is he also going to make a deal?
SAM: Ooh!
MARISHA: Is he also going to make a deal?
TALIESIN: Oh boy!
ASHLEY: Let's do it!
MARISHA: It's Orym, so his deal is going to be like--
MATT: So you--
MARISHA: That'd be awesome.
MATT: -- gently tiptoe down through the tree, hearing the sound of thousands of gentle crickets clicking away throughout the boughs and the leaves. You get to the edge of the Collection's door. As you're about to knock, you hear a distant voice further down the tree go, (Morri 1) "You're up and around."
LIAM: Evening.
MATT: You turn and look, and right back where you tiptoed past, without even hearing her approach, her lumbering footsteps always a sign of her arrival, she is standing still at the base of the branch that leads out to the Collection, arms folded in front and looking right at you.
LIAM: It's not often something sneaks past my attention. That's impressive.
MATT: "You are in my domain, after all."
LIAM: That's valid. I actually was looking for you.
MATT: "Whatever for?"
LIAM: Well, the way I understand it from what Fearne tells me is, you can help people.
MATT: "I can."
LIAM: You make deals?
MATT: "(chuckles) If it suits."
LIAM: Okay, well, my friends are all pretty amazing. The things they can do, I can't even fit it all in my head. And, I mean, I'm really good with a sword. But I'm a little nervous I'm not ready for what we're about to do tomorrow.
MATT: "None of you are ready for what you're about to do tomorrow."
LIAM: The point is, I feel maybe the least ready in our group, and I want to see this through. I want to get it done, what we're setting out to do, and I want to get them back. Fearne. I want to get Fearne back.
MATT: "Of course."
LIAM: And all of them. So if you can somehow make me better at protecting them, or stronger-- Strong's not the right word. More capable at what I do. I might agree to a lot.
MATT: Her attention drifts from your eyes, past your shoulder, to look beyond.
LIAM: I would follow that.
MATT: You turn to look, and as you turn, you see her now standing on the opposite side of you--
LAURA: Oh, creepy as fuck!
MATT: -- with a table set in front of her, her hands clasped as she places a singular lantern upon the table.
LAURA: Oh no!
MATT: A flickering white light within.
LIAM: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
MATT: The glow of the tree, the interior of the manor itself fading to black all around until it's just the two of you, face to face. "Your passion is to protect your friends, yes?"
LIAM: My friends, your granddaughter. I don't know if there's a friends and family discount.
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: "And what do you have to offer, little Ashari?"
LIAM: Well, if I see them all through, and we get it done, I'll serve you.
MATT: "Hmm. (unsettling laughter)" You hear her sniff through the alien lack of true nostrils and as she does, you feel these leaves and vines that you didn't even notice had grown from your armor detach and float through a breeze towards her. She goes, "You smell of the touch of divinity. That makes you enticing."
SAM: Did we know that?
MATT: "Well." She glances around into the shadows surrounding. "Now that Fearne's all grown up and might be finding her own way, it does get a bit lonely here in the manor. Maybe it'd be nice to have a caretaker."
LIAM: These have to be worded just right, Imogen said. That's if we see it through. Every one of Bells Hells makes it back, and we see it through. That's an easy trade.
MATT: "Every one of you makes it back, and you see this through."
LIAM: Back alive. Happy, safe, and healthy.
MATT: "Well, you have to start happy to return happy, and I think health is in varying states. Return, at least, as you are."
LIAM: Return alive.
MATT: (Morri 2) "Very well." Her hand flickers across the lantern, carries the flame with it, and extends it towards you.
LIAM: My payment is in advance.
MATT: (Morri 1) "How else am I to ensure you uphold your end of the deal? I want success as much as you do. I also like a little business on the side."
LIAM: He reaches his infinitely tiny hand up into her massive one.
MATT: She clasps around it, and you feel almost like your feet are pelt off the ground and dangle for a moment as she lifts you up. The cold flame against your hand seems to shrink into your skin, and you feel that cold sensation snake through your veins, like someone had just run freezing water through them. Your entire body shivers. You feel what hairs you have stand up on end, and you can't make a sound, as if you feel a brain freeze sensation crawl over your mind. She releases your hand, and in that moment, you're standing back in the warm interior of Ligament Manor, just in front of our newly named Sir-- What was it?
TRAVIS: Push-Pull.
LIAM: Push-Pull.
MATT: Sir Push-Pull! She steps back. "Well, I wish you the greatest of luck, and I look forward to our future together."
LIAM: I hope we-- I hope to see that day.
MATT: "Just call upon me when you need some help."
LIAM: Night.
MATT: "Good night."
LIAM: Orym will go find Fearne and try not to wake her and curl into the crook of her goat leg.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Mm!
MATT: Varying degrees of a night's decent sleep find you all, but you do get a long rest. In the midst of that cold but safe space, Imogen, you can't help but keep hearing the sound of your mother's voice, thinking back to that sensation in that core of the moon, and missing it. And that's where we'll go to break. (sighing)
TRAVIS: Ooh, hoo hoo hoo hoo.
SAM: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
TRAVIS: What happened?
SAM: Oh boy.
ASHLEY: Oh boy.
LIAM: High stakes.
MATT: Making deals and making deals.
TRAVIS: Totally normal things.
SAM: Multiple deals?
MATT: Totally.
LIAM: High stakes.
MARISHA: Wowzers.
LAURA: Seven.
TALIESIN: The Bad Idea Dam finally broke.
MATT: Apparently!
LAURA: Yeah, just all of it at once.
MATT: Okay, then. Okay.
LAURA: You led the way. You led the way, Ashton.
TALIESIN: I did.
TRAVIS: Going out of 2023 with a bang.
TALIESIN: I beat that wall straight down, and now everyone's like, "Well, it couldn't be worse." (laughter)
MATT: All right, so best toymaker in the world, and--
SAM: Alive.
MATT: A chance to help your friends and keep them alive.
LAURA: Did you want to be the best toymaker in the world, or the most famous?
MARISHA: The most famous.
SAM: He just said famous.
LAURA: You said the most famous toymaker in the world.
LIAM: There's only one best Troy Baker in the world. (laughter)
MATT: All right, back here in a few minutes. We'll pick it up from there. We'll see where this goes. Oh boy!
LAURA: Oh boy!
Break[]
Narrator: Loki's evil invades all realms. He must be stopped. Unleash your wrath. (creepy music)
TALIESIN: Delve into a new tabletop roleplaying game of investigative horror with the "Candela Obscura Core Rulebook" using the Illuminated Worlds System by Darrington Press. Roam the turn-of-the-century- inspired setting of the Fairelands, including the bustling city of Newfaire and the ancient ruins of Oldfaire below. Assemble a circle of investigators within the paranormal secret society of Candela Obscura. You'll analyze strange and horrifying events, fight back against dangerous phenomena, and contain the bleed that spreads from corruptive magick. Choose from 10 custom character sheets to empower your investigations and explorations. Use tactical intuition and brawn with the Soldier specialty, use your charm with finesse and flair as the Magician specialty, or study and practice mystical arts as an Occultist. Explore districts of Newfaire, competing organizations, four full assignments, and dozens of example assignments to inspire you. If you choose to brave the role of Game Master, this guide contains everything needed to pave the way for your Candela Obscura investigators. Offered in both a standard edition as well as an ornate limited edition for collectors, the "Candela Obscura Core Rulebook" contains 204 art-filled pages, including maps, items, immersive notes, mysteries, and plenty more to power your very own story. Keep this tome close for the knowledge obtained may be the key to protecting you, your allies, and the Fairelands.
LAURA: Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. This is pretty badass. I mean the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. It's too powerful. This holiday season, give the gift of effortless style. Ooo so comfy cozy. Roll an investigation if you want. It's basically perfect. Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. This is a lot of stuff, you guys. We have so many cool things right now. And hey if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now. (adventurous music)
TALIESIN: What keeps the children of Hale safe from their curiosity? Nursery rhymes serve as cautionary tales to explain Candela Obscura's earliest adversaries. So when a creature of legend returns to the hollowed labyrinth of Grayslate, a new and unusual circle of investigators is formed, tasked to face an unholy corruption. As the unsuspecting Newfairens bear witness to this macabre phenomena, each investigator must steel their mind, perhaps even from themselves. The Circle of Tide and Bone. Assignment #31-58: The Antiquarian.
(tense mysterious music) (ominous music)
NARRATOR 1: The darkness around them is alive with vast, slow-coiling, bioluminescent movement. NARRATOR 2: They feel the Fold buffeted against them with somewhat more force than usual. NARRATOR 1: An odd, liquid, seismic tremoring in the fog around them, as again, Oh, it, it, it is indescribably eerie. NARRATOR 2: The beacon light blinks on and off, on and off, by turns plunging them into absolute darkness and giving them a fraction of a second's glimpse into what might be lurking there. And the next time the beacon light comes on, they see above their heads, rushing silently through the Fold, coiling around them, the underbelly of - something.
(epic music) (mischievous music) (typewriter clacking) (peaceful music)
NARRATOR: Holly Mistletoe thought she had it all. HOLLY: As you can plainly see, sales are up 7%. NARRATOR: But when she finds herself back in her hometown for a very special holiday. HOLLY: I can't believe I have to come back to my hometown, it's so provincial. (gasps) Seamus? Seamus O'Shamrock? I didn't know you still lived here. You own and operate a small, charming coffee and pastry shop? SEAMUS: Only when I'm not raising horses. NARRATOR: She'll discover just how much her life was missing. HOLLY: Has anyone ever told you you're a really good baker? SEAMUS: Has anyone ever told you you're more adorable than the custom emotes you can use in Critical Role's professionally moderated chat with a Twitch subscription? Happy Valentine's Day. NARRATOR: This holiday season, or that holiday season, or whatever holiday season it might be. HOLLY: What is it? SEAMUS: Void Tech is going to foreclose on the horse ranch. HOLLY: They can't do that, not on the 4th of July! (fast string music) HOLLY: With the proceeds from our wholesome Halloween haunted house, we can raise enough money to save the horse ranch from your greedy company, Mr. Fatstacks. MAXAMILLIAN: Damn you, Mistletoe. If it hadn't been for your big city business savvy, I would've been able to fool those small town provincial bumpkins! SEAMUS: We may be provincial, but we have values. MAXAMILLIAN: (scoffs) SEAMUS: Like watching episodes of Critical Role before they go on YouTube with a Twitch subscription! MAXAMILLIAN: Fiddle faddle! (grunts) NARRATOR: Stand up and celebrate. MAXAMILLIAN: I eat my feelings! (growls) NARRATOR: Make every day a holiday. HOLLY: Oh, okay. Boop. (giggles) SEAMUS: (sneezes) HOLLY: No. NARRATOR: And give the gift of love. HOLLY: (gasps) Is this? (soft electronic zap) SEAMUS: A subscription to Critical Role. I can gift those with my Twitch subscription to Critical Role. HOLLY: Yes. NARRATOR: Laura Bailey as Holly Mistletoe. HOLLY: Don't be violent, that's not romantic. NARRATOR: Travis Willingham is Seamus O'Shamrock, and featuring Sam Riegel as Maxamillian Fatstacks in "A Holiday Subscription for Love. The Ballad of Mistletoes and Shamrocks: Part 2."
(lively orchestral music)
Part II[]
MATT: And welcome back. (laughs)
TRAVIS: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Serious business.
MATT: 10 years nearly I've put up with you guys. (laughter)
MATT: So. (laughter)
MATT: With the morning greeting you, supposedly, in a realm in which there is no true sunrise, in the perpetual twilight of the Fey Realm, the interior of Ligament Manor greets you after a, for most of you, a welcome rest. As soon as the weight--
SAM: Long rest.
MARISHA: Dude.
MATT: -- of the day and days before you sink in, what would you like to do?
TRAVIS: I'm alive.
LAURA: We should get going.
SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: You're alive for sure?
TRAVIS: Two zeroes and a seven.
LAURA: Nice.
MARISHA: He skirts it.
LIAM: Double O.
SAM: He skrrts it.
MARISHA: He skrrts it.
TALIESIN: Two zeroes and a seven? You 007? You Bonded this?
TRAVIS: Trip zero's what I'm looking for.
TALIESIN: Damn.
LIAM: Goldbond.
TRAVIS: Aha!
LAURA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: (laughs)
LIAM: Yeah, let's stop putting this off. Let's go.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Wait, before we leave-- (laughs)
MARISHA: I also want to talk to Nana Morri.
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
MATT: Everyone sneaking off to make their own separate deals. (laughter)
MATT: Nana's like, "Oh!"
LAURA: That would be so perfect.
MATT: "This is the best friends ever." (laughter)
TRAVIS: I need more lanterns.
TALIESIN: Nana Morri, I've come to bargain.
MATT: (laughs) "My investment in Fearne is finally coming to bear."
LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
MATT: (laughs)
LIAM: I want you to get the stone out of your granddaughter's chest and put it in mine. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Oh man.
MATT: Waking up and gathering your things, the sense of the coming exit by the companions and denizens of the tree can be felt as you, Fearne, emerge from your personal abode.
ASHLEY: (yawns)
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: You find--
LAURA: Morning! (laughs)
ASHLEY: Morning.
MARISHA: Nightmare Snow White?
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MATT: You find Peepers--
ASHLEY: ♪ (fairytale humming) ♪
MATT: -- Dr. Nesbitt, all manner of the various creatures and critters that have been with you through the years, all waiting on you by branches. As you emerge, you see Peepers bound up a bit and glance at you with his odd ears as Dr. Nesbitt, "Good morning, Fearne."
ASHLEY: Hello, Dr. Nesbitt.
MATT: "I heard that you'll be leaving us again."
ASHLEY: Yes. I believe we'll probably be leaving today.
MATT: "Oh?"
ASHLEY: Yes. So, I will miss you, but I'll see you again. Make sure to tell everybody I say hello.
MATT: "I will."
ASHLEY: Give Cathy a squeeze.
MATT: "I shall."
SAM: Cathy?
ASHLEY: Okay.
MARISHA: I don't know.
MATT: "Might I have your room while you're gone?"
ASHLEY: Of course you can! You all can.
MATT: "You heard her, Peepers."
ASHLEY: Well, make sure you share. Make sure you share.
MATT: "Of course."
ASHLEY: If Bompers wants to come in, you know, let them all have space.
MATT: "We'll make sure to leave Bompers a wide breadth."
ASHLEY: Okay, great. He's a big boy.
MATT: As you head down, you can smell a morning breakfast cooking, and a goodbye breakfast feast has been mostly prepared by the Calloways. As you head down, you can see Ollie's down there setting this table, this long stretch of cloven blackwood that is warped and curled at the edges, like the fungus-ridden bark gives these bulbous textured corners to it, but it's been planed and smoothed and stained. It is a magnificent piece of woodwork. You can't help but smile and maybe be a little jealous upon arriving at the table.
TRAVIS: (grumbles)
MATT: But Ollie looks up. "Oh, good morning, friends. Glad you could make it. We're hoping to see you off nice and proper. So have a seat, have a seat. I believe--"
LAURA: You ain't going to poison us or anything, right? (laughs) I'm just kidding, I don't--
MATT: "Well, she's gotten better at her cooking. I'll go check in and see if she needs any help."
MARISHA: Technically, we're immune to poison.
TRAVIS: I was going to say.
MARISHA: So we can certainly try.
LAURA: Oh my gosh, that's right.
ASHLEY: Oh, right.
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: You hear Birdie in the back like, "Well, if it's poison you want, I can put it in there."
TRAVIS: Oh, no, no.
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: "Kidding, just joking." She comes in. She has the apron on and she sets these dishes out.
ASHLEY: I'll help.
MATT: You help out?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: "Oh, thank you, dear." You all sit around the table and eventually you hear the (heavy footfalls) the lumbering steps of Nana Morri as she approaches and takes her seat at the end of the table. You watch as she steps to the edge of it and her massive, high-backed chair seems to almost grow to catch her. She sits into it like (chair rumbling). (Morri 1) "Well, this is a fine morning to share before the rest of destiny takes you."
ASHLEY: That sounds so intense.
MATT: "Please feast."
ASHLEY: Mm.
LAURA: This looks delicious.
MATT: Birdie who's, you know, standing by, taking her mittens off, goes, (Birdie) "Well, I certainly hope it is. I've gotten quite good at this over the years. Make it with a little bit of love and just a hint of nutmeg."
MARISHA: Ooh.
TALIESIN: Mm.
MARISHA: She's one of those people that--
LAURA: What about a little cinnamon?
MARISHA: -- put nutmeg in everything.
TALIESIN: I like it, good.
MARISHA: Mm, nutmeg.
LAURA: Passing out some pancakes.
ASHLEY: Press two.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah, no.
MARISHA: Mm.
ASHLEY: Thank you.
TALIESIN: Always say just, you know, eat well, eat up. It may be your last, so it-- Oh. Yeah, that actually-- Never mind. I'm just going to let that roll.
LAURA: Sausage?
TRAVIS: What?
LAURA: Sausage?
LIAM: Should've led with the protein.
TRAVIS: (scarfs)
TALIESIN: Yep.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: (laughs)
LIAM: I grab eight.
TALIESIN: Just, yeah, no.
LAURA: Oh, we need some metal for FCG, preferably silver.
SAM: I do like silver.
ASHLEY: Not copper.
TALIESIN: Mm.
MATT: (Morri 1) "Oh, right. You're a unique one. I've got something special for you, my little collaborator." She stands up for a second and looks past her long neck, stretching up, and as she lifts her finger this way, you watch this massive bright red and green pattern moth (wings flapping erratically) flickers from nowhere above. As it comes down, it dive-bombs the table. It drops something that (metal clanging) rolls over, and you see it's this silver sphere, about two inches across, that has these beautiful, intricate marks around it.
SAM: Oh!
MATT: As it rolls to stop not far from your plate, and you go and inspect it, it has what looks to be faces pressed into it or sculpted into it, like a bunch of different expressions on all sides.
LAURA: An emotion egg.
SAM: Do I eat this or admire it?
MATT: "Why not both?"
LIAM: Have you seen "Hellraiser"?
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Great play.
SAM: Is it something I should keep? Is it an item of import or value?
MATT: "No, no. Not at all."
TRAVIS: (laughs)
SAM: Insight check. (laughter)
MATT: Make an insight check.
LIAM: Super low-key on Nana Morri's part.
MATT: (laughs)
SAM: Insight check. Where's my insight? Oh, 14.
MATT: 14. She seems to honestly not care about it. It seemed to be tossed by your plate to be eaten, so.
SAM: Okay. Orym, throw it in my mouth.
LIAM: I'm looking at all the faces on this ball and thinking of the topiary people.
ASHLEY: It's fine.
TALIESIN: Is it the same face over and over again making a different expression or different people's faces all making different expressions?
LAURA: Or is it little smiley faces, like emojis?
MATT: No, they're simple carvings of a face, you know, out of the silver. They're all about maybe half an inch in size and they're patterned in different positions and different expressions. Some look happy.
SAM: Like people trapped in there?
MATT: Some look frightened. Some look neutral.
ASHLEY: For sure.
MATT: Some look sleeping.
LIAM: It's the Phantom Zone.
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM: Okay. Well.
TALIESIN: Learn to draw comics.
LIAM: In for a penny, in for a pound.
ASHLEY: Going to taste real yummy.
TALIESIN: Fore.
LAURA: (metallic thunk) (laughter)
TALIESIN: Terrible throw.
MATT: You catch it, and it (rolling) comes to rest inside.
TRAVIS: Nice.
LIAM: Oh, like those things at the airport?
LAURA: Yes.
MATT: Yep. (laughter)
SAM: I also have a claw in me.
ASHLEY: Ah!
MATT: Yep. (laughter)
MATT: Oh my god. (laughter)
MATT: It comes to rest inside.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Faces.
MATT: Yeah, that was some fine, fine silver.
SAM: No other changes to my disposition?
TRAVIS: This motherfucker.
MATT: No. (laughs)
TRAVIS: Those fucking dimples are calling his shit. (laughter)
MATT: What?
ASHLEY: Dimples!
MATT: No, but a moment later, you do feel this-- You've never felt a real belch before, but there's a pocket of air or--
MARISHA: Do screaming souls come out of his mouth?
MATT: Screams do.
SAM: (screams)
LAURA: (gasps)
MARISHA: (screams) Wait, really?
MATT: Seven or eight different voices go-- (terrified screams)
LAURA: Oh my god.
MATT: -- in your mouth for a second, and they echo and fade into the tree.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
TRAVIS: What?!
LAURA: What happened?
SAM: Mm, soul food. (laughter)
TALIESIN: (groans)
TRAVIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: Boo.
TRAVIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: Boo.
ASHLEY: Boo!
TALIESIN: No.
MARISHA: Yes!
TRAVIS: I'm glad we didn't even try to identify before we--
ASHLEY: How was that?
LAURA: I know. Why didn't we look at it? Why didn't you look at it? You have goggles.
SAM: It's food!
LAURA: Why didn't you look at it?
SAM: I'd have to reattune to the goggles just to see what it is.
LAURA: That's stupid.
TALIESIN: You did nothing wrong.
LAURA: Pass those down to somebody else.
MARISHA: Seems like the souls are free now.
SAM: Who can wear them?
TALIESIN: I eat plenty of things with faces. I don't see what the problem is.
MARISHA: You did a service.
LAURA: You could do it.
ASHLEY: You did. You set them free.
LAURA: You have an extra attunable item, don't you?
LIAM: I do.
LAURA: You could wear some goggles that would let you identify things.
LIAM: Goggles? They're twice the size of my face, though.
LAURA: They're magic. They shrink down to your head.
LIAM: That's ridiculous.
TALIESIN: You use the little--
LIAM: That doesn't make any sense.
TALIESIN: -- thing on the back. You pull it and it shrinks. Anybody can wear them.
SAM: For flavor, they're not actually goggles. It's just a lens that pops out.
LIAM: Magic items that shrink? That is the silliest thing I've ever heard of. (laughter)
TALIESIN: We live in the real world. This stuff does not-- Yeah.
MATT: (laughs)
TALIESIN: You're welcome.
MATT: He says while at this table with these people at this location.
TRAVIS: Uh-huh.
TALIESIN: There are limits to-- Yeah.
LIAM: Don't insult my intelligence. Give me the lens!
LAURA: (laughs)
SAM: (flicks lens)
LIAM: Okay. I'll see you in 20 minutes. (attaches lens)
MATT: (laughs)
LIAM: It's twice the size of my head.
SAM: Okay.
MATT: As you finish up your meal--
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: There's some banter, there's some laughter, there's some awkward pauses. (laughs)
MATT: But as the meal finishes and Birdie finishes and pulls her napkin out from her cleavage where she tucked it in and finishes wiping her mouth and looks over and sets it down. (Birdie) "Well. We're going to hang back here for a while and just readjust to life maybe not always on the run until we get our footing again and find a new start, should all you succeed in what you're doing and maybe set your tether free a little too, but--"
ASHLEY: You both will be safer here, I imagine.
MATT: "I imagine so as well." She looks over at Ollie, who nods. (Ollie) "Whatever happens, you know, we're thinking fondly of you. We're sending all our wishes. When all this is over, I think we both agree we'd like to get to know who you've become a little more."
ASHLEY: I would like that very much. I would like to get to know both of you a little better.
MATT: "Me too."
ASHLEY: I wanted to ask you, have you had any visions or anything?
MATT: "Not really, unfortunately. The Squint has sort of left me since this whole-- Argilial--" (Birdie) "Apogee Solstice."
ASHLEY: Oh, oh right. (Ollie) "Apogee Solstice went on, so I've been a bit hazy. But if it ever kicks in, I'll make sure that Morrigan knows. I mean, she can let you know, I think. Right?" At Nana, and she goes-- (noncommittal shrug) (laughter) (Birdie) "Well, whatever's done, you're going to be amazing. You and whatever weird fire goddess you're becoming."
ASHLEY: Oof.
LAURA: Woo.
ASHLEY: Yes. We'll see.
MATT: "Certainly made a splash in the surrounding swamps. Most of the folks around here can't stop talking about it."
ASHLEY: Oh, really?
MATT: "Oh, it's been the talk all morning."
ASHLEY: (gasps)
MATT: "All the bumblebirds and--"
ASHLEY: Talk of the town?
MATT: "I mean, I'm sure towns have heard of it, too, but more the treetop villages and swamp-side bustles have all been abuzz with the new fire spirit in town. Mm, just proud."
ASHLEY: Thank you.
MATT: "But y'all better make sure she gets back okay or I'll fucking kill each and every one of you."
SAM: Oh, okay.
TALIESIN: Seems fair.
TRAVIS: That's what I'm talking about.
ASHLEY: That's fair. That's fair.
LIAM: We've got it covered.
MATT: "I figured."
LIAM: We'll get her back.
MATT: "See? Even they don't blink anymore at that sort of talk. That means you're tougher. I like it."
ASHLEY: It's true. Well. Shall we?
SAM: Yeah, of course. If you're good to go.
ASHLEY: I'm good to go. I think I'm good to go.
MARISHA: And, Nana, you said you could maybe, you know, do a little (humming) with the time.
MATT: (Morri 1) "Of course. I didn't follow for a second there. But if you don't mind," and she refers over to the far corner where you see Allura has been quietly eating, and goes, "Right. Um. Eye contact. Wonderful. Of course. If we're all ready and we have our things, I can return us to the proximity of our destination with fair chance of success. I believe with your blessing, to do so with little time wasted, correct, Morrigan?" (Morri 1) "Correct, trust me. You'll feel my tweaking. You'll know it's working."
LAURA: How close will we be to the site?
MATT: (Allura) "Well, we're not going directly to it. That would be folly, but we are heading towards the west side encampment. That's where a number of my compatriots and a number of the alliances of those who have mustered forces into the Hellcatch have situated. There are two main encampments, the western and the eastern side. But this is where the individuals that I know of and been preparing for your arrival lie. So, hopefully, rather close to there. If not, we'll make the distance rapidly as well."
LAURA: All right. I'm wondering if we should use the Scroll of Mass Nondetection before we head out or if we should wait until we're at the encampment.
MATT: "I imagine we could."
TALIESIN: I mean--
LAURA: It's an eight-hour spell?
MATT: "It should be, yes."
LAURA: What do y'all think?
TALIESIN: I think at the encampment, personally.
MARISHA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Later?
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: All right.
SAM: All right, take us away.
MATT: "Very well," and she stands up and (inhales).
SAM: I believe in you, Allura.
MATT: "Well."
SAM: Guidance.
MATT: "I appreciate that."
ASHLEY: I'm going to give a quick hug to Birdie and to Ollie.
SAM: Aww.
MATT: They both take you in and the three of you form a triangular hug together for a moment. (Ollie) "That's nice." As they pull away a bit, you can see Birdie quickly tries to wipe the dampness from her cheeks, as does Ollie to a lesser degree. They both step back and take you in, taller than both of them. (laughs) A vision now of all sorts of strange powers, a confluence of chaos through and through. (Birdie) "You come back now, all right?"
ASHLEY: I will. And you be safe, both of you.
MATT: "We will, I'll keep him safe."
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: "You want tell stories now."
ASHLEY: All right.
MATT: "The rest of you tell stories about how cool she is, too."
ASHLEY: Well yes, of course.
MATT: "Good."
ASHLEY: Okay. Love you, Nana.
MATT: Nana Morri She smiles. "Love you, too." As she smiles and rises up from the table and comes and joins the rest of your troop, she extends her long arms in each direction and you watch as all these little fireflies descend out of the weave of roots and branches that makes the ceiling of this eating region of the central base manor. As they swirl around, they all begin to dance and land upon your shoulders and Allura begins her incantation, pulling out a singular rod that you can see has a carved spiral of color in it that sits in a deep cerulean blue, almost like a veined corkscrew through an iron rod and as she takes it, she takes a bit of dust and throws it upon the rod, coats it for a second and then holds it aloft with two of her fingers. She looks at the rest of all of you. Looks over at Nana Morri and Nana Morri takes her hands and clasps them together in front of her and as that happens, all the fireflies (swoosh) swarm to the center and surround this rod. As Allura begins muttering her incantation beneath her breath, the fireflies begin to vibrate and as they do, Allura's spellcasting gets (suddenly slow motion) slower.
ALL: Ooh!
MATT: For a brief moment, it's like this second goes on for an hour. You're trapped in an uncomfortable instant. (heavy swoosh) With that, suddenly the fireflies (whoosh) scatter off in all directions and you feel all of you tumble in towards that direction like you're falling down a well ass-over-tea kettle, falling into this dark expanse before suddenly you all (thud) find yourself now once again on hard ground, your boots colliding with rock and earth. You glance around and see yourselves now in the familiar expanse of the Hellcatch Valley. You see the open desert hills, the dusty dunes, the parched trees and the somewhat clouded sky. The difference here being that there is a very, very strong reddish hue to the entirety of the landscape around you. As you peer upon the horizon, you can see the interesting shift in topography. You can see what looks to be maybe a quarter mile away, a ramshackle fortress or a fort, an exterior wall with all manner of structures and vehicles or war machines of some kind buttressed around it. You can see a cloven chasm not far from it where a skyship is currently grounded and hidden within. But as you look off towards the horizon, sweeping across the direction, you can see the beam of the Bloody Bridge thick and sparking as it fires off into the sky and there looming, whether it be a trick of the light, the atmosphere or what, larger than you remember it being, the burning red glow of Ruidus, ominously silent, consuming the air above you. Allura steps. "All right, very well, we've arrived and it, yes, is as welcoming as I remembered. Well, how are we all feeling?"
LIAM: I'm trepidatious, but ready to be on with it.
LAURA: Mm-hmm.
TRAVIS: (slowly) Generally feeling, is this normal?
LAURA: Shit.
TRAVIS: (slowly) Help me.
ASHLEY: What's happening?
TALIESIN: I pick up some sand and throw it at your face.
TRAVIS: Ah!
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Thanks.
TALIESIN: Yeah, nah.
MARISHA: It made his voice all sexy, though.
LAURA: (laughs) (sputters)
TRAVIS: It was horrible.
LIAM: You like slowed down records, do you? (laughter)
LIAM: (slow motion woos)
MARISHA: Just a little creepy, you know, is good.
TALIESIN: You're up. Right, okay.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: (slowly) Pink Floyd. (laughter)
MATT: So there are miles and miles off from the Tishtan Excavation site where the Malleus Key and the base of the Bloody Bridge currently resides. You can see the rocky hills around and as you begin to walk with Allura towards the west side encampment, you can see there are whole legions of troops. Hundreds and hundreds gathered at different points, some marching around, some keeping a perimeter. You can see within the makeshift walls and around the exterior of them, there are signs of battle. There are some bits of wreckage that have been mostly scavenged. You can see signs of destroyed skyships scattered about the surrounding battlefield and beyond. There is a sense here that there's been warfare, but nothing all-in. Just skirmishes. Both sides testing boundaries. Both sides setting up walls and holding them. There is a very air of held breath and waiting as you approach the outside of the encampment. You can see amongst the battlements here, there are numerous war mages that now currently work to magically sculpt the battlements. You watch as parts of the ground shift and build columns of stone. You can watch as druidic powers grow trees from what you assumed would be rather barren land that rise up and wrap over the stone to further barricade the exterior walls. You can see among these defenses banners and colors that are a mix of Marquesian, Issylran, and Tal'Dorei factions. The war engines as you get closer to the exterior, some functional, some in disrepair, some utterly obliterated, are massive war rams or carts with ballista, multiple ballista affixed to it. Some just natural, powerful, massive siege weapons. Some enchanted with some level of arcana to enhance their capabilities. You can see, everyone here as you begin to see faces and energy, looks over to take you in and then quickly goes back to their business. There is definitely a worried glance and an expectation to defend or engage before they see Allura and they go back to their training. They go back to their waiting. But there is a palpable anxiety in the air. As you enter through the front gates, Allura waving her hand as they open the front, (heavy scrapes) these massive stone doors that pull back, you hear the ratcheting of chains as soldiers on each side crank them open. You enter the interior of the encampment and you can see the multiple makeshift barracks that have been sculpted from the surrounding stone. It has this natural-- It's almost like someone grew a mountain to serve this purpose and looking at those that are currently processing it, that's literally what happened here. You approach and can see there are a number of figures that begin to walk up towards Allura and your troop as you arrive, most of them flanked by or being followed by at least 15 soldiers each. You see one figure, it looks to be a male orc man, thin, very handsome with this well-kept chinstrap beard that comes to two points at the edges of his rather chiseled jawline. His dark hair coiffed up in a curl before the gray sides come in. You see his tusks on each side have rings that are embedded in them. He wears this long red and purple robe that has intricate designs all across it and a number of rings on each finger. One of the other figures that approaches a little bit behind you see is a female silver dragonborn, who is missing an arm. She is armored with a massive chest plate, long cloak and you can see is wearing upon the tabard in front the symbol of the Council of Tal'Dorei.
LIAM: Ooh!
MATT: Then beyond them to the right, you see another figure, an elderly human man of dark red-brown skin. His colors of gray balding hair and beard make him look old at a distance but as he approaches, you can see as he walks with this large cloth mantle across his chest and you get glimpses of his arms and his chest. He is massively ripped. He is the most muscular old man you've ever seen and as he begins to walk, you see the soldiers that walk alongside him themselves also wear similar red and white colored tabards and robes around them and they themselves are also extremely physically fit.
LIAM: Are they Issylran?
MATT: The colors of their banners do have Issylran textures to them and you can see the Stormlord symbols adorning parts of the armor.
MARISHA: Oh! Ah!
TALIESIN: There we are.
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Felt that coming.
MATT: Allura says, "Just a moment, please wait here. I need to make--"
ASHLEY: Wait, are you going to go talk to them?
MATT: "I'm going to make your introductions."
ASHLEY: Oh.
TALIESIN: We get introductions now, okay.
MATT: So she steps forward and you can see them all talk a bit with haste, some of them looking past and taking you all in. Some with mistrust or confusion, some just general curiosity. Many of the soldiers just staying at the side but you can see them all. It's interesting, they don't see you as strangers. They look to you with an expectant curiosity. After some brief discussion, Allura turns back and says "But to that degree, I would like to bring amongst our council here our volunteer troop of experienced adventurers at the behest of the Council of Tal'Dorei, the Arcana Pansophical, and the Chamber of Whitestone, Bells Hells. Please."
TRAVIS: (clapping)
ASHLEY: Yes, well.
LAURA: Hi.
TALIESIN: We clap ourselves.
MARISHA: Hey-- yeah-- (clap)
MATT: "If I might introduce to you, we have amongst you from the heart of Aeshanadoor, Mythtaker Qi Mandozi," and refers to the orc man who first approached, who gives a nod with a keen grin.
TRAVIS: Qi Mandozi.
MATT: Yeah, Qi Mandozi. Q-I.
TRAVIS: Oh.
LAURA: Mm. Yeah, that makes so much more sense.
TALIESIN: That's more-- yeah.
ASHLEY: Key?
LAURA: Me, too, like a fucking--
LIAM: Naw, it's just K-U-I.
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: "The Heraldry of the Tal'Dorei Council, Guardian Tofor Brotoras." (oohing)
LAURA: Tofor. M
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: "And of the Vasselheim Bastions here representing the Dawn Marshal, Earthbreaker Groon."
MARISHA: Yeah!
TRAVIS: Let's go.
MATT: As they look to the rest of you, Tofor Brotoras--
SAM: ♪ Mythtaker, Earthbreaker ♪
MATT: "Well, we've been made aware of your soon-to-be received arrival and have been told of your capabilities. So we are eager to see what you're capable of." As the silver dragonborn nods.
TRAVIS: Silver?
MATT: Yeah, silver dragonborn. The orc character, the Mythtaker Qi Mandozi goes--
SAM: ♪ Mythtaker ♪
MATT: "Well, it is quite curious as well to see quite a motley crew brought to be the gatherers of such--
LAURA: Hot boy Qi! Sorry. Put it out there, keep going. (laughter)
SAM: Just because of his accent?
LAURA: Yeah. Keep going.
SAM: Cool. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Call it how we see it.
SAM: She said that in character. (laughter)
LAURA: Well, you all heard in your mind all at the same time.
TALIESIN: (startled cough) Mm. Yeah.
MATT: "I have heard some tale of your abilities and I'm very excited to work together to bring all of this to a positive and brisk end. Mm."
LIAM: We're a little rough around the edges, but people tend to underestimate us and we have firsthand experience with the folks we're fucking with, so.
MATT: You hear the voice go, (Groon) "Underestimation. That is a powerful thing." You hear the low, guttural rumble of the gentleman introduced to you as Earthbreaker Groon steps forward a bit and of all of them who carry a charisma or a presence to them, Earthbreaker doesn't-- He's not a massive man as far as the space he physically takes up. But the force of his presence seems to almost carry a weight 10 to 15 feet out in all directions. This is an individual that walks with the strength of the gods and a history of not being fucked with. "Now that we look at you, we can see why you hold the key to what we need."
MARISHA: Because we're underestimated?
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: "Yes, that is exactly what I'm referring to. That is what I just said."
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: "But indeed, we're happy to have you among us. And you are Bells Hells."
ASHLEY: Bells Hells.
LAURA: That's right.
ASHLEY: Happy to be here.
TALIESIN: That's what they say.
SAM: Smiley day to you.
TALIESIN: Because it's true.
ASHLEY: I'm Fearne.
MATT: "Fearne."
SAM: Fresh Cut Grass, Laudna, Chetney, Imogen, Orym, and Ashton.
TALIESIN: Smiley day.
MATT: Tofor looks over towards Allura. "You seem to dabble quite often with motley gathered crews, don't you?" She kind of goes, (Allura) "Well, they seem to be capable of getting a lot more done than some of your suggestions, isn't that correct?"
TRAVIS: Damn! Damn, fire!
MARISHA: Oh shit, oh shit! Oh shit!
MATT: Tofor nods. (Tofor) "Happy to have you among us.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MATT: "Well, into the war tent then."
SAM: Oh, yeah.
MARISHA: We get to go into a war tent!
ASHLEY: Oh, I love a war tent.
SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: This is a lot.
LIAM: We are the war tent.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: First we were in a war room, now we go in a war tent!
MATT: Following them across the entryway--
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: (laughs)
MATT: Something about the hat that makes that even better.
ASHLEY: I know!
TALIESIN: Yeah, it really--
ASHLEY: It's so cute.
LAURA: It's the hat that makes it extra stupid. (laughter)
LIAM: For some reason--
SAM: (like Laudna) A war lean-to? (laughter)
LIAM: You've almost got Jay of "Jay and Silent Bob" vibes for some reason.
LAURA: (laughing) Yes!
LIAM: (Jay) War tent? Yeah.
LAURA: (continues laughing)
MARISHA: It's just so fun. So many things you can do!
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: As you're all walking through-- (laughs)
LIAM: (laughs)
MATT: You're walking through a rough courtyard, I guess you could call, or the open central space of this battlement towards one of a number of large tents that you can see throughout the space. The soldiers giving you an escort, closing around you and you can hear their armored footfalls stepping alongside you, this unique din of feeling protected by multiple factions. There's a level of sweeping importance that seems to just wash over you as you do that is both interesting, but also a little terrifying. As you are walking, we'll say, Fearne. As you're all walking, everyone is walking towards the tent. You glance over and watch as the one who introduced himself as Earthbreaker Groon is just looking at you, and looking at Imogen, and back at you. Then just keeps walking. A stare that seems to-- You know that feeling your parents give you when you've done something wrong? It feels like that, but you don't know why.
ASHLEY: You're like: I swear I haven't been drinking?
MATT: Yeah.
ASHLEY: You haven't, but for some reason you're acting weird that you do seem like you're drunk.
LAURA: Kind of like doppelganger, doppelganger, doppelganger?
ASHLEY: Yes.
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: Kind of, yeah. Immediately you're like, well, I, I didn't do anything wrong.
ASHLEY: Psst.
LAURA: In your head you hear--
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LAURA: What?
ASHLEY: Thanks for knowing I wanted you to get in here.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Did you see that?
LAURA: See what?
ASHLEY: The guy, the one that's super ripped.
LAURA: The old guy?
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ASHLEY: How does that even work?
LAURA: Ooh, I don't know.
ASHLEY: But anyway. He gave us a really weird look, like he didn't like us.
LAURA: Why!
ASHLEY: Am I just--
LAURA: Everybody likes you, Fearne.
ASHLEY: No, I know, but he looked at both of us. I think it's--
LAURA: At me too?
ASHLEY: Yeah. Well, just watch, just watch.
LAURA: Okay, okay.
ASHLEY: I think he doesn't like us because-- Well, I have theories.
MATT: Eventually, you come to the exterior of this large, central-piked tent, and as the doors are opened and you are ushered in, the majority of the soldiers stay outside except for a few hand bodyguards that stick with some of the other prominent figures. You enter this chamber and you can see there's lanterns affixed all about as well as two glowing orbs that are hanging from chains in the center that give a midday light to this that knocks away the red glow that continuously swallows the landscape around you. It's a welcome sight to what you've been under since you've arrived here. As you watch as the figures you were introduced to enter with you, you also see on the opposite sides of the table, sleeves rolled up, a set of goggles on the head with various lenses and dirty, Lord Percival.
SAM: Oh.
LAURA: Oh!
MATT: Who has a number of sketches out across the table.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: Behind him, looking up with a smile, towards you in particular, the Voice of the Tempest.
SAM: Hey. (relieved sighs)
MATT: As you enter the chambers and the tent flaps close behind, Keyleth stands up tall and taps Percy on the shoulders. (Percy) "What? Oh. Hmm. Rather rapid, I suppose. Allura, you said you were taking them somewhere." (Allura) "Yes, we had a very, very brief excursion. Fey Realm." You watch as both Percival and Keyleth, look at each other and go, "Ah." (light laughter)
MATT: (Keyleth) "Well, I'm glad you've made it, and once again, we're all very thankful for what you've agreed to. We all here are paragons by some, in our particular cultures or homes. We are also prominent in our capabilities, our interests, and in doing so, are very carefully watched. So, what you bring to the table here, to some would be seen as insignificance, but we've seen what you can do."
MARISHA: (laughs) What a compliment.
SAM: Maybe anonymity is probably--
MARISHA: Oh.
MATT: "In the sense that you have not yet shown the world what you're capable of, but you've shown us. And because so few know, for now, that gives us all the strength in you seven." Allura comes to the table and sets her pack down. (Allura) "Now, what we have before us, in this short time is a bit ramshackle, but I think it will do for what is necessary to get you to the Bloody Bridge and beyond."
MARISHA: That should be your autobiography title.
LAURA: "To the Bloody Bridge and Beyond."
MARISHA: Yes.
TRAVIS: Triple B.
LAURA: I like that.
MATT: "Where are we sitting outside of our current situation," she says to the rest of the councils. Mythtaker Qi says, "From what we hear, there are a number of signs, words going about speaking of more, for lack of a better term, doomsday cults arising, embracing these times as a sign of the end. Which creates its own anxiety and unrest in the peoples of our world. That, unfortunately, feeds the malcontent with the various temples, the gods, it's at an all-time high." At which point, across the way, the Guardian Brotoras pipes in, (Tofor) "The Ruby Vanguard influence through information and conscription continues to swell because of it all. So, we are being assaulted at home by ideals as much as we're being assaulted here on the field of battle." Percival clears his throat and takes his goggles off and sets them down. (Percy) "Yes, and that is why we've got you to do this. The plot, the distraction that I've outlined here." He rolls out the sheets and you can see all manner of brief sketches show these various, some of them are just regular travel carts, some of them are military war wagons, some of them are damaged war vehicles and engines that have been altered and changed. Now you see the sketches, you can see a number of these you've witnessed in the outside and being built within the walls of the stronghold. These are, they call them the butcher wagons."
LAURA: Oh, that's a great name. That's a real good name.
ASHLEY: Butcher wagons.
MATT: "Illusions only go so far."
ASHLEY: I'm going to write that down.
MATT: He points over and looks over towards Allura and she goes, "Unfortunately, yes. We're fighting individuals that are looking for magic falsities. However, nothing quite changes someone's mind than the warm splash of blood across their face at the signs of something being slain." (Percy) "So, Miss Allura here, and Mr. Mandozi here will both be accompanying these wagons under the guise of an assault. Beasts of them, some construction. I don't quite know what they have planned, but that's not my prerogative. I have been tasked with overseeing the building of these butcher wagons. They will be cloaked within these illusions to assault from the northwestern side of the Malleus Key site itself. So, we will have them attacking from illusory sight, looking to draw most of their defenses in that direction. They will mount a counter assault against our approach, at which case the illusions will show themselves being destroyed, these beasts, creatures, whatever it is you've thought up. When they do, we also detonate these wagons, spraying the front of their lines with crimson gore. So, whatever immediate assumptions at this being a distraction or some sort of an illusory advance would be dispelled long enough to double their efforts to defend. That'll buy you a little bit more time. The good news is, the smartest amongst them are currently up there. So--"
MARISHA: Nice.
MATT: "That will give you, we hope, 10 to 30 minutes to infiltrate."
ASHLEY: Say it one more time.
MATT: "10 to 30 minutes to infiltrate before they either force us to withdraw and keep them under the assumption that they've succeeded, or they realize that this was a ruse and they begin to search for why. At which case, hopefully, if all goes right, you have already crossed the bridge and be on your way to vanish up there to find what you seek."
SAM: Is the plan for us to slip in through the south, southeast while they're going in the north, northwest or whatever? Or are we riding the bottom of these boom-boom wagons and jumping off in invisibility and slipping in before they detonate?
MATT: Percy goes to raise his hand, but you hear the voice of Groon instead fill the space. (Groon) "No. You are to enter from the southeast side, wait for the sounds of conflict, then slip in unnoticed. Now, their ability to dispel invisibility remains disabled, I believe." He looks towards Allura. (Allura) "Indeed, it seems that your last incursion saw to that and they haven't quite been able to get things back up and running to that degree."
LAURA: Great.
MATT: (Groon) "However, the Reilora seem to be able to sense nearby minds."
LIAM: They got a lot of them on the ground?
MATT: "They are the bulk of their forces at the moment."
LIAM: Oh, good.
MATT: Allura goes, "But, but, I've provided you with scrolls that should be able to keep you, for a period of time, unnoticed by them. So."
LAURA: A scroll that does what my circlet did for all of us.
SAM: Great!
MARISHA: Did we already pop that off or we going to wait?
SAM: No, we're going to do it now.
MARISHA: Okay.
TALIESIN: Get a little closer.
MARISHA: Okay.
LAURA: You're constantly keeping an eye out to make sure they're not scrying currently, right?
MATT: "Oh, this entire tent is barred from any sort of exterior magical intrusion of that kind, and I'm always keeping an eye outward. I've lived this long because of it." Groon clears his throat and closes his eyes. (Groon) "My men will be helping at the front line of this assault as well. The Stormlord is with us. We will find glory, enough to let you win. Do not let our sacrifices be in vain."
TRAVIS: Oh, a diversion.
SAM: Yeah, we got a diversion and we got a play, a way in. When do we strike?
MATT: "When you are ready." Percy goes, "Well, actually, give me about, I need at least another hour, hour and a half. Test a few things, make a few final adjustments. I just want to ensure that things go off-- Look, hour. Give me an hour."
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: We've got some-- How long will it take to cast those spells that we need?
SAM: Instantly, right? The scrolls?
LAURA: The scrolls? I think they're instantaneous--
SAM: They're good to go.
LAURA: Let me double check.
TALIESIN: All right.
MATT: (Groon) "Do your best not to be discovered. If so, leave no witnesses."
SAM: Oh!
MARISHA: Leave no witnesses.
MATT: Allura goes, "Well, a number of these people are victims, brainwashed or misled, to clarify." He goes, "Whatever that means to you. If that means silencing them, or taking them with you and ensuring they cannot give you away. There is too much at stake. This is war. It does me no pleasure. But this is about all of us. All of us." As he says that, his eyes go white and his voice bellows outward and you hear the crack and roll of thunder in the distance.
TRAVIS: Oh, awesome.
MARISHA: Okay.
LIAM: We understand the assignment.
MATT: Allura nods, "We hope to do our best to give members of the Vanguard that we feel can be given opportunities to amend their ways in the future to have that opportunity."
MARISHA: Redemption?
MATT: "Yes, if possible."
MARISHA: Is there a threshold in terms of, oh, certain people, you know, probably the leadership, probably beyond redemption, but maybe the peons?
MATT: You watch as Keyleth, her smile when you arrived fades into a more cold expression of realism. She doesn't even make any eye contact, she looks past everyone and goes, "That is for you to decide. Save who you can. But do what is right."
SAM: All right. When you launch the attack-- Why is she looking at you like that?
MARISHA: I don't know. It just feels like a lot of responsibility.
SAM: When you launch the attack, I assume these vehicles move kind of quickly, so we should already be all the way around on the other side, right?
MATT: (Percy) "Yes, yes, of course. We'll be simultaneously setting up both sides of this, both your point of intrusion on your own. "We would be able to-- How are we doing that?" He looks to the rest of the room.
SAM: Teleport us over there?
TALIESIN: I don't think that's a good idea.
LAURA: No, you don't want to teleport in right there.
MATT: Keyleth goes, "I can guide you to that point "and keep you unseen, but then you're on your own. "I do need a bit of time to prepare the skies."
LAURA: Sick.
TRAVIS: Hot. Hot!
MATT: She looks to Percival and says, "One hour?" He nods and says, "One hour." She goes, "I had better begin."
LAURA: How long will it take to get over to the Malleus Key from here?
MATT: (Keyleth) "At my speed, pretty quick."
LAURA: All right.
SAM: All right, let's go.
TALIESIN: We're going to need a little bit of supply before we do this, if possible.
LAURA: Why, because you used all of the supplies we just got?
TALIESIN: Yes, just now.
MARISHA: So what do you mean, more supplies?
TALIESIN: Do we have some cloaks? Something that looks desert-y?
MARISHA: We have cloaks. We have the Ruby Vanguard disguises.
MARISHA: We still have the Vanguard disguises.
TALIESIN: Well, yeah, the Ruby Vanguard disguises are good. Are they going to be able to hold up? Do we need goggles, anything like that, for up there?
LAURA: It's all the same, we have it all from the last time we were here.
LIAM: Orym still has a full goggle circle over his entire face.
TALIESIN: Oh lord.
LAURA: Has it shrunk at all?
LIAM: I'm waiting!
LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)
LAURA: In your head, you hear: That's why he was looking at us weird.
ASHLEY: Oh, it was his face.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: Nerd.
ASHLEY: I'm going to walk over to Earthbreaker Groon.
TALIESIN: I'm going to open up the hole and start organizing things.
SAM: Open up the hole?
TALIESIN: Yep. You heard me.
LIAM: Stop it.
MARISHA: Yeah! (laughs)
TALIESIN: I know exactly where you went.
LIAM: Stop it.
TALIESIN: I knew before you got there.
TRAVIS: (rumbling groan)
LAURA and LIAM: Stop it!
MATT: As you're walking over, Earthbreaker Groon is speaking to the table still and says, "There is always a chance you may be followed, even under the best of circumstances, so covering your tracks upon arrival to Ruidus will be imperative." You hear Allura say--
MARISHA: What did he say?
SAM: (whispers)
MARISHA: All I heard was, "It's imperative," and then missed the [inaudible] part.
MATT: The important part! (laughter)
TALIESIN: I've got a plan for that.
MATT: "When you are on Ruidus, learn what you can. Who are these Reilora? Ultimately, what do they want? See if there are any leaders or figures we can attempt to parley with or negotiate away from the Vanguard's plot under Ludinus. Where is Ludinus? What is his path to victory there? How much time do we have? What dangers or challenges await an all-out assault on the red moon? Any of these questions and more. All of these are extremely helpful for what we are plotting and preparing for on this side, so however you can, best that you can, to the point where you feel it is too dangerous and you must return to us, please do. You have that staff still?"
SAM: Yeah, we got it.
MATT: "When you do cross over, back to the bridge, it will drop you right back into the center of that excavation site. Ensure you have that staff at the ready, because that will be your ticket away."
SAM: Sure. Sure, yes, yes.
LAURA: It's attuned, right?
SAM: It's attuned.
LAURA: All right.
MATT: You walk over to Earthbreaker Groon.
ASHLEY: Yeah. Psst. Hey.
MATT: His head slightly turns your direction, his eyes still this clouded white.
ASHLEY: (stammering) You were looking at us. What were you looking at me like that for? Like you were all mad or disappointed or something.
MATT: "These eyes do not look anywhere. I sensed you."
ASHLEY: Okay, what did you sense?
MATT: "You are Ruidusborn, both of you." He looks over towards Imogen, and you watch as Tofor and Qi and the other figures at the table that you assume didn't have this information before suddenly glance over uncomfortably. "Are you saying we're sending Ruidusborn to Ruidus to handle this for us?" Towards Allura and Keyleth. Keyleth puts her hands up. "Look, these two are not bound by that same draw. They're here, aren't they? They're not part of the Vanguard and whatever they're trying to do."
ASHLEY: No. We didn't ask to be born under the Ruidus moon.
MATT: Tofor leans in and says, "We tried working with Ruidusborn, and where are they now?" Her dragonborn eyes glance up at the sky.
TRAVIS: What happened before?
MATT: "Well, at a certain point, they just kind of forgot what we were doing and joined their new friends."
SAM: Well, that's not going to happen with us. We very recently went under a really close, tight bonding situation, and we're all devoted to each other.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: We hold each other accountable.
SAM: Yep, and we're devoted to the cause, and I can vouch for all of these folks with my life.
LAURA: Wake up, Chet.
TRAVIS: (snoring)
MATT: (laughs)
SAM: It's not going to happen, is what I'm saying.
MATT: (Qi) "This is extremely irregular, and if I'm going to be perfectly honest, it fills me with a sense of malcontent with this plan, if we're going to send-- You trust these two, yes?"
LIAM: Their ties to the moon are what have allowed us to get as close to Ludinus's plots as we have.
MATT: Allura nods. "Indeed. There is already a bit of information that has saved many lives of those you brought here from these two. Yes, they have a strong connection there, but I think that is also what makes them so dangerous, both unseen and more capable. So--"
MARISHA: Very capable.
SAM: Absolutely.
MATT: "Do you trust me? Do you trust the Voice?"
SAM: You're asking us?
LAURA: I think she's asking them.
SAM: Oh, okay.
MATT: They all fall quiet for a second.
TALIESIN: I want to hear their totally regular plan that they have for this. They clearly have a very regular plan to deal with this that they're very excited about.
LAURA: (whispers) Do you want a bite?
TALIESIN: Sorry, yeah.
MATT: Groon looks over. He hasn't really broken his blind-eyed contact from one of the two of you as he darts back between you both. He speaks once more, his voice carrying with that resonant bass of a power beyond himself. "I trust they are capable. For they know that if they turn, the storm will find them. But you are of the storm, are you not?"
LAURA: I am the storm, baby.
MATT: "Hm."
SAM: You're a person of faith, right?
MATT: You hear a couple chuckles in the chamber. He goes, "One would say, maybe."
SAM: Well, that's all we have to rely on these days, is our faith, and I have the utmost faith in them. Maybe you could spare a little.
MATT: "It seems your friends may have more faith in you than perhaps you carry for yourself. Be prepared to rely on them when the time comes."
LIAM: Orym locks eyes with the Tempest. We have this. We've got our heads straight. We've been preparing. We're as ready as we're going to be. Choosing us isn't a mistake.
MATT: "There isn't a thought in my head that says this is a mistake. You're the tip of the spear. We are everything to follow. We just need you to guide us."
TRAVIS: No problem.
MATT: "Good." There's this warmth to her voice, but you can't escape the fact that there's this fraction of distraction in the back of Keyleth's presence. "It's oddly familiar to look upon your faces and what's in front of you. I believe in you all." She looks to Percy, who smiles, and wipes a little bit of dirt from his cheek. (Percy) "Why does it always take a bunch of assholes to get anything done?"
TALIESIN: He likes us.
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: (Allura) "Very well, let's get our preparations together."
SAM: Mm-hmm.
MATT: "Whatever else you need, within the hour?" (Percy) "Yes, an hour. Thank you. Please leave, I need to finish." Everyone looks around. Mythtaker Qi nods. "Well, it is a pleasure to meet you all, and I look forward to making your acquaintances further should you come back surviving."
SAM: We will. It'll be Qi, Kiki, we, going to the Malleus Key to see what we can see.
MATT: "I like this one." (laughter) "I like this one. He's come in with a bunch of jokes, like me. I love this one. All right, we'll talk more later. What is, your name is--"
SAM: Fresh Cut Grass.
MATT: "Fresh Cut Grass! Even the name is a joke. I love this guy. Okay, great, great. Okay, I'll go decide what crazy beast to cook up. Allura, come find me when we're getting ready for time, and we will make such a show! (laughs)" He steps out of the tent.
ASHLEY: Great!
LAURA: Right?
TALIESIN: Why are they giving us shit? All these people are fucking crazy.
LAURA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: It's like they've never met a fucking crazy person before.
MARISHA: It seems like they have to deal with so much red tape. Percy's like, why does it take a bunch of assholes to get anything done? I'm pretty sure it's because we have no oversight. I think that's it. This looks so boring.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah. Motley crew like they are.
MARISHA: Ugh!
ASHLEY: I mean--
MARISHA: What was he doing, that big buff one?
ASHLEY: Yes, like it's our fault!
TALIESIN: Oh my god.
MARISHA: I don't like that.
ASHLEY: I don't either.
LAURA: That was a threat. He threatened us.
TALIESIN: Whatever the fuck you brought to that, holy shit. Oh my god, I was like--
SAM: If they're going to trust us we have to give them a break, too. They're trying their best. They're just nervous.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: I guess that's fair. Just couldn't help but notice a bit of--
SAM: Judgment?
MARISHA: Yes. It seemed a bit hypocritical to think that we could save members of the Ruidus Vanguard, but then they didn't want to trust the Ruidusborn right in front of us.
SAM: Well, when they get to know you, they'll trust you more.
LAURA: To be fair, y'all, that pull is strong. It's real strong.
MARISHA: To the moon?
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Do you need a word, a safe word or something, when it gets too much?
MARISHA: That's a good idea.
ASHLEY and SAM: If it feels too much?
LAURA: What can it be?
SAM: I don't know.
MARISHA: Help me, it's too much?
LAURA: That'll work.
LIAM: Something pithier.
ASHLEY: I don't feel a pull at all, so I'll be fine.
SAM: Oh yeah.
TRAVIS: Is the pull more, since your dream?
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: What if you get up there, though, and-- I don't want to stand between something that you might really want. What if you do want to go with them? What if that is your calling?
LAURA: Well. I'm not going to lie. Part of me feels like it is. But-- I'm not blind, y'all. I know-- I know what's right. Even if-- Even if my heart would say otherwise, at some point. Just, you know, keep me present.
LIAM: You've got her.
LAURA: Of course.
LIAM: And you've got us. That's enough.
LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: Orym reaches up and gives her arm a little squeeze.
ASHLEY: We're just the tip, guys. Just the tip of the spear.
LAURA: Just the tip.
TALIESIN: That's the safe word. Just the tip.
ASHLEY: Just the tip.
TALIESIN: There we are.
ASHLEY: There it is.
LAURA: In and out and we're done.
MARISHA and SAM: Just the tip.
TALIESIN: Let's not. Oh no.
ASHLEY: Just the tip.
MARISHA: In and out, though. Yeah.
LAURA: Yeah, in and out.
MARISHA: It is a good plan.
LIAM: Just taking the butcher wagon to the Bloody Bridge. (laughter)
SAM: Just the tip.
MARISHA: Where's Keyleth?
TRAVIS: You're welcome.
MATT: Most everyone has left the tent at this point. You look across the way, and you see Keyleth is talking to a couple of Ashari defenders, members of the Blades of the Tempest.
MARISHA: I awkwardly start hovering nearby.
MATT: They eventually step away and you watch her sigh deeply, her lengthy coat of--
MARISHA: I circle around until I'm in her periphery. (laughter)
MATT: "Oh. Oh, hello."
MARISHA: Hello.
MATT: "I'm sorry. There's a lot going on."
MARISHA: Oh, yes, yes. No, no, it's crazy.
MATT: "Laudna."
MARISHA: Yes, oh my god! You remembered my name.
MATT: "Of course. What--"
MARISHA: You're very pretty. I noticed you seemed kind of distracted.
MATT: "There's a lot going on in the world right now."
MARISHA: No, I know. It's crazy. Are you distracted because you like looking at us? Like, nostalgia, and thinking of fonder times? Or is it because that feathered man who turned into a marble?
MATT: She glances by and you can see now the direction that she kept glancing off is the direction she looks, and it's directly towards the red beam of the Malleus Key, You see as she looks off and takes a deep breath. Without looking at you, she says, "We have to set him free."
MARISHA: Is that why you volunteered to come with us? To escort us to the base of the bridge?
MATT: "No."
MARISHA: Insight check.
SAM: Oh!
MATT: Sure.
SAM: Guidance.
MARISHA: Ooh. Bad.
LAURA: (laughs)
MARISHA: Bad. Five.
MATT: She makes eye contact with you and says, "Because it's my responsibility as a protector of my people and the people of this world, I do this."
MARISHA: Mm.
MATT: "And in doing so, hope to maybe help him, too."
MARISHA: Mm. He's being used to power the bridge, yeah?
MATT: "Yeah, we assume."
MARISHA: They all keep saying we need the bridge to return. Is that true, or is there another way?
MATT: "As far as I know, all of the great arcanists have been thinking just on this problem for a number of weeks now, and the bridge is the only connection we have to Ruidus. No teleportation, no divination, no magic seems to cross that threshold. The bridge is the only thing that gets there. That's why Ludinus made it. That's why you need to take it. That's why it needs to stay until we're all done."
MARISHA: Hmm.
MATT: "But when we're done, we set him free."
MARISHA: So you're escorting us but you also get to check in on him a little bit.
MATT: "From a distance."
MARISHA: Mm. Well, I just wanted to ask. I hope I wasn't prying. Maybe when we're up there and we're scouting, we discover the source of why things are so limited in traveling there. I can add that to that incredibly long list that I tried to jot down of all the things we need to find out. But I'll add that.
MATT: "I appreciate that."
ASHLEY: (whispering) She's so cute.
MARISHA: Okay. Well, I know there's so much going on, so I'll let you to it. What?
MATT: "I'm sorry."
MARISHA: For what?
MATT: "For everything." You see a wave of remorse cross her face as she nods and walks away.
MARISHA: Well, that was unsettling. How's it going over here?
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
SAM: Pretty good. At 49 minutes in, I'm going to ritually cast something. When I find what it is, I will tell you.
LIAM: Also, wasn't I using this to identify something?
SAM: No, it's just because you have an empty slot.
LAURA: You've got to attune to it. Because I'm sick of seeing your eyes.
LIAM: Now you can't see my face on this side of my head.
TRAVIS: (high-pitched gibberish)
SAM: I am going to ritually cast Telepathic Bond.
MARISHA: Ooh!
LAURA: Ooh nice, with the ritual cast.
SAM: So we can all talk to each other.
TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.
MATT: Quietly? Hell yeah.
MARISHA: (laughs)
SAM: The group.
LAURA: Smart.
TALIESIN: I have organized the portable hole as best I fucking can.
ASHLEY: Great.
TALIESIN: Everything is findable.
SAM: You just spread open that hole.
LIAM: Stop it.
LAURA: (laughs)
LIAM: With the telepathic bond, Letters?
TALIESIN: It's a panic room.
SAM: Yeah?
LIAM: Is it like one big conference call with all of us?
LAURA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: It's a big, gaping--
SAM: Party line.
TALIESIN: It is a party line?
SAM: Party line.
TALIESIN: There's no--
SAM: Unless you have an intelligence of less than two.
TALIESIN: Then what happens if you have an intelligence--
SAM: It doesn't work.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LIAM: So there's no aiming a thought at an individual?
LAURA: ♪ Do do do ♪ You hear it in your head. ♪ Do do do do do ♪
TALIESIN: ♪ Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah ♪
ASHLEY: A private conversation?
SAM: You know what's interesting, though?
LIAM: Hmm?
SAM: We'll have a telepathic bond with each other, but then the scroll is going to negate-- What does it negate?
LAURA: Nothing. It just makes it to where people can't scry on us.
SAM: Okay, we can still talk to each other telepathically.
LAURA: Yeah, we can talk to each other telepathically. It's just we control--
ASHLEY: Can't scry.
LAURA: If it works like my circlet did, we would control who was able to talk to us.
SAM: Great. Okay, cool.
MATT: Correct. Yeah, the intent of it is to prevent scrying and--
LAURA: Intrusive.
MATT: -- intrusive attempts into the mind for eight hours.
SAM: All right.
MATT: All right. As the butcher wagons are set up, there is an odd scent over the exterior of this encampment from a lot of older meats and buckets of various--
SAM: Older meats.
MATT: Creature blood--
LAURA: Gross.
MATT: -- that has been gathered.
SAM: How you doing, Chetney? Good smell?
TRAVIS: This, I'm actually used to.
SAM: Oh, okay.
MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Meat?
TRAVIS: Blood.
ASHLEY: Oh.
MATT: After a short time, the Voice of the Tempest approaches. Says, "I'll be gathering a few things, and then we'll be leaving here in just a moment."
LAURA: Great.
MATT: She walks off. There's a moment where you feel a hand on your shoulder. The minute it does, your vision goes white and you see this flash from a face in the clouds before you feel the grip of Earthbreaker Groon on your shoulder.
TRAVIS: On Imogen?
MATT: On Imogen.
MARISHA: He's threatening you?
TRAVIS: We don't know. We don't know.
SAM: He's just touching her.
LIAM: He gives a vibe check.
TRAVIS: Damn, protective.
MARISHA: Yes!
LAURA: In his head: Can I help you?
MATT: You hear back in your head, not even his voice, but a voice, sourceless.
TRAVIS: Oh!
MATT: Growling and echoey. "You have my eye. There is greatness in you. Do not let us down."
LAURA: I won't.
MATT: He releases his hand, and that image of a face pulls away, and you hear the (thunder rumbles) roiling. You look up in the sky, and there's no clouds, no thunderclouds, just the gentle drifting gray soft bits that have been there since you arrived. Groon looks at you, through you, and gives a nod. Throws the shawl back over his shoulder and steps off towards his awaiting monks.
TRAVIS: Damn.
LAURA: Hmm.
MATT: Keyleth returns, and you see she's changed out of her ceremonial garb into more of her gentle leathers. Still, you know, definitely have within them intricate scrolling. They've been designed as a gift or probably with some ceremonial decoration to them, but much more functional for travel. The cloak itself, the long, dragging cloak, you watch as it pulls itself up into a smaller almost tapered half-cloak to her back.
SAM: Convenient.
MATT: She clutches her staff at her side.
LIAM: They do shrink.
MATT: "Is everyone ready?"
SAM: Yeah. Let's do this.
LIAM: As we'll ever be.
LAURA: Oh, Mage Armor.
MATT: She looks off. You watch as she nods and Percival gives a nod back. (Percy) "All right. Let's take them out!" He lights some sort of object in his hand and a spark, (flare shoots off) like a flare spark, flares a little bit in the air. As it does, all the wagons (rumbling) begin to go into motion, and you hear them pulling out quickly. There's no beasts of burden pulling them. They're moving under their own power. As they continue to rock outward, going across the landscape, you watch as Allura and Qi flank the sides from a distance. They both look back. Allura, hands together, gives you all a nod from across the central open way of this stronghold and goes walking with them. Qi looks back at you all-- (laughter)
MATT: -- and goes and joins. Keyleth looks at the rest of you. "Get close."
LAURA: I pull out the scroll, and I'll use that before we head out.
MATT: All right. You go ahead.
LAURA: (reading scroll in gibberish) It's magical words.
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: I've never used this sort of thing before.
TRAVIS: Are there actual words?
LAURA: (speaks gibberish)
TRAVIS: Are there actual words?
LAURA: Ka-poo!
LIAM: I'm using an action. (laughter)
MATT: Yeah.
TALIESIN: (speaks gibberish)
MATT: No. That was accurate. (laughter)
MATT: It was scribed in Sweden.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MATT: You finish the incantation. All of you suddenly watch as this dome around your crew of slightly mercurial reflective energy swirls around, and then it encloses in, like a specter of a bubble that suddenly closes. As it washes through you, you feel this faint chill across your mind. As it fades, you get the sense that there is a protective enchantment that sits within you for quite some time. The scroll burns away in your grasp as it completes. Keyleth gives a nod. "Okay, so this might be a little strange, but go with me here." She closes her eyes and focuses, holding her staff in front. As it does, the wind picks up around you, and all of you feel this accompanying tingling sensation, and you watch as your legs begin to slightly drift apart into a mist, and within a moment, all of you become these cloud entities--
LAURA: Remember when Keyleth did this to us stupidly? Remember when we were just toots for no reason?
MARISHA: Now she's using it for the right reason.
LAURA: That's so cute.
MATT: Now, all of you, including her, become these clusters of faint mist that now can travel at an incredible speed, 300 feet is your flying speed with this.
LAURA: Damn.
MATT: All of you, following her lead, (soaring whoosh) take off into the sky.
TRAVIS: Sick.
MATT: Blending in with the slight plumes of dust and cloud that come through the ever-fluctuating winds that blow through, you all begin to fly off into the sky, an incredible sensation. For many of you, the first time, not being on a skyship, but being free on your own, like a bird at a speed that a bird can only dream of achieving. As you coast through, you get an aerial view now of the surrounding landscape. You can see the Tishtan Excavation Site. You can view the glowing pulsing of the red light that emanates from the base of the powerful Malleus Key and the Bloody Bridge firing up, and where it hits the clouds, what ones have gathered there faintly are separated around and vanishing into the sky above to the moon. You see the dots of the butcher wagons moving out, and suddenly, (elemental shifting) they're no longer butcher wagons. You see this dust cloud begin to brim out in front of them, and this distant rumble of hundreds of footfalls. You see a charging wave of armored beasts, gargantuan and lumbering creatures that would stand 20, 25 feet tall, four arms each, stepping forward like armored, massive gorillas. (gargantuan footfalls) You see rhinoceros-like, armored riding beasts coasting between them. It's an entire frontal assault that is now moving in place of these wagons. You see coming up out of the dust cloud these fire-encircled ember rocs, their flaming wings stretching end to end for dozens and dozens of feet, screeching out across the horizon. The married illusions of these two arcanists now enshrouding the advance with a much more terrifying and dominating presence. You all drift quickly over to the southeastern side. About a quarter mile or so from the actual exterior of the excavation site's pit. As you all drift down to where the landfall is, your bodies (whooshing) reform on the back of this rocky outcropping that's about 15 feet tall and about 30 feet wide where a couple of partially dried trees skeleton upward like withered hands reaching for the sky. You all come to rest there. The wind is blowing a bit.
ASHLEY: (hand squelch) Sorry. Didn't mean to do that with my hands.
MATT: No, it's okay.
MARISHA: Winds are blowing.
ASHLEY: Those winds are blowing.
MATT: Keyleth stands there, the wind picking up the back of her cape a little bit. Antlers drawn, you see her looking off back towards where the Bloody Bridge is. "(sighs)" She holds her staff up and concentrates. She says, "You have a few minutes to gather your thoughts and then be on your way." In the moments that pass, you watch as the elements of soft clouds grow thick and dark. You watch as flashes of lightning (thunder crashing) begin to flash outward. The entire skyline over the Hellcatch within 10 minutes suddenly begins to take on that of one of the worst thunderstorms you've ever seen, like a hurricane has suddenly now splashed into the center of Marquet. No raindrops fall, but a heavy wind that begins to pick up a roaring dust that surrounds nearly everything around this excavation site. You reach into the bundles that you were given as you left, and you see Vanguard attire given to all of you, and as she's concentrating on this, her eyes now aglow with a soft golden energy you see as she raises her hand and with each slight shift of her wrist, you watch as a cloud suddenly grows thicker and more dangerous, and occasionally she'll pluck it as a bolt (thunder roaring) hits a cliff side that breaks and tumbles. You can see right now from this distance, you, Orym, with your perception, can already see the number of perimeter guards just outside of the excavation site beginning to double. The attention is beginning to be drawn.
LIAM: On the opposite side, right?
MATT: Well, right now, everywhere.
LIAM: Everywhere because of the storm. Right.
MATT: They just see the dust clouds picking up and this sudden storm rolling in. Keyleth, at this point, is now "(sighs)" growing a bit nervous and you can see the beads of sweat coming down her forehead. "All right. (sighs) Let me know when you're ready."
MARISHA: We all put on our Ruby Vanguard robes at the top.
ASHLEY: Pass Without a Trace.
LAURA: Sweet.
SAM: Imogen, I will hit you with a Death Ward.
LAURA: Oh, thank you.
TALIESIN: Good call.
MARISHA: Any Invisibility we want to drop on ourselves?
SAM: Probably.
LAURA: Let's see.
TALIESIN: How long does it last? We want to wait until we get a little closer to the edge.
LAURA: It last an hour.
TALIESIN: Then let's get a little closer to the edge I think before we--
LAURA: Where is my Invisibility? Where's my Invisibility?
TALIESIN: We got a minute.
SAM: Can we all be invisible? Wait, two of us can do it, right?
LAURA: I think I can up the level. 3rd-level or higher, you can target an additional creature for each slot above 2nd, but yeah.
SAM: That's not all of us.
LAURA: No, that wouldn't get all of us.
SAM: But we have Pass Without a Trace.
LAURA: Yeah, mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: That does a lot.
MARISHA: And sick robes.
MATT: She goes, "The cloud form lasts for eight hours. It takes a minute to transform and transform back, which means it can't be used for the infiltration. You are a sitting duck while you make this transition and I do not know if the Bloody Bridge would scatter you in the process, but when you reach the other side, it may be of use to you to get out of there quickly. So keep that in mind."
LAURA: Thank you.
MATT: Of course.
SAM: Let's forge ahead.
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: We're how far from base camp, from ground zero?
MATT: From this point to ground zero, you can pick up it's about a quarter mile or so.
SAM: We should start walking, right?
TALIESIN: Let's do this.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: So she was saying drop cloud form before we go up, right?
LAURA: Yeah, we're not cloud formed.
MARISHA: We're not in cloud form.
MATT: Not at the moment, no.
SAM: We should not be clouds.
MARISHA: We should not be clouds.
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
LIAM: When in doubt--
MATT: But--
MARISHA: Don't be a cloud.
MATT: -- as you step forward, entering these heavy winds that suddenly engulf you, marking the direction you have to travel, you continue to move ahead. Who's leading the charge in this to keep you on task?
LIAM: I will.
MATT: Okay. So for you, it would probably be, actually for this, it would be a survival roll.
LIAM: Survival? Hmm.
MATT: Since this is about keeping track of--
LAURA: (whispering) Guide him.
MATT: -- the terrain and maintaining direction.
LIAM: Okay.
LAURA: Guide him.
LIAM: Aren't you very survival-y? Am I remembering that right?
ASHLEY: I have really good survival, actually.
LIAM: Okay, then I'm going to--
ASHLEY: Weirdly.
LIAM: -- scooch you forward. I'm actually going to nudge you in the rump.
ASHLEY: All right. What, what, what?
LIAM: I can't see through all of this.
ASHLEY: Okay, I got it, I got it. I'm just rolling a--
LAURA: Guide yourself.
ASHLEY: Guidance.
LAURA: (laughs) All right.
SAM: (as Fearne) All right.
LAURA: Okay.
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: And?
ASHLEY: 29.
SAM: Whoa!
TALIESIN: Woo.
MATT: Before the windstorm swept around the excavation site, you helped, between the two of you, to get a good look of all the different landmarks and slight changes in topography for the direct line to it. Once you immersed yourself in this mist, this clustered dust cloud storm that surrounds you, you've never felt more confident in anything in your life.
ASHLEY: I know where to go, just follow me. (laughter)
MATT: Covering your mouths, trudging forward through the storm, you push on, and before long, you hear the crack of thunder get more and more prominent and rapid. (thunder booms) With each successive blast, you begin to hear horns sounding from inside the excavation site. As bits of the storm begin to break and you get close to the exterior, carefully heading forward, I'd like you all to make a group stealth check.
SAM: Okay, okay.
MATT: You do have advantage because you are in the middle of this dust storm.
MARISHA: And Pass Without a Trace.
MATT and ASHLEY: And Pass Without a Trace.
SAM: We got it. This is going to be a piece of cake. Right, guys?
TALIESIN: Don't say these things.
MARISHA: Let's get rid of that one. Let's do--
MATT: They do have very high perception guards watching.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MARISHA: We're also dressed like guards.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: Okay.
TRAVIS: (gruffly) 30-- (clears throat)
LAURA: Oh no, the timing.
MATT: Oh buddy.
TRAVIS: 31.
LIAM: He's finally dying.
LAURA: It's happening.
MARISHA: 35.
SAM: 27.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: 21.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: 25.
LIAM: 25.
ASHLEY: Oh wait, I'm sorry.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: No, you didn't add your 10, did you?
ASHLEY: I didn't add my 10, so 29. Nope, what did I just say?
SAM: You said 21.
ASHLEY: I said 21.
LAURA: 31.
ASHLEY: 31, thank you, sorry.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Jeez louise.
TALIESIN: 37.
LAURA: Whoa!
MATT: 37.
TALIESIN: Rolled a nat 20.
LAURA: Whoa!
LIAM: Ooh!
TALIESIN: Look at my shit.
MATT: That's pretty good. So, as you break out of the bulk of the surrounding dust storm, you hear the horn sound again and you watch as skirmishers begin to ride out of the sides of the excavation site. You see dozens of them pouring out. You watch as (heavy machine footsteps) many of the more assault-based skirmishers, the massive tripod skirmishers beginning to, the ruin skirmishers are also emerging from the outside. You watch as dozens and dozens of Reiloran warriors, juggernauts, the ones that you fought a handful of at the side of fake Ludinus charging in behind them as handfuls of other Reilorans hover in the air and drift in pursuit. Right as the opposite end of the dust storm breaks, you watch the entire assault begin to collide with the exterior. You watch as the ember rocs swoop in and unleash gouts of flame downward, and you watch as explosions of fire hit some of the nearby watchtowers on the outside. This is an illusion, but you quickly grasp that spells are being flung from within the illusion as well to continue its buy-in to damage the nearby sentries.
LAURA: That's so fucking smart.
MATT: You watch as the warbeasts begin to charge forward. Right as some of the Reiloran war machine begins to assault from a distance, you watch as cannon fire and exploding payloads are thrown over it, heavy arcs that detonate in the center. You watch as the illusion seems to react in time as some of these warbeasts skid over and plummet and explode on the side. As it does, you see a spray of crimson gorge (intense spray) out from the interior (detonation) from inside the illusion. For the time being, it looks like it has begun, and in that moment, you all swallow hard, gather your nerves, and head in towards the nearest side of the Tishtan site. That's where we'll end tonight's episode. (clamoring)
ASHLEY: No!
SAM: You can't end the year like that!
LIAM: Good call. (uproarious protests)
MATT: Yes, I can.
MARISHA: Oh boy.
MATT: Yes, I can.
LIAM: Good call, because it's going to be all elaborate and shit.
LAURA: (growling)
MARISHA: I know, I know, I know.
TRAVIS: He can do whatever he wants.
MATT: It's going to be elaborate. It'd be fun to not break it up at this point of the tension--
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
MATT: -- and to give Travis' voice some rest.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: We're going to have to text some plays.
TALIESIN: ♪ Text group without Matt ♪
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Oh my gosh.
MARISHA: Yeah, def.
MATT: Actually, it wouldn't hurt for me to show you a little visual perspective--
MARISHA and LAURA: (gasp) (cheering)
ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes!
MATT: -- of the thing you are going to likely arrive at.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: Ooh!
SAM: This combat cam will be brought to you by WizKids Minis, first encountered on the table by Bells Hells. Now you can build your own brumestone-embedded hovering horror.
TRAVIS: Damn!
ASHLEY: Oh!
SAM: The Shade Mother is sure to turn few stomachs.
ASHLEY: What!
MARISHA: Getting it in!
SAM: wizkids.io/shademother.
ASHLEY: Look at those little tents!
TRAVIS: I think that was from our first foray into it.
TALIESIN: Ooh!
LAURA: Okay.
ASHLEY: Oh, look at these--
MATT: From your distance--
SAM and MARISHA: ♪ From a distance ♪
MATT: -- the only immediate shape that you see is this.
TRAVIS: Damn!
SAM: A friend!
LAURA: Yep.
MARISHA: So this is to get to the gate?
MATT: Yeah, this is the--
LAURA: Entrance?
MATT: -- actual lip of the pit of the excavation site.
ASHLEY: So Bloody Bridge is that way.
MATT: Bloody Bridge is where I'm standing right here.
LIAM: It's where Matt is. That's the edge of the Grand Canyon, sort of, smaller but--
MARISHA: Okay.
MATT: Yeah, further back than me, but yeah.
TALIESIN: Instead of those little binocular quarter things.
ASHLEY: What is that little thing?
MATT: You don't know.
SAM: That's a robot.
LAURA: I think I know what that is.
ASHLEY: The little snitch.
LAURA: I think.
MARISHA: A little buzz ball.
MATT: As you get closer, you might make out more details of the environment. But we'll get to there next session.
SAM and LIAM: (groan)
LAURA: Amazing.
MATT: That--
TALIESIN: It looks like the villain from "Return to Oz."
MATT: -- being said--
ASHLEY: It really, really does.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I was just having a--
MATT: Welcome back to the site of the Malleus Key--
MARISHA: We got rollers! (cheering)
MATT: -- and the road to Ruidus.
MARISHA: Wowsers!
LIAM: And now we're back.
ASHLEY: Bloody Bridge.
MATT: Yeah! All righty, well, excited for the next session.
MARISHA: Good year, good year.
ASHLEY: Woo!
LIAM: Wow.
MATT: Wonderful, happy holidays to all of you. Thank you for joining us. We'll see you in 2024 for what is to come.
ASHLEY: Oh boy!
MATT: But thank you all so much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? (cheering)
MATT: Good night.