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Pre-Show[]

MATT: Hello and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons. My name is Matthew Mercer, the Dungeon Master and the person unable to find a barber who understands "leave it long."

(laughter)

MATT: But that's okay; it'll grow.

TRAVIS: Time jump, backwards.

LIAM: You look handsome in any hair.

MATT: It's okay. But anyway, welcome. Before we dive into tonight's episode, in which we have our fantastic Scanlan Shorthalt. "Scanlan Sharthard" would be much more fun name. Here via satellite. Hi, Sam.

SAM: What's up, guys?

MATT: Glad you could join us.

LIAM: Wow, look at all that white and pink.

LAURA: He looks like he is in Miami.

MARISHA: The white and pink contrasting with the fur is very confusing to my brain.

LIAM and LAURA: (hum “Axel F”)

MATT: (singing) No one watching is old enough to know what that thing is. Yeah, few people do. And thank you. I know. All right, so first and foremost, let's get through our announcements real fast. Let's see. We have very few tickets left for live show at GenCon, which we're excited for next week, guys; it's going to be a lot of fun. We're excited to meet everybody at GenCon. We have our campaign guide debuting there physically at the booth. We have a panel, we have a bunch of fun stuff coming up, so excited to see you guys out there.

MARISHA: It's going to be so much fun.

MATT: Let's see. Merch-wise. Laura.

LAURA: Hi!

MARISHA: Oh man.

LAURA: We have something to show you guys. You just wait. Hey guys, why don't you roll that footage?

MATT: "Hello, Tal'Doreians, and we have an exciting new product that we want to share with you today on Gilmore's Glorious QVC. What you see here is a beautiful Major Arcana Tarot Deck featuring some of the most prominent figures of who's-who in picturesque Tal'Dorei.

"Painted by the brilliant Lady Ioana Muresan, printed on the finest cardstock parchment with glittering gold foil, imported from the mines of Kraghammer. This is truly a showstopper of any high society soiree. You're not just telling the fortunes, you're bedazzling their future.

"Now, today we're offering this beautiful purple and gold deluxe edition as well as-- that's it, actually. I wouldn't offer any other than the finest edition at my store. The going market retail price is four platinum or 40 gold pieces or 400 silver pieces or 4,000 copper pieces, but today we are giving you the special Gilmore's Glorious QVC value of-- Sherri, no, we're still filming those. Please, you're getting them all smudgy!"

(beep)

MATT: "The special Gilmore's Glorious QVC value of 24 gold pieces and 99 copper. That's right! Just two and a half platinum pieces! But that offer only lasts until the disclosed amount of seconds runs on the timer in the corner. Scry now or come down and visit me, Gilmore, at Gilmore's Glorious Goods in the Abdar's Promenade district of Emon."

LAURA: Oh, these tarot cards? Hold on, let me open it up, since you didn't see enough of it in that amazing commercial.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, they're so shiny.

LAURA: Liam tell us about the artist.

LIAM: Oh, the artist, Ioana Muresan, who is a long time Critter and has done a lot of art for our show, and we love her, and she did such a amazing job. Thank you. Look at this!

LAURA: Go check them out. They're in the store right now. They're amazing. All of the other stuff that we had is still in the store, as well, including this fabulous necklace. And the posters shipped, so get ready to get them. Or maybe they ship tomorrow, something like that. I don't remember. But they're going out. And then the aprons are shipping at the end of next week, so you'll be getting those soon, too.

MATT: That new card smell. The gold gilding at the sides is so cool.

LIAM: It's got gilding on the sides. Everything shines.

MATT: Gilmore's Glorious Gold Gilding. As a person who enjoys collecting cool major arcana, this is amazing.

TRAVIS: Yeah, baby.

LIAM: I'm not going to play. I'll just look at these.

MATT: Thank you, Ioana Muresan. Your work is amazing.

LAURA: You're amazing.

MATT: All righty. Critical Role podcast up to episode 30 is available. We're working tight on the next bunch of ten. Will have announcements very soon on that. Let's see. People who are Alpha users, we have all the back episodes of Critical Role, all the way from one to 107 available on Alpha. They retroactively added all the bells and whistles, HP trackers, all that fun stuff, conditions, all the little fun things for the entire show. They just finished it. So you have that waiting for you if you ever wanted to binge again.

LIAM: They added Horshack back into the cast. That's a reference that nobody in the audience got.

LAURA: I don't even understand that reference, bro.

LIAM: Yeah, I know how much older than you I am.

MATT: That's okay. Let's see. Do we have a Talks Machina next week?

TALIESIN: We do.

MATT: Yes. So we have Talks Machina at 7:00pm next Tuesday, Pacific. We have Brian Foster, who will be returning for the glory. And then I think that's it. I think that's all of our announcements for the evening. That being the case, let's go ahead and pull ourselves in this evening to tonight's episode of Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I[]

MATT: Hello and welcome back. Goddamn it. (sighs) Welcome back. I'll remember that. Your dungeon master will remember this.

So. Last we left off, Vox Machina, in trying to find a way to seal off the growing threat of Vecna, now restored to physical form and seeking ascension and achieving it, you've gone to a number of the deities across the Exandria pantheon of the Prime Gods. Gaining some blessings and gaining bits of essence from these deities to create something called a prime trammel, an item that was used previously during the Calamity to seal one of the betrayer gods and could possibly put an end to Vecna's newly-ascended form and reign as the only god on the Prime Material plane across the Divine Gate.

Information given to you by the Knowing Mistress sent you beneath an underwater volcano known as Scaldseat, where you proceeded to learn how to breathe water and then step into toxic fume-filled tunnels, where you proceeded to breath through the water via Grog's jug. Very clever. (giglg) But finding your way through a short battle with some of the indigenous life forms there, a mother and two children magma bulettes. You headed down deeper into the volcanic caverns of Scaldseat, eventually finding a long-sealed series of chambers by the Allhammer, the deity for craft, family, and legacy, where somewhere supposedly beneath this volcano and hopefully within these long-sealed chambers lies the core anvil, where these prime trammels can be constructed.

As you made your way through here, hearing the undulating reverberating pounding of some distant piece of machinery, it seemed, heading down the stairs you were put into a hexagonal chamber which had a square of coals and above that, X bars against the wall where in the center you saw a gold inlaid seal, almost. What's the word I'm looking for? An empty triangular shape, a pyramid inverted within this golden seal. And a series of these iron warriors that were embedded in the walls. Behind the stairway, you saw, and you identified upon seeing it, means of smelting metal and other forms of material. When Percival was inspecting one of these warriors, it immediately came to life, and you watched as the glowing outline of each one of these ten foot tall, 12-foot tall metallic warriors glowed bright orange. They each emerged from the walls with these large two-handed greatswords at their side and immediately began to incite conflict.

And that's where we left off, so to begin this fray: Where are you guys placed, currently? Percival, you would probably be right about where that guy emerged.


TALIESIN: I would probably be about there.

LAURA: You were on the wall.

TALIESIN: I had my boots on, so I was by his face.

MATT: Okay, so we'll put you there. Oh god. Here you go. Grog was by the smelter.

LAURA: I feel like I had been looking at the thing. The big empty pyramid triangle thing.

MATT: So you'd be over in this area.

MARISHA: I feel like I was with Vex, maybe on the other side. Yeah.

LAURA: I was on my broom, because I had been hovering looking at it.

MATT: Fair enough. So you'd probably be about--

LAURA: About there, then.

LIAM: I know that I just poofed the wings out and I think I was inspecting one of the big metal men before it came out of the wall. I don't really remember which.

MATT: Most likely one of the ones that was not attended by another member of the party. So we'll say about here. And Scanlan, whereabouts were you?

SAM: You know, near things. Can't really see too well, so put me where-- Let's see. I was at the door when we opened it and then I was beautiful. And now I'm not as beautiful. So put me near the door.

MATT: Near the door? So we'll put you over in this one here.

TALIESIN: So all of their faces are indented?

MATT: Yeah, each one of them, as opposed to the other warriors you saw in the chambers that led down into this area, have no faces. Instead where you see are an empty void triangular like the large seal, but vacuous.

TRAVIS: But matches the same shape?

LIAM: They didn't Man-E-Faces around? I'm misremembering that? Maybe I just really like many Man-E-Faces.

MATT: Which is a good thing. But regardless, I would like you all to roll initiative.

LAURA: Not so soon! (grumbling)

TRAVIS: Is their head height about the same height as the seal and the crossbeams?

MATT: The seal is a little bit higher than where their heads are. All right, so 25 to 20.

LAURA: 23.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 20 to 15?

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: All right, so we have Grog. 15 to ten?

SAM: 12.

LIAM: Oh sorry, I was looking at a book. 18. Sorry.

MATT: All righty. Keyleth, what you get?

MARISHA: Five. I don't want to talk about it.

MATT: Well, that being the case. As these large metallic warriors emerging from the sides of the chamber, wrenching the large metal blades, these large rectangular almost slab-like swords, bladed on each side. Vex, you're up first. What are you doing?

LAURA: Oh god.

MARISHA: What do we do?

TALIESIN: What do you do, hot shot?

LAURA: I want to attack them. I'm going to attack the one next to Percy. Attack-style. I'm going to Hunter's Mark him and then I'm going to attack him. I'm going to do this, and then this, and then this.

TRAVIS: What are things like this considered? Creatures or golems?

MATT: Constructs.

LAURA: God dang it! That was a miss; it was a one. It was a natural one.

MATT: All right, yeah, so you do actually pull back the arrow and it strikes true. However, the armored plating is so strong that the arrow shatters across the front of its armored chest.

LAURA: Fuck! I do it again.

MATT: All right, second shot.

LAURA: Oh my god. 21.

MATT: 21 hits.

LAURA: Okay, well that's good. Oh my god, I'm going to scream. Yeah, I know, bro. You're not bro, you're hubby.

TRAVIS: She called me "bro." Game of Thrones is obviously back on the air.

LAURA: 14. Don't say other numbers! 14 plus seven is 21. 24.

MATT: 24 points of damage. All righty. And are you going to stay wherever you are, or are do you want to move?

LAURA: How high is the ceiling?

MATT: The ceiling is about 30 feet up.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to fly up.

MATT: 25 to 30 feet.

LAURA: All right. I'm going to go to the roof.

MATT: Okay. You're going to go all the way up to the roof?

LAURA: Oh yeah. Some of that was lightning damage. That was two points of lightning damage. Because they're made of metal. I don't know if that did anything special.

MATT: Okay. Thank you for the heads-up on that. All righty. So ending your turn, that brings us to Vax.

LIAM: All right. To start, am I within striking range of him if I back up a little bit?

MATT: If you back up a little bit?

LIAM: Yeah. Do I need to disengage?

MATT: You are currently engaged with him.

LIAM: Okay, so that I'm that close.

MATT: Yeah. You're inspecting it as he emerged.

LIAM: Okay. I'm going to use my bonus action to Hunter's Mark him.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: And then I'm going to stick him in the face is what I'm going to do.

LAURA: Oh wait, I get 3d6 of sneak attack now?

MATT: If you haven't been marking that, yeah. You should do that.

LAURA: An extra four.

LIAM: So that's 30 for the first. And for the second. 30 for both.

MATT: 30 for both hits?

LIAM: Yeah, because I'm at advantage because I'm going before them.

MATT: Correct. So both hit.

LIAM: All right. So the first one, which will get the sneak attack fun, is ten plus psychic damage is 16 plus sneak attack damage. (counting) 38 for the first. Plus Hunter's Mark.

MATT: Plus another d6.

LIAM: 44 for the first and for the second is one. That's it. Is one plus the Hunter's Mark again, right?

LAURA: Only Hunter's Mark once on your attack.

LIAM: So it's only for one attack? Because I don't use it all the time.

LAURA: Just kidding. It's Hunter's Mark every time.

LIAM: Every time?

LAURA: Yeah, no, I know that.

LIAM: So five for the second.

LAURA: Yeah, sneak attack's only once but Hunter's Mark is every time.

MATT: Yeah, whenever you hit it with a weapon. All right. So what's that second one you said?

LIAM: Just five.

MATT: Five? All right. Got it.

LIAM: Wait! That's not true, sorry. 11. Because it's not an offhand attack, it's my second paladin attack.

MATT: That's correct. There you go. 11. Boom. All righty. And you're going to stay put, or you're going to move somewhere?

LIAM: I'm going to risk an attack while I'm not hasted. I'm going to risk an attack and back up about ten and go up another 15.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, they can't throw those greatswords, right?

LAURA: Don't give him ideas. Stop it.

MARISHA: You can't be paralyzed or restrained.

TRAVIS: Helps a lot.

MATT: All righty. So you're also just about at the ceiling with her. As you shoot up and away, it strikes up quickly after your daggers have been carving into its armor. Its blade comes up in a wide arc against you. That is an 18 plus 12. 30.

LIAM: 18 plus 12? Just barely hits.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Wow. Do we still have our Death Ward on?

MATT: You do, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, thank you for reminding me.

MARISHA: And our Heroes' Feast.

TALIESIN: We're pretty metal.

MATT: 32 points of slashing damage as the blade rakes across the front of your chest and forces you back even further. Your shoulders end up slamming into the ceiling from the impact of both you retracting back and the blow itself. Your wings have to catch you for a second and you're keeping yourself elevated at the moment. Finishing your turn there. That brings us to Grog.

TRAVIS: Right. Standing by the blacksmithing stuff, I say, you are interrupting Grog's arts and crafts! And I would like to rage.

MATT: All right. Into a rage you go.

TRAVIS: And I would like to charge at that little bastard right there.

MATT: This one here on its own?

TRAVIS: Yes, please.

MATT: Up into his face you go.

TRAVIS: Up into your face!

LAURA: Get him, Grog!

TRAVIS: Reckless, regular strike. Not terrible. 29.

MATT: That hits. Roll damage.

LAURA: 29 is not terrible. Did you know that?

TRAVIS: Hey, that's good. 28.

MATT: Damage? All right.

TRAVIS: The second one. Reckless, great weapon master.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just because. That's a million. That's 34 minus five is 29!

MATT: 34 minus five? Nice, that hits!

TRAVIS: Five, nine, 21, 31. 31 points of damage.

MATT: 31 points of damage. Fantastic.

TRAVIS: And that's it for my turn.

MATT: All righty. Ending Grog's turn there. Percival?

TALIESIN: I'm going to cry out to everyone: We need the heads. Don't hit them in the face please. I am engaged. I know, there's nothing I can do. I am engaged with that thing, aren't I?

MATT: Currently, yes.

LAURA: Maybe he doesn't see you because you're above him.

MATT: You technically triggered it. It's seemingly aware of your presence. In fact, the moment you say that, you watch as the metallic head goes (creak) and looks up right to you, that creepy triangular void staring right at you.

MARISHA: Do you think you can dispel their magic?

TALIESIN: I don't know. I'm going to try and take a run in the other direction. I know it's going to take a swing at me. Yep, I'm running down the wall.

MATT: This way, to the corner?

TALIESIN: Yep, as far as I can go.

MATT: That's about as far as you can get on that wall.

TALIESIN: I'll start coming that way, too. Not a full-- it's six spaces., so--

MATT: So at that point you'll be about there. All righty. It does swing at you.

TRAVIS: You'll be fine.

MATT: 19.

TALIESIN: 19 just hits.

MATT: 19's your AC?

TALIESIN: AC's 18.

LIAM: Escher man is down! I love being able to see everything.

LAURA: I know!

MATT: 34 points of slashing damage. Which almost cleaves you off the wall.

TALIESIN: 34 points? Okay, so hold on, let me do the math on that. (counting) Okay, yeah, I'm at 151 because I had a whole bunch of temporary points.

MATT: As you're running along the wall, it hits you from behind and for a second you feel the urge to black out and you fight through it and keep running. You can feel the warm spreading on the back of your shoulder blades from the blow, and you careen around that corner and stop, spinning to survey the room. What are you doing?

TALIESIN: I pull up. I'm going to take my first shot. I'm going to take a straight shot and I'm going to blow a point of grit. We'll get to that, and I'm going to try to get him to drop his sword. First thing is I'm going to try get him to drop the sword. That's a 34 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: Strength save against a 20.

MATT: Okay. That is a 13.

TALIESIN: Drop your sword.

MATT: Its sword clangs to the ground as you fire. You see one of its fingers bent back and busted from the impact and it looks over for a second. You watch as its broken finger (clicks) snaps back into place and it looks back at you.

TALIESIN: Okay, so that was shot number one. Oh boy, here we go! I've also got to do damage on that which is-- I'm so sorry, where are all my dice? There we are. Oh, I didn't do that, so none of that. Where are we going? I'm going to drop three points of Cabal into this, as well. Oh, there we are. Six points of psychic damage, four points of lightning damage, and 16 points of standard piercing damage.

MATT: Got you. And which weapon's this?

TALIESIN: Animus.

MATT: Got it. Perfect. All right, so (boom) the finger curls back and breaks into place.

TALIESIN: Next thing I'm going to do, I'm going to cast Hex on him. Give him disadvantage on strength saving throws.

MATT: Well, strength ability checks.

TALIESIN: Strength ability checks. And I'm going to take a sharpshooter shot. That's 20?

MATT: 20 just barely hits.

TALIESIN: Okay, good to know! Making that note. So I'm going to drop three more points of Cabal into that, so that's 20 points of piercing damage, four points of psychic damage, 13 points of lightning damage, and three points of necrotic damage.

LIAM: Percy's turned into Rambo.

MATT: Okay. So the second one you watch as one of its armored shoulder plates dents inward from the impact, and there's a small pierced hole in the center where it seems to have blasted through its armor.

TALIESIN: And last shot. I'm going to try and push him ten feet back.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Should have done damage. There's no damage on a push shot.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: But he got pushed.

TALIESIN: But he got pushed ten feet back. And hey, I got a grit point back.

TRAVIS: Yeah man, when I got pushed in the playground, it got in your head.

TALIESIN: So he's got to move ten feet before he can pick up his sword.

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: And that's everything.

MATT: All righty, that ends your turn? All right, it is now their turn. So the one that you just blasted back, as it skids to a halt, almost slams against the wall, it looks over at you across the way and then looks around and surveys the room quickly with its strange triangular vapid lack-of-a-face. Glances up and sees Vex'ahlia on the broom above. Goes into a full leap to push with its feet off the wall and attempt to grab towards you in the middle of the air.

LAURA: Oh no. It can jump that high?!

TRAVIS: Like a WWE cage match.

MATT: It's half the size of the room, practically, in height.

TRAVIS: This could be real bad. We might get total-partied right here.

MATT: So I'm making this a grapple check, so roll either acrobatics or athletics.

TRAVIS: Whichever one's better. Acrobatics.

LAURA: 25?

MATT: No. 34.

(groaning)

MATT: I rolled really high. So as it leaps in the air and grabs you, it drags you off the broom and then basically slam-dunks you into the coals. (crash) Straight over, prone into the coals, landing at the side of them right there. The broom goes clattering off to the side. It's still chained to you from the apparatus that you placed, and it scatters across the stonework a couple of feet from you.

TRAVIS: I thought it was just going to slam you into the ground!

TALIESIN: Oh, it's going to hurt!

MATT: You suffer 19 points of bludgeoning damage from the impact.

TALIESIN: Remember you have the temporary hit points.

MATT: And then ten points of fire damage from being slammed into the coals. You are considered on fire. You need to take an action to put it out or you take one d10 damage every turn.

TRAVIS: (singing) You whip your hair back and forth. (screams)

MATT: However, its sword-- and I'll go ahead and use this as a marker-- the sword is on the ground right there. So it can't use that right now. The other two can! So this one over there that got shot by you and flew away, arcs up, it's starting to look around to see if it can gain any real intent to go towards you and then glances off to the side and instead sees the smaller targets, the softer, easier to get to druid and gnome.

LIAM: What a fool.

MARISHA: Bring it, bitch!

MATT: Turns to engage both of you.

TRAVIS: This is the coal pit!

MATT: It's going to stop partway through there, and it's going to go right up there. You watch as underneath the head, the armor part in the chest suddenly hinges open, and you see this bright burning furnace in the center of its chest that (boom) lets out this extremely white-hot burning angry torrent of flame.

SAM: Can I cast Cutting Words, or can I use Cutting Words?

MATT: You can, if you'd like.

SAM: I don't know if it's going to do anything, but sure.

MATT: It can reduce damage. Because Cutting Words can reduce damage on an attack.

SAM: Only by a little. I want him to miss, right?

MATT: Well, it's going to hit regardless. You guys have to make saving throws.

MARISHA: It's a cone. It's just going to hit us.

MATT: It would be about there. Get all of you, including the other guy.

LAURA: If I'm prone do I still get to roll to roll through the coals to avoid it or some shit?

LIAM: Yeah, hide yourself under the coals.

TRAVIS: (laughter) Yeah. Like the McDonald's ball pit.

MATT: You do not get disadvantage on saving throws, so you can still continue to roll. I need Scanlan and Keyleth and Vex to all make dexterity saving throws please.

MARISHA: There's a hypodermic needle in here!

TRAVIS: Oh god, yeah.

TALIESIN: How very Santa Monica.

MARISHA: Sorry, keep hitting the mic. Just dex saving throws?

MARISHA and TALIESIN: (groaning)

SAM: Wait, are you pointing to me? Oh! I have this dice. It's the first time I've ever used it. It has poop on it; someone sent me poop dice, and I think I just rolled a natural 20 because I rolled the poop.

MATT: What's on the other side of the poop?

SAM: The other side is a skull.

TRAVIS: So that's a one, right?

LAURA: I think for you, you count the poop as a 20.

SAM: Is poop 20 or is poop one?

LAURA: I think poop is normally one.

MATT: What's next to the poop? What other numbers are near it?

SAM: 19, 13, and seven.

MATT: No, that's a one. Two ones on that!

LAURA: You got a one, as well?

MARISHA: No, I rolled a three, so I'm at seven.

MATT: Yeah, so Keyleth and Scanlan, you both from the chest furnace take 38 point of fire damage as it burns out in front of it. You take half that.

LAURA: Okay. Which is what?

MATT: It's 19 points of fire damage to you. And the flames burn across the other armored individual, the giant construct, and you watch as some of its damaged form begins to seal up from the flames.

LAURA: Flames help it. Fire heals them. Cold damage. Do cold damage!

TRAVIS: Fire bad!

TALIESIN: Fire good!

TRAVIS: Is good?

MARISHA: You said minus 38, right?

MATT: So that's going to end its turn. The chest slams shut now and the flames retract back inside, and you watch it exhaust smoke out each sides of its armor, and the flames that you saw burning in there are now dimmed, but beginning to flare up again. The one that's by you Grog is going to go ahead and move adjacently. Its head spins around for a second to look up at you and then it spins back to you, it's going to make two strikes at you with its greatsword. It has advantage on you because you used reckless.

TRAVIS: Yes, it does.

MATT: All right. That is 31.

TRAVIS: That hits.

MATT: That is 30.

TRAVIS: 30 points of damage.

MATT: No, that's two attacks.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, they both hit. Of course.

MATT: Okay. So for these 33 points of slashing damage, reduced to half.

TRAVIS: What is that?

MATT: So that's 16? Right? Yeah.

LAURA: 31 divided by two? Yeah.

MATT: Well it's 33 divided by two. And then the other one is another 34.

TRAVIS: Damn!

MATT: So there you go. Round down, so 16 points of slashing damage. So that's going to end its turn there. All right, bringing us to Scanlan. Your turn.

LAURA: Do something amazing.

SAM: I'm on vacation, so nothing's going to be amazing. Is the sword still on the ground?

MATT: It is.

SAM: Is it near me?

MATT: It's about 25 feet from you.

SAM: Okay I will cast Bigby's Hand! And I will pick up the sword and I will use it to hit not the guy whose sword it was, but the guy closest to me.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: They're technically both equidistant from you.

SAM: Okay. Doesn't matter. I want the guy who hit me.

MATT: Okay, so you can move Bigby's Hand. I'll see how many feet it can move, because it'll pick up the sword, I don't know if it can--

SAM: It can move 60 feet.

MATT: It can move 60 feet? Okay then! Then yes, it definitely can. It darts over to the guy who hit you with the flames, so go ahead and make your attack. I'll say for the purposes of this, I'll add an additional d12 slashing damage to its strike.

SAM: I got an 18. Plus something; I don't know.

MATT: 18 to roll for its attack, plus your spell attack, so that definitely hits.

SAM: Oh, plus 11. Yeah, that's huge. Is this a sword attack, or is this Bigby's Hand's clenched fist attack?

MATT: I'm making it a clenched fist attack, so it's 4d8 force damage from adding an additional d12 slashing because it's wielding a sword while it does it, because that's cool.

SAM: That's cool. Okay, I love you, and thank you. So I roll 4d8. Cool. Oh wait, wrong one.


MATT: 4d8 plus 1d12.

SAM: 4d8, 17 plus 12, 29.

LAURA: Well, plus a 1d12.

MATT: Plus you have to roll a d12.

SAM: Oh! Sorry, thank you. Then it's 17 plus seven.

MATT: Okay. 24 points of damage to him. All right, perfect. So the fist comes by and slams into it. The sword arcs through its armor and you watch some of the plates separate a bit, but it's still holding itself in place. That's your action?

SAM: Oh, I get a bonus. I will inspire Keyleth. I guess. Not that she needs any help; she's so fricking powerful, but I will inspire Keyleth by singing (singing) Your Minxie brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours, you can teach them, but you'd have to "chorge?" (speaking) I don't know.

MATT: Take a d12 "chorge" die.All right. And you want to move at all?

SAM: I'm close to a guy who's going to hit me if I move, right?

MATT: You're not currently in melee with a guy yet, but you're on the outside of melee with two guys.

SAM: Then I will move dead center on the board.

MATT: Okay, so you're going to move back up the stairs a bit, then. You'll be here. That ends your turn Scanlan. Keyleth you're up.

MARISHA: Do you need help off the coals?

LAURA: I'll figure it out.

MARISHA: You're fine, right? Okay. I am going to turn and do a Tidal Wave against this guy in front of me, so he has to make a dexterity saving throw. Tidal Wave.

MATT: Pull this up real fast.

TRAVIS: Away, behind you or the one across the pit?

TALIESIN: The one closest to us, or the one on the other side?

MARISHA: Let me see. (counting) I don't think I can hit both of them with most of my stuff.

LAURA: Can you hit the two that are by us?

MARISHA: I can, but I think it'd also hit you. It's a straight line.

LAURA: How much damage is it?

MARISHA: 4d8 bludgeoning.

LAURA: Put me out, I wouldn't be on fire anymore.

MATT: You can do it in a way that would probably hit both of them, but it would probably hit her, as welll.

LAURA: Do it!

MARISHA: Are we concerned about me extinguishing these coals? We can light coals again, right?

LAURA: Unless they're magic.

TRAVIS: I have made fire.

MARISHA: Okay, cool, then with permission from Vex, I'll put you out! And then I'll step out of the way.

LAURA: Maybe it'll push me out of the coals.

TRAVIS: It's going to turn this room into a sauna.

MARISHA: Yes! I'm turning into a sauna! I'm going to hit that and go (boom).

MATT: All right, so it slams across them. All right, dexterity saving throw for Vex and both of them.

LIAM: This combat just got a lot sexier.

MATT: (laughs) 18 and a nine.

MARISHA: Fail. Both of them.

LAURA: Oh, do I roll a dexterity save, too?

MATT: You do.

LAURA: I think I fail it. Oh no. 16, fail.

MATT: Knocked prone, knocked prone. Okay yeah, so you take the full damage, as well, but you are no longer on fire.

LAURA: Yay! Did I get pushed out of the coals from the water?

MATT: No, but the coals are no longer burning, so it's not a huge deal, at least that edge of it isn't.

MARISHA: So they take 19 damage, they're knocked prone, and the water extinguishes all unprotected flames.

MATT: So as this giant column of flame roars up, you watch as one of the constructs disappears into the water and gets slammed into the wall, (sloshing) over the coals, temporarily douses you, flames go out but you get battered around briefly by the other guy behind you, both of your forms crash into each other. He falls onto his back and as the water subsides steam fills the room now, visibility is now limited.

MARISHA: Like a fog cloud?

MATT: Yeah. Everybody in here for the most part, unless you're directly in melee range, you're at partial cover.

LAURA: Is it up through, all the way to the ceiling?

MATT: Yeah, it only lasts a round or so, then it'll dissipate. But for the next round or so there's partial cover for anyone not directly in melee.

MARISHA: Partial cover? So it works both ways.

MATT: Yeah. Against them and you.

TRAVIS: As if Vax needed any other reason to hide.

MARISHA: I can feel the chat saying “Thanks Keyleth.” I can feel it!

LAURA: You know what? Seriously though, thanks Keyleth.

MATT: Are you going to stay where you are?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, that ends your turn. We're at the top, Vex you're up.

MARISHA: No, wait! I'm going to take my bonus action to go water elemental. And then I can still move, right? Can I then move my water elemental into this guy's space and as part of my elemental form I can move into spaces that are within an inch.

MATT: Yeah. That'll do.

MARISHA: Can I enter a hostile creature's space?

MATT: Yeah. Perfect. All righty. That ends your turn, Vex, now it's your turn.

LAURA: Okay, so I'm going to stand up.

MATT: You get up, (groans). The flames are gone. You're still aching from being slammed so heavily into the coals there and you can look down, you can see beneath the water that has turned to steam and is dissipating on the middle of the hot metal floors of this room. The construct is still thrashing and about to get its way back up. What are you doing?

LAURA: I can see him good enough though to shoot him?

MATT: Oh yeah, he's right there.

LAURA: Am I at disadvantage because he's prone, but he's right there?

MATT: You're at disadvantage both because prone and you guys are in melee. You can back up if you want to to try, I mean unfortunately because he's on the ground and it's a ranged weapon, it's still disadvantage. It's nothing to do with the weapon, it's the fact that he's on the ground, prone.

TALIESIN: Oh it's on the ground, okay.

LAURA: Okay well I'm going to back up, because he can't take a strike at me, right?

MATT: He can take a swing at you, but it'll be his fists.

LAURA: I'm going to back towards the stairs where Scanlan is.

MATT: So you're back up towards the stairway there. It does get one swing at you, no he already got-- no, because your turn is before his, so he does have his reaction. So he swings out with a fist at you, that is a 21.

SAM: I will Cutting Words that.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Thanks, Scanlan!

MATT: Well, what are your Cutting Words to him?

SAM: Oh. I'm going to quote from some old TV show and say: you are a monstrous mechanised misguided moron! That's it.

MATT: Very nice. Go ahead and roll a d12.

TRAVIS: I don't know that TV show.

TALIESIN: I think it's Lost in Space.

SAM: Correct, Taliesin Jaffe! Oh shit, I only rolled a three.

LAURA: Does that Cutting Words him down to 19 or 18?

MATT: Yeah, that brings him down to an 18.

LAURA: Then he doesn't hit me.

MATT: As the fist swings wide, the words seem to strangely cut through to what element of an ego this charisma-one creature has and slams into the metal, causing this large, heavy knuckle punch to the ground as it resounds this heavy (clang) shakes the ground. Vex, you manage to move by without issue.

LAURA: Great! I think I'm going to then try to attack him.

MATT: Go for it. Two attacks with disadvantage.

LAURA: Okay. Ugh, natural 20 was one of them. 30 is the first attack.

TRAVIS: It's 20 and an 18, that's pretty good.

MATT: Actually it's an interesting point, the prone. An attack roll against the creature has advantage if the attacker is within five feet of the creature.

LAURA: Oh, so if I hadn't moved away I would have been okay?

MATT: Possibly. It's still ranged; you'd be at disadvantage for ranged in melee, so would have been a regular attack.

LAURA: Yeah, so it's not cancelled out, if I hadn't moved it would have been, never mind. We'll just fucking say it's fine, because then I'm going to wish I had that crit I just got. So 30 was the attack roll. Okay. (groans) Okay, that is 13, 14, 15. 15 plus one lightning damage. Plus six sneak-- no sneak attack, just kidding.

TRAVIS: Did you Hunter's Mark him?

LAURA: There's the Hunter's Mark. Five Hunter's Mark. That's the first attack, and the second attack at disadvantage is 19?

MATT: 19 just misses. Hits the armor, (crash) shatters across it.

LAURA: Fuck.

MATT: Is that your turn?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Vax.

LIAM: All right, I want to slam down right--

LAURA: Sorry, can I use my bonus to hide behind one of those pillars?

MATT: Sure, go ahead and roll a stealth check.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: It's foggy in this room!

TRAVIS: Vax!

LIAM: Yes, all right, slam down right by that one's head, straight down to the ground, (pang) take a split second to look up at the watery druid, shake my fucking head, stab, stab right into its face. Yeah. Okay, so first one is a 33.

MATT: 33 hits.

LIAM: Yeah, and the second one is 28.

MATT: 28 hits.

LIAM: All right. So he's prone; he's at disadvantage. I'm going to dump smite into both of these.Yeah! (counting) 36 plus the smite, which is 32, 39 for the first, and then for the second hit is two, six, eight, plus the smite, eight, ten, 12.

MATT: Total damage? All right, so as you slam down the first strike, you jam it right into the chest, and as you pull back the blade you watch as one of the chest armor pieces flips open and the flames, the furnace of its chest that are starting to burn in again begin to fill with the water from the water elemental, and more steam emerges from it. As it's starting to feel the furnace burn out, you reach in with your dagger and find a cool spot and jam it right in the middle where you see one of the embers is the brightest and as your hand goes in and strikes it, the ember goes dark and immediately the creature falls limp there.

LIAM: Then, so with the way Hunter's Mark works is I can move it to another as a bonus action? Can I get it over to the one by Grog?

MATT: What's the range on it?

LIAM: Oh jeez. 90 feet. Okay, so I should have a little bit of movement left, so I'm going to shoot back up, high-five my girlfriend on the way, and go as high as I can in the room.

MARISHA: I go (splat).

MATT: Yeah, it's like punching a fire hydrant. All right, so you're going to head over this way.

LIAM: I'm only 60 feet because I'm not hasted wings.

MATT: Right, but this also is a small area, so between here, it's almost 30 feet there and then 30 feet up, so you'd probably be closer to here.

LIAM: Okay. Awesome.

MATT: Yeah, there you go.That ends your turn. Grog, you're up.

TRAVIS: All right, this guy can obviously play heavy. Reckless, great weapon master, can I make the first attack, I'm going to try for the first time--

MATT: And remember this round, don't forget your retaliation ability.

TRAVIS: Yeah, right.

MATT: You forget it a lot.

TRAVIS: I do, I know. I'm sorry, I get confused! I'm going to try a trip attack with my new maneuvers. It's a d8, right, that's added--

MATT: To the damage, but you still have to roll to hit first.

TRAVIS: Okay. Reckless, great weapon master! 30 minus five is 25.

MATT: 25 hits, yeah.

TRAVIS: So 11, 27, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41.

LAURA: 41!

MATT: 41 points of damage to it!

TRAVIS: And he's tripped. Oh, he has to make a strength saving throw.

MATT: Correct. He actually got a 15, and your DC for your abilities-- do you have that figured out? You should have that figured out. It's eight plus your strength modifier plus your proficiency bonus. You're way over.

TRAVIS: Oh! Okay, cool.

MATT: So six plus eight. It's 14 plus your strength bonus, which is I believe eight, yeah.

TRAVIS: 26.

MATT: No, not 26, it's 14 plus eight.

TRAVIS: 76.

MATT: Yeah. Sure. So with that, first you knock it prone onto the ground, tripping out from under itself as you sweep across its legs, you watch as one of the pauldrons that's built into its leg splinters off, and you can see the inner mechanisms of the construct's leg. What do you want to do for your second attack?


TRAVIS: I want to hit it again! Reckless, great weapon master. Thank god for that. Seven. Shit, that might not be so good. 20.

MATT: 20 just barely hits.

TRAVIS: Oh, it hits. Okay. One, seven, 17! Oh, 17 plus ten, so 27.

MATT: You're in melee, too, so the reduce his ability doesn't really affect you since you're right up against him. How much was that damage total?

TRAVIS: 27.

MATT: 27 points. Okay. As you swipe it from under the ground and it falls onto its back, it slams, hits the ground with a hard metallic (clang). Using that momentum you swing back, (wham) and slam down on top of its chest, which caves in briefly, you can see bits of the flame of the interior furnace flickering around the edges where the metal's now crinkled inward, exposing the burning flame. Is that your turn?

TRAVIS: Can I spend an action surge to do one more strike into his Gallagher-afflicted chest. Reckless, great weapon master! That's a lot. 16, 20, 34, 29.

MATT: 29 hits. Roll damage. You have two more attacks for your action surge.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

LAURA: It's just another attack.

TALIESIN: Welcome to my world, man.

TRAVIS: 21, 31.

MATT: 31 hits.

TRAVIS: Nice. No, 29 was the hit, and 31 was the damage.

MATT: 31 was the damage?! Okay, so as you pull your weapon up from the first impact, seeing the damage it's done, you grin and you feel the veins bulge once more in your neck and you bring it up a third time for this one, slamming it down, the chest caves in entirely and you watch it fall limp as its arms detach and fall to the side. It's done.You still have one more attack, and you haven't moved.

TRAVIS: Can I turn (cracking) to my right in my rage and start running across the room to Old Stupid Butt on the wall? 50 feet.

LAURA: Oh, you got to it!

TRAVIS: Last one! Reckless, great weapon master!

MATT: (laughter) Okay!

TRAVIS: That's a million. 35, 30?

MATT: Yeah, that hits.

TRAVIS: Okay. Five, 21, 31.

LAURA: It's so good when they're within range of Grog.

MATT: Yeah. All righty. That ends your turn, Grog. That brings us to Percival.

TALIESIN: I'm going to spend a point of dead-eye to that last one that's on the ground, and I think that cancels out the disadvantage. Yeah, let's shoot him. Yeah, that's a 27.

MATT: 27 hits.

TALIESIN: That's ten points of damage, two points of necrotic, two points of psychic. And do the same. That's 32.

MATT: That hits.

(groaning)

TALIESIN: What a senseless waste of human life.

LAURA and LIAM: The tarot cards!

TALIESIN: Tarot cards are fine!

MARISHA: They're actually fine. They were on the box.

MATT: Just let me know what magical items you need me to re-print out for you.

TALIESIN: All of them!

MARISHA: And your new dice box.

LAURA: Can we get some paper towels?

LIAM and TALIESIN: Ten points of coffee damage.

LAURA: It may have landed on some wires.

TALIESIN: That's nine points of normal damage, two points of psychic damage, six points of necrotic.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Somebody's running now. Soon as we said wires.

TALIESIN: And for my third shot. That's 30 points.

MATT: That hits, yeah.

TALIESIN: That's 17 points of normal damage, four points of necrotic, one point of psychic.

MATT: Okay. So after Grog rushed up and slammed in this one's chest, he pulls back and actually pulls the armored chest plate that retains the furnace in the inside off. It's still wedged on the axe. And as it pulls open you see the flame begin to spark and billow out the chest. How do you want to do this?

(shouting)

TRAVIS: You are frenzied raging right now.

TALIESIN: I want to pour a cup of coffee--

(laughter)

MARISHA: Morning traffic Percy's like (groaning).

TALIESIN: I'm going to sit. I've already got him, second time I'm going to find very carefully every little crack, and I'm going to get him in there. I'm going to listen to them bang around on the interior. I'm going to rattle them around.

MATT: You hear the ricochet on the inside (clanging), as it does, the flicker burns really bright, you can feel it almost burns into your beard but you pull away real fast, almost like looking out of the trap in Ghostbusters. So you turn away. The flames (crackle) burn upward and then immediately go dark afterward, it falls and collapses to the ground there, unmoving.

TRAVIS: I looked in the trap, Ray.

MARISHA: Ugh, no!

TALIESIN: It's going to be fine.

LAURA: The worst. It's seriously under the box though, on the wires.

LIAM: But coffee and Wyrmwood are the two best things, so you're mixing the two best things.

(yelling)

LAURA: It's everywhere!

TALIESIN: Holy cow. I have a coffee problem.

MATT: The coffee-pocalypse has come to Critical Role this night.

TRAVIS: That's an eight-ounce cup. It's a normal cup of coffee.

TALIESIN: You would think, and I've been drinking it all night.

LAURA: How is there so much coffee?!

TALIESIN: I don't know!

TRAVIS: You can caffeinate half of Burbank right there.

TALIESIN: Ignore me.

MATT: It's hard to.

So. As you all take a moment to look around, you can see that these three warriors now lie, broken and destroyed on the ground. Whether it be drowned, torn apart internally, or bludgeoned in the center of their chest cavity, they are no longer moving. You still, now in the quiet, hear the rhythmic (steady banging) that's been perpetually feeding into the distant background of this entire structure deep beneath the volcano. What do you want to do?

TRAVIS: Can I look at the golem, the construct that's down by me? Is his face, the triangle face, is it detachable? Can I remove it from the rest of his person?

TALIESIN: We can always put it underneath the smelter and pour in.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: Hold onto your butts. That's a one.

MATT: There's no button for it. There's the old fashioned way.

LIAM: I'm going to land down next to the other one and start looking in the same fashion. Across the room.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself.

MATT: All right, go for it.

TRAVIS: And I will do it the old fashioned way.

MATT: So make a strength check, please.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: Like most of its armored pieces, the arms detach, but the head is a solid jointed portion to the torso.

TRAVIS: 22.

MATT: 22. And as you're inspecting this, you hear this horrible (clanging) sound in the distance as you see Grog with his foot up on the center of the armored clavicle piece, yanks the head off of it, tearing, causing the metal to bend back and spring for a moment in the air.

TRAVIS: Look, it's just like the one above the coals!

LIAM: Oh, that's how you do it.

LAURA: Good job, Grog.

TALIESIN: We've got to do all three heads.

TRAVIS: That's an interesting phrase.

LAURA: See if you can smelt some platinum into that thing, Grog. Should it be platinum? Should probably be platinum, yeah?

TALIESIN: We have the platinum. Let's see what happens. Let's smelt the platinum into the heads.

LAURA: You know how to do it, because you're a blacksmith now.

TRAVIS: We're not supposed to like, kissy-face the heads to make some sort of a 3D shape?

LAURA: No, it's already got a pyramid in it.

TRAVIS: Good deal.

TALIESIN: I think we're going to put all three into the one.

TRAVIS: Sounds like a plan. Can I go over and archaically remove the other two noggins?

MATT: Sure.

SAM: May I assist by holding the bodies with Bigby's Hand while you pull the heads?

MATT: Yes, actually. Make a strength check with advantage, Grog.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: Yeah, so with Bigby's Hand wrapping around the body, clutching it like an action figure, you very easily (crack) pop the head off, and you now have two disembodied heads.

TRAVIS: One more. Do you want to help me with this one, too? Yeah! What's wrong with your voice? 18.

MATT: 18. (groaning) It takes a little while, and it pulls off, but it's mildly deformed from being pulled off. It seems like the hole in the face is intact. It took so hard a try.

TRAVIS: We got the ashtrays.

TALIESIN: That'll do. Let's try this.

TRAVIS: All right. We head over to the smelting apparati.

MATT: Okay. So you walk on over, and it's a small furnace built in there with extremely hot coals, and it seems to be an influx of perpetual heat, but there's large bellows next to it that you can use to try and increase the heat there for a temporary, short time, and strangely you once again, you look over to it and you know exactly how this works, like you've always worked with it before. So the flames that were a burning orange-red, extremely hot, begin to flare into bright yellow and white in places. And the heat emanating from it is enough that it causes a lot of you to get uncomfortable in the presence and have to take a step back, Grog enduring it.

MARISHA: I'm still a fire hydrant. Keyleth is on fire marshal duty. I do some misting, like at Six Flags to cool off Vex.

TRAVIS: You can't just run through, like Universal City Walk or something?

MARISHA: Yeah. Mainly just to make Vex sexy. That's really all I'm going for.I turned into an elemental. I've got to do something with it.

MATT: Make a check with your blacksmithing tools, which is your proficiency modifier, and we'll say for this, because it is a more dextrous use of this skill, add your dexterity modifier.

TRAVIS: Okay. 24.

MATT: 24. So in setting up preparation, you take each one of the heads, and to fill each one of their-- I want to say concave, but it's an interior pyramid space. Convex is outward. It will be about 100 platinum pieces or so to fill each face void. So you take the platinum, you melt it down into the smelter, get it to where it's in the gripped, tong-held metallic reservoir, until it eventually melts down. You then pour it into each of the heads, so 300 platinum utilized to do this. It fills to the very edge. Some of it spills over, but you can easily snip that off. As you wait for it to cool, which you can probably help with, actually, as there is no basin for quenching the metal at the moment, so the steam (whoosh) rises up all around, and you turn the heads over, and each one (sliding sound) leaves these heavy metallic pyramid pieces that are smooth and perfect on three of the sides, and one of them appears to be almost like a broken crystal on the inside. It's a shattered, messed-up section.

LAURA: Puzzle piece! Got to fit them together!

TALIESIN: Okay, so if we fit these together--

MATT: They seem to fit together very well; you figured it out very quickly, they fit and hold together.

LAURA: With the jaggedy ends, or with the smooth ends?

MATT: The jaggedy ends all fit together.

TALIESIN: Does this now make another concave piece?

MATT: All together, it makes a pyramid that comes to a central point.

LAURA: (shouting) Let's put it in the big thing!

TALIESIN: So I've still got some Spider Climb, so I'm going to grab one and lift up. All the fliers?

LAURA: Yep. Let's go.

MATT: Okay. So the three of you make it up, fit it together, push it in. It fits in perfectly. Slips in. You all back up... nothing.

LAURA: We push it in harder.

MATT: All right, make a strength check.

LAURA: This is definitely going to be really good.

LIAM: I push on my sister's shoulder blades.

LAURA: 15.

LAURA and LIAM: (groaning)

MATT: Right, you guys (groans) get behind and shove, push. Nothing.

TRAVIS: Can I try?

LAURA: Yeah. Grog, you try.

TRAVIS: I run across the coal pits and Superman punch the pyramid.

LIAM: I barrel-roll out of the way.

TRAVIS: I rage before I do this.

LAURA: Oh Jesus. There's a dent in it now.

MATT: You get advantage on this, then.

TRAVIS: That's what I was hoping for. 21.

MATT: (impact noise) The impact on this causes the whole room to shake almost, from the blast. You hear the echo right up the stairs in the hallway that you emerged from, you can hear continuing as it slowly dissipates in the distance. You land, and you can see there's actually a knuckle mark in the platinum from the impact. No effect.

LAURA: Hey, I've got an idea. What if we take this thing off of the cross beams, right? And stick it in the coals, or something. Because why are the coals here, right underneath it?

MARISHA: I drop water elemental form. You think it needs to be hot first?

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: I look up, I line up the apparatus and look across the room, does it feel like there's any other Indiana Jones--

MATT: The stairway is in the way. Because the stairway doesn't come all the way to the top of the ceiling, and then back here it blocks this passage between the two of them, but as you go and look, all it is is the reddish, rust colored cross-beams that are bolted against the wall, and in the center there's the round golden crest with the triangle shape which is now filled with the platinum key that you've made.

TALIESIN: Are the coals hot or are the coals cold?

MATT: The coals are currently now cold.

TRAVIS: Should we try turning it?

LAURA: Oh yeah, good idea! But we should reignite these coals, because I think it's bad that they've burned down right now.

MARISHA: I think so, too. Just to test, yeah, I'm going to do Burning Hands. How quickly do they catch?

MATT: Pretty quickly. And you get the sense that they were slowly catching, anyway; there's something about them, the heat that the general room perpetually emanates maintains the fires within. But your flame with the burning hands very quickly elevates and quickens that process, and you watch as the coals now glow to a bright orange-red hue, and you can feel the heat emanating from them.

LAURA: Can we turn the circle? Does it move?

MATT: So you go up to the edge and you grab the edge of the golden crest and tug! And it's not moving.

LAURA: Gosh darn it! What are we supposed to do?

MARISHA: Are there any inlays?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: Okay. It's not my strong point. Goddamn it, that's like the fourth three I've rolled today.

SAM: Hey, you're inspired.

MATT: (laughter) You are inspired. Up to you.

MARISHA: Better. 12.

MATT: 12. It's smooth gold, there's no signs or runes or anything on the side.

TALIESIN: I want to see if there's anything by the holes that were left by the soldiers who left.

MATT: What was that?

TALIESIN: The three suits of armor came out of the wall, so there's now a wall that we haven't seen behind them.

LAURA: Maybe it's supposed to be gold.

MARISHA: Platinum is for the trams.

MATT: Okay. So you go ahead and look inside which one?

TALIESIN: I'm going to do all three, but I'll start on the one of the left.

MATT: Okay, roll investigation check.

TALIESIN: That's investigation check. What did you do? Six.

MARISHA: Is that also a three?

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's also a three.

MATT: You look around inside and the shape is a perfect indentation of the physical form with the three metal warriors. You don't see any signs of anything beyond enough of a cavity to fit them snugly when they're dormant.

LIAM: Hey Scanlan? You want to use your dragon fisting friend to put that pyramid in the coals and heat it up and then shove it back in?

SAM: Wait, what?

LIAM: Do you want to use Bigby's Hand to take that pyramid, shove it in the coals, heat it up, and see if that makes a difference, shove it back in hot?

SAM: So you want me to heat the platinum and then shove into the guy's face?

MATT: Bigby's Hand, by the way, at this time has faded. It only lasts for a minute with concentration. The spell has faded.

LIAM: Well, maybe the pyramid heated up could make a difference.

TRAVIS: All right, I walk up into the coals, take the platinum pyramid out, and I'll drop it down into the coals.

MATT: Okay, it's about 15 feet up off the ground.

TRAVIS: Shit. Can I jump, Boots of Feral Leaping?

MATT: You can. I'll say you leap up and grab the edges of the seal with your giant strength, and wedge your fingers in the side and pull it out and land on the coals. You do take four points of fire damage as the coals begin to burn into your feet and the proximity of the heat. But you begin to back up out of the coal based center now holding the key.

TRAVIS: Can I put it in the coals?

MATT: Okay, the three pieces come apart as soon as you pull it from the section, so you have the three different pieces right there in your arms.

TALIESIN: So when three pieces go together the part that goes towards the wall--

MATT: It's another point. It's like a four-sided pyramid.

TALIESIN: All right, it is a pyramid, so the whole pyramid goes to the wall.

MATT: Yeah, it's a flat seal on the outside.

LAURA: I think this needs to be gold, dear.

TALIESIN: Why would it be gold?

LAURA: Well, the outside is gold

TALIESIN: It's true.

MARISHA: Maybe the platinum is only for the trammels, not the key.

LAURA: We can try it. We have gold.

LIAM: Finish my stupid idea, and then we'll move onto the next stupid one.

LAURA: Good call.

TRAVIS: Is the platinum pyramid started to heat up yet?

MATT: You're holding it in your arms.

TRAVIS: I drop it in the coals.

MATT: Okay. You drop it in the coals. You wait about five minutes or so, and you s they're not smelter ready.

TRAVIS: You know what, I feel like, I feel like, this is stupid. I pick them up. (pained gasps) Tell me where they go

MATT: Okay, make an intelligence check, Grog, to assemble the three puzzle pieces of the key. Negative two. Nine.

MATT: (laughs) He's having a hard time putting those pieces together, guys!

LIAM: I'm going to set Deathwalker's Ward to fire and going to start helping.

MATT: All right. You each take five points of fire damage just helping touch and assemble this key. Once you get it together you hold it in the grasp of your hands. You leap using the Boots of Feral Leaping, jam it back inside. Land off to the side. Nothing.

TRAVIS: Asshole! Son of a bitch!.

LAURA: We got to fucking try it in gold! Try it in gold. Maybe try it in gold.

TALIESIN: I have one other thought.

SAM: What?

LAURA: What is it?

TALIESIN: What's the red armor made out of?

LAURA: (gasps) What are the armors made out of?

MATT: It's a dark, reddish-black metal.

LAURA: Can we melt the golems into their heads?

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: Melt each one. Maybe it's got to be the metal they're made out of.

TRAVIS: The triangles are like this big and the armor is like massive.

LAURA: Yeah so take some of the metal and melt it down into the head.

MARISHA: What is the metal? Can we do a check to see what kind of metal it is, what it's made out of?

MATT: Either of these guys can attempt to do that.

TALIESIN: I can take a look. What would that be?

MATT: This would be an intelligence check plus your tinkering benefit, intelligence check plus your blacksmithing proficiency modifier.

TALIESIN: So that's intelligence plus my normal tinker check?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So that's not bad. Let's see.

TRAVIS: 19.

TALIESIN: Oh wow! That's 32.

MATT: Okay. So both of you say out loud at the same time, "Oh, this is volcanic glass metal."

TALIESIN and TRAVIS: Volcanic glass metal. Aha!

LAURA: So maybe can we melt it?

TALIESIN: Only in a glass volcano. No, I think it will melt.

TRAVIS: Do I know if volcanic--

MATT: Yeah, it's a-- (laughs) It's a type of metal-- you're following me on this?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm following you on it.

MATT: Okay, It's an oxidized red iron base that in the construct and the folding of the metal, to build the actual armored structure of these creatures, had bits of volcanic glass folded into the actual metal as it was created.

LAURA: I feel like that makes it special.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Bring on the Night King.

TALIESIN: We can give it a shot, can't we?

TRAVIS: I go down into each of the three.

LIAM: Why don't you make their dreams come true and rip their groins off?

LAURA: Melt their body into their face and make triangles out of the metal.

MATT: Okay, because you rolled a very high check, I'll let you know, that generally heating up a metal to the point in which it is liquid and then pouring it into the same metal is going to mess up the mold.

TALIESIN: That's a terrible idea. Let's try gold. I would have felt very foolish.

LAURA: You guys are so smart about this stuff, then we should do gold.

TRAVIS: It comes, it comes in waves. It's like a neural wave thing.

TALIESIN: We'll try the gold.

MATT: Okay, so about a hundred gold pieces per head. So 300 gold pieces removed.

LAURA: Wait, how come there's 300? Ooh, it's not the same worth as this one.

MATT: Well it's a hundred gold pieces per face. So it's 300 gold pieces total. So 300 gold taken off, total. You smelt it down, same process, and then place within each of the three molds, wait for it to cool and then you remove the three key pieces of the solid gold. They all fit together just as the platinum pieces did.

TRAVIS: Can somebody go pull that thing out, and then I will go and put this one in?

TALIESIN: I'm pulling it out.

MATT: Okay, so you go ahead and you pull out the chunks of heated, now cooling platinum and drop them into the coals for a moment. You pull them off the coals, carefully.

TRAVIS: Can I run up and MJ the new gold pyramid into the--?

MATT: Sure, make an intelligence check.

TRAVIS: An intelligence check? Oh, because I got to put them together. Two!

MATT: Grog is having a hard time with that. Okay.

TRAVIS: I'm making an origami swan.

MATT: (laughs) Okay, you guys eventually help him put it together a second time.

LIAM: That is a really good macaroni art you've made. It's so good. That's a boat, right?

LAURA: Let's put it in the key.

MATT: All right. So as you have it assembled you rush up, leap jam it in up there and it slides into place. You hear like a heavy slamming sound and what sounds like the scraping of heavy chain mail. (metallic scraping)

TRAVIS: I grab the platinum pyramid and I put it in the Bag of Holding.

LAURA: No! I already said that I had them. No. No, he doesn't do that.

MATT: The wall immediately shudders and you see a layer of dust and soot, (falling sand) off of it. as it falls to rest onto the ground and you see the wall slowly rise up. (grinding gears)

MARISHA: Wait. I forgot to prep something. Hide!

MATT: Okay, so who's hiding?

LIAM: I am.

MATT: All right, stealth check.

LAURA: Yeah, and I'm hiding behind the pillar that I'm next to.

MATT: All right, so you hide behind there.

TRAVIS: Scanlan, face death with me!

SAM: This is bullshit. I'm going to stand there, hands on hips.

MARISHA: I'll hug the wall closest to the door.

MATT: Okay. All right.

TRAVIS: It's just going to reveal another stairway, come on.

TALIESIN: It's going to be another door.

TRAVIS: Did you guys see National Treasure?

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: What?

TALIESIN: No, I never saw National Treasure.

LAURA: Oh my god, it's so good.

TALIESIN: Okay, well we'll make a date, then.

MARISHA: It's Nick Cage at his most mediocre.

LAURA: St. Nicholas.

MATT: As the door eventually comes to a stop maybe a foot before it reaches the ceiling, black smoke pours in from the other chamber. You watch as it immediately fills the ceiling and then begins to dissipate up the stairway and the hallway above you where you guys originally descended from. You see flashes of sparks and embers through these clouds of black smoke and soot within the chamber. It's obscuring most of your view of the room inside. And that heavy pounding, that (pounding) is much louder now. You can sense that it is actually the source of that rhythmic beat, that metal-on-metal clang you have been feeling since you first came into this series of chambers.

You can see small streams of glowing orange molten rock within the chamber, which is slightly down and before you. Looks like two small ten-foot-wide rivers of molten rock, metal-- you can't quite tell from here, but it's glowing orange and red, and they both convene and go dark in the center where it looks like they are being covered or obscured by something, that you can't quite make out at this distance.

LAURA: A giant anvil?

MATT: Make a perception check, anybody who wants to glance in. Right now, the only people who can look in would not be Percival and Vax because they are in the way back, and Keyleth is there, if you want to glance in the side you can.

MARISHA: I can do a peek?

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: 17.

TRAVIS: 16.

MARISHA: 24.

LAURA: That sound is creepy as fuck.

TALIESIN: I know, it's a lot of sound.

MATT: What you can make out for the most part is that this central platform is raised. Most of this is staircase that leads up to a middle platform that is in the center of this large chamber, and it looks to be a couple of large heavy platforms or pillars that have roaring flames at the edges of them. You can see beneath, the two pools of lava that disappear beneath it, and you see a hint of a spiral staircase on each side that curls around the back end of where those two rivers of molten rock meet. Behind that, you see the flashes, (sparking) like these rhythmic engines of sparks that are pouring out of the black smoke that is perpetually filling the upper part of this chamber. However, since now it has a place to escape, the room is slowly revealing the interior. You can see on top of this platform in the center, a large dark metal object, roughly four to five feet from front to back and about three feet wide of dark, jet black metal, with small veins of glowing red and orange that curl around it that occasionally flare with each impact of whatever this rhythmic metal clanging is behind it.

As the smoke begins to dissipate even further, more visibility reveals the shape of this object to be that of an anvil. You can see a number of chains that are linked to it on each side that dangle off the edge. You cannot quite see what is at the end of these chains; they are falling off the side of this platform and out of view. You'd have to get closer to see what they are. However the shape that you now see, right behind this platform, looming at about 20 feet tall from your estimation at this distance, Keyleth, as you are the one who sees this before anyone else does. You see a stocky humanoid form that is looming over the anvil, both of its fists resting on each side of the platform. You can see its trunk-like arms and legs are dark gray stone, and the head carries no face; it is a smooth absence of face. You can see red cables that dangle from the top and the back of the head that are then pulled together in the back like a ponytail, and around the center of its torso and its lower body, these extremely thick layers of leather wrap that makes a kilt that dangles past the knees of this giant stone structure which stands there looming over. In one of its hands you see a comparably small but impressive-looking hammer of gold and black that is currently chained to the platform. It's the one that isn't currently dangling off the side. It's in its hand and it's resting there. And you can see the heat emanating from both the pools of the molten rocks on the side of it and the flames behind. Most of the imagery is perpetually shifting and being altered by the sheer volume of heat that this chamber holds. This is apparently the Core Anvil, and whatever decor around it looks very intimidating. What do you want to do?

MARISHA: The humanoid figure doesn't seem to have noticed us? He's not moving?

MATT: It's not moving. It's standing there right at the platform.

LAURA: Over the anvil?

TRAVIS: Is that sound still happening?

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: And the figure is 20 feet fall, you said?

MATT: Yeah. You don't see the ceiling in here, because it's all filled with black smoke.

TRAVIS: Can we see the source of the sound? Can we see what's causing that yet?

MATT: You can't right now. It's behind that entity, and you see behind where the platform is, the darkened back portion of the chamber, these two flashes of spark and flame. As they do you see bursts of smoke and flame billow up and continue to fill and feed the ceiling.

MARISHA: I convey what I see. I think you might have a guardian you have to fight over that hammer, Grog.

LAURA: Oh no, again?

LIAM: I creep up past my sister and place a hand on his knee, which is in my fucking face.

MARISHA: If we can take 60 seconds, I back up into a corner and start casting Conjure Elemental and conjure another water elemental to be on our side, from the staff.

LAURA: Maybe he's a friendly giant, really creepy-looking entity.

MARISHA: Maybe he's the guy who tried to use the anvil before.

LAURA: Maybe he's the Allfather. Is that what he's called?

MATT: Allhammer.

TRAVIS: Well, look. Before we step into that arena, we control this space. How quick and quiet can you be, to see if he responds to your movement?

LIAM: I can get in there.

LAURA: In and out, super fast.

LIAM: Sure. You want me to get a look?

TRAVIS: Yeah. See if he reacts to you.

LAURA: Go up to him and go (taunting) and then dart back.

MARISHA: Hang on. We might want to be careful about getting too high. There's a lot of smoke in there; we don't want to suffocate.

SAM: That's the only time Marisha has ever said those words.

(laughter)

MARISHA: We're live on the fucking internet, Sam Riegel!

SAM: Hope your mom's watching.

LIAM: Thanks for watching everybody, that's the end of tonight's show. Oh my gosh.

MATT: What are you guys doing?

LIAM: Can you add any of your secret sauce to my sneaking?

MATT: You have to stay within a certain radius of her to get the effect.

LIAM: Never mind, I'll be fine.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do it. This is what you do.

LAURA: Just fly in really fast. Be creepy and quick.

LIAM: Do I need to do an additional stealth? Creepy is an automatic. It's a given.

MATT: Because this is heading into the chamber as opposed to just staying behind the platform, yes. You have to roll again.

LIAM: Okay. Natural 20.

TALIESIN: We don't even notice him leave.

MATT: So you head into the chamber. Okay. As you make your way inside, you look left and right and you can see the dark stonework begins to mingle with the metal and begins to go into the rough edges of the volcanic rock that it's built into. You see two large pillars to each side of you that have these red rocks embedded in the side that give this faint red glow that gives a hint of light to the chamber. There's the heat from the pools. The whole chamber in here is very uncomfortable for you. Thankfully, your armor giving you heat resistance does help a bit. You can see the anvil on top of the staircase on the raised platform and that large hulking entity that's looming over it at the moment.

LIAM: If he's here and I'm over here, can I fly up to there so I can see the front of him a bit? The angle of his face, if there is one?

MATT: He's facing out towards you.

LIAM: Never mind then. Shoot.

LAURA: You got fuzz on your face. Can I get it? No, you got it. It was right on his lip, so every time he talked--


LIAM: Nice.

MATT: So what are you doing?

TALIESIN: Be bold.

LIAM: Float in space and do that.

MATT: Okay. You fly up? That is *not* stealthy.

LIAM: No, from where I am. I'm not making noise, I'm not flying closer to him. I'm just doing this. Whatever you want to do.

MARISHA: I stealthily get his attention by waving my hand in his face.

MATT: There's a difference between you stalking off in the corner and flying up into the center to get a look and then seeing if it sees you. So what are you doing? You have to distinguish that.

LIAM: Okay. I'm going to fly back to the gang. Could you pick this fuzz off my face? I couldn't get it off the whole time, it just keeps re-affixing. I don't know. I flew in and out.

TALIESIN: We're going to have to get his attention somehow.

LAURA: It's got to be you, because you are so fast. If you get his attention you can dart out really fast.

LIAM: So what do we think we're doing here? Are we talking to this thing?

LAURA: Should we try talking to him?

TRAVIS: We might.

LAURA: Maybe it's better.

TALIESIN: It's a crazy plan, but it just might work.

LAURA: You can speak Celestial, too, right? You don't just read it.

TALIESIN: Gefülten. Yes, I speak Celestial.

(laughs)

TRAVIS: Oh man, Swedish Chef over here.

MATT: So we now have, as Exandria canon, that Celestial sounds like Swedish.

TALIESIN: You can bury that as deep as you want.

MATT: Thank you for that, Taliesin.

LAURA: I thought Celestial sounded more like Syngorn.

TALIESIN: Well, you know it's like a whole thing.

LIAM: Can I get another quick re-rundown of the room? So he was up at the top of the stairs, facing out, not moving and was there, was that wall behind him, or does it go further past him at all?

MATT: I'd say about 15 feet behind him you can see the occasional reflection of the flashes of light, where it looks to be that there is a wall behind him. There is an end to the chamber, but you are too far away and it's too obscured by smoke for you to know exactly what's behind him.

LIAM: And when I got in there, I didn't get close enough to see if there was any good hiding spots beyond him?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: 24.

Matt: 24. There are corners to the chamber, you as you fly up and glance you see two more small equal-sized pits of coals, behind him on either side and you do glance, two 20-foot-wide domed machines that you see the flame and the billowing smoke are being pushed out of. It's a weird engine-like structure with two of them behind it, that you can see the flames. (hammering) And that's where the sparks are shooting out each time.

LIAM: Do the talking thing, I'm going to go back in.

MARISHA: Before we start, how long has it been since we entered this chamber?

MATT: It's been about ten minutes.

MARISHA: Entered into the volcano.

MATT: Oh, into the volcano?

MARISHA: Yeah, entered into the first forge room. I'm trying to find out if Freedom of Movement is still on.

MATT: Okay, with all of the smelting, put together I'd say it's probably been close to an hour.

MARISHA: Can I only have one condition effect on him? Or can I stack them up?

MATT: You can have as many as you put on him. If they are not concentration, you can stack as many as you want.

MARISHA: Okay, Freedom of Movement is not. I'm going to cast Freedom of Movement on you again, and then I think Enhance Ability is, though, so I'm going to use my concentration to give you Cat's Grace, right? You were using, dexterity for the smelting?

TRAVIS: Yeah, on that one.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's going to be dex or strength.

MATT: For most blacksmithing, you gather that it will be dex or strength.

TRAVIS: Well, strength is way better than dex.

MARISHA: Then I'll give you Cat's Grace. You have advantage on dex checks.

LIAM: And DM. How long were we in this room?

MATT: In that room? Since you entered that chamber it's been about an hour.


LIAM: It's been an hour? My wings then are--

MATT: At this point, yeah, your wings have been dissipated.

TRAVIS: Percy, I'm not afraid go talk to this thing.

TALIESIN: In Celestial, I'm going to say hello. I'm going to say it out.

MATT: You shout it into the chamber?

TALIESIN: Hello? We come seeking the Allhammer. We need help. Vecna walks the earth again. We come seeking a way to defeat him once again.

LAURA: Tell him we were sent by Pelor.

TALIESIN: We come with the blessings of Pelor. And I'm going to start entering, very gingerly.

TRAVIS: I'm right behind you.

MATT: Okay. So Percival is entering--

LIAM: Actually, I'll throw out that I crept back in ahead of that, so in there, hiding.

LAURA: I'm floating behind him on a broom.

MATT: All righty. Scanlan, where are you coming in on this?

SAM: I will lag behind Grog.

MATT: So we have Percival walking in, and who is right behind Percival?

TALIESIN: Grog.

MATT: Grog, all righty. Scanlan right behind Grog.

LAURA: Does it have to be single file with this?

MATT: No, it doesn't.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to be back over to the side of Scanlan.

MATT: All right. Keyleth?

MARISHA: I'll take up the rears with my water elemental.

LAURA: The ground is still super duper hot, right?

MATT: The ground is, yes. All righty. So as you begin to enter the chamber and make your way towards the stairway and this central, raised platform with the two flaming pillars that flank it. Shouting this into the chamber, it echoes through, and you still hear the (hammering) each flash of light causes this faint glow across your faces and the faces of your companions as their shapes go from dark obscured in the shadow and smoke into a brief reveal of your form. As you begin to approach the stairs, you hear this faint grinding of stone as the faceless giant's head slowly looks up to face you. But that's all.

TALIESIN: I keep walking.

TRAVIS: Me, too.

MATT: Okay. As you guys continue to walk, you get to the bottom of the stairs, and you watch as one of its hands on the side that clutches the hammer unfurls and releases it and the hammer, once let go, swings, the chain going taut and it slams into the side of the raised platform out of sight and as it does, it stands up and rights itself, but its head is still looking down at you, Percival.

TALIESIN: We ask permission to use the anvil.

LAURA: Tell him, nod yes. Once for yes and shake his head no.

TRAVIS: How about this? I'm not afraid. If he takes offense, I'll take it better than most.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

MATT: So do you ascend the stairs?

TRAVIS: I am in the front now.

MATT: Grog has now moved to the front. All right. And you take your first couple of steps onto the stairs. As you do, the large stone entity spins around and steps into the smoke that obscures its shoulders--

LAURA: I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself one more time, while this is happening.

LIAM: I'm going to down a potion. And then a quick question, too. Hunter's Mark has a duration of an hour, but since that last battle lapsed, am I then not allowed to slide it to this guy?

MATT: No, it's gone now. It has been more time the process of smelting and then re-smelting and figuring out and adjusting everything, it has taken over an hour, sorry.

TRAVIS: Can I use my second wind? Just because.

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: Man, I could really use Spider Climb right now, goddamn it.

TRAVIS: Heal 13 points.

MATT: All righty. So as you continue to step up the stairs. Grog, as you approach, you get about a third of the way up there and you hear what sounds like heavy metal scraping against stone and one giant burst of sound. You watch as the giant figure shifts and turns back out of the smoke, holding across its front in one hand a large cleaver-like blade with runes glowing across the side of it. About 15 feet or so from end to end, and as it spins, it looks down towards you all and holds it in front, the flat end facing out towards you in a ceremonial way.

TALIESIN: What kind of runes?

MATT: Make an arcana check.

LAURA: Maybe if you use it the right way, it will be fine.

TALIESIN: 11.

MATT: You have no idea.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: Are they runes or a language? Is it a script?

MATT: These are specifically arcane runes of an enchantment-type nature. It's holding the blade out in front like that, clutching the handle on one side and putting its hand against the flat of the blade in the other.

TALIESIN: Do we have out bits of god?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We might want to have them available for the moment.

LAURA: Yeah. I take mine out of my pocket.

MATT: So you all go off to the top? You make it to the very top of the stairs, and there is the anvil there before you, and the heat you can feel. You know when you are close to an explosion and there is that brief minute of extremely uncomfortable heat that you flinch. It's that, perpetually and all of you are sweaty masses underneath your armor. You are afraid at certain points that your eyebrows are beginning to singe and curl. It's hard to breathe because the air is so hot and so thick, and occasionally you can't help but find yourself coughing at the caustic black smoke that fills a large portion of the chamber.

TRAVIS: I am constantly checking my beard.

MATT: Okay. As you approach the top of the stairs, the head looks down at you. What do you do?

TRAVIS: Am I standing at the anvil now?

MATT: You are standing right at the edge of the stairs, the very top of the platform, and the anvil is maybe five feet in front of you. You can see all the chains that are hanging on the side and dangling off the sides of the platform.

TRAVIS: Can I see where the chains are leading or are they just dangling off?

MATT: The platform is about 20 feet wide and so the chains that are all hooked at multiple places to the edges and the outside part of the anvil are taut and then dangling off the edge of the platform. So you can't see where it goes. You know one of them is the hammer, because that's what he let fly off the side.

TALIESIN: I kept track off which one was the hammer.

TRAVIS: Give me the platinum.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Well, put it together first, please. Thanks. With the platinum, I will approach the anvil.

MATT: Okay. You step up to the edge of the anvil. As it does, the blade tilts so that now, as opposed to the flat facing you, one of the two bladed edges is now--

TRAVIS: I stop.

LAURA: In your vision of how to do it, did you see this guy?

TRAVIS: Did I? No. Do I see any blacksmithing tools, anything that I would use to hammer this?

LAURA: The hammer that he let go of.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's hanging off?

MATT: You saw that, but you didn't get a great look at it by the time it was dropped of the side.

TRAVIS: Flat. Edge. That does feel like a ready, set.

LAURA and MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I take one step back.


MATT: The blade goes to a flat.

MARISHA: So next, after the edge, there is decapitation.

TRAVIS: I'm pretty sure that would be 150 points of damage.

LAURA: What if you go and try and pick up that hammer first? Do you need it?

TRAVIS: I am picturing the anvil right in front of me and he is off to the side, right?

MATT: The anvil is right in front of you. He is on the other side of the anvil. You only see the upper part of the torso because he is standing off the platform below. So you see him from the waist up; he's about 20 feet tall from top to bottom, you only see ten feet of his torso there. The blade is held out in front.

TRAVIS: And the hammer is somewhere between me and him?

MATT: Yeah. Make a perception check to see if you remember what chain it was.

TRAVIS: Seven.

MATT: There are four chains on each side dangling off the side, and you are not sure which one it is.

TRAVIS: Oh, it went hanging off.

MATT: Iit went hanging off the side, so now there are four chains that are taut on each side of the anvil that are vanishing.

TALIESIN: Is he another golem?

MATT: It looks to be a golem-like construct, yeah. You have seen golems and you have encountered golems before, and the constructs of them can vary. This one, elements of it have the same proportions of a golem, but there are elements that seem more human-like as opposed to an armored battering ram. The refined details of it-- no, your perception roll isn't high enough and you are too far off to make out any more of its form.

LAURA: Is his sword as big as our table is across?

SAM: Oh, what if we show him one of our little beans?

LAURA: Well, I pulled mine out.

SAM: Maybe you have to show him how good of a blacksmith you are to earn the privilege.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I've got to get to the anvil to do that.

MATT: Yeah, the blade in his hand, just the blade from hilt to end is about 15 feet long.

MARISHA: Scanlan, can you read the arcane runes on his sword? Do you know what this enchantment is?

SAM: I can certainly try.

MATT: Make an arcana check, Scanlan, as you glance over, stepping into the edge of the stairs.

MARISHA: Can I help him?

MATT: No, it's purely based on his knowledge.

LAURA: You've got this Scanlan! Come on!

SAM: This is arcana?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Come on, vacation Scanlan.

SAM: It's a 21.

MATT: 21. The runes across the blade specifically deal with cursing the physical form of what touches its blade.

TRAVIS: Shit. Okay, cool. Instead of walking towards the anvil, can I start walking to the right, towards one of those chains that's hanging out?

MATT: The chains are immediately to the left and right of the anvil, so if you go towards the chain you'd be stepping closer to the anvil, and as you turn to the side its head tracks you as you go.

TRAVIS: Is it tilting it down?

MATT: You haven't moved forward, so no.

TRAVIS: Okay. Can I keep moving in that direction?

MATT: Okay, you begin to step forward towards the chain. The blade comes down to a flat end towards you.

TRAVIS: I'll stop.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and sneak around the side of it. What's behind it?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: Okay. Glancing of what you can see through the smoke, you see the two pits of burning coals to the right and left of it with small steps that lead into the coals on both sides and you see the two edges of these large, cylindrical turbines of stone and metal where the impacts are and the flames flickering up.

TALIESIN: Are those bellows or is it more complicated?

MATT: You're not sure. A lot of it is obscured from the smoke that is spilling out of it and you are too far and the light is too dark in here, from that distance.

TALIESIN: What would happen if we put that machine out?

LAURA: Well, it's not like you can step up to the anvil before the metal is hot anyway, right? So maybe we're stepping up to the anvil too soon. Maybe you have to heat the metal first?

TALIESIN: I think that it feels like a guardian. What if we put the water elemental in the--

MARISHA: I was just going to say. I'm going to come into the room a little bit.

MATT: Okay. So you step in. Most of you are like at the base of the stairs. Grog is at the top of the stairs. Scanlan stepped up behind him to look at the runes on the blade. That is where you currently reside.

MARISHA: Is his eyesight still trained on Grog?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: I'm going to send my water elemental forward and see if it attracts its attention, since it's not a mortal.

MATT: Where do you send it?

MARISHA: Towards the anvil.

MATT: Okay. So you head up the stairs. The water elemental swarms around the side. You see wherever it moves forward there is steam pouring off from the heat of the ground and the surrounding metal and stone. As it comes up the steps, more and more steam (sizzling) emerging off the back of its body, it comes to the top and it's now next to Grog. You send it towards the anvil?

MARISHA: Yeah, but didn't Grog train to the right?

MATT: Grog stepped to the right and then began to step forward and then stopped.

MARISHA: Does the water elemental seem to be catching its attention at all, or is it still looking at Grog?

MATT: It's still looking at Grog.

MARISHA: Can I move the elemental to the left to see if it follows the elemental?

MATT: Okay, the elemental moves to the left. It doesn't follow the elemental.

LAURA: I wouldn't send him any closer to the anvil, though.

TRAVIS: Well, he might swing at the thing if it got closer.

MARISHA: That's what I was wondering.

LAURA: It might send him in attack mode.

TRAVIS: So unless we are short on ideas, we might have to starburst this thing. Scatter it.

SAM: Who forged here before? What god?

MATT: The Allhammer.

TRAVIS: Ioun helped, Pelor helped.

SAM: Well, should we show our god shit? Did we do that yet?

LAURA: Well, yeah, I'm going to fly up next to Grog, but I'm not going to go past him, and I'm going to hold up the little bead of power.

MATT: Okay. His attention focuses in between the two of you. Doesn't change his stance; the blade is still tilted down towards you.

LAURA: I'm going to step one step forward with it, no further than Grog stepped that first time.

MATT: Right, yeah. The blade is still turned towards you. Doesn't seem to react.

LAURA: All right, I back up. Fuck!

TRAVIS: You thinkers better think.

TRAVIS: I want to put the engineering behind it out. I want to put those pistons out.

MARISHA: But what if the pistons are fueling the fires, the forge?

TRAVIS: We still can't see what is sending up those?

MATT: You are not close enough, and you don't have a far enough view. It's blocking the bulk of it.

LAURA: I'm going to fly to the side against the wall.

TRAVIS: What about an oracle arrow?

LAURA: Yeah that is what I was going to do, so I could shoot it around.

MATT: Okay. So you fly of to the side of the chamber.

LAURA: Yeah and I am going to shoot an oracle arrow behind him to see like what is going on over there.

MATT: Okay. You go and fire the arrow just past him. As you do, his head darts with the speed of the arrow as it clacks against the back of the wall. Without even looking towards you, this hand releases the blade and the blade swings a wide arc about a foot above your head, Grog. (whoosh) Slams something in the back of the wall out of sight. You hear what sounds like a heavy chain snapping and falling to the ground and the wall behind you where you entered the chamber (crash) slams shut. As you all hear the sound and take in the scenery, you watch as it retracts the blade into an offensive position, and we're going to take a break. We'll be back here in just a moment, guys. We have a giveaway.

LAURA: I wasn't even shooting at him!

LIAM: That's all right. We did our due diligence. We poked it and we prodded it.

MATT: This is a big package going out to a bunch of folks there. It's the complete black poisonwood set, which is awesome. It's the tray, the vault, the dice tower. Oh god, it's all falling. It might be a little broken; I apologize in advance.

SAM: It smells of coffee.

MATT: Exactly. That's what it looks like. It's going to be signed by the cast for you. So to be entered in that giveaway, come into the Twitch chat over the break, and the keyword is going to be tarot. T-A-R-O-T. So yeah, we'll all be back here in a few minutes, guys. Enjoy your break, and we'll see you in a minute.

Break[]

[break]

Part II[]

MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome back to Critical Role. So! First and foremost, our winner in the chat of the awesome collection of various Wyrmwood collectables is ProfessorJedi. Congratulations, ProfessorJedi. Danoba will contact you and get your information to get those to you ASAP. So congrats.

MARISHA: Also, I've been flooded with tweets on where I got this shirt.

LIAM: It's the best shirt.

TALIESIN: That's the one I was wearing yesterday.

MARISHA: You were wearing it yesterday? The amazing Whitney Moore made it.

LIAM: This very shirt? This one?

TALIESIN: A more masculine cut of this exact shirt. Not that exact shirt, but another one very similar to it.

MARISHA: Although we do have a few shirts that we share and trade off.

LAURA: Tell us where to get it.

MARISHA: For Human Peoples! I just tweeted it out.

TALIESIN: You can get a pin, you can get a hoodie, you can get any form you want.

LIAM: I know you, so I'll ask you later, too.

MARISHA: Yeah, okay.

MATT: All right, then. so last we left off, you had made your way into the chamber that holds the Core Anvil beneath the underwater volcano of Scaldseat. Upon approaching the central risen platform where the anvil was, some stone-build guardian that loomed over it, upon approaching and testing the boundaries, and unintentional firing of an arrow in the vicinity seemed to have triggered an aggressive stance, and the entity seemed to be on the assault. So now, with the chamber there before you, I would like you all to take stock on your current positions and roll initiative.

LIAM: He's going to hit you like he is at a driving range!

TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah, like tee-ball.

MARISHA: I'm also rolling for my elemental.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's really unfortunate. I get advantage on those, and that was terrible.

MATT: All righty. So 25 to 20?

TALIESIN: 24.

LIAM: 20. Jeez.

MATT: All righty. 20 to 15?

TRAVIS: 20 to 15? For the love of god?

MATT: Okay. 15 to ten?

LAURA: 14.

SAM: 12.

MARISHA: 11 for my elemental.

TALIESIN: What?

MARISHA: 11 for my elemental.

TALIESIN: You're not? Okay.

MATT: Ten to five?

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Six.

TALIESIN: Oh. Six?

LAURA: We are fucked!

MATT: Top of the round. As the large forge guardian stands with its giant rune blade before it, Percival. You're up first. What are you doing?

LAURA: Make peace!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: When the DM smirks like that.

TALIESIN: I'm going to bake a pie and deliver it-- okay, I'm going to run back towards that red crystal.

MATT: This one?

TALIESIN: Yep. I run that direction, and then I'm going to use my bonus action to do that. I'm going to hold my attack until his attack.

MATT: Okay. Good to know. All right, that ends Percival's turn, holding his action to attack when it attacks. Vax, you're up.

LIAM: Oh jeez. You know what, I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to run over right next to Keyleth.

MATT: All righty. 20, 25, 30. That's about as far as you can get on regular movement.

LIAM: Right. I know what I want to do here. Is Percy within 30 feet of me?

MATT: Percy is, yes.

LIAM: Okay. I'm going to cast Bless on Scanlan, Keyleth, and Percy.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: What does that do?

LAURA: Obviously doesn't give a shit about me any more.

MARISHA: Well, you stole the boots.

LAURA: I gave them back!

LIAM: You're so capable. You bless up to three creatures of your choice within range. Whenever a target makes an attack roll or a saving throw before this spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number. So you three.

MARISHA: Attack roll or saving throw?

MATT: Yes, you can add a d4 to it. Your movement and your action?

LIAM: That's my action. I have a bonus action. This is an intimidating map, Matt. I am going to roll backward and sit underneath my sister and her judgemental arse.

MATT: Okay. So you're going to dash over under her?

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: Top of my turn, I'm going to fart.

MATT: (chuckles) It's how she propels the broom.

MARISHA: It immediately catches your butt on fire because we're surrounded by methane gas. You take four damage.

LAURA: And you're on fire.

MARISHA: And you're on fire, yeah.

TALIESIN: This is really intimidating. The crystals are glowing, and it makes me unhappy. Is your crystal red, too?

(gasping)

TALIESIN: No! Not cool.

LAURA: He can walk! He can move!

MATT: Steps, leaps--

LIAM: Fuck yourself! Wow!

MATT: It lands in the center.

TRAVIS: Look at him winding up. This is awful.

MATT: With his legs down, straddling the two sides of this, and he's going to go into a blade storm, and spins around in a wide arc.

TALIESIN: Okay. So if he's going to do this, I was holding my attack. I'm taking my attack now right before this happens. He has no face, does he?

MATT: Currently, you do not see a face, no.

TALIESIN: There's no face. So if I were to make a head attack, that would probably be really goddamn useless. One way to find out.

MARISHA: Well, he has a head. You can have a face and not a head.

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Maybe it's a mask.

LAURA: Maybe it's an illusion.

TALIESIN: Fire a grit.

MARISHA: Did you custom mess with this figure? You did, didn't you?

MATT: Just to cover the face.

TALIESIN: To hide his shame. Do I add the d4 to this, if I so am inclined?

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: And I can do it every time?

MATT: Every attack, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh wow, this is so nuts. So first attack. Out of curiosity, does it keep my misfire? Does it knock me out of misfire, technically?

MATT: It's still rolling on the d20.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it. Okay. Let's put that away, then, and let's take some psychic damage, because that's funny. Oh, that's great. Okay.

MATT: Nine points of psychic damage.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so 142, that's cool. Ow. I'm going to put that down and get a bigger gun and try that again. And that blows that grit, as well. Much better! No, it's not. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. It's just doing it. Never mind. I'm going to blow the rest of it and spend the end of my turn trying to fix one of my guns really quickly, and do a quick clear-out. Which is 12 versus misfire on the psychic. And I do!

MATT: You manage to clear the weapon.

TALIESIN: I cleared Animus. Bad News is still out of commission. And that's my turn. I'm done.

MATT: So as the blade storm, it does a large sweep all the way around it with the blade, hitting everything within 15 feet of it.

SAM: Is it an automatic hit, or is it something I can do Cutting Words on?

MATT: It's a roll to hit, but Cutting Words would affect a single attack against any individual. Yeah, because each attack roll is separate, so it would affect one of the attack rolls.

SAM: Well, I will Cutting Words it for my attack. No, he's going to hit me no matter what. Who's in the path?

MATT: Well, let's find out first. So it's going to be Vex, Vax, Scanlan, and Grog. And then Keyleth and Percy are out of range, as well as the elemental. So against Vex that is a 17.

LAURA: Doesn't hit.

MATT: Doesn't it, and you dodge out of the way. For Vax, 17.

LIAM: Nope.

MATT: Rolled two threes in a row. Striking around to Grog, that is a 24.

TRAVIS: That'll hit. Can I try my parry maneuver?

MATT: What does the parry do?

TRAVIS: It uses your dex modifier plus the--

LAURA: Sup dice? He really wrote sup dice.

MATT: Yes, you can, to reduce the attack by your superiority dice plus your dexterity modifier. Yep.

TRAVIS: I'm going to try. Seven plus two. Nine?

MATT: So you would take 37 points of slashing damage, but instead you take nine away. That would be 28. So you get 28 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: I'm not raging.

TALIESIN: And you took 28 points.

MATT: And you are pushed 15 feet away. You are now right off, you knocked over the side. You get knocked prone off onto the edge of the platform there, almost catching yourself before rolling off the side of the platform.

LIAM: It's so exciting!

MATT: Scanlan, that is a natural two. That's a 16 to hit.

SAM: I will hit, but I will do my Cutting Words.

MATT: Okay, so roll a d12.

SAM: Okay, a d12. I rolled a nine.

MATT: Okay, so that will miss you. As it swings toward you, what do you do?


SAM: I will quote Dr. Smith again and I will yell at him: you are a tiresome, tin-plated, tintinnabulation.

MATT: The second construct you've bruised the ego of today. I need you to make a constitution saving throw, Grog.

TRAVIS: Okay. 18, with a minus two.

MATT: 18? No. Your vision fades as the curse takes hold. You are considered blinded at the moment.

TRAVIS: Okay. Anybody else? Lights out for anyone else?

MATT: And that's its turn. Vex you're up.

TRAVIS: No big deal.

LAURA: Oh jeebies. Oh! I can use disengage! So he doesn't hit me! I'm going to move away from him.

MATT: Okay, where do you move?

LAURA: All the way across, over here.

MATT: Well your movement with your broom is? How fast is your broom?


LAURA: I don't remember because I don't have the thing anymore.

MATT: (heavy sigh)

LAURA: I know, Matthew! I think it's 40. Probably.

MATT: Broom of Flying: 50 feet.

LIAM: Wow, that's fast!

MATT: Look at that. Analog!

LAURA: 50 feet. I'm writing it down right now, okay?

MATT: You can get right over right above where Percival is. So that's your bonus attack to disengage, your movement to get there. What are you doing now?

LAURA: I'm going to attack him.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: That dice attacked me while I rolled it. A 23.

MATT: 23 misses.

TALIESIN: What?!

TRAVIS: 23 misses?

MATT: Yeah. You strike the armor on the side of its body, and the arrow disintegrates on impact. You see bits of it catch flame from the nearby heat.

LAURA: Oh lord. Okay. I thought because he was big, maybe. Is he covered head to toe in armor?

MATT: It's made of solid stone with pieces of metal armor around the body.

LAURA: Great. Okay, so I'm going to attack him again but in his neck. Oh, that's good. That probably hits. 18 plus 14.

MATT: That'll hit, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, I didn't want to do that math. (counting) Do I get sneak attack?

MATT: He is in base to base with your brother, so yes.

LAURA: Wait, that's lightning. One extra lightning damage and then nine sneak attack.

MATT: Okay, so the total on that is?

LAURA: 17 plus nine is 27.

MATT: 26, yeah.

LAURA: Plus one lightning damage, so it's 27.

MATT: Right, there you go. All right, cool. The first arrow shatters, the second one you manage to strike and it embeds itself in the stone, and sticking out. It's hard to see if it had made much of an impact. That ends you turn, and that brings us to Scanlan.

SAM: Me? Oh Jesus. This thing's big and scary.

MATT: You're on the top of the staircase next to the water elemental and Grog, who's currently on the ground screaming that he's blind. The entity is about 15 feet away from you. You're just out of range of its blade, and it's an intimidating thing to have that close to you

SAM: Yeah! Of course it is! I'm not dumb. Super intimidating! So how far is he from me?

MATT: He's about 16 feet from you. You're just out of range of the blade. Well, no. Actually, because it did hit you, so on the edge of there, you are within 15 feet of him, yeah.

SAM: Okay, not knowing what to do, I will (raspberry). I'm looking at my spells; I've got nothing. I will blast him with a Lightning Bolt, a level three Lightning Bolt.

MATT: Level three Lightning Bolt. Okay, so roll 8d6 points of damage.

SAM: You know what, I'll do level four, so 9d6, I suppose.

MATT: All righty, so that is a natural 20. So that's advantage on the saving throw. However, its dexterity bonus is nothing. It's a straight 20. Your spell DC?

SAM: 22.

MATT: 22, so it does not make the save.

SAM: So it's 34 points of damage.

MATT: 34 points of lightning damage to it. The bolt hits it and seems to arc through, and its faceless head slowly shifts to face you.

SAM: Jesus. I'm within melee range of him, so if I move I will get hit, yes?

MATT: If you move out of his melee range, you will, yes.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: You'll get attacked. Doesn't mean you'll get hit.

SAM: Grog, you're okay, right?

TRAVIS: I'm blind! It's very hot!

SAM: What?

TRAVIS: It's very hot! On the ground, and I'm blind!

SAM: I don't know what to do about you, I'm sorry! I'll inspire you, I guess, right? Because you don't need health?

TRAVIS: Yeah, great, thanks!

SAM: (laughs) Sorry! All right, I'll inspire him, I suppose.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Sorry, Grog.

TRAVIS: What do you sing?

SAM: Oh, sorry. I will pick up my flute and I will sing: (singing) You like it when my flute goes, baby make your booty glow, Scanlan know you want to show my song, song, song, song, song.

TRAVIS: Is that Sisqó?!

MATT: Take your d12. All righty. That's your bonus, your action, and are you going to stay where you are or are you going to move?

SAM: Yeah, I'm going to stay where I am.

MATT: Okay. Ending that turn, it comes to the elemental. Actually, no. At the end of Scanlan's turn, it's going to go ahead and use a legendary action to make a rune blade strike against Vax, who's right in front of him. That's a 22 to hit.

LIAM: And this is a straight-up attack. Yeah, I believe that hits. Yes, it does.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Wait. I'll use my last luck of the day on him, and he has to reroll.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Wait.

LIAM: Wait.

MATT: That is a 19.

LIAM and MATT: No.

(cheering)

TRAVIS: Well done!

MATT: So as the blade arcs overhead towards you, you barely duck out of the way. It slams on the ground, sending shards of stone and metal up in the air around you. You feel it rain over your shoulder and the back of your head as you slowly pull away from it. All righty, now it is the elemental's turn.

MARISHA: Okay it is going to move over to him. And he's bigger than large, so he's going to do a multiattack. He's going to do two slam attacks. Plus seven to hit. (groans) One's a natural one; the other is a natural 18. So one hits. 2d8 plus four bludgeoning damage.

MATT: What's the attack? 18 plus?

MARISHA: 18 plus seven.

MATT: Okay, so it would be 25? That hits. Are the creature's attacks considered magical?

MARISHA: They're two bludgeoning attacks.

MATT: Nowhere on there does it say it does magical damage?

MARISHA: It says bludgeoning damage.

MATT: Okay. So as the elemental swings out both fists against it, no effect. None of its attacks seem to have any effect or impact on the creature. It's like bludgeoning the side of a mountain.

TALIESIN: Okay. Good to know.

MARISHA: And he doesn't seem to be distracted or give two shits about him.

MATT: Not at the moment, no.

MARISHA: Okay. Cool.

TALIESIN: There's a lot of fires to put out, I guess.

MARISHA: Yeah. You know, I'm keep him on standby in case people catch on fire.

MATT: (laughs) Okay. That ends the elemental's turn, then? Grog and Keyleth, you're up.

MARISHA: What did you find out?

TRAVIS: How about you go first?

MARISHA: Okay. I'm going to do 9th-level Shapechange and take a cue from Scanlan and turn into a planetar.

LIAM: Ooh! Do you have a big dick, too?

SAM: You can do that?

MARISHA: Yes I can. With Shapechange. Right? It is a challenge rating that I can do, right? Planetars?

MATT: Yeah, you can.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You lose concentration on the elemental.

MARISHA: That's fine.

TALIESIN: Not like he was really--

MARISHA: Doing much.

MATT: But the elemental stays and is now hostile to you.

MARISHA: Right. Can't dissipate him or anything?

MATT: I'm the worst!

TALIESIN: I was going to say, can you dissipate it?

MARISHA: Not really.

TALIESIN: Oh. That's okay.

MATT: So the planetar size is large. We'll say for the purposes once again of this week, we'll use Doty as the planetar, so there you are.

LAURA: But he says it in Swedish.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Dooty.

MATT: Your wings extend. You are now in the planetar form.

MARISHA: Okay. I'm going to go up to Grog and do Healing--

MATT: Well, your action is to cast the spell.

MARISHA: (groans) So I can't do anything else?

MATT: No, Shapechange takes an action to make the transformation. Next turn you can take your action.

LAURA: It's okay. That's great. Grog definitely won't fall in the lava on his turn.

MARISHA: I was going to say, can I at least go up to him and grab onto Grog's loincloth to make sure his ass doesn't tumble into the lava?

MATT: You could certainly try.

TALIESIN: You could kind of do that.

SAM: Loin-grab.

MATT: So we'll say for the purposes of this, you glide over, and you're now flying up next to Grog on the edge of the platform. There you go.

LAURA: To keep him from wandering off.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. That ends your turn. Grog?

TRAVIS: Cool. Can I use my action to get up from being prone. Half my movement, sorry. Onto one knee. In my mind because I can't see! And can I hold my action until I can see again or until it's my turn?

MATT: It's your turn.

TRAVIS: Until I can see again.

TALIESIN: You don't get to save against this, does he?

MATT: No. Nope. All right. So that ends Grog's turn, holding his action.

TRAVIS: Crouched, so both hands are on the ground.

MATT: Okay. At the end of your turn, it's going to use another legendary action to take another swing at the slippery little rogue paladin on the ground that it can't seem to hit. Natural one. Jesus Christ. Okay. That'll be the end of that luck.

LIAM: That demigod does not exist in this universe.

MATT: Percival, your turn.

TALIESIN: So first thing I'm going to do is get a quick little heal bonus going, because why not. Let's do a heal. So that's 14 points up, so I'm 156. A little bit better, and that's my heal. I'm noticing that this thing's only taking magic damage. The hammer it dropped is underneath the planetar right now, right?

MATT: It is currently dangling off the side, along with other series of tools: tongs and other smaller blacksmithing accoutrements.

TALIESIN: I'm going to run in that direction.

MATT: Okay. Five, ten, 15, 20. Another step, and you're starting to hit the molten metal and rock.

TALIESIN: Molten metal and rock? I can't jump that, can I?

MATT: You can try, yeah. Make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: Not an acrobatics check, I take it?

MATT: Not for the leap.

TALIESIN: But there are chains that I can reach there?

MATT: If you're leaping towards the chains you can attempt to grab it, yeah.

TALIESIN: Well, I'm going to attempt to the grab the hammer.

MATT: Okay. Are you using it to swing, or are just trying to grab and hold on?

TALIESIN: If it's available for a swing, I'll try for a swing.

MATT: Okay, I'll give you advantage if you're going for the chain, then, as you're swinging across it. Go for it.

TALIESIN: Roll with advantage? Athletics?

MATT: Athletics.

MARISHA: Please don't fucking fall in lava.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: Percival runs, swings across, and I'll move this a bit.

LIAM: Oh, the golem is dead.

MATT: Percival barely makes it across. (grunts) If you let go of the chain, you'll land. If you hold on to it you'll dangle and swing in the center.

TALIESIN: This is the hammer chain?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So am I touching the hammer right now? But it's not a magic hammer, it's just a really nice hammer.

MATT: You grab it. You can take a moment to look at it next round, if you want to.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to take a moment to look at it. I've got an action, still.

MATT: Do you want to do that, then?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll use my action to admire the hammer.

MATT: Okay. Make a arcana check. As you're clutching the hammer now, it's dangling down, and you're holding onto it. And the heat is burning from underneath you, and you can see the (bubbling noises).

TALIESIN: No. I have an arcana of seven.

MATT: Seven. You're distracted by everything going on around you and the heat in your face. You can see it above you, the black and gold scrolling on it. It looks beautiful, but you can't make out any more details than that, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it. Okay, I'm hopping off, then.

MATT: You swing back, you swing, and then you land. We'll say because you rolled a natural 20, I'll let you do that.

TALIESIN: Yeah, all right. I'm over there, hiding. Fuck.

MATT: Okay, that ends Percy's turn. At the end of Percy's turn, it's going to use its third and final--

LIAM: Damn it. What? Where did the big guy go? There he is!

SAM: He's trying to kill the cricket.

MATT: You did it? Good job.

LAURA: It shut him up for a little bit.

LIAM: Can't get the golem, but you can get the cricket.

MATT: (laughs) Well done. Right, at the end of Percival's turn, it's going to use its third and final legendary action to try and get that hit on you. Natural 20.

(groaning)

TRAVIS: Oh my god, really?

LIAM: Making up for the last time. Fine, give it to me.

LAURA: No, can you uncanny dodge?

LIAM: I can uncanny dodge, yes.

LAURA: Don't you have another thing?

LIAM: Just uncanny dodge, so maybe I can cancel out his doubling. Yeah. Uncanny dodge halves the attack, so it'll be right where it's supposed to be.

TALIESIN: Technically, it'll lower slightly lower than where it's supposed to be, because it doesn't just halve the doubling of the dice.

MATT: 57 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Uncanny dodge.

MATT: All right, reduce that. 28 points of damage and your vision goes dark.

LAURA: Oh no. Wait, don't you have to roll the constitution?

MATT: That's true. Roll constitution save.

LIAM: Not good. 14.

MATT: Your vision goes dark. It hits you, and you hit the ground, and the sheer-- the searing pain hits your body, and as you get up. It feels like all the smoke fills your vision. All you see are occasional flashes of red, almost like you're surrounded by a miniaturised electrical storm, and you have no idea what's around you.

MARISHA: So he's blind?

MATT: You're considered blind for the moment, yes. It's your turn.

LIAM: Okay, I would like to cast Vow of Enmity on this dick, which will put me at regular, because I would get advantage versus the disadvantage of blindness, so now I'm at regular.

LAURA: Is it a visual spell?

MATT: That's what I'm checking right now.

LIAM: Oh, wow. I've got it here.

MARISHA: Yeah, spellcasting's a bitch.

MATT: Vow of Enmity. Creature you can see within ten feet of you. You can't currently see it.

TRAVIS: Shit, y'all. Fuck.

LIAM: Okay. Instead, I'll use my bonus action to cast Hunter's Mark.

MATT: You need--

LIAM: Visual on that as well? Okay, got it, never mind. It's not his turn yet, wow. Okay, I'm going to use my bonus action to disengage. I can move five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30. And I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, there. And that's it, I'm fucking blind and I ran because I can't see shit. Done.

MATT: All right, that ends your turn. It's now its turn. It gets its legendary actions back

LAURA: Guys, this is bad. We haven't actually done anything to him, have we? No, I got an arrow on him.

TALIESIN: You got an arrow, which probably didn't do any physical--

LAURA: It was a magical arrow.

MATT: See if it gets its blade storm back. Nope.

TRAVIS: Probably should have cast the mansion before we started.

TALIESIN: We can still do that.

TRAVIS: It takes a minute to cast.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MARISHA: We can make this work.

LAURA: We can't even run away.

LIAM: He's coming to finish me off. Look at this motherfucker!

LAURA: He's going to kill all of us, dude. He can get all of us in a circle. Everybody.

MARISHA: I lost control of my elemental.

MATT: Here's what it's going to do. Because you ran off. It hit you; it's not even focused on you. The head turns and looks towards you, Vex'ahlia. It's going to make a rune blade attack against you. Oh jeez. That is a 17.

LAURA: Doesn't hit.

MATT: Jesus Christ, it has rolled so many twos and threes, then 20. It swings and you dodge out of the way. However, hearing the scream of a gnome behind him, without even looking, it back-kicks behind him with its foot.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh my god.

MATT: That is going to be a 21, Scanlan.

SAM: Oh, yeah, of course.

MATT: All right, so you take 23 points of bludgeoning damage and you are pushed 15 feet away from him and knocked prone.

LAURA and MARISHA: No!

MATT: I need you to make a dexterity saving throw, Scanlan.

LIAM: Hey, you're blessed, so add 1d4.

SAM: Oh yeah, that's right. Okay, that's terrible.

LIAM: Plus 1d4.

SAM: So I've already rolled a 13, plus a d4. This is not going to go well, is it? d4 is another one. That's 14.

LAURA: Can you inspire yourself?

SAM: What?

LIAM and LAURA: Inspire yourself.

SAM: This is not a check; it's a save.

MATT: Well, let me double check on that for your bardic ability. And how many more bardic inspirations do you have at this point, by the way?

SAM: I've only used two.

MATT: You've used Cutting Words, you've inspired Keyleth, and you've inspired Grog.

SAM: Oh, Cutting Words counts? Then I've used four so far, and I have two more to go.

MATT: Two more to go. And as far as your peerless skill, you can add it to any ability check, yeah, so not a save, unfortunately.

SAM: All right, bye guys.

MATT: What was the total?

SAM: 14.

TALIESIN: Is that including your dex save?

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

MATT: Scanlan gets pushed off the edge and falls prone (sizzling) into the molten metal below.

TALIESIN: Oh man. This is so bad.

TRAVIS: That's a lot of dice he's picking up.

MATT: You're on fire.

SAM: Sure, sure.

TRAVIS: Feel like you're filling a playground with gravel right now. I feel like he's playing putt putt golf with us.

LIAM: Well, he's strung us along on several battles to get all of our juice out.

MARISHA: Yeah, he really has. We need to rest.

MATT: You take 53 points of fire damage, Scanlan, as you are currently now partially submerged in molten metal and screaming in horrible pain.

LIAM: Man. Well, it sucks, doesn't it, buddy?

SAM: But with vibrato.

MATT: That's going to end its turn. Vex, you're up.

LAURA: Great. I'm going to disengage.

MATT: Okay, so you use your bonus action to disengage. Where are you going?

LAURA: I'm going to go over to Grog.

MATT: All right, so you fly over, and where are you going?

LAURA: I'm going to fly next to him and I'm going to touch him and I'm going to cast Lesser Restoration on him.

MATT: Okay. You use your action to cast Less Restoration. So the Lesser Restoration affects--

LAURA: Heals blindness and deafness.

LIAM: Good, go to the 250 hit point guy. Good call.

LAURA: He needs to be able to fucking see so he can smith while we're trying to distract this fucker.

MATT: The blindness fades as she touches you. Your vision comes back.

TRAVIS: Cool. Oh, right, then I held my action for that.

LAURA: Yeah, that's the thing, he was holding.

TRAVIS: Should I try and smith?

TALIESIN: Here's the question. I should know this: how quickly can these things be made?

MATT: Well, to be honest, the process of each trammel is going to be a 15-minute process. You can't hyper-smith in the middle of battle.

(groaning)

LAURA: Well. Okay. Do I have any movement left?

MATT: That's 15 minutes if it's a straight multiple people helping circumstance.

LAURA: Do I have any more movement left?

MATT: Not really. You had to go over an arc to get there.

TALIESIN: You could grab the hammer.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but what purpose would it serve?

TALIESIN: I don't know. Maybe it's a control hammer. I don't know. I'm grasping at fucking straws here.

MATT: Vex?

LAURA: That's my last level two that I cast.

TRAVIS: I could try.

TALIESIN: You've got actions.

LAURA: Great, so I don't have any more Lesser Restorations. I can cast it at a higher level, maybe.

MARISHA: You also still have Freedom of Movement on you. You don't have anything else at all; I got lost concentration. But you do have Freedom of Movement mind you.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Grabbing that hammer is definitely an option.

LAURA: I don't know why you would grab the hammer.

TRAVIS: Maybe he'd stop moving if I grabbed the hammer?

MATT: Vex, is that all you're doing this turn?

LAURA: I mean that's all I can do. That's my action, my bonus, and my movement.

MATT: Yep, all right, so Scanlan.

TRAVIS: Oh, but I held my action until I had sight.

MATT: Correct, you have sight now. What are you going to attack? Because you can't move, it's just your action.

TRAVIS: You're on the hammer, aren't you?

TALIESIN: I let go.

TRAVIS: Shall I try pulling up the hammer and see if that does something? Okay, I'll try and pull the chain up to grab the hammer.

MATT: Technically, when you're holding your action to do something, like an attack, you can only do that because it's a reaction, a very quick thing. Basically, as soon as you get your vision you're like, (panting).

TRAVIS: I will rage, and that's it.

MATT: I'll let you rage on that, sure.

MARISHA: Can he attack the elemental that's now rogue across from him?

MATT: He's not within range, unfortunately. It's across the way .

TRAVIS: Can I turn around and look, now that I'm right up next to the Core Anvil, is there anything that I'm noticing about it that would move or knock off? A switch or a button?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Doesn't look like a flipping anvil. Yeah, okay, cool. That's a two.

LIAM: This is such a shit-show! Love it!

MATT: It looks like an anvil, a beautiful anvil, a primal built, ageless anvil.

TRAVIS: I never see shit!

LIAM: Hey, that's my magic trick!

MATT: All right, so Scanlan. You're currently submerged in molten metal, screaming, on fire. Your turn begins and you take six points of fire damage. You're prone and sinking into it. What are you doing?

LAURA: You should probably get out, right?

SAM: I guess, yeah, probably. (laughs) I will, I guess, save my life and Dimension Door out of there.

MATT: Okay, you Dimension Door out of the lava?

SAM: Yes, please. I have no other options.

MATT: You can walk out of it. You're right next to the edge.

SAM: Oh, I'm next to the edge?

MATT: Yeah, you could pull yourself out of it.

SAM: Oh. Well, I'll try that first with my movement, I guess, right?

MATT: Yeah, with your movement you get out. You're ten feet out of it. You're on fire still, but you're no longer melting in the lava. You're hurt, but you turn the corner and you can see the giant guardian that is now currently facing off with the rest of your allies on the other side of the platform in the far corner of the room. You're staring at its back. What are you doing?

SAM: Oh boy. I wasn't expecting to attack this turn.I'll do the lightning again because it seemed to have some damage. No, you know what? We've got to block his sword, right? Shit. I will Bigby's Hand and try to grapple his sword.

MATT: Okay, you're doing another Bigby's Hand? And you'll attempt to grapple his sword?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: I don't know if that's going to work at all.

MATT: Well, let's give it a shot. Bigby's Hand moves over here.

LIAM: Oh, he's dead! He's dead, Matt. Game over.

MATT: If we go by that tactic, Bigby's Hand's dead. You've all died. I'll put him there. Percival has been dead for a long time. We'll put that there. That's good. There you go. All right.

LAURA: I want to try to move Bigby's Hand to hold on to his arm. Can I try it?

MATT: If you want to. Grasping Hand?

SAM: I guess. This is supposed to be against a creature not against an item.

MATT: Right, I'm letting you do this, though. It's fine. It makes sense. It's big enough. Make an athletics check, using the strength of Bigby's Hand, which is a plus eight. Roll a d20 and add eight to it.

SAM: It's a 19.

LIAM: Blessed! Hashtag blessed!

SAM: 19.

TALIESIN: Plus a d4.

SAM: Plus three, so that's 22.

MATT: 22. It rolled a 19.

(cheering)

MATT: It is grappling the blade. What that means is, for the purposes of this, all of its attacks are at disadvantage until it can break free from Bigby holding the blade.

LIAM: Bigby's Hand!

MATT: That's your turn, unless you want to use a bonus action for something.

SAM: I will use a bonus action to level two Healing Word myself.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: I will sing, (singing) I'm freaked out by the shape of me! I'm burned up and nobody can see. So you know what I'll do to thee? Give some health to my body. (vocalizing)

(laughter)

MATT: Damn it, Sam. Take your 2d4 plus six. Finishing that out, it is the elemental's turn.

MARISHA: He is slowly steaming away, right, because it's so hot?

MATT: You're not going to rules-lawyer me out of the elemental.

(laughter)

MATT: It makes a slam attack against both Vex and Grog. Vex, that's a 15 plus seven, 22. And Grog, that's a 17 plus seven, 24. What's the bludgeoning damage from the elemental?

MARISHA: It's 2d8 plus four.

MATT: Vex, you take 15 points of bludgeoning damage. Grog, you take 11 points of bludgeoning, reduced to five.

LIAM: Where you at, big guy?

TRAVIS: 190.

MATT: Grog and Keyleth. Your turn. Keyleth, you now have complete control of your form.

MARISHA: Now people know why I don't conjure that many elementals. I'm going to go fly away, since Grog is now fine. Go over to my boyfriend. Would it be part of my movement to grab him and pull him away a little bit, and then can I still have an action, or would that be my action?

MATT: No, that would be your action.

MARISHA: Then I'm going to fly by and do a Healing Touch on you. You get 6d8 plus three hit points and you are freed from your blindness.

LIAM: Oh, I love you so much!

LAURA: That's amazing! Hey, Scanlan, you should have done that before. That would have been really cool.

LIAM: Holy shit!

MARISHA: 12 plus four, 15. No, 16. Plus another three brings us to 19. Plus another four brings us to 22. 23. And then a three brings us to 26 hit points and you are cleared from your blindness. Can I use the rest of my fly speed of 120 feet like my boyfriend to then fly away?

MATT: Certainly. Which direction?

MARISHA: I want to go back and over on this side. Yeah, a little bit closer. Yeah.

MATT: You fly over. As you swing, it glances in your direction and with a reaction, gets an attack of opportunity on you with disadvantage. That's 20. What's your armor class in the planetar form?

LIAM: Captain Planet AC is 29.

MARISHA: 19, so it hits me.

LIAM: Hashtag blessed, though!

MARISHA: I am blessed!

MATT: Doesn't add to your armor class. It's attacks and saving throws. It's a level one spell, guys. It hits you. You take... 42 points of slashing damage, and I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: You can't be blinded as a planetar, can you?

MATT: You are not immune to blindness as a planetar.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

LAURA: There's no way to run away from him. We have to either defeat him or find a way to disengage him.

MARISHA: Is it con as me or con as the dude?

TRAVIS: There are four chains hanging off of the thing, and we all know the hammer is attached to one.

TALIESIN: The rest are other tools.

MARISHA: Do I take my planetar's constitution?

MATT: Yes. That's plus seven.

MARISHA: That's cool, but then I still have my war caster ability, too, right? I have advantage?

MATT: No, that's against concentration, so you will have to do that in a second, but first, this is to see if you go blind or not. This is a curse effect.

TRAVIS: Don't they have truesight and stuff?

MARISHA: I do have truesight as a planetar. It is pretty good, so that's 27.

MATT: 27? Okay. You resist the blindness. However, now half that damage.

MARISHA: You said 42?

MATT: So half of that is 21, so DC 21. Make a constitution saving throw with advantage.

TALIESIN: With a d4.

MARISHA: I'm good. 17 plus my constitution?

MATT: Yeah, you're fine. So you maintain concentration on your form. Perfect. That finishes Keyleth's turn. Grog, what are you doing?

TRAVIS: Yeah. It's hammer time. I'm going to run down here-- five, ten, 15-- right there, to this side.

MATT: Perfect, you can get up right against there. The elemental gets one swing at you as you go out of its range. That is a three plus seven. Ten. It hits your back and it's like, ooh. It's kind of cool.

TRAVIS: And I'll take both of my attacks at the giant death-bringer. Just reckless, not great weapon master. Hoping for a crit, which was not it. 31.

MATT: Hits.

TRAVIS: Great. That's better. 32.

MATT: Hits. These are both with the minus five?

TRAVIS: No, not great weapon master. Just reckless. Six, 22 for the first one.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I can't disarm him; he's a giant. And 20 for the second one.

LAURA: His weapon is grappled right now, so I don't know if you'd have advantage on trying to disarm him.

TRAVIS: He's gargantuan, though.

LIAM: He's already at a negative because of Bigby.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: And that is it.

MATT: That is it? All right. So that ends your turn. At the end of your turn, Grog, it's going to go ahead and use its legendary action to swing back at you as you're hitting it. So you slam it, (grunts) in the back with an axe, as it angrily swings a wide strike towards its back, hoping to catch the side of your chest, with disadvantage, that is an eight plus 14. 22.

TRAVIS: That hits.

MATT: That hits. Okay. You take 27 points of slashing damage, reduced to be 13.

TRAVIS: Can I use my stone's endurance to reduce that further?

MATT: If you want to, or you can take a retaliation shot. Up to you. Don't forget your retaliation.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to do it afterwards. I thought he did two hits backwards?

MATT: Well, stone's endurance is a reaction. You have one reaction, so it's one or the other. I'm pretty sure it is. I'll double check.

TALIESIN: I feel like we're missing at something really hard.

MATT: Essentially.

LAURA: I feel like he's invulnerable.

MATT: Yeah, you can use your reactions. It's one or the other.

TRAVIS: Okay, yeah. I'll do the retaliation.

MATT: All right, cool. You take the 13 damage. Constitution saving throw, please.

TRAVIS: Okay. Oh shit. It's that fucking sword. Right.

SAM: You have inspiration.

TRAVIS: Thank you. Going to need it. 20. I'm going to use my inspiration. 28.

MATT: 28. You resist it. No issue. So now you can take your retaliation shot.

TRAVIS: Okay! Reckless, great weapon master. Why not? That's 31 minus five, that's 26?

MATT: That hits. Roll damage.

TRAVIS: Nice. Fuck. 27.

MATT: 27 points of damage.

TRAVIS: That was a shit roll. I rolled a one. Oh! I reroll ones! Sorry. Reroll ones. Thanks. 12! That's way better!

(cheering)

MATT: That's an extra 11 damage on it.

TRAVIS: 28, 38.

MATT: 38 damage. There you go. So as you resist the effect, you come back with a third strike, slamming it into the back, and you can watch some of the armor in the back crack. You can see bits of glowing orange in places. It's still looking fine, but it's taking hits. It isn't impervious.

MARISHA: This is why I wanted a stupid water elemental.

LIAM: He's on death's door, guys. We got him.

MATT: That brings us to Percival's turn.

TALIESIN: I'm going to run all the way back to the back of the room, I'm going to put as much distance-- well, actually I'll take my shots first. I've got Animus up, so I'm going to spend a point on it. I'm running out of grit. And I'm going to try to take a shot on this guy.

LAURA: I'm above you shouting how hot you look as you're doing it.

MARISHA: Physically, you're really sweaty right now.

LIAM: You're hair is so white. You're like Steve Martin without the ukulele. I'm just so turned on by you.

TALIESIN: 36. That hits, I assume, so that's 1d10 plus 1d6, and then I'm also going to blow the last of my lightning into that, as well. That's 18 points of standard damage, two points of psychic damage, and 15 points of lightning damage.

MATT: Nice. 35 total on that shot.

TALIESIN: That's one shot. This is my last advantage shot. I'm going to take another advantage shot on him. Here we go.

TRAVIS: Come on, dude.

TALIESIN: That's 24 on the advantage shot.

MATT: 24 just hits.

(cheering)

TRAVIS: That's what it is. 24.

TALIESIN: Here we go. 15 points of damage plus three points of psychic damage. I should start taking track of this. Shooting again, no advantage. 20.

MATT: 20 does not hit.

TALIESIN: I'm going to burn an action surge and take three more shots. And I'll roll three d20. Actually, hold on. No it wouldn't matter. 22, yeah it doesn't actually hit. So here we go. Taking three shots. Oh my god! So this is great. I take three more shots. First one is 29, so that one hits.

LIAM: If any of those miss, you're blessed.

TALIESIN: No, they did not. So this is going to be fine. I did roll the other two. 19 and 19, which are both criticals. I got two criticals that we're going to get into. First shot is not a critical. That's 12 points of damage and one point of psychic damage. And then let me get an extra d10 and an extra d6. This is weird. New critical. New type of critical.

MATT: Takes half of the critical damage next turn. What was the total on that last one?

TRAVIS: 26.

MATT: All right. So critical damage.

TALIESIN: Critical damage. That's 11 points of psychic damage.

MATT: The psychic damage is doubled, too, by the way.

TALIESIN: Yeah! And 20 points of normal damage. 20 normal and 11 points of psychic.

MATT: Okay, so 31.

TALIESIN: And now the next critical hit.

LIAM: (whispering) Yes. Yes, Percival. TRAVIS: Come on, you sweet chinchilla.

TALIESIN: Oh my god. That's a terrible roll. That's okay. 12 points of normal damage and six points of psychic damage.

MATT: So 18.

TALIESIN: And so the two of those combined, cut in half, is what he takes next round's bleed damage.

MATT: Yeah. Which is 49, so he'll be taking 24 points of bleed damage.

TALIESIN: I'm running in the opposite direction!

LIAM: You broken bastard.

MATT: So you run around this way.

TALIESIN: Oh, and that's two crits, which means I get two grits back. I'm like (grunts) that way.

MATT: This is as far as you can get. If you want to go that way, you'll have to go around in lava, so you have to go around. That's as far as you can get there. That ends your turn, Percival. All right, at the end of your turn it's going to use its third and final legendary action to hack down at you because you're up next.

LIAM: Bring it. I have no fear.

MATT: All right, so that is a 25.

LIAM: Hits.

MATT: All right.

SAM: That was with disadvantage?

MATT and TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Damn.

LIAM: Uncanny Dodge. Halve it.

MATT: 33 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Okay, halved.

MATT: All right, so it'll be 16, and I want you to make a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Right after you were healed.

TALIESIN: This is just what you're going to be doing.

MARISHA: That's why I went there.

LIAM: That gets me to 18.

MATT: 18, not enough. The darkness takes over again in your eyes. It's still there in front of you, you know where it is, but your vision is taken from you. That is going to end that. It's now your turn.

LIAM: I hate holding my turn, because I don't understand it. If I hold my turn, I can only attack when it gets back to me, right?

MATT: Depends on whatever action you decide to hold.

LIAM: Can I hold my turn to cast Vow of Enmity until I can see again?

MATT: You can do that if you want to.

LIAM: I'm going to hold my turn until I can fucking see to cast Vow of Enmity and attack.

MATT: So you're expecting somebody else in your party to come heal you?

LIAM: I'm going to do fuck all without it. Yes. That's what I'm doing.

MATT: Okay, all right.

TALIESIN: You can move. You have a bonus action.

LAURA: Well, bonus action is Vow of Enmity.

LIAM: This guy can get anywhere. He has shown us that he can get anywhere on this map. There's no point going anywhere. No, I'm going to stay put. That's what I'm doing. I've already called it.

MATT: Okay, so Vax is going to hold that. It's now his turn. Let's see if he gets the blade storm back. Does! He does get the blade storm back. So he's going to leap and land up here in the center. Oh god.

LAURA: (singing) Bigby's Hand!

TALIESIN: Oh, that also means he takes his bleed damage this turn.

MATT: It does, yeah. So we're going to go ahead and put this over here.

LIAM: Can anyone do an attack of opportunity?

TRAVIS: I do.

LIAM: And then, can I get an attack of opportunity even though I'm holding? I have no idea.

MATT: You will, yes.

TALIESIN: I'm so excited by how you're doing this here. This is some crazy shit.

LAURA: It's the sword. It throws him off balance.

MARISHA: He's been doing his yogas, yo.

MATT: So takes another 24 damage, all righty. Both you guys get attacks of opportunity.

TRAVIS: Reckless, great weapon master. 30.

MATT: Hits.

TRAVIS: Okay. For 30 points of damage.

MATT: (crash) It takes the hit, it lands. Go ahead and make your attack.

LIAM: Okay, so I had him flanked with Grog, right, because he was right between the two of us? So down to regular attack.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Good. That hits. That's 18 plus a lot. Plus 14.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: That is 11, plus psychic damage is 13, plus these fuckers. (counting) 35.

MATT: Okay, takes 35 damage, and the blindness fades.

MARISHA: Wait, how did you do that?

LAURA: His concentration, maybe?

LIAM: Yeah, maybe because I cut a bit?

MATT: It seems less concentration. You get the sense that the blindness lasts until you hit it.

LIAM: Can I see now?

MATT: You can now see.

LIAM: So now I can do my held turn.

MATT: Yes, you can.

LIAM: Am I within ten feet? I'll move forward a bit.

MATT: Well, you held your action, not your turn. There's a difference.

LIAM: Okay, but he's near--

MATT: I will say, the minute you hit him and the vision comes back, I'll allow you to do it.

LIAM: Well, wait. Is he within ten feet of Grog, would you say? His foot?

MATT: Sure, I'll let it happen.

LIAM: Well, I'm going to save it, then.

LAURA: No, he said you were in range. He was in range right when you moved.

LIAM: I understand that. I'm weighing multiple options, dear. No, I will cast Vow of Enmity. I'll cast it on my bonus action, then attack, attack.

MATT: You held your action as Vow of Enmity.

LIAM: To attack, right, to attack. Which was to cast Vow of Enmity and then not to attack, as well?

MATT: You can't hold your whole turn. You hold an action.

LIAM: Vow of Enmity.

MATT: So as it lands there, it uses blade storm, (crash) strikes around as it sweeps everyone in a 15-foot radius, which will be Grog, Vax, Vex, the elemental, and Scanlan.

LAURA: Aw, he can even get Scanlan? But he's so little!

SAM: Am I still holding on to his sword?

MATT: With Bigby, you are, so disadvantage on all these attacks, correct. So against Scanlan, that is, hah. Avoided a natural 20 because of that. So that instead is going to be a 22.

SAM: That hits.

MATT: All righty. Against Vax is a 29.

LIAM: (scoffs) Yeah.

MATT: All right, against Grog. That is a 21.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: And against Vex is a 24.

LAURA: Ooh, that hits. And the elemental.

MATT: Elemental is an 18.

MARISHA: Hits. Armor class 14.

MATT: Yeah. All right, so each of you suffers 44 points of slashing damage.

LAURA: I'm going to uncanny dodge.

MATT: Okay, so 22.

LIAM: And I've already used my uncanny dodge in this round, I think.

MATT: Yes, because when he took his turn, you did.

LIAM: Right, so mine is 44 for me.

MATT: 44 to the elemental; you'll want to keep track of that.

MARISHA: Yep, I'm on it.

MATT: And then 22 to you. And I need all of you to make constitution saving throws.

TRAVIS: Come on, baby!

MATT: The elemental fails.

TALIESIN: It's a blind elemental

MARISHA: Nope, it can be blinded! He's got 70 hit points. He hasn't taken any more damage, correct?

LAURA: Oh no! Ugh!

MARISHA: Who's blind?

LAURA: I'm blind!

MARISHA: You're blind? Is Grog blind, as well?

TRAVIS: But I'm in melee, so if he leaves, I can hit him.

TALIESIN: Yeah, and the minute you take your turn, you can make a reckless attack.

LIAM: Blind. Wow.

MATT: Scanlan, what's your constitution saving throw?

SAM: I made a 23.

MATT: Scanlan resists it.

LIAM: That's you, and you, and Scanlan.

MATT: So now, Scanlan, I need you to make a concentration check on Bigby's Hand now.

MARISHA: War caster. You have advantage!

MATT: So DC 22, because it was 44 damage. So you have advantage.

SAM: The first one was that poop thing again.

MATT: Okay, so one.

SAM: Second one, I only rolled a seven, so I'm sure this is not going to add up to something good.

LIAM: What's your save? What did you roll?

MARISHA: Yeah, are you sure the poop is the one?

MATT: Yeah, the poop is a one, we already covered that.

SAM: What am I adding to this, Matt?

MATT: Your constitution saving throw.

LIAM and MATT: Plus 1d4.

SAM: Okay, I'm still not going to hit 22. This is a check, though, so I could inspire myself, maybe?

MATT: It's not a check, it's a saving throw.

SAM: Okay, then it can max out at 20.

MATT: Well, 20 is the max. That's what you're trying to hit. The DC is 20.

SAM: Oh! Well, okay, then I will roll my d4 and see if I can hit it. I only rolled a three, not a four.

(groaning)


MATT: Bigby fades. No longer holding the weapon, the hand fades and the blade is now no longer held back. The creature's looking pretty hurt, but it's still hanging in there. TRAVIS: All I see is wicked Davy Jones wanting to chop us to pieces.

MATT: End of his turn, Vex, you're up.

SAM: Who's up?

MATT: Vex's turn.

LAURA: Do I remember where he was? Can I shoot in his general vicinity, even though I'm blind?

TRAVIS: Yeah, please, shoot me in the neck.

MARISHA: I thought you said, "can I shoot at his genitals."

LIAM: Is Grog close enough for flanking for her?

LAURA: 21 won't hit him, right? Okay, so I'm going to try it again. Goddamn it. No, it's at disadvantage. Neither of them hit.

MATT: Both arrows go wide, disappearing into the smoke of the room. You still hear the machine, (booming), behind you.

LAURA: Okay. Let's see if this is-- nope, it's an action because I'm a genius. I'm going to back up. I don't know if that'll do anything. I'm going to disengage and I'm going to back up on my broom.

MATT: Okay, make a perception check with disadvantage.

LAURA: Great. I'm rolling so good tonight. Shush. 17.

MATT: 17. Because your training saved you, you pull back and you manage to hear the echoes of the bubbling and the sounds nearby. You know where the stairs are, and you don't fall off of them.

LAURA: Oh, I'm on my broom, so I was flying backwards.

MATT: Okay, well if that's the case then you managed to drift backward. How far back do you want to go?

LAURA: As far back as I can without dying.

MATT: Well, you're going to pull back and then slam into the wall over here, because you're not quite sure where that is. So we'll say you're there. That ends your turn, Vex. At the end of your turn, the forge guardian's going to use, let's see--

TALIESIN: Don't say "let's see."

TRAVIS: I'm right under his foot. I'm right there.

MATT: Yep. He's going to go ahead and use a legendary action to attack with his rune blade against--

TALIESIN: I was going to say, you are the heavy damage dealer so far.

MATT: You are hitting it a lot. Yeah. It's going to go against you. Just for this hit. Advantage against you? Natural 20.

LAURA: Oh no! Why? What are you at?

MARISHA: That's a lot of air math going on.

MATT: 61 points of slashing damage, halved to 31.

TRAVIS: Okay. Cool. Can I take my retaliation?

MATT: It hasn't come back to your turn yet, because you've already used that last turn.

TRAVIS: You are right.

MATT: Wait, have we? Because you went last time to attack it, yeah, and you took it as it hit you back at the end of your turn. Yeah. So that brings us to Scanlan's turn.

SAM: I will cast another Lightning Bolt at level six this time, which is 11d6.

MATT: It rolled a 17 on its dex save. It has no dex bonus, so that hits without issue, so full damage, so 11d6.

SAM: Okay. 11d6, yes. Okay. That's only 42.

MATT: That's pretty decent, though. 42 points of lightning damage as you blast it from behind. (crackling) The energy hits the back and arcs through its weapon and its blade, and you can see steam rising up around where its fingers grasp the handle. The leather kilt that hangs at its sides is singed and burned from the impact. Well done. Do you want to move or stay where you are?

SAM: How far am I from the thing?

MATT: You're about ten, 12 feet from it.

SAM: I will not move.

TALIESIN: Oh, but you're not blind anymore.

SAM: I was never blind.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's right. You avoided it.

SAM: But me hitting it doesn't un-blind someone else, does it?

MATT: Nope.

SAM: Oh, shit. Okay, I'll Healing Word myself again, I guess.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: What is it? 2d4 plus six.

MATT: At the end of that turn, it's going to use its second legendary action to attack Vax this time. And since you're blind, it has advantage. That is a 29 to hit.

LIAM: Yeah, that hits. This is within the same round, by the way.

LAURA: What is your--

LIAM: Low.

TALIESIN: That's okay.

LAURA: You can't die.

MATT: 29 points of slashing damage.

LAURA: He can't die? That's a rule?

TALIESIN: Let's not test that.

MATT: All right, end of Scanlan's turn. It's the elemental's turn. The elemental is going to thrash whatever's nearby. It's hostile to everything in the area, and the closest thing to it is the creature. So it's going to attack with disadvantage twice against it. That's a miss and a natural one on the second one, yeah. The elemental swings and is hitting nothing in the air. It's angry and thrashing about. At the end of its turn, he's going to use his last legendary action to attack Vax one more time. That's 29 again?

LIAM: Hits! Don't bother; I'm unconscious.

MATT: Okay, so you are, yeah. It would've been 26 points of slashing damage. So with that, you are unconscious.

TRAVIS: Okay. We're good.

MATT: All right, so that brings us to Grog and Keyleth's turn.

TRAVIS: I'll go.

MARISHA: Go first, see if you hit him.

TRAVIS: I piñata swing, reckless, great weapon master.

MATT: Okay, so the reckless cancels out blindness, so this is a straight roll.

TRAVIS: Single. Don't fuck me, Gil. Blacksmith die for a blacksmith thing. That's not great. That's a miss. Yeah. 20 minus five is 15.

MATT: Yeah. You swing, and it hits air.

TRAVIS: Well, I have one more. I'll make it reckless and not great weapon master. Natural 20.

MATT: Gil fucked and un-fucked you real fast.

TRAVIS: It's been so long since I've done this, I don't remember how this works. Okay. So it's three times the thing.

MATT: Yeah. For you, you roll the dice and you do the critical damage like you normally would.

LAURA: Yeah! 12!

MATT: So that's 24, plus your bonuses.

TRAVIS: Which is 16.

MATT: And the extra necrotic damage, right? Have you been forgetting necrotic damage this whole time? Grog.

LIAM: There's a lot of rules and a lot of math. It's a big book.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I've been forgetting the fucking--

MATT: Well, now's the time to remember it, buddy.

LIAM: Travis has a job, another job.

MATT: It's all good.

TRAVIS: 1d6 necrotic damage.

MARISHA: Sam, how many hit points do you have left?

SAM: Well, there seems to be some confusion about that question. I have it at 62, but the overlay has me at 44, so I don't know.

MATT: Plus two additional d12s.

TRAVIS: A one, 51. And a seven, so 58.

MATT: 58 points of damage on the hit, and your blindness goes away.

LAURA: Yay!

LIAM: Must be nice.

LAURA: It's okay. It's all right. I forgot Hunter's Mark for so many episodes.

MATT: So this time as you swing out, it cracks into the side of him and the axe actually wedges a few inches into the side of his thigh and rear region. As it wedges in there, you actually hear the first sound emanate from this creature: (growling). A deep, guttural, vibrating, low sound. And as soon as your vision clears up, you see it turn around, its head under its arm, down at you. You're seeing some damage on this thing.

TRAVIS: I'm like Tony Stark in the Hulkbuster armor. I'm sorry! Go to sleep!

MATT: That the end of your turn?

TRAVIS: Yes, that's the end of my turn.

MATT: Keyleth, do what you're going to do.

MARISHA: You're blind as, well? Okay. I see my boyfriend down, but I think he's all right, he's fine. You're fine. God, all my friends are fucking blind. I turn and I fly over to Vex and I, snap out of it! I slap a healing whatever into her. A healing touch.

MATT: All right, so you heal the blindness.

MARISHA: So 6d8 plus three. Give me a d8 again.

TALIESIN: Reroll ones?

MARISHA: Not with healing. (counting) 32.

MATT: You heal 32, and your blindness dissipates.

MATT: All right, so you still have movement.

MARISHA: I'm going to fly back to where I was and patrol.

MATT: All right, so you're right there at the edge of the lava, keeping an eye on the battlefield.

MARISHA: Yeah, and out of his swinging range.

MATT: Yes, you're not quite within his range. All right, that ends your turn. Percival, you're up.

TALIESIN: Taking three shots. And that's a 34 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: Anything that didn't hit, I'm going to run Bless. So that's 15 points of damage, five points psychic. That's 24.

MATT: 24 just hits. No, the Bless is concentration, right? That shit's gone.

TALIESIN: That misses, and then the other one misses.

MATT: Totally forgot to keep rolling concentration for you on that. That's a thing you've got to keep in mind whenever you take damage.

TALIESIN: Burning an action surge for three more shots. Burning a grit for advantage.

MATT: That's right, because you have another action surge.

TALIESIN: So advantage number one is a 17 to hit. 26, that hits? Let's put that away; that's not helpful anymore. That's 13 points of damage, two points psychic. Next advantage shot. That's a natural 20.

MARISHA: Thanks, Gil! Gil's on our side!


TALIESIN: That's seven points of psychic damage. Oh shit. That's 28 points of piercing damage.

MATT: Plus nine points psychic?

TALIESIN: Plus seven points psychic. Half that damage, next round.

MATT: Right. The total of that together, then is?

TALIESIN: Total, (counting) that's 34.

MATT: So it takes 17 damage next round.

TALIESIN: Next round, on its turn. I'm burning another grit for my final shot.

LAURA: Does grit give you advantage?

MATT: He can burn a grit to get advantage on a shot, if he wants to.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I can do a lot of things with grit, but he's so big, this is my best shot, because his AC is so fucking high. That's 31 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: Did you have disadvantage on it?

TALIESIN: And that's 16 points of damage and one point of psychic damage.

MATT: All right, so those are your shots.

TALIESIN: And I'm running toward that fire pit, straight back.

MATT: This way You're going to have to leap over lava.

TALIESIN: I can't whirl around it?

MATT: If you want to go around it, you can go (counting).

TALIESIN: That'll do.

MATT: All right, there you go. All right, that ends Percival's turn. Death saving throw, with advantage.

LIAM: Good, natural 20.

MATT: You're fine. Actually, you stabilize. You're fine. End of your turn. It's now the forge guardian's turn.

TALIESIN: Is he blind? Is he still blind?

MATT: Well, he's not conscious, and currently you are still blind, yeah.

LIAM: Am I at zero hit points and stable, or one hit point and stable?

MATT: Zero hit points and stable.

LIAM: Love it.

TRAVIS: One hit point. Zero is unconscious.

MATT: You don't have to make the death saving throws anymore.

LAURA: Oh, but you're still unconscious.

MATT: No, you regain one hit point if you roll a 20! You're right!

LIAM: But we're not at the top of the round, right? We're still mid-round, correct?

MATT: Correct. So you're conscious now, though your vision, you open your eyes, and there's still darkness, but you're conscious. All right. The forge guardian does not regain his blade storm. He's going to make two melee attacks against you, Grog, since you've given him the option. Actually, he's going to go ahead and leap a little bit, to land here, not enough to give you an attack of opportunity. It's going to make one strike at you, Grog, and another kick attack at Scanlan.

LIAM: Kick a gnome?

TALIESIN: Gnome-kicking is a time-honored tradition.

MATT: 31, Grog?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that hits. I'll take the retaliation after, as well.

MATT: 34 points of slashing damage. Down to 17. And Scanlan, that is 28 to hit.

SAM: That hits. You take 24 points of bludgeoning damage.

SAM: I will reduce that with Cutting Words.

MARISHA: He's about to go down, isn't he?

MATT: All right, so reduced, so roll a d12. This is your last bardic inspiration, so you're done with this now.

SAM: d12. Six.

MATT: Okay. So take six damage off of that.

SAM: What was the damage? I don't think you said.

MATT: I thought I did, but I don't remember.

SAM: You rolled a 20-something to hit, but I don't think you said damage.

MATT: That's fine. I can't remember. Okay. (counting) 25 points, reduced, so you take 19 points of bludgeoning damage as it kicks you, and you are pushed 15 feet back.

LIAM and MARISHA: Past the lava!

TRAVIS: Skipping across!

MARISHA: Please tell me you're not unconscious.

MATT: So Scanlan, you immediately are kicked back into the molten rock and iron. That is 61 points of fire damage.

LAURA: Did he go under? Tell me you're not unconscious.

SAM: I'm unconscious.

MATT: Scanlan is now on fire, and (sizzling) he's T-800-ing.

TRAVIS: Can I take my retaliation attack?

MATT: You can.

TRAVIS: Reckless, great weapon master.

LAURA: I think I can get him out.

TRAVIS: 34 minus five. 29.

MATT: That hits. Roll damage on that.

TRAVIS: 23, 33.

MATT: 33 damage. By the way, at the top of its turn, it also took 17 points of damage from your piercing shot. It's looking rough now. It's looking pretty rough. All right, so that finishes that turn. Ah, end of his turn, Vex, you're up.

LAURA: Yeah. Okay. All right, can I get to Scanlan from my position on the map?

LIAM: Movement, dash, action to grab him.

LAURA: All right, then I'm going to pick him up.

MATT: All right, so you glide down and you grab his body, and you lift him up, and you get him out of the lava but that's as much movement as you've got.

LAURA: Can I use my action to--

MATT: It's your action to grab and pull him out.

LAURA: Can I use my bonus action to dash away?

MATT: You can. I'll say you move half speed because you're having to bring him with you.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to back up.

MATT: So you can get both of you guys back up to wherever you want to go.

LAURA: Into the corner.

MATT: Into the corner? So you get about there.

LAURA: At least I got him out of the lava.

LIAM: I have had a jackrabbit knee under the table for ten minutes.

LAURA: But that's it? That's everything.

MATT: All right, so that ends Vex's turn. Top of the round, Scanlan, you immediately take fire damage because you're still on fire, so you immediately fail a death saving throw.

SAM: But I have some sort of Death Ward on me.

MATT: You do have Death Ward on you! So as you go to reach and grab him and pull him up, the Death Ward flickers on and he comes back to one hit point. You pull him off to the side. As soon as his turn comes up, he takes seven points of fire damage and *now* goes to zero.

MARISHA: He didn't fail a death saving throw.

MATT: The Death Ward has expired.

LIAM: Point of clarification. We're at the top of the round, so I went from one hit point to two hit points.

MATT: Yeah, I think so, actually. Well, it's the top of your turn, so yeah. Let me double check on that.

LIAM: Save it, too. No one can touch me.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you're all good.

MATT: All righty, so that brings us from Scanlan's turn to the elemental's turn. The elemental is going to go ahead and (whoosh).

SAM: This overlay thing's pretty cool.

LIAM: Yeah, right? It makes remote play not quite as removed.

SAM: Can we have a hologram version of that in front of us all the time?

TRAVIS: Yeah, right here.

MARISHA: Yeah, counting our hit points for us?

SAM: That we can see, I mean.

MATT: That is 13 against your armor class. Does not hit. And 14 does not hit. It has the blindness on the elemental, still.

TRAVIS: Super cute elemental, chasing me like a puppy.

MATT: All right, ending that elemental's turn. It is now Grog and Keyleth's turn.

TRAVIS: I'll go. Okay. Straight at him, reckless, great weapon master.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: That's going to be enough. Come on, crit. No. Okay.

MATT: Technically, sorry, before we get to that, at the end of its turn, at the end of the elemental's turn, it's going to go ahead and strike you with its blade.

TRAVIS: Okay. I'm going to keep that roll just in case something happens.

MATT: No worries. That's a 27 to hit.

TRAVIS: Which it does.

MATT: 36 points of slashing damage, reduced to half, so that's 18. And make a constitution saving throw, please.

MARISHA: I have four as my planetar, so I've got two more of those that I just did, in terms of myself. I'm trying to keep tabs.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: 24? Yeah, you resist the blindness. So your turn, unabated as you were before.

TRAVIS: Right. Minus five, is 31 to hit.

MATT: Yeah, that hits.

TRAVIS: It was a great roll. And the second one is pretty big. 34 minus five is 29.

MATT: That hits, yeah. Both do damage.

LIAM: Let me do a little roleplay here. Oh, baby!

TRAVIS: 17 plus ten is 27 for the first one. Oh, nope. I'm sorry! That was a one, so I'm going to re-roll it. Five, 21, 31 for the first one. Second one. Three, 29, and my fucking necrotic dice. Two, four more.

MATT: All right, that ends your turn, Grog?

TRAVIS: That does. Actually, can I move? I'm going to stay in melee, but I want to come over here in case he decides to golf-swing me into the fucking lava river.

MATT: Sure. It's going to use its second legendary action to attack you, as soon as you move around, it's going to sweep low and attempt to try and cleave you in half. With the advantage against you, natural 20.

(screaming)

TALIESIN: Knock it off!

MATT: That reckless attack, man. He gets advantage on all his attacks against him.

TRAVIS: That's the reason I roll so high most of the time.

MARISHA: Yeah, you kill them before they can retaliate.

MATT: 73 points of slashing damage. On 3d12, it was a ten, eight, and a 12.

MARISHA: What was it, 76?

TRAVIS: So that's 37?

MATT: It's 20, 30, times two, 60, plus 13. So 73. So half of that would be 36, we'll say. 36 points of slashing damage, and make a constitution saving throw.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, 24.

MATT: 24, okay. Resisting it still.

TRAVIS: I can still see?

MATT: Yeah, you can still see. All right, Keyleth.

MARISHA: Okay. You can still see? Everyone's good? You're up? Everyone's up?

LAURA: Scanlan's dead. Unconscious.

MARISHA: You're with him. He's fine. I'm going to fly over. 120 feet. I've got a five foot reach range. I'm going to do my multiattack as my planetar. So two hits, with plus two. I'm going to do Gil.

LIAM: Come on, Captain Planet!

TRAVIS: We just had three fights in the same day.

MARISHA: Goddamn. That's a natural 19 on one, and a natural 16 on the other! Plus 12 for both of those.

MATT: Yeah, those both hit.

MARISHA: Okay, and then for both of those, 4d6 plus seven, and an additional 5d8 radiant damage.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Kiki, it's yours.

LAURA: Kill it!

MARISHA: Okay, for the d6s alone. Okay, that's six plus four, that's ten plus another five, 15, plus three is 18.

MATT: 18 plus seven. 25?

MARISHA: I'm just doing the d6s. 25, and then, not as great the second time.

TALIESIN: Do you re-roll those?

MARISHA: No, not in this form. Only elemental damage. So five, six, seven, plus another seven, so 14.

MATT: 14, okay, and then now 10d8 radiant damage.

MARISHA: Now 10d8 radiant damage. I may just roll these twice, okay, so the first one. Okay, ten plus seven, so 17, plus another seven is 24 radiant, and then (counting) 19 damage. Radiant damage.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

(shouting)

MATT: As you rush across the room, rushing towards it, and strike out towards it, what do you want to do?

MARISHA: Okay. (grunts) As I look around, see all my friends, blind and running around insane, I'm going to go (yells) and fly across the field, and come down with a big radiant strike, and try and invoke in the back of my head, (singing) Hallelujah! And (grunts).

MATT: As you arc down with your weapon, the holy, divine energy spraying off with the strike, the arc slams into the center of the guardian's chest, and you watch as the armor expands and explodes. You see this core in the center that previously has been guarded by its stone form, and there on the inside you see this beating red gem that (power-down sound) goes cold. As it does, the guardian drops the blade (footsteps) and walks to the other side of the chamber, pieces of its armor falling off to the ground. You see cracked parts of its outer form breaking off in small chunks of shale, and it makes its way to the opposite side, walking around, carefully, each of you. It takes and places its blade (crashing) up on this stand on the wall, turns around, and goes completely inert.

LAURA: Whoa. It was a trial. You had to be able to beat him in order to forge here. I'm putting Scanlan out! Because he's still on fire.

MATT: Okay. Scanlan is still on fire.

LAURA: Scanlan is not on fire anymore.

TRAVIS: Is he unconscious still?

LAURA: He's still unconscious, so I'm going to cast Cure Wounds at level one, because that's what I can do, so I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on him to bring him back to life.

MARISHA: Okay, and then I fly over, (whoosh), and do my other healing touch on Vax.

MATT: How many healing touches does he have?

MARISHA: Four.

LIAM: Wait. I don't need it. Wait.

LAURA: So six points, Scanlan, that's what you've got.

LIAM: The massive gash across my entire body, as you stand there for 30 seconds, starts to close. Yeah.

MARISHA: Cool. (whoosh) I go over to Scanlan and do a healing touch. 6d8. (counting) Can you give me one more d8? Okay. Scanlan, you have 14, 15, 26. You heal 26 plus three, so 29 hit points.

SAM: Thank you.

MARISHA: And you're cured from any diseases. Is anyone else blind or rough?

LIAM: That's gone as soon as he's done fighting.

MATT: Yes, the blindness has faded.

MARISHA: I have one more of these if anyone else needs healing.

TRAVIS: I'm in double digits, which is uncomfortable for me.

LAURA: Yeah, you're low double digits, too!

MARISHA: You're low double digits? (whoosh)

MATT: Where are you at?

TRAVIS: 53.

MARISHA: I drop same thing into Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I got my ass handed to me. Two crits by that giant bastard.

MATT: That reckless, man. That's the downside.

TRAVIS: I know. I'll take, though. It's worth the gamble.

MARISHA: (counting) You get 37 hit points.

MATT: The first part of this fight, he was sucking. It was like, two, three, three, two, and then he picked up. All righty. So in the silence, as you guys take a moment to breathe and recover, the uncomfortable heat in here is sweltering. The guardian is motionless across the forge. The blade is set up against the wall, now obscured by the smoke that's still billowing up across the back wall. Getting a better glance around, you can see a lot of the soot and black that has gathered in the upper areas of the ceiling, which is about 50 feet high. There you see, faintly glowing and obscuring the air above it, the Core Anvil, the chains still held taut as the various blacksmithing implements hang dangling off the sides of the central platform.

TRAVIS: Well, that was a bitch. What do you say we cut to the chase and hammer this shit out?

LAURA: I hope he won't come back to life as soon as we start.

MARISHA: Is my elemental still going rogue?

MATT: I will say at this point, because the elemental took quite a bit of damage, that you guys quickly dispatch it. I don't want to have to worry about you guys killing a blind elemental. It's fine. No longer blind, but still. (splat) It's gone.

MARISHA: Keyleth goes Mickey in Fantasia for a second, and she's the axe to the brooms, killing my creation.


TRAVIS: There's a big splash up against the wall, but it's just water.

TALIESIN: Sam, your inspiration is a long rest recharge, not a short rest, right?

MATT: Short rest.

TALIESIN: Oh! If we take a short rest, he can inspire us when we do this.

LAURA: Yeah, we should probably, if we can, take a short rest.

LIAM: That's a half hour? Yeah, that was hard.

TALIESIN: I want to sit down.

LAURA: Just so you guys can think about your process, know exactly what you're doing.

TALIESIN: We do need to discuss this.

MATT: While you guys are taking a short rest, you can heal up with your hit dice. I also need everyone to make a constitution saving throw, please, because it's so hot in here.

LIAM: Do I, with the fire on the Deathwalker's Ward?

MARISHA: Yeah. And me with the mantle?

MATT: This is a little more than the usual mantle. I'll say you have to make it, as well, Vax, just make it with advantage.

MARISHA: Do I get with advantage because of the mantle or no?

TALIESIN: 18.

TRAVIS: 21.

LAURA: 19.

LIAM: 25.

MARISHA: 14.

LAURA: Scanlan?

SAM: I rolled that poop thing again.

MATT: So both Scanlan and Keyleth gain a point of exhaustion.

SAM: Wait, do I get advantage? No, I don't know.

MATT: You do not.

LAURA: You got a lot of hit dice that you can roll.

TRAVIS: I do, but still. Four.

MATT: Your constitution modifier is?

TRAVIS: Five.

TALIESIN: And now I'm up to top again, and it only took two hit dice. And then I get my heal back. I get my action surges back. Grit comes back on a short rest.

LAURA: I'm back to 144.

LIAM: Back at the temporary 137, due to the feast.

TALIESIN: I'm going to really quickly fix Bad News. All right, I fixed Bad News.

MATT: There you go.

TALIESIN: Wow. And so many things don't work anymore. Okay. Yeah.

MATT: What's wrong now?

TALIESIN: Oh, my Hex is burned, my Spider Climb's burned, Diplomacy is a long rest before that goes again.

MATT: So you guys finish your short rest. What do you want to do in the chamber? You have the whole chamber at your disposal.

TRAVIS: I would like to go to the top where the Core Anvil is and start pulling up each of the tools that are hanging by the four chains.

MATT: Okay. You find numerous sets of tongs. You find twisting tools. You find metal punches. You find chisels of all sizes. You see a form of leg vise that's laying at the side of the anvil which you know immediately, weirdly for you, a leg vise is a small device that you use to clamp metal onto the anvil to work on it. You use your foot to hold down with pressure. You also see the hammer that was chained to it, as well, which is very well made. The dark black hammer metal look with gold inlay. It looks like scrolling all across it in places. All these different tools are all chained to the actual sides of the anvil.

TRAVIS: Can I tell what material the black part of the hammer is made out of? If it's rock, metal, some sort of volcanic glass?

MATT: It appears to be metal.

LAURA: So these trammels need to be made out of platinum. You know how to do it, right?

TALIESIN: No, I know how to do it.

LAURA: Okay. So what do we do?

TRAVIS: I have the chunks of platinum. I hand the chunks of platinum over to Percy to put the-- I guess they don't have to be in--

TALIESIN: We're going to have to smelt them.

LAURA: They're going to be melted.

TRAVIS: So we should do that, right?

TALIESIN: We're going to have to start with smelting them. Well, I don't know. You know the process, I don't. Why am I in character talking to the dungeon master? What's happening? Ah, the meta.

MATT: You understand, based on the discussion you guys had between the design, the platinum has to be smelted down into workable bars, ingots of metal that can be hammered and folded. You have to get into the chamber to do so because the smelting materials are in the chamber you just came from. This is the forging chamber. The other doors are still closed. Once they're made into bars, and this is from the design that you recall Ioun gave you, the beads of divinity that you've been given, you have to actually shatter across the anvil and then fold the pieces into the metal.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: Once that's done then you actually have a solid blank of platinum inlaid with the fragments of divinity. You then have to draw out the trammel tips, which makes them into a fine point like a long javelin-like rod. Then you have to use the vise, after heating the metals, to twist the trammels. The actual design has them twisted because it helps conduct the divine energy to the point. And then using the chiseling tools, you have to work in the runes that match and channel the incantation that Scanlan's book has. It's multi-process step that's going to require both of you to work together on this, since some elements of it are blacksmithing elements some of it are tinkering.

LAURA: So we have to get into the other room first before we do any of that. Can I fly over and see if I can find any kind of apparatus that would--

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Going with her to do the same. Investigation?

LAURA: 30.

MATT: So 30. You glance up and you see it looks there like there were two chains that were originally down held on a crank device. However, the chain has been cut and the other half of it is about 20 feet up in the air.

LAURA: Okay. And I'm assuming that I'm not strong enough to pull on that chain, right? I can try. I'm going to try.

LIAM: Why don't you and I try?

LAURA: Yeah, but you can't fly anymore. MARISHA: I can, though. I still have wings.

LAURA: You fly on one and I'll try to get the other one.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So planetar form. Go ahead and make a strength check, please.

MARISHA: I am looking right now. My strength is 24, so plus seven. (scoffs) Again. Why again with the threes?

TALIESIN: Put that one away.

LAURA: Oh, I rolled a 13.

MATT: You two tug on those chains, and they are not moving.

LAURA: Can the guardian do it? Hey you that was attacking us. Can you get those chains?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: (laughs) Really? Yeah, it wasn't a very persuasive thing to say. 14.

MATT: 14? It makes no motion, nothing.

LIAM: Shorthalt, you got any Bigby's left in you?

SAM: I could do one if we really need it. What's wrong with Grog? He can't do it?

LAURA: It's too high.

LIAM: He could do one. We could get him up there.

MARISHA: Is the end of the chain able to where I can pull to at least make it reach Grog or no?

MATT: No, you don't have the strength to pull it down, not with that strength check unfortunately.

LIAM: Can you Bigby one and maybe Vex can slowly pull Grog up to that thing on your broom?

LAURA: Or she could probably lift Grog up.

MARISHA: Can I fly Grog up?

MATT: Yeah. You can lift him up. (grunts) It takes you a minute and it's a slow pull. You feel the veins bulging on your blue-skinned forehead. (grunts)

TRAVIS: Kicking my feet, which doesn't make it any easier.

MARISHA: Dog-paddling.

MATT: But you do get up, Grog, and you grab the chain. Make a strength check.

TRAVIS: I'm not still raging, unfortunately.

MATT: You can still be raging if you want to.

LAURA: You're very angry about it.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: As you lift him up, you grab the chain and rappelling down, you begin to find places in the stonework and metal on the side and hold on with your other hand pull. As you do, you watch the wall on the other side (scraping) move up on one side a little bit and get stuck.

SAM: Should I Bigby the other?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: All right. I'll have to do it at level seven.

MARISHA: Oh shit. We're so tapped out.

MATT: So Bigby's Hand appears, (whoosh) rushes up to the other chain. Go ahead and make a d20 roll and add an eight to it.

SAM: 21.

MATT: As Bigby pulls the other side, the wall on the opposite side adjusts and both chains now, Grog and Bigby's Hand together, pull and pull and pull and slowly, as you're both pulling across the metal and dragging it downward, the opposite wall (scraping). Opens up.

SAM: Oh wait. Is this an ability check?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: I'm exhausted.

TALIESIN: Bigby isn't, though.

MATT: Bigby isn't. It's a check for the spell, not for you. So together you both eventually bring the chains to the bottom and you find one of the number of hooks on the floor area where you can wrap it around to hold it in place. It's tenuous but it's holding. And so the large metal door on the other side is currently now held up about 13 feet up. It's only partway up right now but that's all you need at the moment.

MARISHA: Can Grog and them let go? Is it going to slam shut?

MATT: They found large rings and hooks to hook them onto.

TRAVIS: We hurry to the other room.

TALIESIN: We hurry to the other room. If we can get any inspiration, too, before we start this process.

LAURA: There's no inspiration-- Oh, no, he rested. Yeah.

MATT: Short rest, so he has his inspiration back.

TALIESIN: Let's just smelt for now. MARISHA: And now I can do my concentration. Let me burn another spell. I'm doing Cat's Grace on you. That fell to the wayside before.

MATT: You have advantage on dexterity-based ability checks.

TRAVIS: Oh that's right, that's the one. Thank you.

MATT: So. Let's see here. Grog, Percival. You head to the original chamber before this. You find the tongs and some of the metallic ingot-based molds. You take in pieces of platinum equal to the amounts you guys had pulled up before. How much was it?

LAURA: 300 platinum each.

MATT: That was for the face. For the trammels.

LAURA: Oh. Would those little pyramids work to make the trammels? Or it needs more?

MATT: Well, no. There's other molds there with the smelting device.

LAURA: I got 4,920 platinum.

MATT: If I recall, it was 1,500 platinum per piece, I believe.

TRAVIS: So 4,500. So enough for three trammels.

MATT: So you guys made the platinum transition when you were in Vasselheim. And the reason it takes so much is because even the natural platinum that's out there has some impurities in the process of the creating so you guys have to repeatedly go through and burn and pull out impure segments of the metals that come to the top.

LAURA: Make sure you use some of those pyramids we made, though.

MARISHA: Yeah, so we don't waste that platinum that we melted into triangles.

MATT: So Grog, I need you to go ahead and make a blacksmithing tool check. This is with proficiency bonus. It should be dexterity for this.

TALIESIN: At which you have advantage.

TRAVIS: Which I have advantage.

MATT: Correct. So you'd roll twice.

LAURA: 1,500 per trammel? Of platinum. Okay. We're fine. Yeah. Can you get your calculator out? Never mind. I can do this it myself.

TALIESIN: Yeah, figure out what dex plus proficiency. Whatever your dex plus prof is.

TRAVIS: Oh, advantage. Right. I got it. 19.

SAM: Oh, do you want me to inspire you or anything? Do you all need anything?

TALIESIN: How long does inspiration last for?

MATT: Up to ten minutes.

TALIESIN: Let's wait until the final--

MATT: All right. So. It takes you a good 20 minutes or so, 30 minutes or so per ingot to get all the impurities out, to heat it and to scoop it out. Eventually so you can form three bars of pure platinum to the level you know the requirements of the trammel are. You look around. You don't see any areas here to cool the metal. You didn't get a good look at the other chamber necessarily to see if there was something for it.

TRAVIS: I still have the Alchemy Jug with the water in it.

LAURA: You might shatter that jug.

TALIESIN: There's probably everything we need in here if we take a look around.

MARISHA: Do you need water?

TALIESIN: We're going to need water.

LAURA: Can I fly around and see what we can see?

MATT: Sure. You glance and there's the two machines over there that are still (crashing). Behind and in the center of the two machines you do see a trough about eight feet on one side and three feet the other width of it. It is empty, however.

MARISHA: I go over and cast Create Water.

MATT: You manage to fill the trough, brimming with cool instantly created water.

LAURA: We've got a trough!

MATT: Back and forth, you guys take the molds with tongs and (sizzling) quench the metal and pull out the three heavy platinum ingots, ready for use on the actual anvil.

LIAM: This just turned into an Aerosmith video.

MATT: (laughter) So. Now that you're working on the forge, you have your Gauntlets on. The two of you walk up and you have all these tools around you. To fold the metal, you're going to need the hammer. So you grab the hammer and the hammer's pretty big. It's like a maul. It's a two-handed hammer.

TRAVIS: I love this.

MATT: You need the beads of divinity for this next stage.

TRAVIS: Who's got the beads?

LAURA and SAM: I've got a bead.

MATT: So you take the Ioun one, which has a faint whitish-gray glow, and place it in the center of the anvil. Go ahead and make a strength check, Grog.

TRAVIS: Can I go into a rage?

MATT: You may.

TRAVIS: (heavy breathing) That's even better. 25.

MATT: 25. With a giant echoing yell, (grunts) you bring the hammer down and you watch a flash of bright, vibrant white, faintly blue light flicker and beam across the room. All of you for a second have to hold your eyes and look away and as you come back, the hammer is on top of the anvil. As you pull it back, you see where the bead was there is now a crushed dust of the same color, roughly about the size of a plate. None of it's scattered away from the anvil, it is a crystalline diamond-like powder that remains.

TRAVIS: Do we fold this into one of the ingots? One at a time?

TALIESIN: One at a time.

MATT: All right. So with you holding the tongs and helping him, you take the hammer. I need you to make a blacksmithing tool check.


TALIESIN: With advantage.

MATT: This is with strength, on this one. This is hammering the metal and folding it into the metal.

TRAVIS: That is a 19.

MATT: 19's fine. The hammering isn't too hard. The different things have different difficulties, and so the folding isn't too bad. So with that, you guys take the dust and you scatter it across the metal and then hammer and fold, hammer and fold and take more and scatter it across the metal as it's still heated. Hammer and fold then go and take it off to the side to two of the coal areas, and you watch as the furnaces burn and heat the metal up again. You bring it back up to the steps and hammer and fold, hammer and fold with more of it until eventually, you've managed to hammer in over the next 20 or so minutes, both of you sweating, feeling a little bit of stiffness and soreness in your arms from this process, but you've been far worse.

LAURA: We're cheering them on the side. Good forging! Fold that metal.

MATT: You eventually build a rod blank for your first trammel using the bead of divinity from Ioun. That is complete. So who's next?

TRAVIS: Whose bead is up next?

LAURA: Oh god. All right, here we go.

MATT: All right. So you take the faintly yellowish-glowing bead of divinity from the Dawnfather, place it onto the anvil. Make another strength check, please.


LAURA: Does he need inspiration?

TRAVIS: Persistent rage. I'm raging balls this whole time.

MATT: Do you still have an inspiration on you right now?

TRAVIS: I do not.

LAURA: Scanlan?

SAM: Do you want me to inspire you?

TRAVIS and LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: All right, I will. I go up to Grog and I tell him: Grog, I'm going to tell you some words of wisdom that I learned from a book once. A wise man said, "The man who hast smelted verily didst also dealt it."

TRAVIS: Wisdom. Unparalleled wisdom!

MATT: So with advantage, and you're still raging on this.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. 25.

MATT: 25 again.

TRAVIS: 17 plus eight.

MATT: Both times you've hit 25, and the DC on this is 25 on the sheet here. So with Pelor's bead of divinity, you (crash) slam down a second time. This time, you guys see a flash like you stare into the sun for a split second. The heat in the room grows even warmer for a moment, and it's like being on the outside of a Meteor Swarm blast, which you all recall very distinctly. You come back and pull the hammer away, and there you see the scattering dust of the Dawnfather's blessed bead.

The two of you then go ahead and take in the next ingot and begin. You heat it up, bring it back to the anvil and begin to fold, scatter, fold, scatter, reheat, bring back, fold, scatter. Repeating the process until you get all through it. I need you to go ahead and make another blacksmithing tool check.

TRAVIS: Advantage because of the Cat's Grace. It's a 19.

MATT: This is strength, still.

TRAVIS: Oh, it is?

MATT: Yeah. I'll tell you if it's dex or strength because you're hammering the metal. He's turning it over.

TRAVIS: 27.

MATT: 27. Yeah. Without an issue, you guys manage to fold in your second trammel blank without worry. Bringing you to the third one, the third and final.

TRAVIS: Bead.

MATT: Producing and placing onto the anvil, Vax, you leave behind there the small jet black smooth oval bead.

TRAVIS: I reach into my pouch and I take out one of my peas that I got, and I put it on the anvil.

LAURA: Don't do it. Get it off of there, Grog.

MATT: Strength check, Grog.

TRAVIS: Raging strength check. Okay. It's inspiration time.

SAM: Inspiration time?

TRAVIS: I'm going to use the dice.


MARISHA: Because you didn't use it before?

LAURA: No, he hasn't used it. (gasps)

TRAVIS: It's a 24.

MATT: 24. (clang) You slam down. And you pull back the hammer, and there it remains. Unshattered.

LAURA: Try it again.

TRAVIS: But my arms are really sore. I need a massage.

LAURA: I'm going to over and rub his muscles.

LIAM: Grog, if you do this I will give you something really cool. Really cool.

TRAVIS: By whose standards, yours or mine?

LIAM: Yours.

TRAVIS: All right.

LAURA: Do you want to inspire him again, Scanlan?

SAM: Yes, I do. I will sing to him. (singing) Pour some platinum on thee and get it on an anvil. Pour some platinum on thee when you need a trammel!

MATT: Take your d12. All right, Grog, as you try again, pulling the large maul hammer up.

TRAVIS: No. Come on, Gil. That's dog shit.

LAURA: Oh no!

TRAVIS: I'm not even going to use the inspiration because it won't get us there.

LAURA: Try one more time. Can he try again?

TRAVIS: Well, now hold on. 19. I would have to roll a 12. Of a d12.

SAM: You'd have to roll a 12?

LAURA: Try it, though.

MATT: It's up to you.

TRAVIS: Ten.

LAURA: Oh, motherfuck.

MATT: (impact) You slam down with a second hit. As it hits, the reverberation of the impact fills the room. You pull the hammer back and there it remains, but you do see a mild crack through its form.

TRAVIS: (panting) I'll try one more time. One more. No inspiration.

MARISHA: Can I do anything to help him?

TALIESIN: No. Let's just do it.

MARISHA: Can I give him Guidance?

LAURA: Do you get any more inspiration, Scanlan?

SAM: Sure. Yeah, I can inspire one more time.

TRAVIS: Hold on. Let me try it without the inspiration. Let me try.


MATT: If you give him Guidance, it will give him an additional d4 he gets to add.

MARISHA: But it would get rid of his Cat's Grace, but you're not using it.

MATT: Oh yeah, because it's concentration.

TRAVIS: Let me do it straight up.

MARISHA: It's a cantrip. I'm going to give you Guidance! I'm doing it! Guidance!

MATT: So as you're doing this, Keyleth comes up behind and then touches you.

MARISHA: Come on, Grog! Come on! That's my Guidance.

TRAVIS: I didn't need it. 25 on the dot.

MARISHA: Good.

MATT: What could have been only two trammels, you barely manage to succeed in properly shattering and not ruining the third bead. (impact) As you slam, all of you for a second see nothing but darkness. All the light, all the flame, even the heat of the room goes jet cold for an instant. And all of a sudden, the light of the furnaces flicker back on, the machine once more (crushing). The engine slams and light filters back. You pull the hammer back. You see a scattering of darkened coal, obsidian dust remaining behind.

TRAVIS: I've never been so happy to see a 17 before. Oh my god.

LIAM: Work that Play-Doh. Come on.

MATT: With that, you two holding the tongs, you take and fold the metal, hammer it, fold the metal, hammer it. Make another blacksmithing check. Go ahead and make your final blank.

LAURA: Okay, but now you can add things.

TRAVIS: I've got advantage. Is it strength or dex?

MATT: This is strength still, this one.

MARISHA: You still have Guidance.

TRAVIS: But I get a d4 on top of it? Oh, that's great. 26 without the other stuff.

MATT: Without an issue. So with that, you fold and you have your three finished trammel blanks, each one infused with the bead of divinity. Now you need to draw them out. And you can do these as one check for the three of them. So you go in and you take these blanks, these long rods, and you heat up the tip and bring it back, you holding with the tongs. You being to, at an angle, hammering it against the top of the anvil, to eventually bring it to a gradual point. I need you to go ahead and make a blacksmithing check. This will be dexterity because this is less of just hammering, this is a little more careful manipulation of the metal. Did you cast Cat's Grace on him again? Because if you don't, it's not advantage.

MARISHA: Cat's Grace.

TRAVIS: Then I'll keep that. And then what was the guidance? Do I have Guidance any more?

MATT: No, you can't have both.

MARISHA: Do you want advantage or do you want that extra d4?

TALIESIN: Advantage.


LAURA: So he can still add one d4 on this?


MARISHA: Pick one.

TRAVIS: It's a 15 with advantage.

MATT: It's a 15?

SAM: Shall I inspire him?


MATT: Well, you have to inspire him before he makes the check.

TRAVIS: Because it's my dexterity modifier plus my proficiency bonus, right?

MATT: Yes.


TALIESIN: Can I help with this?

MATT: You are helping with this.

TALIESIN: Oh god. Okay.

MATT: (laughs) We'll get to you shortly. So as you begin to hammer it out, it's getting a little fragile at some points. I'll let you make one more check so you don't ruin one of the trammels.

TRAVIS: Advantage, right?

TALIESIN: Advantage and inspiration.

SAM: Sure. Yeah, I'll inspire him again.

LAURA: He needs as much as you can give him, Scanlan.


SAM: I will give him every inch of myself.

LAURA: So one?

(laughter)

SAM: One by one by one, yeah.

TRAVIS: My god. That's better. Okay. That's a 24. Should I use the inspiration?

SAM: Yes, you should.


TRAVIS: 29.

MATT: 29. So this time, seeing where the imperfections were in the hammering you initially did and curving and bringing fragility to one of the trammels, you double back, heat up, and correct the mistake. Over the next ten minutes or so, you both carefully work to bring each to a razor point at the end of these large platinum javelins now. They're thicker on one side and come to an impossible point at the other. You have three of these base trammels now complete.

LAURA: Now we got to twist them?

TRAVIS: No, we got to put the runes in.

MATT: So now you have to twist them. This is where you bring up the leg vice. So you go ahead and you clamp it in there. This is without your help. This is now you taking and heating the metal and twisting it as you go, so make another blacksmithing check.

MARISHA: I can guide you. I can do nothing else.

MATT: This is a dexterity-based.

MARISHA: Oh, it's dexterity still? Then keep the advantage. You have advantage.

TRAVIS: (sobbing) I'm tired of this.

LAURA: Does he have any more inspiration?

SAM: Sure. I can inspire him.

LAURA: Wait, keep inspiring.

TALIESIN: He already rolled.


LAURA: But he hasn't announced it.

MATT: He already rolled.

TRAVIS: It's a 26. It's okay.


MATT: So with that, you, one by one, slowly using the clamp, twist, heat it up, grab, clamp, twist, hammer, twist and continue this process for each trammel as everyone looks on with bated breath. The deafening sound of the engine-like contraptions fill the space like a heartbeat. Their rhythm gets into your muscles and the aches begin to fade as you focus on the hammers in unison with the (slamming). Becomes this very primal forging-of-the-world vision to see Grog atop this anvil for over an hour at this point now, sweating and hammering away at these trammels. A vision of the Allhammer once, long ago, forging weapons of old, long forgotten and lost, now Grog sits here, forging the means of sealing one of the biggest threats to the Prime Material Plane by himself. As you finish twisting the final trammel, you pull it up (sizzling), quenching them in the water that you left behind. And as you pull up, you can see as the steam rises, the three twisted javelins of pure platinum ready for the final scrolling.

TRAVIS: (panting) Okay. Okay, give me the cool thing.

LIAM: I don't want to do that with everybody here. I'm not lying to you. It's really cool.

TRAVIS: I'm too tired to be upset about it.

LIAM: Later. I promise.

MARISHA: What do you--

TALIESIN: Well, let's see what do I have to do.

MATT: The only hammer here is that maul, but all the chiseling and tinkering work takes a much smaller more delicate hammer.

TRAVIS: I do have the Dwarven Thrower.

MATT: It's going to have to be a smaller edge than that.

LAURA: Like what? Whisper?

LIAM: Edge? Yeah?

MATT: It has to be a hammer.


MARISHA: Like a rock hammer.

LAURA: Can we look around for a little teeny hammer?

MATT: Make an investigation check.


SAM: Teeny hammer?


LAURA: 12 for me, so probably not so much.

TALIESIN: Make an investigation check?


TRAVIS: Me too.

LIAM: 18 for me.


TALIESIN: Glad I got that roll out of the way.

TRAVIS: 15?

MATT: Looking around, all the other tools are for different things, but there's no other hammer. There's the one singular giant hammer on the chain.

LAURA: Have you picked it up? Maybe it changes shape.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try picking the hammer up.

MATT: Okay. You pick up the hammer.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and attune to it.

MATT: So you take a bit of time to attune with it, if you feel that's something you could try.

TALIESIN: I'm going to examine it.

MATT: Okay. Make an arcana check.

TALIESIN: Make another arcana check. Let's see what happens. Oh, that's better. 21.

MATT: 21. This is definitely an enchanted hammer. You take time with it and focus, and once you feel the essence of attunement begin to drift into this hammer, you unattune from one of your other items and you will it. The hammer actually (shrinking) shrinks down into a small, light hammer. Ball-peen hammer.

TRAVIS: Smart move.

TALIESIN: I'll drop Animus for now.

MARISHA: Your coffee-stained artifacts.

LIAM: I dropped my travel mug.

MATT: So. Now with this tinier hammer in your grasp, you walk over and put the trammels on the anvil. You grab some of the chiseling implements, and the two of you together begin to work. And you're mainly there taking the hammer and driving the back of the chisel while he's guiding the design because you don't know what vision he has. So you've done all the groundwork. You've built the structure, the base plate for it. But you have all the intricate designs in the head that Ioun imparted with you. So now you almost go into a trance with the chiseling tools and you have three in your hands and you're juggling them behind and you're staring ahead. It's really weird to watch Percival go from this focused individual to staring off into space and his hands take over and begins moving the chisels along. Each one of them almost too fast for you to keep up and you get to the point where you're like (rapid hammering). Trying to keep up with him as he's moving along. As you do, you watch as this intricate scrolling begins to appear and dig itself into the side of each trammel. He rotates it with the tongs, moves into place, gets the chisel and removes it, rotates it again and as this continues, it gets faster and faster and faster. I need you to go ahead to make a tinkering check.

MARISHA: Do you want any Guidance?

TALIESIN: Oh, I'll take anything I can get.

LAURA: Cat's Grace is what, dexterity?

TALIESIN: Well, technically that's a dex check, so if you have Cat's Grace I'll take it.

MARISHA: Is it a dex check?


MATT: It's what you gave to Grog earlier.

MARISHA: Okay. Then I will give you Cat's Grace at 3rd-level because my 2nd-level spells are tapped. And so are now my 3rd-level spells. Nothing more.

TALIESIN: If you have any inspiration, I'll also take it.

SAM: Yes, sure. I'll give you some. I will sing to you. I will sing: bang bang, Percy's ball-peen hammer goes down, upon the ground! Bang bang, Percy's ball-peen hammer makes a really, really big sound. (vocalizing)

MATT: The actual heat from the Core Anvil is enough that when you hold the trammel against it, it gives it just enough of a malleable edge for you to go ahead and chisel through it without issue. As you're going, it's three checks: one for each trammel. So the first one?

TALIESIN: That's without inspiration. That's 31.

MATT: 31. (skittering, clanging) After about five minutes or so, you finish and grab one of the trammels and (clang) onto the ground. Begin on the other. (skittering)

TRAVIS: Slow down!

TALIESIN and MARISHA: (groan)

MARISHA: Try again. Inspiration it?

TALIESIN: I might be able to inspiration this because that was a really bad roll. Both of them are the same. Both of them are two. And this is not one of those things where I can fix. It's either good or it's bad.

LAURA: We might be able to fix it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and add a little bit of inspiration, maybe.


MARISHA: (groans)

TALIESIN: That's not very good. That's 17.

MATT: 17. Okay. The second trammel, as you're chiseling along, you feel as the metal (cracking) begins to bend and snap in one place. It's still one piece. (sighs) The DC has gone up, but you get one more shot at that one.

TALIESIN: Can I get one more inspiration if you got any? Are you all right?

SAM: I've used five, and I think I get six.

TALIESIN: Let's take another one. Just in case because Jesus fucking Christ.

MATT: The DC was 20. Now it's 25.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: If this fails, it's going to break a trammel.


LAURA: Oh my god!

TALIESIN: Please. I will happily take that inspiration, please.

SAM: All right. I will inspire you with some bullshit.

MARISHA: No one has any other type of Guidance or anything?

LAURA: I'm looking. I've got nothing.

TRAVIS: I don't have anything; I just hit things!

TALIESIN: It's a skill check. It's not a save. Oh wait. I don't get to add anything from the hammer for this?

MATT: No. The hammer is allowing the process to take place.

LIAM: Do we need to do this right now? Can we take nappies and come back?

TALIESIN: I think it has to be soft, right?

LIAM: You would have a whole other batch of inspirations in the morning.

SAM: Yeah, but he's got one more shot at this.

TALIESIN: I think we have to do it now, right?

MATT: The trance is there. It's up to you.

TALIESIN: Give me one more inspiration if you can, and we'll see where we go.

SAM: I will sing one more song to inspire you. I'll sing: Here's a little song I wrote! It's filled with inspiration note for note. Don't fuck up! Or I'll kill you!

(laughter)


MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: I don't feel good.

TRAVIS: One at a time.

TALIESIN: That'll do. 18, 28, 30.

MATT: 30.


TRAVIS: And we have the inspiration for the third one.


MATT: You managed to complete the scrolling on the trammel. The trammel is still noticeably fragile, but it seems functional. The enchantment will be channeled. So second trammel's done. Final check on the third and final trammel.

TRAVIS: Come on. Jesus.


MARISHA: This is so stressful.

TALIESIN: That's not bad. Yeah! So that's 34!

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Rolled a 12 on the inspiration dice.


MATT: With that, the feverish pace of the scrolling as you work across the final trammel, Grog, it's almost to the point where he'll move the chisel to a place, you'll hammer, move back and he's going too fast and he has to go back. And while he's not even looking at you, the chisel will clang multiple times across the side of it, telling you to fucking hit the back of it with the hammer. You take it and slam it, move along, eventually coming across each side of the spiraling trammel to completion. At that point, the hammer still in your grasp, you back away. Percival, you take it and the heated edge of it is burning into your hand a little bit and you walk over and drop it into the trough water. (sizzling) Turn around, drop it next to the third and final pieces.

TALIESIN: And I faint.

(laughter)

MATT: And as Percival hits-- He passes out onto the stairs, half-leaning onto the stairs. You catch him. Grog, you look at your feet where Percival left the last pieces and you reach down and pick up the three trammels. They're about that long, each of them, and they're like these heavy spikes that come to a gradual spiraling twist at the tip. They're covered in intricate, beautiful scrolling of some sort of arcane language that you are unfamiliar with, and you don't think you've been so proud to be part crafting anything like this before.

TRAVIS: These are obviously too dangerous for this world, and I walk over to the lava.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Kidding!

LAURA: This is a step up from fine leather boots, Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's true.

MATT: And with the completion of the trammels, this leg of your journey now complete, we're going to close tonight's episode. Good game. (sigh) We'll pick up this at GenCon next week at our live show.

MARISHA: So GenCon we're going to start with trying to get out of an active volcano?

TALIESIN: Well, I think we'll assume that we're going to take a mansion rest and we'll come out of a mansion rest. Can we assume that's going to be it?

MATT: If you want to take that point now, we'll say with the end of this episode you guys take a mansion rest? No?

TRAVIS: No?

LAURA: Or are you tapped out? Do you have any spells left, Scanlan?

SAM: I saved one level eight spell for such a thing.

LAURA: So we head into the mansion.

MARISHA: And I technically have one 7th-level spell, so if we want to go into the mansion and then I can Plane Shift us home, we can do that. Or wherever we want.


TALIESIN: So we can Plane Shift, mansion wherever we need.


TRAVIS: And if we go into the mansion, the first purple servant that hands me a salad, I behead unless it's a GoFiBePo.

MATT: So are you going to long rest and then Plane Shift or Plane Shift and then long rest wherever you land?

MARISHA: Plane Shift and then long rest.


LAURA: If we're in the mansion, he can't see us. So that's the only thing. It might be good to rest inside the mansion so he can't attack us before we attack him.

TALIESIN: Are we going straight to him?


LAURA: We don't know.

TALIESIN: All right. Mansion.

MARISHA: I will be burning my 7th-level spell at the top of the day instead of at the end.

TALIESIN: So let's Plane Shift somewhere and mansion.


MARISHA: Well, no. I can only Plane Shift us on this plane by basically hacking the spell because the mansion is another plane of existence. So I can't Plane Shift us on this plane. I have to plane to another plane.

TALIESIN: We need to rest. Let's rest. Yeah, ignore it.

MARISHA: We'll figure it out at GenCon. We'll figure it out in Indianapolis.

LAURA: Fuck it, we'll do it live!

TALIESIN and TRAVIS: We'll do it live!

MATT: All righty, then. So. We'll pick up there next week at GenCon. (exhales) All right, guys.

TRAVIS: That fucking giant sword-swinging bastard! Is he even wearing underpants under that? We don't know.

LAURA: No, he's not. I saw his balls. I saw his golden balls.

LIAM: It's a big iron pendulum swinging around.

TRAVIS: Legendary action: the nut swing.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh goodness gracious, we got to get all of our stuff. Do we need to bring our own binder to GenCon?

MATT: Yes, bring your binders. Bring your sheets. Otherwise, the rest of you, thank you for joining us, as always. Rest well. See you next week and is it Thursday yet? Good night.

TRAVIS: Beautiful map, Matt. That was amazing.

[music]

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