List of Transcripts


MATT: Welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.


MATT: Before we get into tonight's story, welcome. We have some quick announcements to do. First off, we have two fantastic sponsors for the evening. Returning for the second week for the newly released game, Far Cry 5.


TRAVIS: So good.

MATT: It's out for PS4, Xbox One, and PC. The latest installment of Far Cry, if you guys aren't familiar with it, is set in the fictional Hope County, Montana, where a fanatical doomsday cult known as the Project at Eden's Gate has taken control. If you are playing it or plan to play it, you'll probably hear me and Marisha somewhere in that cult, I'm sure, or scattered in the game at some point.

TRAVIS: You're cultists?

LAURA: I've always known that about you.

MARISHA: It's my true destiny, yeah.

MATT: I got to work on my Montana for that one. It was fun. It strangely is. Sorry, Montana. Grab your sidekick, train your dog, and fight against Eden's Gate in the most Far Cry way possible, which is with extreme force, so pick up a copy today. Hope you enjoy.

TRAVIS: The prologue is so good it is currently encompassing Brian Wayne Foster's life.

MATT: This game is a lot of people's lives. I've watched people vanish over the past couple days.

LIAM: Raving about it. It's only been out for five seconds, and everyone's gaga.

MATT: Yeah. Jess Black in the game is voiced by our friend of the show Julie Nathanson. She is amazing and you should enjoy her work in there as well. That's our first sponsor for the night. Our second sponsor and our continuous sponsor for this new campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond.


SAM: Here to talk to you about D&D Beyond is a returning friend of the show.


MATT: No! No, why?

SAM: Bonzai, wave hogs and hog-ettes, it's Brody Slater, king of the kick-flip, jamming about the froobs at D&D Beyond. You all know I love letting my leash out on maxed shore breaks at Steamer Lane. Real bang! When I'm not flashing the shaka at some quimby on a softboard, I'm chillaxing with my buds with some gnarly roleplaying games. Now, I'm partial to Dead Earth, Empire of Satanis, and F.A.T.A.L.-- slotted!-- but my broheims are hooked on fifth edition, which means I get stoked for D&D Beyond. If there's one thing Brody Slater loves more than shacked eskimo rolls, it's diligent organization. Right now, you can go to D&D Beyond's Facebook page and leave a comment on their top (stammers) pinned post, telling them your favorite moment for episode 11 of Critical Role to be entered to win a legendary bundle. Far out! So don't be a Benny Poser, head on over to D&D Beyond and enter now. Hang 11!

(cheering and clapping)

LAURA: Wait, leave it on, because you kind of look like Estelle Getty.


MATT: If Shakäste comes back later on, you can play his spiritual weapon.

LIAM: That made me uncomfortable so fast.

MATT: The character didn't click until he said he played F.A.T.A.L., and then I was, oh, I know who this is now.

SAM: I don't even know what that is, I looked it up.

MATT: Don't. It's awful. It's the worst.

TRAVIS: Is that the third time we've had him? In our lifetime?

SAM: Fan favorite. And by fan, I mean me.


MATT: Thank you, Sam.

SAM: I'm a fan of my own character.

TRAVIS: Like Halley's Comet, you always come around.

MATT: Thank you, Sam, and thank you to D&D Beyond for being awesome supporters of the show. A couple quick things after that. First off, reminding you guys about Twitch Prime. If you have an Amazon Prime account, you can connect it to your Twitch account, and every month you can subscribe for free to a channel of your choice. Whether that'd be us or anybody else you'd want to show some love to, costs you nothing and it's pretty awesome, so do it if you haven't. If you need a recap for campaign two, we're doing our Critical Recap episodes now with our fantastic Dani Carr, who is doing succinct updates and reminders for things that have happened in the campaign, or if you've missed something and don't have the time and want to watch live, you can watch Critical Recap and be right ready to go when you’re here on Thursday.

LAURA: Right ready to go.

TALIESIN: Right ready.

MATT: Talks Machina, of course, is every Tuesday evening. We just had our WonderCon panel that we did this past Sunday on Tuesday night for Talks, and it's online. You can go watch it on Youtube now. Again, Geek and Sundry Youtube, should be up there to watch it. But the episode of Talks for tonight's episode will be next Tuesday at 7pm Pacific with our fantastic host Brian W. Foster. Please come join those of us who will be here, and enjoy.

LAURA: My mom called me today, and she's like, “I'm watching you in the WonderCon panel.” I was like, oh no. What did I say?


TRAVIS: I think your language was actually pretty good.

LAURA: Was it?


MATT: We kind of had to. Yeah, on the back of the name cards, it says, “Please don't ever say bad words.”

TRAVIS: We still dropped a few.

MATT: Yeah. I mean, we're only human.

MARISHA: We do our best.

MATT: True. Most of us. Except for Taliesin.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: The podcast of last week's episode, episode 11, is available for download, so if you listen to the show audibly or have friends who do, they can download it now, where finest podcasts can be downloaded. C2E2 is coming up! Not this weekend, but the weekend after, in Chicago. We're all going to be there. We have panels, signings, all of the information is up on the website now. You can find it on the Geek and Sundry Twitter or the Critical Role Twitter if you're wondering what is happening and where to go. We'd love to see you. Please come and be a part of the crazy convention. It's probably going to be pretty crazy.

SAM: Is it?

MATT: It's pretty big and there’s a lot of people going.

TRAVIS: Chicago is a tiny town, though. There's not really a lot that's there. It's a couple trains or little puddle-jumper flights to get there.

LIAM: Are you pre-rolling your god damn dice now?

TRAVIS: It was one roll!

LAURA: It's true love, baby.

MARISHA: There was definitely more than one. It was at least two or three.

MATT: We're watching you like a hawk now, man.

TRAVIS: Never again.

MATT: Also, our fantastic friends at 826 and 826LA; they're a great charity. They do wonderful stuff for children in creative writing. Please go ahead and check out what they do, see if you can help support it or actually be a volunteer if a chapter is near you, so check it out. We love them and you should do so too. I don't think we have any new merch per se other than just the reminder, you have that wonderful shirt.

LAURA: Oh, this shirt?!

MATT: It looks good on you even when you're preggers.

LAURA: Thank you.

SAM: Even better.

LAURA: This is our first maternity shirt.

MATT: Officially. Unless we have anything else to say, I believe that gets us caught up and ready to dive into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

[click, TV static]

[groovy Critical Role theme]

Part IEdit

MATT: Hello and welcome back. Last we left off, the Mighty Nein had gotten in bed with a rebel group who had been meeting in the interior of Zadash. Unhappy with some members of the local government of this city, they had been trying to discover a way they could discredit some of the corrupt individuals that have been causing some strife in this city to some of the locals. You had met some of these individuals a few times to discover that there is an End of Harvest Gala that was arriving fairly soon. That was going to be a distraction period to allow them to infiltrate the abodes of two individuals in particular: Lord Sutan and the High-Richter Prucine. You discussed with them last time a plot, fixing their not-very-well-put-together plot into a better direction, thankfully.

TRAVIS: We're all fucked.

MATT: --to acquire a wax seal within the home of Lord Sutan to create a letter that you feel would be incriminating, then to infiltrate the High-Richter's home, do the same, and then report them to the lawmaster, or whoever else you'd think would be of higher estate. This is transpiring tomorrow evening. Where we last left off, it was later in the afternoon after your final discussion. You guys have a day to prepare however you wish to.

SAM: A whole day?

LAURA: Well, half a day, and then a whole other day.

MATT: Mighty Nein, what would you like to do?

TRAVIS: What's the lawmaster's name?

MARISHA: Dayana Prucine

MATT: That's the High-Richter.

MARISHA: Oh, Orentha.

LAURA: Where are we right now?

MATT: Right now, you guys have just finished meeting with the other members of the Knights of Requital in--

TRAVIS: At the Song and Supper Inn

MATT: Song and Supper, yes.

TALIESIN: Previously known as the Knights of Requital.

EVERYBODY: Right, yes.

MATT: No longer.

TRAVIS: We’ve got to figure out where fucking Lord Sutan is, right? We don't have any eyes on that location.

MARISHA: I think it might also be smart to see if we can drum up any type of handwriting samples for possibly both the Lord Sutan and the High-Richter, so we can more convincingly forge documents.

TALIESIN: We have Book Boy, too, he could probably tell if they're the same or not with his--

MARISHA: With his brain.

TALIESIN: With his brain.

MARISHA: With his head.

TALIESIN: Yes. Well, the eyes in it, yes.

LAURA: Wait, what did you say? I wasn't listening.

SAM: (groans)

LAURA: There was a spiderweb in the corner of the room and it's really pretty.

MARISHA: You're good at forging, right?

LAURA: Yes, I am! Why do you ask?

MARISHA: We have to get some handwriting samples, right? Of the Lord and the High-Richter, that way we can write letters, make it seem like they're--

LAURA: Yes, I’m very good at writing letters.

TRAVIS: Where would we find something that's handwritten?

SAM: Maybe on the job board at that place.

TRAVIS: Would that come from them, you think?

SAM: I don't know.

LIAM: They might have some sort of edict written by Prucine.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we didn't really check to see if they had signed any of them, did they?

TALIESIN: We had them, would we have noticed if they were hand-signed or if they’d been printed?

MATT: At the job postings you had seen on the task board outside of the King's Hall, they were handwritten, but they all had been written by the Herald of the Hall. He was the one who was handling most of the jobs that were being distributed. Whatever information comes to him, he's the one who posts them, it seems.

LAURA: Well, I guess we we’ll just have to find a letter within their house, and then I can forge it right away.

SAM: On the spot? How fast a forger are you?

LAURA: I'm a really quick thinker and I'm also a pretty fast writer.

SAM: Here, let's test you. I'm going to write down, "Oh, what a goose I am." Copy my handwriting.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: It's pretty good.


MATT: I was going to make you roll for it, but no, you got this.

MARISHA: Nott, I think we’re going to need you to both break in the house and also maybe into some safe that they have in there.

SAM: Me?

MARISHA: Yeah, you're good at lockpicking.

SAM: Okay. Will I be in there alone?

MARISHA: No, we’ll be with you.

LIAM: We will decide who goes in. I also want to discuss what exactly we are going to forge before we go in, because the plan that they laid out for us was not good.

MARISHA: You can say it.

LIAM: *Scheisse* is a word for it, but they talked about making it look like Sutan had broken into Prucine's home and rolled it. I don't know what effect that would have on her, so I think maybe we hatch some sort of conspiracy between the two of them to assassinate Orentha, so we will go to Sutan's house and we will leave--

SAM: I’m drinking.

MARISHA: Nott, what was the last thing Caleb said?

TRAVIS: What did he just say?

SAM: I always listen to Caleb, he's my right-hand man.

MARISHA: What did he say?

SAM: Poutine.

MARISHA: That’s not what he said, but that is delicious and now I want some.

LIAM: Follow me please, for a moment. We have to do our homework first, but after we do homework, we go to Sutan's, we find this seal, we hold onto it. We leave fake communication that you will write that is from the High-Richter, calling for a hit.

LAURA: But how will we leave something from the High-Richter if I don't know actually what her handwriting looks like yet?

TRAVIS: I was thinking, do they have post here in this city? Someone that comes and picks up mail? Could we jack some of her fucking outgoing mail?

LIAM: You have stolen mail.

MARISHA: I have.

LIAM: You can do it again.

SAM: You're proficient in mail fraud.

MARISHA: I'm definitely proficient in mail fraud.

TRAVIS: What time is it?

MATT: It's later afternoon.

TRAVIS: What's the exact time? No, I'm just kidding.

MATT: Don't pull a Liam.

MARISHA: There would be a public record somewhere, right?

LAURA: A public record of her handwriting?

SAM: Well, if she’s issued any sort of royal, official things, yeah, there should be some sort of record.

LAURA: She is a judge after all, right?

MARISHA: And generally those public records tend to need to be open for--

TALIESIN: These are the most intense public officials I've ever attempted to swindle, so I'm not entirely sure what we do at this level.

MARISHA: Well, I will say, worst case scenario, we don't necessarily need to match her handwriting, but some type of coding, potentially linked back to her. We can almost mimic it. People who are doing sneaky things never use their real handwriting.

TALIESIN: Leave a mark on a tree, etc. if you agree to these terms, and then we leave a mark on a tree, similar sort of thing.

MARISHA: Sure. Maybe some accounts of the Myriad.

TALIESIN: A bag of gold in a trash receptacle.

TRAVIS: What the fuck are you talking about?

SAM: We're leaving a bag of gold in a trash receptacle?

TALIESIN: I'm saying that there's nothing to commit proof other than money actually exchanging hands. We used money for these things all the time back in my day. So if that letter asks for some sort of assurance or some sort of money to be placed: "Please hire a couple people, you can leave some money in this location for them," and if they find that money, then they know they actually consented and agreed to this whole argument.

LAURA: This is very complicated.

SAM: Extremely.

TALIESIN: It isn't that complicated.

TRAVIS: What if we divide our forces for now and try to find that handwriting sample? One of us goes and looks for the post, the other one tries to find those public records.

LAURA: What if I go find the High-Richter and ask for her autograph?

SAM: Like you'd be a fan?

LAURA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: I don't know if Richters have fans.

TRAVIS: Yeah, she was kind of unpleasant.

LAURA: Really?

TRAVIS: Yeah, she wasn't really about that fan life.

LIAM: Did not care about your buttons.

LAURA: That’s right. She was vain.

LIAM: The goal to be that we leave something in Sutan's house that would make it seem that the High-Richter has ordered a hit on Orentha and we leave something behind in Sutan's house: fake communications with the Myriad. So we tie Sutan to the Myriad, we tie Sutan to Richter, and then at Richter's house, we leave forged documents, we have a letter from Sutan with the seal, and also we leave communication with the Knights, whatsit--

MARISHA: --of Requital. Where I thought you were going, Molly, which isn't a bad idea to leave some sort of money trail, is leave a certain amount of money with any type of paperwork that might also be mentioned in a document in the adjacent house. So paranoid rich people are always paranoid rich people, right? So they always have these safes filled with documents.

LAURA: Oh yes, we had one of those at our house.

MARISHA: Were you guys paranoid?

LAURA: Well, no, we just had a lot of secrets.



TALIESIN: I'm baffled by the notion of building a box inside of a larger box inside of a larger box to hold papers, but fine.

SAM: Step one is: find documents. This is the most exciting thing we’ve ever done.

MARISHA: We also need to find where Lord Sutan lives.

SAM: Oh! So find addresses and documents!

MARISHA: Correct.

SAM: Ooh! Cue the music.

LAURA: I bet that the people in the Knights-- previously Knights-- they would know where Lord Sutan lives.

MARISHA: They might even have some sort of documentation or record. Remember Dolan was saying that they got ousted from their practice because of this Lord Sutan. Maybe they already have a paper trail.

LAURA: Don't we know where Dolan lives?

MARISHA: We do. Nott tracked them.

SAM: I do. I saw their home? He lived--

LAURA: Oh, yes. Harold? Horris.

LIAM: Also, they will put out of businesses, if possible, they have some sort of paperwork that would come from the desk of the High-Richter.

TRAVIS: Possibly, but if we go by there, we can't be seen.

LAURA: We can't be seen. We'd have to be in disguise, or one of us.

TRAVIS: Or knock on the back door, if such a thing exists.

TALIESIN: Let's start by talking to our friends before we start investigating our allies.

LAURA: Yes. Let's go that way.

MARISHA: Do we have any--

LAURA: Go get him, monk.

MARISHA: That's going to be really cool when I can do that. Really cool. Catch a fly. Anyway, moving on, that was me.

LAURA: Should we go to Dolan's house?

SAM: All of us?

TRAVIS: Is that how we want to find Lord Sutan's address?

LAURA: Maybe the Richter's handwriting, too.

MARISHA: I wonder if we can track down Ulog.

TRAVIS: That seems like a good idea.

SAM: One thing at a time.

LIAM: That's another thing-- and we can table this-- but there is also the possibility that this is all just a honey trap, and that we’re being drawn in for as big a fish than the Knights are themselves.

MARISHA: You think we're big fish?

LIAM: Well, I think that they think they are looking for potentially big fish. I'm not saying that we are big fish. But we might be walking into a trap, so eyes on a swivel, is all I’m saying.

TRAVIS: So you're saying Ulog probably is in trouble and is going to roll over on us in order to get something taken off of him.

LIAM: Potentially, or any of them. Ulog seems the shiftiest, but that doesn't mean that he would necessarily be--

LAURA: Ulog’s probably listening to us right now.

TRAVIS: To Dolan's, then.

SAM: All of us? All right, let's go.

MATT: All right. You guys make your way, following Nott, who had previously trailed Dolan to the home, and you eventually find your way to the outskirts of a very simple-- it’s a hovel, but only because it's been in disuse for a while. There is a single front door, it looks to be a two-chamber home, with one large central main living space and one bedroom in the back. The roof itself is made of heavily pressed-together thatch and stick. As soon as you approach, you can see that the front door is closed, and you see a little bit of movement through the window, someone walking around.

SAM: Who wants to go knocky-knocky?

LAURA: We shouldn't be seen with them.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you said there's no back door, right? Side windows, anything like that?

SAM: No, I just saw a window and a door. Right?

MATT: From what you saw, yeah.

TRAVIS: Well, it should be one of the three of us, because that's who they'll know.

LIAM: You two have been speaking to them the longest.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Go do it, Fjord.

LIAM: You are a good talker, Fjord.


SAM: In disguise or as is?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm going to fucking change it up. Is there a little alley that I can pop into before I head over to his place of residence?

MATT: Yeah, two buildings over, you look off to the side and there's a small alcove of shade where you could probably pop in quickly and dispense a spell without it causing any ruckus.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I cast Disguise Self and I turn back into that-- black cloak with gold trim, the long black hair--

MATT: The same figure you brought to the High-Richter's?

TRAVIS: That's right.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I tie my robe.

MATT: Okay.


MARISHA: It's all I've got.

MATT: Doesn't take a spell slot.

LAURA: You're not going up there with him, right? Because he's in disguise now. You look the same, Beau.

TRAVIS: Yeah, if you look like you--

MARISHA: No, I got that. Yeah.

TRAVIS: We don't want to have them see us going over there.

MARISHA: Okay, well then you go.

TRAVIS: Cool. All right.

MARISHA: Feel free to give me like a--

TRAVIS: Oh, what's the sign?

LAURA: (screeching bird call)

LIAM: No, that's not it.

TRAVIS: A peacock?

LAURA: I thought that was a hawk.

SAM: (pigeon cooing)

TRAVIS: Was that supposed to be a hawk? A pigeon? (pigeon cooing)

SAM: (pigeon cooing)

TRAVIS: Fair enough, it's a pigeon. A feral pigeon.

MARISHA: I'll listen for the pigeon.

LIAM: A peacock is a fancy pet.

SAM: What are we signaling for?

TRAVIS: If there's trouble.

LAURA and SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: All right.

MARISHA: There's a signal, we have one.

TRAVIS: I walk over to Dolan's house.

MATT: All right. Knock on the door?

LIAM: What happens if a pigeon goes by?


SAM: A flock of pigeons come down.

LIAM: (spell noises)

MATT: All right. As you knock on the door, there's a pause, and you see out of the corner of the window, the edge of a face peek out there, and then disappear behind, and a voice goes, "Who is it?"

TRAVIS: Yes, it is-- I bring word from the Mighty Nein. May I come in, please?

MATT: You hear some rustling, some unlocking process, and the door opens up and you can see Horris opens the door and Dolan's behind. "Yes, please, come in." Looks just past you as you enter the building and they close the door behind you.

TRAVIS: Is there anyone in the room that I don't see besides Horris and Dolan?

MATT: It's just the two of them at the moment.

MARISHA: Do I see-- sorry.

TRAVIS: I'll drop the disguise.

MATT: Okay. They both pause for a second. "Oh, wow, all right, you are as skilled as they say, it seems. That's pretty useful."

TRAVIS: I apologize. We realize that after you-- (drawl) I apologize.


TRAVIS: After we finished speaking, we realized we weren't aware of where Lord Sutan resided.

MATT: "Oh, right. His abode-- he lives in the Gilded Willows in the Tri-Spires."

MARISHA: Knew that much.

MATT: "He's, I would say, not too terribly far from the Skyscape Park and where the Constellation Bridge tower stands. It's a three-story house, dark wood, gold leaf carving. It's a bit gaudy, hard to miss amongst some of the other ones there, although all of them are gaudy in their own right. Look for the three-story, iron-gated, dark greenwood building in that vicinity."

TRAVIS: Great. Will do. Another thing that we realized-- in our efforts to frame and forge, which are vast, you don't happen to have any handwriting from Lord Sutan, do you?

MATT: "Unfortunately, no, most lords are very careful with documentation transfer back and forth, they usually go through direct parcel services."

TRAVIS: There was nothing that ousted you from your business, any sort of receipt, or--

MATT: "Oh, no. (chuckles) Nothing that was directly from his hand, at least. They usually go through intermediaries for that purpose."

TRAVIS: Is there anyone else in the area that we should know that he does business with, that he might communicate with regularly?

MATT: "I mean, that would be the one that replaced us--" And he nudges over to Horris on the side. "That would be--" I had that written down. Somewhere in here. Oh, shit, it's my older notes.

TRAVIS: There's a pen pal. And finding out who the pen pal is--

MATT: Exactly.

SAM: (pigeon cooing)

MARISHA: This is really good all to know. Now we're getting all this information.

LAURA and SAM: (as pigeons) High-Richter!

TRAVIS: No, there's no fucking pigeons.

LAURA: (as pigeon) High-Richter's handwriting!

MATT: "I believe it's Ren Sutan."

TRAVIS: Ren Sutan.

MATT: "Yes." If not, the Internet will correct me.

SAM: Ren Sutan is his name?

TRAVIS: That's who he wrote to, though.

LAURA: Oh, I thought Sutan was a title, like Lord Lord Lord.

MATT: "Oh, no, Lord Diedric Sutan is his name, Ren--"

TRAVIS: It's who he wrote to.

MATT: "Ren is his son who he placed to destroy and take over our practice."

TRAVIS: Well, he sounds like a real son of a bitch.

MATT: You hear Horris, off to the side, arms crossed now, hearing all this, goes, "Yeah, you could say that."

TRAVIS: This Ren Sutan, any idea where we might be able to find him?

MATT: They both look at each other, and you watch as Dolan glances out the window. "Not that far outside of the Apple Tree Tutorship vicinity, you will find a white and peach building, with a few banners in the front, and that's Ren's new practice."

TRAVIS: A physician also.

MATT: "Yes."

TRAVIS: A dark physician, most likely, hmm?

MATT: "I mean, sure." He looks confused.


MATT: "Dark physicianry I guess is an issue in some parts of the world, I suppose?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, rampant where I'm from. Just real fucking dark.

MATT: He looks back at Horris. Horris is like, "Right. Well, if you come across any dark physicianry, please do your best to quell it where it... seeds."


TRAVIS: Indeed I will. Indeed.

MATT: "Thank you."

TRAVIS: You probably will not be hearing from us again before the task is done.

SAM and LAURA: (as pigeons) High-Richter!


LAURA: (as pigeon) We need it more! High-Richter!


TALIESIN: I keep trying to make a sound, it's just nothing's working.

TRAVIS: Was I supposed to say stuff about the High-Richter?

MARISHA: I don't know, I'd say take the foot-in-mouth signal.

LAURA: We need the handwriting of the High-Richter more than Lord Sutan's handwriting.

MATT: You're not there.

LAURA: (exasperated sound)


SAM: We blew it.

LAURA: Fuck! (as pigeon) High-Richter!

SAM: (as pigeon) High-Richter!

TRAVIS: Thank you. We won't trouble you any longer.

MATT: "No worries. I suppose since-- Tomorrow evening, when everything's set to go, me and Horris, Kara, we're not going to be present when all of this goes down, so we have deniability when we turn our information in for this whole endeavor, but I think Ulog and you guys should meet on the outside of the tavern that we met at earlier today to kick this off."

TRAVIS: Song and Supper Inn.

MATT: "You got it."

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Well good luck, and--"

MARISHA: (drawl) Mustard. Biscuits.

LIAM: (drawl) You're just a little feller, you oughtn’t talk like that.

TRAVIS: Lock that door behind me, and I leave.

MATT: All right. Locks the door.

SAM: How did it go?

LAURA: Did you get the handwriting?

TRAVIS: Stupid pigeons.

SAM and LAURA: Did you get the handwriting of the High-Richter?

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I'm not sharing it. Yep. Got it. Got it, no problem. Read it, looked at it, I understand what it looks like. Let's go.


LAURA: Fjord, we need it. Really bad.

TRAVIS: Nope, sorry, not going to help you.

LAURA: Did you not get it?

MARISHA: What did they say, though?

TRAVIS: A whole bunch of stuff, but I can't say it around them, I just won’t, out of principle.

MARISHA: Okay. All right. Yep.

LIAM: Yeah, but actually do you think you could go back and say that you forgot to ask a question?

LAURA: Just say, hey, the whole point of this was to find the High-Richter's handwriting as well, and maybe--

LIAM: I understand that these two are really busting your balls, and I commiserate with that, but we do need in fact to ask.

TRAVIS: Now, see, if you ask nicely, yeah, things will ha-- I walk back up to the door.


TRAVIS: Knock-knock-knock.

MATT: The eye peeks through the window once again.

TRAVIS: One more thing.

MATT: (door opening)

MARISHA: I'm keeping an eye out for anyone watching.

TRAVIS: Totally forgot to ask, you don't happen to have any handwriting from the High-Richter do you?

MATT: "No, that would make this a lot easier."

TRAVIS: Yeah, I know.


TRAVIS: Great.

MATT: "Sorry."

TRAVIS: Have a good day.

MATT: "You too." (door closing)

TRAVIS: No. None.

LIAM: Okay, well, we checked that box off, so now we have to get to work.

SAM: We got some good information, we got Sutan's address and Ren's address.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Blah blah blah, Ren's address and the address. Now you got it.

SAM: Oh my god!

MARISHA: Oh, and it's super interesting--

LAURA: Whoa, that is really good, Fjord, you did a really good job in there.

MARISHA: Also super interesting that they mentioned having other people do their work for them. (pause) Okay, let's go!

TRAVIS: Was that mentioned?

MARISHA: He said they have other people do parcel service and stuff for him.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay, yeah, that. Blah.


SAM: So you're saying that we could use other handwriting as well, and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary, as long as it beared the signature and seal of said place?

MARISHA: Well maybe not even a signature. Most people trying to be smart about not getting caught aren't probably like my name and social security number.

LAURA: What if we get some parchment that says from the home office of Lord Sutan?

SAM: Ooh, a letterhead.

MARISHA: You want stationary, sure.

TALIESIN: Beyond actual, personal stationery. I think the notion would be is that you would actually send your actual handwriting in something like this because that way they would know that it was you. You would be very careful how and who you would send that through. You wouldn't want a second person taking dictation as you plotted to overthrow the government.

MARISHA: Okay well how about this, I think the seal is going to be good; I think any type of money amount mentioned in any of the letters and then we cross that and leave that type of amount of gold in the-- like there's been a money hand off.

TRAVIS: We're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's stay on task. Let's head to the Gilded Willows where in the Tri-Spire, where the fucking Scottsdale party-- What do these notes say, Skyskate Park and Constellation Boulevard.

LIAM: Knotts Berry Farm.

SAM: Constellation Bridge.

TRAVIS: Yeah that thing.

SAM: Constellation Bridge.

MATT: Constellation Bridge tower and Skyscape Park.

MARISHA: In between Adventureland and Frontierland.


TRAVIS: Yeah, I was writing real fast.

TALIESIN: It's good there's a bathroom on the way to that. That works out well.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: So we're going there with the express purpose of--?

TRAVIS: Just recon. We're trying to see what this place looks like, if we can see Lord Sutan. Then we'll make a decision if we go after his son or not. Who maybe has some of his handwriting.

SAM: That's in the Tri-Spire. So we need to go through the sewers to get there.

TALIESIN: Maybe a birthday card.

LAURA: Or we can go up, a few of us, through the actual front gates and then meet up with everyone.

MARISHA: Okay, well how about half of us go to Lord Sutan's and half of us go check out Ren's.


LAURA: Okay.

SAM: What are we looking for at Ren's?

TRAVIS: Handwriting.

SAM: Okay, from his papa.

TRAVIS: And see if Ren's a son of a bitch. Yeah.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: I'll go to check out Ren.

TRAVIS: Yeah me too, because I can't make it through the gates.


SAM: I don't think anyone can make it through the gates, except for you.

TRAVIS: That's what I was wondering what you were talking about.

TALIESIN: I thought we were going to take the sewer to get in there.

LAURA: I thought Beau might be able to get through the gates, actually.

MARISHA: I could get through the gate.


TRAVIS: Because she's got a cloak now.

LAURA: Yeah and it's not a magical disguise.



MARISHA: I'll go check out-- yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Caleb, where you want to go buddy?

LIAM: I will go to Sutan's.

TRAVIS: Wait, they're both Sutan.

LIAM: No, the elder, I'm sorry.

SAM: Will you be able to get in?

LIAM: Not without you. You'll come with me?

SAM: We'll sneak on in through the sewers?

LIAM: Well how do you want to do it?

SAM: They're talking about going straight in through the gate because they're, you know, respectable.

LAURA: (distraught) Well it's such a thing to get into the sewers. We have to make a distraction and everything, every time.

TALIESIN: Perhaps we should just have a two person reconnaissance for now.

LAURA: Right.

MARISHA: We can manage ourselves.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: We're good.

LAURA: Yes, we won't get into any trouble.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you won't bring back Clarota or nothing, it'll be great.

LAURA: We know our way around.

TALIESIN: Too soon.

TRAVIS: Can't be.

MARISHA: We got this, let's go.

TRAVIS: Should we meet back at the Song & Supper Inn at what, sunset?

MARISHA: What time is it?

LAURA: Or just at the Leaky Tap.

MATT: You got maybe an hour and half to two hours before sunset.

LAURA: Let's just meet back at the Leaky Tap.

TRAVIS: Okay, fair enough.

SAM: At the Leaky--

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: The Leaky or the Song & Supper? We're talking about two different-- Leaky Tap.

TRAVIS: Leaky Tap.

MARISHA: Hour and a half, all right.

LAURA: Let's go.



MATT: You both make your way toward the Tri-Spire. As you make your way towards the front entry gates there, one of the guards posted there is familiar with you and begins to let you through. As you approach--

MARISHA: I flip it to the blue side, cobalt.

MATT: As you pass through, a few steps behind Jester, the guard approaches, “Halt. I don't believe I've seen you through here before."


LAURA: She came through earlier. She's with me.

MARISHA: Literally like 24 hours ago.

MATT: "Very well."

MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: Steps back. You guys make your way, following the directions to the Gilded Willows. You see the massive tree-tops that fill out the skyline from your perspective. Every home seems to have a row of greenery between. It's a very, very beautiful neighborhood. You can follow where the Constellation Bridge Tower as a beacon and as it guides you towards its area it doesn't take long for you to see the large, gaudy, three-story complex that is Lord Sutan's home. You can see the gold leaf carving along the edges of each of the various stories in between. The dark green slats that are there, are coated in some sort of a lacquer material that almost glistens in the sunlight as it passes. The sunset colors now starting to make their way into the cloud-covered sky. You do see marble pillars at the corner of the estate's grounds. With iron gates that link each of them, with about maybe five foot bit of simple lawn-hill that separates the gap between the gate and the building itself.

MARISHA: Are the gates chained shut or does it look like there's a lever?

MATT: Well the gates on all them are solid except for in the very front and the very back. Both of them appear to be closed and locked. You do see, posted at the front of the front door, there are two crownsguard that are there keeping watch. On the back end as you case around to the rear side of the home, there is a singular crownsguard and a dog that is on a chain.

MARISHA: Two in front. Does it look like there's any blind spots any trees that go up and cusp over the walls?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Hashtag NBC Blindspot.

MARISHA: Not good. Eleven.

MATT: It's hard to see where any perspective would be a blind spot. For entry, other than above or from the sides because the front and back seem pretty well covered by these guards, as they're currently posted and standing there. So the only things that really make sense would be either flanking the building or something that guides you over top. That's all you can think of.

LAURA: How high are the buildings next to the house?

MATT: The one that is immediately to the left of it is two-story, it's a shorter building. There is a tree to the immediate right of it that rises up to about the height, if not a little taller, than the actual home itself. The building next to it is another two-stories. This one lords over the other buildings, but there is one large tree that is about five feet from the edge of the wall.

LAURA: Okay. That seems usable.

MARISHA: It's a big jump but we can do it. It's not too big.

LAURA: Like a five feet jump?

MARISHA: That's doable, yeah.

LAURA: From, like a swinging branch?

MARISHA: From rooftop to wall.

MATT: It's five feet to the wall, and then about five feet from the wall to the actual building. So it's a ten foot from the tree to the roof.

TALIESIN: Could you parkour the wall?

MATT: You could certainly try.

MARISHA: That was what I was thinking, wall to wall.

SAM: Monk shit.

TALIESIN: I knew you were already there.

MARISHA: Do they look like one of the--

MATT: The gates about eight feet tall and the building is three stories. So I mean there are some roof-edge perches the stories kinda taper with each additional floor. So there is a small space, maybe a foot, a foot and a half wide that you could shoot for. If there was something you wanted to try but--

LAURA: Are there windows on that side of the house?

MATT: There are no windows on the base floor, or at least none that you can see. The second floor you do see one set of double windows that open. Though they are currently closed. Those are on the two side edges of the building.

LAURA: Is there a balcony connected to them?

MATT: No. There's no balcony.

MARISHA: No balcony. So there appear to be--

MATT: The only balcony you saw was in the large balcony at the front of the High-Richter's home, but not on this one.

MARISHA: No balcony, okay.

LAURA: So a few guards.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

LAURA: A dog.

MARISHA: A dog, I like dogs.

LAURA: I love dogs.

MATT: As you glance at the back of the building, the doors that you see immediately, there is one set of doors that is the front with the two guards are. The back where the other gate entrance is, there isn't another door that leads into the home. There is a double-cellar door that descends beneath. That is what is currently being guarded with a man and the dog.

LAURA: Okay. I wonder if anything would lure the guards away from the house.

MARISHA: Yeah, maybe a drunk. A drunkard trying to break in somewhere else?

LAURA: Maybe.

MARISHA: You know, a public disturbance.

LAURA: Maybe a drunk trying to talk to them in the front of the house or something.


LAURA: Or in the back.

MARISHA: I mean our group is pretty good at causing distractions.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: They can do that. That's totally-

LAURA: Some people jump up and over?

MARISHA: Yeah. It's going to have to go fast.

LAURA: Yeah. Oh man. Maybe we could get some rope and a grapple.

MARISHA: Yeah we could do that.

LAURA: We could throw a grapple for ten feet, I know that.

MARISHA: Do I have a climber's kit?

MATT: Do you have a climber's kit?

MARISHA: I don't have a climber's kit, but we can go buy a climber's kit.

LAURA: We can go get a climber's kit.

MARISHA: Yeah. Okay.

TRAVIS: I just got a shit-load of ball bearings.

TALIESIN: I got ball bearings, man.


MARISHA: Guys, let's challenge ourselves. We have to break in, only using ball bearings.


MARISHA: How do we do it?

MATT: The new D&D nightmare mode.

LIAM: (shiftily) You need some some ball bearings man?

MATT: You're all level one bards with nothing but ball bearings, go.

TALIESIN: Call me pinball wizard.

LAURA: We did a good job scouting this place out and stuff.

MARISHA: Yeah. Do there seem to be any weak points, any loose bricks in the walls?

MATT: Unfortunately--

MARISHA: As we walk by, I'm playing with the wall, but I'm testing for weak spots.

MATT: Well the wall is an iron gate. They're all long, iron fencing gate. There are the marble pillars at the corner of each one. So it's open, it's a series of bars.

LAURA: Are they pointy-top iron bars?

MATT: They are. They are poodle impalers.


TALIESIN: Yeah that changes things, the landscape.

MARISHA: I understand now.

TRAVIS: You can see if it hurts your hand if you touch it.

LAURA: I bet it does.

MARISHA: Oh there's no--

LAURA: Can you stick your fingers through the bar?

MATT: Do you want to try it?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: You die.

MATT: Okay as you place your hand through the bar--

TRAVIS: No fucking way.

MATT: Nothing happens.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Ah, you son of a bitch.

MATT: No, it's fine.


TRAVIS: (vaporized noise)

LAURA: Disintegrate.

MATT: Game over.

TRAVIS: Yeah, new character.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: You know, when I used to hop fences back where I came from--

LAURA: Mm-hmm?

SAM: Where was that?

MATT: You're not there.

SAM: Oh I'm not there.


TRAVIS: Nice try.

MARISHA: If you're ever trying to get over barbed-wire or any pointy fences, you take a rug or a bedroll, and you throw it over there, and you hop over and you--

LAURA: That's personal Marisha experience isn't it?

MARISHA: Yeah I mean--

TRAVIS: That's some Fight Club shit.

MARISHA: I'm just throwing that out there. It works.

TALIESIN: A plank of wood will work too.

LAURA: I feel like that would be a really good idea. I feel like it might be a little noticeable to carry around a rug.

MARISHA: A bedroll is not too bad.

LAURA: Most people in the Tri-Spire don't carry around bedrolls.

LIAM: (coo) Haversack (coo).

LAURA: Yes but it's little.

MATT: Shh.

LAURA: You're not there.

SAM: It's not him, it's a pigeon.

MATT: That's true, you're right Sam.

SAM: There's a metagaming pigeon in this.


TRAVIS: (coo) Remember (coo).

MATT: (coo) Bonus action (coo).


TRAVIS: (coo) Hunter's Mark.


MATT: Can we please make the metagaming pigeon a thing now? I've played with a few in my time.


TRAVIS: Turn Undead (coo).

MATT: All right. Anything else you guys want to do while you're there?

LAURA: I think-- are we good?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go.

MATT: Okay. Do you guys want and try for a climber's kit on your way back?


MATT: Okay. It takes a little bit of time to find a place because some of the shops are starting to close past sunset. The time it took you guys to get there, do a full casing and come back the sun has set and the sky is getting darker. However, thankfully a climber's kit is not all that expensive. With a full cost on that-- come on. Climber's kit-- ha, I was wrong, 25 gold.

MARISHA: (groans)

LAURA: What if we don't want the whole kit, just the grapple part of it and the rope?

MATT: Just the grappling hook?

TALIESIN: We have rope.

MATT: Two gold.

LAURA: And the rope?

MARISHA: We're just trying out the gym. We're not fully committed to it yet.

MATT: (laughs) Right, can I get a consultation first?

LAURA: What is fully included in the climber's kit?

MATT: Ah, climber's kit includes a lot of things. Includes special pitons, boot tips, gloves, and a harness. That's for mountain climbing.

LIAM: CrossFit T-shirt.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I have pitons, and a hammer, and rope.

MATT: Some nice core balls you can sit on. Yeah, so you want a grappling hook and rope? You can get those. Those are cheaper.

LAURA: Yes that would probably be a good idea.

MATT: Grappling hook is two gold and the rope-- you want silk or hempen?

LAURA: (whispering) The cheaper one.

MATT: That would be hempen, so that's one gold.

SAM: You're probably more familiar with silk bindings.

MATT: So three gold for a single grappling rope and rope.

LAURA: That I use for different things.

SAM: Got it.

LAURA: I don't use them at all.

MATT: So mark down that you have a grappling hook and 50 feet of hempen rope.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right. As you guys are accomplishing that, the rest of you--

LAURA: I'll get rid of-- I'll pay for it.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: The rest of you, what are you doing?

LIAM: I don't think we want the group to be too big. Let these two handle this Ren and you and I will wait at the Leaky Tap and lay low.

SAM: You want to let them go off on their own?

LIAM: We don't want to create-- why do we want a group--

TRAVIS: You've never heard of safety in numbers and all that shit?

SAM: They have to break in somewhere, they going to be--

TRAVIS: Yeah man. I just figured you'd be a part of this.

SAM: I mean, I'm with you Caleb. If you don't want to go then let's go back to the Leaky Tap.

LIAM: No, we're going to break into houses together. Of course I'm willing to do this. I just feel like for this-- what are you planning to do?

TRAVIS: Just some simple reconnaissance. See if we can see Ren, maybe have a conversation with him. If he's not a total prick, I don't know, maybe he's got some of his dad's handwriting.

LIAM: Yeah, okay.

SAM: We don't have to go, I don't care.

LIAM: No it's fine.

SAM: It sounds scary to me.

LIAM: No I-- my head is not in the game. We'll go along.

TRAVIS: Great, we're going to head towards the Apple Tree Tuneship? What did I write here?

MATT: (laughs) The Tutoring Village.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: Oh god. Nine, twelve.

MATT: Twelve, okay. It takes you a little while to get there. You haven't actually been to the Tutor Village before.


MATT: Okay, same difference. So you manage, through asking questions and finding your way around, you manage to get to the Tutor Village right before sunset. You do see, about one block over, the large, white-peach building that you had previously been told by Dolan. You see the sign up; it's called the Guided Hand Infirmary. It's one story, but it stretches wide towards the back. It's like a large shotgun building.

TRAVIS: Guided Hand Infirmary?

MATT: The Guided Hand Infirmary. You can see light from the interior. There are two windows at the front, and a row of windows as it continues down the back of the alley. The alley, you can see, actually lights up, because the bright interior warm light reflecting off of the buildings on the opposite side, down the alley on each parallel end of it. The building itself seems fairly well made, there's elements of a plaster material put against the wood to make it seem a little less cracked and broken on the vicinity around it. It looks like a little more money went into this complex than a lot of the surrounding buildings.

TRAVIS: Right. He's a physician. Well, before we put a personal touch on it, do you people with sneaky abilities want to see what you can see in the windows?

LIAM: Yeah, well, we could send Frumpkin to have a look around.

SAM: That's a good idea.

LIAM: I send Frumpkin. He will run around the entire building, if he's able. He's also able to climb things, so I will get him up on top of window sills, if he can, to take a look inside.

MATT: As Frumpkin curls up and jumps onto the windowsill, and you glance through the vision of your familiar. The first window you come across, inside, it's a simple room, it’s painted a similar white, peach color. There's a single bed, maybe twin size, with a single sheet. You see an individual who is currently lying on it, with not quite Caleb dirty clothes, but not an upperclassman by any means. Upperclassman? Not what I was going for, that's fine.

TRAVIS: Seniors '99!


MATT: Wooo! Sydney football rules. Weird. But, you do see this individual is currently has a full arm bandaged, with blood soaked and dried on parts of it, and they are currently asleep, and the door is closed. There is a lantern inside that is set to keep the room warm.

LIAM: Is there the ability for Frumpkin to move around to the exact opposite side of this building?

MATT: Yeah, have him move around, go around the front.

LIAM: Yeah, he will jump up to any windowsill on the back of the house as well.

MATT: As Frumpkin keeps watch on each of these, each chamber seems to either be empty or there's somebody in some state of either rest, or waiting. You see one person, a younger girl maybe fifteen or sixteen years old, who is waiting on the edge of a bed, sitting quietly in a room by herself. Glancing around, she looks over and sees Frumpkin, and goes, "Kitty!" and makes the hand motion to try and pet-- You go around the back door and you can see one room has two beds that currently have two individuals that are coughing heavily. They're sick with something pretty bad, and there is a person inside that is dressed in a white robe that is in the process of bringing them both broth, but they have a mask over their face, a piece of cloth tied behind, and it looks like they're treating some diseased patients. This is, for all intents and purposes, an infirmary.

LIAM: Yeah, did you say this was a one story building?

MATT: It's a one story building, but it's quite long. It goes back quite a bit. Other buildings are spotty and build the space around the outside of this block, whereas this infirmary stretches the entire length of the block.

LIAM: Five to ten minutes of hopping from ground to window a bunch of times, all I find are patient rooms. No sort of office or anything else?

MATT: Correct, it looks like all-- It looks like it's built so that all the rooms that have sunlight are the rooms where the patients would stay. Anything important would be kept in the interior of the building.

LIAM: One last thing, how high is the roof?

MATT: The roof is about, I'd say, 12 feet up.

LIAM: Fjord, come here. Scooch down for a second, and I jump up onto-- I've taken my vision back-- I jump up onto his back. Now, stand up!

TRAVIS: 11 strength. Okay…Oof!

LIAM: Okay. I snap at Frumpkin, and he vanishes, and I reach out, and Frumpkin appears. I am now within ten feet, I would assume, of the top of the building, so Frumpkin is on the roof. (teleportation noise) I want to send him to look-- Then I hop down off of Ford and put my hand and steady myself on Ford and have Frumpkin look for any holes in the roof, or if there's a skylight, or anything. Probably not, but it's worth a try.

MATT: As you're focusing, Ford, you notice a small child, maybe five or six years old, this scruffy reddish hair and a dirty smashed face, walks up and goes, "What happened to the kitty?"

TRAVIS: Oh, you know, it ran up on the roof. We were trying to chase her down. You want to see if maybe she ran around the corner?

MATT: "I was going up to pet it, and it went away!"

TRAVIS: Yeah. They're tricksy like that.

MARISHA: Second time your cat just vanished.

TRAVIS: Tell you what, if I see it, I'll call out. What's your name?

MATT: "Oh, I'm Simon."

TRAVIS: Simon, okay.


SAM: We found him.

LAURA: Simon became a real boy.

MATT: He's a real boy.


TRAVIS: Simon, I'll call out if I see him. Why don't you see, if you run the other way, see if you can find him.

MATT: "Okay." He runs around the other side of the building. Frumpkin is on top. And, looking at the top, the front of it looks really nice. The top, which nobody sees, doesn't look that great. It's a pretty shoddy, wooden slats over wooden slats, across the entirety of the roof complex. You can see one small trap door, about the center of it, that is currently closed.

LIAM: Okay, I call him back.

MATT: (Meowing)

LIAM: Then I (snaps fingers). And then he's on my shoulder.

MATT: At which point, you hear a kid go, "Whoa!" Simon is now on the side, staring at this disappearing and reappearing cat.

LIAM: Yeah, cats are the best. I don't know, there's a trap door up there, but, I mean, we're not going in.

SAM: Go. Go away! Go. Go away! Shoo! Go away!

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: (laughing) Oh my god.

SAM: 14.

MATT: 14. (screaming) and he runs.

SAM: Oh, sorry.

LIAM: Well done there, yeah. What do we want to do? This place is full of sick people.

TRAVIS: Right. Unless Ren is actually on the inside. If they had an office, maybe we could rifle through some--

LIAM: Yeah. And if we're going in, what do we do? We could have one of us be ill perhaps.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Or just ill on the front doorstep and keep them occupied.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I could, you know, kick the shit out of Nott in the face, and then be like (yelling).

SAM: I mean, we've got Mollymauk with us. Why don't you just do the same thing to him?

TRAVIS: I could kick the shit out of Nott in the face, and then like--

SAM: I don't appreciate this. At all. I feel like I'm being singled out because I'm a woman.


LIAM: A better idea, perhaps, is for one of-- You're able to disguise yourself, right?

TALIESIN: To a point.

LIAM: There's three of us, that we can all disguise ourselves. I can make myself look like like a sick person.

TRAVIS: Although, he's a physician. So he might try to, you know, check. And I think, up to touch, it falls apart.

LIAM: Well, you can make yourself look like you, but with not green skin.

TALIESIN: It's standard carny practice to be able to fake boils and stuff with a disguise kit to leper up a bit?

MATT: It would take you about an hour or so to do so. To a studied physician, probably not going to hold up.


MATT: You can certainly try. Depending upon how high you roll.

TALIESIN: Could fake some sick on people.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, I could mimic whatever you have, and try to stay at arm's length.

TALIESIN: You can just drag me in.

TRAVIS: I like it. Yep.

TALIESIN: I can make a scene.

TRAVIS: Yep. I like that. Then you two try to get into the office somehow?

SAM: If there is an office.

TRAVIS: I'm assuming there is. It's a doctor's’ office, right?

LIAM: There is some sort of trapdoor in the center of that building that I don't think is mirrored by any of the rooms that I was able to see on the outside of the building. So it's like a donut with a hole in the middle, is where, maybe, what you're looking for.

TRAVIS: I think that makes sense. We'll cause a ruckus, see what you can find.

LIAM: Yeah. Ruckus, you and I go in.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Have we talked about the other house yet? Because the distraction was obvious.

TRAVIS: Is it?

TALIESIN and MARISHA: What kind of dog was it?

TRAVIS: Well, they're not here.

TALIESIN: Was it a guard dog?

LAURA: We haven't gotten back.

TALIESIN: They haven't gotten back yet. Nevermind, all right, I'm jumping ahead.

TRAVIS: It was a Chihuahua on a chain.

TALIESIN: We’re in!

TRAVIS: Fierce as shit. Spiked collar, tongue out--

TALIESIN: We're going to need a bigger boat.

MARISHA: Its name was Princess.

SAM: --through a window?

CALEB: We're going to walk right in. These two are going to create such a fuss.

TRAVIS: How long are you going to need to make your face all lepered up?

TALIESIN: About an hour?

MARISHA: An hour!

MATT: About an hour.

TALIESIN: About an hour.

SAM: An hour?

TALIESIN: And who said I was going to do my face?

TRAVIS: Oh god.

LIAM: Couldn't you maybe act like--

TALIESIN: We don't want them to look at it too closely.

SAM: Look like you're just-- Cough and stuff?

LIAM: Could you be a sick tiefling?

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm going to do that, too. I've got a plan.

MATT: You’re going to spend time and apply.

SAM: Oh, I've got it, I've got it. Faster. What if Caleb burns all of your clothing and you go in as a burn victim?

TALIESIN: You're not going to touch my clothing.

CALEB: That's not, we’re not doing that.

TALIESIN: No, we're not setting fire to my clothing. I'm going to mess up my junk what fierce.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

LAURA: Gross.

MATT: In the street?

TALIESIN: No, back at the-- do we have a place where I can work, or am I going back to the Leaky Tap? Or is that too far away?

MATT: That's up to you, you can try and duck into a shady corner. And spend an hour.

LAURA: Spend an hour painting your dick?

TALIESIN: An hour painting my dick? No, I'm going to need some privacy for that.


TALIESIN: I'm also going to need to order some breakfast food. Something eggy.


TRAVIS: For fuck's sake, Jesus. Really?


TRAVIS: Okay. All right.

TALIESIN: I thought you wanted a distraction!

TRAVIS: I do! I'm all about this. Let's go find breakfast. Jesus.

LIAM: When we go in, we don't walk in just you and me. We do Mother's Love.

SAM: Yes. Yes. We do Mother's Love.

LIAM: Just in case.

SAM: Yes, good idea.

TRAVIS: Can we find a tavern?

TALIESIN: A Denny's, whatever. The worst pub ever.

MATT: You can get yourself some evening scrambled eggs for five copper.

TRAVIS: I think we need sunny-side up, don't we?

TALIESIN: No, I'm going to scramble everything. I'm going to get some beer. I'm going to get some mayo. I'm going to get a little bit of everything, I'm going to put it in my--

LAURA: In your butt.

MATT: All right. If you're gathering all those materials from a scattered meal--

TALIESIN: A little bit of hot sauce.

MATT: We'll put it at about eight copper for the total.

TRAVIS: I'll pay for it. Don't. It's on me.

LIAM: We're all going to pay for it, Travis.

TALIESIN: No problem. We're going to put it in my-- I've got a little water sack. I'm going to mix it all up and put it in there and wait till we're ready to go.

MATT: Okay. I'm going to say for this, go ahead and roll a d20. Add your proficiency bonus and intelligence modifier.

MARISHA: Come on, stage makeup class!

TALIESIN: D20, proficiency bonus, intelligence modifier?

MATT: Yeah. Because this is about trying to come up with an accurate means of looking like you've been infected with something.

TALIESIN: That's 11.

MATT: 11. Okay. You take an hour and you're pretty proud of it. You think it'll work fine.

SAM: Did you add your intelligence bonus?

TALIESIN: I have no intelligence bonus.

SAM: Oh, great.

TRAVIS: Do I dare ask what it looks like?

TALIESIN: You can see.

LIAM: Yeah, show us the goods. What did you do to yourself? Oh!

TRAVIS: Why would you even?

TALIESIN: That's the brilliance, is no one's going to look that closely.

TRAVIS: That's in your brain forever.

TALIESIN: Literally forever.

MATT: For a month.

MARISHA: This is going to be the weirdest fanart.

TALIESIN: Shit! I didn't even think about that! God damn it.

LIAM: I will have Jester sketch it out and we will have it forever.

TRAVIS: Are we ready to do this? Are you ready to make a damn fool of yourself?

TALIESIN: I'm always ready to make a damn fool of myself.

TRAVIS: All right. Let's go. We go up to the front door. Where are y’all going?

LIAM: We're going to hang back. Is there a nook or an alley within view of this?

MATT: There's alleys on each side, but they both have windows that are lit, so you would be in one of those vicinities.

LIAM: Can we go half a block away?

MATT: You could. You would be at a distance though.

LIAM: Yeah, that's fine for the moment. For the moment, yeah. Get ready, we're going to do Mother's Love.

SAM: How will we know when to go?

LIAM: We're going to watch them at the door.

MATT: All right. So the two of you enter. You go through the front door. It's a double door. It pushes open. It doesn't appear to have resistance, it's on a hinge. You push in, and at the front there's a clerk there, wearing the same white robe: a middle-aged man, receding hairline, short hair, big bulbous red nose, some pock-marking on his cheek. He looks up. "Can I help you?"

TALIESIN: No, I'm fine. I'm perfectly, perfectly fine. I don't need to do any of this.

TRAVIS: (coughing) No, you need help. It's real gross.

TALIESIN: I'm fine!

MATT: He reaches down and pulls a cloth up and puts it immediately over his face. "Okay, um-- "

TALIESIN: No, I don't -- I was born in a place like this. I don't want anything to -- I'm going to give myself a little (grunt). Sir, there's -- (vomit). I'm going to go for it right in his face.

LIAM: The ruckus is audible all the way down the block, so I turn myself into a half-orc woman and pick up Nott like my baby and put her head on my shoulder and start walking towards the building.

MATT: Okay. As you're doing that, I need you to roll a deception check with advantage because you're helping.

TALIESIN: Magnets, how the fuck do they work? That's nice. 21.

MATT: 21! As soon as you spray in the face, he's like (sputtering). Takes the scarf off and (panting) "Sit down, please!" He points over to a bench on the side.

TALIESIN: I'm going to start crawling along the floor and i'm going to cut myself a little bit on my neck. Since I'm used to it, I don't mind a little blood. I'm giving myself a good cut, maybe there'll be a little ice fleck. I don't know if I want to activate that, if it'll work on my fingernails, but what the fuck. I'm going to start crawling, leaving a trail of vomit into the next room, going, no! No!

MATT: Take a point of damage.


TRAVIS: I go the opposite direction he starts walking. (hacking cough)

MATT: The clerk at this point goes, "Please! Stay tight, I'm going to-- shit!" He leaves the room.

SAM: Go, go, go, go!

LIAM: We peer in the door. What is going on in this room at this point?

MATT: You walk in as you see there's a spray of stuff across the clerk's counter. You see both Mollymauk and Fjord crawling in opposite directions across the floor as you hear footsteps, and the clerk had just rushed out of the chamber down the hallway.

LIAM: We are going to go between them like Noah through the water. Oh, that's the wrong -- Moses, yeah.

SAM: Like Noah through the ark!

LIAM: There's vomit and eggs everywhere!

MATT: What you see now is there's two hallways. There's one to each side as you enter. Where the clerk's desk was, it looks like there's all the rooms you saw on the right side, all the rooms you saw on the left side, and there are chambers in the center of the building with the two hallways that bisect the two areas. You can choose right or left, it's up to you. The clerk went down the right side.

LIAM: I will take the left one if the clerk went down the right side.

MATT: Okay. As you're rushing with Nott in your arms, you head into the hallway on the left side and you glance and can immediately see another person with a robe, who is holding a small satchel of some sort of greenish material. They walk and see you. "Excuse me, can I help you?"

LIAM: (crying)

SAM: (baby wail)

MATT: Make a deception check, please.

SAM: Oh, no, me? That's a negative one. (shriek)

MATT: "What seems to be the problem?" He looks, as opposed to being empathically interested in your well-being, is genuinely disturbed by the sound the child is making, Rosemary's Baby style.

LIAM: Frumpkin appears on the back of the guy's neck and starts tearing in.

SAM: Oh, God, you're using it to attack? You can do that?

MATT: Roll an attack for Frumpkin, please.

TRAVIS: My allergies are going to be shit in about five seconds. My worst nightmare.

LIAM: Oh, my gosh, for a cat? I mean, it's a 13 plus I don't know what.

MATT: That hits, he's wearing a robe. Go ahead and roll.

LIAM: Starts clawing. One?

MATT: We'll say it's one point of damage, is a cat's scratch. As it's clawing, he's (screaming). He starts screaming and grabs Frumpkin on his back and tries to pull him and throw him off. Frumpkin full-on spins, scatters, all claws and legs out, lands on the ground. (Angry cat sound) Full puff-up, tail and everything. At this point you watch another doorway flip open, and you see a man come out with very short brown hair on the sides with a pompadour in the front and a similar white robe, but it looks like it's longer-sleeved with more detail. He goes, "What is all this ruckus happening?"

MARISHA: Ooh, I hate him. I hate him already.

MATT: "What is a cat doing here? Get the cat!" He watches as the clerk says, "I don't -- shoo! Shoo! Shoo!" He's trying to get Frumpkin to leave now.

TALIESIN: Off in the distance you hear, You have no legal authority over me! (vomit)

TRAVIS: (hacking cough)

MATT: There's now other workers of the infirmary coming out of the rooms that are all starting to gather. The one who saw you in the hallway is now coming towards you while shooing Frumpkin out. You watch the guy who had left the chamber head back into the office and close it. People are starting to scatter. You guys are waiting in the two rooms now, you said? You found two separate rooms?

TALIESIN: I'm just running the hall.

MATT: You're just running the hall?

TALIESIN: I'm crawling in the hall.

MATT: What are you doing?

TRAVIS: I'm standing there like (hacking cough). I think I shit my pants!

MATT: So you're coughing loud in the room. You're crawling in the hall. Behind them?

LIAM: Is there enough chaos for us to step into one of these open rooms and shut the door behind us?

MATT: We'll find out in a second. Now we have you spitting and freaking out. The two clerks that are trying to push Frumpkin out are trying to escort you. They see you. They're like, “Sir? Sir?” They start grabbing your arms and lifting you up.

TALIESIN: (vomit) I'm still bleeding from the neck.

MATT: They start dragging you into one of the rooms on the side. They open one room and there's somebody in there already who was sleeping but is starting to come to, going, "What's happening?" "Sorry!" They close the door, go to the next chamber, and start dragging you into an empty room.

TALIESIN: I'm going to immediately -- I'm going to go limp.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Then the minute the door's open, I'm going to make a break for it.

MATT: All right. They open the door--

TALIESIN: I'm out!

MATT: You bolt?

TALIESIN: I'm going to bolt. Full speed.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: All right. Athletics or acrobatics? Athletics?

MATT: Actually, this would be your choice.

TALIESIN: Oh, yay. That's nice. Nine?

MATT: You try and pull away, but in the moment, they're genuinely worried about your well-being. They've probably had patients try and make big physical actions while they're in their care, and they hold you back.

TALIESIN: It's magic! I'm possessed! I turn to one and go, (in a guttural voice) The power of Christ compels you! I'm going to use Devil's Tongue and I'm going to do a couple points of damage to him.

MATT: Devil's Tongue or Vicious Mockery?

TALIESIN: Vicious Mockery.

TRAVIS: Oh, lord. Oh no.

TALIESIN: It's only a couple points.

MATT: Okay. That's 11. What's your DC on it?

TALIESIN: On Vicious Mockery? Where's my -- I'm not used to magic. It's so weird.

MARISHA: I'd like to say, I feel pretty good about our casing mission.

MATT: What's your charisma modifier?

TALIESIN: Charisma modifier is zero.

SAM: Your modifier's right there.

TALIESIN: Is it? I'm blind. Where does it go?

MATT: It's fine. They succeed. You shout this and one of them (groan). They grab and throw you into the room. You (whoosh) into the chamber and they close the door, pushing you inside of it.

TALIESIN: It would've been a plus three modifier, sorry.

MATT: Well, what's the DC of the spell is what I'm asking?

TALIESIN: I'm trying to find that. I'm not used to magic.

MATT: That's okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, never mind.

MATT: It's fine. They shove you into the chamber. They close the door. You land on the ground and you hear it lock behind you.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: You are now a dangerous patient who needs other glancing. While that's happening and they're distracted by that, you guys--

LIAM: Look for an empty room. Or is every room in the house full?

MATT: I'd say about half of them are full. You see two chambers that are empty.

LIAM: I go in and shut the door behind us.

MATT: All right. You close the door. You guys both make stealth checks real fast.

LIAM: A one.

SAM: 21.

MATT: All right. You enter the room and close it. What are you doing?

SAM: What are we doing in here? We have to go back to the office!

LIAM: Yeah, but he's in the office.

SAM: We could -- You're right. Maybe we should just leave. Molly and Fjord will be fine, we'll just leave.

LIAM: We don't know. That's a no, we're working together. We're trying to work together with people. No, we have to get all of us out of here, which is more important than finding this asshole in the building. What do we do, what do we do?

SAM: We have some-- We could-- I'm looking. What do we got? We could do Enemy of My Enemy?

LIAM: That seems extreme at this moment.

SAM: You could set the place on fire. You could-- I don't know what to do!

MATT: (knocking) "Hello? Is there somebody in here?"

SAM: Shh!

MATT: The door opens and you see that there's a clerk who had apparently heard the door close behind you as you had entered the room and is now walking into this darkened chamber. As soon as the door opens, you guys are on the opposite side of the door. He walks over towards the lantern in the corner to light it, because the room is dark that you're in. There's nobody in there at the moment. He walks over.

LIAM: Let's go. Out we go.

SAM: Okay, let's go! We're going to run out the door.

MATT: "Oh, wait! Wait!" You guys bolt past into the hallway. You guys dart out to the entrance and out into the night air.

SAM: Wait, out of the hospital or just out of the room?

LIAM: I wasn't saying that, but I don't mind.

SAM: Just out of the room.

MATT: Oh, just out of the room. You guys are out of the room and the person sees you.

LIAM: No, but we'll go down the hall towards the front of the building to look for, I would assume, Fjord and Molly at this point.

MATT: Well, you guys find Fjord there, coughing loudly, while you are currently locked in this room.

TALIESIN: I know. Is there a window?

MATT: There is.

TALIESIN: In the door?

MATT: Yeah. Well, no. There's a door, it's a closed solid door, and there's a window looking outside.

TALIESIN: (cackling) Are there bars on the window?

MATT: There's not. No. There is one cross bar that is maintained, it's more to support the four panes of glass, but that's it.

TALIESIN: All right. I'm going to peek out the door to see if anybody's coming for a minute.

MATT: Peek out the door?

TALIESIN: I mean the little door window.

MATT: Sorry, there's no window in the door.

TALIESIN: No window in the door and the door is locked. Okay. I'm going to start gently meditating on breaking the window, or opening the window if it'll open.

MATT: Okay. While you're meditating on that--

LIAM: Is Fjord alone in this room?

MATT: Fjord is alone in the room.

LIAM: I turn and show him Nott.

SAM: We got to go!

TRAVIS: Did you get anything?

SAM: No.

TRAVIS: Well don't give up! (cough) I walk out towards them. Do you have a privy? I think I shat myself.

MATT: There are two clerks now that were originally fleeing to get help and have come back now with the gentleman with the short brown hair, who's exited the opposite side of the chamber now. "We've brought the doctor." He moves before the doctor, who approaches. "All right, so you appear to be sick."

TRAVIS: Yeah. (cough) I have a terrible cough and apparently my breakfast didn't agree with me and I coughed a little too much and felt a pack in my pants.

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM: Is this the doctor that we saw before?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: 15. 16.

MATT: 16? He goes, "All right. Please have a seat in this chamber."

TRAVIS: I think I got shit in my pants. Can I visit the bathroom real quick? I don't want it running down my thighs and stuff.

MATT: "There's an outhouse about two blocks down outside. Come back -- "

TRAVIS: You don't have anything in the building?

MATT: "Get in the room. We'll get you a pan."

TRAVIS: All right. Yeah. I go in the room.

MATT: You go in the room, and one of them pulls out a metallic bedpan and sets it down on the side.

TRAVIS: Can I have a little privacy while I check my undercarriage?

MATT: They close the door immediately and then turn to you two: “We’ll get to him in a second. What’s your problem?”

LIAM: Fever. She has a fever.

MATT: “Let me see her.” He comes forward and puts his hands out towards Nott.

SAM: (hisses)

MATT: Do you do that? Make an intimidation check with advantage.

SAM: Intimidation? Negative three?! How is that possible? 13.

MATT: 13. The physician goes (screams), falls back. The other two clerks or physician helpers catch him: “Get it out! Get it out! Out! Shoo!”

SAM: I’m going to scamper towards the office if I can, as fast as I can.

MATT: Make an acrobatics check to try and dodge past their grasp as you begin to dart through their--

SAM: Oh god. Nine? They got me. They got me, guys.

MATT: As you run, all of a sudden there’s a tug on your cloak and the same younger physician who had told you to get out is clutching the back of your cloak and lifts you up off the ground. “Well then, someone’s going to play nice with the Crownsguard,” and turns and starts bringing you towards the exit. “You too, outside!”

SAM: Oh no. This couldn’t have gone better.

TRAVIS: Am I in the room by myself?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Can I cast Disguise Self and give myself the same sort of clerk/orderly outfit as…

MATT: Yeah, easily.

TRAVIS: Maybe not looking exactly like one of them, but like them in a uniform.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay. Can I exit the room and come out into the hall?

MATT: You exit out and the two other ones are looking a bit confused. He’s currently dragging Nott who’s flailing on the edge of the cloak, dangling, out into the main area.

TRAVIS: Get him out of here. I walk past them, towards the office where the doctor is.

MATT: Okay. He goes and throws you out onto the street. Pushes you out, Caleb, and goes “Guard!” and begins pointing loudly over there, down in the direction of where you tumbled and landed on the ground.

LIAM: Wait, so who’s where outside?

MATT: You guys got shoved out into the front of the facility. Nott got tossed, landed, and stumbled a few feet, and they’re now shouting for the guard and pointing at Nott.

LIAM: Pointing at us? Okay.

SAM: Enemy of My Enemy now?

LIAM: (groans) That still seems extreme. We should just book it.

SAM: Are you fast? All right, fine. I’m not leaving you. I’m much faster than you.

MATT: You guys start bolting?

SAM: We’re going to start to run.

MATT: As you guys run, they don’t give chase because it’s not their job to do so, but they start shouting and shouting. I want you both to roll stealth checks to try and see if you can avoid the sight of the Crownsguard that are in the process of responding to the shout.

SAM: 15 from me.

LIAM: Only a ten for me.

MATT: Okay. As you guys dart into the nearby shadows, plugging down a few alleyways, you hear some voices in the distance, some conversations, some shouting, and then some footfalls that get loud... and then get a little softer, and eventually a little softer and fade off. You just barely scraped by on that one.

MARISHA and LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: You, however, darted off towards the open office and as soon as you glance in there, you can see there is a desk set up, there is a chair, there are a number of large books and stacks of parchment. It looks like there is a whole rack up top with various medicinal herbs and salves that are categorized into small makeshift cubbies. This is where a lot of the treatment seems to be mustered.

TRAVIS: Can I turn, and as I start to close the door behind me, can I look down the hallway and see if anybody is walking towards me in the hallway. Is it relatively clear?

MATT: Well, it’s clear for the moment, but the man who was just in this office is in the process of throwing Nott outside and is in the process of talking with the Crownsguard. You don’t know how long you have until he returns.

TRAVIS: Can I grab a handful of papers off the desk and put them under my shirt and start walking out?

MATT: You palm a bunch and throw it in there, all right. You exit, just as you see them returning to the hallway with the physician straightening his outfit, making his way in your direction. Doesn’t even make eye contact with you, just brushes by and shoulder-checks you, which is hilarious because the size of your visual is much smaller, so it’s like (impact) “Watch it!” and was two inches away, but doesn’t seem to notice in the moment that he actually did so. Makes his way into the office, you hear the door close behind you, and the two other clerks frustratingly start scattering and making their way to the other chambers. One of them is talking to the other about, “I don’t know what happened. He went crazy and started spitting and was bleeding everywhere,” and they’re both making their way to the door where Molly is in.

TRAVIS: That was very unruly; I need to excuse myself for a moment. I’ll head out of the infirmary.

MATT: Okay. You head back out onto the street. You are in that chamber for a while. Are you doing anything?

TALIESIN: How long has it been?

TRAVIS: I’m heading out of the infirmary and I’m going to start wrapping around the building towards the side of the building that he was in.

TALIESIN: I’m seeing how-- is it possible to open the window?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: God, all these numbers I used to be good at, but I’m not good at anymore. Ten.

MATT: Ten. Nothing easily does so. You can try and pry one of the panes out, but there’s a decent chance it might break in the process if you’re not careful.

TALIESIN: That’s fine.

MATT: You’re going to try? You take one of your blades and you wedge it up underneath where the metal bar is, it’s holding the pane in place to see if you can wedge it out. Go ahead and make a straight dexterity check.

TALIESIN: Nope. One.

MATT: It shatters and breaks on both sides of the window. You watch as the window shatters outward--

TALIESIN: I’m going to jump out of it.

MATT: The pane itself is about that big, so you’re going to take more of the window with you to do it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s okay.

MATT: All right! You shoulder-roll-leap through, shattering the window out of the infirmary, rolling into the alley. You see this happen as Molly is a chaotic spill of glass shards and purple skin.


MATT: You guys bolt. At this point, as you head back, you’ve now seen the guards that have just run off to go after Nott hear the shatter and turn around to begin, some of them, to double back to where the sound of the glass breaking came from.

TRAVIS: Can I point off in a different direction than Molly’s running, since I look like a hospital clerk nurse?

MATT: Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: Carry me. I’m going to jump into your arms while you do that.

LAURA: No, no, he’s pointing the other direction!

MATT: It’s too late!

TALIESIN: Wait, no, I’m trying to understand the scene here. I thought they were looking at him.

MATT: They are.

LAURA: They’re looking at him, but you were running away.

TALIESIN: Well, if I’m already-- because I didn’t know if I was just standing--

MATT: Okay.


MATT: 15. The guards approach and they both look antsy, but they see you pointing away, and they both head in the direction that you were heading them off towards, as Molly’s about to leap into your arms.

TALIESIN: I was already-- towards…

MATT: You guys have managed to find yourselves back into the chaotic evening of the streets of Zadash.

LIAM: I think I was imagining a small mom-and-pop place with two physicians, but like 50 people in white coats came out--

TALIESIN: That was a little more than I was expecting.

MATT: It’s like six.

LIAM: I think it was more like 72, Matt, let’s be honest.

MARISHA: In the meantime, me and Jester are like: What’s taking them so long?

LIAM: Oh, that only took five minutes to go that bad.

MARISHA: He took an hour to cosplay his dick!

MATT: Which is still there, by the way!

TALIESIN: I know, I’m going to save that for later.

TRAVIS: As we’re walking back, can I start looking over the papers, looking for some sort of signature that says Richter or Prucine or anything?

MATT: Yeah. As you guys make your way back to the Leaky Tap to eventually meet up, going through the paperwork, unfortunately, none of them have anything that signifies the High-Richter. They all seem to be various quick notes on bones breaks and resets, on various illnesses that have come through and treatments that have been applied, keeping tabs on return visits. It’s all various notes of--

SAM: Anything from his dad?

MATT: Nothing from Lord Sutan, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it was just on top of the desk.

MATT: If you had possibly searched a little longer, you could have maybe found something, you think, but given the circumstances, it did not occur.

TRAVIS: I don’t really have anything to hold him. Crown of Madness!

MATT: So you didn’t find anything you wanted to, and you probably definitely fucked up a few people’s recovery routine. But that’s fine. You guys eventually find your way back to The Leaky Tap. Your monk and your cleric are waiting for you, and you watch as these four individuals walk in looking a bit haggard.

TRAVIS: Great success. Went off without a hitch.

MARISHA: Why are you covered in mayonnaise and egg?

LAURA: Why do you smell like beer?

MARISHA: And hot sauce? Is that hot sauce?

TALIESIN: That is, in fact, hot sauce. I’m going to empty out my canteen into the fire.

LAURA: Gross.

TALIESIN: I was making a distraction.

TRAVIS: We found Ren. We--

SAM: He’s heavily guarded. There was no way to get close enough.

LAURA: Did you go in and say “Can I speak to Ren?” and then somebody else go in his office while somebody was in the front asking to talk to Ren?

TRAVIS: That’s actually exactly what happened, it just didn’t go as well as you thought it might go.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: Great minds think alike, though, Jester.

TALIESIN: Fools seldom differ.

MARISHA: You guys look real defeated, over here. You look *palpably* defeated.

SAM: We almost had to kill an orderly.


SAM: It’s very embarrassing.

LIAM: That’s true, it came very close.

TRAVIS: How’d it go for you two?

LAURA: Oh, well, we cased out his house. We found a big tree that we can hop the fence with. Oh, and we bought this rope and this grapple so that we can climb.

LIAM: So you looked at the house and then you went shopping?

LAURA: Well, so that we can break into the house, yes.

LIAM: Tight, that’s tight.

TALIESIN: I jumped through a window.

MARISHA: You what?!

TALIESIN: Full glass, it was great.

LAURA: Is that what all of these things are?

TALIESIN: Well, some of those are sequins, but yes, essentially.

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: It was a good dry run for our real heist that we’re going to be doing in a day. So we’re working out the kinks…

TRAVIS: Not promising.

TALIESIN: It’s not about the plan, it’s about the desire to improvise.

LAURA: I cast Cure Wounds on Molly.

TALIESIN: Oh, yay. I had very little, so thank you for that.

MARISHA: You know this could lead back to make it look suspicious if we go after Lord Sutan if his son was just broken into, right?

SAM: Well, don’t worry about that because they definitely saw our real faces.

LIAM: Not my face.

SAM: Oh yes, you’re right. They only saw my real face, so maybe that’s okay.

MARISHA: He’s going to know his medical notes are missing, right?

TRAVIS: It’s an infirmary. They got to see terrible people in there all the time.

LIAM: Yeah, agreed. In hospitals, you see all nature of people.

MARISHA: All right, okay.

LAURA: Yeah, nobody mentioned anything about needing handwriting, right?

SAM: No, no.

LIAM: No, there was not a lot of--

LAURA: No talk of his father at all, right--

LIAM: There was not a lot of talking, in fact.

TALIESIN: It was probably just an attempt to steal medicinals.

MARISHA: Sure, sure. All right.

LAURA: Well, we have Ren’s handwriting. We could potentially put a note in somebody’s house with his stuff, but I don’t know if that’s what the plan is.

MARISHA: Well, I mean, that works because as Dolan said, these fancy people tend to get other people to write their mail and do their paperwork for them, so…

LIAM: Well, it could add credibility to the tapestry that we’re trying to weave here. The goal is still to get into Sutan elder’s home and get this seal.

MARISHA: Yeah, that never changed.

LIAM: Within the writings that we forge we could include some by the junior Sutan, so that would add some credibility to what we’re doing.

TRAVIS: Might get us in past that outer wall, at least.

LIAM: We still have to figure out what we are going to-- if we are starting at Sutan’s house, then… We don’t have any writing of the High-Richter’s; we are either trying to focus on finding that somehow or, going on what you were discussing which is creating the appearance of an underling, or a for-hire of the High-Richter’s, or some kind of code saying that they are communicating with Sutan elder on behalf of the High-Richter, yeah?

MARISHA: Nott, over here, knows a little bit of Thieves’ Cant.

SAM: Do you need me to write something?

MARISHA: It would look shifty.

SAM: I could do that--

MARISHA: I’m just saying, from my experience, normally if you’re trying to do a coup--

LIAM: Experience as a what?

MARISHA: As a rebellious teenage woman. In my experience, normally if you’re trying to do something bad, you’re not like “Dear diary, I did this bad thing. Signed, Beauregard.” You get what I’m putting down?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’d be obvious.

MARISHA: Correct. We want to look-- if it’s too obvious, it’s the opposite of convincing.

TRAVIS: Sign it somebody else’s name.

MARISHA: This guy goes by The Gentleman because he is smart. That’s all I’m saying.

LIAM: We want to put information in Sutan’s house-- elder-- right? We could have some sort of writing that is not from the High-Richter, but that says “H-R would prefer the plans to go into motion--”

LAURA: “H-R wants a meeting with you.”

MARISHA: “Spoke to The Myriad,” yeah…

TALIESIN: “Finalized the plans.”

LIAM: I propose that we make it seem like Sutan and the High-Richter were conspiring to have Orentha killed. So we have a note put into Sutan’s house that says: “On behalf--“ from an intermediary, “On behalf of HR, wants the plan to go into motion immediately and that Orentha will be out for the festival tonight.

LAURA: The Big O. We should say Big O.

LIAM: The Big O. That is good.

SAM: We are so much better than the other people at planning like this.


LIAM: Then we plant that in Sutan elder’s house when we successfully, quietly break in.

LAURA: I’ll start writing that note right now.

SAM: In block letters? Can’t be traced to anyone? That sort of thing?

LIAM: Well, it’s an intermediary, so does not have to look--

MARISHA: It doesn’t really matter.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I’ll make it look crisp and--

SAM: Make it look like evil calligraphy.

LAURA: Yeah, like evil handwriting.

LIAM: This letter perhaps on its own is not enough, but with the seal, if we have a matching letter planted in HR’s home--

LAURA: Yeah. Got your messages. I will move the meeting up and the Big O is going to die for sure.

SAM: Ooh yeah!

MARISHA: And a little bribery if we’re trying to go for something.

LAURA: But where are we going to get this money you keep talking about?

TALIESIN: We can just promise them money.

LAURA: Here’s the thing, having seen people be bribed before: you need very large sums of money for bribing. Especially with rich people. They’re not going to need 500 gold to do this sort of thing, they want 5000 gold for this sort of thing.

MARISHA: It depends. If you’re just handing money off to an assassin. It’s a lowly level person. Might not need much. Doesn’t need to be the whole amount. Just needs to be a payment, maybe.

SAM: A check?

LAURA: A check? An IOU. “On behalf of HR-- ”

LIAM: Keep your writing very plain. Not immensely charming--

SAM: Traceable!

LIAM: No, I mean not charming, like the way you speak.

LAURA: So no hearts above the i’s then?

LIAM: No. No.

LAURA: I write, “On behalf of HR-- ”

LIAM: Yeah, that’s good.

LAURA: What comes after that?

MARISHA: The Big O thing. The plan against the Big O.

LIAM: “HR would like the plan to be moved forward.”

MARISHA: “It will commence-- ”

TRAVIS: “As discussed.”

MARISHA: “Commence as discussed.”

SAM: Sounds official.

LAURA: “On behalf of HR, the plan-- ”

LIAM: “The plan is moving up to tomorrow night, at the festival.”

LAURA: “The plan is moving up to tomorrow night, at the festival.”

LIAM: “The moment has come, and it is time for us to seize it.”

LAURA: That’s what I write.

MATT: Okay. You work out the logistics of that letter--

MARISHA: And it sounds super boss.

LAURA: “Yours truly, forever and ever, your BFF-- ”

SAM: No, no!


SAM: Take out the part where you say, “Do you like me? If so, check this box.”


TALIESIN: I thought that tied the whole thing together.

LAURA: Yeah, I thought it was good.

TRAVIS: And no perfume on the letter.

MARISHA: Aw, you beat me to it! No signing it with a kiss.

LAURA: If I fold it up like a little triangle. Just a simple--

TALIESIN: What kind of dog?

SAM: What?

MARISHA: What kind of dog?

LAURA: Oh wait! Should I fold it or should I scroll it?

SAM: Scroll it! Because we’re going to--

MATT: The guard dog that was outside of the home?

TALIESIN: There’s a guard dog.

MATT: It was a mastiff.

TALIESIN: It was a mastiff? Was it a well-kept dog or-- was it a dog of pride or just a dog of--?

MATT: From what you guys saw of the mastiff, it wasn’t a show dog by any means, but it wasn’t a street dog they’re just using for the moment.

TRAVIS: Was it a talking mastiff?

MATT: One way to find out!

TALIESIN: Does it look like the sort of dog that you can actually be proud of or is it just a utility?

MATT: It looks like it’s a utility dog. You’ve seen some dogs go around with numbers of the crownsguard before as part of the general-- It’s more for an intimidation tactic. They’re rarely ever utilized, but the presence of a dog just make some people, especially those who work in darker categories, unsettled.

TALIESIN: We have a cat.

MARISHA: Can the cat become a mastiff?

LAURA: Can the cat get the dog--

LIAM: To chase it away.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Then someone would have to get the dog back.

SAM: Just shoot the dog with an arrow and kill it.

TALIESIN: I’m just talking about getting the dog-- no!


TALIESIN: Somebody’s going to have to retrieve the dog if the dog goes running.

MARISHA: Here’s the deal, Nott--

LIAM: We don’t want a dead dog.

MARISHA: Yeah. we need to leave no trace. The only way this gets pulled off is if--

TALIESIN: This is the subtle one.

MARISHA: Is if no one thinks anyone was there. Ever.

SAM: Show the dog your dick.

TALIESIN: I’m not showing anybody-- there’s no more of that. What if the dog runs? The guard will have to get the dog back.

LAURA: They’ll chase after the dog.

LIAM: Yeah. Frumpkin can do that very well.

LAURA: We can try that. If it doesn’t work, then we try to jump up and over.

LIAM: Also, sausages are very inexpensive, so we have that as a Plan B.

MARISHA: We also have good ol’ Fjord, who can always disguise himself as a guard.

LAURA: And relieve him.

MARISHA: Correct.

LAURA: Say that somebody really wants him over at the party.

LIAM: Are they private guards, though, or are they crownsguard?

MARISHA and MATT: They were crownsguard.

MATT: They were assigned.

LIAM: Do you know what, Nott, if you want-- one idea, if you want to help, is you can also write a note in your Thieves’ Cant. It should be vague on details, but a message from the Myriad. Or don’t even get that specific, but write, in Thieves’ Cant, a note saying that everything is in place for the festival.

MARISHA: I think that’s a good idea.

SAM: All right. Sure. I need a few papers.

MARISHA: A few papers are always good.

MATT: All right. As you guys work your way through preparing this letter, condensing your plots for the next evening, and eventually find yourself to a night’s rest in preparation for the next day’s events, we’re going to take a break!

LIAM: No, but I think we should go back to the hospital one more time.

MATT: Fucking D&D.

LAURA: Watching your face, Matt, as all that was happening. You were like, what are they doing?

MATT: Those are my favorite moments of the game! I’m like, I don’t-- okay, guys! This is happening! This is all your fault.

TALIESIN: It was a great plan.

MATT: So yes, before we go to break, our friends at Wyrmwood have their giveaway for the evening. You need to be in the Twitch chat room to participate. Right now, the offer's only good for residents of the United States and Canada, excluding Quebec, because, apparently, Quebec. For the official rules, you can find the link in the chat tonight, but tonight it is the Flame Box Elder Deck Box, which is pretty awesome. Oh, and it came with a Magic pack with a guy going (screams).

LIAM: Is he at the hospital?

MARISHA: Why is there a Magic pack in there?

MATT: It's a deck box. The pack comes with it, too. So go ahead and enter into the chat room-- the word for this break is “Heist”. H-E-I-S-T. Remember, only enter it once. If you enter it more than once, you will be disqualified, unfortunately. We'll get to that, and we'll have the winner in the break. In the meantime, we'll see you back here in a few minutes.



Part IIEdit

MATT: Hello, and welcome back, everybody. We have a winner from the chat. Congratulations to PyroMalibu. PyroMalibu is the winner of the box. Denoba will get your information in the chat if he hasn't already, and we'll get that to you, so congratulations. So, as you guys all prepare for the evening’s rest, the next day-- is there anything you needed to do before the next day happens?

SAM: I would like to talk to Caleb. (clears throat) Oh, Caleb? Nott here. I have a favor to ask of you. I absconded with some items recently, and I wanted you to take a look at them with your keen eye.

LIAM: Where did you get these items?

SAM: It was not-- I didn’t break in anywhere-- I mean, we did, but it was cool because other people were with me. It’s when we went down into the basement to scout around for other entrances into the bottom of the Leaky Tap.

LIAM: Under the Leaky Tap? And you found?

SAM: I found a skeleton that had these bracelets on her? Him? They?

LIAM: You found a skeleton?

SAM: Yeah, I don't know. I didn't really have time to look at it.

LIAM: You found a dead person?

SAM: A very old dead person. Could be ancient.

LIAM: Yeah, but it's not really typical to keep a dead skeleton in your basement.

SAM: I didn't think about that, but yes.

TRAVIS: Nor in your closet.

LIAM: Well, that's a topic for the group. We're staying in an inn where there was a dead person.

SAM: I don't think it's haunted or anything. It just seemed like someone-- it was stuffed way in the corner behind some boxes like someone wanted to--

LIAM: Yeah, that's worse. That's not better, that's worse.

SAM: I didn't-- I'm really just interested in these.


LIAM: Okay, well, that's somewhat unsettling, but show me these items that you have.

SAM: These are just bracelets that I found. I was wondering if you could use your magic skills.

LIAM: I place them down on the bed and go through the process of casting Identify on them. It takes about ten minutes.

MATT: Okay. As you finish the focus, you glance down at them, extending your consciousness to see if there's any residual magic energy. They're not enchanted, but they are made of a very nice, solid platinum with a gold spiral lay on them, once you pull the dust off, so they’re probably worth a little bit of money.

LIAM: You should sell these. These are not little and adorable like buttons.

SAM: No, but they're shiny and nice.

LIAM: Do you want to wear them?

SAM: Ooh. Maybe I could.

LIAM: Well, you could. What--

SAM: Are they big?

LIAM: Are they huge for a goblin’s little wrists?

MATT: For a goblin’s wrists, they're pretty big. Looks like they're more-- they may have been made for a more masculine figure’s wrists probably, or a thick-armed lass.

LIAM: Maybe your ankle or calf, you could put them on. Or sell them and then you could put them to use.

SAM: All right. Okay.

LIAM: I'm still a little disturbed that there's a dead person under this inn that we're in right now.

SAM: I understand. Well, we can go back and I can show you, if you'd like, but it didn't seem like--

LIAM: Well, I take your word for it, that it's there. I don't need to go poking about.

SAM: How do you do that? Where you look at something and you just see what it is?

LIAM: Well, it is a spell that I learned when I was--

SAM: It's so cool! It's very impressive.

LIAM: You could potentially learn this as well.

SAM: Really?

LIAM: Of course! If you apply yourself--

SAM: I don't know. You know so many spells and so many things. You're very strong. I'm continually impressed by you, I must say. How strong would you say you are? On a scale of one to 20?

LIAM: How do you mean-- I'm not very strong, Nott. I do have things that I want to do with my life, and I mean to apply myself and study, and find knowledge.

SAM: Is that the way you'll get even stronger? Through study and books?

LIAM: Yeah. That is the best way to do that. For anyone.

SAM: Would magical items help further your abilities or blessings?

LIAM: That seems like an abstract question. There are certainly very useful things that can be found in this world. You never know.

SAM: All right.

LIAM: Are you okay?

SAM: Oh, I'm fine, I'm just fascinated by all things wizard and I want you to succeed, that's all. I have great faith in you, I know you'll do great things, and I just want to help you get there.

LIAM: Well, thank you, friend.

SAM: Sure. Yes. Anything, anything to help the cause.

LIAM: Well, maybe we go to bed and tomorrow we don't tear the roof down off of every building we go into again, yeah?

SAM: Okay. Sounds good.

LIAM: So I take out my silver thread and I start casting the Alarm spell on our room before bed, and then I go to bed.

MATT: All righty. Anybody else have anything to do before the evening's rest, or are you happy to continue the next day?

TRAVIS: Next day for me.

LAURA: (shouting) Pillow fight!

MARISHA: Beau gets a little too aggressive with the pillow fight.

LAURA: Ow, okay. We're done.

MARISHA: Sorry, sorry.

LIAM: Mess with the bull, get the horns.

MATT: All right, so, as the evening comes to a close, the next morning greets you on a somewhat chilled, misty morning, the sky gray, but the light is out. You can see a faint mist is burning off of the streets in the early morning, like six or seven-ish. You all gather yourselves. Is there anything you wish to accomplish during the day, or do you wish to jump ahead to the meeting of the afternoon, the evening?

MARISHA: Should we get some awesome all-black clothes?

LAURA: Maybe we should so that we stealth better.

MARISHA: Yeah, something a little bit more stealthy.

LAURA: We can put it in the pink bag.

MARISHA: Oh, I like that.

TALIESIN: I was thinking some carnival masks, from the other direction.

TRAVIS: Yeah, all black looks like you're up to no good.

LIAM: Yeah, and if you are actually in the dark, you can't tell the difference, and if you're in the light you look like a ninja, so I think we're good, maybe.

MARISHA: I see what you're saying. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Everyone’s going to be pretty fancy-dressed.

LAURA: The carnival is going on today?

MATT: Yeah, the festival is happening this evening.

MARISHA: Do we know anything about this festival, like, culturally? Do they wear masks?

MATT: I mean, the harvest is celebrated at different points, and in a few weeks is the official Harvest End festival. This is done in advance, it's more of a private event that is for the more elite. Some folks come in from out of town, from local smaller townships that are pretty well off and trying to rub elbows with the local elite. It's a festival that contains food, music, drink. You've never been to one, of course, and you've heard of it from the time you spent in Zadash. You've never seen it, but you've seen folks take care through the street towards the event, and it seems to be fairly like a more subdued Mardi Gras colors, but the colors are more reds and browns and golds. They have masks they'll wear for it, but they aren't full face, just habitual eye masks. Only some will, some folks don't get fully into the spirit.

MARISHA: I think we should go shopping.

TALIESIN: Masks on sticks.

MARISHA: Masks on sticks.

LAURA: Well, we're not actually going to the fancy gala, so we probably don't need the fancy stuff, because it's just for the rich people.

MARISHA: But will it get us through the gate?

LAURA: Well, I figure for all of us to get in, we should go through the sewers, probably.

TALIESIN: If someone stops you, if you have a mask, they know why you're there.

LIAM: Yeah, in a pinch.

LAURA: Sure.

LIAM: A lot is riding on Sutan and the High-Richter going to this festival.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: That's it, that's all.


TALIESIN: I was really expecting more there.

LIAM: No, it's just pessimism.

LAURA: Let's go buy some masks, then.

MARISHA: Are you afraid they're not party people?

LIAM: Well, I worry that if we break into Sutan's house and stuff a bunch of letters there, but the High-Richter stays in with a tummy ache, then it all falls apart.

MARISHA: Well, then we go from there.

LAURA: There's no point in worrying about things you can't change yet, Caleb.

MARISHA: She's got a point.

TALIESIN: Be the chaos you want to see in the world.

TRAVIS: Yeah, no point in worrying, it only makes it hurt twice.

LIAM: Yeah, lead the way, I'll be the caboose.

MATT: All right. Who’s helming the expedition to acquire costume pieces?

TRAVIS: Molly.

MATT: Molly, go ahead and make an investigation check.


MATT: I'll say, because of your dress, I'll give you advantage on this.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: Show us where Melrose is.

TALIESIN: Looking for Melrose. 11.

MATT: 11. It takes you the better part of the morning. About noon, you manage to find a place that will sell similar outfits. Since a lot of them are either custom-made for the individuals that are going, it's hard to find a place. There is no shop that sells fancy clothes to the random folks who aren't going to the event, but you manage to find a few individuals that can cobble together a few masks and basic attire. Because it's a quick build, it's going to be a little pricier than normal cost, so the commission will take the better part of the afternoon, and will be ready by sundown for enough outfits for six of you. Or accoutrements.

TALIESIN: I was about to say, I don't need much.

MATT: You'll be fine, it's just a mask. I'd say between all of you, for the time, the materials, and the construction of it, it’ll run you about three gold pieces.

TALIESIN: I'll pay that.

TRAVIS: You'll pay for all of it?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I will get reimbursed at the end.

LIAM: I’ll pick up some sausages.

MATT: Okay. How many sausages do you want?

LIAM: Oh, just the one string of them. Four or five.

SAM: Maybe two strings.

LIAM: Two strings in case.


MATT: In case you get hungry? Fair enough. Okay. That's going to put you back a silver.

LAURA: Oh, and I'm going to write another letter that says something about the Knights of Requital. That says, like-- what should it be? "I'm glad to be working with you! You sure are nice!"

TRAVIS: What about a sign-off, like, "The Knights of Requital are rising."

SAM: What if you take a letter and just sign it “Knights of Requital” and rip off the rest, so who knows what it was, it's just from them.

LAURA: Yeah. I'll end it with, "the big red door. The Knights of Requital." Then rip it, and then it is just the bottom part and leave it in the High-Richter's house.

MARISHA: Leave it in the trash. That's not bad, that's not bad.

LAURA: Oh, can somebody burn the edge like the rest was in the fire or something? Oh, and then we can put it in the fireplace like the rest of the letter was burned!

MARISHA: Man, that is the oldest trick in the book. Sure.

LAURA: Caleb, burn just these edges here.

LIAM: Okay, put it down on the ground.

LAURA: But just the edges, don't set the whole thing on fire, because I spent a really long time writing that little bit.

LIAM: Ah, well, then use a hearth fire or something, because I will probably put that into flames. Also, alternatively, would we want maybe something instead that said that "the Knights are ready for this evening’s pursuits, and they’re to support any endeavors as needed, great High-Richter. It is time for change."

LAURA: I write all of that, okay, fine.

MARISHA: Don't write “the Knights”, though, just write the little symbol.

LAURA: Yeah. Then I'll put the symbol. But I'm also going to keep this one to put in the fireplace, because I think it will be really cool.

LIAM: Yes, the two together, but I worry that just the one piece, she could have written it down on a list of things she does not like, it's not very conclusive. But the two together.

SAM: She doesn't like red doors, she doesn't like the Knights of Requital.

LAURA: Now we have those letters. I'm going to keep track, I'm putting them in the side pouch, those are the side pouch ones.

LIAM: Have you written your letter in your thieves’ thingy that you do?

SAM: Yes. I did. My handwriting is not as good.

LAURA: Is that going in Lord Sutan's place or the High-Richter's place?

LIAM: That's in Sutan's place.

LAURA: So I'm putting that in the other pouch.

LIAM: Good, we want to tie Sutan to the Myriad, and High-Richter to the Knights, and High-Richter and Sutan together. That's the plan.

MARISHA: To fight Orentha, to kill her.

LIAM: Yes, to take that seat. To enact the change that the people need.

LAURA: We are definitely-- this is going to be real good.

MARISHA: I feel so political, you guys. I feel like I'm participating in our politics, in a way.

SAM: It feels nice to participate in a democracy like this.

MARISHA: It does, it feels like I'm making a difference.

SAM: One monk, one vote.


MARISHA: Feels like it matters.

LIAM: Did we get paid in advance, by the way?

LAURA: What are we being paid for this?

MARISHA: Yeah, we didn't get paid in advance. I hope that doesn't come back to bite us.

LIAM: Did we get half of it, even?

TALIESIN: It's for the best, because now there's no paper trail, just in case they are trying to--

LAURA: Is Ulog around? I'm going to look for Ulog.

MATT: Ulog is meeting you guys, you want to try and search for him?

LAURA: I want to look and see if he's around us, though.

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: I can't see shit.

MATT: You have no idea where Ulog is, or if he's in the vicinity, unfortunately. All right, so.

LIAM: We should also-- you're invisible. We should also discuss who's going in, who's outside, how we are tackling each house.

LAURA: I should definitely go into Lord Sutan's place, because I have this really fun spell that lets me find things. So I could find the seal.

LIAM: How does it work?

LAURA: I go, "I want to find this wax seal," and it will help me find the one that’s closest.

LIAM: Then you're right, you should go in. Nott, you should go in, because you're going to pick locks, yeah?

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: If anything is locked. I strongly believe that I should go in as well, because these are two very wealthy, powerful people, and there could be magical--

LAURA: You're going to steal some stuff?

LIAM: Only if that is, you know, easy to do.

MARISHA: Once again, we should leave no trace that we were there.

SAM: Don't worry about that. I'll eat everything we leave behind.

TALIESIN: Now I'm really worried about it, actually.

TRAVIS: I'll be out front, I can be a crownsguard if I need to.

TALIESIN: And I can be in the back and be drunk and lookout.

SAM: Which is our first house that we're attacking?

TRAVIS: Lord Sutan.

SAM: And we know that there's a guard and a dog out there.

MARISHA: Correct, so first--

SAM: So you guys need to distract the guard.

MARISHA: With the cat. We've got the cat plan.

SAM: And the sausage.

LIAM: And the sausage, just in case.

LAURA: Sausage for the guard, cat for the dog.

LIAM: Regardless, even if this goes belly-up, we just disappear. You know, we have no ties to this, we walk away, yeah? We just get out with our skins, even if things go as badly as they did at the hospital, and then we go, we just walk away.

MARISHA: Yeah, the last thing we want is for the crownsguard to think that this was all us.

LAURA: Where are we meeting Ulog?

MARISHA: In front of the--

MARISHA and TRAVIS: Song and Supper Inn.

LIAM: Oh also, Frumpkin is up here in my sort of scarf position, and I bring him down in my lap, and I take the sausages out, and I sort of like knead one of the sausages in my hand a bit, and I say, you know, I'm sorry, but the next time that you go off to your pocket place and come back, this will be gone. And I start squishing sausage grease into his hair, and rubbing it down his back so that he smells like sausage.

TALIESIN: That's a very good plan.

LIAM: I love you very much, so thank you for this, okay?

(angry cat noises)

LAURA: Do you want to eat him even more now?

LIAM: Some other time, perhaps.

SAM: I'll drink instead.

MATT: You gather the outfits that were commissioned for you. You have your materials. As the day grows later, eventually the sun begins to crest over the western mountain range. The sky, though cloudy still, the colors begin to shift to the oranges and purples of dusk. You begin to see carriages come through the streets and make their way towards the Tri-Spires district.

LAURA: Oh, I wonder if we can hide under the carriages and just ride in.

MARISHA: I was going to say, can we hop a ride?

MATT: One of the carriages just passed you, and it's about a block up the way if you want to try and catch up.

MARISHA: No, that brings a lot of attention, chasing after a carriage.

LAURA: It's all about trying to get into the sewer system.

SAM: Can't we just go to the sewers?

LAURA: Let's just go to the sewers.

MATT: All right. As you guys head back towards the entryway to the sewers, where you had previously been, with your various outfits and attire, you can see now, there's not two crownsguards, there's a single crownsguard at the moment. You approach and you see they're not directly against the grate, they're across the street. It doesn't appear to be watched at the moment.

SAM: The gate?

MATT: The entranceway into the sewers.

LAURA: Maybe I can go talk to the guard. Distract him?

SAM: It seems like they're not looking right now.

LAURA: Oh, he's not even looking at the gate?

SAM: No, they're not looking, we can just go.

MATT: Well, he's not looking at the entranceway to the sewer.

MARISHA: That doesn't mean that won't change in 30 seconds.

LAURA: It's dark outside, too?

MATT: Yes, but there are lanterns and stuff up on the side of the street.

MARISHA: Do you want to distract him and we'll meet you on the other side?

LAURA: Oh, sure! I'll go meet you at the sewer entrance on the other side.

MARISHA: Okay. Nott or Caleb can send you a message.

LAURA: Okay. I walk up to the guard.

MATT: Okay. "Evening."

LAURA: Evening, how are you doing today?

MATT: "I am well, how are you?"

LAURA: Pretty good. I was wondering if you could answer a question for me.

MATT: Everybody else, roll a stealth check, please.

LAURA: I was looking around this area earlier for a candy shop and I couldn't find *anything* that seemed good. I was wondering if you could point me in the best direction.

MATT: "Try the Pentamarket, probably."

LAURA: The Pentamarket, um, okay. Can you tell me exactly where that is? Because I'm not familiar with the area.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: Oh no. Oh, that's okay. 19!

MATT: "All right, so down this way--" and he starts giving you the full play-by-play of the street corners to the Pentamarket where a candy shop is that you had missed earlier. So now you know there's a candy shop in Zadash.


MATT: As it's happening. What did you roll?



LIAM: Eight.

SAM: Natural one.

LAURA: Oh, come on.


MATT: Hold on, so a natural one, eight, 19, 15. Okay, natural one’s tricky.

SAM: Plus eight.

MATT: Still a natural one. But, yeah, that brings it to nine. As you guys begin to quickly slide in, one after the other, Nott, as you're rushing down, you're glancing off, because you hear them talk about candy for a second over the side.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: As you rush down the side, whack! You hit your head and give out a natural instinct, a pained squeak, as you do. The guard who's talking to Jester goes, “Wha--”

LAURA: (fake coughs loudly) Can you help me? I think I’m choking.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: Oh no. Seven.

MATT: Seven.

LAURA: (fake coughs loudly)

MATT: “Hold. Just a second.”

LAURA: Oh no, I can’t breathe at all, though.

MATT: He begins walking over to the sewer edge. He steps over and begins to glance down--

LAURA: I fall over on the ground and really like (choking sounds).

MATT: He’s looking back at you like--

LIAM: I send Frumpkin screeching away from us, up the street, clattering into anything.

MATT: From where? Out of the sewer, you mean?

LIAM: Yeah, out of the sewer, yeah. I pop him back up.

MATT: As soon as Frumpkin-- He kicks and--


MATT: Misses.


SAM: It’s the same guy!

LIAM: Caleb appears at the sewer like Pennywise the Clown.

MARISHA: Why is that their natural response in this town?

MATT: Well, he got scared by the cat! The first guy was a dick, this guy was (yells), like kicking wildly. Anyway. He falls back and Frumpkin runs off. He’s like (grunts). It seems to be enough to take him off the scent of Nott, and he turns around. “Miss?” He walks up and helps you up.

LAURA: Oh, it was my spit. I was choking on my own spit.

MATT: Right, all right. Well, go get your candy. Have a good night.

LAURA: Thank you very much for all of your help.

MATT: (sighs) He goes back to his post. You guys make your way through the sewer, back up through the T-intersection--

TRAVIS: Mindful of the damn rats.

MARISHA: Rat-balloons.

LIAM: I held back two minutes to let Frumpkin quietly come back.

MATT: All right. Fair enough. Frumpkin does slowly make his way back to join you. You make your way towards the gate and, without issue, are entered into the Tri-Spires. You make your way towards the side of the alleyway where the--

LAURA: Oh, we didn’t meet the guy at the Song and Supper.

MATT: You did not.

MARISHA: Oh fuck!

SAM: What guy?

MARISHA: Shit! We were supposed to go fucking meet Ulog! Damn it!

TALIESIN: We’re so good at this.

MATT: Jester, do you want to go do that?

LAURA: Yeah, I just remembered it. I’m going to the Song and Supper Inn.

TALIESIN: We’re going to sit in the sewer like so much clown.

MARISHA: We recapped this at the break, too! Damn it!

MATT: You guys are sitting there, waiting for Jester to show up and meet you to let you out.

SAM: I cast Message a few times. We’re here. Where are you?

TRAVIS: Where letter-R letter-U?

MATT: You, however, you make your way to the Song and Supper, and on the inside, you can see, nervously at a table, in a dark cloak, Ulog. “What the--?” Gets up and meets you outside, shoves you back out there and you both begin to walk side-by-side. “I was waiting here long enough!”

LAURA: We were waiting for you! It’s so weird that we totally missed you, though.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: Well, well, well, 11.

MATT: He goes, “Right. Well, where’s the rest of your team?”

LAURA: They are-- Here’s the thing. How rich do you look? How rich does he look?

MATT: He looks down and he has fairly plain dark clothing for night-stealthing. He has like a single-- looks like a gold chain of some kind with a single yellowish amber-orange bead on it that looks like it’s worth a gold or two. Dark green-brown cloak. It’s hard to see the color, this late at night. He doesn’t look super rich.

LAURA: Can I put some of my costume on him?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: I’ll put some of my festive wear on him.

MATT: You put some of the festive wear on him. It’s all not at all fitted for him and it looks like a kid who has outgrown his snow-outfit and he’s like-- “This is humiliating.”

LAURA: It’ll get you in the door, don’t worry. Here, put this mask on.

MATT: He’s seething beneath it. You can see him grinding his teeth, but he follows you nevertheless.

TALIESIN: Candy-themed, too.

LAURA: Oh, that’s great!

MATT: You make your way to the gate once more. The guards there-- One of them walks up and, the same one from earlier, gives you a nod. “Hold.”

LAURA: Guest of honor for the night. He’s a comedian.

MATT: Make another deception check.

LAURA: Come on! It is being so mean! Seven. God damn it.

MATT: He goes, “A comedian. Tell me a joke.”

MARISHA: Oh, come on, Ulog!

MATT: Ulog looks at you with the mask, back at the guard. “Um--”

MARISHA: It’s open mic night! You got this!


MATT: He goes, “What do you call the king on his birthday?” The crownsguard goes, “I don’t know. What do you call a king on his birthday?” “An arsehole.” The guard goes--

LAURA: Here’s the thing. He’s not a joke-telling kind of comedian. He’s more of a farce kind of comedian. Physical comedy. It’s more like a jester, if you will. And I push him in, so he falls down. See?

MATT: (impact noise) At which point the two guards go (laugh)

LAURA: (claps) He’s so good. He really sells it.

MATT: Ulog like gets off the ground and glares at you this very furious fiery stare and then gets up and then stumbles again and falls on the ground, flat again. The guards go (laugh) “All right get in.” Ulog now has like a bloody nose and as you ushers him in, he looks back. “Oh, we’re going to talk later.”

LAURA: But I got you in the door, right?

MATT: You eventually make your way over to the edge of the alley, coming up to the hatch that leads you out of the sewer. There you guys see the two approaching shapes of Jester and Ulog. Ulog looking festive, if the wear is a bit tiny, making his hair and beard (poof) -- out of the side of the mask.

MARISHA: (pigeon coos)

SAM: Where have you been?

LAURA: I got Ulog.

MARISHA: Oh shit! We almost forgot about Ulog!

LAURA: I know!

MARISHA: Oh shit!

SAM: What’s Ulog’s job in this?

LAURA: I have no freaking clue! Hey Ulog, what do you want to do?

MATT: “Well, first off, I’m pretty keen at infiltration. I have a long past of doing sort of the breaking and entering thing. Plus, I want to be there when this happens. Got a personal stake.”

TRAVIS: Yeah, he should be a part of the team that goes in.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: How well do you know Lord Sutan’s place and the area?

MATT: “I know the area alright.”

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: We cased it earlier.

MATT: “Do you think you know where he lives?”

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: “All right. That’s all we need. The rest we can all do. Lead on.”

LIAM: Can I insight check him? Just get a feel for that.

MATT: Yeah, go for it.

LIAM: That is 17.

MATT: 17.

SAM: Whispers! Whispers!

TALIESIN: Mysterious whispers!

SAM: D&D Beyond!

TRAVIS: And Far Cry 5!


SAM: Far Cry 5! It’s five better than Far Cry 0.

TRAVIS: Or four better than the original.

MARISHA: The fiviest.

SAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Takes place in America.

SAM: Montana.

LIAM: Guys, it’s Larkin.

MATT: Well there goes the campaign. As you guys make your way through the city streets, you can see the closer you get to the Silken Terrace, for one, the usual silk banners that adorn the various edges of the streets have been changed from the usual white silk banners to bright yellows, bright browns, bright reds. The colors of autumn are now starting to show and appear throughout the vicinity.

MARISHA: I hate the color yellow.

TRAVIS: Really? Why?

MARISHA: I just hate it.

LAURA: It would look really pretty on you.

TALIESIN: I don’t think that’s true.

SAM: No, I don’t think so.

LAURA: I think yellow would look good on you.

TALIESIN: The blue works. Stick with it, you know.

SAM: More of a spring…

MATT: You also hear the music begin to swell at the various performing bands towards the center where this gala is. You can see all the banners leaning in the center space. The sunset colors have vanished and now the night sky holds above. The Crownsguard are clustered in greater numbers in the Tri-Spire, specifically to keep a perimeter around the event. As you glance off to the entrance gate where you were, you can see there’s now stationed more towards that space, since you originally passed through. More musicians are arriving, some locally, some appear to be from other areas within the actual Empire. The social elite are gathering in the center of the Silken Terrace and you can now see the small carriages are stopping and letting other individuals out to join the crowds, the mingling beginning. You can already see about 60 or 70 people, with more still arriving. They all have their various colors and masks on. They’re all grabbing drinks and laughing and seeing old friends and introducing themselves to new people they haven’t met before. Some of them live in the Tri-Spire, some that live throughout and beyond.

MARISHA: Any of them look familiar?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil! Meh, you kind of fucked me there.

LIAM: May I also do the same thing?


MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: No, no good. Eight.

MATT: Unfortunately, you’re too far away and the masks obscure any of sort of details. You’re unable to see anyone you recognize, per se. But you do see that there are long tables that mark the perimeter that are already holding already preset glasses of wine and ciders. You can see the central tower of the Triumph Chime sits glowing right at the front and center of this gala. It’s all surrounding the base of it. And up in a spiral you can see lanterns and a similar colors of autumn that spiral up the front of it. You guys begin to, carefully, and out of sight, make your way towards the estate of Lord Sutan. Please make stealth checks, everybody.

LIAM: This is a lot of people.

LAURA: Oh wait. Who sucks?


LIAM: I rolled well.

LAURA: Who hasn’t rolled yet? Taliesin I give you a blessing.

TALIESIN: All right. Advantage. That’s awesome.


MARISHA: Why does it feel like you roll crappier when you’re lower level? 13.

LIAM: 17.

SAM: 13.

LAURA: 20.



MATT: Pretty good spread. You guys duck in between, avoiding being seen and blend in with the crowd as you pass other individuals that are making their way to the actual Gala event. There are nods and smiles, occasional laugh, as folks are conversing and chatting as they pass. You make your way over to the outskirts of the Gilded Willows, beyond the Skyscape Park and where the Constellation Bridge tower stands, to see, for many of you the first time, the three-story dark wood home of Lord Sutan. The marble pillars mark the cornerstones of where the metallic iron fence gate matches the perimeter. There’s a singular tree and still there are two guards posted at one and the same guard with the dog at the other.

MARISHA: Same guard.

SAM: Must be getting tired.

LIAM: I’m sorry. Can you set the scene? Two guards at one end and one at the other?

MATT: Well it’s been a day later.

MARISHA: Are we catching them around the same time? This is his shift. Same watch.

MATT: Seems to be.

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: And it’s like corner-corner or front and back or…?

MATT: If look at the-- if the building’s a square. The house is mainly built as a rectangle, there’s the front door and the back where the cellar door is and there’s the perimeter fence.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: In the front, there are two guards. In the back, where the gate and the cellar door is, there’s a singular guard and his dog. The tree is up on this side.

LAURA: But there’s still a gate--

MARISHA: All the way around. With the spikes.

LIAM: The guard with the dog is within this perimeter of fence?

MATT: It’s just on the interior of it. Just in the gate.

MARISHA: And the gate is closed.

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: How wide are the openings in the gate? Does it look like the mastiff could get through the openings in the wrought-iron fence?

MATT: Probably not, no.

MARISHA: But he can still be enough of a distraction to get the guard to chase the dog while we get in if we can get the dog--

LIAM: To the frontside of the home.

MARISHA: Maybe to the frontside.

LIAM: Maybe temporary though.

SAM: We can get in through the gate and then we get to the tree or we’re going to go straight into the cellar?

MARISHA: That’s what I was thinking. Go into the cellar.

LAURA: We could use the tree to get over the fence and then run to the cellar.

MARISHA: As soon as the dog chases away the cat.

LIAM: Yeah, but what about our exit? Because we have to come back out.


SAM: We worry about that later?

LIAM: No, no, we worry about that now.

MARISHA: Maybe that’s when Fjord can come and relieve the guards?

LAURA: Ulog, what do you think?

TRAVIS: I can do that now.

MARISHA: Or he can do that now. But how do we get Fjord on the other side of the gate?

LAURA: He walks up to him and say--

SAM: That’s very risky now because what if the guards says “I don’t know you,” you know? Then the plan never starts. If we do that at the end, at least we have a fighting chance.

TRAVIS: That’s true. I could wait.

LIAM: I don’t like being stuck in there though.

LAURA: Ulog? What do you think? You’re really good at this.

MATT: “Who’s staying outside?”



MATT: The two of you. All right.

MARISHA: What were those guards’ names? There were so many guards.

TALIESIN: What *were* those guards’ names?

LAURA: That was at the High-Richter’s house. That wasn’t here.

TRAVIS: Yeah that was at the High-Richter’s.

MARISHA: Yeah, but as long as you do a guard that’s semi-recognizable.

MATT: “If we can manage, if what you’re saying about this tree, we can possibly scoot past their visual range and not have to worry about it. And just use that as a backup.”

LAURA: Right.

MATT: “But we got to climb the tree.”

LAURA: We can climb a tree. We’re good at that.

TRAVIS: The tree means worst case scenario

LAURA: And I got this grapple, so we can swing across to the roof on the other side.

MATT: “All right. Those that are staying at the base. The rest of us, let’s get to climbing.”

TALIESIN: If we hear the dog bark, we can walk by.

LIAM: Also, I have another question. How far from the fence to the home?

MATT: It’s about five feet.

LIAM: Five feet only.

MARISHA: Yeah, but spikes.

LIAM: I’m rethinking. If Frumpkin gets away from this dog in the beginning, he can run outside the fence and he will not be far from me. I can stay in touch with him, so when it’s time to leave I can have Frumpkin reenter the yard and create mayhem a second time.

LAURA: Or let him create it the first time, because we might not need it.

LIAM: We might not, but if we have no other option and we’re trying to get out and there’s guards in both places, Frumpkin can come in and create mayhem again. Anyway, just an option.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "We get to the top, you use your little cat thing to distract it. Preferably the other side of the fence."

LIAM: He's just a cat.

MATT: "Right. Your cat. On the other side of the fence. While they're faced and focused in that direction, we make our ascent."

LAURA: We swing it over. Somebody needs to make a loud noise when we throw the grapple over.

SAM: You can cough or something.

LAURA: So that it doesn't make a clang sound that they hear.

MATT: "That might be on one of you."

LIAM: A natural sound.

MATT: "All right."

SAM: I will signal you when we are grapple throwing.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: If you also hear me make the same sound again, that means trouble.

LAURA: I could maybe use, like, Thaumaturgy to create a thunder sound.

SAM: Ooh, that's good.

LAURA: If it happens at the same time.

LIAM: What is the weather like, though?

MATT: "Actually not a bad idea."

LAURA: Okay, I'll do that.

MATT: "All right."

LIAM: How's the weather? How's the weather; is it clear or grey?

LAURA: Sometimes thunder happens out of nowhere.

MATT: It's cloudy.The sky itself is cloudy, and has been. Even though the storm blew by, it's still pretty heavy cloud cover.

LAURA: Oh, good.

MARISHA: All right. Up the tree!

TALIESIN: If you hear me make noise--

MATT: Those who are climbing the tree, athletics checks please.

MARISHA: I'll go first, so I can try and help anyone else as I go up. Can I do that?

MATT: Yeah, you can do that. So Beau goes first.

MARISHA: Athletics or acrobatics?

MATT: For climbing, we'll say athletics.

MARISHA: (whimpers)

TALIESIN: Parkour.

MATT: It doesn't have a lot of branches.

MARISHA: But parkour.

LAURA: Do we get advantage because Beau's helping us?

MARISHA: That's not great--

LIAM: Well, she's got to get up there first.

MARISHA: I got to get up there.

LIAM: She didn't roll that good.


MATT: Eight? Well, you're not helping anybody. (chuckles) You get partway up, and Ulog is actually, like (grunting). He's doing fine. So he pushes you up the rest of the way.

MARISHA: Give me a boost!


MARISHA: (whispers) Sorry!

SAM: I rolled an 18.

MATT: You climb up fine, skittering up past them. You actually climb over Beau and Ulog to get to the top first.

SAM: Watch my nails.

LAURA: I rolled 11.

MATT: 11? That's fine.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You manage to get up there. And Caleb?

LIAM: 17.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: You guys all get up there. Beau is the last to arrive.

MARISHA: (pants)

SAM: I thought you were a monk of some sort.

MARISHA: I'm sprinter. I'm not an endurance person. Okay?

MATT: It's one if those things, too, where she starts first, but each person keeps putting their feet in her face on the way up.

SAM: You're all legs and no arms.

MATT: Okay, you guys get up to the top of the tree.

MARISHA: I’m working on it!

MATT: You're up in the branches, in the bow, at the top. You can see now, it's a beautiful view of the gala in the distance. You can see the three towers, all arcing up, all lit from underneath from the lanterns and the light that have been significantly brightened for the events of the evening. You have a clear shot of the rooftop, which is at a slight decline from this current position. It's about ten feet from you, and about three feet down below. You can see there are two smokestacks that look like they're attached to fire places that might be good indicators of places to connect the rope. Who's throwing the rope?

LAURA: Should I try it?

MARISHA: You're strongest.

SAM: What is this? Why do--?

LAURA: It's a grapple. Connected to a rope.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: So I hand the other side of the rope to Ulog so it doesn't fall.

MATT: He takes it. He's like, "All right. You got to be pretty good at aiming this."

SAM: Yeah, are you?

MATT: "It's about 15, 20 feet from here."

LAURA: Well, I'm strong.

MATT: "But can you aim it?"

LAURA: Yeah, but you're weak, aren't you?

SAM: I don't know. I feel like I'm more precise than you. But, no, you're strong. You go for it.

LAURA: No, but you're precise.

SAM: I don't--

LIAM: Frumpkin is pacing back and forth just outside the fence.

SAM: Parchment, boulder, shears?

LAURA: Yeah. On three?

SAM: Yes, on three. One. Two. Three! Okay, you're throwing it.

LAURA: Okay, I'll throw it.

MATT: So go ahead and roll a d20 and add your strength modifier.

SAM: Ooh, strength.

LAURA: Oh, that was good, okay. 11. No! 12.

MATT: You throw it. Tink, tink.

LAURA: Thunder, thunder! When I did it.

MATT: Okay. There's this roll of thunder off in the distance. It didn't catch anything, though, and it's scraping. Pulling back a little bit--

LAURA: More thunder.

SAM: Oh, no. It's not staying?

LAURA: Another thunder.

SAM: It's not staying on?

MATT: It didn't manage to. It got over to the roof, but it didn't catch anything.

MARISHA: Oh, god.

SAM: Reel it back in. Reel it back in!

LAURA: Okay, I do--

MARISHA: Don't let it get caught.

SAM: Reel it back in!

LAURA: I do another thunder sound right when I pull it, so it doesn't make noise.

MATT: Okay. So you pull it and it scrapes, falls, and then dangles down. You manage to pull it up a little bit, dangle it up, yeah.

SAM: Give me that. Give me that!

LAURA: Here! It is a strength thing, though.

SAM: (squeaks)

MATT: Are you just throwing it?

LAURA: Thunder.

SAM: Yes. Natural one.


MATT: All right. So.

SAM: We've lost our grapple.

LAURA: No. No, Ulog was holding onto the end of it.

MATT: He was holding the other side of it. The grapple arcs up really high, and arcs past. There's a brief moment where you see it go up, and then pass by you, heading down towards the wall. Is anyone going to do anything?

LAURA: I catch-- I try to catch the rope to try to keep it from hitting the ground.

MATT: You could try.

SAM: Oh boy.


SAM: Try!

LAURA: I'll try.

MARISHA: I don't know what to do!

SAM: Try!

LAURA: I did; I tried!

MATT: Go ahead and roll.

MARISHA: I'm sorry. Can I also get a-- Is it flying out of our grasp; is that what’s happening?

MATT: It looks like it’s just out of the grasp. She's going to try, so go ahead and roll a d20.

MARISHA: She's going to try and catch it.

MATT: Just roll a d20.

LAURA: I rolled a 19. I don't know what I'm adding.

MATT: Yeah. That's fine. So you manage to just catch it, holding onto the edge of the rope, before it clanks onto the ground. It's just dangling now.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: You pull it slowly back up.


SAM: I thought the--

MARISHA: Hang on. Maybe if I--

SAM: You said strength. I threw it as hard as I could throw it.

MARISHA: Quiet, shut up!

SAM: Thunder!

MARISHA: (whispers) Okay, maybe if I get over, I could hold the other end and help people.

SAM: You can jump it?

LAURA: You can jump ten feet?

MARISHA: I think I can.

SAM: Oh god.

LAURA: Oh, dear lord. What if you fall on the ground, Beau?

TRAVIS: Let this happen. Let this happen.

MARISHA: Look, we're basically gods, okay?


MARISHA: I can make this jump.

MATT: You going to try?

MARISHA: I'm going to cast step of the wind-- Sorry, not cast it. I'm going to use a ki point. I'm going to take a (breathes deeply), gather my chi. Along the edge of the branch anime run--

MATT: Okay. And leap. Make an athletics check. I'll give you advantage because of the step of the wind.

MARISHA: Step of the wind gives me, like, double jump distance, or triple jump--dump jist-- (slurs words)

SAM: Triple dump!

TRAVIS: Triple dungeness crabs.

TALIESIN: Oh, we had ring of truth cast. You can't lie.

SAM: Taliesin did a triple dump earlier.

TALIESIN: I did. Solid.

MARISHA: Hang on.

MATT: Your jump distance is doubled! Yeah, you're fine.

MARISHA: (victorious laughter)

MATT: You're fine.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Just roll for the hell of it. I just want to see what happens.

LAURA: Just so it's not a one. No ones!

SAM: It won't be a one.

MARISHA: I don't trust Gil right now. I'm not going to trust Gil.

TALIESIN: He's questioning your ki.

MARISHA: I'm going to go with cobalt die.

ALL: Yeah.

MARISHA: Natural 18.

LIAM: Yeah!

MATT: You, off the branch, leap. No sound.

MARISHA: I go along the rope, and tighten the rope as I land.

LAURA: The rope's not-- Oh, were you holding onto the grapple?

TALIESIN: She's got the other end.

MARISHA: I was, like, tracing the rope.

MATT: You grab it, affix it easily to one of the smokestacks you find up there.

LIAM: She is really cool.

MATT: All right.

SAM: She's amazing.

LAURA: Great. So we'll tie off the other side-- Yeah.

MATT: Ulog takes it and ties the other side of the rope. You guys can all begin to shimmy across and make your way.

LAURA: (whispers) We shimmy.

MARISHA: (whispers) Shimmy.

MATT: So. The rope is set up. Are you guys just going to shimmy across?

SAM: Sure.

MARISHA: When do we do the cat?

SAM: Oh wait, do we have to cast-- Do we have to have a-- Distraction!

MARISHA: The cat.

SAM: Oh, we're going to shimmy across. Because what if the guard looks up and sees us?

LIAM: Only, Frumpkin is down at the bottom of the tree. He runs around and--

SAM: So we do that now!

LIAM: Yeah. I think--

LAURA: Well, we do that--

SAM: Now!

LAURA: When we lower into the cellar, right when--

SAM: No, we're going through the roof now, I thought. No?

LAURA: Well how--?

LIAM: Wait, hold on. Is there entry through the roof?

MARISHA: You're not there. You can't see it from here.

LIAM: We can't see from here?

MARISHA: There is a chimney stack, though, right?

LIAM: A chimney stack?

MATT: There are two chimney stacks.

LIAM: We're not Santa Claus!

TRAVIS: We are now.


LAURA: Is there a door on the roof? How would there be a stupid door on the roof?

SAM: There could be.

TALIESIN: Sometimes there's balconies.

LIAM: Yeah, there could be a balcony, windows.

LAURA: There's no balconies.

MATT: There's no balconies on this house.

SAM: Look around for a door on the roof!

MARISHA: What? Who would have a door on the roof?

SAM: Rich people.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: I look around. Is there a door on the roof?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Maybe like an attic access or something?

TALIESIN: French roof.


MATT: 18? You don't find an entry way per se. One of the chimneys is wide enough for someone to pass through. It looks like there is a part of the roof that, if you were to try and remove some of the shingles, there might be some sort of entrance below it.


MATT: You're on an angle there, on each side.

MARISHA: It looks like they need to re-roof. Like they haven't done it in about 15 years. Right?

SAM: Sure.

MARISHA: So maybe we could get in. Or, go through the cellar. Or, be like Santa Claus.

LAURA: I think we should go in through the roof.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's shimmy across. Make the distraction now.

LAURA: We already shimmied.

SAM: No we didn't!


MATT: Not yet.

MARISHA: It's happening now. It's real time. Real time!


MARISHA: I think.

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: I'm sending Frumpkin now, okay?

SAM: Go. Sausage cat!

MATT: You watch as Frumpkin runs past (cat yowling) outside of the gate. Immediately (dog barking). He's like, "No!" (guard stuttering) The dog drags him to the opposite side, like around the outside, into the fence and is now trying to bite. And Frumpkin's on the other side of the fence, going (meows and hisses). (barking), right into the fence. The guy's still holding back, like "Shit, no, stop! God, stop it!" Is pulling. You guys all make it across--no one seems to notice, none the wiser--onto the roof.

LAURA: Hey, Nott. Send a message to Fjord and say, "Hey, did we look cool, just then?"

SAM: Okay, I take out my little piece of wire and I whisper the incantation and do the motions. “Hey, Fjord, Jester wants to know: Did we look cool? (You can respond to this message.)”


TRAVIS: Did they go already?

SAM: He said, "Did they go already?"


TALIESIN: I heard a dog barking. I feel that this plan was no better than ours.

MATT: You guys are watching; you guys are on…?

TALIESIN: We’re keeping an eye on the street. We're keeping an eye on everything.

MATT: Perception check from both you guys.

LIAM: Where are they in relation to us too, by the way?

MATT: That's up to them.

TALIESIN: I think we're on a corner, like far enough away from the house not to be a problem.

LIAM: I want to know if you're within view of the guard with the dog's initial position.



MATT: Okay. Keeping an eye out there, there isn't any, at the moment, notable individuals wandering towards, or snooping around the house or your position. So you feel pretty safe.

TALIESIN: You look like a guard.

TRAVIS: Not yet. I should. Yeah, I'll wander into an alley.

MATT: And change into a crownsguard?


MATT: Okay. Got it.

TALIESIN: I got my cards out.

MATT: You guys, you are on the roof.

MARISHA: There was a guard named Cloen, who was the guard who saw the spider.

MATT: There are two chimneys.

MARISHA: Just throwing that out there.

MATT: There is the slight roof thing that you saw.

LIAM: So what I would do is also, once we're in position on the roof, is I would tell Frumpkin to back off away from that dog, out of vision, and wait a few minutes, because he's within a hundred feet of me. If so, we're good. Tell him to find Molly, and sit with Molly. He'll always listen to me, but I'm also sending him the command to listen to Molly, if need be.

MATT: Easy enough to do. All right. So.

LIAM: You don't know that. But, still.

TALIESIN: I don't know that, but.

MATT: The barking slows. The dog is still barking in the direction of what was there, and seems to be still really entranced with the possibility of getting that fucking cat. Frumpkin does find his way to you, Molly. Guys on the roof, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Got to get through this roof.

LIAM: What were you saying? I did not hear you.

LAURA: Pry at the shingles. Look at how deep these go.

SAM: I'm going to go down the chimney.

LIAM: Yeah, good, we covered-- If we do the shingles, how do we cover them up when we leave? We're trying to leave no trace.

LAURA: Who gives a shit? Who's going to be on the fucking roof?

SAM: No one's going to look at the roof, right?

MARISHA: I step around. How do the shingles feel?

MATT: Some of them loosen and slip a little bit, and you can see there's a very, very faint groove on the wood beneath it.

SAM: Let’s go through the chimney!

LAURA: Not everyone can fit through the chimney.


MATT: Like a gap.


SAM: What?

MARISHA: Do you have a dagger?

SAM: I have a shortsword.

MARISHA: Can I borrow it?

LIAM: I have a dagger.

MARISHA: Can I borrow any bladed thing? Thank you.

SAM: I don't like to lend my items out.

MARISHA: I'm going to jack it up and see if I can--

LAURA: I cast thunder. Thaumaturgy.

MATT: Okay. (thunder rumbling) off in the distance. As you begin to pry a little bit, it begins to move up. There is some sort of a hatch.

MARISHA: Does it feel like a trap door?

MATT: It feels like a trap door a little bit.

MARISHA: Oh, my god.

MATT: As it's pulling up, the shingles that are overlapped on it are overlapping the gap and start sliding a little bit. You immediately feel like if you open this, you're going to send a bunch of shingles sliding off of the roof.

LIAM: No, get them. Get them.

SAM: Let's go down the chimney. At least I can go down there and look to see if it's possible.

MATT: There is a very faint trail of smoke coming out of the chimney, by the way.

LAURA: There's a fire in there. What if we pull up these shingles?

MARISHA: Yeah, pull up the shingles.

LAURA: And, like, stack them.

MATT: So you begin to collect them. Where are you putting them?

SAM: In the haversack!

LAURA: In the bag.

MATT: Okay. So you take a moment to go ahead and carefully-- You have a collection now of roughly 23 roof shingles in your haversack.

TALIESIN: This is getting ridiculous.

MARISHA: Those could be valuable.

MATT: So you can add that to your equipment.

MARISHA: Are they clay shingles? Very valuable.

LIAM: Look out, giant red dragons.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: We'll say it takes you about five minutes or so to finally get all those off carefully. You manage to pry it open, and it opens up ever so slightly, and there's a chain on each end that prevent it from (slamming open). It opens up just enough that you can slip inside, and there is a small ladder there that you can use to slowly get down into a small attic.

LAURA: I'll hold it open if you guys go scout.

MARISHA: Okay. Do you want to let them know that we're going in?

SAM: Yes. I pull out my thing, and I do my thing.

MARISHA: Then Beau will go down first.

SAM: We're going in, to the house. (You can respond to this message.) They're dead.

LIAM: I drop in after Beauregard and I cast Detect Magic immediately.

SAM: They're dead. We should go back for them.

MATT: Okay. You cast Detect Magic.

LIAM: 30 feet.

TRAVIS: They're going in the house.

MATT: Right, 30 feet in the vicinity.

MARISHA: I do the cool thing where, like, I slide down, like a fireman, down the ladder a little bit.

MATT: Okay. It only goes down about five feet or so. It's a very small crawl space.

MARISHA: Well, I look real cool for five feet. (ca-clunk)

MATT: You do. It's a very small crawl space. It's maybe, like, ten foot by five foot. It's very dusty in here. It looks like there are a few clay pots. There looks to be a portrait, like some sort of a large art piece, that's leaning against the wall and has some cobwebs over it. Other then that, it looks fairly empty, like it hasn't been used fully. You, casting Detect Magic. Let me check real fast. Yeah. So you look around the vicinity in this chamber and you do not see any sort of faint magical aura in the crawlspace.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Are there any other doors in this crawl space that lead into the main?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: Natural 20.


MATT: You do find, there is another trapdoor on the opposite end of the crawl space that is partially blocked by the art piece that's leaning against it. You shift it out of the way and unhinge the top, and it opens and drops down to a hallway that has like faint a crackling firelight inside this hallway. You glance down inside. You can see a long hallway with tapestries on each wall of a beautiful writing. There are two ornamental armor sets that are set up on the side. You can see an ornamental sword that is bolted on the wall on the opposite end and stairs not too far from where you are that head further down into the building, and there is a doorway that leads to the right on the opposite of the hallway.

MARISHA: Jester, can you go ahead and cast a spell?

LAURA: What spell?

MARISHA: The locate-the-thing spell.

LAURA: I am distracted by looking at this beautiful piece of art.

SAM: Do you want to draw a mustache on it, or something? A dick butt?

LAURA: I think I studied this artist back at home.

LIAM: You know, we want to be efficient here. Quick.

LAURA: Oh, okay. It only last for ten minutes though when I do it. So if we don't find it soon then--

LIAM: Yes, save more time to doing so. Let's start moving. And you’re looking for bad physical things.

LAURA: I am going to?

SAM: Traps?

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: (Loudly) Oh, God! Yes! Oh, God! I forgot to look for any traps!

LAURA: (shushes)

SAM: Sorry. I going to take a big drink.

LAURA: I'm sure Ulog can look for traps, because he's also a rogue, right?

MATT: He is, but he is behind you guys at this point.

LAURA: Ulog, help us. Please.

MATT: "All right. The two of us will keep an eye for traps." He's giving you an advantage. He's giving you the help actually. You were down to casting what spell? You were casting--

LAURA: I'm going to cast Locate Object. Cast spell. I'm going to search for a wax seal.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: What's the light situation like in here?

MATT: You go down and there are two torches that are burning in the edge, but they don't have a fuel source. They are an ever-burning torch and they are both fixed to the wall, giving this flickering light in the vicinity. You’ve come down to the hallway?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: LEDs, yeah.

MATT: So you guys have made your way down into the hallway. You’re still concentrating the spell, right?

LIAM: Hells yes.

MATT: There are magical auras emulating from these torches. They're both everlight. You've seen this magic before. They just continuously burn. It’s continual flame. You also get a faint magical aura from each of the suits of armor, and a faint magical aura from the sword across the way on the opposite wall.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Like traps? Or they are just--

SAM: I'm going to look for traps.

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check with advantage.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck.

LIAM: Do I know the school of magic?

SAM: 20.

MATT: What's you roll? 20?

SAM: 20.

MATT: 20. You carefully go forward and both you and Ulog pay attention. The floorboards of this hallway progress one after another, and there's a cluster about four of them, about a-foot-and-a-half across each of them, that are slightly lifted on one side. Glancing forward, you can see there’s some sort of pressure device that triggers when those boards are stepped on.

LIAM: There's no magical aura from those at all? Those are separate. You're not saying.

MATT: You're not sure.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Ulog, you didn't find anything. I found a trap.

MATT: Actually, fine.

LIAM: The spell says I know the school of magic for what's on these things. You able to tell me that?

MATT: Correct. I would say-- That's an interesting question.

SAM: Necromancy.

MATT: Let me check something real fast.


MARISHA: There's undead bodies in the armor!

MATT: We'll say it can go in two different ways. I'm not entirely sure.

LIAM: If you don’t know how to answer, it's fine.

MATT: No, no. I do here. It would be--

LIAM: (singing) Breaking the law. Breaking the law.

MARISHA: (Drum rolls) Breaking the law.

MATT: We'll say conjuration.

LIAM: Okay. yeah.

MATT: No, transmutation, which you know well.

SAM: Edubation.

LIAM: I'm an expert in edubation. That's Liam, not Caleb. I have a very bad feeling about these suits of armor.

LAURA: So we won't touch them.

MARISHA: That was him. That was Sam. I did not say that.

SAM: Let's jump over this little hump.

LIAM: Okay, but I don't know exactly how these work, but I have a strong suspicion that these things can start moving and try to cut us up. Both these suits of armor and that weapon.

LAURA: Are those traps would set them off?

MATT: Jester.

LIAM: Maybe.

MATT: As you finish concentrating on the spell and focusing on the wax seal, you get a blip of its location in the next chamber beyond where you are in the door on the right.

LAURA: Oh my gosh! How great because we came in--

SAM: Let's go!

LAURA: We have to avoid the traps.

SAM: Jump over that little hump.

LIAM: Hopefully things will go very well, but there's a chance that this thing that you are indicating is not connected to those, so be ready to fight.

LAURA: So duck down. It's like The NeverEnding Story. Don't be afraid, you guys, just go!

SAM: Wait, what if-- We are up shit's creek. So we need Schmidt's creek. What if you have Schmidt do something? Can Schmidt go do something?

MATT: As this is happening, Ulog is sighing loudly, pulls out some tools, and begins to fiddle with where the boards are on the ground. He manages to get a shortsword of his pressed underneath where the boards are and slips it across, slightly lifting each one as he goes until the sword peeks out the opposite side acting as a platform beneath. He goes, "Watch and learn, little one."

LAURA: It's like a training session.

MATT: He goes and carefully steps on the boards, and then steps across with no effect.

SAM: Is he mansplaining to me?

MATT: Roguesplaining, technically.

LIAM: This. Is. Exciting.

LAURA: Come on this only lasts ten minutes let's go!

MARISHA: Someone stay watch. We're going to go this way.

SAM: We're making progress! You can respond to this message.

TRAVIS: I'm over here.

SAM: We're making progress!


MATT: As you guys head in, there's the closed door that leads into the chamber where you're sensing this aura.

LAURA: Okay. Detect for traps. Look for traps on this door.

SAM: Me? Okay. I can look for traps. Eight, plus five. 13.

MATT: 13, okay. It is trapped.

SAM: Oh! It's a door? That's trapped?

MATT: Yes. It's not locked, but it is trapped.

MARISHA: Do I hear any movement in the house?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: How do we disarm a trap?

SAM: We let Ulog do it!

MARISHA: Not bad. 15.

MATT: 15. You listen out. You do not hear any movement in the house other than what you currently are making.


TALIESIN: (hiccups)

MATT: And a hiccup from out in the distance.

TALIESIN: Hello, pick a card.

MATT: Perception check from both of you guys, by the way, while this is happening.



MATT: Okay. You don't seem to notice anything. All right. So you guys--

SAM: I'm going to try to disarm it.

MATT: All right. You pull out your thieves'--

SAM: Do I see the triggering mechanism?

MATT: We'll find out! Go ahead and make a thieves' tools check. So roll a d20, add your proficiency modifier and your dexterity modifier. Should be plus six, I think?

SAM: Yes, 16.

MATT: 16! As you carefully get down to where the knob is, you begin to turn it ever so slightly and you hear this spring begin to tighten, and you're familiar with that sound. So you manage to get your tool underneath, and you find where the spring is, it's barely in the space between where the door and the edge of the door frame is. You get the tool underneath, capture it, and as you pull the door open it prevents the spring from pulling back into the device. You slowly, as you expose it, reach in, snap the opposing side and remove the spring entirely, leaving the trap inert.

SAM: These are your tools, Beau!

LIAM: I wish I was still a rogue, it's the best class!

SAM: I feel so alive!

MATT: As the door opens into a fairly well-decorated master bedroom. You see a large canopy bed, a beautiful detailed embroidered rug that consumes the center of the floor. You can see a fireplace to your right, the one that you saw that was attached to the top of the roof, that has a fire burning in it. It has two giant statues of lions on each side, this cool detailed shelf there. You can see a table with chairs to your left. You can see a slight opening to a balcony that's not visible from the outside.

SAM: Ooh, an invisible balcony.

LIAM: I walk up behind Nott and scan the room with the spell.

MATT: Okay. You're just scanning the room?

LIAM: I'm just walking up behind Nott, no further, and looking in to see what glows.

MATT: All right. As you glance in and look, there is immediately to your left a large metal cabinet of some kind. It is made of dark iron, and gives a very faint magical aura to it. The rug in the center of the room gives a faint magical aura as well.

SAM: The rug?

LAURA: Flying carpet!


LAURA: Look for traps in the room.

SAM: Okay. Did you see the lock I just--

LAURA: I did, but hurry!

SAM: 19.

MATT: You're looking for--

SAM: Traps.

MATT: Okay, investigation check. You glance around and look in the chamber. You don't see anything that gives the essence of a trap to you. It looks like the trap was part of the entry here, but there's nothing immediately in the vicinity that resembles a triggering trap.

LIAM: What kind of magic is emanating from the carpet? What school of magic?

MATT: The carpet? It's also transmutation, and the magic on the large case has a faint abjuration.

LAURA: Where is the glow for the seal is coming from?

MATT: It's underneath the rug.

LIAM: I alert everyone. The carpet is magical.

SAM: We should not step on it.

LAURA: Well, I need to move it because the seal is under the rug.

MARISHA: The seal's under the rug?

SAM: Do we have anything that can negate the magic or--

MARISHA: Do you have Dispel Magic?

LIAM: I do not.

SAM: Can Schmidt stand on the carpet? Oh! I can move it with my Mage Hand or something, or peel it back with my mage hand.

MATT: Mage Hand. Very helpful when setting grappling hooks on roofs.

SAM: Oh, shit! Shut up, Ulog!

MATT: "I'm just saying, if I knew you could do that, you could've--"

SAM: Fuck you, I know what I'm doing.

LAURA: So move the fucking carpet!

SAM: You want me to move the carpet?

LAURA: Move the rug.

MARISHA: Can I do a look for anything that looks out of place, any papers, anything, trap doors?

MATT: Investigation check.

LIAM: I have a question. The carpet reeks of abjuration, or-- I would know that the carpet is magical.

SAM: It was transmutation.

LIAM: Transmutation. If the carpet is magical, I wouldn't--

MATT: You can only see magical sources from what you can see. So if a thing's behind a wall or behind an object you don't see an aura.

LIAM: Right. The carpet seems magical to me, I wouldn't think that something under the carpet is magical.

TRAVIS: Yep, I saw it.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

MATT: Natural 20! As they're having this conversation, you glance by the fireplace, the fire is crackling in there, and you glance down and right underneath the hearth, up where the fire's tickling, you see a piece of the stonework that doesn't match the others, it's slightly off-colored. It looks like the burning of the fire that's been given this dark and blackened look to it, there's one brick there that doesn't seem to have been affected by any of the soot at all.

MARISHA: I, avoiding the rug, lightly step over it, and see if I can jiggy the brick out.

MATT: As your finger presses against the brick it slides in about a half an inch, and you hear this (click) sound over by where the metal large cabinet is.

LAURA: You just unlocked the fucking metal shit!

MARISHA: Oh shit!

LIAM: Do I see any change in the abjuration magic when she does that?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Does it go away?

MATT: It vanishes.


SAM: I'm going to cast Message. We are the fucking best! You can respond to this message!


LAURA: I got to get that seal!

LIAM: What you just did dispelled whatever ward was on the cabinet, however the carpet I can't tell exactly what's going on but there is something--

LAURA: Use the Mage Hand to move the carpet.

MARISHA: Give me the papers.

SAM: I cast Mage Hand and slowly peel back a corner of the carpet.

LAURA: I hand the two letters that we made for Lord Sutan.

MATT: Okay, the carpet peels back and it reveals beneath it a section of the wood that has a hinge bolted to one side of it. It's a square that's cut out of it, it looks like it's an open case. The carpet peels back, and then begins to fold back in its space, and then fold up again. It begins to slightly shift and rise, and the carpet almost seems to be gliding in the air on its own in the vicinity. It spins towards you and then *rushes* in your direction. I need everyone to roll initiative.

MARISHA: We're fighting a carpet! The fuck!

LAURA: We're fighting a carpet.

TALIESIN: We had it coming.

LIAM: It's an animated object!

TRAVIS: I had that in my one-shot.

LIAM: My kids have fought a broom. This happens.

LAURA: Whoa, look at that carpet!

MATT: That carpet is now gone, because instead you are fighting *that* carpet.


TRAVIS: It's like a cobra ready to strike!

MATT: All righty, so Nott would've been over here.

LAURA: So we're rolling initiative, that's what we're doing?

MATT: Yes, roll initiative, please. Beau, you're over by the fireplace so you've just seen that happen there, and I think that's--

LIAM: I would be by Beau because I clapped her on the shoulder.

MATT: Right, right.

SAM: Yeah, Holly.


MATT: I forgot my dwarf mini.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Well, no, it's in here somewhere. Forgot to bring it out. I am unprepared!

TRAVIS: Unprepared. Just use a d4.

LIAM: (sarcastically) You are not prepared, oh no.

MATT: That's fine, I'll use this. I'll say that that's him there, it's fine. Given that case, guys, first it's a surprise round, as it whips its way over towards Nott.

SAM: It gets a surprise round.

MATT: It does, because it suddenly rushes in your direction. That is going to be a 21 to hit.

SAM: That hits.

MATT: Natural 16. It goes and wraps around you and completely envelops you within itself. All of a sudden you just see darkness, and you cannot breathe.

MARISHA: Oh, this is going to suck.

MATT: Currently you are enveloped by the Rug of Smothering.

MATT: Initiative here. Top of the round, 25 to 20 anybody.

SAM: 24.

MATT: 24, that'll be you first, Nott. 20 to 15?

LAURA: 17.


MATT: Beau. 15 to 10?


MATT: What'd you get Caleb?

LIAM: Well you know, I rolled a nine.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: I’m not in this one, fucker. You guys are the best, that's the last we heard.


LIAM: (singing) You're the best around! Nothing's ever going to bring you down!

MATT: It's true! Nott, it's your turn first. You are restrained, you are blinded, and you are suffocating. At the start of your turn, you immediately take 12 points of bludgeoning damage as it's now crushing and constricting your entire body. You feel the life being pulled out of you as you're gasping for breath in this space. What are you going to do with your turn?

SAM: A VS spell is verbal. Can I talk?

MATT: Yes, you can still talk. You're (muffled sounds). You still have the breath you had in your body when it went around you, so I'll say you have enough air for one spell and then that's all.

SAM: Okay. I will touch it with Shocking Grasp, cast Shocking Grasp on it.

MATT: Is that a spell attack roll?

SAM: It's touch, to hit plus five. So I have to roll.

MATT: Yeah, you would have disadvantage because you're restrained, but it's also smothering you so I would give you advantage to that, so it's just a straight roll.

SAM: 13 plus five. 18!

MATT: That hits! Go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: Okay. One point of damage. However, it can't take reactions until its next turn.

MATT: Good to know.

SAM: Does it let me go?

MATT: Nope!

SAM: I can't move away from it?

MATT: No, you are restrained. You can try and break free, but it's an action to try.

SAM: Oh shit. Well, poo.

MATT: But hey, there you go. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt on it.

MATT: Okay. You see it wrapping around and Nott's flailing about as this carpet is crushing her little body. Go ahead and--

LAURA: Roll a ranged attack.

MATT: Yes. Go for it.

LAURA: Oh! Natural 19.

MATT: Oh yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that.

LAURA: That's 4d6. Radiant.

TRAVIS: Yeah, get it!

SAM: Damn!

LAURA: 15 damage, and the next attack has advantage against it.

MATT: Okay, it takes eight points of radiant damage, and Nott takes seven points of radiant damage.

LAURA: (gasping) Oh no!

MATT: As you blast you hear Nott (muffled screaming) underneath, you get the sense all the damage dealt to this rug is divided with whoever it's enveloping.

LAURA: Oh no, I'm sorry, Nott!

SAM: I can't hear you.

TRAVIS: He doesn't know who's doing it, that's okay.

MATT: Jester, you going to stay where you are?

LAURA: Where am I?

MATT: Sorry, you would've been probably over here.

LAURA: Oh no, how do we get it off?

LIAM: We damage it.

LAURA: No, but we can't damage it.

MATT: You going to move or stay here?

LAURA: I'm going to go stand on the bed!

MATT: You move around and stand on the bed!

SAM: And jump!

MATT: All righty. That ends your turn Jester. Beau, you're up.

MARISHA: All right. I'm going to run up with my staff and do a crack crack.

LAURA: No, but--

MARISHA: Let me do my fucking thing, man. Let me do my fucking thing.

TRAVIS: She doesn't know.

MARISHA: I have no fucking clue.

TRAVIS: Same six seconds!

LAURA: No, but you just heard Nott scream!

LIAM: No one knows, who the fuck knows?

MARISHA: Sorry, Nott. Crack!

SAM: (screaming) I'm hurting! You can reply to this message!

MARISHA: 16 for the first one.

MATT: That hits. Roll damage.

MARISHA: Okay, that is six damage.

MATT: That's three to you, Nott.

SAM: I'm unconscious.

TRAVIS: Are you?

SAM: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: Oh shit. Fuck.

MARISHA: For the second one.

LAURA: Oh no, you're going to kill Nott!

MARISHA: That hits. That's a natural 16. And that's seven damage.

MATT: Seven damage. That's four damage to the thing and you fail a death saving throw.

MARISHA: Now I'm going to spend a ki point.

TRAVIS: Doesn't she fail two?

MATT: No, that's on a critical. She wasn't attacking Nott specifically. She was attacking the rug.

MARISHA: I'm going to spend a ki point and do something that I have yet to do, which is Extract Aspects.

SAM: What does that mean?

TRAVIS: It can't have that many hit points, right?

MATT: Okay. So you hit it twice.

MARISHA: Then I'm going to see if I can catch any reverberations off of the rug.

MATT: All right. And it makes a what saving throw? Constitution?

MARISHA: Constitution.

MATT: That is an 11.


MATT: All right. What do you want to know about it?

MARISHA: I want to know its damage vulnerabilities. What's it vulnerable to?

MATT: It is actually not vulnerable to anything.

MARISHA: What?! Do I get something else?

MATT: You learned it is not vulnerable to anything.

LIAM: You learned it's badass.

TRAVIS: Goddamn it.

LAURA: We have to try to pull the rug off of-- We have to out-strength the rug!

LIAM: Next. Moving on.

MARISHA: Hey guys, Nott's in the rug.

SAM: (muffled screaming)

MATT: Now it's Ulog's turn. Ulog, who sees the rug there, is going to rush over and attempt to--

LIAM: Oh, Ulog is a little girl.

MATT: I know. It was the best I could find in the moment, you know?

TRAVIS: It works.

MATT: It's fine. He rolls a two, because NPCs that I try and fight with can't roll shit. That misses. That misses. To your benefit, Ulog tries to stab and is missing or hitting the edge of the tassels. It's not even making an impact on the rug. He is going to use a bonus action to disengage and head back towards where the balcony is. All right. So that goes ahead and ends that. That brings us to the rug's turn. The rug is going to go ahead and release Nott, and is going to attempt to completely envelop Beau.

MARISHA: Hey guys, Nott's down-- Oh shit.

MATT: That's cocked. That is another 16. 21.


LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: You, Beau, are now enveloped by the rug.

MARISHA: Hey guys, I think this rug (choking).

LAURA: How do we defeat this rug before it kills all of us?

MATT: All righty. That's going to go ahead and end the rug's turn.

TRAVIS: How'd you guys die? A rug.

TALIESIN: Rugs are the new doors.

MATT: Actually, the rug's going to go ahead, because it can still move-- Well, it's speed is nothing, nevermind.

TRAVIS: What? It moves into the fireplace?

MATT: Well it would move her away. No, it's not going to do that.

TRAVIS: (screams)

MATT: It doesn't have enough movement to move much. That brings us to the bottom. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Yeah, I pull the potion of healing I have out of my belt, and I run over to Nott and I jam it into her mouth and pour it in. The whole time I'm going through my list of spells thinking of what could help. There's nothing, but I'm going: Dancing Lights, Fire Bolt, Friends, Alarm, Burning Hands, Chromatic Orb, Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic. And I heal Nott.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for the heal on that.

MARISHA: And before I got wrapped up I said it's not immune to any-- (choking)

MATT: Ha ha. (choking)

MARISHA: It has no weaknesses-- (choking)

MATT: All righty. So how much does Nott heal?

LIAM: 14 points.


SAM: From one healing potion?

LIAM: Greater.

MATT: There you go. Top of the round. Nott, your turn. As you come to consciousness, you are still prone.

TRAVIS: Return that damage.

MATT: Caleb moved around to join your side there to go ahead and apply the potion.

SAM: We can't hurt Beau!

MARISHA: No, it's fine.

SAM: I will go and try to wrestle the--

TRAVIS: You're a god!

MARISHA: (choking)

MATT: You know what, go ahead and make an athletics check.

SAM: Two.

MATT: No. You rush up and you grab it, and it actually lifts you off your feet and you are now being flailed in the air as you're grabbing the edge of the rug, going (screams).

SAM: (screaming)

MATT: All right that ends your turn. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: I'm going to try to go help Nott and I'm going to do the same thing. I'm going to try to pry the rug off of Beau.

MATT: Okay. You move up. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

MARISHA: This is the best!

TALIESIN: That's a number.

LAURA: That's a number. It's a 12.

MATT: 12. You grab and you're not pulled off your feet, but the rug is too strong and it's not quite releasing its hold on Beau. Beau, it's your turn. At the top of your turn, you suffer ten points of bludgeoning damage.


MATT: As it's crushing your body on the inside and you cannot breathe. It is your turn, though. You can still go.

LIAM: He's killing our nostalgia for the carpet.

LAURA: I wonder if there's something in the room that will--

SAM: Turn it off?

LAURA: Turn it off.

LIAM: He would have had to have told me that there was magic anywhere else in the room.

LAURA: No, because the thing in the fireplace.

LIAM: Right, was physical. That's true.

MATT: What are you doing, Beau?

MARISHA: Can I do any type of attack? What can I do?

MATT: Yeah, you just have disadvantage on the attacks.

MARISHA: I just have disadvantage.

LIAM: Come on, you are a badass. You can do it.

TRAVIS: Roll that fucking shit.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to try and elbow the fucking shit out this rug.

LIAM: You're the best of all of us.

MARISHA: I am the best!

TRAVIS: Oh fuck.

MARISHA: Fuck you, Gil.

TRAVIS: Terrible, just awful.


LIAM: Wait, did you roll a 20 and an eight?

MARISHA: No, I rolled my damage die.

MATT: So it was an 11?

MARISHA: For the first one.

MATT: Misses.

MARISHA: Uh-huh. Second one.

LIAM: Come on, Beau.

MARISHA: No! It's a two.

MATT: It's just too tight. You can't quite get any movement to hit it. It's a bad space for you.

MARISHA: Oh wait, you said-- oh, disadvantage.

TRAVIS: We're the best.

MATT: That ends your turn. It is now Ulog's go. Ulog is going to rush up and attempt to stab at it as he sees it wrapping around there. That is a 12. That hits.

TRAVIS: A 12 hits.

MATT: Yeah, I know.


MATT: It does do sneak attack damage, because you guys are in the vicinity.

MARISHA: Wait, what?

SAM: He's doing sneak attack damage to the carpet, which translates to you.

MARISHA: That's fine.

MATT: He doesn't know. He's trying to help. That's going to be 12 points of piercing damage, so six to the rug and six to you.

SAM: Oh, okay.


MATT: The rug is starting to look a little torn up in places and you can see bits of Beau showing through where the gashes are stabbing through. It's looking fairly hurt.

MARISHA: Bits of Beau. Bits of Beau are showing.

LIAM: Who wore it best?

MATT: It's the rug's turn. The rug is going to attempt to shift itself and Beau a little bit away this direction. It can only get five feet because its speed is halved pulling you along with it and its speed is ten. So Nott, you get an attack of opportunity, if you want to take one.

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: It's looking weak.

SAM: Sure, I'll swing a shortsword at it.

MATT: You whip out your shortsword quickly.

SAM: 21 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage with sneak attack. If you want to sneak attack. You don't have to.

SAM: Yeah, sure. If I'm going to hit it, I'm going to hit it. (counting) 15.

MATT: 15, all right. That's eight to the rug and seven to Beau.

SAM: Oh she's out.

LIAM: No, she's not out.

TRAVIS: She's okay.

LIAM: She's hanging on.

MATT: The rug is barely holding on by a thread. You see it still keeps her constrained. You see parts of it are fraying and falling apart. The threads are dangling, but it's still keeping its mass strongly and tightly around her. It's still crushing her and mainly wrapped around her face so she can't see and she can't breathe. That ends the rug's turn. Caleb, you're up.

SAM: Caleb!

LIAM: *Ja*.

MATT: You're up.

LIAM: What am I doing? I rush forward and I am going to try to pry the rug off of her.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

LIAM: *Ja*. Come on, roll big. Nope. Athletics? *Nein*!

ALL: *Nein*!

MATT: There it is. You're trying to pull and you get some threads that snap off and you're like "Shit!" It's not working. You're not getting the right grasp on it.

LIAM: Next.

MATT: That ends Caleb's turn. Nott, you're up.

SAM: Me? What about Jes?

MATT: No, it's you and then Jester.

SAM: Oh, that was a reaction. Well, I guess I see how bad the rug is doing and I will swing that shortsword again. Why not?

LAURA: Vengeance.

SAM: It's a 15.

MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage. If you want to do it with sneak attack, up to you.

SAM: You said it was hanging by a thread, right?

MATT: It looks like it’s doing pretty rough. It's up to you.

SAM: Maybe not sneak attack damage. Ooh, ten points?


MATT: So that's five damage to Beau and the rug.

MARISHA: Guys, this rug is expensi--

MATT: You tear through the rug. You cut through and the rug bisects, but you also see that where you cut through also cut across the front of Beau as her eyes roll back and she plops onto the ground, the rug falling in pieces to the ground around her, coming to rest.

MARISHA: Don't let me bleed on it!

SAM: Ah! What have I done?! Heal her!

LAURA: I will. I cast Cure Wounds on her.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and cast Cure Wounds to heal.

LAURA: Eight points.

MARISHA: (gasps) I didn't bleed on it, did I? I move off the rug so I don't bleed on it.

MATT and LAURA: The rug is shredded.

SAM: I'm going to cast Message. Remember the hospital? That. You can reply to this message.


TRAVIS: It's going as well as the hospital.

TALIESIN: That seems fair.

LAURA: He's going to know we were in his room because the rug is messed up.

SAM: We'll fix it later.

LIAM: That's okay, because if the plan goes according to plan, yeah. Allow myself to introduce myself. If everything goes well, we get Orentha to fall on both of these people at once. So let's finish what we're doing, *ja*?

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: *Ja*, doesn't matter. No one is going to care about a rug or him screaming about a rug.

LAURA: Okay. Let's gather up the pieces of the rug so it's not, you know.

MATT: So you gather all the pieces of the rug to join your shingles.

MARISHA: Scoop up the rug.

LAURA: Check the fucking thing if it's trapped.

LIAM: Check that armoire or whatever it is.

LAURA: No, check the thing on the ground and see if it's trapped first.

LIAM: Check them both.

SAM: I'll check the thing on the ground while Ulog checks the thing on the mantelpiece or wherever it is.

MARISHA: The safe.

LIAM: He's got a safe and a floor.

SAM: What am I checking? 14 on the thing on the floor.

MATT: It's investigation. It does not appear to be trapped. It does appear to be locked. Roll again.

LIAM: No more magic?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: 15 plus thieves' tools.

MATT: Yeah, easy enough. (lock clicks) You manage to open it up and there is a small chest about that big that rests in a small cubby beneath.

SAM and LAURA: What does it have in it?

MATT: As you open the chest, make a constitution saving throw.

SAM: Oh, shit. Ten.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Son of a gun.

MATT: So first, there's a sudden burst of a brief light through it, and all your muscles tense up and you are paralyzed.

LIAM: Motherfucker.

MARISHA: Okay. It's okay.

LIAM: What about Ulog?

MARISHA: What about Ulog?

LIAM: Because it's simultaneous.

MATT: Ulog goes, "No traps," and pulls it open. No issue.

LIAM: What is in there with Ulog?

MATT: Inside with Ulog, you see a beautiful set of burgundy and gold robes that are up hanging, you see a set of polished bracers made of cobalt steel that are both dangling on a hook, and you see three ancient statuettes, like relics or collector's items, that are arranged on the bottom of it that all look like old museum pieces.

MARISHA: Do they have any symbols on them? On the statues?

LIAM: All magical, I assume. I assume they're glowing.

MATT: Are you still concentrating?

LIAM: Yeah, I haven't cast anything that breaks that.

MATT: That's true, you didn't take any damage. None of them are glowing except for the cobalt bracers.

MARISHA: Do I recognize any symbols or see any symbols on the statues?

MATT: Make a history check.


MATT: Ten. You do not, unfortunately.

LIAM: Nott just collapsed on the floor, paralyzed.

LAURA: No, Nott's paralyzed holding onto the chest.

MATT: Holding to the chest. The chest which is now open, in Nott's hand.

LAURA: I am petting Nott's head and going: Don't worry, in the morning, I can take a spell that will heal you, so we'll carry you out here, okay? Everything will be fine.

LIAM: I pull the chest free of Nott's hands. Is this chest glowing?


LAURA: No, it's got the seal in it. Does it have the seal in it?

MATT: On the inside there is a faint glow. If you look inside, you see there's a cluster of platinum pieces. They're stacked on the side and have shifted around from the movement. You see a single polished river stone, about that big, that is giving a glowing aura, and you see a few sticks of wax and a single pressed wax seal.

LAURA: Okay. I sit down. Oh, do we see his handwriting anywhere? Any letters?

MATT: You do not see in this vicinity any letters or handwriting, no.

MARISHA: It's okay. He always gets his squires to do his dirty work. But we have the seal.

LAURA: Okay. I'll sit down and I'll write a letter really fast that says, "The plan--"

MARISHA: He's working with the Myriad, and all that stuff earlier.

LIAM: We have that already. We did it in advance. I start rooting through Nott's pockets to find the letter in Thieves' Cant.

LAURA: No, that's different. Those are letters we were leaving here.

LIAM: Yeah, Thieves' Cant we're leaving here.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: So we should leave them here.

MARISHA: But we wrote up the letters for the High-Richter too, just so we can stamp.

LAURA: We didn't actually write that letter yet because I was waiting for his handwriting.

MARISHA: Yeah we did because we put the Knights of Requital in it. The KR symbol.

LAURA: Sure, why not?

LIAM: From Richter to Sutan we did, so we're leaving those, and we're leaving a note--

MATT: Marisha, make a perception check. You both make perception checks.

LIAM: Nott's fake Myriad note we're leaving here, so I pull that out of Nott's pockets.


MATT: 18? You do glance--

TALIESIN: Natural 20.


MATT: Good to know. You glance off to the side and there is a desk in the corner that has two sets of drawers that are currently closed.

LIAM: While Jester and Caleb are arguing, Caleb grabs the little magical stone that's in that box and puts it in his pocket.

MATT: Okay. You grab it and put it in your pocket.

MARISHA: I stuff the letters that we were planting on the High-Richter in the-- sorry, on Sutan into the safe.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Close the safe.

MATT: Okay (clicking).

MARISHA: Run over to the desk, open the desk, look through it. Do I see anything?

MATT: Mostly it's just blank parchment. You do see a few notes that are maybe partially written letters that were crumpled up and thrown in there that are Lord Sutan's handwriting.

LAURA: (gasps) Let me see!

MARISHA: Yeah, go!

LAURA: Okay! I look at it and then I sit down and write the letter and go-- okay, what's her name? The High-Richter's letter's first name?

TRAVIS: Prucine.

MARISHA: Prucine! Dayana Prucine!

LAURA: Dayana, okay. I'm going to write: Dayana, got your message, our plan is moving forward exactly as we discussed. The Myriad has our back!

MARISHA: Sure, yeah.

LAURA: Sure. Then sign it Lord Sutan.


LAURA: Oh! And something about the Big-O going down.


LAURA: The Big-O will go down.

MARISHA: Tonight, plan happening, sooner than later.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for your forgery kit. So roll a d20, add your proficiency modifier and your intelligence modifier.

TALIESIN: This is hard, being outside.

MATT: I'm sorry, guys.

TALIESIN: It's okay. Someone had to do it.

LAURA: Roll my proficiency plus my intelligence. Aww, my intelligence?! Why not wisdom?


LIAM: Got to do it.

LAURA: Nine.

MARISHA: Is there any way I can help her? Like being also proficient in forging in this background and stuff?

MATT: Sure. I'll say since you were helping her that I'll give you advantage on the roll.

LAURA: Advantage?

MATT: Advantage on the roll. So roll one more time.

LAURA: (sighs) Ooh, that's so much better! 22!

MATT: You start making one and it's not quite working out and Beau looks over your shoulder, points it out, you take it--

MARISHA: Ah, you forgot the hooks on the G's!

MATT: You throw it in the fireplace and incinerate that one and then make another one. This one is pretty solid and it matches the writing perfectly.

LAURA: This is really good.

MARISHA: Wow, yes! It looks amazing. You should be proud.

LAURA: I roll it up, heat up the wax, seal it--

MATT: (hissing) Done.

LAURA: Put the letter in the bag. We have it for later. Then I go and pick up Nott. Let's get out of here.

MARISHA: Let's get the *fuck* out of here.

LIAM: We've left the Thieves’ Cant note from the "Myriad" and we've left the--


LIAM: Yeah? Everything that we've planned?

MARISHA: It's all in the-- everything that we've planned--

LAURA: Does anyone have any books around?

MATT: In the current room? There is a shelf in the hallway that you can see that has a few books.

LIAM: Is anything glowing there though, Matthew?

MATT: No there's nothing glowing.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to take out one of the pamphlets for the Traveler and stick it into one of the books.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, and then I pick up Nott!

MATT: You guys make your way back up to the entranceway up into the crawlspace above the attic, pull it closed and latch it. You move the art piece back over. You make your way back to the edge of the roof where you guys had exited, climbing the ladder that's attached to it, making your way onto the roof, getting Nott up there, manhandled, Ulog following you as you get to the top. You close it--

MARISHA: Put some shingles back.

LAURA: Yeah, put some of the shingles back.

MATT: You put the shingles back in the space. For that, I'm going to have to have you both roll dexterity checks, please. Or, since you're helping, have you roll a dexterity check with advantage, because you're helping her.

MARISHA: Okay. Just straight dexterity?

MATT: Yes.


MATT: 15. Okay. You manage to find and arrange them in a way where they aren't going to slide off and even with a bit of rain that's in there you find the pockets where they originally, mostly sitting so they're not going to coast with any sort of weather shift.

MARISHA: It looks all right, right? Okay.

LAURA: I pick up Nott. I walk her as we tiptoe across the roof.

MATT: All right. You guys are noticing at this point as they're on the roof, because you're paying attention you see them begin to emerge on the roof as you begin to see a cluster of crownsguard doing a pass through the street.

TALIESIN: So I know that we can see if they're coming through?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We may need to distract. I'm going to: Go fuck with the dog. I push the cat away with that. And do you want to go out?

TRAVIS: Do what?

TALIESIN: Do you want-- we distract Crownsguard?

TRAVIS: Yes, of course. Yeah. (clears throat)

MATT: There's four of them that are approaching and they're going by and keeping an eye on things.

TRAVIS: I walk up to the four of them.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I heard there's a disturbance over here. I need some assistance, please.

MATT: "What kind of disturbance?"

TRAVIS: There's a rowdy bunch over here, been drinking too much already, anticipating the festival. Would you come with me?

MATT: Make a deception check.

TRAVIS: Ooh god. 13.

TALIESIN: Can I assist?

MATT: Technically, no because you weren't part of it.

TALIESIN: I was about to-- yeah, I know, yeah.

MATT: Had to catch it before the roll, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: That's okay, (chuckles) he rolled a one. The snitch isn't working for me tonight.

LAURA: Oh god. *Move*.

MATT: So the two of them don't seem to quite buy into it, but the two of them that go, "Well, all right. We'll follow. Lead on." Leads the three-- you jog along. Two of them continue their route.

TALIESIN: How's your evening going gentlemen?

MATT: "Keep moving along."

TALIESIN: Want a free tarot reading? I'm on a five-minute break for the entertainment.

MATT: "We're all right, but thank you." They keep walking.

TALIESIN: I sent the cat, so the cat should be--

LIAM: Yeah. (angry meow)

MATT: Frumpkin makes his way around. (barking) Again, the dog unleashes a torrent of barks, like "No, not again!" You hear the other guy being pulled across the yard. He's being dragged through the wet grass. You guys begin to make your way across. Who's carrying Nott across?

LAURA: I will.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to try to hook Nott over me. So like she's attached.

MATT: Make an athletics check as you try to make your way across the rope.

TRAVIS: We've got this.

MARISHA: I'm going to try to hold the rope as hard as I can. (grunts)

LIAM: Athletics check? For everybody, right?

MARISHA: Oh come on, girl.

LAURA: Five.

MARISHA: Fuck! That's not good.

TRAVIS: (chuckling) You pulling your eyebrows off?

MATT: So do you want to save yourself or Nott? Because one of you is falling.

LAURA: I save Nott and I'll fall.

MATT: As you grasp, you loop Nott around the rope. As you lose your grip, feeling it coming and you tumble down.

MARISHA: (whispering) Jester!

MATT: Falling three stories.

TALIESIN: That many stories?

LAURA: Three stories.

MARISHA: I know. We were three stories up.

MATT: So you take 12 points of bludgeoning damage as you crack! Hit the ground.

LAURA: (pained) Oh. Thaumaturgy. Thunder.

MATT: As you impact, the two guards that were talking to you and chatting--

TALIESIN: Yeah, I know--

MATT: Immediately whip around and see Jester on the ground and put their hands on their weapons and begin rushing towards her.

LAURA: Am I on the outside of the--

MATT: You're on the outside of the fence, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, that's great.

MATT: Like just barely. You just missed the wall.

MARISHA: Do I have Nott on the rope?

MATT: Nott is up on the rope, hanging and dangling.

MARISHA: Can I pull Nott up and roll over and hide on the rope? Or on the roof?

MATT: Sure. You tug her over onto the roof.

TALIESIN: There you are, dear!

LAURA: Am I 12 damage?

MATT: 12 damage.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm running with them to see what happened.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: There you are dear! Good god! There were those hooligans that were roughing us up earlier. Are you all right?

LAURA: They hurt me so bad.

TALIESIN: I knew you were going to be okay, anyway. Do you mind helping?

MATT: Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: I know. Fucking--

TRAVIS: Come on!

LIAM: Come on, Tal!

TALIESIN: Nope. Four.

LAURA: But I was helping because I'm bloody.

MATT: You should have said before the roll.


MATT: Okay. They both go "All right, miss." They pick you up and the other guy takes your arm and is like--

TALIESIN: Hey, I'm only a little drunk.

MATT: "Right. All right." They drag you and start bringing you towards the gates out of the Tri-Spire.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

MARISHA: So wait, she was on the other side of the gate?



TALIESIN: That's fair.

MATT: So you two make your way--

LAURA: But I'm staying at the Pillow Trove tonight.

MATT: "Miss, you've got to sober up and you can find your way back tomorrow morning." So they escort you out of the Tri-Spire. You guys are pushed beyond the gates and there's now eight guards at each gate that are preventing any passage in and out. You guys are shoved back out into the city.

TALIESIN: You're a gofficer and a nentleman. Thank you very much.

MATT: However, that distraction gives you guys enough time to get the rest of you over and down to the beyond the tree.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah. I like do a climber's loop harness and tie a knot around me, around my middle section and then get over.

MATT: Okay. So you guys all get across. You leaving the rope there or are you detaching it?

MARISHA: No, I'm trying to detach it if I can. No trace.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I love his facial expressions from here.

MATT: Make a dexterity check.

LIAM: Work that shit. This is--

MARISHA: Fucking-- Gil! Gil, you're a piece of shit today!

MATT: Aww, Gil.

MARISHA: Six. I love you, Gil.

LIAM: How far away is where the grapple is hooked from us right now?

MATT: It's about ten feet from you.

LIAM: I cast Unseen Servant. Schmidt lifts up the grapple and tosses it free.

MATT: Okay. The rope does break, and the grapple bends. The grapple's not usable anymore. You do remove the evidence, but the grapple’s not usable at the moment.

MARISHA: Your lips are getting purple again.

TRAVIS: Faces of death.

MARISHA: (laughing) Yeah, your death.

MATT: As you guys pull yourselves away from the vicinity about 45 minutes later as you guys are collecting yourselves eventually the paralysis wears off.


MATT: It lasted for an hour total.

LAURA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Wow.

TALIESIN: You had time to think about that.

SAM: The chest is trapped.

MATT: What are you guys doing?

LAURA: We are booking it to try to get to the sewer entrance so we can get back in.

MARISHA: It will-- I guess--

TALIESIN: Wait, yeah.

MARISHA: We'll try and meet up with these guys?

LIAM: We need to get to our next target immediately.

MARISHA: We need to get to our next target.

LAURA: I've got the fucking letters.

MARISHA: Correct. So they'll know to meet us there.

LIAM: Everybody's going to the same place.

MARISHA: Great. Let's get there and then we'll wait for Jester and Jester.

MATT: Yeah. Ulog pulls out a pocket watch and he looks and it and is like "Oh, she better fucking hurry up. Let's go." You guys make your way over towards where the High-Richter's home is.

SAM: How is she going to get back in to the--

MATT: The two of you guys--

TALIESIN: We can disguise you.

MATT: The two of you guys head back--

LAURA: Oh yeah, I have the disguise charm.

TALIESIN: Well, no, the charm won't work.

MATT: You guys are heading back to where the sewer is, you're saying?

TALIESIN: I was thinking about pushing straight through the front door again.

LAURA: You want to try?

TALIESIN: I've got a coat and a mask.

LAURA: Is there another entrance we can go to?

MATT: There is another entrance. It's on the northern side.

LAURA: Well, it'll probably be faster to do that than to go--

MATT: Could be.

LAURA: Okay. We'll book it to the other entrance.

MATT: Okay, you rush around through the street. You make your way back to the northern gate to the district and there there is another nine or ten guards stationed, with one on the top of the wall with their crossbow ready.

LAURA: I'm pristine and sober.

MATT: As you approach, "Hey! Sorry, no entry. The gala is tonight."

LAURA: I know. We're going to the gala. Obviously.


MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM: Because all the checks tonight have been so good.

MATT: I know. The rolls have been phenomenal.

LAURA: Okay! 18.

MATT: 18?


MATT: Gives you both a look over. "All right, then."

LAURA: We run as soon as we’re in.

MARISHA: How long were we waiting there? Were we waiting long enough to where we can take a short rest?

MATT: Yeah. Because of-- yeah, you can take a short rest.

MARISHA: Fuck yeah.

MATT: You get that back.

LAURA: I guess I'll cast Cure Wounds on myself as we're running.

SAM: Short rest? Can we use hit dice?

MARISHA: Yes, we can.

LAURA: As we're trying to get there.

SAM: Yes!

MATT: So you guys get to use hit dice, they do not.


LAURA: Okay, eight points healed.

TALIESIN: That's nice.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Psst, Marisha, how do you tell how many hit dice you have?

MARISHA: It is generally your level plus whatever your class is. So I'm 1d8 plus three.

TALIESIN: It's in your short rest button.

SAM: It is?

ALL: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh no, sorry. I currently have 3d8.

TALIESIN: Short rest is down at the bottom.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: Okay. So we're trying to avoid the guard so we don't get spotted again and get kicked out again.

MATT: Yeah. You guys carefully find a space that's away and out of sight, probably by one of the small fountains on the side and you all sit there and rest for a bit, having drinks. Eventually, you guys manage to catch up with the rest of the group as they're finishing their short rest. You've reconvened, you have your materials.

LAURA: That went really well, I think. Did we put everything back in order before we left the room? We did, right? Yes, we did.

MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, good enough. The only thing that's going to be obviously missing is the fucking rug!

LAURA: The magical rug.

MARISHA: I wasn't anticipating a rug. But we beat the rug. Get it? We beat the-- we *beat* it. Like we--

TALIESIN: Is this a thing that really happened?

LAURA: Yeah, there was a rug that turned to life and attacked us.

MATT: Ulog's staring at his pocket watch, again looking off at the gala in the distance, is like "All right, if we're going to fucking do something, let's do it."

LAURA: Let's go! We go to the High-Richter's house.

MARISHA: Ulog. How much longer do you think is left of this gala?

MATT: "Ah," and he looks off and is like, "I don't know. Fuck it. Let's go now. Can't wait any longer."

MARISHA: Molly. If the High-Richter tries to come back, you have to drunkenly distract her. Okay? You cannot let her come in this house.

SAM: How are we getting into this house?

MARISHA: Well, we scouted it before.

SAM: Yeah. We found out that there's a door.

MARISHA: And more guards.

SAM: But that doesn't give us a way in.

MARISHA: Same plan. Just go with it.

SAM: But there's no trees!

MARISHA: Shut up! There is!

LAURA and MARISHA: Are there trees?

MATT: No. You're on the outskirts of the home, and you've been here once before, this wall is not an iron gate. It's an actual solid, tall stone and mason wall that’s pretty tight. There's maybe a three-foot gap between the side of the house, like three or four-foot gap from the side of the house to this. The building is two stories. There is the upper balcony that overlooks the whole exterior of the area before it. There are the two guards at the front.

SAM: We need to take them out and go through the front door.

LAURA: Maybe-- Fjord.

TRAVIS: Do you want to look like the High-Richter and walk in without saying anything?

SAM: *You?*

LAURA: You want to be a guard and I can look like the High-Richter?

TRAVIS: Let's do it.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: We met the High-Richter before, you know. Yeah.

LAURA: Yes. Okay.

TRAVIS: Yep, I'll Disguise Self to look like a crownsguard.

LAURA: I cast Disguise Self and look like the High-Richter.

MATT: Okay. In what outfit?

LAURA: (muttering) Oh god.

MARISHA: She had ceremonial armor--

LAURA: Yes, but she was probably going to the gala tonight.

MARISHA: That was gold and white ceremonial armor. Yeah, but I'm sure--

SAM: Wait, before you do this, why don't we go to the festival and see what she looks like?

MARISHA: We don't have time.

LAURA: There's no time.

LIAM: What if she came home with some crazy outfit? Crazy cloak.

LAURA: I'm going to put her in a cloak that looks like it had wine spilled on it. Like, covering up the rest of the outfit, a big--

SAM: A *white* cloak?

LAURA: A white cloak that looks like it had red wine spilled down the front. Fjord, you explain to the guards that I'm very pissed off because someone spilled their drink on me.


MATT: All right. What are the rest of you guys doing?

SAM: I'm going to go around and see if there's any other entrances, or if there's any other guards around the perimeter.

MARISHA: I join Nott. We'll flank.

MATT: Make a perception check with advantage, because they're helping you on this one.

SAM: Okay, seven.

MARISHA: What the fuck?

MATT: You don't see any secret entrances, you don't see any other gates. Looks like the front door is the main way to get in, or over the wall. There is no one watching the back, as it is a solid gate. It seems like the only entrance is from the front, and that's probably intentional from a defensive standpoint.

LIAM: How high is the wall?

MATT: The wall is about-- let me check real fast. This would be seven-foot.

LIAM: Seven foot? Frumpkin's on top of the wall. What do I see?

MATT: You glance down. A small area of wildflower and natural bushes have grown to fill the space in between, where it's thigh-high. There is a door in the back, near the wall, with a small yard, maybe a ten-foot yard, towards the very back area. There's a small porch area with nice chair and a little reading nook. There's a book left outside that looks like it got rained on and forgotten, it's dried and crinkled. There is a door that leads in from the back of that porch area there.

LIAM: Are there any people?

MATT: There are no people in the back.

MARISHA: You want me to give you a boost?

LIAM: Yeah. I relayed that all to them. There's nobody back there, right? Yeah. Seven feet tall. Easy.

MARISHA: Nott, come on, ready? Me and Caleb. One, two, three.

SAM: (squeals)

MATT: Make an athletics check. Sorry, acrobatics, for you.

LAURA: Why are you going in?

MARISHA: Just in case? Backup.

SAM: 17.

MATT: Without even touching the wall, you double-flip in the air and land, ever so silently. You almost land on the book table, causing it to knock over, but you just miss it. You're there quietly now, there's the door across the way. What are you guys doing?

TRAVIS: We're going in.

LAURA: We're disguised and we're walking straight up.

MATT: You approach the two guards and they both look at each other.

LAURA: I look incredibly angry.

TRAVIS: I'm about ten feet in front of her, and I walk up. All right lads, open up. She's in one of her moods. Had wine spilled all over her. Hurry up!

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM: This is it.


MATT: 22. They both go, "Oh, shit. Right in."

TRAVIS: Quickly, I like this detail. Open up.

MATT: One pulls out the key unlocks the gate. They open from each side as you rush through. Make a deception check for you as well.

LAURA: Just walking?! Why? I'm walking!

MATT: With advantage, because you're dressed as her.

SAM: Thank god. Much better.

LAURA: That's 18.

MATT: They both go, "Ma'am." They both pull back, frightened. You go to the front door. It's locked.

TRAVIS: Oh no. You fools, open the door. Don't you see she's in a state?

MATT: One of them rushes forward and unlocks it, glancing out of the side of his eye towards you, shaking.

LAURA: I breathe really hard.

TRAVIS: I am so sorry, High-Richter. I assure you, this night is almost over. Would you hurry up?!

MATT: "Gah!" Opens the door and it throws open.

TRAVIS: I follow in behind her.

MATT: They close the door quietly behind you.

LAURA and TRAVIS: (breathe deeply)

LAURA: Is anybody inside the house?

MATT: No. It is dark. There is no light source on the inside right now.

TRAVIS: I've got darkvision. Can I see anything?

MATT: It's low light through the vicinity. You see the interior chamber that is--

MARISHA: (hyperventilating)

MATT: It is gaudy as fuck in here. You see all the walls have really intricate siding and there's inset designs that are carved into it, with statues and busts of various elven figures. The main chamber leads to a spiral staircase that leads to the second floor. You see three busts on each side of all these different elven, very regal-looking figures adorning each side. You see around the side of it to the right, there appears to be a dining hall with a long table. There you go. To the left it, looks like a kitchen vicinity, and there's the spiral staircase that leads up.

TRAVIS: We should go up.

LAURA: There were a lot of traps in the last house we were in.

MATT: Outside of the wall where you guys are, Ulog's like, "My turn. Give me a lift?"

MARISHA: Fuck. God, are you sure, Ulog?

LIAM: You're going up?

MATT: "Are we not going in?"

LIAM: I'm going in with her. Kneel down. I'm going to climb up on his back and start to try to climb.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

LAURA: Why? Why are we adding more things to this?

MARISHA: You at least need a rogue. All you need is the rogue.

TRAVIS: Don't have to do it all.

LIAM: 17.

MATT: 17. You climb up over the wall and get to the very top. He puts his hands up. "Help me."

MARISHA: Ulog. No, Ulog, why don't we stay? They can plan it. Let's just fucking stay.

MATT: "Because I helped put this together. I want to be here. I want to make sure this happens."

MARISHA: Ulog, listen to me. You are here. You are a part of it, just let them do this. Trust us.

MATT: "Understand, she might have paperwork up there that could absolve my wife."

MARISHA: Ulog, this is not the point of why we're here in the moment. Stay focused. We can get your wife out later. Don't blow the whole operation because of your wife.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.


SAM: Beau's got all the persuasion.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's not my thing, you guys. Four total.

MATT: He gives you a nice, solid look and goes, "Understood," and then leaps up onto the wall and off the other side, landing next to Nott.

LIAM: Oh, he leaps? I was going to say, seeing that argument, that I dropped down to the ground on the other side. And not help him.

MATT: He glances up, sees you gone, and leaps. He barely crests the top. He's a nimble dwarf.

MARISHA: He could cost us everything.

TALIESIN: Slightly ahead of the house, so I can see if people are going to be approaching the house, I put my jacket down and set up a little busking. A mild busk.

TRAVIS: Jester, I know we have to move, and it's not our thing, can we roughly check the stairwell for traps?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Same, I'm looking around.

MATT: Make it with advantage.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

MATT: As you glance about the space, you can see the statues that are facing each other on each side, it looks like the dust on the pedestal is brushed off in an arc, like they are often rotated.

TRAVIS: This is set up to-- wait a minute. If we came home, there's got to be a way to turn it off, right? I mean, if she had walked in, she wouldn't be trying to look out for the traps. Maybe there's something by the door jamb or in the wall, or something we can press.

LAURA: There was a little brick that turned off all the magic things in the other place, so maybe can I look around on the walls and see if there's some sort of--

TRAVIS: Can we check the door jambs and the walls?

LAURA: To see if there's a trigger to stop all the traps?

MATT: Because you rolled a natural 20, you notice that the dust that's grinding is from the sliding of the statues, and they all seem to slide towards the stairs. If you look where the dust is on them, there's a slight outcropping on each of them and the position appears like they have been moved many times away-- they're facing each other-- to look toward the stairs.

LAURA: Let's turn them. We turn them together.

TRAVIS: The same time, one at each.

TRAVIS and LAURA: One, two, three. (stone grinding)

MATT: As you do that, they both (stone grinding), and you hear this (click) sound. The first two, they shift over towards that, matching the space where the dust had shifted, and you hear a slight click or release sound.

TRAVIS: Okay. We head up the stairs.

LAURA: Yeah, sure. We start walking to look for her room.

MATT: There's three sets of these. So you do one then the other.

TRAVIS: Each one. One, two, three, one two three.

MATT: You do it together, all three of them shift, and with each one you hear a click and release. You guys are in the backyard. Are you doing anything?

SAM: I'm going to try to open the back door.

MATT: The three of you are back there with the lock.

LIAM: I cast Detect Magic.

MATT: The back door is locked. Make an investigation check, if you'd like.

SAM and MATT: Natural 20.

MARISHA: It's coming back around!

MATT: I know, look at this! The back door is locked, it is not trapped.

SAM: Okay, I will unlock it. Not so good. Nine.

MATT: You go and get the tools in there and it gets stuck.

SAM: Ulog! Ulog, I need your help.

MATT: "Oh, so now you need my help. Perfect." Yeah, that'll do it. He goes ahead and takes them from you and then (click), gets it, pulls them out gently, hands them back to you.

SAM: Does he come around the back of me?

MATT: Like Ghost-style? He does so, but he does so begrudgingly. He's like (grumbles). He pulls away and quickly gets it, and hands them back to you. "Here you go."

SAM: The pleasure was all mine.

MATT: "Ugh." Opens the door, you guys hear the slight creaking of a doorway down in the second floor as you're ascending the stairs.

LIAM: I grab both of her shoulders and peer in to see if anything glows.

MATT: You glance inside. It does not appear anything in the vicinity-- It's a dining room. You can see the opposite side of a long table with chairs. Make a perception check.

SAM: At a time like this?

TRAVIS: Our front door creaked open when we came in?

MATT: No, you heard a door down below. You heard them enter from elsewhere in the building, but you just heard a (creak).

MARISHA: Do I still see Frumpkin on the wall?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: I'm going to try and get Frumpkin's attention. "Tell Caleb to watch out for Ulog."

MATT: (meows) Jumps down into the back and goes and catches up to you. You glance inside. Nothing magical catches your attention in the chamber.

MARISHA: Can Beau be casing and be full-on stealth mode watching for anything?

MATT: Yes. Make a stealth check? You, as you begin to set up busking, one of the other guards wandering by comes by, kicks your cards a bit, and goes, "Hey, hey! Move along. No street busking, too late. Gala's on."

TALIESIN: Oh, no, I'm on break. One on the house?

MATT: "I said piss off. Keep moving."

TALIESIN: I'm going to very slowly put my stuff together and fold it all up.

MATT: He sits there and watches you do it.

TALIESIN: Move around, yeah, but as long as I have an eye on the main thoroughfare.

MATT: Okay. What did you roll for stealth?

MARISHA: Ten. I'm going to flip my coat to the brown side.

MATT: You walk around, as you're casing the joint, as you're watching, you keep an eye on the two guards to the front. The two guards are looking out, and one of them makes eye contact with you, and as you walk, he watches you walk, and you realize that moment that you've been noticed.

MARISHA: I keep walking.

MATT: You're being watched from a distance.

LAURA: You've been made!

MARISHA: I keep walking and I look casual. Do I see any crowded areas?

MATT: No, most everybody's at the gala right now. You can see in the distance, you can see the party's still going on. The music's still playing from the distance. There's still drinking and revelry muffled in the distance, the din of the crowd giving this low (distant cheering).

MARISHA: If I get a chance, I want to try and lose him.

MATT: He's not following you. He's just watching you as you walk. So you're going to try and move out of his eyesight?

MARISHA: I'm going to try and move around, yeah, and move out of his eyesight.

MATT: You move out of his eyesight.

MARISHA: Anything? Do I notice any following me?

MATT: Perception check.


TRAVIS: Not today.

MARISHA: Ten again.

MATT: Nothing seems to catch your eye, no one following you. You guys, you heard the creak from downstairs. What are you doing?

LAURA: What's that? Do you think somebody just got home?

TRAVIS: We've got to keep going. We can't stop now.

LAURA: Okay. We keep looking for traps up on the top floor and looking for a bedroom.

MATT: You head to the top floor. Investigation check, both of you. You guys, what are you doing?

LIAM: What do we see? What do we see where we are?

MATT: There's a long dining room table with chairs set up.

LIAM: Doors out of here?

MATT: It leads out into a foyer area.

TRAVIS: 19 investigation.

LAURA: Nice, 15 for me.

MATT: You get to the second floor. There's a small landing and a singular door. The door does not appear to be locked or trapped.

SAM: Want to send Frumpkin in?

LIAM: No. We move forward. You ten feet in front of me. I will look for magic, you will look for physical obstacles. Here we go.

SAM: Great. Let's go. (chanting) Checking for traps.

LIAM: (chanting) Checking for magic.

MARISHA: Checking for traps, checking for traps.

MATT: As you guys head through the dining area into the main foyer, you see there is the hallway that leads into the kitchen, the staircase that spirals upward, and these statues that are all facing towards the stairs. The statues give off a magical glow, and you hear the sound of a (creak) upstairs, a door slowly creaking open. As you guys look into the chamber, as the door swings open, you see a darkened bedroom, equally gaudy as the rest of the house. You can see along the walls there are portraits of men, human, different ages, that are all lining it.

SAM: It's One Direction.


MATT: You can there's a small chamber, an archway that leads into a washroom. You can see an ivory basin that's barely visible from the little bit the moonlight that's coming through, a gable window on the opposite side of the chamber.

LAURA: What's a gable window?

SAM: I think you have one at your house. In your kitchen?

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: It protrudes a bit, arcs, then ends there. In the center of where that gable window is, there's--

LIAM: A kraken.

MATT: A roller desk. The front has been rolled shut. There's a door on each side of the gable window that leads to the balcony that you saw before, that looks over everything. It's a giant glass window that looks out over the city. It has a beautiful view of the Tri-Spires and the gala in the distance. You can see the light emanating over the dark night sky.

LAURA: This might be a good place to leave the letter.

LIAM: Can you message the others?

MATT: There is a large bed, and floor itself is covered in tiger and animal skins as a means of decor in the space. The walls themselves are a faint gray-blue velvet texture. It's terrible. That's what you have in front of you.

LAURA: Should we look for traps in here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, one more time.

LAURA: One more time, we're looking for more traps.

TRAVIS: Anything that's an obvious trap in the bedroom.

LIAM: We're moving through the foyer.

SAM: I cast Message upstairs blindly, not knowing where they are, saying: we're in the house, we're coming up to help you. You can, of course, reply to this message.

MARISHA: Oh my god, you're on fire!

TRAVIS: 23 investigation.

LAURA: Nice. I rolled a 12 investigation. I respond, and I say: We're upstairs in her bedroom or office or something.

SAM: They're upstairs! Let's go! Ulog, they're not upstairs.

MATT: "Right." You guys all head up the stairs together as a group. Perception check on both your guys' points.

SAM: Oh shit.

LIAM: Girl!


MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Come on, it's on you.


MARISHA: Oh, did you *see* it?!

LAURA: Oh god, these lookouts!

SAM: Everyone *thinks* that Matt is managing three storylines right now, but there's actually a fourth that we don't even know about.


MATT: Five.


MATT: Okay. You guys keep an eye out in the vicinity. Nothing seems to pique your interest.

MARISHA: I switch my robe.

MATT: Again? Okay. Good to know. All right. You guys check around. There are no traps in the vicinity. You do, as you approach the roller desk, it is locked. There is like an actual keyhole and there is something that is meant to unlock the desk.

TRAVIS: Fuck. There's a key.

LIAM: Nott and Caleb are still going up the stairs.

MATT: Yeah. And Ulog-- you guys all come up to the landing and you can see the door inside. Nothing magical in the vicinity other than what you guys have on yourselves.

LAURA: I feel along the edge under her mattress and see if I can feel any keys.

TRAVIS: Can I reach underneath the desk and behind it? Underneath it.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

SAM: Yeah, *grope* that desk.

LAURA: Anything she's like stuck--


SAM: Yes, look at you!

MATT: Reaching around the desk, there's no tricks, no trips, no buttons or anything. You're looking through the bed?

LAURA: I'm reaching under her mattress and seeing if she's stuck anything between.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Natural 20!


TALIESIN: You know what kind of fold she uses in her undersheet. It's like that.

MATT: Nice. Reaching underneath, you find a hard object, a binding, and you pull-- it's a book. You slowly pull it out and take a look at it.

SAM: (whispers) Tusk Love!

LAURA: (laughs) Volume one.

MATT: No. It's a familiar leather tome that was an illegal story that was previously presented to you in a smut bookstore that had been hidden in the cushions of the bed. It has a place marker about two thirds of the way through.

LAURA: Oh, she's naughty.

MATT: Ulog at this point is looking about the room as well. He rushes over to the desk where you are and he goes, "Don't worry, I got this." He's going to go ahead and attempt to pick the lock on that.

LIAM: Have the vagrants caught up yet?

MATT: Yeah, you guys have all caught up. You're in the room now.

LIAM: Detect Magic wipe in this room.

MATT: As you glance through, there is a faint magical essence that begins to appear from the desk as Ulog (click) opens it. It slides open and you see a faint glow from a small case about that large sitting on the desk.

LIAM: Leave that box, that case, that box, be careful.

MATT: "That's fine." He starts--

LIAM: No, it's not fine!

MATT: No, he's going through paperwork.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: He's grabbing books and he's starting to thumb through--

TRAVIS: The priority is the letter. Let's start getting that paperwork.

LAURA: I run over with the letter and can we put it in her desk to hide it? The sealed letter.

MATT: Yeah. Go ahead and place the letter in there.

SAM: Should I open the little box again?

LAURA: Oh, is there a fireplace?

MATT: There is no fireplace in this room.

SAM: Schmidt!

TRAVIS: Aren't we supposed to toss the room, aren't we supposed to make it-- no, we're coming in and out, so--

LAURA: Is there a wastebasket?

MATT: You don't see a wastebasket necessarily, no. There's a small, almost like a pot of some kind that is set next to the desk that looks like it might be used as a receptacle occasionally.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, like a bedside pot.

LIAM: What is the type of magic emanating from the case?

MATT: That would be evocation.

LIAM: Evo-- (gasp) that's bad.

TRAVIS: Let's leave it alone. Let's get the letters in and the seals. Let's place it all.

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

SAM: Suspense!

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18. While the shape is not familiar to you, the size and the length of it, you've seen these type of cases before. They're usually used to contain important rolled pieces of parchment, specifically those that need to be protected from the elements because they contain enchantments on them. This is a scroll case.

SAM: Ooh! (taps feet rapidly) Take it! Take it!

MARISHA: No trace. Leave no trace!

TRAVIS: What are you doing?

MARISHA: God no, god!

MATT: Ulog is going through papers frantically and like searching through. He's going to make an investigation check.

MARISHA: No, don't fucking compromise everything!

LAURA: Caleb, I swear to fucking gods.

TRAVIS: Come on, the letters.

LAURA: Okay, I'll take the-- oh! I'm going to take the torn piece and hide it under her bed. Then I have the letter left, the Knights of Requital letter. Where should I put this?

TRAVIS: I mean, right on the desk, right? We should put it right there.

LAURA: On the desk as well? No, we should scatter it around so that if certain things don't get found-- is there any other good place like, in her bedside tables or anything like that?

MATT: There looks like a space there, it's a table, it doesn't have a drawer or anything, it's just a table you can hide something on or put something underneath.

LAURA: Is there clutter on the desk at all, or decorations and stuff?

MATT: A faint bit; there's like a candle and a small piece of clockwork.

LAURA: I'll fold up the Knights of Requital letter and hide it under her clock.

MATT: Okay. At that point, Ulog goes--

LAURA: Leave a little bit showing in the back, so that someone could find if they're investigating.

MATT: Right. There's another thing that you see there. There is a small box that is wrapped in silver cord that is resting on the desk on top of a stack of books.

TRAVIS: We've seen those cords before. Do not touch that!

LIAM: Also, there is no other magic around this room in the walls or anything, right?

MATT: Not at the moment.

LIAM: You've indicated everything that's here.

MATT: Everything that you've seen, yes.

LAURA: Are there any windows?

MATT: There are giant gable windows. You have the most beautiful view of the city.

LAURA: Can we see anything out the window? Is anybody coming, is--

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Does it look like the gala is ending?

SAM: Do they open, or are they picture windows? Wow.

LAURA: Perception check?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: Okay. Well, first off, Ulog at this point is going through and he goes, "I found it!" He's reading through and he's like frantically going through the words. "That fucking bitch."

SAM: What does it say?

MATT: He starts reading out loud as you're glancing over. He says, "These are the notes on Illiana's case. Saying that she wanted to show that even the most unassuming dwarf can be a cutthroat. She admits that she was innocent, but did it anyway just to set an example."

LAURA: So we can show this as evidence.

MATT: He takes it and folds it. "Oh yeah, we can." He holds it in his hand. As you glance over to the side, you can see the front gate (creak) open. Sorry, you see it close. (clink) You hear the sound. You guys hear this as well, though you were trying to keep an eye over there, you totally found yourself spacing a bit and didn't notice something shifting towards the door.

TALIESIN: As I'm walking away from the house, I start singing loudly, drunkenly (singing) I saw the moon in old, in the darkness.

LAURA: Somebody just got home!

TRAVIS: We got to get out of here. Let's go!

TALIESIN: I'm going to sing loudly as I'm slowly drunkenly making my way.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: We laid the letters. Touch nothing! Let's go!

LAURA: Run, run!

MATT: "Is it all set?"

LAURA: Everything's set! Run! Out the back door!

MATT: "Out the back door. All right." You guys all heading outside?

TRAVIS: I'm the last one to leave the room.

LIAM: Yeah I grab the scroll case--


TRAVIS: I summon the falchion. I hold it right up to his throat.

LIAM: You have to detect that I did it.

TRAVIS: Did you reach for it?

LIAM: Of course I did.

TRAVIS: I was the last one out of the room. Put it back.

MATT: Make a perception--

LIAM: Are you in the room?

TRAVIS: *Yes!* I was up here first!

MATT: Hold on. Make a perception check. Make a sleight of hand check. That's what this is for.

TRAVIS: I said I was the last one in that room.

MATT: You were.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Fuck. 13.

LIAM: Eight.

MATT: Eight? You notice him go for it.

TRAVIS: (whoosh) Leave no trace.

LIAM: No, I'm taking this.

TRAVIS: Put it back, or I'll--

LIAM: I'm taking this. This isn't worth my time, I'm taking this!

TRAVIS: Put it down, or I'll leave you here--

SAM: I pull out my hand crossbow and I point it at Fjord.

MATT: You guys all stop at the landing as you turn back.

SAM: Fjord, put that fucking thing down!

TRAVIS: (buzzing sound) My hand starts to glow with Eldritch Blast energy. I will fucking leave both of you here. We're either a team, or you're working for yourselves. Decide.

MATT: You guys are all watching this from the landing.

LIAM: I walk out.

LAURA: Somebody's coming.

MATT: As you all slowly come to rest and look back, and Caleb, as you walk out, you stop at the landing next to Ulog, and Beau-- oh sorry, you're not there. You stop next to Ulog as, right there at the bottom of the stairs looking up, you see, in a very beautiful, elegant, dark green dress, the High-Richter Prucine. "Hmm. My, my. I'm glad I forgot my gift, or I would have missed you reprobates breaking and entering the home of a High-Richter. I believe that carries a life sentence in the Umber Dungeon, wouldn't you say? If I might ask, what *are* you looking for? You have my curiosity piqued." There's a brief pause, as you're all glancing down. Ulog holds up the paper in his hand, and he goes, "You. You put my wife in chains and you *know* she's innocent! We got proof now! It's over for you." She chuckles and scoffs as she falls onto her back leg. "And how do you plan to deliver it? Curious. You think my home won't be swarming with guards in a few minutes?" She pulls a brass bell out from under her pouch and rings it outside--

LAURA: No-- I was going to say I cast Guiding Bolt at her, but--

MATT: It's such a fast moment, if you didn't have anything prepared, it happens too quickly. You're like "ah!" and the bell rings. "You, stump sucker. I'll bleed over the extra years of your sentence into your wife's. That way you can both rot together on opposite sides of the dungeon." Ulog looks at you all like, absolute fury and sadness in his eyes. You see like tears down his cheek.

LAURA: (whispers) Oh, I had it! Shitballs!

TALIESIN: Hold Person?

LAURA: Yeah, I had it prepared, and that's what I wanted to cast. (fake sobs)

MATT: He goes and takes the paper in his hand and puts it in your arm, Caleb, making eye contact with you, and goes, "Promise me you'll see her freed, friend."

LAURA: I cast Hold Person on her!

MATT: On her?

LAURA: I'm just going to do it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do it anyway!

MATT: All righty. Natural 20. She resists it. She goes, "What are you trying--" and Ulog goes, (roars) grabs towards his neck and runs, leaps off the stairs towards her and attempts to tackle her.

LAURA: We should take off while he does it.

MATT: You watch-- yeah. He goes and (boof)! She falls onto the ground and onto the landing of the spiral staircase. They both slide a moment. You watch as she goes, "What are you--" and he grabs and pulls that orange-ish bead that he had on his necklace and slams it into her mouth and holds it over.

SAM: Shit.

MATT: And there's a moment of tension before (explosion). A flash of white, fiery, burning light explodes...

MARISHA: (whispers) Oh my god, he just kamikazed.

MATT: ...a fireball sundering the interior of the staircase. You all have your ears ringing. The pain's there. The ones that are closest by would have been you, Caleb; I need you to roll a dexterity saving throw, please.

SAM: (whispers) It was a suicide!

LIAM: Seven.

MATT: That's a failure.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Thankfully a shitty roll for you. That is 21 points of fire damage.

LIAM: Unconscious.

MATT: Caleb goes unconscious onto the ground. As you guys all come to in the moment, you look down at the middle of the staircase: the walls are blackened, the staircase is currently in the process of burning, and down, you see the twisted, gnarled corpses of both Ulog and the High-Richter Prucine.

LAURA: (gasps) We have to get out of here!

TRAVIS: Yeah, we got to go.

MATT: You hear (boom).

TRAVIS: Jester, help me! We start backing up, yeah.

LAURA: I run down, I grab Caleb, and we run out the back door.

MATT: As you head down the stairway, you can see the front door being hit from the opposite side.

MARISHA: What do me and Molly see?

MATT: You guys watch this flash of light. The glass windows shatter outward from the balcony. The two guards at the bottom go, "Uh!" They quickly throw open the gate and are now currently slamming themselves trying to barricade into the door.

MARISHA: To the back!

TALIESIN: Yeah. We're going to start flanking to the back.

MATT: Okay. As you guys are rushing, make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.


TALIESIN and LAURA: Finally.

MATT: Okay. As you guys are rushing, you suddenly hear this very loud, high-pitched whine sound. You're like (pained sound). It causes your head to-- and you, especially glance over as you begin to surmise the direction, you look past and you can see the Tri-Spires there. In the direction, you see the mighty Zauber Spire, of the Halls of Erudition there in the distance, and you see there this growing, black, spherical mass beginning to emerge from the side of the lower third of the tower. You watch as it expands, the whining gets louder and louder.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take cover.

MARISHA: Get down!

MATT: You hear this crack sound as the black sphere suddenly folds into nothing, and where it was, you see all the stone that made that part of the tower collapse, crush, and then stumble. The tower begins to slowly shift, as you hear in the distance screams echoing around. The music stops. The attention of the guards suddenly shift over from the banging door to the tower crumbling. You watch as the tower-- suddenly there's a flash of blue light, and the tower stops. You see a brief shift of a force field on the bottom that holds it in place, partially collapsed. You see two figures take off from the top.

SAM: What is going on?!

MARISHA: What are the figures?!

MATT: You see two other figures leap out of the hole from where the explosion, weird black sphere was at the base of it, and leap down about 35-40 feet, below the tree line. You see the two figures begin coasting, flying through the air in the direction where they were, as bolts of energy start arcing out of their hands towards where those two other figures fell. The screams are getting louder now and you can see now the guards are starting to rush out of the various street corners. You guys are rushing around-- you were rushing towards the back, and then slowed as this started happening. It's distracting you. You guys start hearing this cacophony outside as you rush through the back door. You get to the back wall. What are you doing?

MARISHA: There's something bigger going on other than us.

TALIESIN: We've got to get out of here.

TRAVIS: Caleb's unconscious; we've got to get him out.

MARISHA: I try and--

LAURA: I don't have any spells left!

TRAVIS: I have a healing potion, I'll put it in Caleb's mouth.

MARISHA: I try and get that back door open and try and get them out.

MATT: You get that door open, you guys start rushing out there, you heal up Caleb. You come to consciousness being dragged, your feet grinding.

LIAM: I was doing death saves and it was not going well. Just for shits and giggles!


SAM: Alone upstairs, I pick up the scrolls and put them in my pocket.

MARISHA: I mean, the house is on fire now. God damn.

SAM: I'm going to open the gable windows, if they open, and jump out them.

MATT: Well, the windows are shattered, the explosion--

SAM: I jump out the windows and scatter as far as I can.

MATT: Make an acrobatics check followed by a stealth check.

MARISHA: Holy shit.

SAM: Ooh, acrobatics, not great. Ten. Stealth, 16.

MATT: Well, you reduce the damage you take by one die, so you only take two points of bludgeoning damage. As you land, your ankle twists, and you tumble and roll and get up. What's your stealth check?

SAM: 16.

MATT: Using the chaos that way and the guards that are now out in the middle of the street, you land behind them. One of them goes to turn in your direction, and you dart behind the wall, leap over the side and arc around to meet the rest of the party, as you all slowly begin to climb over the back wall, where Beau and Molly are waiting for you.

TALIESIN: We've got to get out of here.


LAURA: That went so bad!

MARISHA: I think we were a bigger distraction.

SAM: What's going on?

MARISHA: I think there's something else going.

SAM: Did we do this?!

MARISHA: No, we didn't!

SAM: It's Molly, isn't it? Molly did it!

LAURA: We’re running to the sewers!

MATT: Running to the sewers? Everyone make a stealth check as you're trying to make your way through there. People are now starting to run back to their homes, you can see people running and screaming now, dressed in full attire for the gala, leaving their masks behind, screaming bloody murder.


LAURA: Five.


LIAM: Five.

SAM: 19.


MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Give it to me!

TRAVIS: Bunch of teens and a five!

MATT: I know, that's okay. So a couple of bad rolls, but for the most part, you guys averaged okay. Thankfully with the chaos, and the way you are dressed, you manage to push through and mingle well, it wasn't too hard. You make your way through the town, you can see the tower still being held in place and the two figures that you saw gliding before? As this is happening, and you're rushing through, you see a few other bolts hit, a large bolt of lightning grind down in the distance, before eventually they both begin to peer over and are now looking up and down the streets. As you make your way back towards the alley, over by where the gala is, you see a shadowed figure dart out from behind, and a bolt of lightning strike. There's a detonation of burned ozone as the figure falls to the ground, smoking.

MARISHA: I go over to the figure, I go over to the figure.

MATT: As you walk over to the figure, you see one of the flying entities floating down. You can see now this robed mage figure, with a staff in hand, wearing a large ornamental mantle, long grayish hair, is now gliding down in the direction of the dark figure of the ground.

SAM: Male or female?

MATT: Male.

LAURA: Steer clear of lightning people!

MATT: Yeah, you guys see this as you come around--

LIAM: Age?

MATT: The age roughly, from this distance from what you can see, its later. Older age, 70s human, if human, but you can't quite get the details. It starts shouting, "One has fallen. Find the other," and coasts back off, doing a pass, looking through the various streets.

MARISHA: Once he's gone, can I wait to--

MATT: Well, the guards have rushed forwards and grabbed the body and are now dragging it back towards the tower.

MARISHA: What does that body look like, though?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Come on.

MARISHA: Big money-- (screams in anger). Fucking shit, what is with these fucking rolls! 18. Sorry, sorry, no, that's super wrong.

MATT: Aw, 18!

MARISHA: I saw an 8 and I was adding shit! 11, sorry, 11.

MATT: All you can see is the cloak. The cloak is blocking most of the body, you see a hand behind that's like a leather gauntlet except for fingers exposed. The fingers appear to be-- the glove or design of it are almost like they were dipped in blue. Like there's some sort of a blue tipped glove as its dragged back. That's all the details you can make out, unfortunately, as it's being pulled away off the street. The guards are now swarming, people are trying to get back to their houses. People are swarming the gate out of the Tri-Spire, and the guards are trying to hold them back, calm them down, and it’s nearing a riot at this point. You guys make your way over to the edge of the sewers, begin to look around for a moment where nobody's watching, and one by one make your way down into the darkness, closing it behind you. As you all get down into the quiet of the underground, there's a moment where you can hear the distant muffling of movement. Footsteps, making their way back and forth across the alleyway, other yells and screams, information in the distance, far too far away for you to make out the details of what's being said. What do you do?

TRAVIS: Those men were flying!

MARISHA: Those men were super powerful.

SAM: We need to get far away from here.

LAURA: We need to get back to the other side. Oh my gosh.

MARISHA: Who were they targeting?

LAURA: They were targeting-- I don't know!

LIAM: Not us.

LAURA: Are you sure they weren't looking for us?

LIAM: No, I don't think so.

TALIESIN: This was something entirely different.

LIAM: We need to go find a shitty place and lay low.

MARISHA: He was in blue, his gauntlets were dipped in blue.

LAURA: Like the Cobalt people?

MARISHA: Kind of.

TRAVIS: Let's get back to the Leaky Tap. We've seen the power of the Dwendalian Empire. That was more than anything I've ever seen, we've got to get back.

LAURA: I've never seen someone fly before.

TRAVIS: Neither have I. Lightning, it turned him almost into ash. Let's get back we can talk about it when we're in our rooms safe.

LAURA: The High-Richter's dead, you guys. That wasn't part of the plan!

SAM: And Ulog too. I think I was sort of mean to him.

TALIESIN: What happened?

MARISHA: I tried to get Ulog to stay and he didn't listen.

TRAVIS: Ulog sacrificed himself. He killed himself and the Richter.

MATT: Caleb, at this point you glance down and you're still clutching, in your fingers--

LIAM: The stone?

MATT: No, the paper that Ulog left behind.


MATT: Are you guys making your way back?

TRAVIS: Hell yeah.

MATT: You're heading back through the sewers the direction you came.

LIAM: We are walking away.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Be aware of the rat balloons.

MATT: Barely sneaking away from the insanity of the district, you walk through the darkened sewers down the same familiar path that you walked to make your exit, coming up on one of the false junctions, where the left side of it is partially collapsed but the right side continues to where the T-section is. Beauregard, Caleb and Molly and Jester, because you guys all have the higher passive perceptions, you begin to notice this area where there's no water that drains down the centre groove of this part, you see spatters of liquid.

LAURA: Does it look dark?

LIAM: What is it?

MATT: Well, there's no light in here currently.

LIAM: Ah. (poof, poof). Dancing Lights.

MATT: Dancing Lights open up the area here as you hit the intersection. You see it is dark and red.


MATT: It is spatters of blood, and as you glance up right there at the intersection, you see a figure, one hand against the wall, breathing heavily. You glance towards it and take a moment as the light globes are now shifting out to light the space. You see a humanoid figure, seemingly male in outline, adorned in jet black, almost insect-like leather armour that protrudes in large sweeping hooks at the joints - the elbow joints, the shoulders. A helmet that's form-fit black leather and onyx studs wraps around their head. It looks demonic, the brow plate sweeping backwards into rear facing horns. Their other hand is dangling, clutching a cannonball-sized, twelve-sided dodecahedron shape, about that big, that has a handle on each side. It's emitting a dull undulating grey glow.

TRAVIS: I cast Armor of Agathys on myself.

MATT: As you cast Armor of Agathys on yourself, the figure, which you now see is the source of the blood, looks heavily wounded and is breathing heavily. The lights now up, its head (creaks) turns towards you and you hear a voice say (guttural speech). Does anybody here speak Undercommon?

TRAVIS: Undercommon, anyone?

LIAM: I cast Comprehend Languages.

MATT: What are the components of that one?

LIAM: That is verbal, somatic, and material. A pinch of soot of salt which I throw out in front of me.

MATT: As you begin to make the incantation, the figure pulls their hand away and draws this horrible, gnarly-looking hooked blade from the sheath, and goes (snarls) and rushes in towards you. And that's where we're going to pick up next week.



LAURA: Everything went to shit!

TRAVIS: It went perfectly, ha!

MARISHA: That was a Crick!

SAM: What's a Crick?

LIAM: People from Xhorhas!

SAM: I thought that was a story.


MARISHA: Crick assassins!

LIAM: Trust the porn!

ALL: Trust the porn!

MATT: Always trust the porn.

MARISHA: Edubation! That's why!

SAM: I should've been more edubated.

TALIESIN: You would be doing better if you edubated every night.

MATT: There were a few chances for you guys to see High-Richter Prucine arriving, but you kept rolling low perception on the outside--

MARISHA: They were fucking balls!

MATT: --and I was like, “All right she's going to get the drop on you guys.” There were so many different ways that could've gone. But it made for an interesting story!

TALIESIN: That was a clusterfuck. That was amazing. You're all terrible people.

LIAM: Edubate once a day.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

LIAM: Oh Fjord, it is over. Bromance is over!

TALIESIN: I cannot wait for this shit! I am in this shit! Finally, I'm so excited.

MATT: Aw, man.

LAURA: It's so good.

MATT: Guys, that was awesome, well done.

TRAVIS: And Nott took it anyway!

MARISHA: I know, she did!

LIAM: She's dead. The owner is dead.

MARISHA: Well, now! At the moment, though, there's no excuse.

MATT: They don't trust people that don't look trustworthy like you, Molly.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

MARISHA: Of course. Doesn't mean they're not shitty selfish ones.

LIAM: They are shitty selfish ones.

MATT: All righty guys, thank you so much for watching. We'll pick this up next week on Thursday. Talks Machina next week on Tuesday about this episode. Look forward to seeing you guys who are coming to C2E2. Until then, have a wonderful night, have a wonderful weekend, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.


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