Critical Role Wiki

This wiki contains spoilers for the entirety of Critical Role and The Legend of Vox Machina. Proceed at your own risk!

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Instructions

To add a quotation to the list, edit this page.  Start a new line in the quotations section and type three plus symbols, followed by the quotation, followed by three regular keyboard hyphens, followed by the source.  Wikimarkup, {{ep ref}}s, and other templates are allowed in both the quote and the source.  A simple example would be:

+++I would like to rage.
---Travis Willingham{{ep ref|ep=1x01|1:11:11}}


For more information on how to use quotations, see:

  • {{quotebox}} for the floating quotation boxes;
  • {{quote multi}} for dialogue or multiline quotations (which can be used in quoteboxes or articles); and
  • {{quote list}} (ideal for episode and character pages).

Quotations in This List[]

It was crazy in there! People were farting everywhere—it was not me. They're building a throne room, there was some locked doors—man I wish you could have been there! It was exciting but ultimately pointless, so let's go down to the mines!
– 
Zahra:  "Scanlan, are most of your attacks up close or are they far?"
Scanlan:  "I've got a wide range; I like to keep people guessing. It's sort of my thing."
Lyra:  "But we wouldn't really want you within claw damage."
Scanlan:  "I wouldn't want that either."
– 
top

Tags:  Scanlan discussing his role in the party.[2]
We're Vox Machina, a traveling band of adventurers led by me, Scanlan Shorthalt, and these are my compatriots. We're on a very important mission to get—Uh, what are we doing again?
– 
Scanlan Shorthalt[3]

Tags:  top,voxmachina
Vax'ildan:  "Do you want to shove it in the hole?"
Scanlan:  "You realize that I was born to shove things in holes?"
– 
from "A Name Is Earned" (1x49)[4]

Tags:  top
Have you heard the legend of Shale?
One eye, elderly, frail.
To a black dragon, she told,
"You may be ancient, but I'm old!"
And somehow lived to tell the tale.
– 
Inspiration by Scanlan Shorthalt[5]

Tags:  inspiration,shale
Scanlan, to Kaylie:  "I'm so happy that you are alive and safe, and I came a great distance to do other things, but mainly to see you, and I just wanted to say a few things before I go off to complete my mission. Well, you know, I know I'm not the father that you wanted, but I'm the father that you have, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I've been doing a lot of thinking about you, and me, and where I fit in to the life of a family man. Most of my adult life, I've been longing for a gnome to care for, and I met a really good one, and she's here and her name's Pike, and she's beautiful and wonderful and possibly my soulmate, but I've learned that she's not my family and never will be. You're the gnome that I'm to care for forever, and I'm doing something very stupid now with my friends. We're gonna try to save the world. And I didn't know why, but now I know, and if we die doing it, it will be for a good thing, and if we don't, then, well, I'll find you, and I'll be whatever kind of father you need me to be. One who's close and helpful—"
[Kaylie reaches out with her finger to shush Scanlan, tears gathering in the edges of her eyes]
Kaylie:  "Don't you die. You stay alive."
Scanlan:  "I don't intend to, but you know, I was just inside a—"
Kaylie:  "Yer not... going... ta die. Yer gonna go do yer stupid world-saving mission like ya told me, and yer gonna come back, and we're gonna have a lot ta talk about."
Scanlan:  "Alright."
Kaylie:  "Alright. Can you do that for me?"
Scanlan:  "I promise you. I promise you."
Kaylie:  "I'll hold you to that."
Scanlan:  "Well, you do the same, all right? Stay safe. I got you a present. It's a ring. It's a beautiful ring because you're a beautiful girl, and I'd like you to keep it."
Kaylie:  [taking the ring]] "Are you sure this wasn't for someone else?"
Scanlan:  "No. Never."
[Kaylie puts the ring on her finger]
Scanlan:  "And you're also strong, and you'll need this sword." [Scanlan gives Kaylie his Singing Dawnblade] "This sword has killed a king, which makes it almost worthy enough for you, and I hope that it keeps you safe until I can see you again."
Kaylie:  "I don't know what ta say. I'll start with, 'Thank you.' Well, I feel pretty well-protected."
Scanlan:  "Okay. Get out of here. If you can, try to make your way to Vasselheim. There's three more dragons, and it'll be a while before I kill them all."
Kaylie:  "I don't know, you've done quite a bit of work in even just these past few weeks. Vasselheim... I'll talk it over with the doctor; see what he's interested in." [pausing, then point a stern finger at Scanlan] "You promised."
Scanlan:  "Gnome's honor"
Kaylie:  [grabs Scanlan's shirt and kisses him on the forehead, then pushes him away] "Now out of my fucking face!"
– 
Scanlan and Kaylie[6]

Tags:  ScanlanKaylieRelationship001,scanlan,kaylie
Come on, come on, get your Scanlan on.
It's Thursday night, and it won't be long.
Gonna play my flute, gonna play my shawm.
It's Thursday night, and it won't be long

'Til I get your health up,
Get your health up!
I got all you need.
No, I don't shoot bows,
I don't swing swords,
But damn, I can sing!
– 
Scanlan's Healing Word for Percy[7]
(based on "Cheap Thrills" by Sia)

Tags:  top,healingword
'Life needs things to live.' That's it. That's the whole quote. From earlier tonight. Percival von Fredericksteen von Rolo de Frankenstein de Rolo. Credit where credit is due.
– 
Scanlan's Healing Word for Vex'ahlia[8]

Tags:  top,healingword,percy
Oi! You fobbing, elf-skinned flap-dragon! You paunchy, ill-breeding lewdster! You unmuzzled, reeling, ripe mumble-news!
– 
Scanlan's Cutting Words against Saundor[9]
(based on a Shakespearean insult generator)

Tags:  top,cuttingwords
I'm giving you everything,
All the health I bring, this is true.
And, all I want from you
Is the promise you'll
Kiss me forever.

I'm (I'm) giving you everything,
All the health I bring...
– 
Scanlan's Healing Word for Vex'ahlia[10]
(based on "Say You'll Be There" by Spice Girls)

Tags:  top,healingword

Reflist[]

  1. See "Arrival at Kraghammer" (1x01) at 2:03:31.
  2. See "Trial of the Take: Part 2" (1x19) from 1:16:55 through 1:17:11.
  3. See "Cindergrove Revisited" (1x46) at 0:27:46.
  4. See "A Name Is Earned" (1x49) at 3:20:10.
  5. See "Hope" (1x56) at 2:34:57.
  6. See "Hope" (1x56) from 3:21:30 through 3:25:39.
  7. See "The Echo Tree" (1x63) at 2:30:00.
  8. See "The Echo Tree" (1x63) at 3:00:44.
  9. See "The Echo Tree" (1x63) at 3:16:53.
  10. See "The Echo Tree" (1x63) at 3:23:03.

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