Critical Role Wiki

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Critical Role Wiki
Critical Role Wiki

List of Transcripts


MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of "Critical Role," where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Like that, every time. So before we get into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, which begins with our two sponsors for tonight, the first of which is Disney's Villainous game. Sam, if you don't mind?

SAM: Hey, this episode is sponsored by our pals at Ravensburger-- Rah-vens-burger?-- I don't know-- and their fun board game, Disney Villainous. It's a game where you play as your favorite Disney villain, and compete against others to reach your individual goals. And now you can get the core set, The Worst Takes it All, and two expansions, Wicked to the Core and Evil Comes Prepared, and mix and match your favorite Disney villains, including Captain Hook, King John, Scar, Evil Queen, and more. They also released some beautiful 1,000-piece puzzles using artwork from the game. [oohing and ahhing] To thank them for their sponsorship, I wanted to dress as my favorite Disney villain, the Evil Queen from "Snow White." But I couldn't find a costume, so I just asked for any Disney costume they had. And I am now evil villainous Chewbacca.


But I'm still going to read the bit that I prepared for the Evil Queen.


SAM: So just imagine that this costume is an Evil Queen costume.

TRAVIS: Oh, good, good.

SAM: And here we go. Mirror, mirror in my hand, who's the fairest Critical Role man?

MAXWELL: Chewie, Chewie in the chair, Matthew Mercer is most fair.

SAM: OK. OK, I totally get that. But who is second fairest after Matt?

MAXWELL: He's so stunning, when you see him, the second fairest is young Liam.



SAM: Forget the fairest thing, OK? Who is the cleverest man who plays?

MAXWELL: I-- I feel like you want me to say it's you. But I'd be lying, so I don't know what to do.


SAM: Just tell me I'm pretty, and we'll end this bit. Come on, Maxwell, fucking say it.


MAXWELL: Fine. This is weird, but sure. You're pretty. There, are you happy?

SAM: Yeah.

MAXWELL: God, why do you do this stuff to me? I just want to do my job. That's it, I'm calling HR. (yelling) Ed? Ed!


SAM: And scene. Don't forget to get all this great villainous stuff through Target at Bitly. Back to you, Matt.


MATT: Thank you, Sam.

LAURA: Go, Matt!

MATT: And our second sponsor for tonight are our friends who have been with us since begin him campaign two, D&D Beyond.

TRAVIS: (whooping) D&D Beyond!

MATT: Beyond the fact that they're just a great tool for digitally keeping track of your characters, your campaign, spells, creatures, the whole deal, they have an encounter builder that's out of alpha that's amazing. They've been a fantastic supporter of the show from the beginning, and thank you guys so much. They also have great articles that go up on their website written by, actually, some friends of the show, and they're all pretty damn brilliant. So thank you D&D Beyond. Keep up the good work. All right, Travis, you have an announcement to make, I believe?

TRAVIS: Yes! Yes! Oh, I'm going to grab my numbers here. Guys, we have nine days left in our November fund raising campaign with our friends at OSD. And since we have launched our campaign, we have banded together to raise $19,000 to help our military community. And we have a very special announcement tonight. My dear friend, Travis Frederick, center for the world champion soon-to-be Dallas Cowboys, legendary, all-time, woot-woot--

MATT: Real Travis.

TRAVIS: Travis Frederick has graciously offered to donate $500 for every natural one that we roll during the month of November.

SAM: The whole month?

TRAVIS: The whole month.

SAM: I thought it was just tonight!

TRAVIS: No, the whole month! [oohing and ahhing] And it's retroactive from the beginning, which means that we have now raised over $23,000, which is amazing.

MATT: Insane!

TRAVIS: Yeah, super, super gracious, generous, such a great guy.

MATT: I'm going to make you guys roll so much.

MARISHA: Holy fuck.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah. So if it sucks for us, it's for a good cause. [awwing] Thank you so much to everyone that's donated. Please can continue to share the message. The link is at Let's finish strong. We love you guys.


MATT: That's amazing

LAURA: So cool!

MATT: Travis, thank you so much. That is incredible. And thank you all for donating to this incredible cause. This is amazing. A huge epic congrats to our very own Laura Bailey for her nomination of Best Performance from the Video Game Awards for her role as Kait Diaz in "Gears 5." [CHEERING] Super proud of you, that's amazing.

LAURA: Thanks, you guys.

MATT: You can vote for your favorites at anytime before December 11th. So go and take a look at the list there. And if you happen to like what she did in the game, you can go ahead and vote for her as well.

LAURA: That's right!

SAM: I mean, just vote for her anyway. It doesn't matter if you liked what she did--

LAURA: There's other good performers in there.

SAM: No, just vote for her. It's fine.

LAURA: And vote for me.

SAM: Yeah.


TRAVIS: Vote for my wife!

MATT: I tried to be civil. [LAUGHTER] Our Austin live show is this weekend. [CHEERING] Two days from now. I've never prepared so many maps in one week. Super excited to see you guys there. It's our one shot, the "Adventures of the Darrington Brigade." It's part of our Kickstarter awards for the amazing animated series Kickstarter we did earlier in the year. Thank you guys so much for that, and for allowing this to happen. Please refrain from poiling-- posting spoilers-- not poiling. You can do that too, I guess--

TALIESIN: Poiling!

MATT: --from posting spoilers online if you're there at the live show. And for those who aren't able to attend, you can watch our live show on Friday, November 29th at 7:00 PM Pacific on our Twitch channel. And it will be available for VoD and on YouTube the following Sunday. So keep an eye out for that.

TRAVIS: No poiling.

LIAM: No spoil posters.

MATT: Do not poil anybody, please.

MARISHA: No poiling, please.

TALIESIN: Don't poil it. [LAUGHTER] Don't poil that spoiler.

MATT: I feel like this past month, my brain's just slowly turned to Swiss cheese from week to week, and language is leaving me. (SINGING) Language is leaving me. All right, sorry.


If anyone asks, this is a critter high. Next Thursday is the Thanksgiving holiday here in America. So for those who are not here and aren't aware of that, we will not be having a session next week on Thursday, because we'll be having the time with our families. Nor there will be an episode of "Talks Machina" the week after, Tuesday, December 3rd. So there's going to be kind of a week off for the holiday for us here in the US. But don't forget, we're going to kick back in the week after that, the first week of December. But wanted to wish all you guys an amazing holiday. We'll see you all the Thursday after that, and look forward to picking it up from there. So Laura, you had some announcements to make.


LAURA: Why, yes I do. So this one has been a long time coming. Me and Liam have been very excited about this for a very long time, by our very own Babs Tarr.

TRAVIS: Oh my--

LAURA: This is the Chastity's Nook presents--

TRAVIS: --God.

LAURA: --the Exandrian Calendar. Now I feel like I should point this out to you that it's not an actual workable calendar. It is the Exandrian calendar, so it's pretty much just like a useless object that you hang.

TALIESIN: It works in Exandria.

MARISHA: Blasphemy!

MATT: It does actually work.

LAURA: It does in Exandria, and you can follow along and see when things are, like you know, certain dates that are important. There's holidays in here. It's pretty awesome.

SAM: Couldn't you put some Post-its on it and make it work?

LAURA: You could put Post-it--

TALIESIN: Well, no, because it's got its own--

LAURA: I feel like I should sneak peek. Should I sneak peak one other page?

SAM: Yes.


LIAM: Just one extra, just one extra.

LAURA: Are you OK with me showing this one?

TALIESIN: Oh my god, yes, please.

LAURA: So this is the pinup of Molly.

TALIESIN: I have been waiting for this.

LAURA: I don't know if you can see this.

MATT: I love the Caduceus tea kettle.

LAURA: There's a little Caduceus--

TALIESIN: Caduceus teapot.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: It's so good.

LIAM: Do you spice?

LAURA: Is that how you say that?

MATT: Brussendar, yeah.

LAURA: Brussendar. So yeah.

MARISHA: Plenty of uses.

SAM: All of the images are as tantalizing as that one?

LAURA: Oh they're good!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, if not more.

LAURA: I can't show you more. But the other cool thing is that all of the pages are perforated, so you can tear them out and frame them. They're perfectly sized--

SAM: Oh, nice!

LAURA: --so you can just put them in a frame.

LIAM: Just put them on your ceiling.

LAURA: You just put them on--


Wherever you want.

TRAVIS: Babs is so good.

LAURA: So yeah, Babs is amazing.

TRAVIS: She's been working very hard.

LAURA: So that's pretty awesome. And then the other thing that we have in the store right now is our Whitestone dice set. [LAUGHTER] So like, you can go look at them I think they're showing them right now. They come in this really beautiful little case that we were really excited about. Because if you take off the lid, it works as a dice tray!

TRAVIS: And it's like a furry case, it's all soft--

LAURA: Yeah, it's velvety and fabulous, and it's got the Whitestone crest on it. And yeah, so they look like they're made of Whitestone, which I'm very excited about. Yeah. So there you go.

SAM: Wow!

MATT: That's awesome.

SAM: It's amazing.

LAURA: And they're both available in the US and the UK right now.


TRAVIS: They're gorgeous.

MARISHA: They're awesome.


MATT: Thank you, Laura. I believe--

TRAVIS: Oh my god, no way. There's got to be more.

MATT: I believe that's the end of our announcements, which means we--

MARISHA: No, there's like--

MATT: You get to jump in too.

MARISHA: --Christmas is on December 25th.

MATT: Tonight's episode--

MARISHA: Don't forget--

SAM: Don't forget to watch the-- [INTERPOSING VOICES]

SAM: --next Friday night.

LIAM: Love each other!

MARISHA: New episode of "Mini Primetime."


LAURA: Yeah, right?


MATT: This episode of--

LAURA: That's a good one.

TALIESIN: Goddamn!

MATT: --Critical Role.

[CHEERING] [THEME MUSIC] THEME SONG: Roll! Roll! That critical, critical roll, roll. That critical, critical roll. Vox. That critical, critical roll. Vox. Roll! Roll! That critical, critical roll. Mighty Nein! That critical, critical roll. Mighty Nein. That critical, critical roll. That critical, critical roll. (SINGING) The adventure begins. They were always beside you, your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you. And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead. Villains beware, 'cause you're about to be dead. They got magic and flair. They got falchions and cunning. They don't see over there, there's a monster incoming. Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice. Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice. Critical, critical. Roll the dice. Critical, critical. Roll the dice. Critical, critical. Roll the dice. Critical, critical. Roll the dice. Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul, as the legend unfolds, now it's your turn to roll!

Part I[]

MATT: Welcome back. Late on the draw there.


MATT: So let's get some proper music for this. Last we left off, the Mighty Nein-- goddamn it, Sam.


LAURA: This is new. Is this new?

SAM: Well, last time around, I wore a different Matt shirt.

TRAVIS: That music matches with that Hot Pepper Gaming face.

SAM: So I just changed. I changed the Matt shirt, but it's still a Matt shirt.

LAURA: You can see the sweat on the upper lip.


MATT: I'm going to remember that.


TRAVIS: Yeah, not the night to do it on.

MATT: No, it is not. It is not the night to do that.

LIAM: The day that Taryon Darrington fell.

MATT: So the Mighty Nein for quite some time have been chasing the tracks of the Angel of Irons, a somewhat new and esoteric cult that only whispers have been discovered about them, and what their plot was. You came to uncover that the Angel of Irons was a cover to trick these other people and cultists into helping the Chained Oblivion, Tharizdun, begin to unravel its bindings deep in the abyss. And chasing Obann, who had gathered three figures to what he referred to as his family, your companion, Yasha, the Laughing Hand, a terrible undying champion of Torog, and the Inevitable End, the Caedogeist, Jourrael. All three of them bound to his will, he carried them across Exandria, gathering things necessary to see this plot to fruition. Your last scry spell revealing them arriving in the capital city of Rexxentrum, in Wildemount. It seemed at this time that Vence, another cultist, had delivered some scrolls and information to a cathedral deep in the city. And whispers of a rather imminent moment. So rushing your way to Rexxentrum, asking for aid, you come to the rainy city, dark storm clouds overhead. You try and look for any sort of sign of where this cathedral might be, and upon arriving, finding out that the city is seemingly under attack at the same time by Kryn operatives. You hear what sounds like din of battle in the distance, though you've seen none directly. Is it just chaos to distract? Who knows? But you've gathered yourselves an ally, Pumat Sol, who has come along with you to deal with this scenario after he was attacked along with you in his house in Zadash. And you've stepped out from the Rexxentrum Archive of the Cobalt Soul into the wet, slick cobblestone streets of the city, heading eastward towards the base of the Shimmer Ward, where it is believed this cathedral, known as the Chantry of the Dawn, stands. So Mighty Nein, as you step out into the air above, you can hear the heavy elements of rain coming down from above, which I can do here with stuff, which is fun, with music. Pushing through, you can see the streets are seemingly deserted by most civilians. The few you see run confused, some of them out of curiosity, others out of fear. Crownsguard occasionally attempt to keep the peace among them. You hear quick rumors and demands for information from the crowd to the Guard, and none of them respond, continuing to push them into their homes or push them out of the way. You can hear shouts from congested neighborhoods at the peripheral of your watch as you go from intersection to intersection, heading east, deeper into the city, the tall roofs and climbing spires of the various buildings that surround and frame your continued travel looming atop, just almost cutting out the gray sky above. You can see ahead a group about 30 or so Righteous Brand that rushed past you northwards toward the Platinum Veranda, where you can hear muffled shouts and a chaotic echo of battle. Is there anything you want to do? Continue traveling eastward?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we fucking go towards the fray, right?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Well, wait-- towards the fray? I thought last time there was--

MARISHA: --to the chantry.

MATT: The fray you hear is to the north. You guys were heading eastward to the chantry.

SAM: Because that's where we saw them doing some sort of ritual in this cathedral.

LAURA: Yeah, we've got to go to the cathedral.

TRAVIS: No, can't be distracted, you're right

LAURA: The cathedral.

MATT: Your last glance you saw, there was-- of the storm clouds above us, a tiny sliver of light had broken through that framed the chantry.

SAM: And you just said something about the Platinum something?

MATT: The Platinum Veranda's a location in the city that's northward.

MARISHA: Platinum...?

SAM: Oh, okay, so we're not going that way. We're going--

TRAVIS: We're going east.

LIAM: Platinum Veranda.

TALIESIN: And we have we have alerted everyone we can possibly think of that the real target is to the east?

TRAVIS: No, we haven't, but we also don't belong here.

MATT: You mentioned what you've learned briefly to the Cobalt Soul before you exited.

LAURA: That's important.

TALIESIN: And did we tell them to send word to all of our people?

LAURA: Yes. We told them to send word to Allura, and to--

SAM: To Allura?

LAURA: Yeah, the Tal'Dorei Council.

TRAVIS: But we just said Rexxentrum. We didn't say where, right?

LIAM: The Shimmer Wards? Where did we touch down?

MATT: No, you guys touched down in the Tangles. It's the larger area. The specific area is called the Court of Colors.

LIAM: Ah, okay.

MATT: You being the only person who's been here, you know loosely the layout of the city. And you are the one who has the map, so you have to guide if anything gets more scattered.

LAURA: I could do it. It would use up a spell slot, but I could send a word to him.

SAM: Every block that we go on, I turn to Caleb and say, did you live here? Did you live on this block?

LIAM: I didn't, I didn't, no.

SAM: Did you ever do anything on this block? Is this like, where your school was, or anything?

LIAM: Caleb's eyes are darting everywhere, and he's at the head of the pack leading us towards the chantry, which I haven't seen.

MATT: Make a perception check, if you don't mind.

LAURA: Is the light still shining down on it from above?

MATT: It is. It's flickering in and out, like the clouds are closing past, and it breaks through every now and then. But it's like a singular ray.

LIAM: 15.

MATT: 15? Your eyes train on the rising walkways and towers of the Soltryce Academy that are peeking over the walls of the Shimmer Ward that you can just make out on the horizon as you pass by a series of buildings where the roofs are a bit lower than the other ones you've been rushing by. You can see pale yellow walls that surround the Shimmer Ward of the capital. You begin to approach the exterior of the Vigil Circle, which is a region between where you are and your destination, as noted by the network of ring-like streets that denote the circular marketplace, some varied shops, and industries that normally fill this area, as well as the mini-fortress of gray rock known as the Tower of Writ. But everything is closed. Everything is shut down.

LIAM: What was the Tower of Writ? That's not something I'm familiar with.

MATT: It's the central temple to Erathis within the city. It is not like the cathedral that you had seen within your vision. Two more larger bands of Righteous Brand soldiers begin shouting, (yelling) "Oh, over here!" They run past, and cross your path, and continue heading northward, also seemingly to join the rest northward.

LAURA: Should we tell them that there's--

TRAVIS: They're not going to believe us.

SAM: Also, do we want them to-- I mean, the Kryn are attacking, right?

MARISHA: We'd waste time trying to explain.

SAM: But why on earth would we want them to go kill the Kryn?

MARISHA: Well, we're supposed to just stop and try and convince them to stop?

LAURA: We just need to keep going. We're saying all this is as we're running.

MATT: You continue to rush down the street ahead of you. It splits at one point to go into one of the circular regions in the marketplace. You know, probably the shortest to the northward, and you just pick that because it's close the direction you're traveling. When you head a ways down before three Crownsguard come around the corner, and their hurried gait shifting in your direction, they raise their hand, and one of them goes, (yelling) "Please return to your homes! "We've everything under control."

LAURA: Yeah, our home is that way.

LIAM: We are out of sorts. We've a ways to go still.

MATT: "Then hurry up." You notice it first.

SAM: Huh?

MATT: This faint vibration in the ground beneath you.

TALIESIN: Everyone get ready.

MATT: You have just enough time to look to Caduceus, as he says this before you begin to feel the ground (rumbling).

MARISHA: Is it familiar?

LIAM: I cast Fly on myself.

MATT: You cast Fly on yourself?

MARISHA: Is it familiar to the purple worms we felt before?

MATT: You have that thought, and go, holy shit, this feels like a purple (whooshing).


Punching out of the ground about 15 feet from where you stand, sending one of the Crownsguard thrown from where he was standing about 15 feet, tumbling across the slick cobblestone. Bits of stone and earth go flying everywhere as you see, piercing under the ground, rising up, the gargantuan twisting form of an angry purple worm, its body covered in its signature hard dark purple scales, with spines piercing through each area where they meet. You can see the rows of teeth as it roars. In the sky and on its back, you can see chains and bits a metal that are put across them like barding. And holding on to it, you can see three Kryn soldiers that immediately leap off onto the ground, facing not you, but facing the Crownsguard. And you can see one of the Crownsguard tumble to the ground and (gasping) pulling back. And the other two are pulling their weapons, and they're shaking. What do you guys do?

SAM: Do we stop this?

MARISHA: How many attacks are confirmed? No, we--

LAURA: Do we just let them go? Do we just let them go!?

MARISHA: I say we keep going.

TRAVIS: I think we do, too.

LAURA: Oh my god. Be careful, you guys! Don't get hurt too bad.

MATT: As you say that, one of them turns and looks at your group. And this-- (whistle) and the worm then turns its head in your direction. So you guys-- are you continuing to run?

LAURA: Should we just try to keep running?

TALIESIN: Let's see if we maybe--

LAURA: Maybe we can bring the worm, and it'll bust through under the chantry. It would be good.

LIAM: We don't know how much longer--

LAURA: Running.

LIAM: Yeah, we just keep going.

SAM: Just keep going.

MARISHA: Running.

SAM: It's not our fight, right?

TRAVIS: Not yet, not if we can help it.

SAM: I don't even know who I'm rooting for.

TRAVIS: No, I don't either.

LIAM: Caduceus just asked how far we are from the chantry. Would I know that?

MATT: You would know you're probably about, I'd say, depending on-- with it being pretty empty, maybe seven minutes.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm going to cast Locate Creature for Yasha.

MATT: Okay, what's the range on that?

TALIESIN: 1,000 feet, but it lasts an hour.

MATT: Okay, there you go. So keep that mind. You guys continue to run?

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: All right. The Kryn soldier that jumped off and noticed you when you shouted is now giving a run in your direction.

LAURA: Why?!

MATT: Because they're attacking the city.


And the purple worm immediately (rumbling).

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: --burrows under the ground.

LAURA: Oh no.

SAM: Oh no, they're going to pop up again, aren't they?

MATT: You hear a few other screams, as it seems the two Crownsguard-- actually, it would be all three of them at this point-- are dispatched one after another by three Kryn soldiers.

MARISHA: Damn, they're good.

TRAVIS: We're going to feel dirty, no matter how this plays out.

MATT: The one that's chasing you is then behind, you can see the other two are now rushing up to join. No worm in sight, you keep running.

LAURA: Should we show them the symbol of the Bright--

MATT: And you keep running. And you keep running.

LIAM: No, we just keep moving.

MATT: Yeah, they're all following you guys, because you're the other marks-- they dispatched the Crownsguard easy enough.

TRAVIS: I will stop, and I'll turn around, and I'll pull out our symbol of the Bright Queen, and I'll run up and I'll say, stop! Leave us be, we have business at the Bright Queen. Back at your post.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: No one else can see this, right? It's just--

LAURA: Yeah, we're keeping our (murmuring).

SAM: There's no guards--

MATT: Make a perception check.


MARISHA: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

MATT: 23?



TALIESIN: Perception check 27, by the way.

MATT: 27, okay. You guys are keeping watch. I mean, there are guards running through. There is one that turns, and just sees the purple worm, which by the way, as you're having this conversation, about 10 feet from you (slamming sound). Slamming out of the ground, showering you with bits of rock and dirt. At that point, the guard turns, sees it, and just fucking bolts the other way. The first soldier comes, weapon drawn, and as you're holding up the symbol, rushes. And you can see his form shift as a shadow version of himself splits, and flanks around you.

LAURA: Whoa, yes.

MATT: You've seen this once before in the sewers of Zadash long go.

TRAVIS: God, so long ago.

MATT: And as it rushes towards you, and you hold the symbol and say this, it falters, and then stands and looks. And you see it caught in the moment. The two other ones catch up. You can see they both have their weapons drawn, and they see you stopping. And they look taken aback by what you're holding, and the fact that the one who was guiding this charge has stopped. His weapon goes slack a bit.

TRAVIS: I hold it up. I slide it beneath my armor. Hurry. I'll head back.

MATT: He turns back and says something in Undercommon, and the purple worm, which is currently in a holding position, looking at them and looking at you, begins to turn in your direction, and gives a shout out-- do any of you guys understand Undercommon?


SAM: I've got Overcommon.

MATT: No, no. It's like, (speaking Undercommon). And the purple worm turns back to him, and then they all leap onto its back, and then it (whooshing) burrows back into the ground. There went that encounter.


TRAVIS: Remember that.

LIAM: Muad'dib.

MATT: Continuing on, you begin to see that ray of sun is your beacon, bringing you closer and closer, you guiding this charge. You hear more shouts, you hear an explosion in the distance, just a muffled echo across the city, uncertain of necessarily the direction or the intensity of it. That's when you also hear the (singing) bong.

TRAVIS: The fucking bells. They're ringing the fucking bells.

MATT: (singing) Bong.

LAURA: Or the war bells.

MARISHA: An attack on them.


MATT: (singing) Bong.

MARISHA: Alarming the city.

MATT: (singing) Bong.

SAM: Oh, maybe it's just like 12:00.

LIAM: Is it a sound that I've ever heard?

MATT: This is a sound that you've not heard, but you are aware that throughout the city, there are bells set everywhere for the purposes of alerting everybody who may not be aware. That it's not just there's a problem. This is danger, we're under attack. And so now this has been declared, and you hear (bonging).

MARISHA: Careful, there's about to be full-on pandemonium.

MATT: Just echoing across the city.

MARISHA: Let's all stay close. This is when people could start to riot.

LIAM: We just have to cut through it quickly.


MATT: Rain-slicked, soaked to the bone, you all rush around one of the large-- large military structures on this corner here that is small for like a large stronghold. But it's a place here. (laughter) Medium.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: We'll go with that one. You know what I mean. To see what you recognize as the Chantry of the Dawn. It is a massive cathedral, and you're immediately taken aback by the beautiful masonry and sculpture work that comprises this opulent structure that stands before you. High-reaching stone arches that are housing towering stained glass windows that depict various stages of the sun in the sky. Statues of ten-foot tall armored soldiers are set into pillars, like celestial guardians. And you can see there it goes up multiple stories that climb into this great spire that climbs into the raining sky. Every square foot of the exterior is tailored with subtle carvings of vines and leaves framing the powerful supports, all reaching upward towards the stretching rays of the sun upon each of these depictions. (singing) Bong, bong, da-dong. The bells still going off in the area. You come to the 15-foot tall doors the front of the chantry.

LAURA: Should we go in?

TALIESIN: Am I feeling anything yet?

MATT: Feeling anything-- Yes, you are.


TALIESIN: She's here.

LAURA: She's here?

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: She's here?

TALIESIN: I should be able to also pinpoint what direction she is from us, and if she's moving.

MATT: She is moving. She is within and below.

LAURA: Oh god! Oh god, we're going to fight them all? Oh god, I'm gonna throw up.

TALIESIN: They're on the move.

LIAM: Is anyone or anything watching this entrance that we can tell?

MATT: From the outside, no.

TRAVIS: Ah, ha, ha!

MARISHA: All right. All right.

SAM: It's time to fucking kill Yasha.

LAURA: No. No!

SAM: Let's do it!

LAURA: No, we're going to save her.

MARISHA: Are we going to bust through here, or do we want to try and do a perimeter run?

TRAVIS: Alternate, yeah. If people are expecting pressure to come through, we should try and find a more subversive way in.

LIAM: Is there anything on this door?

SAM: Sure, I'll go check, just in case, while you figure out a side entrance.

MARISHA: Does it look like-- how big is--

TRAVIS: You go left, I'll go right.


SAM: I'm checking for traps.


MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Terrible. 19.

MATT: 19.

LIAM: Pretty good.

MATT: You don't sense any traps, but it is definitely locked. And it's like a big lock, like the key you imagine probably is about that long, and the metal is very thick. Mind you, you've dealt with locks like that before. But just as a note, it is a larger lock.

SAM: I will start unlocking it while they're scouting.

TRAVIS: She breaks left, I'll break right.

MATT: All right, as you guys turn the corner, you can see there's some small windows in the sides of what's almost like an entry way, almost like a foyer to the entire chantry. The building then opens up into what would be considered the main church-like center of the cathedral. This is where it grows into the spire above. And you can see on the outside, the windows begin-- again, like the ones you saw in the beginning-- the stained glass rises up for 40 feet, with beautiful color patterns of stars that frame the sun in different visual bits of splendor. And a bit of warm light is now coming down into this area, hitting the stained glass. The rain stops, as you curl around the side, and find a small pocket where the storm doesn't seem to be affecting you. You come around the back side, and it's just almost solid stained glass on the back end, except for the stone arches that hold the entire structure up.

TRAVIS: Any of those windows that we passed-- are we able to slide up and just put one eye over the corner and peer in?

MATT: The windows you see are actually about eight feet off the ground, and they're circular, with a stained glass window pane put in there.

LAURA: I'm going to take my paint out. I'm going to paint a little hole in the wall, so we can get a peephole.

LIAM: Last time we tried to break into the church of Pelor it didn't go so well.

TRAVIS: One of the sides of the door?

TALIESIN: That's true.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: For the front door, you mean?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah. The temple of Pelor.

MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage.

SAM: I'm also just picking the lock, not opening it.

LAURA: Oh, guide me!

SAM: Also 19. 19.

LAURA: A 20.

MATT: 20? Okay, 19.

SAM: It's a big lock.

MATT: It's a big lock, and it's more intricate than you expected. The door does not open.

MARISHA: When I'm doing the perimeter run, are there any cellar entrances, anything that looks like hatches that go down?

MATT: Make a perception check. You're glancing through. You look inside, and you can see some candelabras that are arranged. There's a raised platform with a bit of a red carpet on it. It looks to be a desk or some sort of a wide, beautifully carved table that's meant for greeting people who enter the chantry. You do see two figures that stand at the top of that platform. And they're both in the process of looking through drawers or papers there. They both look to one side, as if they're hearing something. And you can hear very faintly a little bit of voices coming through the hole. And then one of them gets out of your perspective of the peephole, and that's all you see.

LAURA: What did that people look like that were--

MATT: They are heavily cloaked, wearing a piece of cloth across the front of the face. The hood and cloak they're wearing is a dark gray color. Generally meant to look inconspicuous, but also to hide any sort of representation of who they are.

LAURA: There are people in there rifling through things.

LIAM: I'm going to throw my back away from the temple, and squat down and pull out the pearl, and place it to my forehead and cast Fortune's Favor upon myself, hidden under my cloak.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: I rolled a 20 total.

MATT: A 20 total? You do a pass, and you're looking for the same?

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: You need to roll perception as well.

TRAVIS: Good, 20.

MATT: Okay, two 20s. You guys come around the opposite sides, and meet each other. And you look about. There is no cellar. It looks like whatever entrances there are here are designed to be either purely that front, or you haven't seen where they are.

TRAVIS: Fuck, a fucking fortress.

SAM: (drawling) There's no basement at the Alamo!

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: You could turn that peephole into a--

MARISHA: Do we get around to the back, and meet each other?

MATT: Yeah, you guys meet up on the opposite side after doing your scan.

TRAVIS: Anything?

MARISHA: No, you?

TRAVIS: Nothing at all?


TRAVIS: The windows are eight feet in the air!

MARISHA: I can't fucking jump.

MATT: A sheet of rain comes through, as the beam of light gets partially interrupted.

LAURA: Can I look through the peephole and see-- is there any area of the chapel that looks like it's hidden behind pews, or maybe behind-- if I look at along the walls, does it look like there's area-- is it hidden behind pillars, maybe?

MATT: From what you can see-- you can only see the front chamber. You can't look into the main cathedral room. It's only this antechamber that you enter first.

LAURA: Does it look like it's blocked? Is anybody looking into this right now?

MATT: From what you can see, which is just this little perspective-- you can see the center of the room and that raised platform. Nobody sees you, but there are people that are essentially looking towards the front door.

LAURA: Okay. If I moved along the side, would I be able to-- I want to paint a little crawl space to get in.

MATT: You can do that.

LAURA: But I want to do it out of eyeshot of what I can see through the peephole.

TRAVIS: So terrible.

SAM: What do you want to do?

TRAVIS: The front door is a fatal funnel.

TALIESIN: Doggie door on the other side.

LAURA: I mean, I can go along the side, we can go further along.

LIAM: Yeah, for sure, for sure.

LAURA: Yeah, let's go towards the back, and I'll do the same thing there.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: We'll run into them as we're--

MATT: Okay, so are you guys going with Jester then?


SAM: Yes!

MATT: Okay, so you've all gathered up on the right or left side of the cathedral.

TRAVIS: Call it.

LAURA: Right.

MATT: Okay, so you go on the right side of the cathedral. You meet up with them. You come around, Beauregard, but you're pretty quick on your feet anyway, so you actually get there about the same time. You all meet up off to the right side and a little further back. You're at the cusp where the wall would be that leads into that main chamber or into the cathedral. You can see there's like a heavy wall that blocks the two. So if you're going to make-- did you want to paint a crawl space?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Where do you want to paint it?

LAURA: Where do you think? Which side? Big side? Front space?

SAM: Back side.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Back side.

MATT: So the large cathedral?

SAM: Yeah, away from the door.

LAURA: Where the people are?

MATT: The people you saw are inside the antechamber.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, then yes.

SAM: The main space.

LAURA: In the main space.

TRAVIS: You want to go deep, but yeah.

SAM: Away from here?

MATT: Here, I'll give you a visual perspective.


TRAVIS: I love that segue!

LAURA: That's how I want it!

TRAVIS: How about a visual perspective?

TALIESIN: Visual aids!

SAM: This visual perspective is brought to you by Dwarven Forge Combat Cam. They will be at PAX Unplugged over the first weekend in December. Go say hi at the Die Hard Dice booth, and follow along on social, @dwarvenforge on Twitter.

LAURA: Also an awesome dice company.


MATT: You guys were in this front area.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: You have made a peephole here, which means you're able to look in and see this area with the desk and the raised platform and the candelabra. So you saw two figures up here are going through the desk and keeping a watch. One of them walked this way out of your peripheral and out of sight, and that's all you've seen.

TALIESIN: So we went to the right?

MATT: You guys went around this side now. You're over in this pocket.

LAURA: Okay, so we could go around that wall--

SAM: We could go around. Or we can come in this far.

MATT: This is the extension of the main cathedral. So this is the initial chamber. And then you could go around or though here, and this would lead into the main cathedral.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, we'll keep going back?

LIAM: Further in.

LAURA: Further in.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Further back.

MATT: Okay, so you come a little further here. And where do you want to draw it?

SAM: How do you want to paint this?

MARISHA: How do you draw this? (laughter)

LAURA: I'll do it at that wall right there.

MATT: Right here?

LAURA: Yeah, in the corner.

MATT: Okay, so you take out your paints. There's still water dripping off of the roof here.

LAURA: Cover me so I can't--

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: So it keeps me dry. I need to keep my paints dry.

TRAVIS: And I'll take my cape and just hold it over.

MATT: Okay. And so what crawl space do you paint?

LAURA: I'm going to paint a crawl space small, just big enough for all of us to be able to fit through. You can get pretty low to the ground, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Likely, I'll have to crawl.

LAURA: Okay, yeah.

SAM: Looks like a good place for a traveler's gate to be.

LAURA: Aww, I like it. Yeah, I'll write Traveler's Gate along the top. And then it's going to be like a little--

MATT: Okay. You go ahead and finish your detailed art and create a little open crawl space. As you finish the details on it, you watch. And it's wild, because you look at it, and it's almost like your eyes are blurred from it, or you're not focusing. And then once your eyes focus again, it's like there was always an opening there.

SAM: Wow!

MATT: It's wild, and as you make your way in, it is indeed a crawl space that you could all fit through one by one. So what's the marching order?

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: Go in and scout around first?

TRAVIS: Sneaky as fuck right?

SAM: All right, I'll turn invisible.

MARISHA: Check for traps.


LAURA: What would be this--

SAM: Well, there's no trap here.

LAURA: Two feet by three feet?

LAURA: No, that's probably high, like two by two?

MATT: Two by two is what you would do, yeah.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

TALIESIN: I'm going to have to elbow it, but yeah.

LIAM: And spikes that come down.

MATT: Right, if or when you guys want to go through, what is the marching order? Who's going in first?

SAM: I'm going in first.

MATT: Nott's going first. Who would be after Nott?

TRAVIS: Rolling in second.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I'll go after Fjord.

LAURA: I'll go behind Beau.

TALIESIN: I'll go behind Laura.

TRAVIS: Laura?

LAURA: Who's Laura?

TALIESIN: Well, Jester, fine.


MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (singing) Caleb takes the rear.

MATT: And then Pumat will come in after you guys.

LAURA: Yay, Pumat! Will Pumat fit?

MATT: Yeah, if Caduceus can fit. He might have a momentary Winnie the Pooh moment, but he'll eventually make his way through.

LAURA: (singing) Pumat, we need the Pumat.

MATT: As you're painting this and finishing up, Pumat's like, "Well, I'm not going to lie, that's really impressive. By the way, how did you stop that worm thing?"

SAM: Oh!

TALIESIN: That's a conversation for later.

SAM: We have a counterfeit badge.

LAURA: Yeah, it's like a secret--

MATT: "Okay. Well, we'll talk later."

LAURA: Okay, yeah.

MATT: "That's just really impressive. Confusing, but impressive."

TRAVIS: Explain later.

MATT: All right, so you head in first. You're waiting for Nott's go? Or are you going immediately after Nott?

TRAVIS: I'm going after Nott.

MATT: Okay.


MATT: All right. Stealth check for both you.

LAURA: Are you waiting, or are you going right after?

TRAVIS: Oh, no, no, no, yeah. No, I'm just like putting my head down. I think we're all cramming into the doorway, yeah.

MATT: Stealth check with advantage, please.

TRAVIS: I will also summon the sword.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I will cast See Invisibility.


MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: So I can track Nott in the room.

LAURA: (oohing)

MATT: You got it.

SAM: I'm just doing this.



TRAVIS: She's hurt herself. Oh no! She's dead, we should leave.


SAM: All right, I'll roll for stealth. Plus two-- 27.

MATT: 27? Okay. As you carefully step in, you enter what is a beautiful religious space. It's similar to when you first entered the Bright Queen's corridor, just that overwhelming beauty, though very different. Whereas that was a very cold white light, this cavernous church chamber is a glorious hall of towering stone walls draped in red velvet banners, chiseled detailed framing around the numerous 40-foot tall stained glass windows. You see murals of holy stories depicted across them with Pelor iconography brought to warm life by colorful beams of sunlight that are coming from that one particular shaft that makes its way into the cathedral. It engulfs the interior in this warmth, this hearth-type feel, which is very conflicting with the people that hold the inside. You do notice in the center, there is a raised central platform that holds an altar to the Dawnfather, as well as candelabra arranged around it. You can see a series of pews that are aligned back. You can see there are two large towers that rise up in the middle of the chamber, with balconies. And there are a set of raised royal seats towards the back that face the entire inside, with stairs that raise up to them. You can see about eight figures similarly cloaked to the ones that you saw in there, as well as an older woman in red, gold, and silver, Cardinal Respa--

SAM: (whispering) Oh shit!

MATT: --currently at the altar, and is in the process of reciting something in a low, muttered voice.

SAM: Do I know that you cast See Invisibility? So I'm just going to say, like--

TRAVIS: Nine people. 10 people. Eight-- no, eight. (laughs) Eight people.

LIAM: Second syllable, sounds like?

TRAVIS: Medusa is inside? Yes. Apparently, there are eight people inside, and one crazy woman with weird hair.


LAURA: Oh, I bet that's the lady that I saw.

TRAVIS: Who did you see?

LAURA: She had really fucked up hair.

TRAVIS: What does she do? What do we know about her?

LAURA: She looked like the old lady that ran the place or something.

MARISHA: How do we mean fucked up? Like bad breakage and damage?


LAURA: Yeah, it was really frizzy. I feel like Nott would notice, you know?

MARISHA: Okay, yeah.

LIAM: What's the plan? We're interrupting this?

LAURA: I mean, I don't know. Probably? I don't know.

MARISHA: Does Nott see Yasha? Does Nott see Yasha?

MATT: Yasha is not in this room.

TALIESIN: No, I would say, because I've got a bead on--

LAURA: Can you feel where Yasha is?


LAURA: Where is she?

TALIESIN: Underground?

MATT: As you continue to look around, you can see towards the very back of the chamber, behind the altar, there is a stone entryway, with a metal door that is closed. And it seems to slope downward, indicating a passageway that leads deeper beneath the cathedral.

SAM: And she's doing a ritual right now?

TRAVIS: On this map, is that altar back towards you, or--

MATT: Why don't I show you?


MARISHA: Blasting through maps!

TALIESIN: Map blasts!

TRAVIS: Here's the thing, now we only have one point of entry to get all eight of us in in a hurried fashion, versus two.

MARISHA: And then across the room?



SAM: This other map is also brought to you by Dwarven Forge.

TRAVIS: So we only have one point of entry.

SAM: Go say hi--

TRAVIS: We'd have all eight in real fast and fan--

SAM: --at PAX Unplugged--

TRAVIS: --versus two and flank. (laughter)

SAM: --the first weekend of December.

LIAM: But she's mid-whatever she's doing?

SAM: @dwarvenforge.

TRAVIS: Oh what?

SAM: What!

LAURA: What the shit?

LIAM: Stunning! Stunning!

SAM: You know what? We skip this room, too.

TRAVIS: (yelling) Oh, light it up! Pretty!


TRAVIS: Matt, what the fuck, man?

MATT: I've been feeling crafty. So to give you a little bit of a heads up at the location that you know, Nott.

LAURA: Oh my gosh!

SAM: I know not.

TRAVIS: (maniacal laughter)

SAM: Whoa!


LAURA: These guys are really powerful.

TRAVIS: There's the way down. Oh fuck, fuck.

MARISHA: Where? Where's the way down?

TRAVIS: Behind the altar is that stair down.

MARISHA: Oh fuck! Oh, there's no way.

TRAVIS: I'm sure they're all just like base level fighters.

LAURA: Maybe we can set a distraction of something.

TRAVIS: They're probably just really, really--

MARISHA: What's with this guy? He's got like a sickle.

TRAVIS: You know, these balconies probably have more fuckers in them too, I'm just going to say.

LAURA: Can we send a distraction in?

MARISHA: Maybe we can get up in the balcony and send a distraction.

SAM: I'm in there already. I can distract.

MATT: So Nott--

LAURA: Are there doors leading to the balconies?

MARISHA: What do we do?

TRAVIS: Yes, there are little doors underneath the balconies that might be a winding thing, or at least there is on the one that's closest to you.

MATT: So Nott, you've come in through-- you guys have been on this side here.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: So you've come through, and you're in this far corner right there.

LAURA: Whoa, I'm so close to a person, ah!

MATT: There's an individual right to the left, and you see them looking, occasionally checking in. Every now and then, you'll hear the rattling of keys. And one of the doors over there, which opens up into the previous chamber-- somebody pokes through and asks, "Nothing yet? “Best we hurry," and locks it again behind him.

SAM: And can I just watch the ritual for a second, and just see like-- does it seem like it's crescendoing or anything, or is it just an even chant?

MATT: You listen to it, and the phrases are less of a-- you don't sense any magic. It seems like it's a sermon.

SAM: Sermon? Okay.

MATT: Speaking of-- you hear the old woman go, "And it was upon this day that the Angel rose up and gifted upon us our boons for what we've given, for what we have sacrificed by the family below. They will break the first of many chains. And soon, the Angel will give unto us what we have earned." And they're all listening intently, while also keeping an eye out on the room.

SAM: Shit.

LAURA: (whispering) Murder through the throat, just like we did that guard up top.

LIAM: They're talking about breaking the chains of the Chained Oblivion. Cut it off now.

MARISHA: Should we try and stealth in and surround and ambush, and get the jump?


MARISHA: I don't know!

TRAVIS: It doesn't look like there's any cover.

SAM: I'm going to slowly just walk that way in the room, away from the entrance point, as slow and stealthy as possible.

MATT: Okay, you're still on the stealth check that you rolled.

TRAVIS: If she can draw attention to other side of the room?

MATT: You are invisible. As you get across to that pillar over there, you do stop and look back, and you see there's a slight trail of water from the rain that you've taken.

SAM: Oh shit!

MATT: Nobody seems to notice.

LIAM: You say you want a distraction the far side of the room?


LIAM: I can take care of that.

TRAVIS: All right.

LIAM: Give me 30 seconds. And I start walking fast along the side of the temple towards the back.

MATT: Back this side, you mean?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: He's alone.

LAURA: Where's he going?

MATT: So you come around this end.

LAURA: Where's he going?

MATT: You're now on the outside of the cathedral.

LIAM: 20 seconds later, 30 seconds later, 40 seconds later, a massive Cat's Claw slams through the center stained glass window.

MATT: Right here?

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Oh, ho, ho, ho! Okay!

MATT: (crashing) Breaking into the space here, it now sits-- we'll say right up and over here.

LAURA: That's one way to do it.

SAM: I guess we're going.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we rolling in the deep.


MATT: All right, so the Cat's Claw--

TRAVIS: Talk to me, Adele!

MATT: --crashes through. (crashing) Bits of glass come raining down from above, as the entire thing falls in on itself. The sunlight comes through and shines bright onto the center pillar. All of them spin and turn to look up, and see the mystical claw. What do you guys do?

TRAVIS: As soon as I hear the smash, I'll push through.

MARISHA: And I follow.

MATT: Well, now it's time to take initiative, because you've now initiated combat.

LIAM: What do you mean?

SAM: Yeah, we don't know if that's a friend or a foe.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Just one normal roll.

TRAVIS: I meant to roll this for initiative. I used to have it.

MARISHA: Ooh, that's garbage!

TALIESIN: That's garbage.

TRAVIS: Good, good, good, good. Any natural ones?

TALIESIN: Well, there's a natural one on my end.

TRAVIS: Yay, natural one, Taliesin!


TRAVIS: OSD thanks you, man.

MARISHA: Oh, that's terrible.

SAM: Hey, that's great!


MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Man, fuck.

SAM: $500!

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Wow!

TRAVIS: Thank you, Travis Frederick.

ALL: Thank you, Travis Frederick.

LAURA: So cool!

TALIESIN: For softening the blow of my pain, you guys.

TRAVIS: He's a good guy. Good dude.

LAURA: Hey, that softens the blow of the snake eyes that you got last session.

TALIESIN: Oh, it does a little bit, it's true.

MATT: So 25 to 20.

LAURA: 24.

SAM: 23.

LIAM: He said 25 to 20.

MATT: So Jester, you got 24?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: And then you had--

SAM: 23.

MATT: 23. 20 to 15?

LIAM: 17.

MATT: 17.

MARISHA: Right on.

TRAVIS: Wow, the rest of us are fucked.

MARISHA: Well, I'm fucking--

TRAVIS: Ah, ah, ah, ah!

MARISHA: It's supposed to be what I'm good at.

MATT: 15 to 10?


TRAVIS: 10. Yeah, yeah, Just breathe it in. Breathe it in, Caduce.

MATT: Caduceus?


MATT: All righty. As soon as the glass shatters, everyone turns and looks. You watch as Cardinal Respa turns and sees it, and moves her fingers like this, and then shouts. And the magic that she summons causes her voice to boom loudly. You recognize this as a Thaumaturgy cantrip. She says, "You who intrude on sacred ground and ceremonies shall be struck down! Bathed in his blinding light, the Angel rises unseen. Let their children come!" And then she stomps the ground, and the ground just suddenly quakes.

LAURA: Fuck.

MATT: All right. Top of the round, Jester?

LAURA: Should not have done that!

MATT: What are you doing, Jester?

LAURA: I'm going to Invoke Duplicity.

MATT: You are all currently outside over here.

LAURA: Yeah. And I'm assuming they're all looking at the window, right?

MATT: They're all looking at the window at the moment, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to send my duplicate in.

SAM: (like Jester) My duplicate.

LAURA: And she's soundless. So this person is distracted. I'm going to have her come along the wall and come back here, like behind the person.

MATT: Create her behind the person. Okay.

LAURA: Yeah, and then I'm going to--

MATT: So that's your action.

LAURA: Yeah. I'm going to try to sneak in.

MATT: Okay, make a stealth check.

LAURA: Jesus Christ, guide me! Oh no, I can't do that, can I? That's an action. I'm not going to guide me. 14.

MATT: Okay. You only move half speed, because you're going quietly.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: That puts you in, one, two--

LAURA: I'm just going to crouch down right next to where we came in at. I'm going to be next to that bench.

MATT: Okay. You come in and lean against the bench.

LAURA: Can my duplicate have gone further?

MATT: Sure, let that happen.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Okay. So that comes into the visual perspective now. The person who's right here is looking up, and in the peripheral, they see the duplicate moving.

LAURA: Like running over this way?

MATT: Yeah, so they turn and go--

LAURA: They're looking from right here.

MATT: --and shout, "Intruder!" Some of them look back.

LAURA: I want it to seem like she came through the door.

MATT: Right, they all look and they see that, and a few of them look to you.

LAURA: Goddamn it.

MATT: So that's your move, and that's your action. Bonus action, or are you good?

LAURA: That's it.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn. Next is Nott. Nott, you are over here behind. You see Jester sneak in and create the illusory duplicate of herself. Come in, and then you notice that people seem to have spotted the illusion, and possibly, her. What do you do?

LAURA: Well, hold on, I can do a bonus. I can do a spell for my bonus action.

SAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: But I just feel like it's going to make a noise.

SAM: They already see you.

LAURA: They already see me, that's the thing.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're going.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon at 2nd-level.

MATT: Where are you going to drop it?

LAURA: Right over the head of that person.

MATT: Right here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm just going to bring it down.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for an attack.

LAURA: 27.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: It's not an eight. Oh, Jesus. Eight points of damage.

MATT: Eight points of damage. Whack! Hit over the head, and looks back towards where it came from, and sees a large--

LAURA: It looks like my duplicate cast it. Yeah.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Just so you know.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: All my spells come from the duplicate.

MATT: Right, understood. So after getting whacked in the head by the lollipop mystically floating in the air, they're noticing the duplicate, looks at it, sees somebody shouting intruder, and looks around and is just really confused. That person doesn't quite notice you at the moment. But others up here seem to. All right, Nott, what are you doing?

SAM: Full movement, a sort of back diagonal towards the claw, basically, as far as I can get.

MATT: 35, right there.

SAM: Oh. Well, then as I'm moving, I will-- shit, should I reveal myself?

LAURA: Maybe you can shoot, and then hide behind a thing.

SAM: Well, that's what I was going to do, but they'll still see me. All right, as I'm moving, I will shoot at Cardinal Respa.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Come on!

MATT: You have not been noticed by her, so you have an advantage in the attack roll.

SAM: Yes, great!


SAM: 29 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits.

SAM: Yes! All right, let's see what we get. Not the greatest.

TRAVIS: Nott the greatest.

SAM: 24 points of damage.

MATT: Ooh!

SAM: What if we fight more people? I'll just leave it at that, and then I will-- so you say I can get to there, but I can't bonus action hide, right?

MATT: No, because you have--

SAM: I'm not behind anything.

MATT: And you've revealed yourself now with the attack.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: And as you fire, you watch as Cardinal Respa, who currently saw the smashing glass, heard intruder, turned and saw Jester. You were noticed by the cardinal. And you can see as she begins to cast-- or beginning the process of thinking about a spell to release before (groaning) in the side, and she reaches back, the two other guys behind her-- there are three that are watching her-- suddenly go, and look in your direction, seeing the source of where it comes from, and they immediately see you appear. And there's nowhere to hide from them.

SAM: Well, then I will use my bonus action to dash the full movement back behind, and just keep going around the circle.

MATT: 30-35, that's as far as you can you get there. Okay? Unless you want to be up against the wall.

SAM: I'll be against the wall, yeah.

MATT: All right, there you go. All right, that finishes Nott's go. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: I need to understand what I see from outside. Is that window ground level or high above me?

MATT: This?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: When you shattered it, you shattered it low. And then the top part mostly broke, though there's still parts of it up there, but there's like hanging broken bits, and it's jagged. You could carefully get through--

LIAM: Can walk through is what I'm asking, or is it up and in?

MATT: You could certainly try. It looks like there's anywhere between two to three feet of broken, jagged stained glass there. But you could try kicking it out. You could try and climb through it.

LIAM: Instead, for my bonus action, I will pull the Cat's Claw down through that jagged glass, cracking out as much as possible near the bottom. And I'll use the Claw to push me the distance up into the building. Forceful Hand pushes, and I will have to save against it.

MATT: Right, so you're back here, or all the way to the back?

LIAM: Yeah, I'm right where I poked through.

MATT: All right, sorry.

LIAM: So just to scoop me up and in, if possible.

MATT: I'll allow it. That'll be your action to do that.

LIAM: The Cat's action or my action? Because it's a bonus action once it's cast.

MATT: Oh, it's a bonus action to have it attack and move?

LIAM: Yeah, on subsequent turns. So I did the spell before combat started.

MATT: Right, right.

LIAM: This is a new turn, so it's a bonus action for it to do whatever it's going to do, according to the spell.

MATT: Right. I'm just trying to remember, is it attack and you can move it on a bonus action? Or is it one or the other?

SAM: Going to the book!

LIAM: I believe it can move and attack.

MATT: Just double checking.

LIAM: As a bonus action on your subsequent turn, you can move the hand up to 60 feet, and then cause one of the following effects with it.

MATT: Gotcha. Okay, cool. Yeah, so it scoops through, clears out the bottom of the glass, picks you up, and then lifts you.

TALIESIN: It moves fast! 60 feet.

LIAM: 60 feet, yeah.

MATT: It's pretty quick.


SAM: Wow, Matt!


LAURA: That is cool! You've got two of them?

MATT: Yep, it's a backup. And it lifts you through.

SAM: A backup!

MATT: I would say after clearing all that out, scooping you up and bringing you in, it has maybe like 10, 15 more feet.

LAURA: Riding in on a giant cats hand.

LIAM: Oh, I'm so-- well, I come scooping up in here and get the lay of the land in like three seconds, and from the claw, you see my hands come out and go (whooshing). And a ball of fire from the guano and sulfur pours out my hands, and I throw it centered maybe to that side of the altar by her right, by Respa's right side.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Fucking light them up!


MATT: To whereabouts?

LIAM: This side of her.

MATT: This side of her?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So right there?

LIAM: Yeah, right there.

MATT: You're trying to get all of them in it?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right, go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: I believe in you.

LIAM: Yeah, so am I.

MATT: It just detonates in the center of the explosion, resounding through the flames, causing in the middle the air, this pure sphere of burning fire, the bottom of it just being cut off on the top of the pillar, and just engulfs everything up there.

LIAM: And this is at 4th level.

TRAVIS: I love how the high level spells make you out of breath when you cast them.


MATT: The cardinal's at 19, so she's--

MARISHA: There's so much on the line!

SAM: She made her save?

MATT: She did.

LIAM: 18, 24.

MATT: What's this?

LIAM: 30 points of fire damage.

SAM: Nice, nice, nice!

LIAM: No, that's one more.

MATT: 31?

LIAM: 36 points of fire damage.

MATT: 36? Nice. All right, so she takes half damage, she succeeds. He takes half damage there. And he fails and takes full.

TRAVIS: 18 is great on that. It just looks awesome.

MATT: (whooshing)

SAM: Oh!

MATT: And he ignited, and just screams and crumples to the ground, just a charred skeleton left in its place. This one here is cocked. 14? No, that's a fail.

LIAM: Is that a wisdom save now?

MATT: Huh?

LIAM: These are humanoids going down from fire.

MATT: Yes, it would.

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: Each one? Do you have to do a save for each one?

MATT: At the end of the turn, if it's killed one. You don't have to do it for each one.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18? Okay, you're still holding on. So here-- fails.

LAURA: Whoo!

MATT: (whooshing)

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: Incinerated. Last one fails.


MATT: You watch as all of them scream. Only two of them manage to dodge out of the way, tumble down the stairs, put out the flames on their back, before they stand back up and turn in your direction.

TRAVIS: Open the door, like, you would not believe what just happened. (laughter)

LIAM: And Caleb's ears are ringing from the sounds of the screams, and he just dives, and falls down behind that slope of stone, with his movement off of the Cat's Claw.

TRAVIS: Hit and slide.

MATT: Make an acrobatics check, please.

LIAM: I'm so good at that. Acrobatics, you said?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Seven!

MATT: All right, you are prone behind it, right there.

LAURA: On top of a bunch of glass?

TRAVIS: Not bad.

MATT: Yep!

LIAM: Hit me.

MATT: So you take two points of piercing damage. As you tumble--

TALIESIN: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow--

MATT: --lying on your side. It's all jammed into your cloak and stuff.

LAURA: Both me and my duplicate, we're were-- like ah! Ooh!

MATT: Ooh, yeah.


LIAM: It's just like "Die Hard!"


TALIESIN: Now I've got a fire spell, ho, ho, ho.

LIAM: Yippee yi-oh ki-ay, motherfucker!

MATT: That's a reminder of your concentration. All right, that brings us to this one right here. And Jester is also holding concentration, because of her duplicate. We're going to start with this one. Got it. That finishes your turn, Caleb?


MATT: All righty. It is now the cultists' turn. There are these two here. They saw Jester, but then all of a sudden, flames burst in. This one's going to run (counting)--

MARISHA: Where you going?

MATT: 30.

MARISHA: Where you going?

MATT: This one's going to rush over, (counting) 30. And he does get close to you.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Oh no!

TALIESIN: Well, does the Claw get to do anything on that?

MATT: No, the Claw isn't a creature, technically. It's going to make two melee attacks against you.

LIAM: Oh good.

MATT: The first one is going to be-- That's cocked. Oof! 24 to hit.

LIAM: Hits.

SAM: Yikes.

MATT: You take six points of piercing damage. And the second attack--

SAM: Is it harder because he's prone, or easier because he's prone to hit him?

MATT: Huh?

LAURA: On a melee it's easier.

MATT: On melee it's advantage.

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: The second one would be-- Yes. Thank you for reminding me.

SAM: Oh fuck!

MATT: 21

LIAM: Hits.

MATT: Okay. You then suffer four points of piercing damage, as it stabs you twice with daggers.

SAM: You're fine.

LIAM: So fine.

SAM: Suck it up.

MATT: This one's going to go ahead and rush up, and get on the other side of you. And now two of them are ready to stab the fuck of you next turn. Had to use its action to get there. Actually, you know what? No, he's not. This guy is a different type. He's going to go ahead and use his bonus action

LIAM: He's a Gemini.

MATT: --and summon a Spiritual Weapon.

SAM: Oh!

LIAM: What's it look like?


MATT: In this you see a large sword of flame-- with dangling chains of fire off of it.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: As it swings in the air, it arcs down towards you.

TRAVIS: Great attack.


MATT: That is going to be 18 to hit.

LIAM: Shield.

MARISHA: I like your modifications, man.

MATT: All right, that misses. (whooshing) The shield deflects the blow from the weapon. That's going to finish its turn. Now the regular cultists. Another one's over here. He's going to go ahead and--

MARISHA: Regular cultist, regular cultist.

SAM: Doesn't quite have the same ring.

MARISHA: No, that wasn't the same. Too many syllables.

TRAVIS: Save it.

MATT: He's going to come up and be face to face with you.

SAM: I'd like to see you try!

MATT: This one--

MARISHA: There is a hidden one, right? There's a hidden one.

MATT: It's going to go over and attempt to strike the duplicate Jester. And it does nothing.


MATT: It swings through, but now is well aware that it is an illusion. That finishes their turn. Beau, you're up.

MARISHA: All right. I am going to--

LAURA: The duplicate is still acting like it got hit. It's like, (groaning).

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Doing the Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

LIAM: Pee-Wee Herman.


LAURA: It's very dramatic.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Pause.

MATT: Still pretty sure you're an illusion. It literally went to stab, and its hand went through, and then like a second later, it began to act. It's now going-- Looks back at you and goes-- Like the GIF of the robot and the orangutan, like-- All right. Beau, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to slide through this hole like I'm sliding through home base.

MATT: All right, it's good. Five, 10, 15. You have 15 feet there. Where you want to go?

SAM: Church!

MARISHA: 20, 25, 30.


35, 40, 45, 50. Can I get base to base with her?

MATT: Your speed is 50?

MARISHA: Yes, it is.

MATT: Ah, but squeezing through the hole actually would have-- to get through the crawl space would have taken 10 feet of movement, so 50 would get you right there. So you don't quite get base to base with her.

TRAVIS: Almost like you planned this shit. How could you plan for that?

MARISHA: I never could have planned for that.

MATT: Because of the two foot by two foot crawl space--

TRAVIS: Oh, totally.

MATT: --the moment of squeezing through and getting up takes 10 feet of your movement as opposed to five.

TRAVIS: Why haven't you been practicing bear crawling in your spare time?

MARISHA: I know. Goddamn it.

TRAVIS: (rapid squelching)

MARISHA: Even with an armored movement and shit?

MATT: Unarmored movement is what gives you the 50 you can move, you crazy fucking fast monk.


LIAM: Can you lightning punch her?

MATT: I'm sorry if you're unhappy with your super movement speed and ability to stun everything I throw at you.


LIAM: Superman kicks a rock. God, this is so lame!


MARISHA: Yeah, let's lightning.

LAURA: Lightning punch her!

MATT: Up to you.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. It's one minute. It's one minute.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Let's start now.

MATT: You rush up, (whooshing) slam the fists together. The bolts of energy can strike through, curling up the body. (whooshing)

MARISHA: No, but they're going to see my dope hand movements, though.


MATT: All righty.

LIAM: You have to go cross-eyed, though.

MATT: Now what are you doing?

MARISHA: I'm going to rev it up and-- (impacts)

SAM: Church!

LIAM: Just rev it up.

MARISHA: (singing) Take me to church. I worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. Okay. Pop, pop. 19 for the first one, and 26 for the second.

MATT: Both hit, actually, yeah.


TRAVIS: 19 hits.

MARISHA: 19! Okay.

TRAVIS: Sam, do you remember what your hit was-- the number?

SAM: That I hit the red chick with?

TRAVIS: The cardinal with? Yeah.

SAM: I think was a 29 to hit.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. 19 hits.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, good to know.

MARISHA: Oh, okay. 10 plus 12-- 22 total.

MATT: Nice!

MARISHA: Lightning damage.

MATT: Both punches, you see the bolts arcing off about 20 feet, hitting the cardinal, and then striking through her chest for another foot or so before it dissipates and curls back, almost like a slow prominence being dragged back by gravity. With each hit, she (snarls) retracts, and looks at you with these wild eyes out of anger, and then smiles.

MARISHA: Yeah, you do have some breakage, honey, yeah.


MATT: So your bonus action still?

MARISHA: Oh my god, I do!

MATT: Yeah, you do.

TRAVIS: “Some breakage.”

MARISHA: Patient Defense.

MATT: Okay. You go into a defensive position, ready to take whatever onslaught comes your way, finishing after Beau's turn. It is Cardinal Respa's go.


MATT: She--

SAM: She's a holy woman. She wouldn't attack in a church.

LAURA: Yeah, she seems like a sweet old grandma!

TALIESIN: Has no one seen Dead Alive? Am I the only one here who knows how this is going to go? Okay, never mind.

TRAVIS: She's just going to restore all the damage.

LIAM: She's jetpacking out.

MATT: She's going to go ahead and pass.

LAURA: Oh no. Oh no!

MATT: A good old classic.

MARISHA: Didn't see that coming, nope.

MATT: A good old classic called Fire Storm.

SAM: Oof!


LAURA: She's high level, y'all.

MATT: 10 foot cubes. It's going to--

SAM: Cubes!

(explosions) (groaning)

SAM: What?

MARISHA: I know just how bad this could be is all.

SAM: Can she hit more than two?

MATT: She can.

SAM: Which?

TRAVIS: Is it a line?

MATT: Nine, 10.

MARISHA: They just have to touch bases.

LAURA: How many? 10?


TRAVIS: A fuckload.

MATT: Yeah, so she'll end up burning one of her own guys, but doesn't give a shit.

TALIESIN: Fucking death cults.

LIAM: Lawful good, man. They're the worst.

LAURA: She'll get two of her own guys, won't she?

MATT: No, she can scoot around this one.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: She was around here, and then curls in that way and gets the one next to Nott.

TRAVIS: The big C.

MATT: So first, that would be--

LAURA: C for Chained Oblivion.

MATT: --a dexterity saving throw from Caleb from Nott and from Beauregard. Because you are prone--

SAM: Disadvantage.

MATT: It doesn't have anything.

LIAM: Well, I rolled a natural 20.

MATT: Oh, good on you.

LAURA: (whispering) Oh, thank god. I thought he was going to say a natural one.

MATT: No, prone doesn't affect your dexterity saving throw. Strangely.

MARISHA: I can take the dodge action as a part of Patient Defense.

MATT: The dodge action?


MATT: Well, that's how it works. Basically, you've done the dodge action, which gives attacks against you have disadvantage.

MARISHA: Right, I'm an idiot. No, okay.

MATT: No, that's good.

MARISHA: Okay, yes.

MATT: So what was your dexterity saving throw?

MARISHA: It's ... bullshit. It's 13.

MATT: 13? Fail. Success.

SAM: 17.

MATT: Fail.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Oh no!

SAM: Evasion.

LIAM: I see a lot of dice in his hands.

MATT: So you take half damage.

SAM: Yes.

LAURA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: I'm going to be healing, aren't I?

SAM: You know Jester's not.


MATT: 45 points of fire damage. So you take 22.

MATT: You--

MARISHA: Evasion.

MATT: So 22.

SAM: You have Evasion!?

MATT: You all take 22 points of fire damage. As you watch, she raises her hands up with a smile, cackling. You watch the flames erupt. The flames have a strange darker tint to them, as opposed to light being emitted, a shadow is cast from them. As the fire burns, (explosions) these pillars of fire burning like a giant series of shock waves of flame across, curling around the chamber. It completely disintegrates this guy. Actually, let me roll a saving throw to see if might survive. He survives, weirdly! (laughter) But is really, really, really, really hurt. He's like, “Why?!” back at her. And incinerates the exterior of each of you. The air escapes you for a minute as it's burned away from the flames, and then it dies down and you're all like, (gasping) little bit frazzled, a bit charred. Just going to go ahead and move 25, 30 to there. That brings us to Fjord's turn.

TRAVIS: I will move through this opening.

MATT: Five, 10, 15 to get in front of Jester.

TRAVIS: Great. And I'll use the other 15 to move in more towards the room, so I can keep a line of sight with the cardinal.

MATT: Right there, that'll do.

TRAVIS: And I'll send two Eldritch Blasts in her direction.

MATT: Go for it, roll two strikes.

TRAVIS: That sucks, 14 and 27.

MARISHA: Titties.

MATT: 27 hits.

TRAVIS: Great, great, great. Seven points of Eldritch Blast damage.

LAURA: Whoo!

MATT: Seven points of Eldritch Blast damage, all right! (impact) Gets hit in the chest.


SAM: Who'd you shoot?

TRAVIS: The cardinal.

SAM: Dame Edna? Okay.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Came in, and I was like, (blasting)


MATT: Hey, it worked a little bit. Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: It does.

MATT: All right, it is now Pumat's turn.



MATT: And now he's going to scramble through. "Yeah, it's a little bit of a tight space here. It's-- oh no." Then he comes in the room and sees the fire emerging, the glass wall crumbled down, sees Fjord run in and fire two Eldritch Blasts. One hits the stairs and scatters, the other one hits the cardinal, who then ducks behind the pillar. He's like, "Oh, it's-- what have I agreed to do?" He's going to go ahead and move from there. He's at that space there. And then for Pumat's turn, he's going to cast Dominate Person. I made notes of which spells are enchantments.

TRAVIS: On Caleb.

MATT: Weak.

TRAVIS: Pumat's evil!


MARISHA: He does have a bunch of servants that look like him.

MATT: Can I get up here?

TRAVIS: Sink into the floor.

MATT: All right. He's actually going to move 10, 15, 20, 30. He's going to get right there. That'll do. He's going to cast Dominate Person on Cardinal Respa.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: And is going to cast it on this cultist right there, the one that's attacking. Because the other one that's worrying him off to the side is too close for comfort. For the hell of it, someone roll a d20 for Cardinal Respa.

TRAVIS: Oh, who's going to--

SAM: I will roll for Respa. She rolled a nine?

LAURA: Nein?


MATT: Nine plus-- she succeeds. (sighing) It's the high wisdom.

SAM: Why do I roll so good?

LAURA: You should have let me do it.

MATT: You can roll for the other one if you want, for the hell of it.

SAM: Why don't you do this one? But use your shitty dice.


LAURA: Shut up, none of them are shitty.




MATT: That cultist suddenly leans forward, and then turns back and looks towards Pumat. He's like, "Hey, want to help us out here? “Thanks, buddy." That's going to be his turn. That brings us to-- you hear this skittering sound from the pillars above.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: And this growling bit. As you all glance over the shoulder, you can see claws beginning to pull up, and these strange, kind of humanoid-- Imagine a dark, greenish-colored demonic creature, but the skin is hanging and dangling a bit off of its body. It has a snub nose, almost like a mole. And it (gurgles]. And it begins to curl up, you see multiples climbing up, similar to when you've seen previous rifts opened in spaces throughout Wildemount.

LAURA: Oh no, they got it open?

SAM: Whoa, that's a lot of figurines!

TRAVIS: I think it's been open. Oh no!


SAM: What fucking jerk is this?

TRAVIS: So glad I didn't go up that damn-- I thought I was going to be clever and go up. Thus ends Fjord.


MATT: They're going to leap down. They're not very quick, so these leap off, hit the ground--

LAURA: And splatter. They're really stupid.

TALIESIN: I feel like there's some dex saves that have to happen here.

MATT: I'm getting into it.


LIAM: I'mma dex save.

SAM: Are there-- Is there a door? Oh, is that a staircase behind her?

TRAVIS: That's the way it goes down there, yeah.

MATT: All right, so that one takes three points of damage from the fall.

TALIESIN: And then we can lock it behind us.

LIAM: Down below.


LIAM: (singing) Six feet under, down below.

TALIESIN: So if we get in there, it won't matter.

MATT: Gather behind where they were.

LAURA: Oh no, there's that many? There's that many?!

MATT: The rest of their movement is going to go over here. And they're going to take their action to rush in and swarm Nott.

LAURA: Oh Traveler, be with us! Please save us from this humanity!

MATT: These two are going down as well.

SAM: Why do they have red hands?

LAURA: They're covered in blood!

MATT: One of them takes four points of damage.

SAM: I hope.

LAURA: Do they move in pairs?

MATT: They're just rushing-- they're jumping off into space.

LAURA: Are they like otters? They hold on to each other so they don't lose track of where they are?

MATT: They're smaller than you. They're like a medium size. They're about waist high or so, and they're just skittering forward.

LAURA: Oh no, they're cute!

MATT: And they're going to use their action play to swim up on Beauregard.

LAURA: I don't know.

MATT: But they don't have any action to attack you. These two leave off.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: I already rolled for them, and they're fine. They move in, and they're both going to take attacks. And there's one more up here. And it's going to go ahead and take a leap off as well. Yeah, he's fine, natural 20. He's going to rush around to Fjord. So it's going to be no attacks on Nott, because it took a while to get them. No attacks on Beau, because it took their action to get to you. Attack on Pumat, and two on Fjord. How about attack-- no, that's going to be a seven. That's a miss. Against Fjord, a natural 20.

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

MATT: And a natural 20.


MATT: Two in a row.

TRAVIS: Well, getting this party started.

SAM: Does that mean Travis Frederick has to take back $500? Is that what happens?

MATT: Oh, and they actually have two attacks. So we'll say that's the first one.


MATT: So you take eight points of piercing damage.

TRAVIS: Got it.

MATT: From the first critical. They're not super strong. And the other one, you take 12 points of piercing damage.


MATT: And the other one's going to attack, bite and claw you as well.

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: That's going to be a 16 to hit.

TRAVIS: That misses.

MATT: All right. And a 13 to hit.

TRAVIS: Yeah, they both miss.

SAM: Oh wow!

TRAVIS: On the two melee hits that hit, the Star Razor pulses, and deals seven points of radiant damage to the attacker.

MATT: Nice! So with each strike it bites at you, it bursts in its jaw, and you see the lips curl back from the radiant burn that now sits at the edge of its mouth. That finishes their turn. Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to crawl through the hole.

MARISHA: Get in there, Caddy.

MATT: 15, you get right there.

TALIESIN: I'm going to keep moving against the wall to the side, I think.

MATT: Okay. Over here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to move against the wall so nothing can get behind me.

MATT: 25, 30.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Right there.

TALIESIN: And I'm going to take a Sacred Flame against the priestess.

MATT: Which one?

TALIESIN: The one that Beau is attacking, the main one.

MATT: Main one? What's the range on Sacred Flame?

TALIESIN: 60 feet.

MATT: She is beyond 60 feet.

TALIESIN: Oh, where is she?

MATT: She's right here.

TALIESIN: Oh, she ran?

MATT: Yeah, she went and moved to the side of the pillar. She's about 90 feet from you.

TALIESIN: Oh. Well, heck.

LAURA: I know, I can't see beyond that thing.

TRAVIS: Well, hecking heck.

TALIESIN: Well, hecking heck.

SAM: Well, we're in a church, we don't want to say hell or anything.

TALIESIN: Then I'm going to hit one of the two that's attacking Beau right now.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

TALIESIN: That's a dex 17.

MATT: That's a fail!

TALIESIN: All right, so that's--



SAM: Church!

TALIESIN: 23 points of radiant damage.

MATT: All right.

SAM: (singing) Christ is born, Christ is risen.

MATT: 23 points?

TALIESIN: Wait, hold on, (counting) 21. 21 points of radiant damage.

MATT: (whooshing) It burns with the radiant flame, and as the flame finally flicks out of existence behind, there's just a hint of charred bone that clatters to the ground and scatters into ash. That demonic creature destroyed entirely from the Sacred Flame.

SAM: Yay!

MARISHA: Thanks!

SAM: One down.

TALIESIN: So that's my move.

MATT: All right. Top of the round. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Oh, that's me.

SAM: Oh, little old me?

LAURA: Oh, little old me? I'm going to-- hold on, let me look at this thing real fast. Okay, I'm going to number one, use my Spiritual Weapon to attack this thing that just attacked.

TRAVIS: This monstrosity.

LAURA: Actually, no, I'm going to move the Spiritual Weapon, and I'm going to go try to get to one of the things that attacked Fjord. Because I saw he took a pretty hard hit from that one that gave him 12 damage, whichever one. Then it's going to swing at him. And it's going to get a 20.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: (humming) That is nine points.

MATT: Nice! It slams into her. (gurgling and screeching) It makes a horrible sucking sound at the impact.

TALIESIN: Still standing, even after the seven points on top of that?

MATT: Oh, well, the one that took seven damage was that one. You couldn't quite get to that one in time.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay.

MATT: It's a 20-feet movement, right, in the bonus?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: So it couldn't quite get to them. The other one, this is the first damage it's taken.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay.

LAURA: And then for my attack, I'm going to cast (singing) Guiding Bolt. And my duplicate's going pew, pew at the--

MATT: About 120 feet, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, you can do that. Go ahead and roll an attack.

LAURA: This is a 4th- level, by the way. 20.

MATT: 20, she does have half cover from going behind the pillar, which gives her plus two to her armor class.

LAURA: Oh, can I move my duplicate to where I can move it up here to where it wouldn't get half cover?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay, yeah, let's do that.

MATT: That'll get her outside of the half cover there.

LAURA: 20?

MATT: 20 hits.

LAURA: Yeah! So that is-- (explosions) That is 7d6.

SAM: Ooh, rough!

LAURA: Two, three four, five, six. Okay.

SAM: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

LAURA: 10, 20, 21, and-- so 24 points of damage.

MATT: And she is currently radiating. As the blast hits her, (screams) she falls to one knee, and gets up breathing hard. You can see a lot of the robe has been burned away. The skin itself is burned and charred. And the hair's curled up on one side where part of the face is now scarred from the impact of the radiant blast.

LAURA: Hair! And then the next attack on her gets advantage.

MATT: Indeed. All right, that's your action. You want to move or stay put?

LAURA: I'm going to stay put.

SAM: And the next attack on her gets advantage?


SAM: Do I know that?

MATT: She's glowing. So Nott, it's your turn.

SAM: I will bonus action disengage, slide between one of those thing's legs and keep running. I'm going to run towards the door behind the pew-- Whatever, the altar.

MATT: Right here?

SAM: And as I'm running, I'm going to turn and shoot the radiant glowing lady.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

SAM: 19.

MATT: 19 just hits.


MATT: That was with advantage right?

LAURA: Yeah!

SAM: It is.

MATT: Yeah, but just hits.

SAM: So I get sneak attack.


MATT: You get sneak attack because of the Guiding Bolt. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (laughs) That was fucking amazing.

SAM: Let me try that again. I'll try that again. So I get sneak attack damage?

MATT: Yes. you do.


SAM: That one's cocked. Okay.

TRAVIS: I thought one went in your drink.

SAM: 24 points of damage.

MATT: How do you want to do this?


SAM: I would like to shoot her with a crossbow bolt.


But if possible, I'd love it to go through her neck and pin her to the pillar behind her.

TRAVIS: Oh, beautiful!

SAM: Classic.

MATT: So as you run by, she turns and brings her hand up. She starts muttering, and the fingers start to glow. It's matching the halo of radiant energy that Jester had set you up with. You aim your crossbow, and for a split second, you swear you see a green hand touch the side of your hand and correct your aim.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: And you fire. And right as she begins to cast--

SAM: The Traveler molested me? In a church!

MATT: You see her eyes go wide, as her arms go limp to the side, and blood just spills out of her mouth.


MATT: And eventually, goes limp, and just stays there. You can now see the crossbow bolt holding her locked against the pillar.


LAURA: Did I see the hand help Nott or did I not see that?

MATT: No, you're way too far away.

LAURA: Damn it!

MATT: You've been staying in the corner.

LAURA: He did it, and I didn't even see. I mean, he's just doing it to be nice!

SAM: Wow, that was so cool.

MATT: All right, so that's you're movement and your action.

SAM: Yeah, and my bonus as well, to disengage.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

MARISHA: Fucking aim bots.

MATT: You can get up to here if you like.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: Gets you every time.

MARISHA: Goddamn it!

MATT: That finishes Nott's turn. All right. Nott, as you get up to the door, you sit there, looking around, and you hear--

SAM: Oh no.

(heavy footsteps)

SAM: Someone's coming.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: You turn back, and the door (crashing). Make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus Christ!

LAURA: Oh no, who is it?

MARISHA: The Laughing Hand? It's got to be the Laughing Hand, right?

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16? You do manage to move out of the way just in time as the doors slam open.

TALIESIN: I would also know if Yasha is coming, by the way. I would be able to sense any movement.

MATT: You sense her arrival.

LAURA: Oh god!

(explosion) (screaming)

MATT: The Laughing Hand comes barreling through.

TRAVIS: (yelling) No!

MATT: And right as it moves past, you hear the--

TRAVIS: (yelling) No! (evil wheezing laughter)

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: --that horrible laughing sound again. You're like, shit, shit, shit!

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Shit, shit!

SAM: Oh no, I don't have time to cover my ears or anything.

LAURA: Oh shit!

MATT: Entering right after and flying up behind the chamber.

LAURA: I hate him!


MATT: It is Obann. Up to the top.

SAM: Oh no, it's on!

TRAVIS: Fuck it, this is it! This is it!

MATT: And then, stepping out, you see Yasha.

TRAVIS: (screaming) Yasha!


LIAM: Oh, she died!

SAM: She fell down, she's dead.

LAURA: No, she didn't, it's okay.

MARISHA: Epic entrance. Dun dun— (impacts).

LIAM: And doesn't move again.

TRAVIS: Oh shit. Oh god. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh god. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh god.

LAURA: Here we go.

MATT: Yasha, if you wouldn't mind?


TRAVIS: You fucking snake!

LIAM: Kill her! Kill her!

(laughter) (screaming)

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: (yelling) Ashley's back!


SAM: Until the end of this fight when she dies.

TRAVIS: Hope you got a backup character. You're going down!

ASHLEY: I don't have a backup character.

SAM: Focus on Yasha first.

ASHLEY: I'll make one if I need to.

TRAVIS: (panting)


LIAM: Oh man.

TRAVIS: Please be out of practice. Please be out of practice. Please be out of practice.

ASHLEY: When am I not out of practice?


ASHLEY: Every time I sit at this table, I'm like, what's D&D? Hi!

ALL: Hi!

MATT: Hi, welcome back.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: You get to kill your friends tonight.


TRAVIS: You certainly will try.

MATT: So if you could initiative for me, Yasha, as you're joining the initiative order.

LAURA: Dispel, dispel!

SAM: I'm right behind all these people.

MATT: There's a lot of battle to go yet.

SAM: This is such an epic setting for this, though, Matt. You did so good.

MARISHA: I'm just standing on the platform, watching the cavalry march in.

(groaning) (explosions)

ASHLEY: Oh boy! Well, I get advantage on that.

TRAVIS: This is too fucking-- this is a shitshow.

LAURA: You're attacking right away? What are you doing?


MATT: No, she's using her initiative.

ASHLEY: No, just doing initiative.


ASHLEY: What's my initiative?

TRAVIS: I think you get a plus one.

LAURA: Come on in, Ashley.


TALIESIN: Come closer, closer.

MATT: 13, you say?


MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: What a shocker, I roll a low initiative.

MATT: You're going at the same time as Pumat.

SAM: (whispered) Ashley.

LAURA: Scooch in.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. I have room, guys. I have room.

MATT: All righty. So Nott finished, they emerge. Obann goes first.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's amazing writing Yasha in the initative order.

ALL: Aww!


LAURA: Where was that in the--? That was after Nott went.

TRAVIS: Right after Pumat.

LIAM: Caleb was about to go, but Obann's in.

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: I'm after Nott?


TRAVIS: No, you're after Pumat.

ASHLEY: After Pumat.

SAM: You're way, way, late.

LAURA: You're after Fjord, then?

ASHLEY: So I have time to read the player's handbook?


LIAM: Learn D&D, please.

TRAVIS: Fifth Edition.

SAM: So when the doors opened, am I behind a door out of sight now?

LAURA: That'd be awesome.


SAM: Okay, cool.

MATT: You haven't hidden.

TRAVIS: Did we also see the Inevitable End come out?

MATT: Nope.

ASHLEY: I'm 14. 14. Does that change my initiative?

MATT: 14? It does.

ASHLEY: Plus two to initiative.

MATT: That puts you actually before Fjord.

LIAM: Palms are sweaty.

ASHLEY: Knees weak.

TRAVIS: We are not clocking the Inevitable End yet, by the way.

LAURA: Oh, of course not. But you can see invisible things.

TRAVIS: I can, for an hour. But she doesn't really go invisible.

SAM: It's a she?

LAURA: She. She.

SAM: She comes from underground?

TRAVIS: She phases.

MATT: So with Obann's turn, Obann, pouring out and flying up in the air, is like, (chuckling) "Good, more fodder." And as he looks down with a grin, he's going to go ahead and try a--

TRAVIS: You and me both, brother. How many you got?

LIAM: I'm okay for me.

MATT: Just going to go ahead and cast Dominate Person on--

SAM: He knows us, too.

MATT: --on you, Beauregard.

MARISHA: Oh, I knew it!

MATT: Can you go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw for me, please?

LAURA: Come on, Beau! You've got good wisdom now.

SAM: Guidance. I am going to guide you.

LAURA: You can't. No--

MATT: No, it doesn't--

SAM: No? Nott can't, on a reaction, guide someone?

MATT: No, sorry.

MARISHA: Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! (groaning)


SAM: $500?


LAURA: Oh god!

LIAM: Fuck.

MARISHA: It was almost like six and 18.

MATT: Beauregard, you look up into Obann's eyes, as his hands form this “come to me” finger motion. And you feel all of a sudden your vision pull back into your head, like the sunken place.

MARISHA: I'm just totally sunken place

MATT: And you lose control of your body. All right.

TRAVIS: 18 would have been a lot better.

MARISHA: Yeah, it would've. Yeah, it would've.

MATT: Obann finishes his turn.

LAURA: She's charmed?

MATT: She is charmed, and he can take complete control of her. So you consider Obann an ally, and the rest of them enemies. And as per Dominate Person telepathic link, he can speak to you, and you hear the voice in the head say, "Kill them all. Kill them for the Angel. Kill them for me." And yeah, your general course of action is to attack your friends.

SAM: But like, just with your shuriken.

MATT: So Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, I will use a bonus action to have the Claw attempt to shred the one who stabs. So as he's stabbing into me, I'm trying to back away, and doing this with my hand, and drawing the Claw to shred him.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll for the attack for the Claw.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Claw is still out, that's great.

LIAM: That is a 21 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: Oh good, 23.

MATT: 23 points?

LIAM: Slashing damage, yeah.

MATT: Yeah, okay.

LAURA: Is that on Obann?

LIAM: No, it's the one who was stabbing the shit out of me.

MATT: He just gets carved into ribbons.

LIAM: Oh good.

MATT: (screeching) And crumples to the ground. The claw's just-- you see him fall into four different pieces.

LIAM: Okay, and Caleb starts to smear his blood on the ground as he crawls this way just five feet. And he'll get-- this way, just five feet that way so I can see a little bit. And in all the tumult, the hands clap together again. (whooshing) And another fireball flies out just to the side of that candlestick, diagonally maybe. Yeah, we're going to get-- no, no, closer to this guy right here, and those guys over there. Yeah.

MATT: Right there?

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.


TRAVIS: Place your mushroom cloud.

MATT: Laughing Hand... rolls an 11. That's a fail.

LIAM: 26 points of fire damage, so it's just a 3rd-level.

MATT: He takes half that. Actually, no he does not, because he lost his resistances.

LAURA: (gasping)

TRAVIS: Because we kill the fucking heart.


SAM: This is a fireball?

LIAM: Fireball.

SAM: What's the DC?

LAURA: Because it got you? Did it get you?

LIAM: It's a 17.

MATT: No, actually, he managed to aim it so it did not hit Nott.

SAM: Oh, ho, ho, ho! Thank god.

MATT: You feel the heat, and you're like, close your eyes! And the fire just barely licks past. Your eyebrows recoil a bit.

SAM: Beautiful tattooed eyebrows.

MATT: That's a failure there. (whooshing) Incinerates. Screams as the Spiritual Weapon that they had summoned vanishes.

LIAM: Wisdom save for me.

MATT: All right. Which is...?

LIAM: I get a 14.

MATT: 14? Yeah, so this is a level five spell, so 13 was the DC, so you succeed. All right.

LAURA: That was a level three spell.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Fail. It takes half damage because it has resistance.

LAURA: Oh, the little things are resistant to fire.

SAM: Oh, the little creatures?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Because they're from Hell.

LIAM and SAM: Yeah!

MATT: From the Abyss, actually.

TRAVIS: From Abyss!


MATT: Fails. And half damage there, and then that just there fails, but did not take damage from your previous fireball.

LIAM: I don't think so.

MATT: Because it had rushed through. So that takes a full 26.

SAM: Ashley Fricking Johnson at the table!

LIAM: And so I used 15 feet-- half my movement-- to stand?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: And move five feet that way? So I have 10 left, I'm going a-that way 10 feet.

MARISHA: Going a-that a-way-a!

LIAM: It's like there's two of us.

MATT: All right, behind the edge there. Got it, all right.

LIAM: That's it.

MATT: That finishes your go there. Next up, the cultists.

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: This guy rushes up here.

LIAM: Sure.

MATT: And this guy--

TALIESIN: Who is one of us.

MATT: --is Dominated, is going to go ahead and try to attack the one that's outside of Pumat.

LIAM: Oh my goodness!

MATT: Attack on that one. It's a natural 20.

SAM: Oh, that's good, that's good.

MATT: And 15, both hit.

MARISHA: Leave a penny, take a penny.

SAM: Yeah!

MARISHA: You know, you lose a Beau, you gain a cultist.

LIAM: Leave a cultist, take a cultist.

LAURA: I just don't think they're equal.

TRAVIS: How do you break the-- Does she save against it each round?

MARISHA: It's okay.

MATT: So it's 15 points of damage to that one. So it carves into that one there with a dagger. (whooshing) And the creature goes (snarling). He crawls back looking confused and angry, as the cultist's eyes are still wide and smiling while looking at Pumat, like, "Hey!" Pumat's like, "Yeah, that's right." The other one that's over there is going to attack you, Caleb. Two attacks with you. The first is going to be a 14.

LIAM: Misses.

MATT: Misses? Second one, that's going to be a 15.

LIAM: Shield.

MATT: (whooshing) Shield a second time. (whooshing) Reflected off. The dagger scrapes off of the outside of the arcane energy shield. No impact. All right, that finishes the cultists' turn at that point. That brings us to Beauregard. Beauregard.

LIAM: Have fun.

MARISHA: So as I look at Obann and he says, “Kill them all,” and I start to slip into the Sunken Place, and I feel the darkness come through like tunnel vision. And then I just close my eyes, and I resist. When I open them, I am sitting next to the ocean in Nicodranas, meditating. (deep breath) And I breathe, and I'm going to use Stillness of Mind to end a charm effect.


MATT: Right! That's right!

LIAM: Fuck yeah!

MATT: I forgot you had that.



LIAM: Man!


LIAM: Fuck, I want one too, give it, give it, give it.


MARISHA: And I open back, and I look at him, and I just go--


MATT: You see him like, (growls). Just grow angry.

SAM: Oh, ho, ho, ho!

MATT: That's your action.

TRAVIS: He's going to light you up.

MARISHA: That's my action? (laughs) Yeah.

LIAM: Nice work, Danvers!

TRAVIS: Wake up, wake up, wake up!

MATT: Just fucking Robotech missile her.


LIAM: (yelling) No wing on flap!

MARISHA: Harnessing that stillness and that peace, I'm going to just look around. I'm going to look at Laughing Hand, look at the demon behind me, and do Patient Defense again. And I could theoretically move, but then he would get an attack, right?

MATT: Both of them would, yeah.

MARISHA: Both of them would.

MATT: You are within range of his blade.

MARISHA: I use Patient Defense and hold strong.

MATT: Okay. As you do, you get-- Because you're naturally-- what your passive perception?


MATT: 13? Okay. The Laughing Hand-- as it's stepped up, you're the one who can see it, and it's like breathing heavy. It's like (wheezing).

SAM: Oh no! He's having a rough time.

MARISHA: Is he sickly?

SAM: Go easy on him.

MARISHA: What a baby.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right, that finishes Beauregard's turn, and it's now Yasha's turn.

SAM: (gasps) First move back! What's it going to be?

ASHLEY: Okay, okay!


MATT: You're probably right here.

ASHLEY: --closest to? Is that Nott right there?

MATT: Nott is just to the right.

SAM: Hi!

ASHLEY: (sighs) Okay.

SAM: Please don't kill me!

ASHLEY: So I would like to rage.

MATT: Okay. You see Yasha flex angrily with that face turning into a dour, gritted expression.

ASHLEY: I'm going to turn to my right, and I am going to take out my Skingorger.

MATT: Okay. The horrible, rusted-looking, giant, thick, jagged blade in both hands.

ASHLEY: And I'm going to stare at Nott, and I am going to attack reckless.

SAM: (whimpering)

MATT: All right, go for it.

LAURA: Ooh. Ooh! Ooh!

ASHLEY: I rolled two ones.


ASHLEY: (yelling) Off to a good start!


LIAM: Oh, so many levels of awesome!

TRAVIS: (yelling) Thank you, Ashley!


MATT: You had one job!

ASHLEY: I had one job. (laughter) Snake eyes!

SAM: I'm going to make puppy dog eyes at her.

ASHLEY: Okay, so--


LIAM: Wow!

ASHLEY: As a bonus action, I am-- oh, no, no, no, never mind because I raged. Okay. I'll stay. (laughter) I'm going to stay there.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn. Fjord, you're up. You see Yasha come out, angrily rage, and then rush over and swing twice towards Nott. Nott, like (shrieking) backing out of the way, dodging. The blade is sparking against the stonework that's holding the door frame. What are you doing?

TRAVIS: With my bonus action, I will put my Hexblade's Curse on Obann.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: What does that do?

TRAVIS: 19 or 20 is a critical hit against him. It's extra damage, and just a slew of other shit.

LAURA: 19 to 20 for anybody, or just for you?

SAM: Just for me.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: And I will look up at Obann and say: Looks like this is an aerial fight. I'll point up in the sky, and my eyes will roll back, and I'll say: It's time to vrock. And I will summon a vrock. (laughter)

SAM: A vrock?

TRAVIS: (laughs) So I Summon a Greater Demon.


SAM: (falsetto) Let's get ready to vrock!

LIAM: You got to do that every time.


TALIESIN: I think that adds a d4 for the pun damage.

TRAVIS: Yes, it does.

LIAM: Yeah, but that goes to Matt.

MARISHA: Oh, I could hear the electric guitar riff.

SAM and TALIESIN: (imitating guitar solo)

MATT: All right.

LAURA: So stupid.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: We see this large, creepy, vulture-like demonic entity appear, its skin covered in harsh feathers, and this sickly-looking scaled hide to the parts that aren't covered by the feathers, with giant wings, long beak, claws. All right, so go right ahead.

TRAVIS: I roll initiative for it, right?

MATT: It should say in the spell.

TRAVIS: I think it rolls its own initiative. Okay. It's a two.

TALIESIN: It actually means it goes very soon.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it does. It goes about right up-- or, right after you.

TALIESIN: Right with me.


MATT: All right, so keep track of that.

TRAVIS: I will, thank you.

TALIESIN: It can go first.

MATT: It goes with Caduceus, right. All right.

TRAVIS: No, you can go first.

TALIESIN: No, please let it go first.

MATT: Fjord, that's your action. You have your movement, and your bonus. Oh, you used your bonus for the Hexblade. Nevermind. So stay put, or you going to move?

TRAVIS: I'm going to stay put so I don't incur a bunch of attacks of opportunity.

MATT: Okay. That brings us to Pumat's turn. Pumat is still controlling the guy. He's going to go, "All right, this is getting a little out of hand here." You see him look a little scared at the presence of all these creatures around. He's going to go ahead and... he's going to cast Acid Arrow at 5th-level.

LAURA: 5th-level?

MATT: Mm-hmm. And he's going to go ahead and fire it at the Laughing Hand. Because that's, from his perspective, the scariest guy right now.

LAURA: Understandably.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

SAM: There's a lot of crazy shit going on in this place.


LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: There's cultists and skeleton men and giant blade-hand men.

LAURA: We still don't know where--

SAM: A cat?

LAURA: We still don't know where the Inevitable End is.

SAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: No, we don't.

LIAM: She might be at a spa.

LAURA: Maybe she's just chilling, you know? She had a fight. Maybe her and Obann had a fight.

LIAM: Maybe she's embarrassed. Too embarrassed to fight.

MATT: 14 points of acid damage to the Laughing Hand. And he's going to go ahead and burn a little more on his turn. Pumat, surrounded by these things, sees the big guy burst through. It looks extremely scary. He goes, "No, no, no! No, no, ah, da--" and releases this dart of green energy that fires forward, splatters into him and (whooshing) begins to burn and singe the somewhat sagging flesh covered in mouths. As it splatters and burns, the mouths that were laughing gargle a bit as it enters their interior. He's going to risk an attack of opportunity. Because he does not like being here, and he's having that guy controlled, so he's going to move, one, two, three, four, six. Both of them get attacks on him. The first one-- yeah, that'll hit. It takes--

TRAVIS: No, Pumat!

MATT: Six points of slashing damage, and he has to make a constitution saving throw, which he makes. So he maintains the domination. Other attack against him misses. So he swoops by, "Oh, all right, all right." And he hears the doors behind starting to unlock from the chamber you guys skipped.

LAURA: Oh no, those dudes.

MATT: All right, finishing his turn. It is now these guys' turns.

SAM: Wait, where?

LAURA: The other cultists coming from the front.

SAM: Oh no, the ones we skipped?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: But we skipped that board! They're out it.

MARISHA: It's done, there's no more.

TRAVIS: It's a scrolling game. You can't go back. It's Super Mario Brothers.

MATT: There's a cultist blocking the other thing. They'll rush up to Nott. They're both going to attack you, Nott. The first one-- it's going to be a 12.

SAM: Miss! Dodge.

MATT: The first attack, they do have advantage on you, because you're currently flanking with Yasha.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: The second attack from that one is going to be 13.

SAM: Dodge.

MATT: This one here is currently flanking with the Laughing Hand. And that's going to be a 16.

SAM: Miss.

MATT: And the other one's going to be a 19.

SAM: Hit!

MATT: Oh my god! One of them got you!

SAM: Yes.

MATT: I'm so excited!

SAM: Yes.

MATT: You take seven points of piercing damage as it bites into your shoulder, and latches on. You shrug it off, and you feel the teeth drag across the side of your arm, and you can feel the blood -- oof-- beneath your armor.

SAM: Uncanny Dodge that, or save my reaction? I'm going to save my reaction for something else.

MATT: Three of them are going to be attacking you, Fjord. This one's going to move this way to get over to you in flanking. And that's going to stay there. So the two that are in flanking-- first attack, 13.


MATT: The next one is 15?

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATT: So that's one's done. The one across the way-- the first attack, 17?

TRAVIS: That is my AC.

MATT: So it hits you. You take five points of slashing damage from a claw strike.

TRAVIS: Yeah? I think I have to make a thing to maintain the spell, right?

MATT: Yes, you do, a constitution saving throw.

TRAVIS: And I have advantage on that, because I have the thing.

MATT: War Caster.

TRAVIS: Yeah. That is a 16.

MATT: You're fine. Also, roll your damage. Because it struck you while you had the blade out.

TRAVIS: Oh, thank you, yes.

TALIESIN: I like this I'm rubber, you're glue thing you got going on.

TRAVIS: Five points of radiant damage on that one.

MATT: (whooshing) He pulls back, goes in for a secondary attack, which is a bite attack. 18.


MATT: You take seven points of piercing damage, as it bites into the side of your hip as you try to swing back around.

TRAVIS: He takes eight points of radiant damage.

MATT: That kills him. (cheering) He bites on you. (whooshing) And the blast back causes his head to just scatter across the ground. The body (thudding) on to the floor behind you across the marble floor.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's fine. 22.

MATT: 22, you're fine. And that one gets two attacks on you without advantage. The first one is going to be a 20.


MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to use my reaction to counter that.

MATT: To counter what? It wasn't a natural 20. It was a 20 total. You're fine. Four points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Got it. Five points of radiant to him.

MATT: Five points of radiant to him. And then?

TRAVIS: Totally save, it's a 24.

MATT: Okay, second attack-- it's a natural one. Misses!


MATT: All right, that ends their turn. That brings us to--



LIAM: Here she comes.

LAURA: (singing) Here she comes, walking in the chapel.

LIAM: Nein, nein, crazy nein.

MATT: She wouldn't go too far out, so it's going to be you, Fjord, unfortunately.

LIAM: Damn it.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Oh no! There she comes!

MATT: Up from the ground, (whooshing) you hear this faint grinding sound. And before you have a moment to even look behind you, she's going to attempt to attack you. This is going to be... 21.


MATT: All right. And the second attack with the Spectral Blade is a 26.

TRAVIS: Yes, they both hit.

SAM: Oh no! Oh no!

MATT: She takes 11 damage?

TRAVIS: Yes, 11 radiant.

MATT: Got it, from both attacks. The first one is going to do--

SAM: Ooh boy, that's a lot of dice rattling over there. Ashley, how's it feel?

ASHLEY: It feels good.

SAM: Yeah?


SAM: So far you're doing great.

ASHLEY: Thank you very much. I really was trying for double ones.


TRAVIS: You did a great job.


TRAVIS: Mission success.

ASHLEY: Mission success.

LIAM: Charity drive time.

MATT: 45 points of piercing damage to you.

LAURA: I hate her!


MATT: I need you go ahead--

TRAVIS: It was saved with a 21.

MATT: A 21 on the what?

TRAVIS: On the spell maintaining--

MATT: 21 I don't think succeeds.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

MATT: 45-- I mean, 22 is DC. It's half. So you actually lose your concentration on your spell, which means the demon remains out there. It's just no longer under your control.


SAM: Sad trombone!


MATT: You're now going to see the other side of how this works.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Also, make a constitution saving throw for me, please.


LIAM: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

LAURA: But that's a devil that he's against, right? And demons hate devils.


MATT: 17, you resist the poison. The second strike deals 15 points of slashing damage-- or piercing damage, I'm sorry, piercing. And I need you to make a another constitution saving throw.

TRAVIS: Okay, first radiant damage is-- one point of radiant damage.

MATT: Nice!

TRAVIS: Constitution saving throw is a 10.

MATT: A 10?


MATT: The poison pulses through your body.

MARISHA: Fucking fuck.

MATT: You are poisoned.


ASHLEY: Oh boy.

MATT: Be glad you didn't roll one lower.

SAM: What?

LAURA: Oh, that's right!

SAM: What-- oh god!

TRAVIS: What happens one lower?

MATT: And with that, she's going to attempt to vanish into the ground. You do get one attack of opportunity against her.

MATT: With disadvantage, because you're poisoned.

TALIESIN: You can also use a spell if you want to as your attack of opportunity.

MATT: Because you're a War Caster, you could.

TALIESIN: So if you have an attack spell that you like to use, now is the time to use it.

TRAVIS: Not any that work the way I want it to.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: At disadvantage, right?

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: It'll miss. I think that's 15.

MATT: 15 misses. (whooshing) The other guy that's currently controlled by Pumat's going to go ahead and attempt to make an attack as well.

TRAVIS: I'm hurt.

MATT: And it hits. She takes five points of piercing damage from the cultist. All righty, that finishes her turn. Caduceus and the vrock are up.

TALIESIN: Vrock first.

MATT: Okay, vrock, take your turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Sorry.

SAM: When does vrock lose its connection with Fjord?

MARISHA: It did.

TRAVIS: Immediately?

SAM: Is it after this turn?

MATT: No, it's right now. It lost its turn.

LIAM: So you're in control now?

MATT: Technically.

TRAVIS: It has multi-attack. It has a bunch of shit. I can-- you got it.

MATT: “On a successful save, your Control of the demon ends and the demon spends its turns pursuing and attacking the nearest non-demons to the best of its ability. Technically, Obann's a fiend, so it's not going to go after Obann.

SAM: Wait, it's not going to-- a fiend is a demon?

MATT: He's allied with an entity of the Abyss.


MATT: And he's a fiend.

LAURA: But he's a devil.

MATT: He's not a devil. Not anymore.

SAM: What? What do you mean, not any more?

TRAVIS: He made a deal or something.

LAURA: But he looks like a devil.

MATT: Well, he has a devilish heritage, but his alliance--

SAM: No, you're right, Matt.

MATT: No, no, no, I think with the vrock not having any knowledge of Obann's current thing-- no, he'd go after Obann. Yeah, let's go for it. Yeah, it's a good point. So since you have the stats up, if you want to go ahead and roll for me?

TRAVIS: Sure, would you like to do a multiattack? Would you like to Send Spores, or a Stunning Screech?

MATT: Multiattack on it first.

TRAVIS: You got it, okay. First one is a beak attack, which is a plus six to hit, so that's 21.

LIAM: Peck, peck, peck.

MATT: 21, that hits.

TRAVIS: Okay, 26 plus three. A seven, that's nine points of piercing damage.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: And the talon attack is plus six to hit, which is an 11, so it'll miss.

MATT: Misses. All right, so that's the vrock's go. And it's going to stay closest to him, and just stay engaged going after him.


MATT: All right, that finishes its turn. Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to turn invisible.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: This is the first thing I'm going to do, because this is a lot.

MATT: Can you do it as an action or a bonus?

TALIESIN: That's a bonus action.

MATT: Nice!

TALIESIN: And also, I can cast spells while I'm invisible. I can do a lot of stuff. I'm just trying to find that.

MATT: It says you can cast it while you're invisible.

TALIESIN: Bonus action, turn invisible until the start of your next turn. You attack, deal damage or force a saving throw. Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay, so--

MARISHA: This does look like a WarCraft raid.

TALIESIN: I'm going to--

MARISHA: All the nameplates above all the characters.

TALIESIN: Because I'm going to bump the microphone and make a weird sound.

MATT: Do it. Do it!

TALIESIN: I'm going to back up to get a little cover from Obann, if I can.

MATT: Back up here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, and maybe like--

MATT: There's not much to get cover here unless you want to go under the table.

TALIESIN: No, no, no. And I just want a clear shot of Yasha, if I can see Yasha.

MATT: She has half cover from where you're standing right now

TALIESIN: Okay, well, I'm going to cast Dispel.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I know that there's a little orange mark.

MATT: Correct, you're too far to see it.

TALIESIN: Do I have to see it to Dispel it if I know where it is?

MATT: If you do not-- it's not an effect, it's a focus. So I would say yes, you would have to discern it.

TALIESIN: Okay, so instead--

MATT: You'd have to get closer to do that.

TALIESIN: Okay, so I'm going to turn invisible, and move towards until I can see it.

MATT: Okay. 30, you get right there. You can see her. It's an action to attempt to discern it. It's not just a casual look, this is you trying to make out a detail. Which means you can attempt that next turn. But you have to see it first.

TALIESIN: Oh! Okay. Can I be against the pillar if I'm going to be doing this?

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: Thank you. I just don't want to be-- I want to make it as hard as possible to get riled up. I will attempt to discern it.

MATT: Roll a perception check for me.

TALIESIN: Okay. 11.

MATT: 11? Okay. You had to beat at 10. (gasping) Make an active search from looking at her from behind. You glance in and peer as she's attacking and moving, and you see that glimmer, that flash of orange at the base of her neck. And you now know exactly where it is, and where the focus can be attributed. That's your turn.

LAURA: Can you do a bonus?

MATT: He did a bonus to turn invisible.

TALIESIN: My bonus is to turn invisible.

LAURA: Oh, okay, okay.

MATT: It's now the Laughing Hand's turn.

SAM: Oh shit.

LAURA: That was awesome, and smart, smart, smart.

MATT: The Laughing Hand turns towards Beauregard, kicks the chair down the way. It falls over.

LAURA: You can do this, Beau.

MATT: Knocks the actual altar itself. It (whooshing) skids forward as he kicks it out of the way. And is going to go ahead and make two melee attacks against you.

MARISHA: With disadvantage.

MATT: Mm-hmm. First one is 21 to hit.

MARISHA: (groaning)

MATT: The right arm.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: And the second one is a natural 20.


TALIESIN: Wait, wait, with disadvantage?

MATT: Oh no, so sorry. It's natural 20 and 18, so the second one just hits, with a 29.

LAURA: Okay. Well, that's better than a critical.

MATT: Better than a critical.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Patient Defense is your friend here. All right, so that brings you to--

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it is, you're right.

MATT: I'm trying to give you the benefit here.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: So as the blade arcs and slams into you, you try and parry out of the way. And as you feel cut across your hand, the side of your chest and down to your hip, and blood just (whooshing) scatters across the stone.

MARISHA: Bigger than I remember.

MATT: You take 21 points of slashing damage. And then it's going to slam you with its other fist. It's going to (whooshing) which it did hit critical. That is going to be 14 points of bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: It could be worse.

MATT: All righty. Top of the round. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You watched them all barrel through. You watched Beauregard just get smacked around by the Laughing Hand. You watched the Caedogeist appear and stab the fuck out of Fjord, and Fjord's now doubling over. You see Yasha appearing and striking at Nott. Caduceus vanishes. You can't even see where Caleb is. What are you doing?

MARISHA: It's fucking chaos!

LAURA: Are you about to die, Fjord? Does he look like he's about to die?

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: What's more important, trying to take down Obann or trying to heal? I don't think I can stay ahead of all the damage, so it's going to be a matter of getting people back up, I think.

TALIESIN: I ain't gonna disagree.

LAURA: I'm going to--

TRAVIS: I have a question.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: If I'm poisoned, do I take damage every round, or is it just disadvantage on attack rolls?

MATT: What you know right now, it's just disadvantage on attack rolls.

TRAVIS: What I know right now, okay.

MATT: You can just feel it like (whooshing) through your veins.

LAURA: It's not even that much healing. It's not that much healing! Even at the highest level, it doesn't do shit.

SAM: Do your thing. You don't heal, you attack.

LAURA: It's not that I--

SAM: That's what you do.

LAURA: I'm going to 4th-level Guiding Bolt Obann.

MATT: Okay, roll for attack.

LAURA: Pew, pew!

TRAVIS: I'm a paladin!

MARISHA: A paladin!

SAM: What's that mean?

TRAVIS: I can do stuff.

LAURA: He can.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: That's good.

TALIESIN: That's very good.

LAURA: Because that is a 34 to hit. No, no, 24.



MATT: I was like, holy shit!

TALIESIN: Still amazing.

LAURA: It's still good.

MATT: Still amazing, that definitely hits.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Physician, heal thyself.

LAURA: That's 7d6. Okay, 10--

SAM: Caleb, you're close to Obann, right? Where are you?

TALIESIN: Behind the machine.

LAURA: 19.

LIAM: Behind the door.

LAURA: 22 points of radiant damage.

MATT: Oof, nice!

LAURA: And he's glowing.

MATT: So he gets blasted, like pushed back three feet in the air. His wings have to correct as he floats there for a second, the vrock still harrying him. He looks down at you.

LAURA: That's my duplicate. Pew, pew!

MATT: Yeah, at the duplicate.

LAURA: And then my bonus action, and I'm going to take my Spiritual Weapon and try to clock the one that's next to Fjord and try to get some of those dudes off him.

MATT: Go for it, roll for an attack.

LAURA: Whoa, wow, wow! That was aggressive. 19.

MATT: 19 hits, go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Eight points.

MATT: Eight points of damage. He had taken a lot of damage previously from attacking Fjord, and as it gets clobbered into the ground, splats across the marble floor.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right, you want to move or stay put?

LAURA: I'm staying put.

MATT: Okay. All right, that brings us to Nott. You're up.

SAM: I'm going to disengage by tapping Yasha on one shoulder, and then running around the other side.


MATT: Okay. All right, now where are you going?

SAM: Straight that way until I get--

MATT: As soon as you move out of the way, Yasha, take your Sentinel attack, because it ignores disengage.

SAM: Oh shit!


TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh no!

ASHLEY: Do I still use reckless?

MARISHA: (weakly) Sentinel babes!

ASHLEY: That's okay.

MATT: You weren't reckless last turn.

ASHLEY: I was.

MATT: Then how'd you roll double ones?


MATT: That was the first attack, then? Then there would have been a second attack That's okay, we can roll that after this.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: So if you were reckless--

SAM: This turn got real bad for me.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah, really.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I did reckless, and I forgot my second attack, sorry.

MATT: No worries, it's all good. We'll come back and we'll retroactively do that.


MATT: So for reckless, I believe it's only on your turn, but I'll double check here. Reckless attack...

SAM: The old tap on the shoulder trick did not work.

MATT: Major weapon attack rolls using strength during this turn. So yeah, you do not have an advantage on this. So what'd you roll?

ASHLEY: I rolled a 19, but with the Skingorger, that is a critical hit.

MATT: That is, yeah. So go ahead roll damage.

TALIESIN: I'm going to-- I'm going to-- am I within 30?

ASHLEY: Nah, let me do it.

MATT: Of her? Yeah. (laughter) You are, yeah. So you go ahead and you cancel the critical hit, so just roll regular damage.

SAM: Is that a spell that you just cast?


SAM: It's an effect?

TALIESIN: It's a reaction.

MATT: Whoo! You're lucky!

SAM: But he doesn't pop out from invisibility there?

TALIESIN: No, I'm fine.

SAM: Great.

ASHLEY: Oh, I rolled low. It's eight.

MATT: That includes your extra d6 for your first strike on the turn?


MATT: Don't forget that.

ASHLEY: 11 points of damage.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: So take 11 points of damage.

SAM: Okay, now I will use my Uncanny Dodge to reduce that to five, right?

MATT: Yep, but your speed is reduced to zero, so you are stuck there. She hooks your foot, and you fall on the ground and get back up, and she's just on top of you.

SAM: Damn it! Okay, I'm like on your left side of Yasha right now, right?

TALIESIN: Actually, you wouldn't have been able to even get that far would you, if you would still be--

MATT: Well, he moved around.

TALIESIN: Oh, he moved around.

MATT: And as soon he tried to move out of her combat range...

TALIESIN: Because you moved through, yeah.

SAM: So attacks on Obann still have advantage, because you hit--

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: And he's engaged with-- yeah.

MATT: He's not engaged with an ally, but the next attack has advantage over you.

SAM: It doesn't have to be an ally. He has to be engaged with an enemy of him.

MATT: Oh, okay, yeah. That's a valid point.

SAM: But either way, am I more than 30 feet away? Because that imposes disadvantage on my crossbow shot.

MATT: But don't you have the crossbow--

SAM: I have--

MATT: Oh, wait, no, no.

SAM: No, I don't.

MATT: That's the sharpshooter, right?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: So yeah, he would be just beyond 30 feet.

SAM: So what does that mean? Do I get sneak attack or do not?

MATT: Well, you do not get advantage on the attack roll, but you do get sneak attack if you damage him because of the vrock.

SAM: Okay, okay I'll take it. I'll shoot it.

MARISHA: Come on.

SAM: Natural 20.

(cheering) (laughter)

LAURA: (screaming) Yes! Roll so high!





ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MARISHA: (yelling) Roll big! Roll big!

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Not great, but average

LAURA: It's average, it's average.

TALIESIN: With the sneak attack?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: It's average.


MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: The sneak attack roll was average.

MATT: Add all the dice together.

SAM: 18 on the dice.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Times two.

MATT: So 36 damage plus--

SAM: Plus six is 42. I'll add Fury of the Small, 52.

MATT: Ooh! Oh, that's not good!

SAM: And shoots again.

TALIESIN: Shoots again.

MATT: Go for it. Well no, you used your bonus action to disengage. Oh no, it shoots again.

SAM: It shoots again.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: 20 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. That's exactly his armor class.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: 12 more points of damage!

MATT: Nice! So as Obann's like (flapping) away from the vrock, suddenly (whooshing) ah! He tumbles five feet, manages to pull back up, and gets shot again, looks down at you, and is furious at both of you. Fuck! Okay, that's your turn.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: All right. He's looking hurt. Obann's looking hurt.

SAM: That's good, that's good.

MATT: That brings us to Obann's turn.

SAM: I'm a dead goblin.

MATT: Obann is going to pull away from the vrock, so he gets an attack of opportunity. Go ahead and make one for me.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's going to hit. That's a 19 plus something.

MATT: Yeah that hits, go ahead and damage.

TRAVIS: Let's do the talon attack, so that's--

TALIESIN: Did that burn the advantage-- his attack?

MATT: No, the next attack. It kept it from being disadvantaged.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: 11 points of slashing damage.

MATT: Got it, okay. He takes half of that.

TRAVIS: (whispering) That was wrong this time, but it's okay.

MATT: It's okay. All right. And he's going to swoop down the stair, right into Nott's eyes.

SAM: (wailing)

MATT: And he'll say, "Oh, maybe you're more useful than I thought." I need you to go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: Come on!

SAM: Wisdom not my thing.

TRAVIS: Do it! Do it! Counterspell it!

LIAM: No, I'm not going to do it.

SAM: Eight.

MATT: Eight?

LIAM: I also have to see. They're out of my sight.

MATT: You are--

LAURA: I'm not going to do it--

MATT: --charmed by Obann.

LIAM: I also have to have visual.

LAURA: No, I know that.

SAM: I'm charmed.

MATT: And Obann says, "This area grows dangerous. Come with me, we have business." And he darts down and through the doors, closing them behind him.

LIAM: Oh, and went into the basement?

SAM: Wait!

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Closed the doors-- how can I follow him? He's really sending mixed messages.


MARISHA: Follow me! (slam)

SAM: Do I follow?

MATT: When it comes-- it's not your turn.

SAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: But you're currently charmed by him, and you consider everybody else any enemy.

SAM: Okay, great.

MATT: All right. That brings us to Caleb's turn.

LIAM: Yeah, okay. So standing in the rain pouring in through the broken window, the Cat's Claw looms up over my head, and hopefully, slashes the shit out of the cultist in front of me.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Oh, natural one!



MATT: Sorry, Travis.


LIAM: And I curse him in Zemnian under my breath, and slap my hands together. (whooshing) And I cross my fingers for good luck, and throw here.

MATT: To get?

LIAM: Because I can see his head. I'm trying to get his head.

MATT: Right, I understand.

LIAM: So I would use--

MATT: Well, he's on the outskirts. If you hit him--

LIAM: I would move it--

MATT: --it's high enough. I could say yes, to hit him. Because he's so tall and on the top, you can probably hit him and miss Yasha, if you want to, or you can hit Yasha.

LIAM: I was not worried about that.


ASHLEY: She's raging.

TRAVIS: That's only fire damage, though.

LIAM: I was actually trying to get as many of these people as I could without--

MATT: Oh, like here you mean?

LIAM: --hitting myself and while hitting him.

MATT: To hit the guy near you, it'll also hit Nott and him, so you'll have to hit everything but the guy who's up next to you.

LIAM: I don't know where Nott is.

MATT: Nott is right there.

LIAM: No, I know where Nott is.

MATT: No, you mean you don't know that. So if you're doing this, then yeah, it'll go after Nott as well.

SAM: It's okay. I'm an enemy.

LAURA: That's true.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm doing it.

LAURA: It might knock you out.

MATT: So it hits both Yasha and Nott.

SAM: I just used my reaction. Oh, but this is--

MATT: This is evasion.

LIAM: It's evasion, man.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: So go ahead and roll your damage.

LIAM: That's why to going to have a-- 18, 20--

SAM: This is a complicated fight.

TRAVIS: That was fucking awesome.

MATT: It is.

LIAM: 30 points of fire damage.

MATT: 30 points of fire damage. Laughing Hand rolls-- oh, almost a 19! Nine, failure. But he gets half of that, because he's resistant. No, he's lost resistances. That's right, so it's 30. 30 to the Laughing Hand! He's taking hits. All right, so against--

ASHLEY: 30 points of fire damage?

SAM: Are you raging? Does that do anything?

MATT: Even if both these guys succeed they explode and burn out of the way.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's got physical damage.

MATT: Roll another wisdom saving throw, please.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Actually, on the defense.

LIAM: For defense, yeah.

MATT: That guy next to you-- he rolls a 16 plus one, 17.

LIAM: (singing) Ah, oh, oh! He saves.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

LIAM: That's DC 17.

SAM: (singing) Ah, ah, oh!

MATT: But he's already taken a hit, though, right?

LIAM: I don't remember. I think he ran over. He was a Spiritual Weapon guy.

MATT: The Spiritual Weapon guy was destroyed. He went over, so you have not hit him yet, yes.

LIAM: I don't think I have.

TALIESIN: I feel like he got hit by something. I feel like everybody's been hit by something.

LAURA: I don't know

SAM: Caduceus!

TALIESIN: Maybe not.

LAURA: He might have been hit by the last fireball, but he didn't go down.

LIAM: He was over here, but he ran from--

MATT: He rushed over here, and then ran over here, and then dashed up to catch him.

LAURA: I don't know.

MATT: I'll say for the terms of it, sure. He's probably taken a hit, and that damage he took from this was almost all his hit points based on what he had anyway, so he is disintegrated from that. And then--

LIAM: He was having a bad day anyway.

MATT: Yasha and Nott, you guys can roll dexterity saving throws, please. Yasha, you do not see its source, so you do not have advantage on this.

LIAM: Now I'll make my wisdom saving roll.

SAM: This is not for the fire that I'm saving against right now, right?

LAURA: Yeah.


SAM: I'm saving against the fire?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Oh, 21.

MATT: 21? Yasha?

ASHLEY: That would be 21.

MATT: 21. 15 points of fire damage to each of you. You take none, though.

SAM: So I take none.

MATT: Because you have evasion.

SAM: So I take none, so I'm going to add it back in.

TRAVIS: Do you roll against the Dominate spell?

TALIESIN: On your turn.

LAURA: When you're hit?


TRAVIS: I thought it was each time you got hit by-- I might be wrong.

MATT: This isn't a spell. This is an ability.


MATT: And even then, he didn't take any damage. Because of his evasion. All right, are you going to move, stay put?

LIAM: Oh, me? And that guy is gone? I'm going to come out this way past the Hand over by that window so I can get eyes on the field, yeah. And I push over--

LAURA: Is this your first time seeing everything?

LIAM: --full view.

TRAVIS: (booming) You guys okay?


LIAM: You guys are just seeing fireworks go off.

TRAVIS: (wailing) Like the weasel around Jester's neck. (falsetto) Help!

MATT: Caleb is done. This one cultist that remains here is going to go ahead and attack the other two in there, with two-- yeah, one of them hits. It's going to do five points to him. That one's looking hurt. Also, these two doors--


SAM: Oh yeah, those guys. Cool, those doors really open.

LAURA: That's pretty cool.

SAM: That's a weird design, though.


MATT: And more of these cultists coming through.

MARISHA: Well, we should put them on different hinges.

MATT: 30.

SAM: Weird building codes.

LAURA: The cultists are like, "Ah! I thought these were push!"

LIAM: One's an entrance only, and one's an exit only.

MATT: That's going to rush up to pincer Pumat.

TRAVIS: (yelling) Not Pumat!

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: They got gold cloaks!

SAM: Save Pumat at all costs.

MATT: Beauregard? Oh, you also have one guy attacking you over there. Two attacks against you.

MARISHA: Disadvantage? I still have Patient Defense up.

MATT: Which is good, because that first one would have been a critical. So instead, that brings it to 15.


MATT: And miss. They both miss. That was a nine.

MARISHA: Jeez Louise!

MATT: Now it's your turn, Beauregard.

TALIESIN: Patient Defense is great.

MARISHA: I love it. Oh, okay. I'm just slip the guy behind me, and as I am dodging him-- as I slip, and I'm going to come around, crack uppercut to the Laughing Hand with my lightning fists, and then I'm going to slip again and go for his kidney.

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: That's something. Or his mouth?

LIAM: Your hands going right in the mouth.


LAURA: Ew! Oh god.

MARISHA: Okay, pop, pop, two attacks. 22 and 27.

MATT: Ooh, both hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: Balls. Crap. 12 plus five, so 17 damage.

MATT: Nice.

MARISHA: Stunning Strike. Stunning Strike on that first one.

MATT: 14.

MARISHA: Miss. Or save-- (sputtering). (yelling) It works is what I'm trying to say!

MATT: That was a ride there in like half a second.

MARISHA: My save is 15.

TRAVIS: That was in the park, home run. And he's first, second, third, home.

MATT: Laughing Hand is stunned.

MARISHA: He's stunned.

MATT: Oh, that first hit! (gurgling) And you punch, it's weird. You fought him previously, and it was like hitting solid rock. As you punch, it has give to it, and your hand almost feels stuck, almost like the flesh is turned to a thick, rubbery molasses. And as you pull your hand out-- whatever you guys did to him, or whatever you did to the Perma-Heart, definitely fucked him up in some ways.

TALIESIN: Mercy killing, really.

MARISHA: (singing) Flurry of Blows.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: (singing) Doing it again with advantage. First pop, 22.

MATT: 22 hits.

MARISHA: Second pop.


MARISHA: What if you roll a natural one, but it's at a-- no, no. 17?

MATT: 17 does not hit.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. So one-- another nine damage.

MATT: Another nine damage. (impacts) You see the eyes go lolling a bit. He's looking hurt.

MARISHA: (singing) And he's stunned.

MATT: Yes, he is.

MARISHA: (singing) For one round.

MATT: All right, that brings us to Yasha.

ASHLEY: Okay, question.

MATT: Yes?

ASHLEY: Am I able to attack Nott if she is on our side now?

MATT: Nott you know is on your side, so no, Nott is a friend. You're used to Obann taking other people's wills for his own. So now the closest enemy to you is Beauregard or Caleb. Both within your reach.

TALIESIN: It doesn't see-- oh, it does see Caleb.

MATT: Caleb moved into her vision, so yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I see Beauregard, and I am going to slowly start walking towards her.

MATT: Okay. You move up the steps, holding the blade. (heavy footsteps) You see Yasha arrive up above the top of the stairs, Skingorger at her side.

MARISHA: Long time no see.

ASHLEY: Raging and reckless.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: It's cocked. Ooh, that's a 19.

SAM: That's a crit.


MATT: It was a natural 19?

ASHLEY: It was a natural 19.

MATT: Yeah, it's a crit with Skingorger.

LAURA: Are you Patient Defensing?


MARISHA: I Flurry of Blows'd.

LIAM: Nailed it.

ASHLEY: Okay, and Divine Fury, so that's--

SAM: Oh boy, guys! It feels like this fight's been going on for two hours.

LAURA: It has.

MARISHA: It has.

MATT: It has been. Well, almost.

SAM: That's why it feels like it.

ASHLEY: That would be 15.

MATT: 15 damage?

ASHLEY: That was the damage, and then that's--

MATT: That's with the extra d6, right?

ASHLEY: That's with the extra d6.

MATT: Doubling the dice, and then adding your attack modifier.

ASHLEY: Well, doubling, that would be--

MARISHA: (laughs) Oh no!

MATT: You double the dice.

ASHLEY: Double the dice?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes, so that would be 20.

MATT: So 20? You take 20 points of damage total.

MARISHA: What was the--

ASHLEY: I am so sorry.

MARISHA: --number you just said?



MATT: 25 points of damage from Yasha's first strike.

ASHLEY: 25. (groaning)

MATT: You're out?

MARISHA: I'm out.

MATT: Beauregard falls.

ASHLEY: Sorry, 27.

SAM: There's a lot of math going on over there.

ASHLEY: Sorry, 55.


ASHLEY: Just kidding, I'm just kidding. She's out?

MATT: You guys watch as Beauregard suddenly falls down with a blow of Yasha. (whooshing) Make your second attack?


SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: With advantage because of reckless.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: I'll instantly take two death save fails, right?

MATT: If she hits you, yeah.


LAURA: Are you going to hit her again?

ASHLEY: It's 21.

MATT: So you fail two death saves. Yasha cuts Beau down. She falls to the ground. And you watch her step up and take the Skingorger and just-- (impact) (gasping) It evokes imagery you've seen once before.

ASHLEY: (whispering) Oh, fuck!

SAM: Oh no!


SAM: Oh nos!

TRAVIS: Oh, I just got the worst chills.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: That's your turn, right?



TALIESIN: Do you want to move?


LAURA: (whispering) I don't know who's in between. There are so many extra things.

MATT: You still have more movement if you want to.

LAURA: (whispering) How low are you, though?

MATT: You used 15 movement feet to get to her, so you can move another 20 if you want.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I start having tears roll down my face, and I slowly turn around, and I start walking down the stairs.

MATT: Towards?

ASHLEY: Towards Fjord.


MATT: Yasha comes towards you, blade at the side, tears down her face. All right, that finishes your turn, Yasha. Fjord, it's your go.

SAM: Welcome back, Ashley!

MARISHA: Two death saves. Two death fails.

TRAVIS: That totally changes what I was going to do.

LIAM: Next roll's real important.

MARISHA: Next roll's really important.

TRAVIS: Shit. So she's standing between me and Beau?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: All right, on the fly. On the fly, on the fly.

LAURA: (singing) Orphan Maker! Making some orphans!

SAM: (singing) Making all those orphans!

TALIESIN: We've got a long time before your turn comes.

MARISHA: Is it very long time?

LIAM: Six seconds.

MARISHA: But a lot of things can happen, like other things attacking me in that time.

MATT: At least you went (laughs) before Yasha and not after.

TRAVIS: All right. I'm going to look at Yasha walking towards me. I'm going to hold my hand out and say: Tell me you can hear me, and I will cast Enervation at Yasha.

MARISHA: What is that?

SAM: What? I've never heard that word in my life. Enervation?

LAURA: What is Enervation?

TRAVIS: It is "a tendril of inky darkness reaches out from you, touching a creature you can see within range to drain life from it. It must make a dex saving throw of 17."

MATT: All right, go ahead and make a dex saving throw. You do have ad--

ASHLEY: Would I have advantage even if I don't know what it is?

TRAVIS: There is a barbarian thing--

ASHLEY: I love how I'm arguing against--

LAURA: You're raging?

TRAVIS: It's not a rage thing.

ASHLEY: Dex on effects that you can see while not blinded.

MATT: Well, you can see, so yes, you have advantage on it.

ASHLEY: So that would be a 14. First's one good. And 14 both, too.

MATT: So that's a fail, right?


MATT: You can roll your damage.

TRAVIS: All right.

SAM: So she's dead?


SAM: You killed her?

MATT: She takes 4d8 necrotic damage.

LAURA: Whoa!

TRAVIS: So you take 21 points of necrotic damage, and I take 11 points of healing.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: That's pretty tits right there.

MARISHA: Awesome!

MATT: So you watch as Fjord does this. Reach out and grasps his fingers, suddenly the shadows bite into you like teeth, and the pain strikes through your body, and as the blood pulls out, it (whooshing) all shoots towards Fjord, and you watch his wounds begin to seal. But the shadows stick to you. The spell continues.

ASHLEY: There's the slightest look of relief.

MATT: Fjord, is that your turn?

TRAVIS: That guy is still behind me, right?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And Yasha's within melee range now?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.

MATT: All right. Pumat's turn. Pumat's now being flanked by two guys, and is like, "All right, this is problematic. (grunts)" And he's going to go ahead and begin to cast a spell. As he reaches back behind, there's a shortsword in a sheath behind him. And as he pulls it out, he begins casting, muttering under his breath. And you watch as suddenly, his body begins to swell in size. You watch his muscles (bursting). He grows about three feet taller.

TALIESIN: Oh, I've been hoping to say it. Keep going.

MATT: And his robe pulls, Hulk-style, at the edges of his body. His shortsword now suddenly emits this force energy around it. (whooshing) And Pumat is now Hulked out between the two of them.

TALIESIN: Do we want to say it together? Three, two, one.


TALIESIN: Thank you.


TALIESIN: Been sitting on that for so long, hoping there'd be a reason.

MATT: He gains 50 temporary hit points.

TRAVIS: Oh, what the fuck is this?

MATT: It is a spell called Transformation.

LAURA: Oh my god.


MATT: He's going to swing towards the cultist to his left with the shortsword.


LIAM: He's straight up Andre the Giant.


MATT: 15, that hits. So he's going to deal six plus two-- eight points of slashing damage, plus 15 points of force damage, and just (whooshing) scatters that cultist to one side. Spins to swing against the other one. 14 misses the other one. (whooshing) But you see Pumat just completely disintegrate one of them with a blow, and the other when-- he swings wide, he goes (screaming) and freaks out, and just turns toward them. (crashing) "Don't worry, I got this." (laughter) He's going to move here and spin to turn his way in that direction of the battle. That finishes his turn. It is now-- just turn two of them. This one here is going to go ahead and swing. Actually, seeing Pumat like that, he's going to rush over and strike him now that he's the big threat. And the other one's going to attack you, Fjord. With advantage, because he's behind you. That's cocked on that one. That's an eight, misses. Second attack, 20.


MATT: All right. You take six points of piercing damage.

TRAVIS: He will take six points of radiant damage.

MATT: And that will destroy him. (exploding) It just scatters off as he strikes you from behind, the sword pulsing with each time you take damage. And the one that's going to be attacking Pumat-- Nope, he misses with the first attack, and hits with the second one. Pumat takes eight points of damage from that. All righty, it is now--

SAM: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: I totally fucking forgot-

MARISHA: Oh fuck, forgot about this bitch.

TALIESIN: I didn't.

TRAVIS: She just came up right up in your grill.


MATT: And there it will end. What's your passive perception, by the way?

LAURA: Passive perception? 15.

MATT: Yeah, you do not even notice until she's right upon you.

LAURA: (screaming)

MATT: Like you're looking at this, and suddenly it's like (whooshing) right into your face, and she stabs you right in the gut, or attempts to, at least.

MARISHA: Clever girl.

SAM: Block that shit. Block that shit.

MATT: That's going to be 24 to hit.

TALIESIN: Jesus H. Fucking Christ!

MATT: You suffer--

TALIESIN: It's two of these is all it takes.

ASHLEY: I'm stressing.

SAM: It's not looking good for our heroes, guys.

MARISHA: No, it's really not. We got to do something.

SAM: We got one down and dying.

MATT: 42 points of piercing damage. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Working on it.

LAURA: 17 plus three, a 20?

MATT: 20?

TALIESIN: Not this round.

MATT: Okay, no worries. And the second attack against you does not have advantage.

TALIESIN: I can do some other shit that's rad.

MATT: 18.

LAURA: Oh, it hits my brand new shield and gets blocked!

MATT: You deflect the second blow.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: And then she is going to vanish back into the floor.

LAURA: Do I get an attack of opportunity on her?

TALIESIN: If you want it, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, yeah, with my axe.

TALIESIN: Unless you were planning on using a reaction.

LAURA: Oh. No, I don't really do anything with reaction.

MATT: Do you have War Caster?


MATT: Okay, gotcha.

LAURA: Ah! Whoa. That's--

SAM: What is that?

LAURA: I don't know, that's cocked.

SAM: What is this dice?

LAURA: It's awesome is what it is, if I can tell what-- 14 plus eight, so 22.

MATT: 22? That hits, go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Cool!

SAM: Extract Aspects!

LAURA: Seven points of slashing damage.

MATT: As you strike her, she vanishes back into the floor. Disappears out of sight. All right, that finishes her turn. Caduceus and the vrock. With Obann gone, the vrock's nearest enemy... It's going to be Yasha.

ALL: Oh!


SAM: Yeah!

MATT: Swoops down. Go ahead and make the attacks against Yasha. You have advantage, because she'd used reckless strikes.

TRAVIS: Oh jesus! Okay, you want the talon and the bite attack?

MATT: Yeah.


TALIESIN: How do we get rid of this thing?

SAM: (laughs) How do we get rid of it?

LAURA: We have to fight it.

MARISHA: And kill it.

TRAVIS: With advantage, that's only a 15 to hit.

MATT: Armor class is?


MATT: 17. By the way, you guys will notice now Yasha is wearing a new breastplate. It has these curled tusk-type horns that come off the front and curve over the shoulders.

SAM: Whoa!

LAURA: Oh shit!

MARISHA: That's badass.

SAM: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Wow. 17?

MARISHA: It's cool.

MATT: Just hits.

ASHLEY: 17 just hits.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that. It's half damage, though, because of your rage.


TRAVIS: 10, so five.

MATT: Five points. All right. Caduceus?

TALIESIN: I become visible.

MATT: The vrock is right there.

TALIESIN: Does the vrock notice me?

LAURA: Vrock is very surprised.

MATT: As you appear? I mean, it's focused on attacking Yasha, but you're in melee with it.

TALIESIN: I am in melee with it. That's irritating.

LIAM: (clucking)

TRAVIS: You know that vrocks sound like chickens.

SAM: You could move away and then do it.

TALIESIN: No, I can't. I turned visible at the start of my turn.

SAM: Oh, because yours is some weird ability.

TALIESIN: Some weird ability. So first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to cast Dispel at level five at the back of Yasha's neck.

MATT: 5th-level?

TALIESIN: 5th-level.

MARISHA: Come on. Come on!

MATT: That works.


MATT: So as you appear, and you turn, the vrock harrowing Yasha, she spins around, blade ready. You see Beauregard over there bleeding to death on the top of the altar. Fjord is sitting there, desperately backing up. As you focus and concentrate, the light around the cathedral fades, and darkness of the clouds above (distant thunder) take the space. As you open your hand and concentrate, and feel the Wildmother's energy course through you, the Dispel Magic emanates from her neck, and you watch the symbol burn bright and then shatter. As it does, lightning strikes the outside. All of the stained glass windows shatter at once, raining down into the center of the cathedral.

SAM: Oh wow!

MATT: Yasha grabs the back of her neck. And for the first time in as long as you can remember, Obann's out of your head.

ASHLEY: I let out a primal scream of agony and relief and everything, and just fall on my knees.

LAURA: (sobbing)

ASHLEY: (gasping)

MATT: That's your action.

TALIESIN: That's my action. For my bonus action-- as I have done my prayer and my little thing, I'm just going to turn, and a little beetle is going to run up and tap Beau on the ankle, and Spare the Dying. It's going to be cast.

MATT: So you are stabilized.

SAM: Woo-hoo-hoo!

MATT: Grave Clerics, yo!

SAM: Oh, Caduceus!

ASHLEY: If I came back, and you fucking died at the table, I'd be like, I'm going to see myself out.

TALIESIN: Seeing what's happened, I'm going to make sure that I'm standing next to Yasha.

MATT: You are.

TALIESIN: So I'm just going to keep my back to the wall. Not going to move.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to say: We got it back. That's my turn.

MATT: Finishing Caduceus' turn. Yasha?

MARISHA: Stabilize means zero?

TALIESIN: You are at three successes.

MATT: You're not up, you're just no longer making death saves.

TALIESIN: You are at zero.

MATT: Obann washes away, and you hear the crackle of thunder echoing through the city. And you feel the surge of strength fill you, as the entity that's been trying desperately to help you break through is definitely now at your side. You close your eyes and remember yourself fighting against the chains and the dreams that were given. And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.

LIAM: Heavy metal music plays.

MATT: It's the Laughing Hand's turn. He is stunned. Does nothing, because he's fucking stunned.

SAM: Damn!

MARISHA: (singing) Rock harpist!

MATT: Until the end of Beau's next turn. Jester, you're up.

ASHLEY: (whispering) Oh my god.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to have my duplicate run up to Beau on the ground.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, do a touch heal.

LAURA: Yeah, she's going to kneel down and put both her hands on the side of Beau's face and cast as Cure Wounds at 4th-level.

MATT: At 4th-level?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: It's 4d8.

TALIESIN: Welcome fucking back.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah!

MARISHA: Oh, welcome back.

TALIESIN: Ah! Ah, fuck some shit up!

MARISHA: Oh, fuck.

TALIESIN: Ah fuck.

LAURA: 11, 16, 22! Plus five! 27!

MATT: 27 points of healing to you, Beauregard. That's great.

MARISHA: (groaning) Whoa, mouth tastes like blood. (gurgling) Wait, what?

MATT: You look up, and the first thing you see is Laughing Hand overhead, going (wheezing and slow cackling). And you're like, oh, shit shit, shit!

LAURA: Well, the first thing you see is my duplicate--

MATT: That's true.

LAURA: -- waving.


MATT: You are covered in shattered stained glass, by the way.

MARISHA: (groaning) Thanks, Jester.

SAM: Jes dupe.

MARISHA: Jes dupe.

MATT: Jester, does that finish your turn? Are you going to move?

TRAVIS: Is there rain pouring in through the open windows now?

MATT: It's starting to, yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to run over-- oh god. There's nowhere to hide from this stupid chick. But I'm going to come and try to get over here if I can.

MATT: 25, 30, that's as far as you can move. You got it.

LAURA: Thanks.

MATT: Nott?

SAM: Beauregard is prone.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: That imposes disadvantage on my attack.

MATT: Correct, but Obann said to follow.

SAM: Yes, but I want to bust off a shot before I go.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

SAM: But she's at disadvantage.

MATT: Disadvantage on a strike against Beauregard, go for it.

SAM: So I don't get sneak attack?

MATT: You do not.

SAM: And I'm too far from anyone who I would have advantage on.

MATT: Correct. Because they've got Yasha back.

SAM: So there's no clear favorite to who I would shoot.

MATT: Pumat, technically, but you have disadvantage from that distance.

SAM: Yeah, that's disadvantage also.

ASHLEY: I'm also not on your side anymore.

MATT: But he has allies next to him, so you would.

LAURA: Oh, that's true, Yasha.

ASHLEY: I'm not friends with--

SAM: So I would fire with disadvantage on the shot, but I would still get sneak attack if I hit?

MATT: Against Pumat, you would, yes.

SAM: Oh, and against Beauregard.

MATT: Against Beauregard, yeah.

LAURA: Do you know that's my duplicate, or do you think that might be me?

SAM: I don't know. That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know what I saw earlier, and if I retained that information. I assume I'd retain that information.

LAURA: Yeah, but you don't know which one is me and which one's the duplicate.

SAM: That's true. Should I roll to find out?

MATT: Who would you want to attack?

SAM: I would want to attack the person who I would get most damage on, which would be Jester's duplicate, if I think it's Jester.

MATT: Roll an intelligence check. You can roll d20, add your intelligence modifier. If you roll a 10 or higher--

SAM: Natural one.

MARISHA: 500 bucks! OSD!

MATT: So yeah, you think that's Jester. (laughter)

SAM: So I will attack Jester.

MATT: Okay, roll for the attack.

SAM: Oh, it's terrible, anyway. 12.

MATT: It passes through.

MARISHA: Jes Dupe, look out! Oh. Don't-- it's fine.

SAM: Then I'll say: Come, Hand, let's leave! And I will go down the stairs.

MATT: Nott vanishes through the door.

LAURA: (screeching) Come, come!

SAM: Come, Hand!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Oh no, now we've lost Nott.

MATT: That finishes Nott's go. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Caleb, totally rain-soaked and numb, just starts walking in, having seen Beauregard, his good friend, get stabbed through. Pulled up, walks directly behind the Laughing Hand, pulls out the Cat's Cradle, slams it into the ground. And I cast Widogast's Web of Fire, and concentrate it on the Laughing Hand. I'm actually standing in front of the column. So that can jump five feet or climb five feet, so it should be able to go up and slam into his ass.

MATT: Yep.

LIAM: 5th-level. So that will be 11d6.

SAM: 11d6.

MARISHA: Do you have to roll to hit?


MARISHA: Fucking dope. Fucking not.

LIAM: Oh, dex save for him.

LAURA: But he's stunned.

LIAM: Stunned.

MATT: He's stunned, which means he automatically fails dexterity saving throws.

LAURA: Look at all those red dice.

LIAM: 40--

MARISHA: Kill it.

LIAM: 46 points of fire damage.


MATT: How do you want to do this?


LIAM: So Cat's Cradle hits the ground, ring of fireballs. (hissing) And all of the motes of fire stretch out and converge into one thick five-foot wide wall, and like a tsunami of fire, just goes (whooshing). Jumps up the steps, climbs up his back, and burns his entire backside.

MATT: As the flames engulf him, the fire is a bonfire. The heat is immense. And Beauregard, you have to wince and pull away a bit, it's burning so hot. He just stands there, not reacting, the flames just engulfing, and the laughter gets louder. And louder. And louder. Then thinner. Then thinner. (whispering) Then thinner. And then the flames eventually burn out, and he's still just standing, A blackened body on its feet.

LAURA: Oh, sick!


LIAM: Get the fuck away from my friends.

TRAVIS: Wo-o-ow! (laughs)

SAM: (yelling) Hand, you coming?


Should I wait, or should I-- I'm just going to go.

MATT: All right. The cultist over there is going to go ahead and take its strikes at Pumat.

TRAVIS: Pumat Swole?

MATT: Pumat Swole. One hit. Pumat takes six points of slashing damage. They're all just grazing off of him from the temporary hit points. And you watch as two more begin to rush from around the corners here.

MARISHA: What the fuck!

MATT: They get this close with their full movement to get in there. And you hear skittering noises coming from up inside there.

LAURA: Come on!

LIAM: A rainbow Volkswagen pulls up, and 20 guys come running out.

MARISHA: Some monster spawner somewhere.

MATT: Beauregard, it's your turn.

MARISHA: It's my turn? Oh, it's my turn! Ah. I'm going to stand up.

MATT: Pumat also maintains concentration on the--

TRAVIS: What's that?

MARISHA: Are we going to try and make a run for it? What should we do?

MATT: You still have a vrock, by the way, that's been summoned, and is just fighting whatever is nearby.

LIAM: Oh, I didn't use my bonus action for my kitty claw.

MATT: That's true. What do you want to do with that?

LIAM: Can I send it over to hit the vrock, please?

MATT: Sure.

ASHLEY: It's time to vrock? What was it?

TALIESIN: Vrock and roll.

TRAVIS: Whatever it was, it didn't vrock so much.

MATT: (laughs) Nope.

LIAM: Rolled a 12.

MATT: What's the armor class of the vrock?

TRAVIS: Sorry. 15.

MATT: 15? Yeah, misses, so the claws just miss. The vrock dodges out of the way.

TALIESIN: There's two people coming.

LIAM: We got a lady in the floor.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Did I see Nott go downstairs?

MATT: Nope.

MARISHA: No? Okay.

MATT: You just come to consciousness, and you pull back, watching the Laughing Hand just burn into a cinder. You wake up, you look up and see Jester's form, and you see Yasha over there on her knees, holding the Skingorger. You're covered in stained glass that's broken. Caleb walks around the way, and just looking intensely in his eyes. Fjord is still like (groaning). The poison's still coursing through his body. And Caduceus is on the other side of the vrock who's now thrashing around.

MARISHA: I want to-- still in shock, but on autopilot, get up, wipe my mouth, and just stumble as I stagger over to this demon, on autopilot, and shake my head, and jump back in the fight.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: I'm holding my rib that's still fucked up. Oh, jeez Louise. 16 and a 16.

MATT: 16 and 16? The vrock's AC is 15?


MARISHA: No, no, no, I wanted this guy.

MATT: Oh, him! Sorry, I missed that. All right, go for it.

MARISHA: 16 and 16.

MATT: Both hit.


MATT: Roll damage.

MARISHA: 22 total damage.

MATT: Yeah, he is just splatted.

MARISHA: And just like for one more for good measure, curb stomp him. Because I'm so fucked up.

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: And I look up at Pumat, and I'm just like--

MATT: "Hey."

MARISHA: Looking good.

MATT: (deep voice) "Why thank you. I appreciate the words of confidence."

TRAVIS: (laughs) Gun show.

MARISHA: I'm going to just lean on this bench next to me, and that's my turn.

MATT: Okay, you got it. Yasha, your turn.

ASHLEY: Okay, so... feeling a lot of shame and embarrassment, I will turn around to the vrock, and I will attack the vrock.

MATT: Go for it. Recklessly?

ASHLEY: Yes. Oh!

TALIESIN: That die is so frustrating.

ASHLEY: It is. Oh shit! Now that was cocked.

MATT: It was cocked, and your rolled a one, and then--

ASHLEY: And then I rolled a two, so nine.

MATT: A total of nine to hit?


MATT: First strike misses. Second attack, reckless? Yeah.

ASHLEY: 18. 17. Okay, so 18.

MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage. This is full damage, because it's your first strike in the turn, so you got to roll additional d6.

ASHLEY: I roll an additional d6, right. Okay, so that is eight.

MATT: If you want, remember, you can reroll one of the die if you have Savage Attacker.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah.

LAURA: Tight!

MATT: Same.

ASHLEY: 13 points of damage.

MATT: 13 points of damage to the vrock.

TRAVIS: Copy that.

MATT: All righty. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: Yes. What the hell am I doing? Oh, I'm going to look at Yasha and say: I'll take you up on that grief and regret, and I will continue to pull 4d8 necrotic damage--

TALIESIN: I think you saw her turn, though?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I did.


MATT: All right, go for it.

MARISHA: Ha, ha, ha!

TALIESIN: Oh! Oh, I get what's happening now, Okay.

TRAVIS: 19 points of necrotic damage.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: 19 points.

MATT: That's your action, and then you heal nine.


LIAM: Awesome.

MARISHA: That's cool.

MATT: (laughs) That's pretty rad.


MARISHA: It's very warlocktastic. I'm into it.

TRAVIS: And I will move-- can I move over here behind this pillar, and just lean against like, (groaning) fuck!

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Cool move.

MATT: All right, Pumat's turn.

MARISHA: We're all at that point in the fight.

MATT: Yeah, Pumat's seeing you guys looking rugged, sees everyone rushing through, and goes like, "Hey, there's more guys coming. I'll take care of this, you go ahead." (laughter) And he's going to go ahead and move his hands like this, and as he does, you watch wind--

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LAURA: I love him.

MATT: (whooshing) Until a whirlwind suddenly pulls up in the middle of the chamber, and (whooshing) begins to carve across this way.

LAURA: Does it make it hard for things to fly around the room, maybe?

MATT: It can.

MARISHA: Does it just suck up flying creatures?

SAM: Does it strip the feathers off of any winged creature?

LAURA: And turn them into like a little Thanksgiving turkey.

LIAM: (gobbling)

TALIESIN: Happy Thanksgiving!

MATT: 10-foot radius, 30-foot high cylinder. So this. Here we go.

TALIESIN: Look at all these toys.

LAURA: (whispering) Oh my gosh!

MATT: 30 feet in direction. So he will cast it and move... First appear here. (whooshing) Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. It gets that far. So the wind is whipping and kicking around. Glass shards are being caught up in it and spinning around inside the vortex. The vrock takes a 10d6 bludgeoning damage on a failed save.

LAURA: Whoa!

MATT: So go ahead and roll a dexterity save for the vrock.

TRAVIS: Will do.

LAURA: One, one, one, one!


MATT: 19? Okay. It takes... 14 points of bludgeoning damage. And give it a strength saving throw, please.

TRAVIS: You got it. There's nothing to this, it's just a straight roll, which is a nine.

MATT: A nine. It is restrained and pulled along with it.

MARISHA: Yay, it's sucked up in it!

TALIESIN: Not an attack of opportunity?

MATT: No, because it's forced movement.

TALIESIN: No, its forced movement, thank you.

MATT: But the vrock gets pulled up into the whirlwind, and you see giant Pumat Swole guiding it around. The other cultists that are rushing into like, “Shit!” And they're seeing the whirlwind. He's like, "Go!"

TRAVIS: If we get out of here, we won't have to worry about the vrock. We got to go, we got to go, got to go, got to go.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Downstairs then, huh?



MARISHA: Oh, wait. Oh no. Oh no.

SAM: What?

MARISHA: I think it's Inevitable End's turn.

LIAM: She could also have joined them through the floor.

LAURA: She might have already gone back.

LIAM: We don't know.

MATT: She doesn't show up.


MATT: Caduceus?

TALIESIN: How many feet am I from--

MATT: We'll say for the purposes of the narrative here, they are very focused on Pumat and the whirlwind. You guys could--

TALIESIN: I was going to say, do I need to use my action as well, or am I okay?

MATT: You guys would probably want to use your action to dash.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'll dash.

SAM: (yelling) Hand!

TRAVIS: We all run by and bitch slap Nott as we go by and try and snap her out of it.

LAURA: Nott's already down.

TRAVIS: Can we still bitch slap her?


LIAM: We'll do it to Sam on the break.

SAM: Nott!

MARISHA: We all run.

MATT: As you all begin to dart through the door into the below chamber, the doors open. (crashing) Lightless below, a staircase that descends. Goggles forward, what is your marching order?

LAURA: Well, whoever would get there first, I feel like--

MATT: It would take a little bit for Jester to get caught up to you guys. So you guys are waiting up for Jester?

TALIESIN: Once we're in there, we're going to get everybody in and I'm going to try and barricade the door.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'll take second position.

MARISHA: Well, I'll take the charge. I think I'm closest.

MATT: Okay, so Beauregard's taking the charge. Yasha is the second fastest.

TALIESIN: I'll go behind Yasha.

LIAM: I do, my partner is down below. Oh, you're talking about him?

MATT: Caleb?

LIAM: Yeah, number two.

MATT: All right. As you guys dart and close the door behind Jester, who's the last one through, you begin to barricade it. And there is like a barricade point that comes down. It's a little flimsy. But if you have anything else you want to add to it that would possibly hold it in place.

TRAVIS: Is there a keyhole in there at all?

TALIESIN: We don't have the dagger.

LAURA: Nott has the thing.

MARISHA: Oh, I'm looking at you like you're with us. You're not.

ASHLEY: Are we doing a new initiative roll to go down there?

MATT: Depending what happens following initiative. Once you guys got through this door and closed it, combat for you has ended. Do you wish to barricade anything else?

MARISHA: Combat for all of us has ended?

MATT: You guys have gotten in the room and closed it, and then put the thing down. You're not immediately in combat. You hear wind (whooshing) on the other side, and people yelling, and creatures screaming.

MARISHA: How many rounds was that?

MATT: I don't remember. It was like, three or four, maybe?

TALIESIN: Nott's faster than us, anyway.

TRAVIS: We can't use the lash, it doesn't work like that.

MARISHA: My Lightning Gloves are technically still up.

LIAM: I am going to take a moment to use minor alchemy and turn the wooden barricade slat to stone.

MARISHA: Ooh, that's funsies!

MATT: You reach up. (whooshing) It turns into solid stone, blocking the doors. It'll hold for-- how long does that last for?

LIAM: Ooh, I have to spend time doing it.

LAURA: Okay. Well, how about once we get down the steps a little bit, I'm going to use the wand. And I'm going to cast Grease on the floor right underneath the door, so that anything coming through will slip and fall, at least.

TALIESIN: How long do you have to spend--

MATT: It lasts for one minute.

LIAM: Five to 10 minutes--

LAURA: I'll do it right as we get in the--

TALIESIN: Well, if you're going to do that, I can run a mass healing for 10 minutes, if we let them have 10 minutes.

TRAVIS: Do both of them. We're going to need one for sure.

MARISHA: We can't fight Obann--

MATT: So you're going to focus and turn it to stone. You're going to cast Mass Healing?

TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Mass Healing. I'm going to cast Prayer of Healing, I mean, excuse me, since we're doing it. Let's do that at 4th-level. Fuck it.

MARISHA: Yes, please.

TALIESIN: Since everyone's down.

LIAM: Is the door made of stone or metal? The door that we just shut.

MATT: The door you just shut is made of what you guess to be metal.

LIAM: Metal, okay. Okay.

SAM: (As Pumat) Let me in!

LAURA: Oh, Pumat!

TALIESIN: 19 points to everybody.

LAURA: We locked him out.

SAM: (As Pumat) I can't open this stone barrier.

MATT: You hear-- the demons keep coming.

TALIESIN: 19 points to everybody.

LAURA: Pumat!

SAM: That's somebody else's problem.

ASHLEY: Beau is in front of me, and I will very sheepishly--

SAM: (As Pumat) They're overcoming me.

ASHLEY: -- put my hand over where I stabbed her, and I will cast Healing Hands.

SAM: Aw.

ASHLEY: And she'll restore an extra 10 hit points.

MARISHA: I'll take it.

LAURA: He couldn't have like, backed up and still controlled the wind and come in with us, at least?

TRAVIS: He's enormous.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Giant.

MATT: If you want to reopen the doors and check and see?

TRAVIS: No, we'll keep going.

SAM: (As Pumat) I'm dying.

LIAM: Not stone, I'll do iron. I'll make that slat iron.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Can we have reopened it before we turned them to stone?

MATT: If you want to open the door--

LAURA: But it's Pumat!

LIAM: He told us to go.

MARISHA: He told us to go.

ASHLEY: Well, how many were in there with him?

MARISHA: He'll be all right.

TRAVIS: There's like four of him, it's cool.

SAM: (laughs) He's got backups.

MATT: So how much did everyone heal?

TALIESIN: 19 points to everybody.

MATT: So everyone heals 19 points if you haven't marked it already.

TRAVIS: Is there any other healing spells we'll get, or should we be drinking these puppies? Or are we also going to take a short rest?

LAURA: We're not taking a short rest.

TALIESIN: I was going to say, if we're taking a short rest, then I did not pull that fucking spell, because that's-- yeah.

LAURA: We're not taking a short rest.

SAM: I'm going to drink my potion.

TRAVIS: I'm going to drink mine.

MARISHA: I'm going to drink my potion as well.

MATT: Do it, drink your potions.

MARISHA: I've held onto his potion for a while.

LIAM: Same.

TRAVIS: What is it, plus four to these things?

MARISHA: Plus four right, to the regulars?

TRAVIS: Seven plus four--

MARISHA: Three, six--

SAM: So it's four plus four?

MATT: No, no, no the regulars are plus two. It's whatever roll plus two. That's plus four. And the big one is plus eight.

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: I look at Yasha, and I'm like, sorry, and pull more-- no, I'm just teasing.


TALIESIN: Actually, I don't know where my physical one is. I think it's under you. I can hand you a potion--

MARISHA: We just drank a lot of gold.

LAURA: All right, is anybody still low, like super low?

MARISHA: I'm 20 points down.

TRAVIS: I'm 51 points down.

LAURA: (whispering) 51 points down!

TALIESIN: Even after that? Oh wow!

TRAVIS: I got my shit handed to me.

LAURA: Okay, okay, I'm going to go up to Fjord, and I'm going to cast a-- oh my god-- 1st-level Cure Wounds. Sorry, that I don't have more.

SAM: I guess I had another one.

TRAVIS: Or should we save it for like a medevac thing?

TALIESIN: Potions are potions. Once you go down, you can't use it.

TRAVIS: I mean, like a spell?

TALIESIN: Yeah, spells-- yeah.

MATT: As you guys are waiting here, you hear the wind died down after a little while outside. And then you hear (arrows flying). There's battle just going the whole time you guys are resting here. You finish, you've healed. You've taken that moment to seal the door with iron. Are you guys moving on?

TALIESIN: It's only been 10 minutes.

MATT: Okay.



LAURA: There's no way-- I mean-- okay.


LAURA: It's just Pumat. He's going to die out there!

MATT: Beau, what were you saying?

MARISHA: It's good to have you back, like back-back.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm very sorry. I did not know what I was doing.

MARISHA: Yeah, we know.

ASHLEY: Please forgive me. I-- I don't know how I can make any of you trust me again, because I don't even trust myself.

LAURA: I go hug Yasha around the waist.

ASHLEY: (whispering) Thank you, Jester.

TRAVIS: You can start by helping us kill this fucking thing.

MARISHA: Yeah well, we'll talk later. Now is not a good place.

ASHLEY: Yes, I think we have a job to finish. I start walking.

MATT: As you all follow suit one by one, heading down the 10-foot wide descending space into the depths beneath the Chantry of the Dawn, we're going to take a break.


MARISHA: Three hours! It's the first time I've been nervous in a while. First day with a little limpy.

MATT: So we'll see what the next stage is here.

TALIESIN: For you, it was like 14 points.

ASHLEY: That's great.

MATT: We'll be back here in a few minutes. In the meantime, we do have our giveaway tonight.

MARISHA: I think that was a longer first half than last week's.

MATT: Yeah, that was a confrontation.

TRAVIS: 10 hours. Three hours?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: 10 hours.

MATT: We have the Purpleheart dice tray, the Scanlan special, if you will, going to one lucky winner in the chat room. The codename tonight is Storm. Put it in once, not more than once, or you'll be disqualified. US and Canada only, excluding Quebec, because stupid laws. We'll have a winner for you shortly.


[MUSIC PLAYING] - (SINGING) We got the perfect warlock, her weapons and supplies. But you need a place to strut your stuff, so you're so disorganized. You click open the web page. You heard about a Critical Role. And now you're ready to kick some butt in a mine shaft full of nos. It's D&D.; D&D.; D&D; Beyond! Yeah, D&D;! D&D;! D&D; Beyond! You got your stuff, you got your swords, and you got your invisible bow. Its D&D.; D&D;! D&D.; D&D; Beyond! GLENN: Hey, what's up critters? It's Glenn with OSD. I just wanted to send y'all a thank you message, and my gratitude for all the hard work so far this month. The critters thus far have raised enough money to be able to impact over 400 veterans. We're here in our warehouse. We're putting together additional supply drops for our troops overseas, including a million cups of coffee, video games, lots of board games, as you can see, as well as putting together different supplies for our chapters that they're doing out in the local community, whether it's underprivileged kids, it's the homeless. All these different things, we're being able to make happen for veterans by veterans and with veterans, because we know that service to one's community is so gosh-darn important. So thank you again. If you want to continue to support, visit That's We've still got half the month to go. So if we've hit 400 now, let's push it. Let's try to do 800, and let's really make a difference as we head through Thanksgiving into Christmas and into 2020. Thank you again. SPEAKER 1: Last time on "Talks Machina." BRIAN: Do you know what I just thought of? MARISHA: What? BRIAN: Three years ago tonight, this show first premiered. How cool is that? MARISHA: It's our birthday! BRIAN: It's kind of our birthday. It's our three year-- LIAM: It's fucking unreal. BRIAN: --birthday. It's pretty crazy. DANI: You totally messaged us about it this morning, and then I totally forgot. LIAM: No, but it's so lovely. BRIAN: It's great. LIAM: I'll be the first to say, I didn't think this show made sense at all. BRIAN: Do you think it does now? MARISHA: Really? BRIAN: What has changed? LIAM: Well, I thought, just let it play out at the table. Who's going to want to listen to us talk about our bullshit-- BRIAN: Oh, I understand. LIAM: --D&D; character shit that's in our heads? I was wrong. [INAUDIBLE] BRIAN: Do Cuddlefish for us. Remember Cuddlefish? LIAM: (SQUEAKY VOICE) Cuddlefish. Hi, I'm a Cuddlefish. Happy Christmas, everybody! [GIGGLING] Auld lang syne! BRIAN: It's one of my favorites. It's one of my favorites. It's hard to beat. OK. MARISHA: Answer all your questions like that. LIAM: (SQUEAKY VOICE) [GERMAN] Hey, I'm German. [LAUGHTER] BRIAN: Ooh! "Watching Jester's late night conversation with the. Gentleman. Was really moving, not just for the wonderful RP, but also, there are those of us in the community who can connect to having an absent parent. What was your experience sitting at the table during that scene?" MARISHA: It was being front row in like experimental black box. LIAM: With a world-class actor. MARISHA: God, so good. So fucking good! LIAM: Yeah, we've talked about this before. Laura Bailey-- MARISHA: Laura is good. LIAM: Just nominated for an award in the gaming industry today. I've said-- MARISHA: Was she really? LIAM: --20 times, my favorite actor-- that's the end of the sentence. BRIAN: Yeah. LIAM: Yeah, Laura is a fucking beautiful performer. MARISHA: Fucking great to watch, man, up close. And you got like the subtleties of her crying pretty much the second The Gentleman rejected her when we were all sitting there, when we were all talking to him initially. Because as soon as she starts with that, then you have to go through the process of like, Beau would see that Jester's crying. Beau knows she's kind of in a conference room in the middle of an important conversation. You kind of have to be focused at these things. I don't know, it's just so good. She's great at adding layers. It's fucking awesome. LIAM: She's just a phenomenal actor. BRIAN: Great moment in this campaign. LIAM: Yeah, yeah. BRIAN: Well, definitely a highlight, for sure. LIAM: Don't let her see this episode of Talks Machina, because if she hears us compliment her like that, she will be intolerable for two weeks. BRIAN: She has never seen an episode of this show that she wasn't on. DANI: Yeah, technically, she hasn't seen those, because she's in them. BRIAN: She doesn't even see those, because she's in them, yeah. Our winner for this week was sent in by Christina Silvoso, @xtinaiscrafty. Let's take a look. LIAM: (SINGING) She's crafty. MARISHA: Aw! DANI: Yes! BRIAN: How about that? LIAM: Oh wow! DANI: So good. MARISHA: What? DANI: All these looks! BRIAN: Every single one. LIAM: Yeah. BRIAN: That's crazy. MARISHA: Wait, this is all the same girl? DANI: Yeah. BRIAN: Yeah! MARISHA: Oh my god! LIAM: I think the Fjord is my favorite in the lineup. But holy shit. MARISHA: The Caduceus! BRIAN: Yeah, but look at the Nott and the Caleb. MARISHA: They're all pretty great. BRIAN: That is really good. The Jester is really good. MARISHA: I can't-- fuck! BRIAN: Meany Vizzini-- it's a cool name. LIAM: On a theme. BRIAN: (SINGING) Meany Vizzini! It sounds like a guy who was sure his scenes weren't cut out of "The Sopranos," and his friends were like-- [LAUGHTER] --wait, what character did you play? He's like, my guy's name was Meany Vizzini. And they're like, no, man, they cut your shit. He's like, no, there's this real good scene, man. Tony looked at me and he said, more waffles! We're just get out of the way of the story. "How long has Beau Jester gesture in a more than just friends type of way, and why drop that bomb now?" MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm! BRIAN: Good answer so far. Maybe words? MARISHA: I have been obviously, tagged in this question a few times. And thinking about it-- LIAM: Two or three times. MARISHA: --all week-- well, all weekend and up until now-- of how I'm going to answer it. And it's hard, because there's no real defining moment. You've been through this before. LIAM: I have. I don't remember how it started in campaign one. MARISHA: Yeah! LIAM: It just happened. MARISHA: It just happened, like relationships. LIAM: Funny, that. MARISHA: Just it's they'll do something, and it kind of cocks your head, and you're like, oh fuck, that was cute! And you kind of go like, hm. And then you forget about that, and then something else happens, and then they build, and then they build. BRIAN: So you're saying it's been more of a series than it is just one moment that you can point to and say, it was right here where I went like, let's fuck. MARISHA: It's not even like let's fuck! BRIAN: I'm joking, I'm joking. But you know what I'm saying. MARISHA: Yes. LIAM: That's next week. MARISHA: (LAUGHING) Yeah. BRIAN: Next week, I understand. OK, I'll be sure to watch that one too. MARISHA: No, it's nothing-- DANI: Ooh, level up coming early. MARISHA: --sexual in this case. BRIAN: Yeah, right. Dani pointing out you guys only level up after someone has sex. LIAM: Yeah, I want to level up now. Make it happen. [LAUGHTER] BRIAN: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. LIAM: Campaign's coming to a close. LIAM: I will sleep with someone every episode if it means we can be at level 20 in 10 weeks. BRIAN: Straight up. MARISHA: Uh huh. TRAVIS: (IN A DRAWL) Last time on "Yee-Haw Game Ranch." BRIAN: What the fuck? Where have you been, man? TRAVIS: (YELLING) Hey, yes! It worked! No more Spooky Ranch, fuck! No more pissing my pants! Bless you, Minnesota Jones, you furry little saint! BRIAN: Yeah, that fucker realm ported me here without you. This place is a little fucking weird, man. It seems a little early for the holidays, if you ask me, you know? MERRY: What discarded lump of coal said that? It's never too early for the holidays! TRAVIS: Is that a dinosaur? BRIAN: What the fuck? I swear, dude, this shit is getting fucking old, man. MERRY: You can call me by my travel name, Merry Sugarplum! BRIAN: What the fuck? This critter has two names, man. I can't fucking do this anymore. This is getting excessive. MERRY: Well, why don't you kick the bucket, you cheer-siphoning convict? [LAUGHTER] BRIAN: That was-- TRAVIS: (LAUGHING) I'm sorry, Rachel-- I mean, Merry Sugarplum. Where are you on vacation from? MERRY: Well, Yee-Haw Prehistoric Ranch, of course. TRAVIS: Oh! MERRY: My family comes here every year to celebrate the great calling of The Ov. BRIAN: What the fuck? You're from the Prehistoric Ranch? What's that place like? TRAVIS: [INAUDIBLE] MERRY: Have y'all ever been to Jungle Ranch? TRAVIS: Yeah. BRIAN: Yeah. MERRY: Basically, that shit, but with dinosaurs, like me. TRAVIS: (LAUGHING) I'm sorry, it's just so happy! BRIAN: Wow, the Ov really built a compelling and unique world, it sounds like. MERRY: Well, you were built like a 13-year-old skateboarder who sells cigarettes under bleachers. [LAUGHTER] BRIAN: It's not untrue. TRAVIS: You got arrested for that, didn't that? BRIAN: Twice. TRAVIS: (LAUGHING) Hey, Sugarplum, I don't-- you know we usually get a little download when we first arrive to these new realms. Anything we need to know about this snow-covered festive place? MERRY: Mm-hmm. Be merry. Bring joy to others. And most importantly, refuse the Game Soul. BRIAN: That's cool. Wait. Refuse the Game Soul? That's like, against everything-- [HUMMING "JINGLE BELLS"] TRAVIS: [INAUDIBLE] (YELLING) Quad kill! Come and get some. BRIAN: Oh, congrats! TRAVIS: Thanks, buddy. BRIAN: Yeah, let's see what this is about. TRAVIS: What are you in? BRIAN: [INAUDIBLE] man, it was in the-- TRAVIS: (YELLING) Are you in the attack helicopter? BRIAN: Yeah. I'm just going to go ahead and-- whoa, whoa, whoa, the controls are kind of inverted. Nope, I'm just bad. TRAVIS: Are we winning? BRIAN: We're winning this fight. TRAVIS: I think we're losing. BRIAN: Nah, we're winning, man. [GUNSHOT] TRAVIS: Ooh! [GIGGLING] Yeah, OK. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! BRIAN: You got him! TRAVIS: (LAUGHING) That was just a Hail Mary. Oh, that's fucking great. What's Up BRIAN: If only Dak Prescott could nail those as well as you do. TRAVIS: (YELLING) Victory! BRIAN: What? TRAVIS: (YELLING) Boom! BRIAN: No way. TRAVIS: (YELLING) Santa owned your ass! BRIAN: Oh, I should take it out of the plastic before I-- TRAVIS: Is it fucking snowing right now? [GUNSHOTS] BRIAN: A lot of people think maybe I'm not as good as I say that I am, based on how they saw me play against those bots. But I guarantee you, I'm far better. TRAVIS: Huh. BRIAN: Do you want to have dual with these? You want to come out to the middle, and we'll turn our backs to each other and shoot [INAUDIBLE] TRAVIS: Like, double do? BRIAN: Yeah, let's do it. TRAVIS: OK, wait, hang on. BRIAN: Where are you? Where are you? TRAVIS: I'm going to come up near the house. BRIAN: I'm not going to shoot you. TRAVIS: I'm not going to shoot you. BRIAN: OK right here, right here! SAM: I'm here, I'm here. BRIAN: OK, yeah, stay on the other side of the pond. It's the other side of the pond. SAM: Oh, you got to look away? BRIAN: OK, so wait. Wait. Yeah, stay where you're going to be. TRAVIS: Yeah, here. BRIAN: Stay where you're going to be. TRAVIS: Don't turn away. BRIAN: No stay-- TRAVIS: I'm turning away. BRIAN: OK, OK. TRAVIS: I'm turning away, you fucking [INAUDIBLE] [GUNSHOTS] [LAUGHTER] TRAVIS: (LAUGHING) I saw you. BRIAN: I will probably be the last man standing. [GUFFAWING] TRAVIS: Not only did that work, but I killed myself at the same time because I had to come around the corner and look like a dumbass. BRIAN: Goddamn, this game's fun. OK, this is match point. TRAVIS: Uh-huh. BRIAN: I'm not joking. TRAVIS: OK. BRIAN: Come out here to the center. TRAVIS: Yep. BRIAN: See if you can jump over this thing. TRAVIS: Like this? BRIAN: (LAUGHING) Yeah, OK. So on the count of three, let's jump and see if we could shoot each other in the head. TRAVIS: OK, one-- BRIAN: OK, wait, wait, wait-- TRAVIS: We've got to-- BRIAN: Wait, wait, wait. TRAVIS: Jump on three? Yes. BRIAN: Jump and shoot on three. TRAVIS: OK. BRIAN: One. TRAVIS: Two. BRIAN: Two, three. [GUNSHOTS] BRIAN & TRAVIS: Do it again. (LAUGHING) One, two, three. BRIAN: Wait. OK, hold on, hold on, hold on. OK. One. TRAVIS: Two. BRIAN: Two, three. TRAVIS: Do it. [GUNSHOTS] BRIAN: (YELLING) We've got an automatic weapon! One, two, three. [GUNSHOTS] (LAUGHING) Oh, fuck you, fuck you. [LAUGHTER] [GUNSHOTS] [JAZZY MUSIC] WILL: Hey, everyone, the insanely talented Will Friedle here. I'm excited to announce that I have a new late night talk show coming to the "Critical Role" YouTube channel on Wednesday. It's called "Mini Primetime." It's brought to you by the same creators as that one show with the hippie kid with the bracelets, whatever that is. Anyway, my show, "Mini Primetime," is a mini painting show for beginners and veterans alike, where this handsome face teaches the "Critical Role" cast how to paint their own Mighty Nein minis. We're going to be focusing on specific techniques, fades, small detail work, and taking your mini to next level by adding your bits. So look for it soon on "Critical Role's" YouTube. "Critical Role," What is that? What is even a critical role? Oh, that's right. That was the show with cash. [JAZZY MUSIC] IVAN: Subscribe or don't subscribe, that's not a question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to ponder the pros and more pros of Twitch or Twitch Prime, or to take hands and gift new subs to critters who find they can't afford them. To play, to sleep no more. And via sleep to say the cast and crew of "Critical Role" might find their naps around their hectic schedule of a live broadcast that we have brought for your consumption, both critter and fan alike. To play or sleep. No, no sleep, but just to stream. Aye, there's the rub. For with your subscription, what streams may come? Oh man, oh man, oh man, that is a fucking tagline. Do we got that? (WHISPERING) Oh, that is Twitch poetry. Oh, anyway, subscribe to "Critical Role." Use Twitch Prime to subscribe. Gift some subscriptions. You-- you got it. [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Part II[]

MATT: Welcome back. (laughter) So the winner of our giveaway at the break, who gets the lucky Scanlan purpleheart wood dice tray is Mr_Rekoj, Mr. Underscore R-E-K-O-J. Congratulations, we'll get that sent to you ASAP.

SAM: Grats.

MATT: So battered, but filled with resolve, Yasha returned to your side, the spell broken that Obann has held over her since-- well, since that time was lost. You make your way down to the darkened stairs about 40, 50 feet before you come to an underground floor of what you would assume to be chantry housing. There are four chambers in all that appear to be open bedroom chambers, maybe storage. You see a continued stairway down into a crypt. What would you like to do?

TRAVIS: First of all, I'd like to turn to Yasha and say: You've been down here. Mind giving us a sneak peek of what we're looking forward to?


MATT: The crypt.

ASHLEY: I don't exactly know everything, but I know that we came down here to break the shackles off of the fane, and we needed four of us. All I know is that that is down here, and that was the plan.

LAURA: Did you succeed?

ASHLEY: I don't think we've done it yet.

MATT: You were in transit before you were notified from a (boom) upstairs and called to aid.

TRAVIS: Now they have Nott.

LAURA: But they have only three.

LIAM: You haven't done it yet?

ASHLEY: We haven't done it yet.

LIAM: And the Laughing Hand is gone.

ASHLEY: Yes, and I don't think it can be successful, because Obann looks for very specific people to do it. So as long as nobody else shows up, I don't believe it can succeed.

TRAVIS: Why you?

ASHLEY: Well, from what Obann has told me, he has chosen people that he believes cannot be killed. So we continue to go to every one of these shackles and try to break all of them. Because when all four of us break them, we die and then we come back, and then we go to the next one.

TRAVIS: You say other shackles?

LAURA: It kills the people that it does? It kills the people?


MARISHA: But you come back.

TRAVIS: How many shackles have you been to?

ASHLEY: This was the first one.

LIAM: You said he chooses people who cannot be killed?

ASHLEY: Yeah, but I--

LIAM: You cannot be killed?

ASHLEY: I feel like that is not entirely true. I think it's just because of what I am, I guess? I just-- I don't know.

LIAM: What are you?

ASHLEY: I don't know, I'm-- I'm just-- I'm me. I think just when I fall, sometimes, I can be brought back a lot easier. I can die, but I-- I-- I don't know. But I think--

LIAM: You have spent an awful lot of time with him. What do you think his next move is?

ASHLEY: I feel like he will probably try to bring me back to him, and maybe any of you that he think might be useful.

LAURA: Is there anything we can do to make Yasha stronger on her resistances or something if he tries to do it? We could Bless her, right?

LIAM: Caleb walks up and cautiously reaches above his own head, and places a pearl against her forehead, and small little fractals and geometric shapes appear briefly in the air. And I cast Fortune's Favor on you. So you can reroll a save, or--

ASHLEY: Thank you, Caleb.

MATT: For the next hour, you can do that once.

LIAM: Attack roll, ability check, or saving throw.

TRAVIS: Well, we best not dawdle.

LAURA: No, Nott's down there. If he realizes he can't do it, maybe he'll just leave and take Nott with him.

MARISHA: Like you said, he's looking for certain people. Can Nott even--

LAURA: Then he can kill Nott. And if I don't get there soon enough, then it will be a lot harder to bring her back.

TALIESIN: That'll take time.

TRAVIS: You know If there are any traps down here, Yasha?

MATT: You didn't encounter any.

ASHLEY: I mean, none that we would have set off.

TRAVIS: Then we should move. Now.

TALIESIN: There's the four chambers right here?

MATT: Yeah, it looks like two and a half bedchambers and a storage room, and one that's a bunch of supplies.

TALIESIN: Do I hear anything? Is there anything out of the ordinary?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: And just for clarity, her resistance lowered my--

MATT: Yes, we went over that in the break.

TALIESIN: Well, $500.

LAURA: We've rolled a lot of ones tonight.

MATT: You've had a lot of ones.

TALIESIN: That's a 10 perception.

MATT: Point of order-- remembering your resistance to necrotic damage, you would gain half of the damage that you took from Fjord, so you would have actually resisted necrotic, and you lost 10.


ASHLEY: I'm getting 20?

TRAVIS: You get 20 back and I lose 10.

MATT: We'll say-- that's fine.

LAURA: Why did you lose 10?

MATT: She has to resistance to necrotic, so the thing that Fjord was doing to her earlier would have been reduced.

ASHLEY: I forgot.

MATT: It's all good. Welcome back.

ASHLEY: What's interesting, though, is where it says defenses, and it says “resistant to necrotic and radiant,” which I didn't see. (laughter)

MATT: Welcome back.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

LIAM: So we are seeing these little antechambers?

TRAVIS: Am I still poisoned?

MATT: You are.

TRAVIS: I will do a Lay on Hands, and I will cure myself of the poison.

MATT: Okay, you are no longer poisoned. As you reach down, there's like a dull green glow. And where the wound was where the poison was seeping in, you watch as these tiny green vines grow over the wound. And you feel the poison slowly dissipate from your bloodstream.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MARISHA: You want to help me clear these rooms, just to make sure?

TRAVIS: Absolutely.

MARISHA: Yeah, SWAT style, we'll--

TRAVIS: Tap, tap, corners.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: You go into the first bed chamber, and there's about six beds, people sleeping in them.

LAURA: People are sleeping in them?

MARISHA: (shushing) I turn around. (whispering) Fucking shh! Fucking more cultists are sleeping.

MATT: Just Ringwraith them?

TRAVIS: That's what I was thinking! Just pillows, right?

MATT: Yep.

(laughter) (creaking)

ASHLEY: Are they breathing?

MARISHA: Is there like a knot, like a lock?

MATT: It's just an open doorway; there's no door.

TRAVIS: Oh! Forget all the miming, then!

MARISHA: Fuck that!

MATT: Nope, sorry!

TRAVIS: (whispering) Hey look, you want to roll a fucking Fireball in here or what?

ASHLEY: Are they breathing?

TRAVIS: We don't even know what they are.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: I just want to make sure they're not like, kids.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


MATT: 15? While they're having this conversation, you look in, and there's no moving in the body. There's no rise and fall of breath.

TALIESIN: I'm going to detect undead.

MATT: Okay. No undead around you.

LAURA and LIAM: It's just dead.

MARISHA: Some cult shit, yes. A little Kool-Aid.


TRAVIS: They're all wearing Nikes.


LAURA: Let's just keep going.

TRAVIS: Do we need to search the bodies or anything?

TALIESIN: I'm going to-- just as we're walking by-- run Detect Magic on the four rooms, and just see if anything's--

LAURA: Should we grab their clothes?

MATT: Nothing catches your attention magically that you aren't expecting on your persons.

LAURA: (whispering) Are they wearing robes of cultists?

MATT: They are not. They're wearing robes of the Chantry.


MATT: And upon closer inspection, you can see a bit of foam at the corners of some of the mouths. It appears that they were all unknowingly eating their last meal, probably this morning.

LAURA: That's really terrible. I'm glad we killed that old lady with the bad hair.


TALIESIN: Just for fun, I'm going to try Divine Intervention.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm going to put a prayer out to see if-- how specific do I have to be?

MATT: Just let me know what the intent of, what challenge you want help with.

TALIESIN: I wish to be better prepared for the battle ahead for all of us.




MATT: Unfortunately, there's something about the essence, as you draw closer to whatever is below the Chantry, that blocks a clear mode of communication with the Wildmother.

TALIESIN: It's a hail Wildmother, you know?

TRAVIS: My See Invisibility is still up.

MATT: Lasts for an hour.

TRAVIS: Anything in here going off? In the hallway, not in the rooms.


TRAVIS: Okay. Shall we?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yasha, do you mind leading the way?

ASHLEY: Not at all.

MATT: Okay. You head down the stairway towards the underground crypt. Immediately, a dark, musty smell comes to you. You can see the crypt stretches before about 80 feet, maybe 30, 40 feet wide. The smell of damp earth and incense lingering. Old, not anything recent, necessarily. Though the smell of burning embers is still a little prominent. You can see that the walls themselves are lined with shelves of bones and carefully interred holy corpses. This crypt carries many bodies, many old, some not. Moss and fungus appear to have gathered at the corners of all the smoothed rock, while about a half dozen braziers carry low embers. You see four of them specifically in the room that are prominently placed in the center in a square formation around a single statue of the Dawnfather that sits in the center. His head himself a brazier. You see the armored body, and where the head would be, it's the lower half of a brazier. In all five of these braziers, can see ember coals. They've been burning for a while, giving off this dull, orangish glow. And that is the only light source within the chamber. There is no discernible exit beyond the steps you took.

TRAVIS: Anything invisible in the room?

LIAM: I look around.

TRAVIS: Anything invisible in the room?

MATT: You do not see anything invisible.

LIAM: I'm going to start checking the walls carefully, not by touch, but peering, looking for seams or cracks or any--

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a perception check.

TALIESIN: I'm going to give you-- I'm going to give you Guidance.

LIAM: And that's a d4, yeah?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Perception, not investigation?

MATT: You're just using your eyes, and not feeling along with your hands and looking for things? I'd say it's perception.

LIAM: Yeah, I'll do that, so 13-- 17.

MATT: 17? Okay, you take a little while, and begin to go along the walls. You don't see any seams, don't notice anything hidden. You don't know if it's a fault of your eyes or the room just does not contain what you're looking for.

ASHLEY: Have I been this far down yet?

MATT: You've been in the crypt, and this is as far as you got. You just had arrived in the crypt, and that was when the (thud) happened, and you were all summoned back up to the cathedral, where the encounter occurred.

LIAM: Well, Caduceus or I could make it a lot brighter in here if we wanted.

TALIESIN: I can do that.

MARISHA: I think we're fine, do it.

MATT: Light spell lights up the chamber.

SAM: I'm waiting right there, ah!


MATT: The chamber is brighter, but it doesn't reveal anything.

MARISHA: Do I see any signs? I start looking behind the crypts and in crevices, looking for the pieces of the portal device, or if there's anything that looks reminiscent of that hidden. Any hidden shit.

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Or any stashed shit in general. Perception?

LAURA: Or investigation?

MATT: Well, if you're--

MARISHA: Investigation.

MATT: If you're looking specifically for a device, or inspecting for a--

MARISHA: Yeah, hands and knees, and the nook and crannies.

MATT: Okay, you're going deep in? Make it an investigation, then. It'll take you a little bit.


MATT: 18?

MARISHA: Still not great, but yeah.

MATT: Okay. You do not find anything that resembles the device. You don't see any sign of metal, or the shape of it. Though you did see it in the scrying that was handed over to Respa. You do not know where it's been installed. You do know that the creatures that seemed to be fighting were in the towers, or somewhere in that region.

LAURA: Oh, it's probably up there still.

TRAVIS: Two of them.

LAURA: Yeah, I bet they're coming out. That's why they kept spawning.

MARISHA: Kept coming.

ASHLEY: Could you tell me the layout of the room again?

MATT: I'll show it to you.

SAM: Oh, we're showing something? Dwarven Forge will be at PAX Unplugged for the first weekend in September. Go say hi at the Die Hard Dice booth. And follow on social, @dwarvenforge on Twitter.


LAURA: Oh shit!

MATT: So that is the general layout of the crypt.

MARISHA: Look at the skulls on the outside of the walls. That's sick.

ASHLEY: That's fucking cool.

SAM: Look at the skulls!

TRAVIS: Can we just have a moment for how built that map is?

LAURA: And the Dawnfather is--

MATT: The statue in the center that raises. It's this large statue.

LAURA: And you the brazier is the head?

MATT: His head is a brazier, yeah.

TRAVIS: Like Mysterio instead of a bowl.

MATT: These are the four braziers on the edge. Each of these is a stone tomb that sits in the middle of the chamber.

TALIESIN: What's in the braziers?

MATT: There's burning coals.

TALIESIN: Okay, so there is fire in the braziers.

LAURA: Is there light actually coming?

MATT: They're burning. There's embers in there that are glowing orange.

LAURA: Can I climb up and look in the head and see what's in that one?

MATT: Sure. You climb up. It's not too hard to do. You find a place to look up there. It's similar to the other braziers. Looks like some low coals that are burning, some burned thatch and things.

LIAM: I'm going to start checking out all of these tombs to see if--

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll help you.

LIAM: I'm going to look for traps. But I think maybe there are stairs or a passage in one of them.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use Thaumaturgy to get the fires going a little hotter again. Going to make the lights--

LAURA: Ow, shit!

MATT: Yeah, you pull back a little bit.


MATT: The fires burn a little brighter, the room lightens a little bit all around from all the small, low-burning fires now getting more intense.

TRAVIS: The corners of the room-- are those candles that are set up in sort of like--

MATT: Oh, the corners of the room? Those are small areas where it looks like offerings would be left behind. You can see bowls and plates that contain coins, old knick knacks, pieces of jewelry that were either left as a prayer or part of a burying rite.

LAURA: Can I inspect this statue and see if it twists, or if there's any things on it that move or anything?

MATT: Sure, make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: I'll also say technically, I think my Detect Magic would still have been--

LAURA: Guidance!

TALIESIN: -- within 10 minutes of us leaving those four chambers. Is it within 10 minutes?

LAURA: 17 plus three is 20.

MATT: For this, I would say it does not. It doesn't pick up anything.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: 21, okay. Looking at the statue-- the brazier head or anything around it. Nothing about this statue seems to move or shift or anything. The Dawnfather structure is a solid piece of stone.

LIAM: And said I had wanted to investigate tombs, see if there are any triggers?

MATT: Right.

LIAM: Steps or ladders inside them?

MATT: And you rolled?

TRAVIS: I will assist you.

LIAM: I was waiting for you to tell me what to do.

MATT: Okay, sorry. So that would be an investigation for both of you.

LAURA: I'm going to paint on the brazier, just like a half of a face, and then like a little speech bubble coming out that says, "Oh god, my head! Oh, my head!"


MATT: It would be Jester to deface a very holy relic at the bottom of the Chantry at this moment. I love it.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22. You go through them one by one, and as you feel around, they're all pretty solid. You lift and look inside, and there are old, old bodies that are interred carefully, wrapped in ornamental robes, some of which that have just slowly deteriorated. They've probably been there a hundred years, maybe 200, as long as Rexxentrum has been. A few of them are little more fresh, but all six of them seem to carry corpses, and no signs of being able to descend within them.

LIAM: Anything interesting on the bodies?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, can I touch each one of them and make sure my hand doesn't pass through them?

MATT: Sure. One by one, you begin to press the bodies. And they rock back and forth, and dust falls from them and crumbles. And you eliminate all of them as possibly being illusions, and your fingers smell a little funny.

TRAVIS: They're all real.



ASHLEY: Can I go search the base of the--

MARISHA: You're soaked in blood anyway.

ASHLEY: -- the Dawnfather?

MATT: Sure. You make an investigation.

LAURA: As she gets there, I am starting to kneel down and pray to the Traveler in front of the shrine I just made for him.


MATT: 21? You get down to it, and you can see towards the back of it, there's a general layer of dust that's settled in this ground. Some of it's kicked up from feet, steps and movement, especially you guys moving around. There are two-- there's an element like a square on the back side of it were the dust's been pushed aside.

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to push it.

MATT: Okay, make a strength check.

TRAVIS: Let's go, Beast Mode.

LAURA: Can I give her advantage? Can I help her out, since I'm sitting right there?

MATT: Sure.


LAURA: Oh well, do you even need it? I can give you advantage. Try it again.

ASHLEY: This dice, man. 26.

MATT: 26. You both get behind it and push, and push. Nothing.


LAURA: There's a button or something. There's got to be.

TALIESIN: Do any of these skulls or bodies look like they're a different age than the rest of them?

MATT: Yeah, the age varies tremendously. Some of them hundreds of years old. Some of them are a couple of decades old. Some of them look maybe within the past couple years.

TALIESIN: One more detect undead just for fun.

MATT: Okay. None.

TRAVIS: Is there petroleum on the floor?

TALIESIN: Nothing?

MATT: This is a cathedral of the Dawnfather, who is one of the many entities that despises undeath. And much of this area is hallowed specifically to prevent anything from rising.

MARISHA: I'm going to start-- hearing Jester say there's got to be a button. You all are messing with the statue, right? For clarity.

LAURA: Yeah, it didn't work, so I'm going to kneel down and try to pray to the Traveler again.

MARISHA: I'm going to go around, and I'm going to go up to these skulls and bodies in the walls, and just start, like, jiggling them.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Just seeing. Pull a femur, see what happens.

MATT: Okay. So you begin doing that. It's going to take a little while.

LIAM: I'm going to begin ritual casting Detect Magic too, since everybody is trying everything.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Maybe it won't.

MATT: Okay, while they're doing that--

MARISHA: Do an investigation check to see if I can notice the one?

MATT: Yeah, I'll allow it.


LAURA: I'm going to try and do Divine Intervention with the Traveler while I'm here.

TRAVIS: Yes sir.

MARISHA: Yay! 25.

MATT: 25? Okay, cool. We'll get to that in a second. This will take a little while.

LAURA: I'm going to ask him to protect us when we get down to Obann, to keep us from being turned. Please keep anybody from being turned.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for divine intervention.

LAURA: Where's my percentile? Do I roll two percentiles?

TALIESIN: One percentile and one non.

MATT: A d10 and then a percentile one.

LAURA: 22.

MATT: 22? While his presence is felt, you gather that the protection he provides is already present.

LAURA: Understandable. He's already close by.

TRAVIS: (singing) Understandable.


MARISHA: (singing) Comprehensible!

ASHLEY: Jester, can you help me with something?

LAURA: Yeah, what do you need?

ASHLEY: This is really stupid, but I don't know. It might be something. I wonder if we can try turning--

LAURA: The whole statue?

ASHLEY: --the statue.

LAURA: I know, I was trying to do it, but maybe with two of us.

ASHLEY: You tried?

LAURA: Yeah. I'll grab from one side, and you grab the other.

TALIESIN: I'm going to add some-- well, Guidance actually isn't going to help with this, is it? No.

LAURA: Probably not.


LAURA: (grunting)

MATT: Make a strength check.

LAURA: Should each of us do it?

MATT: Each of you guys do it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's not an ability.

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

TALIESIN: Oh, never mind.

MATT: Which is a total of--

ASHLEY: Which is a total of 28.

MATT: 28?

ASHLEY: Oh, I'm sorry. Not a 28. I'm sorry, a 23.

LAURA: I rolled a nine.

MATT: All right. So you guys push and push and push and push and push.

LAURA: It's nothing. It's not moving.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

LAURA: It's not a thing.

TRAVIS: Caduceus, can you--

LAURA: With a natural 20. I know, it looks like it would.

TRAVIS: Can you extinguish the flame?

TALIESIN: Sure. Thaumaturgy.

MATT: (whooshing) All the braziers go out.


MATT: You have your goggles on still, though.

TALIESIN: The light's still up, because I haven't turned off my Light spell.

MATT: That's true, the light's still up.

LIAM: I am trying to work here! Where'd the light go?

TALIESIN: The light's still up.

MATT: He still has his Light spell, but all the braziers go out.

TALIESIN: The temperature of the light's changed.

MATT: Correct. You now at this point have gone around the room, pulled all sorts of things, looked for it. And you feel pretty confident that you've done a pretty valid sweep. There's nothing in the walls, nothing in the corpses, under the bones. You've disturbed a lot of the dead, and there's been no sign of--

TRAVIS: They're dead, they'll get over it.

MARISHA: Oh, what are we missing?

LIAM: You've come down here with them?

ASHLEY: Yeah, we came down here, but we didn't go further than this, because--

LIAM: What did you do when you were in here?

TALIESIN: Anything.

MATT: Obann began reading the scrolls that were handed to him by Respa. And while he was in the process of doing so was when you guys were called up. So you're not certain. As part of your investigation 25, I will say you do notice that the brazier on the back left that's at the foot on that side, there is a faint bit of ash and charcoal on the ground around it, like a little ring that is more prominent than the other braziers.

MARISHA: Hang on. Hang on.

TRAVIS: Are you going to pass out?

MARISHA: Caduceus?


MARISHA: What do you make of this?

TALIESIN: What do I make of that?

MATT: There's some of the ash.

TALIESIN: Does it seem intentional, or is this--

MATT: It looks like stuff that would fall out of a brazier on the ground.

LAURA: Maybe try moving the brazier.

MARISHA: I'm going to shift it or--

MATT: It doesn't shift. It's locked in place.

MARISHA: Do I feel any mechanisms? Groping a brazier.

MATT: Make investigation check, if you want.

TALIESIN: I'm going to give you a d4 for that. Since you seem to be doing a thing.

MARISHA: Two. Oh, why is it always such a journey? It's not great. 19.

MATT: 19? It doesn't move. The brazier is solid to the ground. It's not a bowl that's on pillars. It's a solid stone pillar that has an interior part that has some openings in the side, where it keeps everything in, where the flames can come out. And there's just a little bit of a ring of sprinkled ash and charcoal on the ground around it. But the others do not.

TRAVIS: Are the flames extinguished now?

MATT: The flames are extinguished.

MARISHA: Can you give it a big, big boost, light her up?

TALIESIN: I need somebody to actually light it up.


TALIESIN: Can I do that?

LIAM: Yeah?

LAURA: I wonder if something's got to be burned around it or something.

TRAVIS: Can I take a copper piece and throw it in the brazer?

MATT: Yeah. It lands in the brazer.

MARISHA: Maybe-- I don't know. Throw a Fire Bolt at this thing or something?

TALIESIN: I mean, we can just do-- I think I have matches. I'm just going to--

SAM: Hey!

MARISHA: What did you do?

TALIESIN: I used a match.

MATT: It slowly begins to take.

TALIESIN: And Thaumaturgy.

MATT: All right, and you ignite again. The brazier is now glowing.

TALIESIN: There you go.

LAURA: Anything?

MATT: There's nowhere to look underneath, really. It's solid.

TALIESIN: Is the thing itself stuck in the-- is it a lazy Susan?

LAURA: No, it's like a--

TALIESIN: That's a weird word.

MARISHA: The bowl--

ASHLEY: What is the-- so it just looks like ash that's around the bowl?

LAURA: Yeah, what is the ash made of?

TALIESIN: It's a circle in front of it, not around it.

MATT: No, around it.


MARISHA: Like it poofed.

MATT: Like it came out.

MARISHA: Like it's like water, like it overflowed.

ASHLEY: Only around that one?

MARISHA: It overflowed.

MATT: Only around that one.

LAURA: Is there more ash in the brazier than the other ones?

MATT: It looks like the ash that's on the ground was displaced, so there's maybe a little bit less for the amount that's now around it on the ground.

LAURA: Something came up from the bottom, maybe?

LIAM: Would you imagine 10 minutes have gone by?

LAURA: Can I reach my hand down into the brazer? Is it still embery-y?

MATT: About now. And you detect no magic.

LIAM: Okay.


LAURA: Is it still ember-y? Is it still hot in there?

MATT: It is now, because he lit it.

LAURA: Oh. Unlight it.

TALIESIN: I'll bring it all. I'm not going to quite kill it, but I'm going to really--

MATT: Really low, okay.

LAURA: Does anybody got a stick? Somebody give me something sticky?

TRAVIS: You can use my sword.

LAURA: Yeah. I stick it in and move it around, see if there's a hole at the--

SAM: Ah!


MATT: You do feel a bottom, and it's about two and a half feet down. It's not the whole base of the pillar. The brazier itself is up about two and a half, three feet or so. It's about a little above your waist, or about your waist height. And it goes down about a foot and a half and hits the bottom-- tink -- and you rustle it around inside. Make an investigation check.


SAM: Nice. Nice. Super nice.

LAURA: 15, 16.

MATT: 16? Okay.

LAURA: My investigation's low, but--

MATT: You move it around in there. You move some of the charcoal around with the sword, pull it out.

LAURA: It feels like a brazier. I don't know like a brazier normally feels like. Sorry I fucked up your--

TRAVIS: Start scooping the ash out.

LAURA: Well, it's going to hurt our hands, but--

ASHLEY: I'll start going over and start dumping.

MATT: Okay, it's it's still-- even when he took the flame out, it's still a little warm. I'll say in the process of doing so, you take two points of fire damage. But you empty out the brazier, all the ash.

MARISHA: You could use the end my bo staff to--

TALIESIN: I'm going to start emptying out the other ones, too. Here, I got a tiny shovel. I'll use my tiny shovel.

LIAM: We're just desecrating the shit out of this place.

MATT: As you guys are going to empty the other ones, you get down to the very, very bottom of this, and at the very bottom, there is a lever about that long-- about two inches long.


TALIESIN: In any of the other ones?

MATT: No, just that one.

MARISHA: (singing) That's fucking teamwork. Ka-chink.

TRAVIS: That did it?

MATT: It doesn't move.

MARISHA: What? What do you mean, it doesn't move?

MATT: It's solid.

LAURA: The lever's solid?

MATT: It's not moving.

MARISHA: Is like a lever, or like a lever?

MATT: It looks like a little metal switch that had some sort of a rotational bit, but it's locked in place.

LIAM: Maybe he has some sort of--


LIAM: -- staff or key of some device to turn it. Does it look like some sort of gear?

LAURA: Maybe it's like a rod that can't be moved, or something. I heard about those things.

TALIESIN: Wait a minute. What do we know about the Dawnfather?

LAURA: He likes the light a lot, and there's some sun involved.

MARISHA: Maybe we have to do this when it's on fire.

LAURA: And he's really tall, and he doesn't have a face. And his head is only half there.

MARISHA: Light it back up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to just double check all of them, including the one just to see--

MATT: Okay, it takes you a little bit, but you scoop through. This is the only one that has it.

TALIESIN: All right, put it all together. I'm going to light them all up and get them going.

MATT: Okay. So you put all the ash back in, light them back up. The brazier is now burning a bit.

MARISHA: Huh! (grunting)

MATT: Okay, you reach in. Your hand takes--

LIAM: How far down does it go?

MATT: You take four points of fire damage. I rolled really low. As you (sizzling) reach in a grab it--

MARISHA: Ouch, ouch, ouch.

MATT: And it moves without any resistance. (cheering) As soon as you move the switch (rumbling) the stone center moves along about five feet, revealing a staircase that descends further down the hall.

LAURA: Nice!

MARISHA: We did it.

TRAVIS: We only had to burn two people.

SAM: (As Pumat) Open the door!

LAURA: No, don't do that!


SAM: (As Pumat) I'm dying!


LIAM: (laughs) Oh my god!

MATT: So what's the marching order here?

ASHLEY: I'll go first.

LIAM: Caleb is very concerned about that, so he is going second.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: I'll go third.

MATT: Okay, so Yasha, Caleb, Caduceus.

TRAVIS: I'll be the caboose.

TALIESIN: Once you've been charmed, you can't be charmed again for a while, right?

MATT: Depends on the ability.

TALIESIN: Depends on the ability?

LAURA: I'll go between Beau and Fjord, if Beau is okay being after Caduceus.

MATT: Okay, so Beau is after Caduceus, then Jester, then Fjord at the end. Got it, okay. Sounds good. Let's move this out of the way.

TRAVIS: (whispering) Oh, such a pretty map. We're so spoiled, it's stupid.

MARISHA: It's so true.

LIAM: All of that was for a puzzle solving.

MATT: Dwarven Forge!

MARISHA: For just-- yeah.

SAM: Dwarven Forge!

TALIESIN: We could have been in combat and still fighting.


TALIESIN: Been trying to solve that.

MATT: It is a very small staircase, single file, heading down deeper and deeper. It spirals on and on for what must a hundred feet beneath the crypt or more. Slowly making your way through, until eventually, a faint bit of light is visible to you, Yasha. The staircase comes to an end. The spiral flattens out into a straight staircase that descends for an additional 15 or so feet. And you can see an archway that is open. It leads into a cylindrical-type chamber made of rough, ancient rock. There's three pillars in there, load bearing, holding whatever this chamber is up. It's not an immense chamber. It's maybe 50, 60 feet across, maybe a little less than that, even. From what you can just see as you glance down in the first look, there's an obelisk in the center that has runes up the side that glow this constant, bright white-yellow color. It's reminiscent of the obelisks that you all have found in the King's Cage. But the script is Celestial. And it is old, very old. At the top of this obelisk-- actually, at where you're standing now, you wouldn't be able to see the top. It is obfuscated by the top of the archway that leads into the chamber. Make a perception check.

ASHLEY: (whispering) Natural 20.

MATT: Natural 20!


ASHLEY: I'm still trying to be quiet.

MATT: Right. (laughter) What's the total with your perception added to it?


MATT: 23. Glancing down, you can see between these three pillars and the floor, and the obelisk that sits in the center, there are four runic circles drawn on the ground in a jagged script at the corner of this obelisk. Each corner having a circle. In one of the circles--

ASHLEY: Say again?

MATT: In one of the circles on the opposite side, you see Nott standing.


LAURA: Oh no, Nott!

ASHLEY: I just quietly--

MATT: Nott. Actually, all of you make stealth checks, please.

SAM: My perception's not that great.

MATT: What's your passive perception?

SAM: It's pretty bad. 11.

MATT: Fjord?



LIAM: 14.

LAURA: 15.



MATT: Yeah, you have no idea.

SAM: Ah. (laughter)

MATT: All right. So what do you guys do?

ASHLEY: I'll bow my head pretty quickly, and just say a quick prayer to the Stormlord. Please, please don't leave me again.

MATT: As you say that, you close your eyes and take a prayer. You hear thunder roll, but it's not echoing around you. It's internally. And as it gets louder and louder, you can feel the strength of the storm pulsing through you. And for a moment, you can feel the cold rain in your dreams falling upon your skin. A sense of peace comes over you.

ASHLEY: Please stay there. Can I see any of the runes or read any of the script on the-- you said it's in Celestial?

MATT: You read Celestial, yeah?


MATT: It's old, old Celestial. They speak of-- it's less of a sentence, and it's more these very intricate large runes that themselves are words. Each is representative of an idea, as opposed to a script of language. And it says, “eternal,” “bound,” “forever,” “at bay,” “left to darkness,” “secret.” Based on everything you've known, everything you've gathered, this in particular-- this is probably the shackle.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Oh jeez.

ASHLEY: I try to relay this information as quietly as I can behind me, because I know we're single file here.

LIAM: Caleb tries to peek under her armpit and read the Celestial as well.


MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.

LIAM: 20 total.

MATT: Okay, you're able to make out the same elements that she did.

ASHLEY: (whispering) Do you guys want to move in?

TRAVIS: (whispering) It's only Nott that you see? The other three circles are empty?

ASHLEY: (whispering) The other three circles are empty.

TRAVIS: It's clearly a trap.

MARISHA: It's clearly a trap.

TALIESIN: How far away are we?

MATT: Well, you guys are all in a line up at the top. Yasha's just at the top of the stairs, flattening out. And so you're about, I'd say, 10 feet, 15 feet from the archway that leads in.

TALIESIN: How far from Nott?

MATT: How far from Nott? I'd say maybe 30 feet.

ASHLEY: Can I see anything up above?

MATT: No, because the archway is down below you, and it's blocking it. You'd have to descend the stairs to be able to get a better look inside.

TRAVIS: Has it been an hour since I cast See Invisibility?


TRAVIS: Can I tap everyone on the shoulder and have them move to the side, still staying within where Yasha is, and just look around the room and see if I see anyone?

ASHLEY: I'll get up against the wall so you can peek.

LAURA: Before he goes up, I'm going to grab your hand as you walk past me and go: (whispering) Please be careful.

MATT: Are you entering the archway?

TRAVIS: No, no, from within the archway, still from behind--

MATT: Okay, you get down and look inside, you don't see anything else.

LIAM: Is Nott's back to all of us?

MATT: Nott is actually facing the obelisk.

LIAM: So we see her from the front, or we see her--

LAURA: (whispering) We can try something, me and Caduceus.

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: I can try and dispel.


TALIESIN: If you want.

LIAM: I can, too.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Are you going to try and dispel?

LIAM: I can.


TALIESIN: I can give you-- so I think-- I double-checked the language, and I think Guidance will help with the dispel roll.

TRAVIS: How far away is she?

MATT: It's an ability check.

TALIESIN: Which is what Guidance helps.

LAURA: Ability checks.

TALIESIN: "Add the number rolled to one ability check of its choice."

LAURA: Try it.

TALIESIN: You got a d4.

LIAM: (whispering) I mutter as quietly as I can, and move my hands through the air, and I cast it at 4th-level.

MATT: At 4th-level?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll d20. Add your intelligence modifier and your d4.

LIAM: I'm going to use Fortune's Favor to roll that again. Much better. What do I add to that, did you say?

MATT: d4, because it's-- and your intelligence modifier.

ASHLEY: I'm going to get ready to run towards her in case he notices.

LIAM: 25.

MATT: 25. You will is your own. Unexpectedly, suddenly, all of this strangeness-- and it came from the doorway.

SAM: What? Hello?

ASHLEY: (shushing)

SAM: Hello?

LIAM: (whispering) Pull out the wire. We are in the hallway. All of us are here. Do not reply to this message.

SAM: (moaning)


SAM: Praise be.

TRAVIS: Don't oversell it, motherfucker.

LAURA: Obann is going to know as soon as that thing is broken anyway.

ASHLEY: Yeah, he knows.

LIAM: (whispering) If they are in there with you and you know it, cough one time.

SAM: I look around. Is anyone in here with me? Do I know?

LAURA: Did you know if anyone's in there?

SAM: Oh, whispers.

LAURA: Oh, jeez Louise.

SAM: Remember, guys, Disney Villainous.


It's a great sponsor--

MATT: You fucking asshole.


ASHLEY: How many natural ones have we rolled tonight?

LAURA: Did anybody keep track?

TRAVIS: Four, five?

LAURA: No, it's at least-- yes, it's five, I think.

ASHLEY: It was five.

LIAM: You're responsible for two of them.


SAM: (coughing and hacking)


ASHLEY: The cough was if someone was in there?

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: (whispering) So what we do? What do we do?

MARISHA: (whispering) Do you all have things that could help us our wisdom?

LAURA: (whispering) I mean, I can cast. I'll cast Bless.

SAM: What?

LAURA: I'll cast Bless-- we're whispering-- I'll cast Bless on--

TALIESIN: If you do it at a high enough level, you can bless everybody, or both of us can bless. It's a 4th-level for--

LIAM: Don't forget I cast--

ASHLEY: Fortune's Favor.

TALIESIN: 2nd-level, 3rd-level, 4th-level. Yeah, we could split it, or I could also do--

MARISHA: You don't have to worry about me, necessarily, since I can save from it.

LAURA: Because you have it one, two, three, four, five.

ASHLEY: You can continue to do that?

MARISHA: I can do that.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, because Nott's probably fine.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That's level three. Or we can do less, if you prefer. Or actually, we might--

LAURA: Let's both do level one.

TALIESIN: Just both do level one blasts?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right. I'll take-- who do you want to take?

LAURA: I'll take Fjord and Caleb and you.

TALIESIN: All right, and I'll take--

MARISHA: I mean, I'll take it if you still want to give one out, but don't necessarily need it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, actually-- yeah, just because it's for attack.

LAURA: Yeah, mine as well.

ASHLEY: What's that do again?

LAURA: Okay, so we're all covered.

TRAVIS: What's Bless do again?

MARISHA: So wait, are we all blessed?

LAURA: Yeah, we're all blessed.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll do it at level two.

MATT: How many blessed today?

TALIESIN: Everybody's blessed.

MATT: Everybody's blessed.

ASHLEY: What does that mean again?

TALIESIN: You have a d4 to attacks and d4 to saves.

ASHLEY: (whispering) Got it.

LIAM: Attacks and saves.

TALIESIN: But I would say let's not cast it until right at the-- because it's one minute. So let's cast it once shit starts.

LAURA: Like as soon as we know we're about to go in, that's when we would cast?


TRAVIS: Like as soon as we walk in--

MATT: Which is whenever you guys want to.

TRAVIS: --the portal is going to get it on.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: What's the plan?

TALIESIN: We'll walk in--

TRAVIS: Shall we?

LIAM: Before we do, I whisper: (whispering) We are coming in. Don't do anything rash.

LAURA: (whispering) Or maybe just tell her to run, and then you can send a Fireball in there or something?

LIAM: (whispering) No.

TRAVIS: Three.



ASHLEY: Start walking in.

LAURA: (whooshing)

MATT: All right. As you enter the chamber, Yasha first, you now see this 15-foot tall obelisk rises up. And at the top is just this bright light, impossibly bright, like you cannot look into it, it's so bright. It lights up the top of the chamber. Three thick, gold chains emanate from it to connect to the different walls of the room. And you see nothing else in there.

SAM: Lots of Dwarven Forge tonight, guys. It's the Dwarven Forgiest.


LIAM: Oh, the chains!

LAURA: Oh cool!

SAM: That's Dwarven Forge. Wow, Matt! Wow!

LIAM: Fuck, dude!

TRAVIS: Yeah, you were busy this week.

LIAM: Yeah!

TALIESIN: So are those circles--

MATT: The circles are where you saw the runic circles in the ground.

LAURA: Which one is Nott in?

MATT: Nott is in this one.

TALIESIN: And no one else is--

TRAVIS: Can I do a onceover with my see-invisible eye?

MATT: Yasha, you enter?


MATT: All right. Do you all enter alongside Yasha?

MARISHA: We start fanning out.

LIAM: I'm going to hang in the doorway, I think.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to run over and flank towards Nott.

TALIESIN: I'll go to the left underneath that first gold chain, yeah.

MATT: Okay. I'll put you there.

TALIESIN: Like against the wall.

MATT: Against the wall?


LIAM: Oh my gosh. (like Caduceus) It's bad. We're running.

MATT: Beau, you're going this way?

MARISHA: That way, yeah, under the other gold chain, yep. And back to the wall, same thing.

MATT: Okay. Jester, Fjord?

LAURA: I mean, I guess I'll go in right next to the door.

MATT: Right here?

LAURA: Yeah, I'll just go to the side of it.

MATT: Right here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Looking for anything that hints of movement.

LAURA: We just walked in. You saw us coming in.

MATT: You guys all walk in. Fjord, you were towards the back, right?

TRAVIS: No, I walked up towards the front and tried to look in through the doorway.

MATT: Right, through the archway. But as we all enter, when--

TRAVIS: I was near the front.

SAM: Matty, do I remember my state? Like, am I hypnotized? Was I asked to stay here?

MATT: You were told to stay there.

SAM: Told to stay here, but like I have my--

MATT: You do now have your own will.

SAM: No, I know I do. But what I was instructed by my prior master-- I'm just wondering-- if they came in the room, I would shoot at them if I were trying to give off the illusion that I was still mind-controlled.

MATT: If you were trying to put out that illusion, yeah.

SAM: Okay, so as soon as they walk in, I fire a bolt, scream, and run to the corner of the room, and intentionally miss.

MATT: Okay. So you run off-- which corner?

SAM: Back left.

MATT: Back this way. Okay.

SAM: (shrieking) Intruders!

MATT: As you all walk in and fan out-- Fjord, you look around and look up, and you're the only one who can see.

MARISHA: (whispering) Oh my god!

MATT: Obann and the Caedogeist, who are both floating up at the top of the chamber, about 50 feet up above you, where the load-bearing pillars are all coming to a pyramid-type gathering at the top to keep this whole chamber up. And they're just up there watching you all. And right as you look up at them, Obann goes (snaps)-- and they both (whooshing). Everyone roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh, it's so Hereditary.

LAURA: Oh, I don't like it.

MARISHA: Oh my god, my initiative!

LAURA: Hereditary, creepy as fuck.

SAM: (quick inhale and exhale)

LAURA: No, that's Midsommar.

MATT: All right, 25 to 20.

SAM: Always with weird sound effects.

TRAVIS: 25 to 20.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Nobody.

LAURA: Nobody? Nobody? Nobody. Tight!

MATT: 20 to 15.




LIAM: Wow! Are you sure you're Ashley Johnson?


MATT: 15 to 10.

LAURA: Oh. Oh no. 10.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Fjord, Yasha, and who is it? 15--

ASHLEY: Caduceus-- Cad-doose-is-- was 17.

MATT: 10 to five.

LIAM: Fünf.


SAM: Seven!

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right.

SAM: Seven.

LAURA: So then it's Beau, Nott--

MATT: Beau, Nott, then Caleb. All righty.

TRAVIS: Sorry, can you run it down from top to bottom? I can't read my own fucking handwriting. Fjord, Caduceus?

MATT: Fjord, Caduceus, Yasha, Jester, Beau, Nott, Caleb.

TRAVIS: Gotcha.

MATT: All right.

SAM: (singing) Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun.

MATT: Top of the round.

LIAM: Goodness gracious.

MATT: Appearing from invisible, right by your side, Beauregard, as you were on that end, the Caedogeist appears, and (whooshing) goes to shunt the blade into you.

MARISHA: (singing) This is not going to be good.

MATT: That's going to be with advantage-- not a great roll, but still 22.


LAURA: Come on, none of us are over 20.

SAM: Years old.

LAURA: We're so young, oh my god!

SAM: Guys, I can rent a car now.

MARISHA: (singing) Fucking damage.


LAURA: I can't drink yet, but it's a good trade off, because I'm so young.

MATT: That's a really, really bad sneak attack roll. Three, two, two, three, one-- so you're lucky on that one.

SAM: I eat anything and never gain any weight.

MATT: You take 35 points of slashing damage. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: Damn it.

SAM: Ooh!

MARISHA: Oh, is that cocked?

SAM: Looks like you can read a number.

MATT: Nope.

MARISHA: Okay, what was it? Constitution save?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Ooh, ooh, and a Bless? And I'm blessed?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah!

SAM: Am I blessed?



MATT: Yeah, you resist the poison, no worries.

TALIESIN: You add a d4 to attacks.

MATT: Second strike going to be a 19.


MATT: Misses. So the first blow hits, and the blade withdraws. The poison and blood spilt across the stonework. And on the other strike, you just parry it out of the way. She's going to attempt to move into the wall.

MARISHA: I just healed that wound, bitch!

TRAVIS: Sentry?

MATT: Oh, you do get an attack of opportunity. Go for it.

TALIESIN: Add a d4 to your attack.

LAURA: Sentinel!

MARISHA: (whispering) Goddamn, goddamn, come on, please, don't fuck this up. Please don't fuck this up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 27.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: Yes! 12 damage, and that bitch is staying here.

MATT: Yeah, she can't move. She gets punched, and you grab. And your mystical hands that can-- you punch ghosts. As she goes into a ghostly mode, you reach out and grab her throat, and yank and hold her there in place. And she's like, (choking) and looks at you with these eyes of like, what the fuck are you?

MARISHA: You cut my brand new robes.

MATT: All right, that finishes her turn. The mirrored form now expands out of her over that strike.

MARISHA: No, no, no, keep going.

MATT: Which, actually, yeah. I'm going to see if-- no, she fucking rolled two. All right, so the mirrored form doesn't affect her, but she still has--

TRAVIS: A duplicate?

MATT: Her three duplicates around her.

TRAVIS: Three!

LAURA: Right, right. Mirror Image.

LIAM: Jesus Christ.

MATT: So you do still hit her with that, though. So she's still held in place with a speed of zero. Finishing her turn. Fjord, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck.

TRAVIS: Can I see Obann invisible in the air?

MATT: You, can actually.

LAURA: Nice!

MATT: And he is up on this end here.

LAURA: Oh my god, summon a demon.


TRAVIS: Too fucking soon.


TRAVIS: Can I move up forward, and peek out from just behind this pillar? Move forward up towards it, and with my--

MATT: Right here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, just on this side right here.

MATT: Okay, gotcha.

TRAVIS: With my last spell, activating the sword, can I grip it, make the blade pulse, and I will reach in and say: Wildmother, shine your light. And I will cast Faerie Fire on Obann.


MATT: Oh shit! Okay.

LIAM: Eat shit, Obann.

TRAVIS: And he cannot be invisible anymore. Dexterity 15 saving throw.

MATT: Gotcha.

SAM: He's pretty dextrous.

TRAVIS: Yeah. It's always worth a shot, though.

SAM: Yes, that's a great idea.

LAURA: Give me a one! Natural one!

MATT: It was a natural one.

MARISHA: Shut up!

MATT: But he has resistance.

SAM: (whispering) Resistance?

MATT: He has magic resistance. He gets advantage on saving throws against spells. Natural fucking three.

TRAVIS: (yelling) Ooh, yay! Not invisible anymore!

LIAM: But that one is $500.

LAURA: Does it count?


MARISHA: It's only when it--

LIAM: Only when it sticks?

TRAVIS: Wow, okay.

MATT: So yeah, he's sparkly. So you guys watch as Obann suddenly-- you watch as Fjord walks out, grasps, and thinks of the Wildmother, and then as he puts his hand up, there's a (whooshing) like a small-- reminiscent of a small Hupperdook party-- a firework goes off in the upper part of the chamber. And as the sparkles fall, they gather and outline sticking to the form of Obann. You can now see him (wings flapping) in the air. And he's like, (hissing).

TRAVIS: Great. I will, with my bonus action, just turn back around and put my back to the pillar.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: That's my turn.

MATT: All right. Finishing your go. Caduceus, you're up, and then Yasha, you're on deck.

SAM: Does Faerie Fire give any advantage or anything?

MARISHA: Yeah, you get advantage on attacks.

SAM: On all attacks?

LIAM: He's shiny.

MATT: Faerie Fire is nasty. That fucking sucks for him.

TRAVIS: I'm officially at empty.

TALIESIN: Are we starting there, then, I suppose?

ASHLEY: We have advantage on all attacks?

LAURA: Against Obann, yeah.

MARISHA: I think we start wherever it makes the most fucking sense.

TALIESIN: How far away is he from me right now?

MATT: Right now-- he's about from you at this moment, 55 feet.

TALIESIN: Okay, there's no way I could get within 30 feet of him right now?

MATT: No, no, he's too high up in the air.

TALIESIN: Okay, so I am going to-- I figure everyone else has got it. I'm going to back up from him a little bit against the wall. And if I can see our other friend over here, who seems pretty stunned--

MATT: You can.

TALIESIN: I'm going to hit her with Blight.

MATT: A Blight, okay.

TALIESIN: That's a constitution save.

MATT: That is. Natural 20.


TALIESIN: Okay. Still takes damage, though, right?

MATT: Correct. It's necrotic, right?

TALIESIN: It's necrotic.

MATT: She does not have resistance to necrotic.

TALIESIN: No, so that's a lot.

MATT: They have had time to heal since your last battle, so the wounds that were taken upstairs have been taken care of, so they're both at full.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's good. Actually, can I borrow this for a second?

LAURA: They healed?

MATT: You guys got a chance to heal.

LAURA: Yeah, but not fully. We didn't take a full rest.

SAM: Yeah, but they're powerful.

LAURA: They're way more powerful than us.

TALIESIN: Five, six. Oh my god, this is amazing. So total here is--

MATT: You guys also spent, like, a long time searching that chamber above, too.

LIAM: At least 20 minutes fucking with that shit.

MATT: Probably like a half an hour or so with everything you were doing.

LAURA: Just shy of an hour, probably, before we got down here.

TALIESIN: So 20, 36, 42, 51 points of necrotic damage.

MATT: That's some crazy rolls!

TALIESIN: I rolled eight, six, eight, six, eight six, four, five.

MATT: Jesus!

TALIESIN: Yeah, 8d8, and almost all of them were eights and sixes.

MATT: 51?

TALIESIN: Yeah, 51.

MATT: Still halved, but even halved, that's 25 points of damage. Nice!


MATT: All right, Caduceus.

TRAVIS: Nice job, man.

MATT: That finishes your turn?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I can't really do much for a bonus action, so I'm just going to hold there.

MATT: Yasha, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay. I would like to rage.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Yes, you would! Yes, you would!

ASHLEY: I'm really, really, really fucking mad. Okay.

MATT: Skingorger, or Magician's Judge?

TALIESIN: Only Skingorger is attuned.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah, only Skin-- this was a question. Because I wanted to switch to Magician's Judge because-- but I can't do it.

TALIESIN: Would there have been time on the walk down to switch swords or no?

MATT: It takes a short rest to attune, unfortunately.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's fine. He's so far up there, I can't get him.

TALIESIN: You do have another target.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I'm going to go over to her.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Hit her four times.

MATT: While Beau has her grabbed.

MARISHA: Hit her. Hit her!

ASHLEY: I'm going to hit her.

TALIESIN: With a four, too, with a d4.

TRAVIS: Does that give her automatic advantage?

TALIESIN: And automatic advantage.

MATT: No, not against her.

TALIESIN: Oh, unless you--

MATT: You have to do reckless if you want to do advantage.

TALIESIN: What if-- strafed her-- not with the already engaged?

MATT: Oh, actually with your movement, you could move behind her if you wanted to do that.


ASHLEY: Oh yeah, absolutely.

MATT: You can do that.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I mean--

TALIESIN: You get advantage and the d4.

ASHLEY: 14. Oh, I get advantage, and a d4.

MARISHA: Sentinel babes, back in the house.

ASHLEY: Yeah, much better. Okay, 20.

MATT: So what's the first attack?


MATT: To hit?

ASHLEY: To hit.

MATT: To hit? All right. You strike, and her form blurs. (whooshing) And you Watch now three forms of illusory versions of herself that surround and move through her. You strike at one, and it vanishes. So you miss her, but you've eliminated one of the images.


MATT: You can take your second attack.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Natural 20.


MARISHA: Yes! You are on fire!

MATT: Let's see if this works. Fuck! All right, no, that hits.


TRAVIS: All right, do it.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Do it slowly.

MATT: Go ahead and roll some damage.

ASHLEY: All right.

MATT: So this is your first hit, so it does get your additional d6.


MARISHA: Big money!

LAURA: And then double it? Is that how it works?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Roll the dice.

TALIESIN: And you can reroll ones?

ASHLEY: I think I can reroll all of them.

MATT: You can reroll one of the dice.

LAURA and ASHLEY: One of the dice?

MATT: Hold on, let's double check.

ASHLEY: I think I can reroll all of them, and then take the higher.

TRAVIS: I think it's just one.

ASHLEY: You think it's just one?

MATT: Reroll the weapon's damage dice, so weapon's. You can reroll the one d12.

LAURA: Reroll that three.

TRAVIS: She's not doing 12, she's doing the 3d6.

LAURA: No, she's doing two twelves.

TRAVIS: Oh, is she?

LAURA: Yeah.


MATT: Well, for the Brutal Critical, she has that.

TALIESIN: Didn't change anything.

ASHLEY: Okay. So shit, what was this one, a four?

LAURA: It was a four, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, so seven, eight, so 16.

MATT: Plus?

ASHLEY: Plus-- I think it's--

TALIESIN: Been a while!


MATT: Getting the rust off. But we got your back.

ASHLEY: 23 points of damage.

MATT: Woo!

ASHLEY: So before I do that, I want to look at her and say--

MATT: You added your Brutal Critical, right?

TRAVIS: You roll one more damage dice.

ASHLEY: Another one?

LAURA: Another d12.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Another d12?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And at this level--

ASHLEY: I've been rolling sixes.

TRAVIS: Are you 10th level?

ASHLEY: Wait, no. My weapon is only sixes. These look like 12s because they're--

MATT: Oh! I see.

ASHLEY: No, they're weird.

LAURA: Oh, they're confusing?

ASHLEY: Yeah, they're confusing.

MATT: So your roll an additional d6.

ASHLEY: I roll and additional d6, okay. I was like, wait.

MATT: For Brutal Critical.

ASHLEY: Okay, an extra three.

LAURA: Times two, so six.

ASHLEY: Times to, so six.

MATT: So 29 points of damage. Nice.

TALIESIN: Did you get anything else out of a critical as raging barbarian?

MATT: Well, she gets to do additional damage, which-- yeah, so that's that there. Okay.

ASHLEY: Before I do that, I want to look at her, and just look her in the eyes and say: You can have control over your mind. Fight it.

MATT: You look in the face, and you can like-- she's under the same influence you've been.

TRAVIS: So she's-- does she have a fucking glowing orange?

ASHLEY: I tried to say that loud enough so people could hear.

MATT: That's loud enough, that's fine.

TRAVIS: You going to do that?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. I already knew that thing. I know those.

MATT: Finishing Yasha's turn, it is Obann's turn. Obann--

LAURA: I've been scrying on them.

MATT: -- is going to go ahead and shift over this way, and glance over in your direction, as you're the one who Faerie Fired.

TRAVIS: Hello!

MATT: He says, "Hello, would you do me a favor?" Make a wisdom saving throw.

TALIESIN: With a d4.

TRAVIS: (humming)


MATT: You are dominated. Fjord, you are charmed. Sorry, I mean charmed. And he's going to point at the circle.


MATT: So your command is to go step into a circle. All right. That brings us to Jester.

LAURA: Fuck. I was focused on that. I'm going to try to cast at 4th-level, Dispel Magic. That's all I've got 4th-level.


LAURA: It probably need to be 5th-level on her. I'm trying to cast Dispel Magic on the Inevitable End.

MATT: Okay. You do not see.

LAURA: I know she has the thing, because I've been scrying on them.

MATT: Oh, that's true, you would.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You would. You'd have to move to get a better view, but you can do that if you want. Yeah, so one, two, three, four, five. You'd have to get into the circle to be able to see her, based on how she's being held.

LAURA: Jesus!

MATT: But you'd have a view of it. What do you want to do?

TALIESIN: Do you have any movement left?

LAURA: Would I have any movement after that?

MATT: No. It takes all your movement to get--

LAURA: I'm doing it.

MATT: You're doing it? All right. So you step forward into the circle. And it's strange, as you step into the one, you feel like this cold come over you. And you step out of that first circle, you step into the one on the opposite end. And as you get ready, you can lean in, and you can see as Beau is grasping her throat, and Yasha is with her behind and striking, and she's looking around. Eyes darting wildly, she turns back towards Beauregard. And on the back of the neck, right beneath the red hair, you can see the faint orange glow. You can feel the cold of the circle causing all of your skin to get goosebumps. And your heart sinks in your chest.

LAURA: I embrace the cold.

MATT: Okay, and you cast it at 4th-level, you said?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Go ahead roll a d20 for me. Bless is not ability checks, right?

LAURA: Yeah.


LAURA: Why am I cursed? A two plus whatever.

MATT: Unfortunately, the dispel does not land.

LAURA: Damn it.

LIAM: You're so bad at D&D.

LAURA: I'm so fucking bad at D&D.

SAM: Nominee for best actress.

MATT: No, that was a great fucking maneuver.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Just a shitty die.

MARISHA: It sucks.

MATT: All right, that's your action and your movement. You have a bonus still.

LAURA: As a bonus action-- I can't cast another spell, so I'm just going to go: Fuck!

MATT: Okay. All right, that finishes Jester's turn. Beau, you're up. Nott, you're on deck.

LIAM: Go ham.

MARISHA: I got her by the throat?

SAM: Kill this girl?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Whack! Whack! (laughter) Fucking wall.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: Love it.

MARISHA: Let me try it first at first attack, first roll.

MATT: You do have advantage on these attacks, because you and Yasha are--

MARISHA: Flanking.

TALIESIN: Plus d4.

MARISHA: Hey, I'll take that 28.

MATT: That definitely hits.

MARISHA: Plus three, 31.

MATT: 31. (whooshing) You destroy another one of the images.

MARISHA: Okay, second attack. So almost a natural 20. 26.

MATT: Definitely hits. Hits her.

MARISHA: 27, 28 total?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: With the-- hits her? 12 damage. Stunning Strike.

MATT: Stunning Strike.

TALIESIN: But they run out.

MARISHA: I'm focusing on her, because--

MATT: 19.

MARISHA: (whispering) Fucking bitch. Goddamn it.

SAM: I guess we focus on her?

LAURA: She can't be killed. That's the thing that Yasha said. All of them can't be killed.

TALIESIN: We get rid of that if we ever-- if Obann does, then it's fine.

MARISHA: Just trying to stun her.

MATT: You still have a bonus action still.

LAURA: He just came back.

MARISHA: (whispering) Oh my god, I'm running out of ki points. Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: First pop. 24.

MATT: Hits her.

MARISHA: Plus four, 28.

MATT: Rolling real shitty on her Mirror Image rolls.

MARISHA: 10 damage.

MATT: 10 damage, all righty. And you have one more attack in Flurry of Blows. Unless you're doing something else.

MARISHA: She rolled a 19 on her save?

MATT: She did.

MARISHA: 22 plus-- 26.

MATT: That hits. Four, roll four, roll of four, roll of four. I keep fucking rolling fours. All right.

MARISHA: Another 10 damage.

MATT: Another 10 damage. All right.

MARISHA: Extract Aspects.

MATT: Okay. She is resistant to acid, fire, lightning, cold, and thunder.


MATT: As well as piercing, slashing, and bludgeoning from non-magical.

MARISHA: Non-magic.

MATT: She is immune to poison.

TALIESIN: Makes sense.

MATT: She cannot be frightened. She cannot be grappled. She cannot be paralyzed. She cannot be poisoned, or made prone, or restrained.

SAM: Oh, so Stunning Strike wouldn't have worked anyway.

MATT: No, she's not immune to stun.

MARISHA: She can't get grappled, prone, or restrained, frightened, poisoned. She's immune to non-magic or paralyzed. Right? Did you say paralyzed?

MATT: Yeah, paralyzed. She's immune to paralyzed.

MARISHA: Paralyzed, immune to acid-- or no, resistant.

MATT: Resistant, yeah.

MARISHA: To acid, fire, lightning, cold. Shit. I'm going to do a shout out and say: Think necrotic and holy on this girl. It's all you can really do.

SAM: Cool.

MARISHA: It's what I say.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Obann?

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: Okay, Beau's done. Nott, you're up, Caleb, you're on deck.

SAM: How high up is he?

MATT: 50 feet.

SAM: Oh man! I'm going to have disadvantage on the shot anyway.

TALIESIN: No, it's going to be cleared out, because he had all of his attacks have advantage.

SAM: I know, but I won't get sneak attack. So in that case, I'm going to fire on what's her name.

MARISHA: I'm running out of shit to do, too.

SAM: Unless--

TRAVIS: Explode the crystal. Release the--

SAM: What? What? That's an option?

TALIESIN: Eh, don't do that.

SAM: Balls. Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls.

MATT: What are you doing, Nott?

SAM: Man! I wish I could do more than just cast a spell. I guess I'll take her out, right? Would that help?

ASHLEY: He also has advantage--

SAM: She's resistant to--

TALIESIN: Everything except for necrotic--

MARISHA: Acid, fire, lightning, cold, thunder, non-magical weapons.

SAM: Piercing?

LAURA: No, you can pierce her.

SAM: Oh, okay. Well, then I will shoot her.

MARISHA: As long as it's-- because it's magical.

SAM: Yeah, I will shoot her.

MATT: Go for it. Roll for an attack.

SAM: 13.

MATT: 13 misses.

SAM: Bonus action.

TALIESIN: Wait. But you get an advantage?

LAURA: Plus four.

TALIESIN: No, if you're Blessed.

MATT: But you're not Blessed.

TALIESIN: You are Blessed.

SAM: Still only 14.

LAURA: And we're flanking her.

TALIESIN: So you get advantage.

LAURA: You get advantage.

MARISHA: You get advantage.

SAM: You do? Okay. Is that true? Hey, that's 27.

MATT: Actually, no. Nott was not blessed, because Nott was not in the room.

LAURA: Yeah, Nott was Blessed.

TALIESIN: Wait, it was within 30 feet. When we walked in, we did everybody.

MATT: Oh right, Okay. All right.


SAM: And I get advantage?

LIAM: Does Nott get advantage in this?

MATT: Against her?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: No, you don't get advantage, but you do get sneak attack damage if you hit.

SAM: I didn't hit, so 14. So that didn't hit. Next roll is a 24 to hit.

MATT: 24 to hit. There we go!

LIAM: One to connect, that's all you need.

MATT: You shoot the last of the images, and it vanishes. It absorbs the final blow. But now all of the mirror images have vanished, and she is definitely there.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: For as long as she is there.

SAM: Then I'll just move that way 15 feet.

MATT: 15 feet. That finishes your turn, Nott. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: I start to wander in, looking at Fjord a little anxiously. And I'm going to move to the column closest to me.

MATT: Okay, right here?

LIAM: And fire just springs up in my hand, and I just huck a Fire Bolt at Obann.

MATT: Go for it. You have advantage on the attack roll.

SAM: Fire Bolt.

TALIESIN: No, I think they're resistant to fire.

LAURA: Yeah, he's resistant.

LIAM: I'm still doing it, because I have nothing else I can do. It definitely hits, I rolled at 19, plus nine, 27.

MATT: 27 hits.

LIAM: And it's just 2d10. I will know after this that he can't be hurt. Nine of fire.

MATT: Nine points fire damage. Reduced to half because he's resistant. So (whooshing) gets the hit, seems to shrug it off, no issue.

TRAVIS: Not something he has to maintain on old Fjordy boy?

MATT: Nope.

SAM: Fjordy boy.

LIAM: I will actually stand just-- could I go just outside that circle?

MATT: Right there?

LIAM: Yeah, right there.

MATT: There you go.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: All righty. That brings us to the Caedogeist's turn. The Caedogeist-- It's going to go ahead and take attempt cast Darkness in her space.

SAM: Ooh. Metal!

MATT: Create an area of magical darkness in this area. So as she does so, (whooshing) this black sphere envelops the area. Both Yasha and Beauregard can see nothing. You are engulfed in magical darkness that your eyes cannot pierce. She then attempts to shift into the wall. Both of you guys get attacks of opportunity with disadvantage.

MARISHA: Oh man! Come on, Sentinel babes!

ASHLEY: Come on, Sentinel babes.

TALIESIN: Add the d4 just case.

ASHLEY: Oh, disadvantage?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Fuck. I rolled another natural 20. Okay, so 17.

MATT: 17 misses.

LAURA: Did you add a d4?

ASHLEY: I did, yeah.

SAM: Gone!

MATT: Vanishes.

SAM: Does the darkness go with her, or it stays there?

MATT: No, the darkness stays. All right. She moves up. That's her turn. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: (singing) I think we're alone now.

MATT: Fjord steps into the circle, and the cold (whooshing) washes over you. Finishes your turn.

TRAVIS: I'm dominated, right?

TALIESIN: You don't get to attempt to save against it?

SAM: Because he was just told to go in the circle, not kill any of us, right?

MATT: Nope. Nope, no save. All right. That brings us to Caduceus. And Yasha's on deck.

TALIESIN: I'm going to walk up to Fjord. And fuck it, I'm-- no one die, okay? I'm going to cast Greater Restoration on Fjord.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Yes! Yes!

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: So he is no longer charmed.

MATT: He is no longer charmed.

TALIESIN: And I'm going to grab him. I'm going to take his hand. And I'm going to pull him out of the circle and say, come with me.

MATT: You can't, because you used your action to cast the spell.

TALIESIN: That was my action.

MATT: Right.

TALIESIN: My bonus can't be come with me, and drag him?

MATT: No. To forcefully pull somebody and push them out of the space is either part of an ability or an action to do so. To do that-- to cast the spell and then pull him out-- he's still recovering from it. You can't do both in this round.

TRAVIS: Hi, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Get out of the circle as soon as possible. I'm going to back the hell back up against the wall.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And I don't think I have any other shit that I can do. Yeah. No, just for-- yeah, no that's-- yep, that's what I can do.

MATT: All right, that finishes Caduceus. Yasha, you're up.


MATT: You're just covered in darkness right now. The Caedogeist slipped out of your grasp. Your blade hit the side of the wall. No actual impact. What do you do?

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to try to back out of the circle, if I can.

MATT: And you moved five feet, and your vision comes back to you.

ASHLEY: Okay. So, um... I'd like to go beside Jester.

MATT: Okay, move over.

SAM: (Irish accent) I'd like to move beside Jester. Holy shit!


TRAVIS: Holy shit!


MATT: You'll get the joke in two years.


Year and a half.

ASHLEY: Jester, do you think you can get out there?

LAURA: Sure, yes-- sure, yeah.

ASHLEY: You think so?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Fuck. I don't know what to do, because I can't reach him up there.

LAURA: You can hold your attack until he's within reach.

TALIESIN: You can hold on attack until anything's within reach.

LAURA: You can get up underneath him, and then hold your attack if he comes down to the ground or something?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. All right, I'll just get close to where he is.

MATT: Okay. Over here. That's five, 10, 15.

SAM: (yawns)

LAURA: I know, it's late!

MARISHA: Long game.

SAM: Is anybody packed?


LIAM: Yes.

SAM: You did?

LIAM: That's what I did today.

ASHLEY: And try to taunt him to come down a little closer.

MATT: Okay, you're just going to intimidate him?


MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll an intimidation check.

ASHLEY: I can use my strength with that, right?

MATT: I'll let you do that.

ASHLEY: Because I think we talked about that?

MATT: Yeah, that's one of the variant rules I'm allowing.

ASHLEY: Oh boy! Six.

LAURA: Oh, yeah.

MATT: He's unfazed. He looks down at you and goes, (laughs).

TALIESIN: You got to hold attack for the next thing--

ASHLEY: I'm still scared of him a little bit, you know? It's going take a minute for me to get my courage.

MATT: All right.

SAM: It's a lot.

MATT: It is now Obann's turn. Obann goes, "Here, I'll do you one more."


MATT: He flies down and enters the circle next to you.

LAURA: Oh no! Can you attack him since he's close?

MATT: He's not close enough to you. You were holding an action to do that-- to attack him when he gets close, but I'm saying that right here, he's just out of range. He flies down, and he's outside of the combat range. And he looks back towards Jester. He goes, "I could really use your help with this." You see as he reaches in his pocket, and begins to pull out some sort of strange black dust, and scattering it in the center of the chamber. I need you make a wisdom saving throw for me, Jester.

TALIESIN: With a d4.

LAURA: I'm scared of my dice tonight.

MARISHA: Come on.

LIAM: Come on, La!

SAM: Was it a save of some sort?

LAURA: It's 10 plus nine. 19.

MATT: 19, you resist it.


MARISHA: That's right!

SAM: That Bless!

MATT: All right. That finishes Obann's turn. Jester, you're up.

MARISHA: (whispering) Fuck.

LAURA: I'm going to step out of the circle.

MATT: Which way?

LAURA: Yeah, towards him, why the fuck not?

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Sounds like she's Russian mafia. "Yeah, why the fuck not?"

LAURA: Why the fuck not? And I'm going to--

TRAVIS: Jester Wick.

LAURA: -- reach out to him... and cast Inflict Wounds.


MATT: Okay, at what level?

LAURA: That would be at 3rd-level.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: It's necrotic, yeah?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: It's the one they're not all immune to, it seems.

LAURA: Oh, plus four. Four. 20?

MATT: 20 is exactly his armor class. (cheering)

TRAVIS: Oh my god, finally! That shit is so hot and cold.

ASHLEY: Yes, get it.

SAM: Two Blesses in a row.


SAM: Church!

MARISHA: #blessed.

LAURA: Is that a 10? That's a 10. Okay, so thats how many, 5d10?

MATT: 5d10.

LAURA: Nine, 16, 24.

SAM: Good rolls.

LAURA: 26, plus one. 27.

MATT: 27 points necrotic damage. You reach out and grab the front of his chest. And as you release the divine energy, you see the green energy of the Traveler reach into his body, and then pierce into the center of his flesh. (grunting) Flinches back, his darkened eyes suddenly go deep, deep forest green, and you see him (gasping) have a hard time breathing for a second.

SAM: Yes.


LAURA: For my bonus action, can I reach down and try to smear the glyph on the ground? I don't know if it'll work.

MATT: That would be more of an action to actively adjust it, yeah.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: Okay. Beau, you're up. Nott, you're on deck.

MARISHA: All right, I'm going to come out of the darkness.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And I'm going to run towards where I heard Obann's voice. Can I do like, doo, doo, doo, parkour badass monk shit off of the pillar. (laughter) Forward flip.

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: Flying kick to his face.

MATT: Make an acrobatics check. Super high DC.

LAURA: Don't land in a glyph!


MATT: Oh, huh, uh, aah! You--

MARISHA: Slide down the wall.

LAURA: You get advantage, because he's--

MATT: You don't take any fall damage, but you do fall prone.

MARISHA: Wait, do I get a d4 with it?

TALIESIN: Not for that.

MATT: Not for an ability check, no. It was a difficult acrobatics check.

SAM: And you failed it.

MATT: So you failed it. So you fall prone. And you climb up and you slip off the top, tumble. You keep yourself from taking fall damage. But you do fall prone. You can--

MARISHA: I still have like half my movement.

MATT: You used about--

MARISHA: Can I stand up?

MATT: You used about 20 to get over there and then fell. So you could use the other 20 to get up.

MARISHA: Yeah. And then I'm next to him, right?

MATT: And you have a speed of 50, that's right. So you can still get over there, yeah. Fucking monks.

MARISHA: I just stand up and look around and hope no one saw it.

LAURA: I saw it.

TALIESIN: Everybody saw it.

MATT: Everybody saw it.

TRAVIS: Nice move!

MARISHA: Thanks, I'm tired.

SAM: You fell.

MARISHA: (screaming)

MATT: All right, go for it.

MARISHA: (wailing)

LAURA: Advantage.

TALIESIN: Advantage and a d4.

MARISHA: Advantage?

LAURA: Because he's Faerie Fired.

TRAVIS: She is dignity, she is grace.

MARISHA: Okay, 22?

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: For the first attack, 10 damage.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: (As Pumat) Oh, there's so much blood!

MARISHA: Stunning Strike.

MATT: Stunning Strike, you said?

MARISHA: (laughs) Stunning Strike.

MATT: That is a 22.


MATT: He rolled pretty high.

MARISHA: Second attack?

TRAVIS: (As Pumat) They just keep coming.

MARISHA: Cocked.

LAURA: I'm going to vomit. I feel like I'm going to puke.

MARISHA: 22 again?

MATT: Yeah, that hits. Damage?

MARISHA: Eight damage.

MATT: Eight damage? All righty. Bonus action?

MARISHA: He rolled high. (whispering) Constitution save-- [inaudible]

MATT: It's up to you. What are you going to do?

MARISHA: I want to go stun him. Stunning Strike. Just roll like a natural one or something.

MATT: Same roll, 22. Sorry.

TALIESIN: It was worth it.

LAURA: It could have been good.


MATT: Bonus action, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Bonus action, I'll just take one hit.

SAM: Go for it, roll for the attack.

LAURA: Still advantage.

MARISHA: Still advantage.

TALIESIN: Still d4.

MARISHA: Rolled a natural 18, so 28.

MATT: That hits, roll damage.

MARISHA: 30 total. And another eight damage.

MATT: Another eight damage, got it. That finish your turn?


MATT: All right, Beauregard is done. Nott, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck.

SAM: Oh, I'm up?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Okay. It seems engaged, so I will attack it with my crossbow.

MATT: Go for it. Roll for the crossbow.

SAM: Natural one.


TRAVIS: Fucking A.

LAURA: Although you do have advantage.

TALIESIN: And a d4.

SAM: Oh, great. My advantage sucks also, plus a d4. It's not going to hit. 18.

MATT: 18 misses.

SAM: Okay. And bonus action, also attack.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Also advantage.

SAM: Okay, way better. 20, to a 32 to hit.

MATT: 32 to hit. That definitely hits.

SAM: Uh-huh. And with sneak attack?

MATT: Yep. Because he is adjacent to Beauregard and Jester.

SAM: 10, 15, 16, 22 points of damage.

MATT: Nice. All righty. He's starting to look a little hurt.

SAM: A little hurt?

MATT: I'm starting to see some wear on him.

SAM: A little wear?

MATT: Yeah. Does that finish your turn, Nott?

SAM: I'm going to just move another 10 feet that way.

MATT: Ba-doop. You got it.

TRAVIS: (falsetto) "A little wear?"

MATT: Okay. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Very simple, I'm going to move just five feet this way so I can get eyes on Obann. And let's go another five feet, and chuck another Fire Bolt at him, which is not going to do much, but I'm going to do it anyway.

MATT: It does give him-- oh, from there, he doesn't have cover, so you're good.

LIAM: Okay, so that's 16.

MATT: 16 misses.

LIAM: It misses.

MATT: It just goes through the wing. (whooshing) It knocks it out of the way.

LIAM: Okay, that's it. I'm just waiting.

MATT: All right. Top of the turn.



SAM: Oh, who's that? What's that? What's that going on?

TRAVIS: It's that beesh.

TALIESIN: I knew it.

LAURA: Is that beesh?

ASHLEY: This bish.

LIAM: This bish.

SAM: Oh no, she's getting in a circle, isn't she? Oh no, she's not.

LIAM: No, she's cutting off the wizard's head.

MATT: That is going to be a 28 to hit.

LIAM: Hits.

LAURA: Are you sure, though?

MATT: (many dice clacking)

ALL: (groaning)

MARISHA: Did you see the joy on that face when he rolled that?

LIAM: She could do this in one hit. That'd be kind of cool.

MATT: 46 points of piercing damage. I need you to make a constitution saving throw for me, please.

TALIESIN: With a d4.

LAURA: Can you Shield?

LIAM: Wouldn't have done anything. 15--

MATT: With a d4.

LIAM: Yep.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: You are the paperclip.

TALIESIN: Man. I want everyone to live through this.

LIAM: 21.

MATT: You resist the poison. Second strike against you is going to be a 22 to hit.

LIAM: It hits.

MATT: You take--

TALIESIN: "I see you're trying to resist the poison."

MATT: --11 points of slashing damage-- or, piercing damage, and then you also have made another constitution saving throw.

LIAM: Hm? Another Constitution saving throw. Oh, for same deal.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Plus d4.


LIAM: 13.

MATT: 13? You are poisoned.

SAM: (groaning) No, Caleb, no!

MATT: And she is going to (whooshing) shift over into the circle.

LIAM: Oh, I will throw a Fire Bolt at her as she goes.

MATT: You have War Caster, you can.

MARISHA: (sneezes)

LAURA: Bless you!

LIAM: No, it's 20.

MATT: 20? That hits.

LIAM: With Bless.


MATT: Actually, she's going to use her reaction to parry.

LIAM: For a Fire Bolt?

MATT: No, she'll take it. She'll take it.

LIAM: I'm confused!

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: Big five.

MATT: Awesome. Two points of fire damage. Okay. Now, Fjord, it's your turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I will--

MATT: You're going to stay in that circle. And Obann telepathically to you says--


MATT: No! Oh, that's right. No, you broke it. It's all right, never mind.

TALIESIN: Fuck off.

TRAVIS: I'm getting the fuck out of that circle.

MARISHA: "N-no. No."

TALIESIN: Whatever the opposite of that is.

TRAVIS: And I will walk around and try and get within melee range of Obann on the ground.

MATT: You can get over here. 25 feet.

SAM: You got nice little circle going around Obi.

TRAVIS: Two strikes with the Star Razor. Advantage because he's on Faerie Fire.

TALIESIN: Plus a d4.


TALIESIN: It's my mantra.

TRAVIS: That is a 22. 23 to hit. I didn't need to roll that.

MATT: 23 to hit? He's going to go ahead and use-- No, he can't do that. Never mind. Yeah, that hits.

TRAVIS: Okay, and the second one is... 30 to hit.

MATT: Yeah, that hits as well.

SAM: Whoa!


MARISHA: Hey, that's cool.

TRAVIS: And 17 is 29.

MATT: 29 points of damage from both strikes, as you rush around the way, and (whooshing) arc throw him twice, the blade (whooshing) cutting through. He's like (groaning). He sees you step out of the circle, and he's starting to see his plan begin to crumble. All right. Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: Yes. Sorry, it's a 31. 31, just plus two.

MATT: Oh, 31, got you.

TRAVIS: Yes, that is the end my turn.

MATT: Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm not even going to move. Do I have a clear shot on Obann right now?

MATT: From where you are right now? No, you'd have to move a bit.

TALIESIN: All right, staying against the wall.

SAM: (whispering) We do this all the time.

TALIESIN: Staying against the wall, I'm going to-- let's pop another Blight.

MATT: Sure.


MATT: That is with advantage, 25.

TALIESIN: Still half.

LIAM: --reaction to hit him.

TALIESIN: So I'm doing this again. Two.

TRAVIS: Even if he's whipped, he can still bamf out.

TALIESIN: Four. Six.

MARISHA: And then we have Fjord, Cad, and Yasha before his turn comes up.

SAM: Well, Fjord, Cad, and Yasha have to kill him.

TALIESIN: So that's--

SAM: Or silence him? Can anyone silence him?

MATT: How much damage is that?

TALIESIN: That's 19, 24, 34. 39.

MATT: 39? Points of necrotic, half of that into 18.


MATT: So (whooshing), you see the blood, the moisture being drawn from his body, the impact taking hold in him. It hurt.

TALIESIN: Damn it.

MATT: Does that finish your turn, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Yeah, yep. I'm actually just going to curl against the wall even further just to try and to be out of his sight.

MATT: Okay, got it. Yasha, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to take-- I'm going to take the attacks against him.

MARISHA: (singing) So poetic.

MATT: You have advantage on these without having to go reckless. Because Jester is on the opposite side of you.

TRAVIS: And Faerie Fire.

MATT: And Faerie Fire, that's right.

LAURA: Your dice are weird!

ASHLEY: I know, I just like how this one rolls when it does well. Okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: (laughs) “When it does well.”


MATT: It looks cool, but it keeps rolling like it's designed to be cocked.

TALIESIN: Plus a four if you want.

MATT: Not a lot thought went into that one. Not a lot of R&D.


MATT: 26 hits.

ASHLEY: Yes. Okay.

SAM: Put him a body bag!

ASHLEY: Oh, okay, I'll keep that one. Okay, so eight, nine.

TALIESIN: And you can reroll.

LAURA: Yeah, reroll one!

ASHLEY: Much better.

LAURA: Nice!

ASHLEY: 22 points for the first hit.

MATT: Nice! The second hit?

MARISHA: Ain't it cute?

TALIESIN: It's like felted.

TRAVIS: It's real sheep ass.

ASHLEY: Yeah, fucking four. I get advantage on the second hit as well?

MATT: Yeah.


MATT: Total of 19?

ASHLEY: It's critical, no--

MATT: Oh, you rolled a natural-- that's a critical!


MATT: No shit!

ASHLEY: So 27.

MATT: Okay. You don't roll the extra d6, It's just your 2d6 plus whatever. 2d6 times two, plus and an extra d6 and then your modifier.

SAM: 5d6.

ASHLEY: Let's roll this again just to see what happens. Okay, so we'll take the four. So nine total, so 18.

MATT: Mm-hmm?

ASHLEY: Plus an additional d6, which is a four. What was I on? 24?

LAURA: 22?

TALIESIN: You're at 22.

LAURA: You're at 22 points.


TRAVIS: With your modifiers.

ASHLEY: And my modifiers. What am I adding? What am I adding? (laughter) I'm sorry.

TRAVIS: Your rage and your--

ASHLEY: Plus my rage, which is an extra-- 22.


ASHLEY: Sorry.

SAM: High pressure late night math.

LAURA: 27?

ASHLEY: Yeah. That's an extra seven? No.

MATT: Oh, for the offside? You going to be plus--

ASHLEY: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

MATT: It's been a while, bear with her, folks.


TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

LAURA: ♪ It's been a while ♪

ASHLEY: 22 plus--

MATT: Your rage damage at this level is I think is plus two? Plus three? Plus three at this level, plus your strength modifier, which is plus--

ASHLEY: Three.

MATT: Three, so it's plus--

LAURA: So plus six.

ASHLEY: Okay, so 22, 28.

MATT: 28 points of damage. How do you want to do this? (cheering)

TRAVIS: Are you fucking serious?


TRAVIS: Are you serious?

MATT: Sometimes it's fucking poetic.

ASHLEY: Oh my god. Okay, I want to do something very bad.

LAURA: Do it.

ASHLEY: Okay. Is he turned away from me, or was he looking at me?

MATT: After Jester grabbed him, Beau beat the shit out of him. Fjord came around and hacked him. He's like, (groaning) keeping around, and he's looking out. He's looking for the Caedogeist to come jump in and help him turn the tide. And you see he's getting ready to glance at one of your friends who he hasn't yet to try and take their mind. And then out of the corner of his eye, he sees you approach over the shoulder.

ASHLEY: I don't know if I'll be able to do this. But I want to reach up to the top of his wings, and I want to pull them off.

MATT: Yeah. As you reach and grab, you see electrical energy (crackling) across her arms. As her eyes begin to spark with bright blue anger, she puts her foot against the back of his shoulder blades. And (cracking) he starts screaming. Tears the wings off of his back. They go scattering across the ground, spinning, spattering his dark blood across the stone. He falls to his knees-- (gasping)

ASHLEY: And then I'll take out Skin Gorger. Right through the chest.

MATT: (gasping) The blade goes in. (wheezing) You pull the blade out, and he falls to the ground. (coughing) "Angel of Irons, why have you abandoned me? I did everything you asked." All the light in the room gets darker. The actual pillar and the obelisk seems to flicker. And the shadows grow long and deep. This low vibration takes the floor.

TRAVIS: He's in a circle.

MATT: And you hear a-- (speaking Abyssal) Any of you speak Abyssal?

ASHLEY: I speak Abyssal.

LAURA: Holy shit!

MATT: You hear: “You failed, and so shall be punished." And he goes, "No, no!" The blood pouring out of his chest begins to blacken.

ASHLEY: I look him in the face, and I say: did you hear that?

MATT: The blood becomes more and more of a gush, like a waterfall. And his body begins to melt, and his face--

ALL: (groaning)

MATT: His entire corpse turns into this black, oily sludge that begins to spill out on the ground and expand, you all step back a bit as you watch it boil and roil. (slurping)

LAURA: Uh-oh, stand back, stand back!

MATT: Tendrils begin to reach out of it. You guys all step back a bit in the chamber and watch as it rises up from the black inky mess. Obann the Punished rises. A mass of black, blue, and dark, deep green tentacles and teeth and eyes, cursed now with a punished form from the Chained Oblivion.

SAM: Oh! (yelling) Oh! That's super gross!

LIAM: It just got worse?

SAM: Ew!

LAURA: Did shit just get worse?

SAM: The fuck is that?!

MATT: And that's where we'll pick up next week.

ALL: (yelling)

TALIESIN: Oh-h-h no.

SAM: It's got tongues! It's got eyes hanging off of tendrils.

TRAVIS: I ate that in Japan once.

SAM: (groaning)


TALIESIN: I don't like any of this.

MARISHA: It's like the Laughing Hand but worse.


SAM: Oh god!

MARISHA: Oh my god!

LAURA: He's the little mini-Oblivion.


MARISHA: What are we supposed to do?

MATT: So we'll pick up from there next week.

SAM: Oh boy!

LAURA: Maybe the Inevitable End will help us.


ASHLEY: Yeah, because she's free now.

TRAVIS: Maybe.

MATT: We go on break, actually, next week. Thanksgiving. So yeah. So we'll come back first week of December, and pick up this crazy chaos.

LIAM: For a very Christmas episode.

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: It's a very Thanksgiving turkducken that we get to play with.


MATT: Kinda, yeah. When you think about it.

LAURA: Oh my god!

MATT: All right, guys.

SAM: Oh man!


TRAVIS: Got to get the fuck out of here.

MARISHA: Yeah, right? We're all tapped.

LAURA: We're totally tapped.

SAM: Maybe it's friendly now?

ASHLEY: You guys are tapped.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it comes over, and it's like (slurping).

SAM: Kind of tapped.

TALIESIN: I'm on the edge of tapped.

TRAVIS: Matt, those maps were fucking amazing!

TALIESIN: Wow! It just kept going!

TRAVIS: That was so awesome.

SAM: And Ashley's back!


MARISHA: And you killed your captor!

ASHLEY: (yelling)

TRAVIS: That was fucking awesome.

MATT: Yeah. Obann is gone. This is--

LAURA: This is a whole other thing.

MATT: This is-- yeah. You watched the life leave his eyes. This is a shred of whatever remained of him being twisted and left as a final "fuck you" from Tharizdun.


MATT: And we'll deal with that in a couple weeks. In the meantime, guys, those of us in the US, have a Happy Thanksgiving. The rest of you guys, we love you anyway. But yeah, love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering) [dramatic music]