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Critical Role Wiki
Critical Role Wiki

List of Transcripts

[upbeat music]

BRIAN: My people! Welcome to Talks Machina Live at WonderCon! Give it up!


BRIAN: You guys are looking good. If you're looking at my haircut and wondering if you accidentally stumbled into the Imagine Dragons panel, you did not. The beard is in New York. I am your host for this afternoon, affordable Chris Hardwick, the internet's Brian Wayne Foster. Thank you for coming! If you guys have seen Talks Machina, you know we like to open the show with a single question. Does anyone know what it is? Are we on the internet, Denise?

DENISE: No, guys. You know we're pre-taping this for Tuesday, right?

BRIAN: I know, okay, we are not on the Internet. We will be on Tuesday.

DENISE: Yeah, uh-huh. That's correct. Uh-huh.

BRIAN: I literally just said that, Denise.

DENISE: Uh-huh, yeah, correct.

BRIAN: Moving on. No. We're going to go over a few things really fast while we wait for Sam to get here. I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. Thank you guys for waiting so long out there in line, and for coming to see us. Some of you as far away as Finland. Where are my Finland dudes at?


BRIAN: Yes! Woo! The tall guys in the front. This panel will air 7:00 Tuesday night in our normal timed slot on Geek & Sundry's Twitch and Alpha. 7:00 PM Pacific, if you guys want to watch this. If you're watching it right now, it's Tuesday. Hello. I have the night off! I'm at home drinking in the dark! Did you guys get pins when you came in? Everybody get pins? We made those specially for you guys, so hope you like them. If we see you out and about today, there's also people giving out some pin that says something about "Free Denise" or whatever. So those are some special edition ones. My grandfather used to tell me, "Brian, a lot of things in this world are free, and Denise is not one of them." We're going to try our best today to keep things as general as possible, but as always, there may be some spoilers if you are not all the way caught up on Critical Role, #sorry #blamebrian. And finally, we like on Talks Machina for most of the questions to come from you guys. So, halfway through the panel, I'm going to let you know to line up at the mics and we'll spend the second half of the panel, you guys asking questions. Do me a huge favor, do everyone else a huge favor, please just one question. Don't think we're going to have time for individual questions for each of the cast. There's still a lot of them for now. Try to limit it to one or two questions. One question for one or two cast members, if you will. And now, without further ado, I would like to introduce the cast of Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

BRIAN: Please welcome Travis Willingham! Marisha Ray! Taliesin Jaffe! Sam Riegel! Liam O'Brien! Woo! Laura motherfucking Bailey! And our fearless leader, give it up, Mr. Matthew Mercer! Give it up! My goodness.

MATT: That's a lot of people. Hi!

SAM: Brian, how's it feel? This is the most people that have or ever will see your show!

BRIAN: I would have thought it'd be a quarter of this. At least after the first week. Speaking of all these beautiful people out here, let's start by talking about the community. I'm not going to ask many individual questions, so you guys fight over who wants to answer what. Sam, make sure everyone gets a turn, please.

SAM: I can sing.

BRIAN: Let's hear it. Give us some Britney. Yeah, give us a little Britney.

SAM: Britney? (singing) You might've been hurt, babe. (normal) I don't know, is that Britney?

BRIAN: That's perfect. No, that's good. I think that's a great place to stop. So between the different portals where Critical Role is available, every week a pretty insane amount of people watch the show, unlike mine. I'm joking. I said that because Sam said that. You're watching, Mom, and that's all that matters. What's been the coolest or most surprising part about the community surrounding this show for you guys?

MATT: I'll jump in here and say that an internet space that can be a very volatile and opinionated place for people who are passionate, I'm perpetually and continually proud that this community has been so open, so accepting, and so supportive of each other that it's kind of allowed Critical Role to become so much more than just a show. The community itself has become really the driving and most important and magical thing about it to me. So that's you guys. We're talking about you!

LAURA: Oh, there I am. I've been most surprised by all of the sexy-time art.

BRIAN: All of the sexy-time art.

LAURA: That's really not surprising.

SAM: If I may, I've been recently most impressed and surprised by the babies that have been named after Liam. Several new babies are out there in the world named Liam. I'm just throwing it out there, Sam's a nice name for a boy or a girl!

MATT: So is Travis. Boy or girl.

LIAM: I like seeing the hundreds of pictures we've seen of new games that you guys are playing. A lot of people who watch the show have never played D&D, didn't know what it was when they started. We've seen hundreds of photos of people around card tables and dining room tables. It's amazing to see this game that we quietly loved on our own at home, spreading the way it is. I mean, it's been around for ages but I feel like it's really kind of setting on fire.

BRIAN: Heck yeah. So yeah. Hmm.

SAM: The golf clap.

BRIAN: A lot of people were like, I agree with what he said, but I'd like to be gentle about it. So as we're approaching nearly a hundred episodes of Critical Role, and let's see, almost probably five years of playing some of these characters?

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: What are the joys and challenges of a game versus a show, and how do you not lose one or the other?

MATT: Oh man, that's a good question.

BRIAN: He's confused by the question immediately.

MATT: As far as, like, challenges of both ways, when you have a show, especially when it's something that you do privately that's put on display, there's a difficulty of, one, waiting for an audience to set it on fire and watch the thing you love be burned to the ground. Thankfully that didn't happen!

BRIAN: That's my job, Matt.

MATT: Not yet. But I think at least, between the two, what makes shows like this and other tabletop shows and kind of what internet media is pushing for now is people that are open about their passion and are creating it for themselves as well as the audience, and not just as content to be consumed. It's an invitation to be part of it, as opposed to, "Hope you like this thing I made!" As long as we maintain that, I think we're doing okay.

TRAVIS: I think we had two solid years of playing, so we knew what our game was, we knew who our characters were. We knew how much we hate each others' guts and how irreverent we are. We don't give a shit what anybody thinks.

MARISHA: Definitely not friends.

TRAVIS: Right, that's true.

MARISHA: Not based on friends.

TRAVIS: Once we got used to the random-ass cameras being in the room, we keep doing our thing. Live shows are totally, that's another thing.

TALIESIN: That's a whole different thing.

TRAVIS: There's a lot of people out there.

MARISHA: I know. Yeah, I will say, doing the live show when I got the "How do you want to do this?" and the entire audience exploding at Gen Con? Definitely one of the top three, maybe four moments of my life. It's insane.

MATT: That is one of the weirdest things. Having this little phrase that organically started in our game rooms at home, not just on merch, but other people in thousands of games use it now. I'm like, it's exciting! I would never have thought that!

MARISHA: People have it tattooed on their bodies.

MATT: I know, I'm sorry! This was not expected!

LAURA: I have it tattooed across my lower back.

MATT: You, too?

TRAVIS: You do?!

LIAM: Sam in a random game at Laura and Travis' dining room table, putting his finger here, is now the stuff of legend.

SAM: Yeah. But we always did blame Keyleth, even at the home game.

MATT: Thanks, Keyleth.

SAM: We kept that consistent.

BRIAN: Before this goes completely off the rails in about four minutes, hey, my dad's here, guys. A lot of people recently have been talking about the connection between tabletop RPGs and social therapy. Has the show been therapeutic for you guys in any way, and if so, you know, in what ways?

TRAVIS: I mean, we drink a lot.

LIAM: You're going to put it right out there, huh?

TRAVIS: Water. We drink water a lot.

BRIAN: They're too far away to see all the liver stains on your face from all of the Goldschläger.

TALIESIN: I'll say the game is therapeutic. I don't necessarily know if broadcasting it on the internet is therapeutic. But the game is! I work things out.

MARISHA: Yeah, we work things out from the response on the internet from the week before on the game. It's like an ouroboros.

TALIESIN: It was a few weeks ago, I was with you, and I was like, man, I'm in a mood. Percy's going to do something messed up, man. Argh. I need to put it somewhere. I'm going to kill a guy. Somebody yelled at my mom three states away, grr. True story.

MARISHA: That is true, yeah.

LAURA: I think, more than anything, it's the getting to hang out with our family every single week, you know? Because getting to hang out with you guys always puts me in such a good mood, any time I'm depressed or anything like that, the minute we all get together it's so uplifting. Yeah. Wah-wah, cheesy, whatever. But it's true.

TALIESIN: It's true though, because we've all done theater. There's that family thing that happens in theater, but then there's that pre-show jitter that happens with theater. I don't get the pre-show jitter, I just get the family vibe. It's really nice.

LAURA: I fully get a pre-show jitter. Every time I'm on my way to the show, I'm like, I feel like I'm about to do a play that I know none of the lines to.

BRIAN: That's why you do a bunch of shots first.

MATT: Don't even talk about pre-show jitters to me, guys. I'm a madman for an hour before every cast. You guys see me, I don't even talk to them. They come by like, hey Matt! I'm like, go away, I'm setting things up.

LAURA: And then when Sam wasn't there, just recently, we reminded you right before the show, we were like, oh yeah! Sam's not here this week! You were like, oh, that's right! And you had to completely play Tary out of the blue.

MATT: I was like, okay, cool, that's happening! Give me more of that water, Travis!

TRAVIS: Yeah, we have rituals for that. All the profanities that we throw to you right before we go live? It's our way of going, welcome, Matt!

MATT: Yeah, that's a great little dodge and weave every week now.

LIAM: Born out of love.

MARISHA: Some people walk out to the ring with hardcore metal music. We shout profanities at our DM. That's what we do to hype ourselves up.

MATT: I don't recommend it unless-- be really good friends with your DM before you do that, please. That's when the boulder appears and crushes your character, so be careful.

MARISHA: On this entire question about therapy, we've only talked about things that people go to therapy about.

MATT: But that's also part of therapy! But no, to try and tie it back to the question--

BRIAN: Please.

TRAVIS: No, leave the question alone. It's done.

MATT: Well no, I mean, tabletop gaming, there's been a lot of studies that speak on the therapeutic benefits of the ability to create a persona that is outside of yourself, live in those shoes, and build empathy through that experience. I know I owe a lot of who I am today to playing tabletop gaming. Not only this experience forged our friendships to be as strong as they are, but it's now gone out and forged all these friendships through this community and beyond. You know, there are people I used to game with that I still keep in contact to this day from a long time ago. So it's a weird shared bond, like, going through a very intense experience together with people, except it's all up here because we're crazy. In my eyebrows. Everyone has to go into my eyebrows for the adventure.

BRIAN: He stores all the next campaign in those eyebrows.

MATT: That's what Wildemount is translated to in Dwarvish.

LIAM: I'll also say, I have one last thing to add. Before this show was a show, when it was just a game, oh boy.

MATT: Let it happen.

LIAM: I, in a very real way, hit rock bottom when this was just our game at home. Then I did it again during this show. The people you're seeing up here are the closest, outside of my own family, are my family. We're not faking it. We weren't cast. These are the closest people in my life. They helped me work through some shit on stage. It's one of the greatest gifts in my life.

BRIAN: Hell yeah.


LAURA: That got more than golf claps, Liam! Congratulations!

SAM: He's sensitive.

BRIAN: Even at WonderCon, something for Tumblr. Okay. That is all for Tumblr. Hey, where do you guys feel Vox Machina stands in their ever-evolving ability to plan and seek varying options? How do you think it's going?

LIAM: We are role models!

LAURA: We're the worst. Just the worst at planning.

TRAVIS: Man, we're Seal Team Six, shut up!

LAURA: Honestly, that's one of the hardest things about knowing that it's being broadcast, because if we were at home and we were going through this planning stage, it'd be, okay, well, we're taking our time planning, no big deal. Let's go get some snacks while we're doing it.

LIAM: Who wants another mimosa?

LAURA: Exactly, we'd be drinking mimosas, whatever. But on the show, I know that people are probably like, oh my god, just do something already!

MATT: By "people", you mean Travis?

LAURA: Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I do have that smoke rising next to me. I can feel it.

MATT: I will say, you guys have gotten better recently. I mean, moderately. Incrementally. There has been more planning. There has been more seeing alternate options before making a choice. This happened in a recent episode. So you guys are stepping, baby steps, in a good direction! Travis is already out, all right. Next question.

TALIESIN: No, but there's a fair point, also, to say, and I feel like this is true even of my home games that we played before stream, I think of-- and I know I'm going to get a list of movie titles. You think of your favorite movies and so many of them are about making a plan and executing it perfectly, and then everything going fine, and like, that's not fun. Chaos is fun! Complete lack of control is fun!

TRAVIS: You sounded like the Joker just then. That was amazing.

LIAM: We all can't wait till Travis has to play a 19-intelligence general or wizard next campaign.

MARISHA: Yeah, if you're not some type of war general planning Sun Tzu type of shit next campaign--

LAURA: It'll be great. Then we'll all know what to do.

TRAVIS: I plan to play a pigeon next. I'm going down. I'm not going up. Intelligence of six? I'm coming to three.

LAURA: He does nothing but drool the whole game.

BRIAN: To go with Matt's point about being moderately better at it, the reason the panel started late is we were in the back and then the security guy said, "The panel's right through that "door." And everybody stopped and went--

TRAVIS: Our old nemesis.

BRIAN: We've seen one of these before! Matt, tell us a little bit, mild, teeny baby mild-sauce spoilers. Tell us a little bit about devil contracts and the dangers of the Hells, where Vox Machina currently find themselves.

MATT: Well, for those who aren't familiar with the difference between devils and demons, in a nutshell, demons are an ancient chaotic force of destruction and mayhem. Devils are very organized, tyrannical structure of chaos and mayhem. Recent adventures bring them to a very dangerous place, with a lot of large-scale dangers than they're used to. They're used to single-target, localized enemies. They've stepped into a territory where everything around you for forever is bad. It's been fun to watch them squirm, I'm not going to lie. As far as contracts go, that's the bread and butter of the devils' work. That's how they gain their influence and power. I was very eager to see what the reaction was when such a contract was presented. So, without spoiling anything, I am very proud of my group. From a DM standpoint, not for you guys. I absolutely love anything you do that is a poor choice. It fills me with such joy and inspiration. But to be fair, in the Nine Hells, there is no real great choice. Everything is going to probably end up poorly. So, good luck!

BRIAN: Somebody's asking for some Lord Have Mercer in the near future.

LAURA: I have a question though. If you were good in the Nine Hells, if you did something nice, that's actually the equivalent of doing something bad?

MATT: I mean, it's not that black and white. If you did something good, people would be like, why'd you do that? Depending on who it was. We'll find out, huh?

TRAVIS: We don't plan on doing anything good.

MATT: I didn't think so.

BRIAN: Or anything well.

MARISHA: Is it kind of like a Vegas situation, like, what happens in the Nine Hells stays in the Nine Hells? If so, Spring Break '94! Cancun!

TRAVIS: Are there brothels in Hell?

LAURA: "Are there brothels in hell." Are there brothels in Hell?

MATT: You know what incubi and succubi are, guys? Grog'll maybe find out! Tune in next week!

BRIAN: Don't taunt the DM.

LAURA: You have to sign a contract in order to walk into the brothel.

MATT: What could possibly go wrong?

BRIAN: Guys, in an orderly fashion, please line up for questions if you have them. We will get to them shortly.

MATT: Where do they line up?

BRIAN: There's a mic in the center here, I see. I am blinded (singing) blinded by the light! (normal) Oh, there's a spotlight right there in the center! Okay, up next, Sam. How much fun are you having with everything going on right now? Because it looks like the answer is a lot.

SAM: With my current state of characterization? I don't want to spoil. Am I not supposed to spoil things?

BRIAN: I don't know, what do you guys think? is everyone caught up?


BRIAN: Hit them with it, Sam!

SAM: Yeah man, so I get to play, unlike everyone else on stage, a new character right now. It's so exciting and it's so fun. It was terrifying for the first two or three times, as it will be for you all when you all die. But because, like these guys said, we've been doing these characters for so long, we know them backwards and forwards, but to play a new guy is super weird. It feels like-- Well, I was going to say something really dirty and I'm not going to. There's a little placard right here that says, "Please be aware that members of your audience are underage."

BRIAN: I said the F-word in the intro.

SAM: Anyway, I feel ham-handed and weird and awesome. What am I doing? I don't know! I don't know what I'm doing, oh god! Oh god, it's happening, no! Stop it! No, it's very exhilarating, Brian, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. I don't know how long it'll last, but I'm riding it.

TALIESIN: You've definitely inspired a lot of vaguely drunk conversations about what we're going to do next, between a bunch of us. We've started talking.

LIAM: Lot of ideas. When you made your entrance and saw all of our faces, did you feel like you had walked into a seedy tavern on the wrong side of town? Like, some guy breaking a bottle and sizing you up?

SAM: You guys all had such scorn! Such hatred on your faces! I was genuinely scared you would fire me or something. I don't know. No, it was great. It made me work harder to try to convince you to let me stick around, and you did. For now.

LAURA: And then everything you did, I was like, I don't believe it.

MARISHA: Laura and I were genuinely pissed at you for a good 24 hours. Not cool.

SAM: Sorry. I trolled you guys.

MARISHA: You totally did.

BRIAN: Doesn't that character seem like the kind of guy who would have a Chumbawamba tattoo?

SAM: For sure, for sure. He was into them long before Tubthumping, though.

BRIAN: Yeah, that's true.

TALIESIN: Britney you don't know, but that, you know. Okay. Glad that's making a map right there.

BRIAN: So, this question's from me.

SAM: It's for you?

BRIAN: No, from me, man! Watch my lips when I speak! Read my lips! Noelle Stevenson was on the show this week. Special guest star, and will be back this week! Now, in almost 100 episodes of Critical Role, there have been many, many guest stars. Would you guys say this is the first Noelle?


TRAVIS: Oh my god. Boo this man!

BRIAN: I'm not apologizing. I'm not taking it back. Throw your fruit, America. Laura's face is the reason that joke made the cut. I want to hear everyone's favorite one-liners from the past 92 episodes.

LAURA: Our favorite what?

BRIAN: Like, pick out your favorite one-liner. Rapid-fire them at me.

TALIESIN: People legitimately tweet quotes at me, and my only reaction is, I said that? When did I say that?

MARISHA: Sometimes Matt will read one back and I'll be like, that's funny! Who said that? And he'll be like, you did. And I'm like, oh.

TALIESIN: I don't even know the context anymore!

MARISHA: Yeah, what was I talking about?

TRAVIS: "Your secret is safe with my indifference" is one.

TALIESIN: Thank you, I'm very proud of that one.

MARISHA: "Trust me, I have an intelligence of six. I know what I'm doing."

TALIESIN: I'm going to be a jerk. I can only think of one of my own. "Life needs things to live." I'm so glad that has weirdly-- I was so tired. I'm so pleased, thank you Sam, that has become a thing. I can never escape it ever again.

SAM: It's profound.

TALIESIN: Oh, I was so tired.

LAURA: Oh man. I liked-- oh, I can't say it, because under 18. "In the darkness, I say, 'fuck.'" I liked that one.

MATT: I mean technically, it was written, but it had a lot of impact, I think. By a good writer. When Patrick Rothfuss wrote the letter to Keyleth, the "You passed through fire," I think, was such a wonderful encapsulation of her character arc at that time.

LIAM: That guy can write!

MATT: Yeah! He should do a book! At least, a third one. Sorry, Pat!

BRIAN: There was one episode, maybe 20 episodes ago, where Matt was describing something and he's like, "There's this giant cylinder. It's almost wheel-shaped." And Sam goes, "Wheel?" That's like, yes, a wheel-shaped wheel. Why wouldn't I have just said, "a wheel"? Okay, last question from me, and then we'll go to the audience. What's something about your characters you think will never change, despite what Vox Machina ends up going through? Oh god, this guy.


BRIAN: Yeah, good answer.

MARISHA: I mean, she's always going to put her foot in her mouth at least once a week.

TRAVIS: Get arrested once a year.

MARISHA: Yeah. Hopefully, I don't think I ever want Keyleth to lose her wanderlust, her excitement for the world and her love for the world.

TALIESIN: I think the air of superiority may go. It may not. But the anger issues, I don't think are ever going away. He'll never stop pretending he doesn't have them.

LIAM: Is that in character?

TALIESIN: (Percy voice) No, yes, of course.

SAM: Poop and/or puke.

LIAM: Vax will probably always step in front of trains if he thinks it will keep the family safe.

LAURA: Aww. Urgh. Vex will probably always hold grudges. She'll always want to get naked in random situations. And she'll always love Trinket.

SAM: And Victor will have less and less digits.

MATT: I will always have multiple personality disorder. There we go, thank you.

BRIAN: Who is up first at the mic with the spotlight on it?

LAURA: In the Pikelight!

BRIAN: Hello!

SAM: Hey, Loot Crate shirt!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: So, my question is for Marisha, Taliesin, and Sam. Simple, what would you multiclass your character into if you had whatever option?

TALIESIN: Oh, current character?

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Yes, current character.

BRIAN: No, the one I'm writing for you for the next campaign. I'm writing all your new characters.

MARISHA: Barbarian.


MARISHA: Yeah. But I'm going for that Archdruid, bitches. I want that level 20!

TALIESIN: God, probably sorcerer at this point. Which I know would be a little weird, but I'd make it work. I'm not going to multiclass, but if he did, that's where it would end up.

SAM: I mean, I just asked Matt what multiclassing is, so. I don't really know how to play Dungeons and Dragons. I don't know, wizard? Is that a thing? Is wizard a thing? Okay, great.

MATT: Wizard is actually artificer-adjacent, so yeah!

SAM: Okay, good.

LIAM: Yeah, you never play. You've only played 500 hours.

SAM: As one guy! Well, two.

MATT: You're a busy man, making Duck Tales and shit. It's fine.

BRIAN: Thank you. Hey, what's your name?

JARED: Hi, I'm Jared. Hi. This question is actually for Matt. You are awesome, and I aspire to be a DM like you someday.

MATT: You are awesome, and I aspire to be you.

JARED: Thank you! So, I have watched your whole series on tips for dungeon masters. I was wondering if there was anything else that you had to tell any dungeon masters who are up and coming? Also, if maybe you're going to be on the floor to sign my Dungeon Master's Guide and bless it so that my campaign goes well?

BRIAN: Does that work, Matt? Do you hear from people that, if you've blessed a Player's Handbook, that they rule?

MATT: Yeah, dice and books before, and you know what? I feel guilty if they don't work, and if they work, I'm happy to take credit. But thank you. As far as advice goes, my first point of advice would be watch Matt Colville's YouTube channel. There's a lot I would like to say, but I don't have the time to get into the nitty-gritty, and he has such an incredible way of communicating very elaborate, detailed, and informative conversations and discussions on this topic. If you haven't seen his work, check out his videos. They're incredible. He's a dear friend and an amazing writer, so check it out. As far as blessing your book, I can bless it from here, and if you can hunt me down at some point today, we couldn't get a spot to do a signing at this convention, unfortunately. WonderCon was a little slammed. But I will send my juju from here.

SAM: I'll grab a piece of his hair for you later.

BRIAN: Yeah, we can get that cleared with the con staff. Who's up next? Step into the light! What's up?

MARCUS: Hello!

TALIESIN: White Phoenix shirt, very solid. Feeling it.

MARCUS: I'm Marcus, and my question is to Matt. I've noticed a lot of 18s and 19s failing recently while in, where they are. I'm trying to keep spoilers out. Is that due to levels scaling, or is it due to where they are?

MATT: It's due to the scaling of the entities that they're working with, and the situation involved. A DC can be set based on how difficult the challenge is. You know, if a person's like, I'm trying to stealth in a shadowy alleyway, that's going to be a pretty low DC, but if I'm going to try and stealth while standing on top of this lighthouse in broad daylight, it'll probably have a higher DC to roll a proper stealth check.

LIAM: I can do it.

MATT: He could probably pull it off. So yeah, I adjust the DC. If a person's trying to convince somebody and they make a really convincing argument, I'll lower the DC for a persuasion roll. If they really bungle it up, then I'll raise it a little higher. So yeah, it'll adjust depending. A lot of creatures that work in the place where they currently are, you know, the Hells, they thrive on deception and being paranoid. Especially in Dis. Dispater, the archdevil of where they are right now, is a very paranoid son of a bitch. That nature of always looking to see if your underlings are trying to undermine you means that if you're trying to lie, they're going to definitely have a high sense for that and be looking for that as well. So yeah. To answer your question, yes. Thank you.

BRIAN: Who's up next? I don't know why I said that so creepy.

EDDIE: You've seen me before. I was at Gen Con. I have a question for you guys. Oh, Eddie Freeman, by the way. Freeman. Free man. Eddie Freeman. My question for you is, you guys just entered Hell. As your characters, what were your first impressions and your second impressions? Of Hell?

TRAVIS: Everything's hot and it burns.

MARISHA: Kind of reminds us of the City of Brass.

TALIESIN: This is fine.

TRAVIS: The food is not that bad.

MATT: I'm going to call this to the art community. Can somebody please do an art piece of Vox Machina sitting in the City of Dis, saying communally, "This is fine." Please? Sam.

SAM: My guy's been so petrified, terrified, for the last, all of their travels together that this is nothing new. I mean, he's at a baseline of abject terror all the time.

LIAM: Temporarily thinking, one last job. Just one last job, until it all fucks up again. Oops, sorry.

SAM: Children! It's a Dungeons and Dragons term.

LAURA: I think Vex quickly realized that her normal tricks aren't working down there, and now she's at a loss. I don't know what the eff I'm supposed to say. I don't know, because none of her persuasion was working. It sucks!

MATT: Roll higher.

LAURA: Oh, it's the dice. It's totally just the dice, it's not my bumbling over words.

MATT: No, not at all.

BRIAN: Okay, it's not the dice, because if two thousand people believe one thing and one guy believes another, and he goes, all of you were wrong, I think it might be-- It's probably the dice. Who's up next? Thank you, Eddie Freeman. Good to see you, man. I love that thing.

LAURA: We still have it, yeah! We have, at our house, you gave one to Travis before, right?

BRIAN: Oh, that's cool. Who's up next?

BRENDAN: Hey guys, my name is Brendan. I'm flexing, because Travis, you're yoked as hell.

LAURA: Oh, you're wearing your Strongjaw shirt!

BRENDAN: So, thanks for the flex. Travis, this is for you. You're not ashamed of being a fan of Hamilton. Recently, Lin Manuel tweeted that he played his first game of D&D. Sorry. Who would you rather have a song of inspiration from, Scanlan or Lin Manuel?

TRAVIS: Ooh. I would require a rap battle between one Scanlan Shorthalt and one Lin Manuel Miranda. To drop some lyrical rhymes! The winner could be my inspiration maker.

MATT: I will say, now that Lin Manuel has gotten himself a little warmed up, I think it's time for him to take another crack at a different D&D game.

LAURA: That would be amazing.

MATT: No, seriously, Lin, please come play with us!

BRIAN: Get on it, Denise! Who's up next? Hey!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hello. So, Laura, you specifically, this last episode, came in with a slightly different accent. So, not to call you on it, but how do you guys in total keep your voices in check? How do you keep your voices in your head in check?

LAURA: Normally it's not that hard! I came off of an eight-hour session of recording as a South African, so it was in my brain, is all.

SAM: I don't know how Matt does it. I mean, he changes accents within sentences, sometimes.

MATT: I had a lot of time alone as a kid. I make notes. I have general notes next to certain NPCs of their vocal texture, their age, different things to get me Cliffs Notes. I try and ballpark it whenever they show up, or I make something up.

SAM: So is it like, age and a descriptor, or is it like, this one sounds like Lucky the Leprechaun?

MATT: I mean, if there is a celebrity I can attribute it to, I'll put that down. Like an Alan Rickman type, or an Orson Welles type. Usually it's like, you know, gravelly, low, basically what you'd see in any voice-over side, where it's super vague but just enough to get an idea.

LIAM: Oh, it must be a weird setlist, like, Godfried, Chocolate Rain.

MATT: Kind of, yeah. Like most of my notes, it's all Sanskrit at this point. It's only for me to read.

BRIAN: Who is up next?

JARED #2: Hi.

BRIAN: What's your name?

JARED #2: My name is Jared as well. Hi. This is a question for Matt. What's been one of your favorite experiences as a DM in the past couple of years, doing Critical Role?

MATT: Oh man. I mean, some of my favorite experiences as a DM involve having an opportunity to share what little knowledge I have with people, and learn things from other DMs. You know, as a community, D&D for a long time was whatever you could learn from your local comic shop, and maybe a forum board in the mid-2000s when that became more of a thing. So now there's this breadth of information out there, from all these different schools of running a game. For me, it's been really cool to learn from other people and try and impart what I do know, that's hopefully helpful to other people. That's been a big thing. As far as actually playing a game with these guys, I'd say probably the attack on Emon. Having a two-and-a-half-year-long plot hook that's been brewing and brewing, and get them into this place of comfort and finality, and then smash it all to pieces and watch their faces as everything they know crumples around them. That was pretty fun.

BRIAN: Who's next? Step on up to the mic!

MARISHA: Each person that walks up, it's like a reveal. Step into the spotlight!

BRIAN: Hi! Hey, what's your name?

ANTHONY: Anthony Lopez. So, my question is not really specific to anyone, but who would your greatest dream celebrity guest be?

MARISHA: Stephen Colbert.

LAURA: Oh my god, yes.

BRIAN: Scanlan Shorthalt.

SAM: He's a fun guy.

MATT: What about you guys? Anyone else?

TALIESIN: I feel like we've talked about this before, and now I'm drawing a blank, other than Lin Manuel.

SAM: It would be nice to have, like, the entire cast of Cats. I don't know. Like, in costume. I don't know. Might be fun.

MATT: As one cumulative guest? They switch out roleplaying the character?

BRIAN: And then Sam could come in dressed as Hotis from the Halloween episode and totally steal the show, obviously!

MARISHA: We have tossed into the universe that we would love to try and play with the Stranger Things kids.

MATT: And since we already got Vin Diesel, the next step obviously is Madame Judi Dench. I think she'd have fun. Since he did teach her how to play! Yeah.

BRIAN: Yeah, I've often heard, if you can get Diesel, you can get Dame Judi. Who's up next? Thank you.

TRAVIS: They package them together a lot.

SAM: One of our guests is here, by the way. Jason Miller.

BRIAN: Jason Charles Miller, raise your hand! Also did the theme song for Critical Role and Talks Machina, ladies and gentlemen! Royalty.

LAURA: You know, he's the one that wrote our opening theme song, right?

SAM: Also, Dame Judi Dench is right over there!

MATT: Hello!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hi! I mainly had a question about when you converted from your pre-show game to your live. Did anything change because you converted from Pathfinder to 5th edition, character- or story-wise?

MATT: Story-wise, no. I mean, some of the character abilities changed based on the system, but not a whole lot, thankfully.

SAM: Some of the mechanics of how it works change. We had to re-learn. We did a couple of practice sessions with Matt.

MATT: I'll tell you, Scanlan became a lot more helpful.

SAM: Yeah, for sure.

TALIESIN: We had, like, three iterations of me before I was really functional, I think.

MATT: Yeah, and then I had to completely create the 5th-edition transition for your gunslinger, but other than that.

LAURA: I almost switched. When we switched over to 5th edition, there was that alternate path for ranger that I feel is actually way cooler than the beastmaster. Yeah, that's why you home-brewed so much of it, and it was awesome. But it was like, Trinket. What am I going to do? I have to have Trinket, he's Trinket! So I stuck with it.

SAM: You could leave the bear. Leave the bear behind.

LAURA: Leave Doty. How about you just leave Doty?

SAM: Doty works.

LAURA: Doty stands around and he's heavy and he's slow.

SAM: And he writes my every word! Wouldn't you want that in real life? Wouldn't you want a guy right behind you all the time?

TALIESIN: I will admit, I really like Matt's Doty-face.

LAURA: Yeah, it is really great.

TALIESIN: It's like a cartoon bird.

MATT: Thank you very much.

BRIAN: Who's next?

TRAVIS: Step into the light!

LAURA: (gasps) Fun buns!

BRIAN: Hey, what's your name?

DIANE: I'm Diane.

LAURA: Oh wait, those are ears. They look like fun buns from up here.

DIANE: No, they're ears. My question is to the panel. Has Matt always been this sadistic, or is he really working at it?

MATT and LAURA: Always.

BRIAN: That is a great question.

SAM: He's been really bad lately, but at the beginning of the game, he was very supportive and he wanted us to enjoy. He's like a dealer, right? He hooks you with some easy kills, and then slips you the hard stuff. Then he's got you.

MATT: There has to be, you know, ebb and flow. There has to be some encounters that are relatively not as challenging so you can really enjoy the power that you've acquired as a character. Then there have to be challenges along the way to make you feel like it's a terrible, difficult circumstance. Yeah.

LIAM: Matt is generally one of the kindest people I've ever met, but those quiet waters run deep, man. You don't know what's under the surface. (hums Jaws theme)

MARISHA: Having the entire party strung up on a tree in Whitestone, that's when I was like, "Who are you? Who am I sleeping next to every night? Oh god!"

MATT: Hi. I have a love for gothic horror, I'm sorry!

MARISHA: What do you dream?

MATT: I dream of trees.

BRIAN: We should move on before this engagement falls apart. Thank you very much. Before our very eyes! How was WonderCon? Well, we saw the breakup of an engagement. Who's next?

LIAM: I had it too, though. When Gilmore shanked Vax, in my mind, I was like, "How dare you! How dare you!"

MATT: There was a reason.

MARISHA: And this past game, you punished Travis for using big words!

MATT: Because it was funny! And Travis agrees!

TRAVIS: Yeah, I caught that. I did it right at the same time, I was like, "Agh! It hurts!"

BRIAN: Hey, what's your name?

KYRIE: I'm Kyrie. Hi! My question was for Matt. What's your favorite mini that you've used in the game so far? Marisha, does he sit on the floor at home going, "Grr! Argh!" with them?

MARISHA: Sometimes. Not lying. Every time he gets a new Dwarven Forge set, he plays house.

BRIAN: Periscope! Periscope!

MATT: It's practicing and rehearsing and learning techniques for the show, guys! That's totally it! No, to be fair, for a good ten years since they first announced it, and I couldn't afford it, I've always looked at a distance from the colossal red dragon mini. The colossal mini. Just could never get it. When you guys, as a community, sent two of them? It was like a long-time Christmas coming that finally arrived. Those are centerpieces that I'm still proud of to this day. Then somebody sent me a painted Tarrasque that's just waiting for the day that it gets to be unleashed! That's pretty fun too. That's going to be good.


BRIAN: Hard pass from Travis on that.

MATT: So yeah, definitely probably those two. Thank you.

BRIAN: Who is up next? Yeah! Hey, what's your name?

SEAN: Sean. Hi. I wanted to start with a little, Matt and Liam, you inspired me to be a DM. Laura, Marisha, and Ashley, you are three of my greatest female role models, even though Ashley's not here. Sam and Taliesin, you significantly improved my wit, and Travis, I've started working out. I swear. My question is, when Tary's book is finally released, like Volo and Elminster did, will Vox Machina release an annotated copy?

SAM: Did he say when Tary dies? Oh. Will I write one in real life, is that the question?

LAURA: No, the question is will Vox Machina release a second one with the truth.

SAM: Sorry, I was really not listening at all. I actually sat down the other night to maybe write a little bit of a book.

MATT: Do it, that'd be awesome!

SAM: Yeah, I really did. I don't know what's going to happen.

MATT: That'd be a lot of fun! Would you guys like to see that?


SAM: I don't know. I will see how far I get. We'll release it and they can all annotate it and cross stuff out.

MATT: Oh my god, that'd be so funny to see everything from his perspective. Good suggestion.

BRIAN: All right, who's up now?

LAURA: Oh, I see a costume.

BRIAN: What's your name?

JOEL: I'm Joel. Favorite magical item?

MATT: Favorite magical item?

TRAVIS: Deck of Many Things!

LAURA: Broom of Flying!

MARISHA: I'm a little partial to the Dust of Tracelessness, just because then I get to hear Travis say, "I do the Dust of Tracelessness with my flower girl routine."

TALIESIN: I like the milk/water/mayonnaise jar.

MATT: The Alchemical Jug?

LIAM: Grog with the Bag of Holding has brought us so much joy.

MARISHA: Basically all the things Grog has. All of Grog's stuff.

LAURA: The amount of dried poo that's probably floating around in the Bag of Holding.

LIAM: The worst dimension ever.

MATT: The Grog dimension.

TRAVIS: What you fools haven't realized is that I have amassed all the magical power in the universe. I'm going to kill all of you.

BRIAN: He's turned into Thanos.

TRAVIS: I'm going to hot-glue it all to an oven mitt and be like, I am now the strongest in the world!

LAURA: The greatest part is how detailed Travis's list is for the Bag of Holding. I mean, it is like, from the beginning of our game, every single thing written down in there.

TALIESIN: That Asmodeus ring, that was a deep cut, man.

TRAVIS: We got dried poo in that bag.

LAURA: That's what I'm saying, I know there is dried poo in there.

TRAVIS: Yeah, there's like three pieces in there. You know, some people collect sand from different beaches? I got to take poop.

BRIAN: Some people collect poop from different bitches. Who's up next?

MATT: My answer, real fast, to that, because I feel it needs a mention, is Craven Edge. Just because the Grog interactions were so much fun.

BRIAN: Yes, look at this! What's your name?

LAURA: Oh my god! You look beautiful!

CHRISTINA: Hi guys, my name's Christina. So, I have a question for Taliesin and Matt, actually. With Percival's love of these demon deals, and Matt's newfound love of demon litigation with that contract, in the Hells, can we expect a sort of version of soul claims court at this point? Over Percy's soul?

SAM: The people's court.

TALIESIN: Some sort of soul litigation?

MATT: I guess we'll have to find out. I mean, it depends on whether or not the first person the deal was made with still exists, and if it does-- And there is actually a place in the Hells for people that are contesting contracts. There is a pit fiend, Baatezu, who is there as the judge that is part of the process of you trying to appeal your contract when your soul arrives. Usually goes poorly anyway, but there are a few that get off. It's kind of fun.

LIAM: Sounds like Hell within a Hell.

TALIESIN: Do a little Faust play. Mephistopheles.

MATT: I guess we'll see, if you take the other pacts. Or break this one.

TALIESIN: I'm a little worried. I don't know, Hell makes me very nervous right now, I've got to admit. I'm a little nervous.

TRAVIS: Nah, you're fine.

MARISHA: Remember, this is fine.

BRIAN: Great question, even better costume. And it lights up? The bow lights up? Hell yeah! Somebody get you a prize. We've got time for two more. Let's move quick, so we can get them in. Hey, what's your name?

ASHLEY: Hi, I'm Ashley. So, in the earlier parts of the show, you guys were given the jerky that had a very specific smell. We have our own homemade jerky that we would like to give to you. I'm wondering what would be the best route to get it to you.

TRAVIS: Just throw it from where you are.

LIAM: Said the woman covered in blood?

SAM: So you, a stranger covered in blood, want to give us raw meat? Okay.

TALIESIN: I usually only accept meat from friends covered in blood.

MARISHA: There are a few Geek & Sundry reps that are watching right now. They'll come up, like Eddie over here who's waving his hands, or Chris who's walking toward you in a very dedicated manner. Talk to one of them, they'll help you out.

BRIAN: Okay, last question. Sorry guys. Who's up last?

AUDIENCE MEMBER: My question is for Sam. What is Scanlan doing right now in the story? What do you think he'd be doing right now?

SAM: What is he doing right now? That is a good question. Me and Matt are going to meet this week to figure that out. I could go one of two ways. He's either in a gutter somewhere sort of blitzed out of his mind with children peeing on him, or he has killed two people in a casino somewhere and is being showered in gold. That's it.

BRIAN: Thank you guys for asking questions! Thank you for waiting in line so long! Thank you for coming! I would like to thank my guests! Cravitz Fillinghand. Mariska Haritray. Owl-skin Taffy. Jean-Claude van Sam Fecal. Mausoleum Robe Tie-In. Fedora, Maybe? And our fearless leader, the one and only Path Traverser. Give it up for the cast of Critical Role! Don't forget to love each other, and it's almost kind of Thursday! We love you guys, thank you!

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