Pre-Show[]
BRENNAN: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Exandria Unlimited: Divergence. Wow. A story of an age of wrath and ruin, and of the events that unfolded and ended that age of Calamity. I'm your dungeon master, and I'd like to introduce you to your players for this incredible series. To my left, Liam O'Brien!
LIAM: Heyyo, oh 'ey.
BRENNAN: Jasmine Don.
JASMINE: Yee.
BRENNAN: Alexander Ward.
ALEXANDER: What Liam said.
BRENNAN: Celia Rose Gooding.
CELIA: Yeaah.
BRENNAN: And Matthew Mercer!
MATT: (yells)
BRENNAN: Oh, we could not be more excited to bring you this tale of wrath, ruin, and woe, and of the things that come after, but first, we have some announcements. So Matt, could you come up and make some announcements for us?
MATT: Yeah, I'll get over there.
BRENNAN: They don't let me do these. ♪ (harp glissando) ♪
MATT: All righty. Sam, why don't you tell us about tonight's sponsor?
SAM: "Sam, why don't you tell us about tonight's sponsor." That's right. That is how you used to say it. Oh wow, and look, the desk is the same and the lights, the microphones. It's just where everything used to be. This is amazing.
MATT: Sam, what are-- What are you even?
SAM: I'm just getting sentimental, Matt. You know how sometimes suddenly it hits you, you see something and it triggers a memory flooding back? Like look, there's Laura's dice. Oh, and look, there's Laura!
LAURA: Hi.
SAM: She still smells the same. And there's Travis, he's still got that mustard on his lip. It feels like we were just here. It feels like we were here just a few days ago, doesn't it?
MATT: Sam, we were just here a few days ago.
SAM: I know. That's what it feels like. It's incredible.
MATT: And you really have to read the sponsorship.
SAM: Yeah, I did, didn't I?
MATT: No, no. I mean, like, right now, you have to read the sponsorship.
SAM: Oh, right, right, right.
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: "Avowed" is a first-person fantasy action RPG from the award-winning team at Obsidian Entertainment. Set in the world of Eora, introduced in "Pillars of Eternity," you are the envoy of Aedyr, a distant land, sent to investigate rumors of a spreading plague throughout the Living Lands, a mysterious island filled with adventure and danger. Can you save this unknown frontier and your soul from forces threatening to tear them asunder? Explore the wild island landscapes, mix and match swords, spells, guns, and shields to fight your way. Choose companions (deep breath) with special abilities to fight with you. Your choices will help shape your world as you pursue your quest. Wow, I used to be so good at these ads, wasn't I?
MATT: Except you forgot the website.
SAM: Exactly like I used to. Go to xbox.com/avowed to preorder now, or even play today with a premium edition.
MATT: Back to you?
SAM: No, there's more!
TRAVIS: What?! (laughter)
MATT: Okay. (laughter)
MATT: Don't forget to check out our "Avowed" one-shot February 18th, featuring GM Matthew Mercer, Marisha Ray, Travis-- This is a one-shot that you guys are in. Marisha Ray, Travis Willingham, Anjali Bhimani, Whitney Moore?! SungWon Cho?! What?!
MARISHA: Yeah. Yes!
SAM: Those are huge names!
TRAVIS: I know! Except Marisha.
MARISHA: It was-- well.
SAM: On Twitch.
MARISHA: I'm lucky to be here.
SAM: On Twitch.
MATT: Aren't we all?
SAM: On Twitch, YouTube, and Beacon.tv at 7:00pm Pacific. Thank you, Xbox, for sponsoring this episode. Now, Matt, back to you.
MATT: Thank you, Sam. Now I'm going to show you how to do an actual sponsorship ad. (clamoring)
MATT: What?!
TRAVIS: The gauntlet has been thrown down!
SAM: Matt, my sponsorship had so many words.
MATT: That's okay. Because our next sponsor is Quip. (laughter)
MATT: They've sent us their amazing new electric toothbrush, the Quip 360. I can't spin it in my fingers yet, but I'll get to it. The Quip 360 has completely transformed my dental routine, which was necessary, but I used to rely on a manual toothbrush, Marisha knows this, and now I'll never turn back because I got this. The Quip 360 is sleek, effective, and super quiet. No loud buzzing, just a smooth and thorough clean.
SAM: No buzzing?
MATT: Turn on your toothbrushes, guys. You're supposed to have them.
LAURA: I don't have one. (murmuring)
MATT: I have mine on.
ASHLEY: Toothpaste.
SAM: I have water.
MATT: Listen to how quiet it is.
SAM: This one doesn't buzz.
TALIESIN: I have it.
MATT: It is actually scientifically proven to remove 11 times more plaque and whiten your teeth twice as much from day one, plus it's backed by the American Dental Association. If for any reason it's not the right fit for you, you can return it for free within 30 days, but if you love it, you'll get a lifetime warranty and the option to subscribe for free refills every three months, just like the 25,000 five-star reviews and happy mouths already raving about Quip. (louder) For Critters, you can also get 20% off sitewide plus free travel cases like this, (higher pitched) and a countertop stand at getquip.com/criticalrole. Why am I getting so loud? (normal) That's a 20% off and a free travel case, only at getquip.com/criticalrole.
MARISHA: Say that one more time.
MATT: Getquip.com/criticalrole.
MARISHA: Nailed it.
LIAM: Gotcha.
MATT: Thank you, Quip, for sponsoring this episode. And that's the end of that. Showed you, Sam.
SAM: Yeah, you did.
TRAVIS: That was a masterclass.
MARISHA: That was so good.
TRAVIS: Golf clap. Polite golf clap.
SAM: You advertised the shit out of it.
MARISHA: Wow.
MATT: We're also excited to finally share the release date for Daggerheart, our upcoming heroic-- (cheering) Upcoming heroic fantasy tabletop roleplaying game designed for player-driven stories. On May 20th, you'll be able to officially purchase Daggerheart at Critical Role shops and Darrington Press Guild stores, followed soon after--
SAM: We made a game!
MATT: -- everywhere books and games are sold. I'm so proud, so excited. Can't wait for you all to check it out. Daggerheart has been such a journey for us over many years, with hard work by dozens of incredible creatives and honed through all your help during the Open Beta Playtest last year. In the meantime, however, you can preorder now at daggerheart.com. We can't wait for May to come and share this game with you. So excited. I think you'll like it.
TRAVIS: Show us your fungrils, show us your ribbets.
MARISHA: Yes, we want to see those characters!
SAM: Great game.
MARISHA: Show us your builds.
SAM and LAURA: It is!
MATT: Marisha, you're up.
MARISHA: I am. In case you missed it, I'm not sure how you would-- If you're watching this-- It doesn't matter. In case you missed it, we said a grand farewell to Bells Hells.
TRAVIS: Yay.
SAM: Spoilers.
MARISHA: Which, if you're watching, never mind. Yeah, it's kind of the closing of a chapter of 10 years worth of stories in our epic eight-hour finale.
TRAVIS: Eight hours?!
MARISHA: It's kind of more than that. It was like eight and a half, and then the pre-show.
SAM: Some say it's still going on.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Eight and a skosh.
MARISHA: Yeah, it was an eight-hour finale that happened last week, and you can catch Matthew Mercer answering all of your burning questions in our latest Fireside Chat. It is only available on Beacon, so if you haven't checked it out, head over to Beacon.tv and start your seven-day free trial now. And of course, as I said before, we will be doing a big campaign wrap-up, but we thought we could have Matt answer some of your immediate questions for now.
MATT: Just sit down and make it a little more personal. Laura, you're up.
LAURA: Ah! Coming soon.
LIAM: What you got?
LAURA: Speaking of our epic eight and a half-hour wrap-up, I have this Bells Hells Final Stand t-shirt.
LIAM: Cool!
LAURA: Artwork by Ionomycin.
TALIESIN: Oh wow.
LAURA: It's all the members of Bells Hells. I know, it's so cool! It's not out yet, but you can sign up to be notified when it's in stock in our US, Canada, UK, and EU stores.
ASHLEY: Hey, Braius is on there!
SAM: Wait, what, where? (yells)
MATT: Look at that horny boy.
ASHLEY: And FCG!
LAURA: Yeah, it's got all of us!
MARISHA: He takes up so much real estate.
TRAVIS: We get advance copies of this one, right?
ASHLEY: Oh, I love this.
LAURA: Yeah. So yeah, check it out.
LIAM: He's right in the center of the "film shoot."
SAM: Oh, nice.
MATT: Yeah. All right.
SAM: You're so smart for never showing these to us before.
LAURA: I know, right?
ASHLEY: I know.
TRAVIS: I have complaints.
ASHLEY: God, this is so cool.
SAM: Damn it, Sam. Liam, you have?
LIAM: I have beautiful artifacts to show you.
TRAVIS: You do?
LIAM: "The Chronicles of Exandria."
SAM: Oh my god.
LIAM: "The Mighty Nein, Part Two"--
TRAVIS: (yells) Look at that!
LIAM: -- is now available.
MARISHA: There it is, there it is.
LIAM: This stunning art book from our friends at Dark Horse contains over 300 pieces of art and filled with lore and more all written by our own Dani Carr.
MATT: Yeah, Dani! (cheering)
LIAM: She killed it. She killed it. I can't wait for you guys to read her words and see all this amazing art. It is available in two glorious editions. A standard, it's pretty good, pretty beautiful. And--
TALIESIN: I'll take that one.
LIAM: -- a deluxe edition. It comes with this gorgeous slip case and there's a folio and a limited edition print. Look at this thing.
ASHLEY: Whoa!
LIAM: Look at this thing!
ASHLEY: What is all this?
LIAM: (groans)
ASHLEY: Wait, and this-- And like a GM screen?
LIAM: It's gor-geous.
MARISHA: It's like a little fold-out.
LAURA: It's a print!
ASHLEY: Oh, it's a print!
LIAM: Yep, out at sea.
MATT: You could use it as a DM screen.
LIAM: It's like a lithograph.
TALIESIN: Then that is filled with things, that is just so much stuff.
LAURA: This is filled with so many things.
ASHLEY: Wait, can I show it or no?
LAURA: No, no, no, we're going to surprise them.
LIAM: It really came out. It's been a work of love. It is gorgeous, and you can find more details about it at darkhorse.com or on where you can get these gorgeous art books.
MARISHA: Yes. Those are great for signatures at cons, by the way.
LAURA: Oh yeah.
LIAM: Yes, yes.
LAURA: It's so good.
SAM: Is Braius in that one as well?
LIAM: Not in any book I work on. (laughter)
LAURA: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
TRAVIS: That looks great, man.
ASHLEY: May I see it, may I see it?
LIAM: Yeah, take it.
MATT: I think that concludes our announcements. Brennan, get back in here. ♪ (harp glissando) ♪ ♪ (vocal harp glissando) ♪
SAM: Hi, Brennan.
BRENNAN: And with that, let's dive right into tonight's episode of Exandria Unlimited: Divergence. (explosions) ♪ (dramatic music) ♪
Part I[]
BRENNAN: "Hope is a dangerous thing. Cruel and painful." You behold on obsidian walls overlooking the fortress prison of Rybad-Kol. Your leader, Azmog, a vampiric hobgoblin dressed in black armor who holds a writhing hobgoblin elder by the throat, lifting him up off the ground. The Sundering Lord, ruler of the Steel Keep. This is the commander of the garrison of the prison, which all of you will know from this day to your last. "Hope, that which corrodes the soul and weakens the spirit, that sharpest and most painful barb. It can drive you to madness if you let it. No. For you, my pets, I do not wish this." Under his hand, you see (choked grunting) writhing, the elder that is held aloft. Silver streaks in his hair. He wears the clothes of a prisoner, the one who is held aloft, as Azmog raises him ever higher. The Sundering Lord looks at all of you. "If pain is what you feel, then it is the comfort of despair you must seek. Surrendering hope is the only balm you will ever know. Some would tell you otherwise. They're fools." Assembled beneath him, filling the square of the central plaza of Rybad-Kol under a red, ash choked sky, you see a thousand prisoners on their knees shackled. Surrounding them, armored fire giants, row upon row of human, half-orc, hobgoblin. You see that there are numerous demons populating the walls, chattering in glee and laughter as they look down at this public display of power. "For those who require assistance ridding themselves of that most painful substance, allow me to inform you, despite the ministrations of the rebellious in nature, when next the red moon touches the western sky, we will march to glory and the final defeat of the Prime Deities. For the Strife Emperor!" (unified chanting) The armies assembled on the walls chant in unison, massive drums, each 40 feet tall with hobgoblin drummers standing beside them, massive batons in their hands. You look out. "Word has just reached the Steel Keep. The All-Hammer is dead." (thunderous cheering) Cheer arises. "The Platinum Dragon, devoured!" (cheering) "And of course, the Moonweaver has just met her final end. But what of your divinity?" Here, he turns to face the hobgoblin still choking under his supernaturally strong grip. "The Changebringer, that mistress of good fortune. Do you see good fortune before you here?" He drops the hobgoblin to the wall. The hobgoblin elder, a secret worshiper of the Changebringer, raises his head. "She has not seemed to save you here. Speak. Do you repent, knowing that your ultimate defeat is soon at hand?" You see the hobgoblin look and whisper, "I do not, I do not, I do not." (Azmog) "No?" You see Azmog lifts a hand out under the open sun because even as a vampire, the sun has not shone here in a hundred years. Perhaps he has no need of rest. He raises his fingers to snap them. Below, you see there is a small family of hobgoblin prisoners looking up. You see that behind them, a group of soldiers draws their weapon to level them at their face. The elder, a thin leather cord that has had his holy symbol ripped off of it, looks down. (hobgoblin elder) "I repent, I repent. Please don't hurt them. Please don't hurt them." (Azmog) "What's that? Speak louder, that the other prisoners might hear." (hobgoblin elder) "I repent! Change is not coming! The Changebringer cannot save us. Listen to what they say. I'm sorry. I repent! I have wasted my life in worship to her. I do not believe!" (Azmog) "Persuasive words. I'm glad that you at last have seen the truth before the lie of hope could destroy you. The Strife Emperor still does demand punishment, though." Azmog reaches a clawed hand into the stomach of the hobgoblin elder up through the chest, through the neck, grabs the mouth and skull of this elder from within and wrenches the head into the chest cavity of the body, arm covered in viscera as he sloughs him off and he falls 150 feet to splatter in the court before you. Azmog smiles, (slurps) licks the blood off his fingers, turns to a lieutenant, a massive human enforcer, thick cast iron armor, and nods. Turns back and goes, "What are you waiting for? Back to work, you slags!" (rhythmic drum beat) The drums beat and the prisoners are yanked through chains. (grunts) Back to work. This is Calamity and the terrible work of the Betrayers. Matt. I would like you to describe your character for us and what he is currently busy doing, with the knowledge that your hand is bleeding under the effort that you now expend.
MATT: You see amongst the cacophonous crowd of shouting soldiers and quiet, stunned prisoners, one elder dwarf, probably far older looking due to his recent life than actual age. But his gray and white streaked hair itself, a tattered mess of a tangled mane. His beard itself, tattered and burned at the edges of the very tips. Very simple gray, dirty clothing with an open, loose vest around it. A stoneworking hammer in one hand, the one hand he has, for the left arm itself is gone past the elbow, in its place a rough metal cap of iron slag, cauterized what may have been a wound or a punishment of some past moment. But he takes all this display in, emotionless, brow low, a familiar display before he turns around amongst the rest of the quarry members that he works alongside.
BRENNAN: You march down into the Pit, you and your fellow prisoners, and resume quarrying. Deep, deep down. Even the red smudge of where some distant sun touches the sky, that vanishes as well under the haze of dust and rock. You hear coughing, shouting, whimpering, and wailing nearby as some collapse under the strain. You return to a massive slab of this deep volcanic rock that will be quarried here and shipped out to make some new castle at some far distant edge of the Strife Emperor's empire. You've been here so long that there are parts of the world before you can barely remember. Your family name is gone. What life was like before this is hard to recall. Go ahead, if you'd be so kind, and give me a stonemason's tools check to make sure that you can work fast enough to avoid punishment.
MATT: All right. Just to recheck, it's a plus two. That's going to be a 19.
BRENNAN: Injured though you are, you take to your work. You've done this a hundred--? No, more than a hundred times. Have you done it a thousand times? You might have. As our audience at home can see, what you add to this roll, you add from an NPC stat block. (laughter)
BRENNAN: This is a very different story here in the world of Exandria.
LIAM: Level twen-- no.
BRENNAN: (laughs) No.
MATT: Garen's sitting pretty at 13 hit points.
BRENNAN: Hey, for a level zero NPC for a challenge rating, what, one quarter, one eighth?
MATT: One eighth.
ALEXANDER: Eighth.
BRENNAN: A challenge rating one eighth NPC.
JASMINE: That's almost twice much as me. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Not bad, not bad.
MATT: Get behind me.
BRENNAN: On a 19, you get to work carving the stone. There's a deep familiarity here in this place. You know how to work the earth here. Deep volcanic activity is familiar underneath the hammer in your hand. You, having this terrible injury, You, having this terrible injury, get the chisel in a crook of your arm and manage to strike against it with your other hand, working as fast as you can. I'd like you to make a wisdom saving throw with disadvantage for me.
MATT: A majestic nine.
BRENNAN: As you continue to work, you hear a voice nearby as you're continuing to push through. It reaches out to you speaking, "Dad? Papa, turn around. Where are you?"
MATT: No, no. Keep working. Can't turn around.
BRENNAN: You hear laughter behind you somewhere. You can smell something like some kind of crackling of a fire and roast meat. Children laughing somewhere. An old voice. "Gather round, gather round. Well, there's plenty to go." (whoosh) "Oghman, have you been giving them cracklings off of the roast beef? That's for later, save it for dinner." More laughing. Another voice says, "Well, we've been down there mining and we found a new vein down there. Good for the whole clan. We'll be able to come together. I should imagine there'd be some--" You hear, on that nine wisdom check, you feel a hand on your shoulder. "Pop, turn around."
MATT: I slowly glance.
BRENNAN: It's a beautiful hall with fine dwarven tables set out, heaping bowls of buttery roast mushrooms and fresh bread, brown bread. You can smell the steam coming off of it. You see a beautiful handful of your nephews and nieces all with children of their own gathered around, speaking to each other. You see one of them says, "Well the bridge will be the longest bridge we've ever seen. It'll connect to the old highway that runs down under the pass back to the main city." You see he says, "Well, it's good work for masons." You see they all nod and say, "Good work for certain." You see kids scamper underneath. One of them has a little copper mechanical toy, runs through. You turn and you see your son looking up at you. This is Dari. "Dad, what are you so busy with?"
MATT: Dari, I'm trying to make sure we all got places to go home.
BRENNAN: "Well, I know you're trying to take care of us, but the point of all this hard work is to make something worth sharing. We want to share it with you."
MATT: (chuckles) I know. You're right. It's been a long week, and you know I'm not one to give myself to rest unearned, but...
BRENNAN: "Oh, you'll have no part resting, that's for sure." You see, you feel your brother put his arm around you. You can't quite see his face for some reason. I think his name is... God, what was his name? You feel a tankard pushed into your chest. You see a foam of ale coming off the top of the tankard.
MATT: Careful where you set that, boy. Don't want me to smell like I've been drinking on the job.
BRENNAN: "When Garen is around, no way it'll touch the table, that's for certain."
MATT and BRENNAN: (laugh) As you look around and see kids running in this place, what is Garen feeling in this moment?
MATT: I think-- I think he spent so much time numb and outside of himself. His mind is instinctually seizing whatever this might be to provide some comfort. He is lost in the memory, and for a brief second, forgets everything else.
BRENNAN: It feels really good to forget everything else. You're led towards a table, and there's a seat ready for you. A dwarven woman smiles at you. This is your niece Asha, and she puts a grandchild on your lap, looks up, and you see that the grandchild cocks a head and begins to dig through your beard, looking for something.
MATT: Making a nest there, child.
BRENNAN: "Cousin Yari told me that you hid treats in your beard."
MATT: Well, I do, but I hide them quite well, so you've got to keep searching.
BRENNAN: "I got in trouble at school for stealing."
MATT: That's only because you're still learning to do it proper. (chuckles)
BRENNAN: "I'll be as good with my hands as me da and me ma, and you, grandda, because you-- Is it because we're stonemasons because you're a stonemason, and because your da was a stonemason, and his da was a stonemason?"
MATT: Aye, it's tradition. We're good with our hands, and being sure that wherever we find home, we have a place to put our heads down, to keep you and your mother and the rest of us safe, a place with a warm fire, and that is something. Something worth fighting for, something worth working for. Maybe one day I'll show you how to properly carve this beautiful and rich Exandrian land into what your mind's eye can see, something that'll last far after you're gone.
BRENNAN: Your grandchild continues to speak, but you're not able to hear what they're saying anymore. You hear voices. "Dad, I'm scared. Dad, Grandpa, I'm scared, I'm scared!" (echoing whispers)
MATT: It's all right. We built Uthtor strong, it'll hold. Just stay safe. Stay back.
BRENNAN: (multiple voices) "Please take care of--" "Please take care of us." "Please take care--" With that, you feel suddenly that these voices of your family, calling out in fear, and you awaken horizontal on the ground, on that failed wisdom save having passed out due to exhaustion or possibly age as a boot thunders into your stomach. "Well, look at this. A lazy prisoner sleeping on the job, innit?"
MATT: I'm sorry, it's just--
BRENNAN: "No, you got to teach a lesson when someone steps out--" You see that there is a goblin enforcer here. This is Kuzzle, who begins to thunder this boot into your stomach over and over again. He's going to make an attack roll. That is a hit, and he deals four points of damage to you.
MATT: (coughing)
BRENNAN: "Now, explain to me why you should go without being punished!"
MATT: I cannot. Punish me as you will, but I can't work if I can't stand.
BRENNAN: Give me a persuasion check. The difficulty is 15.
MATT: 16.
BRENNAN: 16. "That's right, he does need to work, don't he?" You see that, standing over him, there is an enormous human lord who looks around and says, "Why did you fall asleep?"
MATT: I guess the day's exhaustion caught up to me. I need some water, drink, but I'll be all right. I'll be all right.
BRENNAN: He lashes out at you for five points of damage.
MATT: (pained grunt)
BRENNAN: "You need water? Is that your place, to determine when you require sustenance or aid?"
MATT: No. My apologies. Was but a suggestion.
BRENNAN: You see he says, looks down at the goblin, "Kuzzle, see that his water share is given to another prisoner," and turns around. I'll need a constitution saving throw from you.
MATT: Natural 20.
BRENNAN: Hell yes.
MATT: I'm a true dwarf! (laughter)
JASMINE: Yeah!
BRENNAN: Incredible. You continue to work through the injuries as you have received them, and what I would love is, as you are down here in the Pit, I would love for Celia, for you to describe your character as she walks through the Pit looking for those who are injured.
CELIA: Yeah. Rei'nia, she is walking through the Pit. She's, dark brown skin, white-silver locs that she tries to keep them from fusing. She is walking around the Pit listening but trying not to absorb the sounds that are surrounding her, the screaming, the wailing. She is hoping that her eyes, her very, very observant eyes, can clock the people that she's looking for. She's trying to make sure that no limps are any worse than they were yesterday, or that there is no one looking more sickly than they were the day before. She isn't a healer; she's a preserver of these bodies, and her instinct and want to care is something that she constantly fights, because after the display today, she's reminded that her hope, while she maintains it, is something that she must hide.
BRENNAN: As you move through this place, give me either perception or medicine, and you may do so with advantage.
CELIA: Okay. That's a d20, right?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
CELIA: Thank you.
ALEXANDER: It's the 20-sided one.
CELIA: (laughs) Perfect, thank you so much. Please! That's a nat 20!
BRENNAN: Whoa! Nia, your eyes, moving through this place, looking at the horror, after a big public display, and you've been here not as long as most, but even in the short time that you've been here, you've seen these public displays a couple times. If anything, they're becoming more frequent, where they will find-- In this case, you believe there was a genuine devotee of one of the Prime Deities. Sometimes you wonder if they even were genuine. Looking around for those that are in harm's way, there is someone that you would have probably missed on anything other than a nat 20, because he is not holding his body in any way like he is uncapable of continuing to work, but you notice through basically the shimmer of still-wet blood in his garments that Garen is working through an injury that probably would've killed most of the prisoners here.
CELIA: I turn to Garen and I ask him very plainly: You want my help this time?
MATT: Ah, Nia. (chuckles) I think I'm all right. I don't want you to--
CELIA: Garen, you don't have to do this. Let's just patch you up.
BRENNAN: You see Kuzzle walks over to you, smiling. He's got a leather vest on, leather britches. Walks over and goes, "Ah, Nia. Pleasure to have you down here in the Pit again."
CELIA: Hi, Kuzzle. You're doing a number.
BRENNAN: "Ah, well, you got to keep rowdy ones like this one in line." (cackles)
CELIA: You make my job so easy, Kuzzle. Thank you.
BRENNAN: "We knock them down, you set them up!" (licks lips)
CELIA: Nia does not like the idea of working with Kuzzle, having anything in community with him. The idea of her being a part of what makes Kuzzle enjoy his job makes her sick to her stomach, so she bites her tongue and tries to duck and get Garen to the Mop.
BRENNAN: You see he says-- Kuzzle looks over to you and says, "Hang on, you taking my fellow here away from me?"
CELIA: Well, yes. You knock them down, I set them up.
BRENNAN: (chuckles)
MATT: (coughs) I intentionally cough blood into the white beard.
BRENNAN: "Disgusting!"
CELIA: Let me take care of this, Kuzzle. We'll be back before you know it.
BRENNAN: "All right, well, you got to do what you got to do, ain't you, because otherwise, you know, they get out of order."
CELIA: Well, we wouldn't have that, now would we?
MATT: Thank you, Kuzzle.
CELIA: Nia hates, Nia hates the apologizing that Garen does, but she understands that everyone has their own survival instincts. But the idea that-- It pisses her off. It bothers her. She doesn't let it show because she understands that she goes not want to be in Garen's situation, but keeps it moving, bites her tongue, keeps pushing.
BRENNAN: You see Kuzzle looks out after you and says, "If he don't make it, let us know, because we can use the iron from that arm cap. (snickers) We'll make a special knife just out of him, in memoriam for our longest serving prisoner. You've been here since before I was here!"
MATT: It would be an honor to be remembered.
CELIA: I've never known you as sentimental, Kuzzle. It's almost like you're having a heart.
MATT: You've been here long enough, you can't help but find some kinship.
BRENNAN: He says, "We're all one big family, ain't we? Everyone gets what they deserve. Those of us who are loyal to the Strife Emperor, and those of us who've crossed him." You see that he says, "And I do have a heart. It beats for all those who do as they're supposed to." You see that that larger, armored human drops a cudgel at the end of a length of chain and goes, "Enough fraternizing. You, prisoner, you are given leave to walk freely to tend to those who are harmed here. Do not joke at the expense of those who carry out the Strife Emperor's order."
CELIA: Right. Won't happen again.
BRENNAN: As you, Nia, move from this place with Garen, you guys get out of earshot of Kuzzle and the other sergeants and lieutenants of the Pit.
MATT: You didn't have to help me. I could keep going.
CELIA: That means nothing. You were on the floor.
MATT: Wasn't the first time. Wasn't the twelfth.
CELIA: Obviously, but when you fall, and if you keep going and going and going, they're going to turn to me, and if you're not going to stick up for yourself for yourself, do it for me, please.
MATT: Aye, you're right.
CELIA: Thank you.
MATT: You're right. Thank you.
CELIA: Do you know what happened? I didn't see anything. I was walking around, and I heard more than I saw.
MATT: I think for a moment, I was too tired not to hope. I just-- I took a nap. That's all. They don't like that, you know?
CELIA: No, they don't. Never known you to nap on the job.
MATT: (sighs) These are strange times.
CELIA: Strange times.
MATT: How're you holding up?
CELIA: I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm sick of waiting and waiting. I keep my hope quiet, but I will never let them take it from me. Change is coming. Change is coming.
MATT: Aye, it is, he says, not believing a word.
BRENNAN: Give me an insight check, Nia.
CELIA: Okay. My pal believes me, right? That's, okay, wisdom. You said check or save?
BRENNAN: Insight.
CELIA: Oh, insight. Dee dee dee dee dee! Oh, not bad. A 16.
BRENNAN: 16. What does Nia see, as she says that change will come, on Garen's face?
MATT: He sighs in the way that a parent does to a child that speaks in falsehoods and fables, not to knock it out of your hand, but certainly hope has faded from his eyes long ago.
CELIA: Nia sees that, receives that, and in her ever- naive defiance, decides not to address it. She feels, in her youth, that she could somehow know better than this person who has been here long before her.
BRENNAN: We move from there to a different part. As you guys head to the Mop, the infirmary, the horrifically named infirmary, because that's mostly what you do is just mop people up.
CELIA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: We head over to the Slop, an enormous, boiling-hot kitchen, huge crucibles filled with a stinking stew that has been cooking probably for the better part of 40 years now, the crust along the rim carcinogenically crusted to the cast iron.
LIAM: Oh, but put it in a bread bowl, though? (laughter)
BRENNAN: Walk up, I'll get the number three with-- There are a small crew of prisoners manning the kitchens here, literally crosswalks, catwalks, going up to these 30-foot tall crucibles full of whatever this stench is. The meat in there, absolutely questionable. The smell, the smoke, cinders coming up out of the fires underneath. Breathing down here is hard. All of the kitchen workers, all these prisoners that are working the kitchens, have wet rags tied around their faces as much for the smoke and embers as it is for the stink of the food itself. I would love, Jasmine, for you to describe your character for us and what she's doing in this moment.
JASMINE: All right, so, Fiedra is a small halfling woman with red hair in two pigtails. She looks kind of scrawny, wiry. Not a particularly muscular, strong person, but you get the sense that she's been around. You know, tough looking. She's got a tattoo of a cockroach on her shoulder, and at the moment, though she's trying to hide it, she looks like she is not sleeping well at all recently, and so she's at work scraping down the crust with a long, long spatula. Not even a food spatula. It's probably for paint or something, trying to chip down away at the sides of this disgusting soup pot.
BRENNAN: You're chipping away. You have a little rope to actually get down under the lip of the cauldron itself as you're going. Across from you with a long scraping thing that's like a polearm is, with a similar roach tattoo on the inside of a massive bicep, is Otto, an enormous, bearded goliath who looks down, and you can see him scraping against something, and he gets a huge chunk of the crusted, burnt stuff that flops off, and it hits the deck underneath you on this little scaffold platform that you're standing on. This crucible is empty, which is why you're able to clean it. As it lands, the crust comes off, and there's just straight-up the bones of a hand.
JASMINE: Oh.
BRENNAN: He looks and goes, "Well, that's a hand."
JASMINE: Yeah, no, I was wondering where that went. Well, I mean, I don't know, just throw it back in. Bones are-- That's more flavor, right?
BRENNAN: "Well, I think this probably just tastes like ash now."
JASMINE: It all tastes like ash! Fuck, just throw it in.
BRENNAN: "All right. Should I tell anyone about this?"
JASMINE: No! Why would you tell? Otto, it's fine.
BRENNAN: "All right."
JASMINE: You don't have to tell anyone about anything here.
BRENNAN: He tosses it. From way down beneath you, you see that there is another person that has a little roach tattoo on the outside of his arm. Taveen, who you see is a fire genasi, eyes are just bright cinders. Some fire genasi have a glow in the back of their throat. He doesn't. His teeth are actually burning coals, which looks very-- It's very bright whenever he opens his lips.
MATT: Hot.
ALEXANDER: That's really cool.
BRENNAN: You see that he looks out and calls out from down there. You can see he's wading through coals, sweeping them out as he's standing in them. He looks up and says, "Hey, what's going on up there? Did you guys find something?"
JASMINE: Just another hand.
BRENNAN: "Goddamn it!"
JASMINE: Yeah. (laughter) You know.
BRENNAN: "All right. Do we have to tell anybody?"
JASMINE: Different day, same slop. Who are we going to tell? Who's going to care about a hand?
BRENNAN: "Well, whoever's hand it is."
JASMINE: Yeah. Well, I think they've noticed already that it's missing, so I don't see how we're going to help with that.
BRENNAN: See Otto crosses his arms and says, "I obviously would care more about losing a hand than eating one. But if I lost it and ate mine without knowing, I would be mad."
CELIA: Mm. Mm.
ALEXANDER and MATT: (laugh)
JASMINE: Hmm. That's fair. That's very wise, Otto. I appreciate that.
BRENNAN: "Thank you for calling me wise." You see that as you go along, the last member of your group, way off in the actual food preparation section. You see, wearing an absolutely filthy blood-soaked apron that has almost an industrial paper cutter that is cutting through huge chunks of sick beasts of burden. There's various horses and some oxen. He's (heavy slicing) is Kephekedriel, who you see he's got the roach on the back of his neck, and you see that he's whistling a beautiful elven song. He's a gaunt elven man. You see, he turns around and whispers over to you and says, "You guys need a hand over there?"
JASMINE: (sighs)
CELIA: Stupid.
JASMINE: Thank you, Keph. I think--
CELIA: Stupid.
JASMINE: I think we're good.
BRENNAN: "Oh."
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: "All right."
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: "Well, give yourself a hand for doing such a good job."
CELIA: (snorts)
JASMINE: We will. Thank you, Keph.
BRENNAN: "All right."
JASMINE: I turn back to Otto and I'm like: What the fuck? What the fuck is up with that guy? What is his deal? What is his whole fucking deal?
BRENNAN: "I'm loyal to every member of our gang, but I do think that we should be very observant about who we allow in the gang."
JASMINE: Yeah. (laughter)
JASMINE: No. (laughter)
JASMINE: You're right. All right. Hey, boys! Team meeting!
BRENNAN: You see that Taveen comes up from down in the coal area. You see that Keph comes over and you see that he's got a horse leg that he's dragging behind him.
JASMINE: Mm-hmm. All right. So has anyone heard from Crokas?
BRENNAN: Otto shakes his head no. Tavin says, "All I saw was someone pushed him in the yard. He turned around, knocked him out, and that was enough. They dragged him off. That's all I saw."
JASMINE: He's still alive, we know, or we think, last time we saw him?
BRENNAN: You see that Kephekedriel says, "How would we know? He might be wandering in the walls right now." You see that Otto looks and says, "No public execution. I don't think, because he got nabbed doing something violent, I think if he was going to be punished, they'd do it in public."
JASMINE: Okay. Well, keep an eye out, all of you.
BRENNAN: "Mm-hmm."
JASMINE: Ears and eyes open.
BRENNAN: You hear a noise of footsteps approaching on the catwalk and look and see a guard that you have some familiarity with approaching you. The person that now approaches is Acherus Blix. This is an armored bugbear with a polearm that is approaching you right now. This is one that you know may serve a different god than the Strife Emperor.
JASMINE: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: He walks up.
JASMINE: Mm-hmm. Acherus! How's my favorite guard doing?
BRENNAN: "Hello."
JASMINE: Better than a lot can say in this place. So, you know.
BRENNAN: "I'm doing all right."
JASMINE: What they got you doing today? Got scrubbing the latrines? You're hanging down in the Slop with us? What's the--
BRENNAN: "Hey, hey, hey!" "Come on. Don't mock me here in the middle-- I'm a guard, you're a prisoner."
JASMINE: Hey, listen, it's no mockery. It's all respect.
BRENNAN: "Yeah, I'm doing latrines. Listen--"
JASMINE: Okay. Well, someone's got to do it.
BRENNAN: "Should be a prisoner. Feels, I don't know, stupid, cruel to make a guard do latrines. Listen. Your boy ain't coming back."
JASMINE: What do you know about him?
BRENNAN: "Crokas is gone."
JASMINE: What do you mean gone?
BRENNAN: "Well, he's already at the Hall of Parting, ain't he? They're sending out. We've been loaded up over at the Gauntlet for better part of a month now, haven't we? They're going to send out a carriage full of tieflings to Lord of the Hells tonight. And then tomorrow morning, they got a bunch of dragonborn that they're going to send off to the Scaled Tyrant. Caravan's ready to go."
JASMINE: For what?
BRENNAN: You see that Otto looks and says, "Was it because he attacked another prisoner?" You see Acherus, he goes, "No, it ain't because he attacked another prisoner. It's just Scaled Tyrant wants more dragonborn. She needs more soldiers on the front line."
JASMINE: That's-- Okay. Well, that's my soldier. He already has a job.
BRENNAN: "You're a prisoner!"
JASMINE: Yes, I am a prisoner with a bodyguard, who I am very interested in getting back. (huffs) Okay, let me think. You know what? Come have a drink with me.
JASMINE: Is there anything remotely drinkable in this kitchen that's--
BRENNAN: There's a bucket of blood under the chop shelf.
CELIA: (wheezes)
JASMINE: I pour two glasses of a bucket of blood and I hand one to Acherus.
BRENNAN: You see Acherus looks and says, "Where'd you get glasses from? You ain't supposed to have glasses in here! This is like a flute."
JASMINE: The Slop has its secrets.
BRENNAN: He looks and says, "I got to--" Give me an insight check.
CELIA: (laughs)
LIAM: Is blood the whey protein of the Umbra Era?
BRENNAN: (laughs)
JASMINE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
CELIA: Oh my god! Little shaker.
JASMINE: Insight?
BRENNAN: Yes. I'll roll a deception from him.
JASMINE: 13.
BRENNAN: He only gets a seven.
JASMINE: 13.
BRENNAN: 13. You see him get a look like, as you pull these glasses out and you have staffed the kitchens of Rybad-Kol with your former imprisoned gang members here, and you see him getting a look where he's like, he has to rat on you. You having glasses is like you have shit you should not have your hands on. It's gotten way out of line.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: So you see him being like, "I got to--"
JASMINE: Acherus, come on. Relax! Have a drink with me. You know?
BRENNAN: Give me intimidation or persuasion. You can do persuasion first and move to intimidation later.
JASMINE: Ooh! I ll do it-- Yeah. (laughter)
MATT: I think it's normally--
CELIA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: --the order of operations you get.
JASMINE: I'll do a persuasion. 21.
BRENNAN: 21 persuasion?
JASMINE: Yes.
BRENNAN: So what do you say to him as you can see him really think about ratting you out, about reporting you?
JASMINE: I say: Listen, Acherus. Listen, you and I, we know each other. We know a lot about each other, I think? You have a lot of information about me, I have a lot of information about you. So why can't two old friends just have a nice little drink and chat for a little bit? Before, you know, things get crazy. As they can do.
BRENNAN: You see, as you say that, he goes, "All right, yeah. We know a lot about each other, it's true."
JASMINE: Mm. We do.
BRENNAN: "It's all right. Yeah, I'll take a seat." You see that Kephekedriel leans against him and says, "I could be your chair." (laughter)
BRENNAN: And-- (laughs)
CELIA: Man, weird vibes! (laughter)
BRENNAN: You see that Otto just pulls out, turns an empty bucket upside down, pulls one out for you. You see Taveen pours you both an actual glass of blood.
JASMINE: Mm.
BRENNAN: You see that Acherus says, "Thanks." He's huge and sitting with his knees together, shoulders hunched up with this little thing of blood.
JASMINE: Mm.
BRENNAN: (slurps)
CELIA: Uh-uh!
JASMINE: So tell me more about this dragonborn scenario. I mean, do you know what time this caravan's supposed to leave?
BRENNAN: (sighs) "I just made my report to--" You see here, he touches a place on his armor under which you know is a secret symbol, something branded into his flesh that is a sign of the Lord of the Hells, that is his secret benefactor. He goes, "Just made my report. Group of tieflings are going out to the Lord of the Hells who's, I think, making a push somewhere far off near Ghor Dranas. Strife Emperor's been given to march north and the rest of Gwessar, but they need more troops, Scaled Tyrant and Lord of the Hells. There's visiting nobility here, so they need to move quick, but--"
JASMINE: Visiting nobility?
BRENNAN: "Yes, the Lord and Lady Callister are both here."
JASMINE: They're here already? They're going to be arriving soon or--
BRENNAN: "They have just arrived."
JASMINE: They've just arrived.
BRENNAN: "I believe that they are meeting with some of the other lords tonight." You see he says, "As well, the dragonborn have been collected in a caravan. They'll be shipped out on the morning. There's mostly ones like Crokas, but there's a few that are being sent to be devoured by the Scaled Tyrant as well. Your friend, the nurse over at the Mop."
JASMINE: Nia, yes.
BRENNAN: "Her dragonborn is going to be one of those latter group, devoured."
JASMINE: Okay.
BRENNAN: You see--
JASMINE: But Crokas isn't? He's not going to be devoured?
BRENNAN: "Well, he'll be sent to the front lines to die for his goddess."
JASMINE: Okay. All right.
BRENNAN: "I mean, there's nothing you can do. They aren't going to take any of you."
JASMINE: (scoffs) Yeah. No, we've been told that before, but--
BRENNAN: "I've got to report you."
JASMINE: -- I'm sure there's something.
BRENNAN: "I've got to." (laughter) You see he goes, "Look, the only way they'd pull someone off there is if they were sick and going to make everyone else sick in the caravan because they need those bodies on the front line."
JASMINE: Mm.
BRENNAN: "But other than that, you know, the caravan's being watched night and day. So I don't know what else you could do."
JASMINE: All right. Good to know. Any plans to feed these prisoners before they hit the road or--
BRENNAN: "Doubtful. They've already been shackled up. But if you manage to get them out or if they attack somebody or tried to kill one of the guards, they might put them in an oubliette, but the oubliettes would be the last-- The problem is this, anyone that you, if you managed to convince the guards that one of them was sick or anything else like that, they'd put them in the Wandering Walls and leave them there."
JASMINE: Mm. Okay.
BRENNAN: "Up to you." You hear a distant iron door creak open. Acherus looks and says, "I shouldn't be here. I've got to go." He gets up and walks away, and you see a absolutely stunning black, shining gown, a woman with deathly gray, light gray, almost corpse-like skin walks in, smiles. All of her teeth are that sharp, translucent fish-like teeth. And there's probably several hundred of them.
ALEXANDER: You're selling me.
BRENNAN: What's that?
ALEXANDER: You're selling me.
BRENNAN: I'm selling you? "You're selling me!" (laughter)
LIAM: Go on!
BRENNAN: Go on!
JASMINE: Hear me out. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You see that she walks in and says, (eerie whispering) "Are you the mistress of the kitchens?"
JASMINE: I am! Lady Cyrulia, I presume?
BRENNAN: "Why, yes!"
JASMINE: Oh, well, welcome to the Slop, the finest cuisine in all of Rybad-Kol. I say, as the hand bones slowly start floating to the top of the pot, and I like--
BRENNAN: You see Taveen, who's partially immune to fire damage, looks at it and goes, "Oh!"
JASMINE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
BRENNAN: And smacks it down under the broth. He goes, (slurps) "It's good soup!" You see that Cyrulia looks at you and just says--
JASMINE: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: "I understand that you are preparing some lovely meals for those imprisoned here at Rybad-Kol. However, we have guests from farther afield. We require sustenance of a more refined nature. You do have some food that is not sickening to the palate, don't you?"
JASMINE: I'm so sure I could find some.
BRENNAN: "Very well."
JASMINE: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: "Please see that a table is set in the high tower of the Steel Keep."
JASMINE: Okay.
BRENNAN: "There will be eight dining tonight."
JASMINE: Yes. Of course. Any dietary restrictions or allergies I should know about?
CELIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: You see that she takes a clawed hand and puts it on the soft flesh under your chin and says, "I'll eat just about anything." And turns to walk away.
JASMINE: Okay.
CELIA: Still hot.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Still hot. Alex is like, "You're trying to make me feel like this place is gross, and I think it's awesome and hot. I'm so sorry to say." (wheezes)
ALEXANDER: Just saying.
MATT and CELIA: (laugh)
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: Oof! All right.
BRENNAN: Getting the information you have about what's happened to Crokas, what do you do next? I mean, you have other tasks here in the kitchen, but based on what Acherus said, Crokas is a goner tomorrow morning if there's not some way to get him out.
JASMINE: Yeah. All right. Hey, boys! Come back here! Has Cyrulia left?
BRENNAN: Yes, Cyrulia's left, as has Acherus.
JASMINE: All right, okay. All right. Boys, circle up. So (sighs) seems like Crokas is in this caravan, going to get shipped out tomorrow. Now there's a chance we can get them to, I don't know, stop at all if we can convince these guards that maybe one of them is sick, you know? Maybe it could be Crokas. Maybe we choose some other fuck, you know, make up some story about how he had a plague and it's going to spread to the others real soon, and if they're going to, you know--
BRENNAN: You see Otto goes, "Well, Crokas does have that thing with his breath weapon, right?"
JASMINE: He does.
BRENNAN: "Maybe that's enough?"
JASMINE: We could. We could do that. It's just that, as long as everything-- (sighs) everything keeps going the way that it does, we need to really act fast or else Crokas might end up on the front lines of some fucking war that he doesn't even know anything about. So if it's between that, maybe getting thrown in the oubliette, I think we're going to have to try, honestly.
BRENNAN: You see that Taveen furrows his brow and says, "All right, but look, you're a fast talker, boss. No one's going to believe you if you walk up and say, 'Hey, I got a feeling like my boy, that I haven't seen in two days, is sick.'"
JASMINE: True. Well, what about Nia? You know, the girl in the Mop?
BRENNAN: You see Otto nods--
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: -- and says, "Yeah."
JASMINE: I mean, people listen to her. She knows what she's talking about, or at least sounds like she knows what she's talking about most of the time.
BRENNAN: You see Kephekedriel goes, "Oh! And we probably need stuff from The Mop if we're going to serve food that makes people not sick."
JASMINE: That's also a very good point! Yeah! We got some time before we got to start. Well, here. Let's take this. Keph, what kind of meat is that? What kind of meat is that?
BRENNAN: You see, he holds up his horse leg and says, "This is my new walking stick."
ALEXANDER: (laughs)
JASMINE: Okay, do you just have the one or are there three other horse legs somewhere?
BRENNAN: "I don't know, you'd have to ask the horse."
JASMINE: Okay, can you put some kind of meat on the fire to roast? Just let it roast for a bit and meanwhile, while that's happening, let's go take a visit to the Mop.
BRENNAN: "Yeah, boss, that sounds--"
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: "Great, I'll get to roasting."
JASMINE: All right.
BRENNAN: And you see he--
BRENNAN and ALEXANDER: (laugh)
BRENNAN: -- walks off. You see Otto and Taveen both have a moment of looking at him and Taveen looks over at you and says, "Once you get the tattoo, you're in the gang forever, right?" (laughter)
JASMINE: Yeah. That's how gangs and tattoos work.
BRENNAN: "Got it, got it."
JASMINE: Unfortunately.
BRENNAN: "Well, that's good." You see Otto looks and says, "Boss, do you need company heading up there or are you good going on your own?"
JASMINE: I'll talk to Nia myself. That's fine.
BRENNAN: "All right, there's plenty to do to get dinner ready."
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: "We'll keep working on this pot. Oh, Taveen, looks like the coals are going out. You see he goes, "Fuck!" (flames surge) Hair flames up and then heads back down. You head out to go to the infirmary. We move to a massive, almost cathedral-esque hall of spiring black stone. This gothic building-- Cracked earth and gravel populates the interior spaces. Enormous iron carriages pulled by behemoths with these oxen the size of elephants with curling horns that come around them. (steam blasting) Steam blasting from their nostrils. We see that these are trained livestock of fire giants to-- (stepping sound) Step over the assembled groups here, muttering and laughing to each other. Inside one of them, you see that there is a dwarven lieutenant of the Strife Emperor. He's got a shaved head, this enormous beard that has a bunch of iron rings in it that end in the shape of closed fist gauntlets. Walks along, he's got a row of tattoos in prayer to the Strife Emperor, a true zealot as he walks through this place. This is Captain Rustgut. He moves through this place. "Look alive, my scaly friends, look alive! Say goodbye to Rybad-Kol." The walls of the carriages have loops of iron affixed to them through which chains run, chaining people on benches on either side of the carriage. I would like the two dragonborn at the very end of the carriage facing across from each other to describe themselves. Liam, we'll start with you.
LIAM: All right. Erro is an aged dragonborn, in tattered, filthy traveling clothes, a shredded cloak. All of the clothes, it looks like it has been worn to the hilt. His scales are-- You almost wouldn't know that he's scaled in gold because all of his skin and flesh is coated with months worth of dust from the road and the wastes. His eyes, the reptilian flesh that is finer and smaller around the eyes is sunken and sallow and dark. There is a significant, long aged scar, a cut where the scale has been opened on his neck and throat. He has got a far off look. He is really looking, not that he hasn't acknowledged others in here, especially the hulk sitting across from him. But this is a situation that he has successfully avoided for all the many decades of his life. He is spending a lot of time focusing on just slow breath. In and out. Meditative, almost.
ALEXANDER: Sitting across is Crokas. Crokas is about 6'6", 300 pounds of just muscle and very rough and jagged scales covered in many scars, fresh and old. A much younger dragonborn, just at adulthood. White scales that has a sort of spidering vitiligo of dark scales that come up from under his threadbare clothing. Hunched over in this-- In his restraints and you notice that there's a few more than anybody else has been given as he's quite capable of tearing out of basic restraints. He's sitting there staring forward with a look where he's not registering what's around him and his eyes are fully dilated in this panicked stasis, not knowing what to do, not knowing anybody around him. A lost, giant child.
BRENNAN: Captain Rustgut moves through the center. He's got this enormous, corroded, metal-headed mallet that he's dragging along the floor behind him. Just gleeful at the smell of panic in here. This place has been packed full of dragonborn. So it smells like-- There's a smell of fear and the dirt and blood of injury and wounded prisoner's clothing. But there's also this crackle of elemental fire and lightning and everything smells almost like that thing of ozone before rain in here. He walks through and goes, "You are being sent on the morrow to serve at the pleasure of the Scaled Tyrant, sister of our very own Strife Emperor, who will crush this world under his gauntlet! His victory is soon at hand and his faithful servants will stand by his side and place their boots upon the heads of those that were foolish enough to doubt him and his strength. You, however, are being sent to fight on the front lines. Ain't you, cheeky?" You see that he grabs the snout of-- To your immediate right there is a green dragonborn who's sort of brawny. He's got a very long-- His neck is much longer and more draconic so he doesn't have his head sitting right on his shoulders. He's got a little bit of a longer neck, has that green dragonborn profile. You see that he grabs his chin and he whips this long reptilian neck away and he turns around to your immediate left, sitting on the other side, you see that there is this very tall, he's not making himself small at all, is a bronze dragonborn who looks around, his eyes wide and panicked as well and you see that Rustgut says, "Except for our lovely metallic friends here, I hear that you will serve as something of an hor d'oeuvre to the majesty and might of the Scaled Tyrant. I bet she gets hungry with five heads, don't she? (laughs)" You see that the bronze dragonborn says, "Listen, listen to me. There's been a mistake, I am Marlath, I am a loyal servant of the Scaled Tyrant. I came here as an envoy! I am a worshiper of hers." You see that Rustgut says, "What she does with you is your business, but I think you're headed for the stomach as well, my friend." You see, he goes, "Wait, I gave information about other dragonborn like me!" As Rustgut turns and begins to walk back up the chamber. As he walks away, you see that this bronze dragonborn, Marlath, turns and says, "This is outrageous. This is absolutely outrageous."
LIAM: Without looking, I put a hand on his forearm and pull him down into the seat next to me. While I'm talking to him, I have clocked the giant across from me, so I'm saying this for his benefit as well. Conserve your energy. We are all certainly to die. Everyone. We may have one chance. Breathe. Wait. Don't stand out.
BRENNAN: "(panicked breathing)" Give me persuasion.
LIAM: Straight roll for me. 17.
BRENNAN: 17. You see, he looks and goes "Well-- (hyperventilating) It's outrageous. It's absolutely--" You see he looks for someone to meet his gaze in the carriage to join him in his-- You realize that he's reported other metallic dragonborn to this-- He is a faithful to the Scaled Tyrant and is now about to be shipped off.
LIAM: I turn and stare in the eye. Of course it is. As it has been for decades. More. If the nail sticks up, it will be hammered down. Sit.
BRENNAN: He sits and lowers his head. You see across from you, Crokas, the green dragonborn to his right, to his right there is a small family. You see wearing a peasant's gown with a shawl over her shoulders is a blue dragonborn woman who is chained up with two small dragonborn hatchlings that are blue dragonborn, her two children. You see that they both look up and you see that they are whispering something to her. Her young daughter is looking up, wide-eyed and expectantly. The boy is completely vacant and crying to himself in this moment, as the mom brings them both close to her. She rattles her chains, bringing them in. She goes, "Now, everything's going to be all right. You understand? We're going to all be together no matter what happens, okay? We're all going to be here together, okay? And just be as quiet as you can. Did you hear what the man in the corner said? "It's exactly right. We're just going to be quiet. And we're going to breathe, okay?" And you see that this blue dragonborn woman looks up with tears in her eyes and nods and smiles at you.
ALEXANDER: Crokas is sitting there, clocking the woman and the children and you can see he has a leather wrap binding the front of his snout shut. But he opens the side of his mouth and goes: What did he mean about giving up other dragonborn? I don't understand.
LIAM: We're all going to die here. You on a battlefield.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
LIAM: Me for faith.
ALEXANDER: Bad. Not good.
BRENNAN: You see, as you reference Marlath, the bronze dragonborn, he goes, "I was promised great treasure. It is the right of our people. I was promised great treasure to do as I did. It was an act of faith and I was--" The green dragonborn across from him looks up and says, "Would you stop your chattering? No one wants to hear it. Do like your friend said. Keep it shut." The green dragonborn looks over at you and goes, "You all right, mate?"
LIAM: I'm all right.
BRENNAN: He looks over at the two little dragonborn kids next to him and you see, he goes, "You know, I've been in scarier situations than this." And he turns to you and winks.
ALEXANDER: You have?
BRENNAN: "Oh, sure. One time I got caught stealing and they put me in Rybad-Kol. That was pretty bad."
ALEXANDER: That's here.
BRENNAN: "Yeah, that's right, mate. That's here."
LIAM: They've made one mistake. Put the lot of us together. If the opportunity arise, make it count.
BRENNAN: "You got it, mate." You see he leans up and does this stretch where he puts his long neck and puts it up against the flat of the carriage behind him so that his snout is pointing straight up. (exhales) And you see Marlath go to a glassy-eyed place of-- "Great wealth. I was promised great wealth." We move from this place to the Mop. Nia, would you kindly describe the state of your infirmary as you arrive there with Garen?
CELIA: Bad. (laughter)
CELIA: It's not great in there. It's bad here. It's dirty, there is dried blood all over the floors. There are bodies everywhere, some sitting, some lying down. Nia is incredibly overwhelmed but you can't tell. She's running around keeping tabs on people, making sure that bones are setting and that folks are getting extra water as they've been passed out on the floor and trying to return people back to work as quickly as possible because if they don't come back, it's on her. The infirmary is gross. There are bones. It's a cacophony of sound and smell and-- She tries to block all of that out as she is currently setting someone's arm right back into its shoulder. Hopefully, to return back to work.
BRENNAN: You enter with Garen. And see that these are, thankfully, there's no broken bones here, but there are some bad, there's some bad internal bleeding, but there's also a couple lacerations, places where the edge of a boot actually tore skin. Give me a medicine check if you'd be so kind.
CELIA: I will, Brennan. Who wants to play today?
MATT: How about that one?
CELIA: This one wants to play today. 18.
BRENNAN: 18!
CELIA: Mm-hmm. Matt, if you would like to take a short rest and roll your one hit die with an 18 medicine, you can roll that with advantage.
MATT: Thank you kindly.
CELIA: Of course. Trying to wrap his stomach where he's been kicked. Try and keep that together.
MATT: I'll take an eight.
BRENNAN: You get eight hit points back. Does that bring you back up to full?
MATT: Almost.
BRENNAN: Almost.
MATT: (chuckles) I took a beating earlier. (laughs)
CELIA: Nia, she silently is wrapping him, wrapping him, wrapping him, and she glances at his arm and the iron that's around it, and she feels as though she wants to say something along the lines of like-- Actually, she doesn't even know. She looks at it and sees the shoddy work and looks to Garen and asks: Why didn't they bring you to me?
MATT: I think it was more, some displays of punishment are for the populace, some are for a more private audience.
BRENNAN: Nia, you look here and see the injuries before you hear moans from elsewhere in the infirmary, and a horrifying sight greets you as a shadow fills the doorway of the Mop. Entering is one known to you as Barbithrix.
CELIA: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: He may have once been human, but a gaunt, a mixture of shaped bone and leather, black robes. There are skeletal claws assembled, with the claws pointing upwards in a collar. His skull has been stretched magically. He's some kind of warlock or other being that calls upon powers associated with the Strife Emperor and has grown himself a set of arms. So he's a four-armed individual. Two hanging from the shoulders and another two that sprout off his back in these long claws that lack the fine manipulation of his normal hands, but are very useful for hurting and destroying people. Barbithrix enters this space, speaking to you and goes, "Rei'nia, greetings. We have come to review the infirmary. It's my understanding that you have several infirm here past what seems like the natural point of recovery."
CELIA: She nods and immediately goes to try and talk her way out of it. I'm the only person in here. There are so many bodies. I mean, your work specifically has kept me very, very busy.
BRENNAN: "Hmm. As well it should. Tell me, this one," and points to Garen. "He is--"
CELIA: Well. He's well.
BRENNAN: He says, "He is bandaged, though, yes."
CELIA: Yes.
BRENNAN: "The injuries will recover."
CELIA: They always do.
BRENNAN: You see that he looks and says, "Rufus, a calculation." A small gnomish servant bows. So he's got a little black goatee, long black ponytail that stretches in silver rings behind him, black robes, carries a small ledger. He says, "(chuckles) Oh. Yes, I'm familiar with this prisoner, my lord. This is Garen. He's been with us, hmm, since before I was here, quite some time. He is of advanced age and his left arm incapacitated, but his skill in the quarry is greater than that of even some more able-bodied prisoners. However, if he were to be sick for more than five and one half days, the cost of maintaining him would outweigh keeping him alive." You see that Barbithrix says, "Very well. This one is not worth more than five and a half days of medicine. He'll be working before then."
CELIA: Well, before then, we have five days. We'll be sure to get it done before then.
BRENNAN: You see that Rufus begins to go through Barbithrix, asking questions and pointing to them, and saying, "This one was given three days to recover. It is the end of the third day."
CELIA: Is it? I believe we have s-s-some time, t-t-the day is not done.
BRENNAN: Give me a deception or persuasion check.
CELIA: Okay (vocalizing). Deception or persuasion. Okay. (tongue clicking) You said deception or persuasion. I'll do persuasion, making it a 15.
BRENNAN: 15.
CELIA: Yeah. The day is not done.
BRENNAN: "Rufus. Make a note at nightfall to return here. If this one is still in bed, kill them." You see that the prisoner who is completely horizontal looks up and goes "(panting)."
CELIA: It's going to be fine, it's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. I try and find a place where pressure won't make the injuries worse, and rest a hand there to quiet what I know is reasonable panic.
BRENNAN: Incredible. Barbithrix turns to you and says, "I do hope your advocacy on behalf of those prisoners under your care is rooted in a deep sense of preserving their utility to the Strife Emperor."
CELIA: Of course. What else is there to do here? Hope? (laughs) No. I know my job. I do it well. Thank you for visiting.
BRENNAN: "Soldiers will return at nightfall." Barbithrix begins to leave this place with Rufus. Does so. In the moment of them turning and leaving, stepping into the doorway is Fiedra, who arrives here in the infirmary.
CELIA: Got sick of the Slop?
JASMINE: Oh, you know, just the smell of blood. I guess it's not that much different in here.
CELIA: No.
JASMINE: It's just buckets of blood and rags as far as the eye can see.
CELIA: You actually have a little--
JASMINE: Yeah?
CELIA: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: Uh-uh. Hmm, it's better than yesterday's blood.
CELIA: (chuckles)
JASMINE: Uh, listen, do you have somewhere we can talk in private, maybe?
CELIA: Uh. Sure. Nia looks to Garen. Makes sure that-- C-c-can I step away for a minute?
MATT: I'm fine.
CELIA: Actually, can he come?
JASMINE: Hmm.
CELIA: He's fine. (chuckles)
JASMINE: Uh, you get your rest, old timer, I think. This may be something I--
MATT: Oh yeah, yeah.
JASMINE: Just going to talk alone with Nia.
JASMINE: I'll just--
BRENNAN: As you two go to talk, I'd like the two of you to give me perception checks. Garen, to left your own devices, I'd like you to make a perception check with advantage, if you'd be so kind.
JASMINE: Oh no.
CELIA: Oh yay. (chuckles) Perception, you say?
BRENNAN: Perception. Yeah.
ALEXANDER: To shreds, you say.
CELIA: (tongue clicking) What if my passive perception is better than what I got? (laughter)
CELIA: Perception. That's a 14.
BRENNAN: 14.
MATT: 19.
BRENNAN: 19.
JASMINE: Eight.
BRENNAN: Eight. Okay.
CELIA: Mm.
BRENNAN: 14 and eight. You two are busy talking to each other. As you guys head off, Garen.
CELIA: Garen. Sorry, I keep saying Darren. Garen.
BRENNAN: Garen, you look in a corner and you see that there is, there's a mouse in the corner. (squeaking) There's rats in some part of the prison, but this is a ash-choked wasteland with red sky. It's bad out here. I think that at 19 perception, you don't remember the last time you saw a mouse.
MATT: (groans) Garen sits up from the space and very slowly and methodically begin to approach towards that corner with his hand out like--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. You can give me animal handling.
CELIA: Does Nia see Garen get up?
BRENNAN: Yeah, I think so.
CELIA: Okay.
MATT: That'd be an 11.
BRENNAN: An 11. You go up. You hold your hand out to the mouse. On 11, it doesn't approach your hand, but it doesn't run away either. You see it sits there in the corner. (squeaking)
MATT: What are you doing here, little one? There's no place for you.
BRENNAN: (squeaking) You see it swivels its ears and looks up. Following its gaze for a moment, you see three little shapes rush across one of the rafters into a little hole in the wall. You see the mouse looks up at that hole in the wall. (squeaking)
MATT: Hey, um. How far away is that hole in the wall about?
BRENNAN: It's probably about five or six feet up on the wall.
MATT: Ah (chuckles), taller than me.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
MATT: Yeah. Does it look like it's trying to get up there?
BRENNAN: It looks like it sees its brethren rush down that space. And, yeah, it looks like it wants to get up there.
MATT: Ah. Is there any sort of a scrap piece of ply board or--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MATT: Mm-hmm. Don't want to get too close to spook it, but just enough to kind of--
BRENNAN: There's some crutches here, so you can grab a crutch.
MATT: I grab a crutch, and hold it down.
BRENNAN: As you grab the crutch, it runs down the crutch for a second. It (sniffs) smells your hand for a moment and you see it looks up into your eyes. It's wide. You know, mice always look scared. It's the default expression of a mouse. You see it (squeaking). And it, for a moment, leans against your hand like it's going to go to sleep, and then raises back up, moves up the hole, (whooshes) and vanishes from sight. As it does, you hear a lot of chittering in that hole. (squeaking) Looking up there, past that, give me one more perception check. We'll call this a DC 15.
MATT: That is going to be a 15, exactly.
CELIA: Mm.
BRENNAN: Wow. You have no idea how this hole got there. Sort of little, you know, there's parts of Rybad-Kol are older, but you're looking at the stone, something has disrupted that stone a little bit. You look up, there's something like a hair. There's something thin, wispy little thing up there. As you look up, it's low enough that you could reach up and grab it if you wanted to. The height, it's the height of your--
MATT: Um. I've been here long enough to know better than to make any strange movements under watch, glancing around the chamber. Is there anybody of any sort of station watching?
BRENNAN: No one watching, just the infirm.
MATT: Carefully and defensively reach up towards it.
BRENNAN: Pale as a ghost, soft as a whisper. You pull something that you recognize. A nuisance to stonemasons everywhere and something that you have not felt or seen maybe in more than a century. You pull a little root out of the stone.
MATT: (snickers) (exclaims) (chuckles)
BRENNAN: As you mutter and laugh to yourself, looking at this small, unhealthy, ghostly little root. Something like a tiny little house plant, a fern, a blade of grass might have. You move to the corner of the infirmary where Nia and Fiedra are speaking. Fiedra, you have privacy and silence.
JASMINE: All right.
BRENNAN: With your friend here.
JASMINE: All right. So listen, you got a dragonborn in your party, right?
CELIA: Erro.
JASMINE: Erro. Yeah.
CELIA: W-w-what?
JASMINE: (sighs) They're shipping out all the dragonborns tomorrow.
CELIA: Excuse me?
JASMINE: They have them all locked up in a caravan. And--
CELIA: How did you come to know this? You know everything. Never mind. Do you know where?
JASMINE: One of the guards I have it on good authority, they're shipping them all off, the color-- Oh my god. The chromatic ones are getting sent off to the Scaled Tyrant, to serve in his army. I believe the metallic dragonborns, they're just going to get eaten, straight up devoured.
CELIA: (stutters) Nia downloads this information and she thinks about Erro, and immediately decides to go to a place of, Okay, w-w-what's your plan? You and your--
JASMINE: Well.
CELIA: -- Roach friends. W-w-what are you doing? How can I help?
JASMINE: So I came to you because we need to figure out a way to get those doors of the caravan open, right? So, Crokas, my bodyguard.
CELIA: Yeah, yeah.
JASMINE: He has this little--
CELIA: Big kid.
JASMINE: My bodyguard.
CELIA: Okay.
JASMINE: So he has, listen, he's a little insecure about this, but he has a little bit of a, you know, a growth on his neck. Doesn't do any harm, no pain or anything.
CELIA: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: But if you can go down there, do some kind of, you know, last minute medical check on the prisoners. They need those bodies standing. They need them standing upright, well enough to fight.
CELIA: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: You think you can get down there, convince them that, you know, that little birthmark maybe is something contagious.
CELIA: Yes.
JASMINE: Something that needs to be, maybe all the dragonborn need to get checked for before they ship out.
CELIA: Yes, do you know-- Happy to do that for you.
JASMINE: Mm-hmm.
CELIA: Where is Erro? Is he with him?
JASMINE: Erro.
CELIA: Are they together?
JASMINE: Presumably. I think they rounded up all the dragonborn.
CELIA: Okay.
JASMINE: Together.
CELIA: Nia goes into her mind and tries to think of all of the medical terms she can come up with to try and make this make sense. She has a small collection of tinctures and ointments in her pants. They're not in the sight of any guards that could see it. She keeps them on her purse. Okay, I can do that.
JASMINE: Okay. Yeah.
CELIA: Do you know where they are?
JASMINE: Wait, I do know where, right?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
JASMINE: Yes.
BRENNAN: They're in the Halls of Parting.
JASMINE: The Halls of Parting.
CELIA: Yes. Okay.
JASMINE: Okay.
CELIA: They're there (laughs).
JASMINE: Okay.
CELIA: Now or-- Actually, she doesn't even ask. She looks to Garen.
BRENNAN: You see Garen in the midst of doing what he's doing,
CELIA: Holding a root?
BRENNAN: So you know, it's so small that it's 20 feet away. You don't even see what he's holding.
CELIA: Okay.
JASMINE: Old guy has lost it, I think.
CELIA: I'm good. He's fine. He is just fine. (laughter)
JASMINE: I mean, I trust you, you work here.
CELIA: Thank you I'm going to--
MATT: What's happening? I can't--
CELIA: Hey.
MATT: Ah.
CELIA: Hey. What, what you got there?
MATT: I just-- I--
CELIA: She looks up, tries to follow his gaze.
JASMINE: You got rats? Yeah, we got them up in the Slop, too.
MATT: (chuckles) Maybe. I-- I don't know. It's the first sign of real... life I've seen here in a long time.
CELIA: Nia, seeing how important this moment is for him, she lets him keep that, as opposed to taking it and learning to inspect it. Going to be right back.
MATT: Okay.
CELIA: Going to go get Erro.
MATT: Aye, have you got any food?
CELIA: Does Nia have food in here?
JASMINE: Do I have food?
BRENNAN: Yes, I think that you had-- There are some stores of things that are a little bit less disgusting that are in the Slop up here.
JASMINE: Okay.
CELIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: You need to get that special dinner prepared as well.
JASMINE: I do, yes. (huffs) Did you hear about this envoy situation?
CELIA: Yeah, something happening in Great Tower?
JASMINE: Yeah, there are eight of them. They're going to be dining up there, which may be a good time to go check out this caravan situation.
CELIA: Yeah. I have more soldiers coming back here at nightfall so I have to keep an eye on somebody in here, but this should be quick. Okay. You stay here. I'm going to go find our friends.
JASMINE: Okay.
MATT: You got any bread or tack, or anything simple lying around?
JASMINE: Yeah. Yes, of course.
MATT: Aye.
JASMINE: I try to find the least disgusting, least stale chunk of bread, which is still presumably rock hard, and I'm like. (thuds) Well, you know, bang it up against a table a couple times maybe and--
MATT: (bangs) Cracks it on his cap a little bit. Take some of the crumbles and sets them up right by where that hole is in the stone.
JASMINE: Oh well, if I knew you were going to give it to the rats, I would've picked--
CELIA: I'm saying.
JASMINE: Wouldn't have picked one of the nicer ones. But okay, no, that's your prerogative.
CELIA: Yeah, Nia tries to find some water for him and goes, gets some stuff, puts it in her pockets, and tries to head off to the Halls of--
BRENNAN: The Halls of Parting.
CELIA: The Halls of Parting where my friends are.
ALEXANDER: The Halls of Partying.
BRENNAN: The Halls of Partying. Few and far between are the Halls of Partying here in Rybad-Kol. (laughter)
CELIA: Little party punishment?
BRENNAN: Incredible. Fiedra, as you begin to go through the nicer provisions up here in the infirmary--
CELIA: Yeah, I trust and leave her to it.
JASMINE: Oh.
BRENNAN: Uh-huh.
JASMINE: Oh, you do? Okay.
CELIA: I mean.
JASMINE: (laughs)
CELIA: Hold on, now that you phrase it that way, I mean-- (laughter) I think Nia, I mean, she hasn't been here long enough to really, she craves friends. She's a community-based creature. She wants to trust her, so I think in the act of wanting, she just bolts. She's going to go find Erro.
BRENNAN: Cool.
CELIA: She's not concerned.
BRENNAN: You head off to the Halls of Parting as fast as you can. Awesome.
LIAM: Steal everything down there.
BRENNAN: You are looking right as Garen sprinkles some crumbs up on this hole, and as you do so, give me one more. Give me an animal handling with advantage, and give me an investigation as you look for better food.
MATT: 18.
BRENNAN: 18.
JASMINE: My investigation's just 13.
BRENNAN: 13.
JASMINE: Yeah. Yeah, you find the things you're looking for. As you do, you see that a group of-- There's a group of mice that come up to those crumbs and you see begin to take them. As they do, you see that some of them appear to have some fleas or something, some little sort of pest, and you see that it's perfectly normal for a place choked with filth and disease like Rybad-Kol is. Some little bug leaps to your forearm and almost like a fire ant or a bullet ant, there's a little venomous bite for a second. Ah! As it does, it leaps off. You look at the mice that are here and they just gleam at you. There's a weird fleck of green in their eyes, and as they do, you see that one of them appears to have a little bit of blood under its fur, under its mouth. As they chew on the crumbs and look off at you, you see a couple of fleas are departing from them, heading into the room around you. On that higher animal handling check, you see that a few people around here twitch with a sudden bit of pain because they're bitten by one of the fleas here. Give me perception with advantage.
JASMINE: I'm not here to see any of this.
BRENNAN: You're not here to see any of it.
JASMINE: Wonderful.
MATT: That's going to be 12.
BRENNAN: 12. You see that in that little space that the flea bit you on your arm, it's hard. It's because it's dim lighting in here. There's a little bit of a glow you could see, or a spot. Maybe your eyes are having spots in them, but where that bite was, there's a little bit of light, and as you look at it for a moment longer, it begins to fade away.
MATT: All right. Finally gone crazy. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Fiedra, you get the things together that you need to get and feel a sharp pain on your neck.
JASMINE: Ow, fuck. Ugh.
BRENNAN: A little dead flea in your hand.
JASMINE: Yeah. I'll just flick it off. (huffs) You guys got a lot of these down here?
BRENNAN: No.
MATT: Not at all.
JASMINE: Really? Oh. They're probably all coming up to the kitchens, then. That's where we get them all.
BRENNAN: As you guys look, you also remember hearing Acherus talk about oubliettes for a second and you know that there are places that they might send Crokas if he's sick and you're suddenly looking at a guy who-- The main thing about Garen is that he's been here the longest out of any prisoner, and you suddenly wonder if he was around when they were building the oubliettes back in the day.
JASMINE: Right, yeah. Old timer, you know anything about the the oubliettes?
MATT: Aye, what about them?
JASMINE: Well, I mean, anything you could tell me. Where are they? How big are they? Is there any way to access them?
MATT: Well, there's a number of locations across Rybad-Kol.
JASMINE: Where would they hold a sick prisoner?
MATT: A sick prisoner, a sick prisoner? Was I involved in the construction of one of these?
BRENNAN: They would probably send them to the Wandering Walls. There's segments where they would let someone sweat, and scream, and cry out for water, and if they survive, they survive, and if they don't, they don't.
MATT: I chiseled out a few of the rotting pits by the Wandering Walls. That's sort of, few old compatriots went away. That's likely where. They're not well built.
JASMINE: Mm. What do you think are, if someone got thrown down there, what do you think the odds are of them getting out? Is it possible?
MATT: Well, I mean, all stone has got its weakness and we're supposed to build things to last, should you want it to. But sometimes, you can't work your best work under strain.
JASMINE: Hm. (sighs) I know that.
BRENNAN: Fiedra, as you look at Garen in this moment, give me an insight check and I'll let Garen set the DC for this insight check.
JASMINE: Oh, not good. 13.
MATT: 13. Not hard to notice he's looking at you with a more or less insinuating that from the inside and the outside, there are ways to more or less break through.
BRENNAN: And Fiedra, the old crackpot that you've said is finally going crazy, for the mistress of the kitchens, you realize that you are looking at a living key to this prison.
JASMINE: Yeah. Listen, old timer, you think you're going to be good to go, get back on your feet soon?
MATT: Looks back over at where the hole of mice is and he's still holding that root in his finger and goes: Honestly, I feel a bit more inspired than I have in a very long time.
JASMINE: It's been a long time since I heard anyone say that, but might think I might have a job for you.
BRENNAN: As you say that, we move to follow Nia. You walk through the Halls of Parting as fire giants stare down at you, glowering, moving through the shadow. It is filled with frenzy and activity here. You see that there are huge carts going out. You see that one of the carts that is shipping out as the sun gets lower and the red smudge in the distant sky, you see that there is a carriage filled with tieflings, and you see that there is this bright green tiefling with her hand stretched out of the back bars of a carriage towards another prisoner who appears to be one of the last dragonborn moving into the other carriage, screaming out, going, "I'll find you! I promise I'll find you!" As the carriage moves out through the doorway. It is so busy in here. And all of the guards and soldiers, all of these captains of the Strife Emperor look bored and upset with the level of noise. In all of the human sorrow, their overwhelming emotion is the drudgery of having to do one's job. You see the main carriage at the front being prepared for the morning. The door is closed, but the giant padlock is not locked yet on the back, meaning that people are coming to and fro, and you see that Captain Rustgut, towards the front of that carriage.
CELIA: Mm. Do I want to be sneaky or do I want to be smart? Does Rustgut clock me? Do I see him see me?
BRENNAN: Yeah, I think you look up and see him see you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
CELIA: Okay. Captain, hold that carriage.
BRENNAN: "Hmm? (grunts)"
CELIA: Hello.
BRENNAN: "Come from the Mop, have you?"
CELIA: Yes, there has been a breach in oversight. I'm not sure how this message wasn't delivered, but there is a prisoner in there who could run a risk to those else in the carriage. I've heard that these dragonborn are headed off and I want to make sure that they are the most capable for the job that they are meant to do. There is a contamination that I want to address.
BRENNAN: Give me persuasion, actually, I'm going to need deception.
CELIA: Okay. Deception. 16.
BRENNAN: Okay!
CELIA: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
CELIA: Yeah, deception. I, in a panic that keeps up with what she's sharing, she's attempting to share that information on her move. She's not trying to stop and hold. She's trying to keep, because there's danger. Danger afoot.
BRENNAN: Yeah. You see that Rustgut looks and says, "Hang on a minute, hang on. You're going to tell me that you're going to-- What happens if they are sick?"
CELIA: They are unable to-- You have some soldiers on the front lines. Do you want those soldiers to be ailing one another so they are weak?
BRENNAN: You see that as he looks to make a little bit more of a scene here, there is another figure who looks resplendent. Gold finery. A beautiful golden-haired aasimar that of celestial lineage smiles and moves forward from this place and speaks out looking at Rustgut. This is Sata'al, who is the high priestess of the Strife Emperor. You see that she smiles and looks and says, "Now, now, captain, do not let your piety and service of the Strife Emperor blind you to his will. This prisoner has told us that the gift we now send to the Strife Emperor's sister may be rotting inside. It is some weeks of carriage journey. Servant, this disease, it is contagious, yes or no?"
CELIA: Incredibly. Nia has had her, is she allowed to move towards the thing?
BRENNAN: Yes, she is.
CELIA: She has had her hands in her pockets, and without really acknowledging Erro, she grazes the back of his neck a little bit, and she turns, trying to point out that there is something already growing on the back of somebody, and it is mirroring the black-- It's a black liquid of some substance that she's hoping to pass off as Crokas' vitiligo.
BRENNAN: Ah!
CELIA: She's hoping to have that be the thing. His black scale, she's trying to give off the illusion that his something is spreading.
BRENNAN: Yeah. On that 16, you see that Rustgut goes, "Oh no, we do got one like that, ugh." And you see that he says, "Open him up!" The gate opens. Erro and Crokas, both of you see Nia, and Erro, you see Nia for the first time in two days.
CELIA: Throw him a wink. She wouldn't dare try and let it be on her face, but she has that energy of just, trust me.
LIAM: I'm not saying anything because I don't know what's happening, so I throw that expression over these people's shoulders at you.
BRENNAN: You see that Rustgut walks down and you see he goes, "This one here? He's sick?"
CELIA: This one and this one here. I believe that everyone in this carriage may have to be held here, not leaving on the morrow. I must take precious time to inspect them all. If we have one contagious here, it could spread to everyone in here, even you, Captain, and you, Priestess.
BRENNAN: You see that they look at each other. Give me another deception.
CELIA: I love lying!
BRENNAN: DC is going to be-- 10 gets you something, 20 gets you everything.
CELIA: Well, deception is a-- You said deception?
BRENNAN: Said deception. 10 gets you something, 20 gets you everything.
CELIA: How's 18?
BRENNAN: 18's really good.
CELIA: Do you think so?
ALEXANDER: Ain't everything. (laughter)
CELIA and BRENNAN: Not everything.
LIAM: Not a scale, sounds like a binary to me.
BRENNAN: You see that the priestess says, "Understand that we must keep our promises to the Scaled Tyrant. How contagious is this disease exactly?
CELIA: Incredibly. It could disable and it spreads in a way of breath. It is not something that can be captured and concealed if you happen to breathe around this person. She is, as this is talking, she's not let go of Erro. She's trying to get that black up and up and up.
BRENNAN: Yeah. You see that as you say that it comes from his breath, you see that Rustgut says, "He's muzzled, though, isn't he? Can't breathe that much." The priestess looks.
ALEXANDER: (grunts) You just see-- He just, (huffs) pushes air out from under the bindings.
BRENNAN: On that 18, I'm going to say that you see, the priestess says, "(sighs) You, prisoner. Who has made contact with this one?"
LIAM: (coughs) (laughter)
LIAM: Not many.
BRENNAN: You see that she says, "Who was touched by this one when he was placed in here?" See Rustgut says, "He was put in first, ma'am. He's all the way in the back." You see that the green dragonborn speaks up and goes, "My lady, with your permission, he made a lunge for the kids, tried to scare them, spit all over them."
ALEXANDER: (growls)
BRENNAN: You see that the priestess goes, "(huffs) All right, these two in the back." Points to you and the bronze dragonborn, and she says, "The children, this one in between. Put them all in the oubliettes. Leave them there to either die or to recover."
CELIA: Wait. There may be a opportunity for us to ensure that this gift is not only recovered, but embellished. There is an opportunity for me to work and prove that these two can be worthy for the tasks ahead of them. Leave them to me.
BRENNAN: "My sweet daughter, you are simply too valuable to be left near a disease this contagious. And if you tell me to wait again, I'll pull your eyes out of your head. The Strife Emperor wishes for you to live in the truth of his dominion. If you ever speak to me out of turn again, I'll find out everyone you've ever cared for and hurt them 'til they're dead."
CELIA: Nia doesn't say anything.
BRENNAN: "These six can go, the rest will be monitored overnight. Thank you, Nia." She turns to leave and Rusgut looks "(chuckles)" and drags his mallet along the ground as he leaves. Unchaining you, feeding you to the soldiers outside. Yes.
LIAM: So it's we two.
BRENNAN: Yes.
LIAM: The really nervous gentleman.
BRENNAN: Yes.
LIAM: And the family of three.
BRENNAN: And the green dragonborn that's in between the family, yes.
LIAM: Okay.
BRENNAN: So yeah, actually wait, seven. So you see it says, "These seven," and begins to lead you, all of you out to an oubliette.
ALEXANDER: As Crokas stands up and the carriage slams his head in the top of (grunts) and ducks back down to get out of the--
BRENNAN: You duck your head. (grunts) Get out there. As you are led off to the oubliette, you have a moment of Nia walking side by side with the prisoners as they're being let off.
CELIA: Lean to Crokas. Fiedra's coming. Fiedra is coming.
ALEXANDER: Fiedra's coming.
CELIA: Just stay quiet. (grunts) Let this pass.
ALEXANDER: Right.
CELIA: All will be well, just stay low, stay quiet, stay together. We're figuring something out.
ALEXANDER: Oh, all right. (grunts)
CELIA: Is she within the earshot of Erro as well?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: I don't know everything about what's happening here. I'm learning bits and pieces. Just stay low. We are coming to get you.
LIAM: Are you all right?
CELIA: I'll be okay when you're okay.
BRENNAN: As you are led away to the oubliette, Nia, you return-- However, evening has set. Fiedra, knowing that Nia has gone off to hopefully save Crokas. Actually, give me a perception check, if you'd be so kind. (chuckling)
JASMINE: Oh no. Oh, that's not bad.
LIAM: Everybody's rolling so well.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
JASMINE: 18.
LIAM: I'm waiting for the pendulum swing.
BRENNAN: I know.
ALEXANDER: I haven't rolled yet.
CELIA: There's no such thing.
BRENNAN: Moving--
CELIA: There's no such thing.
BRENNAN: Moving--
CELIA: It's staying well the whole time.
JASMINE: Good luck forever.
BRENNAN: Moving through the halls, Fiedra, you are traveling with some other kitchen prison staff and pass by Crokas and this line of dragonborn that are being led off to the Wandering Walls. So you, Crokas, you have a moment of passing Fiedra in a hallway.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
JASMINE: It's going to be okay. I have a plan.
ALEXANDER: All right, fine. If you say so.
BRENNAN: As you are led off, Fiedra, you take off as well and ascend to an incredibly tall height within the Steel Keep. As you arrive there, you see this gorgeously appointed dining room and there are musicians, and finery, candlelight.
CELIA: That's fucked up. That's fucked up.
BRENNAN: You see that the obsidian walls are partially flecked with gold. There are enormous, sort of, these beautiful volcanic glass statues of servants of the Strife Emperor abounding. You look over and see Azmog smiling, his hair, coiffed. Having left his armor for an evening of dinner. Beside him is Barbithrix and Cyrulia. You see that there is a human lord and lady that have a young child here with them, who's dressed in an aristocratic finery. What is the dinner that you set before them here in the fine dining hall of Azmog, the Sundering Lord? (laughter)
JASMINE: I present to them the finest of Rybad-Kol, over cooked horse legs. A large, kind of, still in the shape of what is clearly a horse leg. I set it down in the middle of the table. Then start to cut it like a, you know, when you go to a Brazilian steakhouse I'm going around all the guests and cutting them slices of horse. I do not say anything. Is there conversation about? Is there?
BRENNAN: Yes, there is conversation. Go ahead, give me a perception check.
LIAM: How much halfling spit is in it?
JASMINE: Oh, so much. You wouldn't think you could--
ALEXANDER: Basted, in fact.
JASMINE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
BRENNAN: Love it.
JASMINE: I'm sorry, what was it, perception again?
BRENNAN: Perception, yes.
JASMINE: 12.
BRENNAN: 12. Well, so you overhear-- You don't overhear what people are saying in whispered asides to each other. You see that there is a guest at the table who is a scorpion centaur, the lower half of his body is that of a scorpion. But you see as you go up and pour, there's actually bottles of wine up here. As you pour a glass of wine, see that this scorpion centaur who bears a symbol of each Betrayer God around this massive amulet turns to look over at you. These long ears, sharp fangs, turns and says, "Thank you very much. I'll take a little more heavier pour, if you don't mind." (laughter)
JASMINE: Oh, anything for our guests. Should I fill that all the way up?
BRENNAN: (sips)
JASMINE: Is Otto or anyone or anyone helping me around--
BRENNAN: Yeah, Otto and Taveen are both up here.
JASMINE: I say: Boys, make sure that our guests' glasses stay filled all throughout the night as much as they desire.
BRENNAN: You see that the Iron Scorpion, as he is called, raises a glass in appreciation and turns back to the conversation. On that 12 perception, once dinner is served, you see that Otto and Taveen have to step out as is customary, but there's one staff member left in the room, who is you, waiting by the door. What is your bearing as you stay here in the room as a servant? Like, how are you standing? What are you doing in this space as they begin speaking?
JASMINE: I am trying to make myself as invisible as possible, basically, just standing there perfectly still, almost like-- You said, there was statues of--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
JASMINE: Well, almost as if I were one of those statues. Just waiting carefully. Not looking at anyone in particular, but keeping an eye on all the glasses and all the plates. But most of all just listening so intently to as much of the conversation as I can hear.
BRENNAN: (Mizphir) "Well, of course, well, there's nothing I've heard." (Barbithrix) "Yes, yes, I understand. Of course, now it can't be that bad certainly." (Iron Scorpion) "I'm telling you, it was seen on the battlefield. The Arch Heart was there. Strode over rows and rows of horse-mounted archers reached out and struck one of the Ruiner's eyes out from the battlefield. Blood cascaded for a dozen miles in all directions hotter than the fires of the sun. It's unlike anything I've ever seen." You see that this is a visiting dignitary speaking. This would be Mizphir, the Aching Prince. You see that--
JASMINE: The Aching Prince.
BRENNAN: You see that the-- (laughs) It's so bad.
MATT: Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
BRENNAN: It's so bad. Matt's like, "This is that shit I like." You see.
MATT: It's like a Cenobite Christmas. I love it. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Cenobite Christmas!
ALEXANDER: We have such sights to show you. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You see that the lady, Cyrulia, goes, "Well, what of any word from the Spider Queen?" You see that the Iron Scorpion says, "My lady, the Spider Queen has been banished for a century." You see she says, "That is not so. It cannot be." You see that the Iron Scorpion says, "The time for propaganda is at an end, at least here in these circles. Spider Queen is banished. The Crawling King's minions have been utterly routed. Those caverns of the Underdark, they are empty of his soldiers, and now the Ruiner has fallen as well." You see that the human lord speaks up and says, "It is ever as we anticipated. Not all of the kin of the beloved Strife Emperor have the, shall we say, organizational tenacity to overcome the Prime Deities. We know that many of them are dead." You see that one of them shakes his head and goes-- The Iron Scorpion says, "Not dead, not confirmed dead. Missing. We can presume they are dead, but we don't have-- It is not a certainty." You see that someone running and says, the human lady looks, there's the little boy at the table that is just fidgeting, playing with something. She says, "Quiet. Stop that." As the human lord speaks again and goes, "(exhales) That leaves the Lord of the Hells, our beloved Strife Emperor, the Scaled Tyrant, and has the Chained Oblivion been called to bear yet?" You see that the Iron Scorpion turns and says, "The Chained Oblivion cannot be called by anyone for any reason of any kind. It is not-- That is not a source of hope for our cause. We must rally together with the Crawling King, the Spider Queen, and now the Ruiner gone. We are in dark times, indeed." You see that he looks and says, "However, all is not lost. Many of the Primes have been injured or missing, gone battle and, of course, the spirits do not long for war as we do. However, there are only so many times we can say that we are about to march before people begin to wonder why we are not marching." You see that Azmog says, "Yes, we've had to increase the executions recently. Keep people from realizing that things were not advancing as swiftly as we had hoped." In this moment, Fiedra, you look over and see this kid playing at the table. The lady turns to him and you see she looks over to her husband who apparently are the parents of this young child and says, "Darling, would you give a hand, please?" You see that human lord takes out a knife, plunges it into the kid's hand in the table and says, "Stop fidgeting. My apologies." You turn and see all the various demonic, otherworldly presences have a moment of looking somewhat, let's say, perplexed at that wanton act of cruelty from one of the mortal beings in the room. You see that the lord says, "Cloaked Serpent, Spider Queen, Crawling King, and now the Ruiner, all banished. We should work together to petition our Lord, the Strife Emperor. Advancing the war effort alone may not yield the results we need. It may be time to focus our efforts on freeing those of his kin that have been banished." You see that here the High Priestess Sata'al goes, "However, were they to be freed, more of the world need be shared amongst them. Perhaps if victory can be claimed by only three, more the spoils, no?" Fiedra, make an insight check.
JASMINE: Oh. Not good. Nine.
BRENNAN: You look at the various lieutenants of the Strife Emperor here. His personal envoy, the high torturer, the leader, the commander of the garrison here at Rybad-Kol. You look at them all looking at each other and you wonder how much any of them believes in this cause or believes in their place in this cause.
JASMINE: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: I think dinner begins to wind down. You see the child looks down at the knife in his hand and has not moved since then and looks up to you in this moment.
JASMINE: Mm-hmm. Fiedra does not look back. Just continues whatever it is that she's doing of clearing the plates.
BRENNAN: You continue looking as you get to the child's plate, you hear-- This kid is maybe about nine or 10 years old. You hear a little raspy voice go, "It's okay. I wouldn't want to help me either."
JASMINE: Oh no. Oh no. Fiedra. (laughs) Jesus. Okay. (laughter)
CELIA: Oh no.
JASMINE: Yeah, that definitely--
BRENNAN: Gang, it's the height of the Calamity and it's so bad.
CELIA: It's so bad.
MATT: It's so bad.
LIAM: Bad here.
ALEXANDER: Divergence: It's So Bad.
BRENNAN: Divergence. Yeah, (laughs) us in a "Looney Tunes" posture. Divergence: It's So Bad. (laughter)
JASMINE: That's bad, folks. (laughter)
JASMINE: Oh man. I kind of look at the kid. Does the kid have a glass of wine in front of him?
BRENNAN: It has not been filled, but he has a little glass in front of him. You look up, he's dressed in finery. He's an aristocratic child. He's here in a hall of meeting place because of who his mother and father are. They're human nobility that has sworn fealty to the Strife Emperor and turned their fiefdoms and various feudal lands into the service of the Strife Emperor. This little child lives in a level of richness, luxury, and material comfort that most of the ash-choked stragglers and survivors of the Calamity could only dream of. The small price he has to pay for that luxury and refinement is having his father stab a knife through his hand into the wood of the table because he was fidgeting at dinner.
JASMINE: All right. I pour a tiny bit of wine in his glass and I say, "It's the best I can do, kid."
BRENNAN: You walk from the table, "The best I can do, kid." These are the decisions that those that will survive Calamity have to make. As you walk away from the table, you see a wine glass in a soft, young hand go up and get poured into the bloody wound with a sting of alcohol, touching blood. That's where we're going to stop.
CELIA: What? (laughter)
JASMINE: What?
BRENNAN: Yeah, let's take our break. We'll take it right there. Hell yeah.
Break[]
The Living Lands is fractured both in nature and in politics. There is no easy path from here. The choice is yours, as will be the consequences. History waits for you. Go meet it.
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KLAUS: In play, it felt so good. MOHAMAD: Everybody's engaged at the same time. ALISON: The Hope and the Fear mechanics are a wild role-playing ride. MATT: The game is called Daggerheart, our own fantasy tabletop RPG we've been developing. It's a unique 2d12 dice rolling system that ensures that every roll of the game has some sort of impact on the game itself. DANI: It really fosters that collaborative role-play aspect. DARIUSH: Character building lets you do your own thing and organically be like, "Actually, I'll take a little of this, a little of that." CAI: You can be an unlikely combination of things. The Hope and Fear mechanics to me really feel more like the score of a good film. NATE: Mounting fear, just added a different layer of tension to the game. HANNA: The tactileness is really exciting for me. I just feel very represented in this game. EVAN: I would absolutely play again. TRAVIS: Daggerheart is fun as hell to play. RICH: I absolutely love Daggerheart. MATT: It's going to be something real special and it's just the beginning.
ASHLEY: Oh, hello! You're here to learn about Beacon? Not only the extraordinary home for everything Critical Role, but also the best way to support the very important work that we do here. LIAM: Can someone zip me up? ASHLEY: I know what you're thinking, "What's in it for me?" "What do members get?" Exclusive early access to tickets for live events. Access to our members-only Discord server. Instant video on demand and podcast access right after each episode drop. 10% discount on all merch in all five international online shops. With your support, more content is possible. [metal clanking] TRAVIS: No, I've-- TALIESIN: Shh. It's just some immersion therapy. Keep your eyes open. TRAVIS: (screams) ASHLEY: We've got Beacon exclusive series like "Critical Role Cooldown" where you get to sit around the table right after an episode ends, and "Fireside Chat" our community Q&A powered by the Beacon Discord and questions from members like you. LAURA: Hey, Ashley? ASHLEY: Yeah. LAURA: Do you want me to get you a new Mister plushy? Because this guy is rough. ASHLEY: No. MATT: We're on in five. LAURA: I'm just going to wash him, then. ASHLEY: And if that isn't enough, we've got series like "Critical Role Abridged," "Re-Slayer's Take," and "Midst." Above all, Beacon is the best way to directly support Critical Role, our staff and everyone who helped shape our company into what it is today. DIRECTOR: I'm coming to you in three, two... TRAVIS: (excited noises) MARISHA: (excited noises) MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role.
ASHLEY: Oh no, oh no, oh no. MATT: Complete story, front to back. Look forward to trilogy. BLAINE: That's it? Wow, good luck, next storyteller, my god. ♪
(cheerful music) ♪ ♪ (mysterious music) ♪
There is suddenly a clicking at the window. Something is knocking on the glass, and as you all turn, you look and see a red-feathered hawk sitting on the window sill. (gasps) Idrin's hawk. Farah opens the window and lets the hawk in. The hawk wisely looks at all of you and lifts its leg. There is a scroll tied to its talon. Farah unties the scroll and unfurls it. To my dearest friends, first, I must apologize for leaving so abruptly. LAURA:
Hey, Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. Could anything be more perfect? Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. Style should never be a dump stat, Darling. Look at this. Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening here. Check it out. Look. It has pockets. Oooh, so comfy cozy. It's so cute. I can't handle it. And hey, if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now.
(epic music) ♪ ♪ (mischievous music) ♪ (typewriter clacking) ♪ (peaceful music) ♪
TRAVIS: Move the rook to B6. MARISHA: Okay, see if that opens it. LAURA: I'm trying it. [clicks] (gasping) [metal clattering] (cheering) MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Wait, it's blank. There's nothing in here. What the hell? TALIESIN: The phonograph said that the answer would be in the journal. TRAVIS: Oh, maybe we missed something, like some clue we're not thinking of! LAURA: Ah, we only have four minutes left! MARISHA: Okay, okay, think. TALIESIN: Okay. The song said, "Look to the beacon." Look to the-- MARISHA: Right. Beacon. Light. MARISHA and LAURA: (gasp) The lightroom! LAURA: Get it out. MARISHA: Okay. TALIESIN: Oh, uh! MARISHA: Uh-huh. TALIESIN: The cryptex! LAURA and MARISHA: (scream) TALIESIN: The key is in the cryptex! LAURA and MARISHA: We know! LAURA: So if every other letter-- MARISHA: Times two. LAURA: -- is the combination-- TRAVIS: Did you say times? Times, like a clock. It's in the clock! But how do you open it? LAURA: (uncertain noise) MARISHA: Okay. What is it? LAURA: Okay, it's six. MARISHA: Okay. LAURA: Two. Four. MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: 624? It's 6:24! LAURA: Uh. Zero. [unlocking] MARISHA: (gasp) LAURA and MARISHA: (excited noise) TALIESIN: Guys, guys, I think I found it! TRAVIS: But it's not opening! TALIESIN: So how do you unlock this? MARISHA: That's not the cryptex. This is a cryptex. TALIESIN: Wait, I think if I push my fingers into... No, that's not working. MARISHA: We just need the code word. What's a six-letter code? TRAVIS: I think it's jammed! LAURA: Arlo said that in order to find the answer we need, we have to look to the beacon. MARISHA: Uh-huh. Right. But Colonel Popcorn's telegram says-- TRAVIS: (grunts) [clattering] MARISHA: "Be Aware -(STOP)- "Exciting New -(STOP)- "Amazing -(STOP)- "Critical Role Content "Available at Beacon.tv. -(STOP)- "Oh my god. "No Idea How to Finish this Fake Telegram -(STOP)-" TRAVIS: Reveal your secrets to me! TALIESIN: Can either of you help me, help me with the-- MARISHA: That's not a cryptex! TALIESIN: I am very aware. (groans) LAURA: Okay. What about this? Huh? Um, it says, "Try using Beacon." [shattering] TALIESIN: Hey, Travis. Could you help with the-- TRAVIS: Not now, dude, I'm trying to save us! We've only got 90 seconds left! [slamming] TRAVIS: (shrieks) LAURA: "10% off merchandise. "Members-only Discord. "Exclusive new series." Is that a clue? MARISHA: I don't know, it just feels too obvious, like something that a lazy writer would try and shoehorn into a script. TRAVIS: (shrieks) LAURA: Well, that would also explain this. MARISHA: I know. That's useless. LAURA: Literally no one says "literally" anymore. MARISHA: Exactly. TRAVIS: We're running out of time, people! Come on! MARISHA: Uh. Okay, we just need a six-letter word that unlocks this artifact and also unlocks amazing content! LAURA: Also, would it kill you to try to help us, Ashley? ASHLEY: What do you think I'm doing? While you all are busy sucking eggs in La La Land, I was making an improvised munitions charge that'll blow this door off with minimal loss of life and hearing. LAURA: You don't explode a door, Ashley! That's not how an escape room works! ASHLEY: Oh, really? Because that is literally what this is, an escape room. LAURA: She just said "literally." MARISHA: "Literally." TRAVIS: 30 seconds! TALIESIN: Help! It's again! ASHLEY: Fire in the hole! LAURA and MARISHA: (scream) [lever slams] [alarm buzzes] [door clacks] KYLE: Hey, guys. Uh, good job or not, I guess. Tried your best. LAURA: Did we do it? Did we escape? KYLE: No. No, no, you didn't. TRAVIS: Oh, so close. MARISHA: It was the stupid cryptex. The code word was too hard. LAURA: It was impossible! KYLE: Was it? MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah! KYLE: What was the name of the detective? LAURA: Detective Beacon. KYLE: Yeah, it was Beacon. Yeah? And where did the murder take place? MARISHA: Beacon Street. KYLE: Yeah, yeah. And what was the name of the law firm that hired Detective Beacon to exonerate the Beacon State graduate from the murder on Beacon Street? MARISHA: Beacon, Beacon, and Associates. LAURA: And Associates. TRAVIS: So what was the code word? KYLE: It's Beacon! It's Beacon! LAURA and MARISHA: Oh. KYLE: Yep, see? Here's the room key and here is all the cool new info about Beacon, our new membership program that offers discounts, early access to the Critical Role podcast, and new content like "Critical Role Abridged" and "Re-Slayer's Take," along with exclusive content like "Fireside Chats," "The Crit Role Cooldown," and many more to come. TRAVIS: So how do you get into the clock? KYLE: You don't! That's just a clock! TALIESIN: Kyle. KYLE: What... TALIESIN: I have a problem. KYLE: What did you do? Those weren't even here for the escape room. Where did you even get those? (sighs) ♪ (gentle, upbeat music ♪ "Hello Bees") ♪ THE BEE KINGS: ♪ Hello Bees, it's me again ♪ ♪ Look to the Beacon, ♪ my old friend ♪
Part II[]
BRENNAN: We return now to Rybad-Kol, deep in the heart of the Calamity. A time when all hope was lost for what seemed like an eternity. In the infirmary, Garen, you have been left here. Fiedra talked to you for a moment before tending to her duties in the Steel Keep. Nia, would you return to the infirmary or would you try to escort the dragonborn all the way to the oubliettes?
CELIA: I think I would try to escort them so I know where they're going.
BRENNAN: Incredible. Garen, left here in the infirmary as you have been, you are able to catch up and rest, a little moment of respite from the grueling toil in the pit. Give me another perception check as you're up here.
MATT: It's going to be 14.
BRENNAN: You look out and night has fallen, so the sky is jet black. You can see that in some areas of the clouds where it gets closer to open volcanic pits farther out in the terrain of this part of the world that there is a red smudge in the underside of the clouds, like a little bit of light pollution from the many fires of this ash-choked wasteland. On a 14, you see what looked like the flight of birds in the distance, which is not enough to send a shock. It's not shocking, but it is unusual to see. I mean, you've been here for so long that the routine is so powerful, but you see some distant birds descend out of the smoky clouds. They look as black and ash-covered as anything. They look to be either crows or ravens or some kind of corvid that (whooshes) descends out of the clouds for a moment. But there's something unusual, and that 14 perception, you have a feeling in your gut, sort of like a nausea. It's a kind of nauseating feeling when you're on the ground losing a fight and you're covering yourself to not get hit anywhere significant. There's a sickening feeling in the moment right before you realize you're about to try and stand up, where you go, oh, I'm about to expose some part of myself, and I think looking at those birds, there's a weird feeling of nausea that grips you in this moment, like something strange is happening. Do you remain here resting in this moment as this strange sick feeling overtakes you?
MATT: (huffs) How many other infirm are in the chamber with me?
BRENNAN: Probably about two dozen or so.
MATT: (grunts) I'd-- I'd probably want to get a better look, given recent events and odd visions and sights. Is there a place on the outside of The Mop that I could likely try and clamber to to get a better view of these strange arriving?
BRENNAN: Give me an investigation and you can use your Stonecunning feature to do so with advantage as you walk the stone halls of this warped place.
MATT: It's a 20.
BRENNAN: You get to the top. You look out. You were looking towards the northeast from the infirmary, from The Mop. As you get to the top, you look to the west of here, and you are filled with a strange sensation. There to the west, something bright and red is walking across the land. First, you think it's a storm cloud or a cyclone that's at the edge of the horizon. Then you realize that you need to turn your eyes and get underneath cover as fast as you can. You've lived a long time, but you've heard of the unfortunate few that have witnessed the gods in the flesh. There in the smoke, like a sandstorm rolling across a desert, you feel the presence of the Strife Emperor moving upon the land.
MATT: (huffs) Immediately try and, (groans) in a bit of panic and a burst of unfamiliar energy, glancing about for any familiar faces any sights around, and if none are there, to head back to The Mop and try and get as many of the other wounded in a safe space.
BRENNAN: You head back down to The Mop as quickly as you can, as you go, looking around for any other safety that you can find. Give me an investigation check, just to see if there's anything you find in the time.
MATT: That would be a 12.
BRENNAN: 12. You look around in this space as well as you can. You notice a place elsewhere nearby, but that doesn't seem like a place of safety. There's a vault where some of the belongings of prisoners are kept, which you notice off towards a separate hallway, but you move from this place, get back to the infirmary, and begin to gather people together as you can feel winds picking up. Hot, dry winds outside. We move back down. Nia, you follow your dragonborn companions as quickly as you can, arriving back down. A massive gate opens to a narrow archway that grows smaller and smaller, that opens into the Wandering Walls. The Wandering Walls are so named because they are a thin passageway in between the masonried walls of Rybad-Kol. To wander these halls, one must enter horizontal. You have to move through them. Literally, they are so narrow that your chest and back scrape off as you move through, literally wandering within the walls of Rybad-Kol and its oubliette here in this place. It is said by some prisoners that deep within the maze of them there is some path for escape. That may be legend. What is true is the number of places where the floor suddenly gives out and your chest and back are scraped off as you slide down into the darkness. Places where you simply get stuck and can't twist no matter how hard you try to get out of the walls once again.
LIAM: We know this is its reputation?
BRENNAN: Its reputation.
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: You are led up by the soldiers. Rustgut points and says, "All right, into the wall. If you're sick, make sure you die and die quick."
LIAM: I take one look at you and your girth and inside, and raise a hand out. Your care. It's appreciated.
CELIA: It is unending.
LIAM: If you have the opportunity to go, take it. I turn to start moving in.
BRENNAN: You begin to slide further within. You see Crokas, they--
ALEXANDER: Look to the entrance.
BRENNAN: Give me a acrobatics check. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You can do it with disadvantage.
ALEXANDER: I'm not going to fit. And--
LIAM: ♪ Crokas the Pooh ♪
ALEXANDER: Yeah. (laughter)
ALEXANDER: Oh, acrobatics, not my thing.
CELIA: Really?
MATT: ♪ All the ♪
ALEXANDER: Going to be a 14.
LIAM: (Winnie-the-Pooh voice) Oh dear. Oh bother.
BRENNAN: You slide part of the way into the tunnel, and as you enter there, you hear a portcullis slam behind you. The gate is locked. You are in pitch dark. Do either of you have darkvision?
ALEXANDER: I do.
BRENNAN: Yes, great. Then you can see, but I think as the other dragonborn are moved into the wall, Crokas, you manage, that 14 means you're not crushed by the portcullis, but you are stuck at the entrance. You are just too hulking to move farther in. You--
ALEXANDER: Has the guard left?
BRENNAN: I think Rustgut closes the dungeon. Looks at you Nia and says, "(grunts) As you were."
CELIA: (huffs) Nia hates herself for it, but she leaves without a plan, but she goes back to her work knowing that this is not where this story ends. She defies what she, in her gut, knows what very well could come to pass.
BRENNAN: You head back to the infirmary. As you do so, you see that two of the little kids, the two blue dragon kids who come up to you, you see that as they begin to move, their mother calls out and says, "Celwyn, Celdria, don't. T-t-the gentleman is not well. T-t-they're sick, okay, so don't, don't touch them," Because you see that both kids have moved up and you hear one of them call to you and go, "Mister, are you okay? Can you fit?"
ALEXANDER: No. I'm stuck.
BRENNAN: "We got to help him!"
ALEXANDER: How big are the space between the bars of this portcullis? Could I reach my hand through?
BRENNAN: The spaces between are probably big enough for you to get two fingers through. Not your full hand.
ALEXANDER: Mm. I look down at the lock and I try and get my hand through to see if I can grab the lock and break it off, and I can't get my hand through it. Oh no, I'm stuck.
LIAM: This is, the narrow walls that Erro has moved in towards with the group behind, this is all solid stone, right? This is--
BRENNAN: Solid front and back. You're looking at a narrow slit for you to shuffle your way through as best you can.
LIAM: There's one way to go only. It seems impossible to get the big guy--
BRENNAN: It looks like the big guy's going to, you know, be stuck here for as long as it takes for them to open that door again, but you see that the kids look up at you. One of the kids goes, "Mom, I can get through no problem. Should I go ahead? I can go scout."
LIAM: No, son. Hold a moment.
ALEXANDER: Are you sick?
LIAM: Of this shit? Yeah. (laughter)
ALEXANDER: Wait. Oh, I'm, who's sick?
LIAM: I don't think anyone is sick.
ALEXANDER: Oh, okay.
LIAM: My friend was buying us--
ALEXANDER: I was worried.
LIAM: -- a little bit of time.
ALEXANDER: (grumbles) All right.
BRENNAN: The green dragonborn says, "That was a little bit of fast play from your friend." Did you know that woman, the nurse? The half-elf who came in?"
ALEXANDER: No.
LIAM: (grunts) Yes. Not for a long time, but yes.
BRENNAN: "(grunts) All right, I'm not sick either. I'm Coswald. It seems like we might have been bought enough time to at least be kicking around until the next wagonful."
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
BRENNAN: You see, the woman speaks up and goes, "I'm Celeste. These are my children, Celwyn and Celdria,"
LIAM: Celwyn and Celdria?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: (huffs) I don't think we have much of a choice but to stay put here with you, friend.
ALEXANDER: Well, I mean, yeah. Oh, uh, Crokas.
BRENNAN: (Coswald) "That's you? You Crokas?"
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
BRENNAN: "Beautiful."
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
BRENNAN: "Like a flower, right?"
ALEXANDER: (stammers)
MATT: (laughs)
BRENNAN: "All right, friend."
ALEXANDER: I didn't name me.
BRENNAN: "Yeah, all right. Well, neither did I." (laughter)
BRENNAN: You see that as you guys are trapped here momentarily, we cut back to the infirmary. Nia, you arrived to see a very shaken-looking Garen in here, and Fiedra, the noise of the (huffs) sharp intake of breath from that child as he poured that wine on the wound in his hand, staying in your mind's eye, you arrive back in the infirmary at the same time that Nia approaches as well.
JASMINE: Did you find them?
CELIA: Yes. We have time, but they're in the Halls of Wandering. They are stuck. Crokas can't fit. Poor guy. But I saw Erro. He's okay. We just have to find a way to get them out of there, but I bought them time.
MATT: Not much time.
CELIA: Not much time? What?
MATT: He's coming.
CELIA: Who?
MATT: The Emperor is coming.
CELIA: Now?
JASMINE: The--
MATT: I can feel him. See him on the horizon. We're about to be visited.
CELIA: Okay. Plan, plan. I-I-if that, I'm not even going to question it. That is true, then I think that gives us time. If we move out of his gaze, we can find a way to let the distraction of his presence be the thing that gets our friends back. We can use this. We can use this.
JASMINE: Right? Well, I know old-timer over here knows a little thing or two about how to get around the oubliettes.
MATT: Huh?
CELIA: You do.
JASMINE: You do, right?
MATT: I built some of the places, aye. There's some imperfections in the quarry stone that we were forced to use. Could have a few points of fragility at the right push. How we going to keep out of the gaze of a guard?
CELIA: (huffs)
JASMINE: Are there guards posted around the oubliette? Would I know that? Well, Nia, you were there. Were there guards stationed there?
CELIA: There were some.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: There were some, but I think it's a good question. I think the gaze of a god is more, something tells me we can use that. There are guards there. I can't imagine they will stay there while he's here. I imagine that you went to some dinner. I'm sure maybe the guards will be dedicated to protecting those people. I--
JASMINE: That's true. There are a lot of high profile guests up in the high tower right now.
BRENNAN: You begin to hear drums out on the walls. (drum rhythm) (horn blare) Horns and cheers from the soldiers as they see the approach of their deity.
MATT: If we're going to help your friends, we have to move.
CELIA: Now.
MATT: How many guards?
CELIA: How many guards?
BRENNAN: There were three that you saw down guarding the entrance to the portcullis. However, Garen, you know that there are places, the Wandering Walls are so hellish, it's one of those things where doing something cruel borders on foolish. To make people stretch through this gap in the walls means that that part of the prison is exposed to stonework in a hundred different places, right? So I think in your head, you're like: Okay, is there a place very close to the entrance that we could potentially get to? There might be some kind of place like that that you could go and get them out.
MATT: There's a handful of places that might work.
CELIA: Okay. Nia will grab some tools to make it look as if she's going to go help someone.
BRENNAN: Grabbing your tools, amongst your personal effects, in a drawer where some of your supplies are, there is a rare piece of contraband that you were able to sneak past the guards in here. There is a clasped locket that you know holds a picture of Liana, your sister. It is glowing right now, and light is coming out from the crease underneath it in a way that you cannot explain.
CELIA: This is something that I have not seen happen before?
BRENNAN: You have not seen this happen before.
CELIA: Nia-- (trills lips) She does not have enough time. She's going to try and find a-- Not that she doesn't trust her friends with this, but she wants to find a way to secretly clock it or check it, if she can.
BRENNAN: Give me a sleight of hand.
CELIA: (groans)
BRENNAN: (laughs) I love the noise people make when they don't have that skill. (laughter)
CELIA: Cha cha, cha cha, cha cha!
BRENNAN: (mimicking Porky Pig)
CELIA: Nat 20!
BRENNAN: Nat 20! Unbelievable!
CELIA: Yes, because I add nothing to it! Straight-up nat 20!
BRENNAN: Straight-up nat 20.
CELIA: (trilling)
BRENNAN: Nia, you open the locket.
CELIA: My heart is pounding. Okay, go ahead, sorry.
BRENNAN: You open the locket. For a moment, you are almost horrified, because you cannot see the beautiful portrait of your sister's face. You have to believe that she's still out there somewhere. You just see pure light, and the pure light flitters and begins to disperse, revealing the portrait underneath it as a small cloud, smaller than gnats, of glowing, minuscule fireflies of glowing, minuscule fireflies (fluttering) depart, one of them biting you on the throat right above the collarbone.
CELIA: (gasps) She doesn't go to destroy it. She lets it run its course, because this is something, if this is her, she has to keep it alive. Nia gets really quiet, really, really quiet, and closes the clasp, puts it-- She puts it back in the drawer. She doesn't take it with her.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
CELIA: No, she takes it with her. She puts it in her little pouch, in a secret thing that she puts this locket where it goes, in the way that she was able to sneak it around, and continues.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You continue on as fast as you can.
CELIA: Actually, can I do some sort of check to figure out what that was?
BRENNAN: Yeah, give me nature, give me arcana, whatever you want to do.
CELIA: (trilling)
BRENNAN: It is absolutely one of the crazier things that has happened to you in Rybad-Kol.
CELIA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: It defies explanation.
CELIA: Yeah, I think because it defies explanation, Nia needs that, so she's going to try and figure out what on earth-- Okay, you said, what are my options?
ALEXANDER: Nature or arcana.
CELIA: Nature or arcana. They're both the same. 14.
BRENNAN: 14. Without crushing it, you see that this little bug on your hand gathers there and moves, not crushed, not killed. You feel where it bit you. Blood is rushing to that spot, making a little bump like a bug bite. It makes you feel your blood is pounding in your veins. It doesn't feel bad, it feels like, time to move, time to do something, and as that bug sees that you have left it alive, it flits out the window, vanishing in the smoke and ash of the nighttime. You have the effects of the Bless spell on you. You can add 1d4 to any attack rolls or saving throws.
CELIA: At any given time?
BRENNAN: For the duration of the spell.
CELIA: Oh, okay. How long does this spell last?
BRENNAN: Huh?
CELIA: How long does this spell last?
BRENNAN: A fair amount.
CELIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: You know what, I'll tell you when it's gone.
CELIA: Thank you. Okay, perfect, perfect.
BRENNAN: You'll find out in the moment when you need it.
CELIA: Perfect. Okay, good.
BRENNAN: But you're feeling a sense of, something really amazing is happening. As you all move quickly to find this spot, you can give me a Stonecunning investigation, or if you want to give me the tools check, you can do that as well.
MATT: I might do that, yeah. I know definitely Garen has gotten his various stone-working tools and is packed and ready and throws and catches in the air his massive stone-working hammer and holds it with that intent of either-- To bludgeon something. But as part of that check, it's going to be, double there, 19.
BRENNAN: 19, hell yes. You guys are rolling high.
MATT: We're rolling really good.
BRENNAN: You're rolling high.
MATT: For level zero characters, we're doing okay.
CELIA: It's good here, gang.
BRENNAN: It's good here.
ALEXANDER: It's up to Liam and I to bring it down.
MATT: The best I've ever rolled as a character. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Fiedra, Nia, and Garen, you move through a bunch of back channels that Garen takes you to. Garen's familiarity with this prison is other-- It's almost like the guy helped build it. It's really-- There's a tremendous familiarity of this worked stone. There's an entrance that you didn't know about, because it's behind a long red velvet curtain in the aristocratic--
MATT: Hey, whoa. All right.
BRENNAN: Through the place, and Garen, you arrive at a place that, sure enough, it's masonry, but it's an unmortared wall. The stones are resting on each other here, and there's one stone that is not quite big enough to get a contact surface with the stone above it or the stone to its right, and you see effectively a loose stone in that wall. It looks like it would be high up for whatever the other side of this wall goes to, but there's a chair nearby. This is an abandoned dining hall for officers of the corps that are not here right now.
MATT: All right, need someone to keep watch. Other person, whoever that might be, help me see if we can get through this.
JASMINE: I'll keep watch.
MATT: All right,
CELIA: Smart.
MATT: Nia, with me. Goes ahead and sets the chair up on the side, gets one of his thick chisels and wedges it in the center there and tries to gauge the best angle to get the force of weight behind it. Ask if you can help hold where that is.
CELIA: Oh yeah.
MATT: So he can get the whole weight of his one arm into it.
CELIA: Mm-hmm.
MATT: Do you trust me?
CELIA: Yes.
MATT: (hammer thudding)
CELIA: (grunting)
BRENNAN: This hammer thunders down on the stone. Boom, boom, boom! Finally, the stone moves past, clips through the shortest point of the stone above it and below it, and you see slides off and thunks into the passageway, narrow-- You hit it just right so that it slides down the narrow side, clatters into the Wandering Wall behind it. There is a large masonry block space where you guys could slip into that narrow channel.
LIAM: Is that audible to any in our party?
BRENNAN: Perception checks from you guys.
ALEXANDER: Ha-ha-ha-ha.
LIAM: (groans) 17.
ALEXANDER: Yeah, that's 16.
BRENNAN: Both of you hear-- There's a lot of other noises nearby, but both of you hear an audible ka-chunk (sliding) of the stone sliding down through the narrow passageway. It's not far from here. It's maybe something like 50 or 60 yards from here.
LIAM: Okay, also, follow-up question, was the sound of that, it was like war horns from outside in the--
BRENNAN: That would've been way more muffled to you.
LIAM: To us?
BRENNAN: To you guys, yes.
LIAM: Okay, then hearing that stone, then Erro is going to start sliding up to figure it out. I've got 60 feet darkvision out, so I'm trying to figure out what the hell that was. I know that Nia has run off to try to enact something, so--
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
LIAM: -- putting two and two together.
BRENNAN: Yeah, go for it.
CELIA: No, I think that once I see that that's fallen, and I understand what's happening, Nia sends out a-- There's still a lot of noise happening and cacophony of sound, so I don't think she's incredibly worried. She sends a whistle down the hole so that Erro can clock that it is her and we are here.
BRENNAN: Cool.
CELIA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You hear a familiar whistle coming down the hallway to you. Do both of you guys want to get into that wall space, or are you staying out in this other room?
MATT: You go on and get your friends.
CELIA: Okay.
MATT: I'm going to go ahead and climb in, but stay there within eye contact.
JASMINE: I'm just making sure, did that noise attract anyone down that hallway we just came down? Do I see any movement, or--
BRENNAN: Down the hallway you just came down?
JASMINE: Yeah, or from anywhere.
BRENNAN: Nothing at the moment.
JASMINE: Okay.
BRENNAN: Nia, give me an acrobatics check.
CELIA: I will. And I might use-- We'll see first.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: See first before we-- Oh yeah, we're going to use that Bless. That's a four.
MATT: Add a d4, right?
CELIA: That's a d4.
BRENNAN: That's a d4, yeah.
CELIA: Something else. Please be good.
BRENNAN: Call it a DC 10. So close!
CELIA: Seven.
BRENNAN: Seven. You slide into the wall and can feel yourself get down there and as you do, your foot suddenly, where it should be floor, feels an opening to one of those pits that just drops down.
CELIA: Good.
BRENNAN: You suddenly-- gasps) I'm going to need a dexterity saving throw from you.
CELIA: Okay!
LIAM: Am I aware and cognizant of this?
BRENNAN: Yes, you are cognizant of this.
LIAM: I start sliding as fast as I can.
MATT: How far did this happen from me?
BRENNAN: Directly in hearing of you.
CELIA: (grunts)
MATT: Try and reach--
BRENNAN: Reach for her as fast as you can. Hell yeah.
CELIA: Yeah, I'm going to try and get a hand up there if I can. You said dexterity saving. That's an 11!
LIAM: Here come the the bad rolls.
BRENNAN: 11, okay. I would like a dexterity save from each of you. I just need one of you to beat a 12.
CELIA: Please.
MATT: Whew! My dex is a minus three, so--
LIAM: A dex-- I hit a 12.
MATT: 13 with a minus three.
BRENNAN: 13 with a minus three! What'd you get?
LIAM: 12 on the nose.
BRENNAN: 12 on the nose.
CELIA: Yes!
BRENNAN: So Garen, Nia, as you leap down bravely into the dark, your foot goes to find a steady floor, and instead, you can feel the cold, and you suddenly have a moment where you know you would slide, scraping your body off on the walls, until someone else's bones caught you.
CELIA: Mm.
ALEXANDER: Ugh.
BRENNAN: Instead, you feel, at the same instant, a strong, wiry, draconic hand grab one bundle of cloth on a shoulder, and a powerful dwarven hand grab a bunch of cloth on the other as you guys are united in the Wandering Wall, face to face, and for the first time, both of you with darkvision turn to behold each other.
CELIA: I also have darkvision.
LIAM: Hey.
CELIA: Hey!
LIAM: Is there a part two of this plan?
CELIA: We leave, that's the part two. Where's Crokas?
LIAM: Well, it's a thing.
CELIA: Okay.
LIAM: He's large. We've got a number of people with us. We can get most of them down here, but I don't know about the big guy.
CELIA: Well, we know-- I know where the gates were to get into this place. If I tell you where they are, do you think we can find a way to get to them from the entrance as opposed to this wall?
MATT: We can try, though it's likely more out in the open.
CELIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: Fiedra, give me a perception check.
JASMINE: Perception check. Oh, that's a bad one. Eight.
BRENNAN: Eight.
ALEXANDER: I love being--
JASMINE: I'm very distracted as soon as I hear Crokas' name and I hear we can't get him out, Fiedra's attention, I think, is immediately distracted by that.
BRENNAN: Cool. Great. What's your armor class?
JASMINE: Oh no! Oh no!
MATT: My favorite question.
JASMINE: It's a 13.
BRENNAN: 13? Okay, as you are turning to look at the wall, a crossbow bolt--
CELIA: What?
BRENNAN: -- thunders past you from one of the guards, openly firing on you, looking past you, just, twang! He says, "There! What are you doing here on this hall? You have no business on this level!" Twang, twang! And open fire, misses you. It is your turn. What do you do?
JASMINE: Oh fuck. Is there anything near me that I can hide--
BRENNAN: Well, you do happen to see a big hole in the wall.
JASMINE: Yeah. I look at the guard, and then I look at that wall, and I take a deep breath and I run and I jump and I try to--
BRENNAN: Give me a stealth check.
JASMINE: -- hold myself against the wall.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: Hold myself in place.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: 24.
BRENNAN: 24! Incredible.
MATT: Do I hear her rushing towards it?
BRENNAN: Yes, you do.
MATT: At this place, while still holding your arm, I'm going to lift you up to where you're on your feet.
CELIA: Yep.
MATT: Get the hammer out and hold right at the side of where the hole is where she's going to come through.
BRENNAN: Hell yes, Fiedra, you leap into the hole, scuttle above the hole, and fan out, just superimposed above it. With a readied action, a soldier's head comes through the hole.
MATT: (hammer thudding) I bring my stone hammer down.
BRENNAN: Make your attack. Everybody roll initiative.
CELIA: Damn!
ALEXANDER: Oh yeah.
BRENNAN: Let's go.
ALEXANDER: I'm going to do so much.
BRENNAN: I'm going to do so much!
MATT: All right, with a negative three dex, I still got a 15 total.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable.
ALEXANDER: Perfect.
BRENNAN: What's that?
ALEXANDER: One.
BRENNAN: A one, great. Did anyone beat a 15?
JASMINE: No.
CELIA: No.
JASMINE: It's plus your dex, right?
BRENNAN: Plus your dex, that is correct.
ALEXANDER: Natural one.
BRENNAN: Hell yes. So this soldier, wearing cast iron full plate, hauls himself through. You have a readied action, so we don't have to go to your turn, so he goes. You're going to get a readied action on him, and then did anyone else beat a 15?
CELIA: No.
JASMINE: No.
BRENNAN: It's going to immediately be your turn after that readied action goes off.
MATT: Waiting for so long to do this! (laughter)
BRENNAN: Go ahead, take your attack.
MATT: First attack, not great, but it's a 10.
BRENNAN: This is a human guard without darkvision, so in other words, you will have advantage, because you're attacking in darkness.
MATT: That's true. All righty. That's better, that's a 16.
BRENNAN: 16 hits.
MATT: For my stone hammer--
BRENNAN: That's just going to be 1d6 plus your strength modifier.
MATT: About to say, yeah, not a tremendous thing. That would be a one. That's going to be five points of damage, I believe.
BRENNAN: Boom, that's your first attack. Then it's your turn.
MATT: (grunts)
LIAM: I don't want to get hit by a stone hammer.
ALEXANDER: No, you do not.
MATT: That's going to be a 22 to hit.
BRENNAN: 22 is a hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
MATT: Another five points of damage.
BRENNAN: These guards had 10 hit points. (laughter)
MATT: (grunts)
BRENNAN: Boom, boom. You guys watch a helmet warp to the point where warped steel-- In other words, this guard died because his helmet stabbed into his brain. Just (stabbing)
MATT: If I can, with the second impact, I'm going to take the hammer as it's embedded, drag him off the fallen stone, and try and plunk him into the hole that you almost fell into just to get him out of the way.
CELIA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
BRENNAN: Hell yes, go ahead, give me an athletics, difficulty 15.
LIAM: You Metal Geared.
MATT: That's a natural 19, 23. It's the best I've ever rolled as a player character! I'm so happy!
BRENNAN: This is unbelievable. I'll say on a 19, Matt, you can plug up the dangerous pitfall trap, or if you want, you can yank him and plug up the hole leading to the other guards. He's so heavy that if you just jam him in his armor in that opening, up to you. If you want to remove the obstacle for you guys in the floor that's a great use for it, or on a 19, I'll let you also, if you wanted to seal up the hole in the wall, you could do that as well.
MATT: In the moment, thinking the conversation about you being stuck and trying to find the other way out, I'm going to hope that there's a way to try and get through the portcullis, or at least another break in the wall if we can look for it and instead try and keep others from coming through here and firing on us, so I'm going to try and jam him into the hole where we came through to try and keep them from following.
BRENNAN: Yanking him down with that hammer and twisting him, his armored body is just a-- Really what it is is, you have immediately-- Your dwarven craftsmanship is like, I can turn a suit of armor into a wall, chunk! There just happens to be a body in there, but that's irrelevant, and you can see the guards, who just watched their companion poke his head into a hole, hear two sickening, loud clangs of stone on metal, and a crunch of skull muffled by a helmet as their friend-- "Friend." As their companion ignominiously is now upside-down, ass in the air, legs poking out of a hole in a stone wall.
LIAM: Tetris! (laughter)
BRENNAN: You know when you get a long piece and you really needed one?
MATT: Line piece!
BRENNAN: Incredible. Did anybody else get between a 10 and a 15?
JASMINE: I got a 14.
BRENNAN: 14, okay. Fiedra, your exit is now barred, but you are also safe from the other guards. In this space, is there anything you do in this moment on your turn to act? Those two guards, you are safe from danger from, but you don't know where Crokas is.
JASMINE: Yeah, and I don't think I have darkvision, so I can't-- Can I not see anything in here either?
BRENNAN: Oh shit, you're blind.
JASMINE: Yeah, I'm completely blind.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
JASMINE: Cool! So I'm blindly-- I say: Crokas! Crokas, can you hear me?
ALEXANDER: Can I hear her?
BRENNAN: Yes, you can hear her.
ALEXANDER: (grunts) Yeah.
JASMINE: Are you hurt?
ALEXANDER: No?
JASMINE: Okay, just wait there. We're coming.
ALEXANDER: All right. I'm not going anywhere.
JASMINE: That's all I can really do.
BRENNAN: That's all you can really do.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You can wait for someone to try guide you, if you want. Did anybody else get between a 10 and a 14? No. Under 10?
LIAM: Seven.
BRENNAN: Seven.
ALEXANDER: I mean, technically yes.
CELIA: Six.
BRENNAN: Six, yeah.
MATT: Ooh!
BRENNAN: So for Erro, what do you do?
LIAM: Well, can I ask one quick question? Is there any doubt in Erro's mind that he's not fitting through these walls, right?
BRENNAN: You don't think there's a way, but you haven't interacted with this dwarf before, who's literally straddling the wall. I guess to take that swing, you're hip flexing out to stay on the wall.
MATT: Yeah. (grunts)
BRENNAN: Bam! He has tools in here, is the only thing.
LIAM: Okay, so we caught you and the hole is plugged.
BRENNAN: Yes.
LIAM: We're locked in behind. We've got two little kids and a bunch of adult dragonborn. I don't think he knows what to do. I'm going to hold. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to wait in case buddy boy, Tetris man, gets pulled out.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: I'm going to vomit on anybody that sticks their head through.
BRENNAN: Okay, copy that.
LIAM: I'll just do a hold action.
ALEXANDER: Not breath action, just vomit.
LIAM: Just vomit. It's bad here.
CELIA: (retches)
BRENNAN: It's bad here. It's so bad here. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You hear the guards running off in this moment. You can hear them say, "Call for backup! Call for backup!" and begin to run off to go get reinforcements.
LIAM: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: As they do so, there's sudden silence, and we can exit initiative order. What do you all do gathered here in the dark in the wall?
CELIA: We can't stop moving. We have to go get Crokas.
LIAM: We have to make a play of it now. Otherwise, we're dead.
MATT: Haven't seen it from this side. I'm going to go head and try to skirt along and see if there's any other, on the opposite side of the wall, begin to slowly crawl my way across using my elbow and arm to see if there's any other weakness in the wall here we can try and push through.
BRENNAN: You begin to move through. You meet up with the dragonborn family, with Celeste and her children. The rest of you come through. You can hear-- Now you begin to hear-- You're hearing a lot more horns now. There's a ton of them. As you get closer, you're looking for something in that area that would be a similar wall weakness. As you get within 60 feet, you see the issue, which is this hulking dragonborn that can't be made to fit through this narrow chamber.
MATT: Uh-oh.
ALEXANDER: Who are you?
MATT: I'm Garen. Who are you?
ALEXANDER: Crokas.
BRENNAN: Fiedra, you are taken as well and are reunited with Crokas here at this moment.
JASMINE: Oh, okay.
ALEXANDER: Hi.
JASMINE: Crokas, oh my gosh. Are you okay?
ALEXANDER: It is small in here.
JASMINE: Yeah. Well we're going to get you out, all right?
ALEXANDER: Oh, out?
JASMINE: Out, yeah.
ALEXANDER: He immediately tries to push through, use all his strength to bust open, push out the rocks in front of me.
BRENNAN: Give me an athletics check. It's a DC 30 to push open the gate. But who knows? Maybe you'll crit.
LIAM: Gate or rock wall, did you say?
ALEXANDER: The rock wall that's in front of me.
BRENNAN: The rock wall. Push, yeah.
ALEXANDER: I'm going to try and push my way through it. Yeah, no. I mean, 18?
BRENNAN: 18. As you push the rock wall, all of you hear: (resounding boom)
ALEXANDER: I don't think I did that.
BRENNAN: The ground beneath you begins to shake. (ominous rumbling)
MATT: Oh dear.
BRENNAN: You hear a noise like cracking. (spreading crack) Those with darkvision see a sight that you at first don't understand. Go ahead-- Everyone with darkvision sees something moving in the hallway in front of you. It looks like fingers reaching from one wall to the other, hundreds of long, spindly fingers. You might be going mad, but you're all seeing it. Garen, so fast that they can be seen to be moving, Garen, you see roots growing from one wall to another. (creeping growth)
LIAM: Are they clogging and filling the entrance entirely?
BRENNAN: Where you would go, that is now fully blocked, and there is the portcullis behind you.
LIAM: So it's coming like a Play-Doh fun factory--
BRENNAN: Yes.
LIAM: -- up toward us.
BRENNAN: Up towards you, yes.
CELIA: Play-Doh fun factory!
LIAM: Okay.
JASMINE: Fiedra says: Why did everyone just get so quiet? What just happened?
ALEXANDER: Sticks.
CELIA: Sticks.
JASMINE: Sticks?
CELIA: We have to move. We have to move.
LIAM: We got a change of plan.
JASMINE: Move where?
LIAM: I'm going to turn. I see the hammer in your hand. Erro goes to the gate. Once we get out to the gate, there's a little more room, right?
BRENNAN: Yes, there's a small, triangular antechamber.
LIAM: I yell out: Dwarf! Then I--
MATT: Aye!
LIAM: -- belch fire all over the gate and its lock, heating it.
BRENNAN: Hell yes. Go ahead and roll damage for me, if you'd be so kind.
LIAM: Okay, so I assume the gate doesn't have to make a save.
BRENNAN: No, it automatically fails.
LIAM: That's--
BRENNAN: Is that 3d10? What is that you roll? No.
ALEXANDER: No.
LIAM: It's 1d10--
BRENNAN: 1d10. Okay, cool.
LIAM: -- creature takes, and I rolled a one.
BRENNAN: A one. You summon your breath, (forceful exhale) and you see that it heats it. You think this will work. You need to funnel more of the breath into the mechanism itself, and probably it's not enough to melt the lock off, but it's certainly enough to soften it, and a single hammer blow. As this happens, Nia, you get a feeling like your stomach rising up, like when you move quickly over a hill, and as it does, your locket glows, and the chamber is filled with fireflies, green light.
CELIA: Nia, truly believing that she has gone mad, starts laughing a little bit. Seeing all of these fireflies, she, knowing that her sister is near, even in this terrifying hellscape, she knows that her objective is still possible. She laughs. (laughs)
ALEXANDER: There's bugs in here.
CELIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: Nia, as you start laughing, Crokas, Erro, you feel yourself bitten by a small, glowing insect.
CELIA: Don't kill it! Let it go.
ALEXANDER: I wasn't going to kill it.
BRENNAN: As Nia laughs, that Bless spreads to all of you.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: What in the gods is going on?
CELIA: Not gods.
ALEXANDER: What's this? This gate go up?
BRENNAN: I need everyone here to make a DC 23 dexterity saving throw.
MATT: Oh, sure.
CELIA: Sure. Sure, Brennan.
JASMINE: Wait, I think--
LIAM: No.
MATT: Mathematically--
CELIA: Oh wait, I might--
LIAM: Well with the Bless, it's possible.
CELIA: What'd you say?
BRENNAN: Dexterity saving throw.
ALEXANDER: Oh, with the Bless. Yeah.
CELIA: Oh. Oh, it is possible with a dexterity saving throw.
JASMINE: My D&D Beyond has been messing up. I don't have a--
BRENNAN: Use your stat block in front of you.
JASMINE: Yeah, okay.
CELIA: And then it's a d4.
JASMINE: I don't get anything extra for a saving throw.
BRENNAN: No.
JASMINE: Right? It's just--
BRENNAN: I don't think so.
JASMINE: Okay.
CELIA: Please, please, please.
MATT: With that Bless, I got a five.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
JASMINE: 11.
BRENNAN: All of you--
CELIA: Yeah, nope.
ALEXANDER: So close. 19.
BRENNAN: So close.
CELIA: 21.
BRENNAN: All of you in this little triangular antechamber fail a DC 23 dex saving throw and go prone. Garen, through the tremors in your feet, an entire tower of Rybad-Kol, an entire tower of Rybad-Kol, you can't see it, but you feel through the stone an entire tower has been pulled out of the earth by a force of magic greater than you have ever felt, thundered through the air, and all of you are knocked to the ground by the tremor of an entire built tower, a keep of Rybad-Kol, slamming into some surface above you. The wall, the narrow passageway in front of you, a wall of it collapses, choked by roots. That way is barred. That is collapsed and gone, past you.
LIAM: So the roots had nothing to do with us going prone? A tidal wave of roots came and then something else happened entirely?
BRENNAN: A tidal wave of roots came, and something else happened entirely. The events you're witnessing in your sleep deprived, malnourished state, would well within reason make you think that either you are going mad, or maybe you have died. Maybe this is the visions that a person has while they're dying. Maybe you're still in that carriage. Who knows? It is as maddening as can be. These glowing fireflies surround you. They've bitten you. As they do, the roots arise. Erro, in the very front of the group, a root suddenly strikes out like it's going to pierce your chest and stops in midair as a little glowing bug passes in front of it and the root pulls back. They grow, stopping in front of you, and then you hear them pick up again past the portcullis in some deference to this cloud of fireflies. The roots will continue their destructive work, but bow in passing to this lovely cloud of insects.
CELIA: I think I see them moving around. I wonder, if the roots are passing us, do they pass through that small, the poles between the gates, do they get through that? The strength of them, do they give us more give?
BRENNAN: Do they damage that door at all?
CELIA: Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
BRENNAN: The roots, you believe, have damaged a lot of the building around you. It is possible that the door is-- Actually, I'll say this. The gate is fully off its hinges. However, the problem is that the portcullis, the part that's supposed to raise up that has the lock on it, that now can't get drawn up. So you're suddenly in this world where you're like: How the fuck do we get out of here? In the moments that come, you hear thunder and lightning. There is a moment where all of the air within the chamber suddenly recedes like a tide. All of you in this moment, even though you are partially under rubble, you hear chaos, drums, war outside. There is a moment where the air recedes like a tide and all of you are forced against your will to exhale. (forced exhales)
BRENNAN: After that, you hear a noise like a type of thunder you have never heard before. It is a lightning blast that threatens to permanently deafen everyone in this space, even buried under a fortress of stone. (deafening crackle) Noise recedes. Garen, you hear (squeaking chitters) a wave of about maybe several thousand mice rush past your guys' feet, avoiding all of you. At the very back, one little mouse stops, looks up, and deposits a crumb in front of you, and then (chitters) continues out. As the mice go, out past you, whatever rubble is out beyond, you hear the mice squeaking. Suddenly someone goes, "No, no, no, no!" and hear screams from somewhere out in the hallway. The last thing you hear, well out in the distance, is after the horns and shrieking and shouts, you just hear (howling) you just hear (howling) and the noise of soldiers and men begins to be replaced by a distant howl that pierces the cold stone, a noise like roaring and stamping that fades.
CELIA: Do any of us recognize that sound?
BRENNAN: Give me a nature check, difficulty 10.
CELIA: Cha cha cha cha, cha cha cha. (groans) That's a natural one.
BRENNAN: On a natural one, you have lived in an ash-choked wasteland your whole life and have never seen a healthy beast.
CELIA: Okay.
ALEXANDER: Crokas stands up and looks at the gate again, having no idea what's going on, and moves himself to take his tail and wedge it behind him in the corner of the triangle and put both his arms on the gate and is going to try and force his way, pushing the gate out of its hinges.
BRENNAN: Hell yes.
LIAM: I see that and match, even though much smaller-framed. I'm not going to let him go it alone.
BRENNAN: What'd you get?
ALEXANDER: I got a two.
BRENNAN: A two.
ALEXANDER: But that's 10 total.
BRENNAN: Crokas, with this incredible show of strength, you push, and you slide the portcullis. Even on a 10, it's not enough to get you guys out of here. But what you do manage to do is slide it back so that if that lock gets broken, it can at least get back up out of the gate. You know that after a hearty rest, you will have that ability to help soften that lock again.
LIAM: I can do it now.
BRENNAN: Oh, you can do it now. Okay, great.
LIAM: Yes, I can. I will do it now.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
LIAM: Okay, I'll resume.
BRENNAN: Go for it.
LIAM: So it's just another, no save. This time it is a six.
BRENNAN: Six. With that six, you deal six points of damage. This thing has, I'll tell you right now, nine hit points left. Go ahead and roll that hammer damage.
CELIA: You got this.
MATT: This is with the Bless.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: That's going to be a 24 to hit.
BRENNAN: 24 hits. Just need to do nine points of damage.
MATT: That'll be eight points of damage on one hit.
BRENNAN: Clang! That fades. You can see that this will work. It just needs another point of effort. Time passes. It is so shockingly, bewilderingly silent. Knowing that you need time for this plan to work again, you are able to rest. As you do, you see the mom takes her cloak off as a place for the kids to lie down.
CELIA: Can Nia try something?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: She has her tools on her, her nurse's tools.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: Maybe something like, I don't know how--
BRENNAN: If you want to give a thieves' tool check, yeah, anything like that.
CELIA: Sure, yeah.
BRENNAN: Go for it, absolutely.
CELIA: ♪ I don't know where ♪ ♪ That would be on here ♪ ♪ Thieves' tool check. ♪
MATT: It would be your proficiency plus dex, which would be zero.
CELIA: Okay, so proficiency is two.
MATT: Yeah.
CELIA: Plus two. Okay.
ALEXANDER: Crokas--
CELIA: Is that a d20 I roll?
MATT: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: Bee-bee-bee-bee. Plus two. 11!
MATT: Plus your Bless.
CELIA: Oh, I use it again. ♪ Fantastic ♪
MATT: Or is Bless just attacks and saving throws?
BRENNAN: I'll allow this to be a special Bless that goes to ability checks.
CELIA: Thank you. It's from my sister.
BRENNAN: It's only a d4 that you're rolling for the Bless, though.
CELIA: d4.
BRENNAN: So you've got to hit a four on the d4.
CELIA: Which I will. Why not?
BRENNAN: You will.
CELIA: Ha!
BRENNAN: It's a one.
CELIA: Uh-huh. (laughter)
BRENNAN: I will say this. There is a lot of desire to move and move quickly here. However, in the weird light of these fireflies, the strange silence that's around, and the fact that you no longer hear the approaching footsteps of the Strife Emperor. You don't hear horns. You don't know what the fuck is going on outside of this doorway.
CELIA: Mm.
MATT: Anyone hear anything?
JASMINE: I overheard some weird things at that dinner. I think all those emissaries of, you know, the other Betrayer Gods, I don't think they really like each other very much. They're working together in name, but I think, like many people, it seems that they are not fully trusting each other. There's a lot of suspicion. A lot of not wanting to share the world.
MATT: Maybe traitorous, then.
JASMINE: Could be.
MATT: These events.
JASMINE: Could be. Maybe they've chosen now to-- Maybe they're attacking the Strife Emperor's followers. Maybe they're--
MATT: Yeah, but this, these roots, these--
CELIA: Wait--
MATT: -- little glow bug says this is not the work of a Betrayer.
LIAM: When I was a child, I was near a place where two of them clashed. The noise was deafening. There was more than one god walking these climes.
JASMINE: So then that noise that we heard, that could have been... That was when one of the gods got struck down, you said. Could that have been what we heard?
MATT: That's too hopeful to believe.
LIAM: That silence, do we hear anything past this portcullis at this point, like troops running around?
BRENNAN: Give me a perception check.
LIAM: 21.
BRENNAN: You haven't heard a silence like this in years. There's not even wind blowing outside. Something's just happened out there that you can barely begin to understand. There should be footsteps coming through the walls of other people around. There should be something else out there. You see that Celeste looks over at you in the darkness and says, "If-- If any of us had a breath like yours to help with this endeavor, I think we would use it. Perhaps the best thing is, if you are not really sick, and none of us are really sick--"
CELIA: No one's sick. I lied.
BRENNAN: "Thank you." You see that the little boy, Celwyn, looks up and goes, "See? Lying is great sometimes."
CELIA: Sometimes it's okay.
BRENNAN: "Yeah."
CELIA: Sometimes, to save your friends and your family, but you always have to tell them after the fact that you have lied. You have to tell the truth about lying.
BRENNAN: "You have to tell the truth about lying. Okay."
ALEXANDER: You see Crokas (laughs) can't work that out in his head.
MATT: Crokas, this one's got breath of flame. You got anything packing in those lungs?
ALEXANDER: No.
JASMINE: But he has so many other strengths.
ALEXANDER: Doesn't work. You can see that black veining goes up into his throat, and there's a weird crease in the scales around his throat. You can see that around the corners of his mouth, this snow sludge falls out between his teeth. Doesn't really, you know.
MATT: I'm sorry.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
MATT: We find strength elsewhere. He shows off his cap in his arm. Puts the hammer on his side, pulls out the chisel, it's probably a little bent from some of the previous stuff, and goes up to where the lock is. Is there a visible, damaged but visible key entrance there?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MATT: Tries to jam the chisel in there and turns the hammer and hands it to him.
ALEXANDER: He takes it and goes: Why'd you do that to your arm?
MATT: (smirks) Regret.
ALEXANDER: (grunts) And he-- (swings hammer)
BRENNAN: Give me an attack roll.
ALEXANDER: Oh, point of order. I can't fit my hand through the bars. (laughs) He sticks the hammer and his hand gets stuck.
BRENNAN: Yeah, you put your hand through. Once again, this massive strength that is used here to your advantage. You just want to fucking help. Your hand fits inside the portcullis There's got to be a path for you. Try as you might, seconds turn into minutes, minutes to hours. Strange in this place surrounded by crumbled rock and root. After time, Erro, you feel that fire breath return to you. It has been long. There has been no noise, no clue of what is occurring on the outside. After many long hours, your breath returns to you, and you may attempt again.
LIAM: Easy enough. That is a seven for the damage.
BRENNAN: Seven. So we need eight damage here. Or you can--
ALEXANDER: Give him the hammer back. It's all your go. (laughs) I can't get my hand through.
MATT: I give you the hammer on this one. You finish this off. I need to sit down.
BRENNAN: Your hand can't fit through, but maybe if you hit it hard enough from the outside.
ALEXANDER: Yeah, I think what he does is he grabs the hammer in his fist and he essentially uses it to bridge the gap between two bars and just punch the gate open. (laughs)
MATT: I use the help action to try and point out: Based on the previous impacts here, these spots are the most damaged for structural integrity. You want to go for the--
ALEXANDER: Have we lost the Bless?
BRENNAN: The Bless is still here.
ALEXANDER: Okay. Okay. Terrible.
MATT: You have advantage from me helping you.
ALEXANDER: Oh! Great, great, great, great, great, great.
CELIA: Thank you.
ALEXANDER: Better. Actually-- No, yes better. So that's a total of... Four, nine, 13. 21.
BRENNAN: 21 hits. Roll damage. You're trying to do eight points of damage.
ALEXANDER: Is that a d6?
MATT: d6.
ALEXANDER: Okay, d6.
BRENNAN: You can add the Bless to this roll as well.
ALEXANDER: Okay.
ALEXANDER: That's eight points of damage, you said?
BRENNAN: Eight points of damage.
ALEXANDER: Three, four, five, that's five points of damage. (laughs)
BRENNAN: Plus your strength? Really?
ALEXANDER: Oh, not plus my strength. (laughter)
ALEXANDER: That's nine.
BRENNAN: Nine. (cheering)
MATT: That'll do it. That'll do it.
CELIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: (powerful punch) The lock shatters, the softened metal, (scraping) you burn a little bit of your knuckles punching through with the hammer. The lock is undone, the chain falls to the ground, the portcullis goes up, and as it does, the gate (clattering) falls, partially crumbling hallway before you. You see that there was a administrator of Rybad-Kol who is now, less than 10 hours after you heard them scream, a completely picked clean skeleton. No flesh anywhere. As you walk out, you see three ravens on the tattered clothing of the body, (ravens caw) (wings whoosh) take flight. Fiedra, you know that this hallway should go out towards The Gauntlet, one of the two major cell blocks. Instead, it goes towards a heap of rubble with a dim haze of dust and ash settling, but with a little bit of some dull gray light coming through and three ravens fly out.
JASMINE: That way is blocked, or no?
BRENNAN: That looks open. They fly up to open sky.
JASMINE: Oh, I mean through the-- Okay.
BRENNAN and ALEXANDER: Yeah.
JASMINE: All right. I mean, I think we can get up there.
LIAM: So wandering out here, has the entire place been laid to waste? Are there roots all over the place?
BRENNAN: The hallway ahead of you, you see the roots burst up from the floor and as they do, you see that there are three soldiers that look like they were running down this hallway. The roots have erupted into briars, and you see that rings of briar have severed their heads from their shoulders. You can see where an iris of thorny plant matter (tightening vine) pulled heads from shoulders as they ran.
ALEXANDER: Not supposed to happen.
CELIA: No.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
LIAM: Carefully, but it's time to leave.
CELIA: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: Where do we go?
JASMINE: Think we can all get up through there?
ALEXANDER: I can lift people.
CELIA: Yeah.
JASMINE: Would we all fit? Does it look large enough to--
BRENNAN: Yeah. Looks like there's a large rubble strewn, where the stone collapsed, and then there's an angle of fallen stone going up to some gray dim light.
ALEXANDER: Fiedra, and he holds his hand out for you to get on.
JASMINE: All right, I do this, assuming this is a thing we do very frequently.
ALEXANDER: Is going to lift and put you up to the hole.
JASMINE: I'm going to go and peek out at first and see, before fully climbing out, try to stealthily look around and see what I see as soon as I emerge from that hole.
BRENNAN: It's hard to describe how you're supposed to feel when you're looking at things that aren't supposed to make sense. What do you do if you see a miracle? What do you do if you see the effects of one without seeing the thing itself? Your head pops up. The western wall of Rybad-Kol is in tatters and ruins from some kind of concussive blast. You see the Steel Keep, which earlier you had served dinner in, is about two miles away on a mountainside, having been lifted up into the air and hurled through space. There is an area where the top parapet where Azmog is, there is a shadow of him stretching about three quarters of a mile out that looks like his shadow was permanently burned into the ground at an angle from something rising in the east. Like something looked at him from the edge of the sky and incinerated him so beyond the measure of what mortals are capable of that the only thing left is his shadow singed into the ground, At a far distant hillside, through the gaps in the western wall, you can see against a landscape, the familiar coiffed hair and ears of Azmog and two openings of wide eyes and an opening in silhouette of a wide mouth opened in horror blackened against the landscape. The briars that-- Towards the eastern-northeastern wall, the towers were torn down by briars. You see dead beasts like you've never seen before. There is a bear that when it had the ability to stand on its hind legs would've been about 30 feet tall with several dozen arrows in its body. You can see armor hanging from its teeth, it lies dead on the ground. There are prehistoric animals here from some other dawn of time. You see the field with crows, ravens, different corvids eating they carrion here. Where the people of Rybad-Kol are, you cannot say. You've spent a night down in the ruins underneath. You see the fallen walls. There are footprints in the dust and ash surging out from Rybad-Kol where hundreds or thousands have fled.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: There is no living soldier that you can see in this place.
JASMINE: All right.
BRENNAN: The last thing you see is some 80 feet tall, is some 80 feet tall, thudded deep into a stony mountainside, is a single iron greave, which is the name for the shin protection of armor. So someone whose to the knee was taller than a fire giant is gone, and there is a crackle of electricity across the sky as you see a chunk of a god's armor thud diagonally into a mountainside and stand there under the ash choked sky.
JASMINE: All right. I say: All right guys, come up. I think I've officially fucking lost it.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
CELIA: Okay.
ALEXANDER: Lost what?
JASMINE: (sighs)
MATT: It, my friend. It.
JASMINE: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
LIAM: As Erro climbs up and sees the devastation all around, asks: So why are we still here?
CELIA: We must have missed something. You said that that shadow was cast from something coming in the east? I can only think of one thing larger than a fire giant that rises from the east.
BRENNAN: Give me a religion check.
CELIA: (sighs) Six.
CELIA: Bless?
BRENNAN: Bless. Roll bless for me if you'd be so kind.
CELIA: What'd I say earlier?
ALEXANDER: Six.
CELIA: Six, nine.
BRENNAN: Nine. On a nine, I think, and this will be the final use of your Bless ability before it is gone. You think that the vampiric Lord Azmog finally saw the sunrise. You believe you are correct in your assumption.
CELIA: Yeah. I think Nia comes to that realization, shares it with her friends, digs in her pocket, kisses the locket, puts it back.
BRENNAN: No guards, no captors. Rubble and waste. Your freedom is yours. As your reward for your escape, ruin and ash choked wilderness. What do you do?
ALEXANDER: Where's everybody else?
JASMINE: I don't know. I mean, we were down there for a while. It seems like there's footsteps, I think--
ALEXANDER: No--
JASMINE: Oh, you mean the boys?
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
JASMINE: That's a good question. I don't know. Last I saw them, they were in the kitchens, but--
ALEXANDER: Oh.
JASMINE: They could go-- I'm guessing when all the shit went down, they probably just, you know, did the smart thing and booked it.
LIAM: It's not that we don't see the dark forces here. There's nothing living except for carrion birds in sight?
BRENNAN: This is your first greeting upon getting out here. It's been about 10 hours since everything went down. But it's possible that there are other people in your exact circumstance. You were resourceful enough to get out. There may be other people trapped here. It's hard to say. But certainly anyone who could has not waited a full 10 hours to get out.
ALEXANDER: Oh. Crokas turns. Have the children made it up to the top yet?
BRENNAN: Yes.
ALEXANDER: Okay. (laughs)
BRENNAN: You see that Celeste and Celdria looks around and goes, "Whoa! This is nuts."
CELIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: Celeste goes, "What could have happened? What did this?"
CELIA: The sun rose.
ALEXANDER: Does it do that? You know, when it rises?
CELIA: It can.
MATT: It can when it walks Exandria with a purpose.
ALEXANDER: Mm.
JASMINE: What does that mean? What happens?
MATT: What's been happening for centuries now. The gods came to clash. I saw him come. I saw the Emperor step forth, but maybe he was fleeing. Because whoever rose over there, the light of the Dawnfather. Gestures with his hand out to all the strange growth. Points to one of the flying fire bugs. The will of the Wildmother. Maybe our tides have turned for the moment.
JASMINE: Yeah.
LIAM: While the gods are at their play, we still have to survive.
MATT: For now we do. So we find survivors.
ALEXANDER: Right.
MATT: We get free from this hellscape. He grabs his hammer and grips it tight. And when we're safe, we rebuild.
JASMINE: But where do we go? Where?
LIAM: Let's find who we can and leave.
MATT: Worry about that tomorrow, but for now, we live.
JASMINE: All right, Crokas, come with me to the kitchen. We're going to try to find the rest of our gang.
ALEXANDER: Okay.
BRENNAN: As you fan out over the rubble, you guys can make any search check that you want. I will also say this, you awake hungry and thirsty.
JASMINE, MATT, and CELIA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You look around, it is a wild thing. I think, Nia, you feel that thundering in your chest from whatever that first rush of power was going. (huffs) Freedom. No water and no food. Freedom. No water and no food. Let's go ahead. I think for Fiedra and Crokas, you guys look for the rest of the Roaches.
JASMINE: Yes.
ALEXANDER: I'll help you and give you advantage on whatever check you make because this is not my strong--
BRENNAN: I'm going to say these are extremely consequential rolls. I am an impartial arbiter of the chaos visited upon Exandria by the gods.
JASMINE: Woof. All right. All right, all right.
BRENNAN: 10 gets you somebody. 15 gets you some buddies. 20 gets you everybody.
JASMINE: Okay.
BRENNAN: You have advantage.
JASMINE: Oh, advantage?
BRENNAN: Because Crokas is helping.
JASMINE: This is investigation?
BRENNAN: Yeah. What do you add to investigation?
JASMINE: Zero?
BRENNAN: Zero. All right. 10, 15, and 20, but you're rolling two dice.
LIAM and JASMINE: Oh no!
CELIA: Oh no.
BRENNAN: What'd you get? What'd you get?
JASMINE: I got a three and a six.
BRENNAN: Ooh, baby.
JASMINE: Oh no.
CELIA: Ooh, baby.
JASMINE: No!
ALEXANDER: This is where it all comes tumbling down.
LIAM: There's that pendulum swing.
CELIA: Yeah, there it is.
BRENNAN: There it is.
JASMINE: Goddamn it!
BRENNAN: Remember those fun NPCs from the first half?
JASMINE: Oh no, no.
BRENNAN: Oh boy.
JASMINE: Kephekedriel.
BRENNAN: Kephekedriel. We never found out what your freaking deal is.
JASMINE: We never found out what his deal is. We never found out if he's crazy or if he's just like that. Fuck!
MATT: Do we not find them or...
JASMINE: Now we'll never know.
MATT: -- do we?
JASMINE: Good question.
CELIA: Damn, Matt!
BRENNAN: I think on a three and a six, you go to the kitchens, and the kitchens are ruined. There's no hope of finding their body here. On a three and a six, you do not find them.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: But you were off doing a special dinner. Crokas was in a caravan. Did your boys just do what maybe you would've done and headed out or maybe no? Who knows? Maybe they looked for you for a long time. But regardless, you know that there is no one living in the kitchens.
JASMINE: Is there salvageable food in the kitchens at all?
BRENNAN: On a three and a six, there is no salvageable food in the kitchen.
JASMINE: Motherfucker. All right.
ALEXANDER: Who did this?
BRENNAN: Who else is making checks? I will say you do not find Kephekedriel, Otto, or Taveen's bodies.
JASMINE: Okay. All right.
LIAM: Erro is looking for two things. He is searching for where he was processed as a prisoner so that he can find his belongings and the map he spent decades crafting of Gwessar and he's keeping an eye out for water of any kind.
BRENNAN: So you're making an investigation check as well. 10 gets you one of those things. I'll ask you, what is dearest to Erro? (laughter)
BRENNAN: What is dearest to Erro? Is it the map or is it water?
MATT: Are you weakest at the shoulder or the elbow?
BRENNAN: (laughs)
CELIA: Oh my god. Never again. Don't go there. Nuh-uh.
BRENNAN: This is the campaign where finding a jug of water is the (agonized relief) "Fuck me!" Okay, so map is 10. Map and water is 15. Those are the two things you're searching for.
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: I'll say this, on a 20, you get that and you'll find all of your effects or belongings on a 20. Cool?
JASMINE: Roll better than that.
LIAM: Natural 20.
BRENNAN: No, you got to be fucking kidding me!
CELIA: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
MATT: (drumroll)
BRENNAN: Holy shit.
CELIA: Fuck the fucking pendulum!
MATT: I love that you just rolled it without looking at it, too. Bop.
BRENNAN: Holy shit.
ALEXANDER: Oh man.
BRENNAN: Erro. You-- (sighs and laughs) (laughter)
BRENNAN: Erro, you go up.
CELIA: I feel like I'm going to faint.
BRENNAN: Garen, it's quite close to where the Mop was, where the infirmary was, that place because the vault, we established it before, right? So I think Erro, with that tip, you head off. You are literally digging through stone with your hands. However, the vault was on an upper, they didn't want to leave it on the floor level with everybody where all the stuff was. So you're looking and immediately, you're going through rubble and you're finding some tattered scrolls or other things like that. As you begin to move through, you see a giant iron door now amongst the rubble, but a key to where the vault was. On that nat 20, as you begin to dig through, you hear squeaking down in the rubble.
LIAM: I follow the sound.
BRENNAN: Moving aside, you push and see a small, on a nat 20, a small group of mice pulling a traveler's rucksack. You know, they've got a small little group of about 10 of them pulling on a leather shoulder strap and you look down and see your bag. Rare herbs, sacred stones, things that a traveler would pick up in long travels over Gwessar. You see a scroll case, dented but secure.
LIAM: I squat down holding my bag in my hands looking at these mice. What is your mother playing at?
BRENNAN: The mice skitter away.
LIAM: Shoulders it.
BRENNAN: You shoulder it, you feel in your bag the heft of a full canteen of water. With that scroll case in there, on that nat 20, unreal. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Checking to make sure that everything is okay. Far to the north of Rybad-Kol and these lands were not well marked by you because to travel in these lands would've been certain death. But where your notes start to get more precise, where you have more experience traveling. Up closer, up farther north towards the very base of the Storm Point Mountains, you see that there is a tiny little skittering insect that takes wing and leaves a small phosphorescent glow at a point that you had never marked. But specifically in between two notes of yours, there's a pass in the bottom of the Storm Point Mountains that you had traveled there before. It's a safe place. In another lifetime, you and Donaea had walked that path many times.
LIAM: Here, today, one of these bugs alights there?
BRENNAN: Alights there, dances like a bumblebee, communicating something to members of its hive. As it departs in the same way that it left when all of you were bitten, a small phosphorescent glow, lights in that place leaving a small blot of ichor or ink.
LIAM: I feel emotions that I keep tucked away well up and I'm speechless and then slowly climb my way back down to find the group.
BRENNAN: You have your belongings. Nia.
CELIA: Do I see this sort of look on Erro's face? We've traveled before. I like to think that I know what Erro looks like when something has been drawn up in him.
BRENNAN: I think you do. But also during the time that Erro is searching, if you want to search for anything as well, you may.
CELIA: Oh yes, I do. I mean, if we found the Mop and we found the vault, I would love Nia to get her personal items. I think she wants the piece of crystal that she kept in her hair before she decided to take it out for her safety. She wants to find the wiring for that. She would love to find her bag, her cape, her things.
BRENNAN: Go ahead and give me an investigation roll.
CELIA: Who wants to play?
BRENNAN: Same thing. 10, 15, 20.
CELIA: All of you guys move.
ALEXANDER: You freak me out with how much dice are in your tray.
MATT: Make some space!
CELIA: Move! It's a 15. Oh, wait. Investigation?
BRENNAN: Investigation.
CELIA: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. 16.
BRENNAN: 16. Hell yeah. I think on a 10, you find your crystal and your effects. Is there anything else you would look for other than your personal belongings?
CELIA: The equivalent of a first aid kit. Things that she would be able to bring while we travel, bandages.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: Whatever the closest thing to antiseptic we have.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: She tries to build a traveling kit together of things and belongings.
BRENNAN: You get a medicine kit together traveling. Then, for Garen, is there anything you search for?
MATT: There's not much that's mine to even look for. But what I'm more curious about, honestly, amongst the bodies that we see littering this ruined landscape. I'm searching to see if they were seemingly all soldiers of the Emperor. If it was wanton and we were the lucky ones.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MATT: And trying to figure out if the majority of the tracks are from the areas that I know to be prisoner heavy. Basically, I want to know if we're going to be running into more Strife Emperor followers out there in the middle of this chaos.
BRENNAN: Yeah. Chaos is the name of the game. Go ahead and give me, and I'll say you can give me an investigation check, but there's also an insight check you're making here as well. So give me both of those rolls.
MATT: You got it. All right, so investigation. 17.
BRENNAN: Great.
MATT: Insight. 15.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
CELIA: Mm!
BRENNAN: I'll say this.
ALEXANDER: I'm staying over here with my bad rolls.
MATT: It comes for us all, man.
BRENNAN: I'll say this. 17 and 15 is incredible. On that investigation, you see almost all of the dead here are soldiers and in fact, there are fire-- You see there's a group of about six fire giants who were all struck with one bolt of lightning. They were all in a line, torso. Some bolt of lightning shredded them. A cauterized injury that tore torso and armor away like a knife moving through butter. There are prisoners here who were torn apart by fanged beasts who were otherwise killed or destroyed. There is an evidence here that much chaos happened. You also see beasts that clearly were decimated by wrath of some powerful god as well. On that investigation, this looks like an ambush. It looks like you saw the Strife Emperor walking in the distance and if a vampire was hit by the rays of the sun and lightning tore across the sky. The real handiwork here is thorn and vine and beast and bird. Something truly thunderous shook this place. There are very few dead prisoners. Now there are some, but nothing about this seems precise, and yet, if there were crumbling castles, there should be so many dead prisoners, and there's just not. There's just not. I think as you look, something interesting that you see is there's a moment of a (twittering). You see that some of the birds, carrion birds take off and fly towards you. As they do, that little bug bite glows for a second and you see a familiar green glow in their eye and it takes off. I think you wonder how long those mice and fleas were working in Rybad-Kol. Maybe they knew, maybe they knew who they were going after.
MATT: Is there a particular direction of the fleeing prisoner tracks or is it just kind of everywhere?
BRENNAN: Northeast, you think, away from the Strife Emperor stronghold as just a, "Flee away from what you know the center of power to be." But it doesn't appear to have that much rhyme or reason to it. I will say, too, on a 17 and 15, I will ask Garen because there are two good rolls. If you would rather find supplies or survivors.
MATT: I think for Garen, it'd be survivors. That's his trauma.
BRENNAN: Moving forward as fast as you can, I would like to do this. Digging through the rubble as fast as you can in the wreckage of the old Gauntlet. I think you know, because you were near the infirmary, I think you go near the infirmary as well and find those specifically that would've been not necessarily able to make an escape on foot even if they were spared. Go ahead and I want you to roll a d20 for me three times.
MATT: Okay.
MATT: Let me know if you get an 11 or higher on any of them.
LIAM: Just do three 20s, Matt.
MATT: First one's a nine. No. That is cocked. Curses because it was almost a natural 20. That's a 10.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
MATT: And a natural one.
BRENNAN: Natural one. Nice. Moving through, you are not able to find any of the Roaches here, but there are a few of the Torm's Hill traveling party. Moving in this place, on those rolls you don't find any of the more adventurous, magically gifted ones.
ALEXANDER: Good.
CELIA: Great.
MATT: Yeah, that's fine.
BRENNAN: Going through the rubble, getting the stone block off. Nia, I think you see this as well. You guys see this, too. There is an ancient old halfling man partially in the rubble who looks up and goes, "(coughing) I'm dead."
MATT: If only it was so easy.
BRENNAN: "(grunts) Oh, strong man." You see Starmian Fiddleflask, one of your traveling companions, a dust-covered older halfling man. Spending a night in the rubble has not been good for Starmian, but he comes up into your arms. You also pull from the wreckage here one last figure that you would recognize who was sick as well. But was mostly sick, I think, probably to get, Nia, closer to you again to try to stay close to your traveling companions. That is a bugbear that you pull out of the wreckage. You recognize this as Gond. Gond Gulfsome. "(coughs) (grunts) (huffs)"
CELIA: I think in seeing them, Nia, even though the situation's dire, she can't help but smile and run and hug them. Just to feel like somebody, some family survived. Not too tight on Starmian, though. He's very fragile.
BRENNAN: Coming together you guys return from the kitchen. I think Nia, you see Erro's face as he moves back forward in this space as Garen, you find these couple-- You see Starmian completely grayed out with rubble and dust. Gives you a hug and goes, "Rei'nia."
CELIA: Starmian.
BRENNAN: "Hello, hello!"
CELIA: Hello.
BRENNAN: "What's happened? We've died or we're alive?"
CELIA: No, we are alive. We are alive. We are figuring out our next steps, but you're not gone just yet.
BRENNAN: "I always say my favorite next steps are forward."
CELIA: (laughs)
MATT: Honestly, next steps should probably be shelter.
CELIA: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: And food.
CELIA: Erro, you okay?
LIAM: Yeah. We should cover some ground. Start as soon as we can.
CELIA: You have your map.
LIAM: I do.
BRENNAN: Looking behind you, Erro, at the rest of the group that comes up, the rest of the dragonborn are here as well. Which is Celeste and her two children, Coswald, and the last one you see here who has been dreadfully silent this entire time is Marlath, that bronze dragonborn who has just been quietly panicking, looking around. You see that he has basically made a point to say nothing.
ALEXANDER: Right.
LIAM: Is he about to lose it on us? Can I tell?
BRENNAN: Give me an insight check.
LIAM: Okay. That's pretty good. That is 18. No, that is 20. Dirty 20.
CELIA: Ooh.
BRENNAN: You see him looking stunned by the turn of fortune that has seen him free, but also no longer on his way to the Scaled Tyrant. And you see him looking at all of you digging around in rubble to find supplies and survivors, and on that dirty 20, you see the calculations of someone so opportunistic that they sold out their kin and kith for a chance at great fortune. He's not going for a knife, there's nothing like that here, but the dust has not yet settled in the wake of what is a bloody and gruesome miracle, and already some of your companions turn the wheels of their mind seeking advantage. That's what you see on his face.
LIAM: All right.
ALEXANDER: (growls)
LIAM: I walk past you and nod for you to bring your head down by mine.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
LIAM: Keep an eye on that one.
ALEXANDER: Okay.
LIAM: He's looking a little twitchy.
ALEXANDER: Ah.
BRENNAN: Coswald walks up to you and says, "Oi, mate, I'll see you for a second here," and pops the muzzle off of you.
ALEXANDER: (grunts) Opens his mouth very-- It's almost like a crocodile opening this large mouth. (exhales) Thank you. I appreciate it. (grunts)
BRENNAN: Starmian turns to you, Nia, and looks and says, "Well, you think that we need shelter?"
CELIA: Yes, I think we need shelter. Did you have any personal effects you wanted me to grab? Maybe find some more. I remember our little small infirmary pantry. Is there any food in there possibly? I know there wasn't any in the Slop, but I remember earlier, we mentioned there was small food sources in the Mop.
BRENNAN: I think Fiedra, you looking at that infirmary area where you found that stuff see the edge of where you got that original food from for the fine dinner upstairs. If you wouldn't give me an investigation check with advantage.
JASMINE: Okay, all right. If you can--
MATT: Let's go. Let's go.
CELIA: You got it, you got it.
MATT: Come on, come on.
CELIA: Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
JASMINE: It can't be worse than this. I am not going to jinx it. I'm not going to jinx it.
LIAM: I'm a boy with a knife in his hand. SAM: It's worse.
JASMINE: It's worse!
LIAM: It's worse.
BRENNAN: What is it?
JASMINE: A one and a three.
BRENNAN: Oh no! Fiedra--
CELIA: Can I look?
BRENNAN: You open it up and see about 300 mice all go (vwoop). From a completely empty larder.
JASMINE: Okay. Okay, wait, I do have a question. So, I do have Lucky.
BRENNAN: (gasps) So it's when you roll a one on a d20.
BRENNAN: Reroll that one.
JASMINE: So, do I? If that counts.
BRENNAN: You reroll that one. That's correct.
JASMINE: Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please, please.
LIAM: Yes, halfling, yes.
JASMINE: Ooh, that's better. 14.
BRENNAN: 14. There are no mice. You open the larder. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Redline that.
CELIA: Mice gone.
MATT: It's a weirdest vision.
CELIA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BRENNAN: You open-- On a 14, this is the fine dining larder for the well-to-do that have now all been sundered and destroyed. So your survival supplies are a bottle of a nice red-- (laughter)
BRENNAN: -- a wheel of very well-maintained cheese, it's about that big, and I think you also find in there a very small bottle of a glass bottle of fish roe. And this is what your band has to live off of.
JASMINE: All right.
CELIA: Gorgeous, gorgeous.
JASMINE: All right, I come back and I say, well, all my friends are dead, but look at what I got.
CELIA: Wine!
MATT: We don't know if they're dead. We just don't know where they are.
JASMINE: That's true. They're likely dead.
ALEXANDER: Oh.
MATT: Well, things to consider, too. Beyond just shelter, there's a lot of people out there scattered in largely those directions, probably as desperate, if not more than we are. And desperation can make for challenging crossroads. So just, we need to keep our eyes about us.
ALEXANDER: Not all of them could be prisoners either. Some may be guards.
MATT: Even those who are might have been half turned and anyone can do strange things on the edge of desperation, death.
ALEXANDER: Oh! And he leans down to Fiedra. That dragon over there, and he points to the one, that shifty one.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: There's a bronze dragon.
ALEXANDER: A bronze dragon.
BRENNAN: Bronze dragonborn, yeah.
ALEXANDER: I don't really know, but apparently he sold out some of us dragonborn--
JASMINE: Did he?
ALEXANDER: -- for payment.
JASMINE: All right.
ALEXANDER: So, we keep an eye on him.
JASMINE: Of course. You know what? Keep an eye on all of these people.
ALEXANDER: Okay.
JASMINE: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: Right.
JASMINE: You know? Garen's right. Desperation does strange things to even good people.
ALEXANDER: Garen's right, but keep an eye on Garen and everybody else. Got it.
JASMINE: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: (growls)
JASMINE: Good.
LIAM: I say we took a little more time and start.
MATT: Aye. How's the weather looking on the horizon?
BRENNAN: Go ahead, if you'd be so kind, and give me a-- I actually think this is not even perception. I think this is officially survival as you guys get your supplies and get ready to head out.
ALEXANDER: The check no one uses.
MATT: Yeah.
CELIA: Well.
BRENNAN: I would like a group survival check. But I'll say if one of you can beat a 15, that's good. If one of you can beat a 20, that's even better.
LIAM: This is aimed at winding our way out of here?
BRENNAN: Yeah, surveying the landscape, winding your way out of here.
LIAM: So, question. I have a trait, Wanderer. You have an excellent memory for maps and geography and you can always recall the general layout of terrain, settlements, and other features around you.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: So, I probably saw a lot of this hell as I rolled into it.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: Will that help me with this roll?
BRENNAN: Make a roll with advantage.
CELIA: Since I also have that feat, may I also roll with advantage?
BRENNAN: You may also roll with advantage.
LIAM: Yay!
CELIA: Thank you. Please.
ALEXANDER: 20.
BRENNAN: 20. Hell yeah.
CELIA: Jesus, math. 23.
BRENNAN: 23.
MATT: Ooh!
BRENNAN: Whoa, awesome.
CELIA: Plus five to survival.
MATT: 18.
BRENNAN: 18.
JASMINE: 13.
BRENNAN: Whoa.
LIAM: 22.
BRENNAN: 22?
CELIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: You guys survey out here. Erro, you feel the heft of that map. You guys-- I'll tell you what, these zero-th-level characters are fucking kicking ass. It's crazy. (laughter)
LIAM: Sorry, Vox Machina. Get good. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Incredible. I will ask at this moment, too, this is an exceptionally high group skill check, so I will leave it fully-- You get to the shattered wall outside of Rybad-Kol. There are some small settlements out here. These settlements are laid to waste. Whatever battle occurred out here between-- You see that there is a canyon carved into the landscape from some blast of a god's might that just leaves a whole village is gone, right? But you look out. Here in the distant night, you see ash and rubble even more so than most. There is volcanic activity everywhere. You also see something that did not exist here. There are streaks of forest. When I say streaks of forest, it's like if someone threw a hand out and had a line of trees grow 40 miles in an instant from where they pointed their hand. And then all of those trees are dead. So, you see that whatever happened when combat erupted between the gods, at the end of that, and you see the shattered armor-- I mean, at this point now the edge of the wall, you see scattered across the landscape pieces of the armor of the Strife Emperor whose body is nowhere to be seen. Wherever that being was sent in defeat, the armor scatters and remains here. You can't believe it. It's this bizarre landscape with streaks now of dead, leafless trees everywhere. And I think on this high group check, you immediately know the paths that non-survivalists would take. Roads leading to villages. You see those paths and you see that they are disrupted by lines of trees. You don't know what kind of chaos that would create necessarily. But these dead forests that now exist here that are already beginning to crumble into ash or ruin would create some chaos there. On that high roll, there are three possible pathways from here that it would occur to you to take. If you want to find other survivors, a dangerous proposition, follow the roads. That will bring you to people, but the state of those people and whether those people are loyal, or to whom, or what they seek to do in the midst of chaos, who knows? You also see that these lines of trees streak from a northern point. And though there is a strange and foreboding magic to them, they do provide cover to get north and get north quickly. Then the last thing is in some of the shattered villages, there is a chance to maybe tarry and spend more time, which could be not a good idea, but you know that those shattered villages will maybe have another chance to look for supplies, and water, and things like that. So, those are your three calls. Population centers, hit the trees and move quickly, or search in some of the shattered towns.
LIAM: Follow-up question. Is that second option, the one that goes through the trees to the north, for my map maker, is that the best direction toward the sign that I was shown on my map?
BRENNAN: I mean, if it's not literally straight as the crow flies, it's off by less than 10 degrees. For the cover it provides, it's an incredible opportunity to mostly stay on course.
LIAM: So, I think as the group is looking off in all directions at this insanity and a god's shinguard looking like the Statue of Liberty at the end of "Planet of the Apes"--
BRENNAN: (laughs)
LIAM: -- Erro is thinking of what he saw alone as he reclaimed his belongings and he's feeling the weight of a single waterskin and looking at their numbers.
BRENNAN: There are, I believe, 12 of you here. You have a family of three dragonborn, Coswald and Marlath, the five of you, Starmian, and Gond.
LIAM: Erro has lived on his own in wastes like this. On his own and it has been hard, and the higher the numbers, he knows the less likely survival is possible. So knowing that, he's going to turn back to this group. I think we have to take care of each other here. I'm going to suggest we head north, just us.
MATT: We're taking the roads though, right? We need to find others. We can't leave the vulnerable on their own.
ALEXANDER: (grunts) Weren't you saying finding others could be dangerous?
JASMINE: We're vulnerable.
MATT: It's meant to keep our eyes peeled, aye. But what's worse? Letting those that can't protect themselves become waste?
JASMINE: Look, they're going to have to learn how to protect themselves. That's the way this shit works. I know you don't like it, but... Erro's right. We have to take care of ourselves.
LIAM: This is nothing new. It's been happening for centuries.
MATT: And those who've endured it done so because they've stuck together, not just as individuals, but as communities.
CELIA: Realistically, what happens? We take the roads, we find people, they see what we have, they see our goods. They either welcome us with open arms and then we have more people to be responsible for or they kill us and take our things.
ALEXANDER: Right.
JASMINE: Exactly. Best case scenario, we have more mouths to feed.
MATT: I know many of those prisoners. I've listened to them talk. They have more diverse and effective skills than just cutting stone. Many are foragers, farmers.
CELIA: What is there to forage? Looking at this blasted landscape, what is there to farm? Erro, we-- Before they caught us, we were trying to get to somewhere. I say we keep going. We take the band that we have now, we do not abandon them. We do not abandon them. But I think we keep going.
LIAM: The reason our group wound up here is because of our numbers. We are too great already and something allowed for us to be breathing here. Now, I don't know how to explain it, but that same presence, god or otherwise, is telling me to head north.
MATT: Garen slowly turns the hammer in his tight grip around, not really looking up from it. We have two children among us, and many more children likely out there. We walk your path, but we come upon any little ones, we don't leave them. Aye?
LIAM: All right, friend.
MATT: What's the point in this all if there's no one left to build the future?
LIAM: That's my point exactly.
MATT: Good. Lead on, then.
LIAM: Erro rubs the scar on his neck and begins to trudge into the dead trees toward the north.
BRENNAN: You avoid the shattered towns and avoid the road. As you trudge, go ahead, I'm going to ask for a couple checks in a row.
MATT: (snickers)
ALEXANDER: Okay.
CELIA: Good, good.
BRENNAN: Good, good. The first thing I will ask for is a survival check is a survival check to maintain sustenance in this place. To stay fed enough after long, long days of walking.
MATT: Is this a group check or individual?
BRENNAN: This is a group check. So we're doing survival.
ALEXANDER: This is traveling for days? This is for all--
BRENNAN: This is traveling for days.
LIAM: Note the the back end of the Wanderer trait is you can find food and fresh water for yourself and up to five people each day, provided that the land offers berries, small game, water.
BRENNAN: This land does not.
LIAM: Okay. Okay.
BRENNAN: We are looking for the median roll here to be a 15 or higher. If the median roll is a 20 or higher, then we're all golden. If it's 15 or higher, then we are eking it out. If it's under that, we're in trouble. What did we get here?
MATT: 11.
BRENNAN: 11.
CELIA: 12.
BRENNAN: 12.
ALEXANDER: 16.
BRENNAN: 16.
JASMINE: 12.
BRENNAN: 12.
CELIA: No!
LIAM: 17.
BRENNAN: 17. You move through in this space. The first day of travel you arrive at the line of trees to the best of your ability. As you do, moving through dead trees, you see that your companions try to stick together here amongst the rotting vegetation. Starmian looks out and says, "Now, don't worry about lack of water, anything like that because, you wouldn't, I don't know if you children have seen it, but there was this, when I was a young boy, where I lived, we had this thing called rain. It would fall from the sky and it would-- With trees like this, I can't imagine that rain's not far away. Trees need rain as creatures need water. I have been here in the ash lands of the Strife Emperor for quite some time, but I've always kept a song in my heart to see rain again. I knew the day would come when I would, and I have a funny feeling that it's right around the corner."
CELIA: Mm-hmm.
JASMINE: I whisper to Crokas. I say: Look, things are getting pretty dire. I think we might have to eat this halfling man. (laughter)
CELIA: Oh!
JASMINE: Not now, but I'm just saying.
CELIA: Does Nia hear that?
JASMINE: Because he's clearly losing it.
LIAM: Are you describing our first night?
BRENNAN: This is your first night of traveling here.
JASMINE: I'm one night in, I'm already talking about eating people.
MATT: Yep. (laughter)
CELIA: Oh my god.
LIAM: All right.
MATT: Go off, Fiedra. Yeah.
CELIA: There's kids!
JASMINE: Yeah, just 24 hours and I'm like--
CELIA: You said, "Now who are we eating?"
JASMINE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: I think we're going to make it.
LIAM: This night and any night he can, Erro finds a place at the bottom of a rise, making sure there's ridges around. He gets down on all fours and starts pushing his hands along the earth. Because of the feat I took, starts to mold the earth up into a large bowl shape, almost like a little mini fort with a ringed-in wall. It's all soil piled up, which is a cantrip. Then also creates a-- It can be larger, but he creates a small, I don't want to broadcast us like a beacon across the landscape, a small bonfire. Lastly, out of his belongings, he pulls out an old, waxy, tight, shriveled up little pine cone.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: He sets it on the earth and rests his hands on it for a while and closes his eyes. It looks like he's meditating over it for a bit, and then relinquishes it. Sitting next to the fire, it starts to heat and pop. The little scales of the pine cone slowly start to open up, and he starts prying out seeds from inside the pine cone, which are now imbued with the qualities of the spell Goodberry. He begins to distribute the small amount of pine cone seeds to the people who are struggling the most in this little band.
BRENNAN: Incredible. You watch Erro with a practiced hand work this magic in this way. For all of the fear, you see that the two little kids get a bite of one of those seeds, can rest easy. Speaking for the first time that night as you're getting ready to bed down, Marlath, that bronze dragon, turns to look at you and goes, "That's some trick."
LIAM: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: "Very useful."
LIAM: What tricks do you know?
BRENNAN: "I was a harbor administrator, so I know how to keep a ledger book and manage the affairs of merchants."
JASMINE: I'm glad we brought you along.
BRENNAN and CELIA: (laugh)
LIAM: I learned everything I know while traveling. So if you keep your eyes and your ears open, you can learn as well.
BRENNAN: "Very good."
MATT: It'd be a shame to have to drag more dead weight. Garen just passes out by the fire. (laughter)
MATT: Exhaustion taking over.
CELIA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: That first day, on that failed survival check, that's your water and food.
BRENNAN: Okay.
CELIA: We still got wine and the cheese.
BRENNAN: Still got the wine and the cheese.
CELIA: Okay. Okay!
LIAM: (snatches bottle and gulps)
CELIA: No, no, no, no! (laughter)
JASMINE: That wasn't the wine, that was the fish eggs.
LIAM: Ah! (laughter)
ALEXANDER: Pouring roe in your mouth.
CELIA: Ew!
MATT: Ugh!
JASMINE: Chugging roe.
BRENNAN: Looking at your map--
MATT: It's the best boba.
BRENNAN: -- you think you're about--
MATT: We're aligned.
CELIA: We're right here. We are right here.
BRENNAN: Looking at the trees and how they travel, travel is slower going through this weird, ash-covered woodland. through this weird, ash-covered woodland. But it's giving you all advantage on stealth checks, such that while you travel in them, we don't even have to roll those group stealth checks. It's providing you cover from anything that would be searching for you, which is a whole other half of this that would be a very frightening element of traveling on open roads. You think it's about a week or maybe a little bit more getting through here. The next day, the red smudge arises overhead. I'm going to need another group survival check.
LIAM: Dang!
CELIA: Somebody else. Somebody kind, somebody good to me.
JASMINE: Come on.
CELIA: I'm going to keep that if I can.
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
CELIA: Wonderful.
BRENNAN: What's this?
MATT: Nine.
BRENNAN: Nine.
LIAM: Come on, man.
MATT: (laughs)
CELIA: 22.
BRENNAN: 22.
ALEXANDER: 10.
JASMINE: Six.
LIAM: Dirty 20.
BRENNAN: I'm going to need everybody here to make a constitution saving throw.
JASMINE: Oh no!
CELIA: Even those--
ALEXANDER: Natural 20.
CELIA: Thank you, god.
JASMINE: My minus one.
BRENNAN: Nat 20?
ALEXANDER: Yeah, there we go.
JASMINE: I'm going to use this-- Okay. I don't think I've used this d20 yet.
CELIA: Ooh! ♪ (cheerful hum) ♪
JASMINE: No fucking way. Six.
BRENNAN: Six, okay.
MATT: 10
BRENNAN: 10.
CELIA: 19.
ALEXANDER: That'd be a total of 22 with a natural 20.
LIAM: Five.
BRENNAN: Five. Okay. As you continue to travel, I will allow your Wanderer abilities-- Because we have two people with the Wanderer feat here. I think on your failed save, and what did you roll here?
CELIA: It was a 17 on the die. Con is plus-- What is--
MATT: Plus two.
CELIA: Plus two. Sorry, I said 22, that was wrong. 19.
BRENNAN: 19. Erro, your Wanderer feat means that you can get enough to avoid the worse effects of that constitution save. Garen, you're getting up there in years. On a 10, you take your first level of exhaustion.
MATT: (wheezing cough)
BRENNAN: Fiedra, you're getting hungry. You have shorter legs than everybody.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You've been walking a long time.
JASMINE: I'm carrying this big-ass wheel of cheese. It sucks.
BRENNAN: You've been carrying the cheese, it's kind of your cheese in a way. So the question I'll pose to you is, do you want to take that first level of exhaustion or do you want to--
LIAM: Convert the wheel into a unicycle. (laughter)
CELIA: Ride it around on the dirt?
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Or do you help yourself?
JASMINE: I-- You're doing fine, right? Food-wise?
ALEXANDER: I'm--
JASMINE: Constitution-wise?
ALEXANDER: Well, yeah. I have a natural 20, so I'm not looking.
JASMINE: Yeah. I am going to stealthily, as we're going, I say: You know, you guys keep going. I'm just, legs are getting a little tired. Don't wait up for me. As everyone goes in front of me, I'm going to stealthily eat a little bit of cheese.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
JASMINE: Yeah.
CELIA: Can I clock that with my passive perception?
BRENNAN: Give me a stealth check and give me a perception check.
CELIA: Wonderful.
JASMINE: 20.
ALEXANDER: (retches)
BRENNAN: 20.
CELIA: Not 20. Definitely a six.
ALEXANDER and JASMINE: (laugh)
BRENNAN: You, on a six--
CELIA: I have a passive perception of 18.
BRENNAN: Oh, you have a passive of 18. What was your stealth check?
JASMINE: 20.
BRENNAN: 20.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: So.
CELIA: Doesn't even matter.
BRENNAN: Overcomes it.
MATT: Secret cheese.
BRENNAN: Secret cheese. (laughter)
CELIA: Secret cheese.
JASMINE: Pocket cheese. (laughter)
BRENNAN: So, you help yourself and tuck into your remaining supplies. Several of your companions fail their constitution saves. Starmian fails his, getting very tired. You see also that Marlath begins to lag a little bit as well. Both kids fail theirs, too.
LIAM: Oh.
ALEXANDER: Can I-- I'm going to walk over, and I, huge, towering over the children, having really not spoken to them.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
ALEXANDER: They have they have ragged clothes on?
BRENNAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ALEXANDER: I'm going to pick them up by the back of their clothes and I put them on my back and I start on all fours, like a giant monitor lizard walking through with everybody as they ride.
BRENNAN: Ah, the kids will no longer have to make constitution saves for exhaustion.
JASMINE: More cheese for me. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Celeste openly weeps as you do this. She says, "Are you all right? You don't need any--?"
ALEXANDER: Fine.
JASMINE: This one's tough as nails. He'll be fine.
BRENNAN: "Thank you, thank you." I'm going to need another survival check from everybody. You are making good progress.
CELIA: I don't like the tone--
ALEXANDER: Natural 20.
CELIA: Yeah!
BRENNAN: Natural 20, hell yeah.
MATT: I have disadvantage--
BRENNAN: You have disadvantage.
MATT: -- because of my exhaustion.
BRENNAN: Yes, you do.
JASMINE: I've rolled so many sixes this game.
BRENNAN: What'd you get?
CELIA: Another survival?
MATT: Six.
BRENNAN: Six. Another survival.
CELIA: 21.
BRENNAN: 21, Nat 20.
ALEXANDER: Nat 20.
JASMINE: Six.
BRENNAN: Six.
LIAM: 15.
BRENNAN: 15. 15 is the median roll. No constitution checks that day.
JASMINE, CELIA, and LIAM: (cheering)
BRENNAN: Wending your way back over, there is a certain moment far off on the horizon where large flying shapes, (whoosh) duck out of the clouds for a second. (low growls) You see fiery wings in the distance, pursued by a shape like giant eagles and then are gone.
ALEXANDER: (Gollum) Wraiths on wings. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Strange events unfolding. Give me another group survival check.
ALEXANDER: Jesus.
CELIA: Roll something different
BRENNAN: Absolutely.
ALEXANDER: Who me?
CELIA: No, no, no.
JASMINE: I'm trying!
CELIA: No! (laughs)
ALEXANDER: Are you happy? I rolled an eight.
CELIA: No! That's not what I meant.
JASMINE: I also rolled an eight. No!
CELIA: No!
MATT: 15.
BRENNAN and CELIA: 15.
ALEXANDER: That's a total of 10.
MATT: With disadvantage.
BRENNAN: 10.
JASMINE: Eight.
BRENNAN: Eight.
LIAM: 10.
BRENNAN: 10. I'm going to need constitution--
ALEXANDER: Hell yeah. Let's go.
BRENNAN: -- saves for everybody. I'll need you to roll with disadvantage because you're carrying two kids on your back.
CELIA: Constitution.
JASMINE: Oh, that's a 10.
BRENNAN: 10.
MATT: 17.
BRENNAN: 17.
ALEXANDER: 12.
BRENNAN: 12.
CELIA: Con is 13.
BRENNAN: 13.
JASMINE: 10.
BRENNAN: 10.
LIAM: 11.
BRENNAN: 11. You are both going to take a level of exhaustion.
JASMINE: Okay, that's fair.
BRENNAN: Unless you want to eat all the remaining food.
ALEXANDER: Oh my god.
JASMINE: No. Wait, all the remaining food?
BRENNAN: All the remaining food.
JASMINE: Is what I'd have to do now. I'm not going to do that.
BRENNAN: Cool.
LIAM: Well, Goodberry, which is Good Pinecones for me--
BRENNAN: Good Pinecones.
LIAM: -- is a daily, it's a one a day.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: Can I circumvent that if I'm--
BRENNAN: If you're eating that yourself? It heals hit point damage.
LIAM: It does up to 10 for one hit point each.
BRENNAN: Up to 10 for one hit point each.
LIAM: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: So unfortunately, exhaustion is not hit point, it's not injury related.
LIAM: All right.
BRENNAN: So this is just about the exhaustion of the day in and day out.
LIAM: Okay.
ALEXANDER: It's an energy drink, not nourishment.
MATT: Yeah, I see that point.
LIAM: All right.
BRENNAN: So each of you take a level of exhaustion. Now have disadvantage on ability checks.
MATT: Someone can cast Greater Restoration here, right? I think we're good.
CELIA: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: Me. Yes, I'm the one.
MATT: Yeah, you would me.
CELIA: I think I have that in my healer's kit.
BRENNAN: This is day five. I'm going to need a survival check.
LIAM: Now it's at disadvantage.
BRENNAN: Now the three of you are rolling with disadvantage.
JASMINE: Disadvantage?
LIAM: Son of a--
JASMINE: Oh that's--
MATT: Four.
BRENNAN: Four.
CELIA: This is--
BRENNAN: Survival.
CELIA: Jesus, math. 23.
BRENNAN: 23.
ALEXANDER: 21.
BRENNAN: 21.
JASMINE: Eight.
BRENNAN: Eight.
LIAM: Natural one. (groaning)
CELIA: Can I-- I can't help you.
LIAM: You could give me a hug.
CELIA: Can I go give him a hug?
BRENNAN: Many of you feel your tongues beginning to split from where they root to your throat. You've been sucking down ash for days. Your eyes, they don't just sting, if you ever felt your eyes go numb. Getting through the woods is so challenging. You all fall probably once or twice every hour. Without any physical obstacle, just from the pressure of continuing to walk with no food and no water. The water in the canteen long since gone. You are making progress as fast as you can. I'm going to need constitution saves from everybody.
CELIA: From everybody?
BRENNAN: Yeah. It's a group survival.
ALEXANDER: Is this at disadvantage because I'm carrying?
BRENNAN: This is disadvantage because you're carrying.
JASMINE: This is also disadvantage for exhaustion?
BRENNAN: Not for exhaustion yet.
LIAM: Doesn't do saves yet.
JASMINE: Oh.
BRENNAN: Oh, I'm sorry. Your survival's at disadvantage, but you can make your con save normally.
ALEXANDER: Oh, great! (laughs)
LIAM: Right, because saves don't get hit by a level one of exhaustion?
BRENNAN: They don't get hit by level one.
MATT: Three is when saves are affected.
CELIA: Okay, I'll take that.
MATT: 20.
BRENNAN: 20!
CELIA: 16.
BRENNAN: 16.
ALEXANDER: 21.
BRENNAN: 21.
JASMINE: Five.
BRENNAN: Five.
LIAM: Natural 20.
BRENNAN: Natural 20.
MATT: Ooh! Okay.
BRENNAN: You see, Fiedra, your speed is halved with a 2nd-level of exhaustion. Coswald looks at you and says-- Sorry, you see Gond the bugbear look at you and say, "Sorry, do you want to jump on my back?"
JASMINE: I don't know if that'll help, but I could. Sure. I appreciate it. And I do.
BRENNAN: He picks you up on his back. The wastes stretch far away. Those of you who failed, take another level of exhaustion. Speed being halved means that the journey north is even longer.
MATT: Yeah.
BRENNAN: You hear shrieks of strange beasts out in the wilderness. How much death has visited this land in a short time? I'll need everyone here to make another survival check for me.
JASMINE: Oh! Oh!
CELIA: This is torturous.
ALEXANDER: So many survival checks.
LIAM: Natural 20 doesn't do anything to undo, right?
BRENNAN: Doesn't do anything to undo, no.
JASMINE: Please, I swear to fucking god, I swear to god you guys.
MATT: Five.
BRENNAN: Five.
CELIA: 16.
BRENNAN: 16.
ALEXANDER: 17 with disadvantage.
BRENNAN: 17 with disadvantage.
JASMINE: (gasps) I finally rolled good! 14.
BRENNAN: 14.
LIAM: 21.
BRENNAN: 21! Okay, wait. 21. What'd you get?
ALEXANDER: I got 17.
BRENNAN: 17. What'd you get here? Or sorry.
MATT: Five.
BRENNAN: Five.
CELIA: 16.
BRENNAN: 16. Okay. Successful day!
CELIA: Yeah!
JASMINE: (sigh of relief)
ALEXANDER: (laughs)
CELIA: Yes! (relieved laughter)
BRENNAN: You move forward and actually find a place. What you find here is, there is a beast. You've come far enough north in the land that there actually is a wild animal. You see that there is a fallen deer in this place that is a recent enough kill that it is at least food. Choking down this food in dry mouths is extremely challenging. There's still no fucking water. You can survive longer without food than you can without water. But it's at least something. You know that water is a pressing need. You need to find it. You need to find it soon. But this is a successful day. You can continue moving. I'm going to need another survival check right here.
CELIA: Could I put my ear to the ground or clock my locket to try and--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
CELIA: -- find the sounds of water?
BRENNAN: Yes, absolutely. Go for it. Give me a religion check.
CELIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: Let's go for the survival check first.
LIAM: 14.
BRENNAN: 14. What did we get here?
JASMINE: Four.
BRENNAN: Four.
JASMINE: I'm going to die out here, bro.
BRENNAN: Nat one?
LIAM: Woof!
ALEXANDER: I'm rolling with disadvantage.
MATT: Four.
ALEXANDER: I got an 18 and a one.
CELIA: Dirty 20!
BRENNAN: Dirty 20 on a religion check?
CELIA: Oh no. Dirty 20 on on survival.
BRENNAN: Or no, on the survival. Survival. Okay.
CELIA: I haven't gotten religion.
BRENNAN: Cool.
ALEXANDER: I got an 18 and a one. (laughs)
CELIA: Crushing. Crushing stuff.
MATT: Four, four, one. Yeah, that's probably a group--
CELIA: 20.
BRENNAN: Gond is struggling, the person who is carrying Fiedra--
JASMINE: Oh.
BRENNAN: -- now is struggling.
JASMINE: Yeah, let me-- I say: Gond, let me get down. You're--
BRENNAN: I'm going to need-- You try to get down.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: His speed is now also halved.
JASMINE: Yeah.
BRENNAN: On that 20, go ahead and give me a religion check.
CELIA: Religion. 12.
BRENNAN: On that survival check, you're not going to find water. You're traveling amongst trees in a dry landscape. That's where all the water is. It's in the trees. That's why you haven't found any. You're going to have to find water. Maybe you're far enough north, you're farther away from the volcanic activity to the south of here. You've been traveling for days. Your feet are cracked. All of you have hurt your limbs and feet in ways that will stay with you for the rest of your life. You will sustain injuries that will probably be with you until your very final day traveling in this level of exhaustion and delirium. It scrapes the inside of your eyelids to look left or right, you are so dried and hollowed out. You look over, Nia, realizing the reason you're not going to find water here is the trees have sucked it all up out of the ground. You're going to have to go farther afield.
CELIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: But that means going out into the open. What do you say as your beleaguered comrades look at yet another night where Erro prepares to make his goodberries just to make something to eat at this point?
CELIA: Nia, miraculously, has not taken any levels of exhaustion yet, or at all, ever.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
ALEXANDER: Good for you.
CELIA: Thank you. (laughter)
MATT: Just rub it in!
CELIA: She's going to manifest: She's never going to have to take a level of exhaustion.
JASMINE: Wow, love that for you.
CELIA: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what can you do? She looks to her friends and remembers what she said to Garen days ago. Change is coming. Change is coming. She pulls out her locket, cracks it open, looks at the picture of her sister, remembers that that is her north star, and that is what she's hoping for. She doesn't know who to, but she keeps it open, covers her hand over it, and just prays. Prays for guidance, prays for mercy. She probably thinks that she's talking to her sister, wherever she is. Asks her to wait and hold on and do her best to put her mind's eye towards the fact that we are coming and we are coming together, all of us.
BRENNAN: As you do that, I'm going to need those of you around Nia to make your constitution saving throw.
CELIA: Myself included?
BRENNAN: Yourself included.
MATT: 17.
BRENNAN: 17. Success.
ALEXANDER: 22.
BRENNAN: 22.
JASMINE: Ooh!
CELIA: (laughs)
MATT: Oh!
JASMINE: 14. 14.
BRENNAN: 14.
LIAM: 10.
BRENNAN: 10.
ALEXANDER: Sorry, 21.
BRENNAN: You take another level of exhaustion.
CELIA: Natural one, Brennan.
BRENNAN: Natural one.
CELIA: Yeah. I take a level, finally.
ALEXANDER: You're getting that level of exhaustion you said you weren't going to get?
CELIA: Yeah, that's what happens when I talk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happens. That's what happens.
BRENNAN: You remember your sister's face
BRENNAN: You remember your sister's face the last time you saw it. Crackling fire, a small little pocket of the world under all this ash where people were close enough to still find a little bit of comfort. God, to hold on to that joy of being with the people you love, while you can still taste the fear on the back of your tongue. She looked at you and said, "I'm going to head out. But we'll find each other again. If you can make it to Torm's Hill, that's where I'm going to come back to. There's a chance that Mom and Dad are still out there."
CELIA: We're going to find them. I'm going to meet you at Torm's Hill. It's going to be fine.
BRENNAN: "I know."
CELIA: I don't know where they are. I can't put my mind to where they could possibly be. I have you. You have me. We're all we need.
BRENNAN: "We're all we need." You come back from this place of prayer in this moment. If you're all you need, do you have her? She's not here. Maybe you don't have what you need. You feel the exhaustion set in, but you know that you're not going to find water in this forest. You see, as all the rest are bedded down here, one of the few that's awake is Starmian, who looks over at you and says, "You all right, Nia?"
CELIA: Yes. I'm fine, Starmian.
BRENNAN: "I know we haven't had water in a few days. Do you think we might find some soon?"
CELIA: Yes. We just have to get past all these trees. The trees have the water. The trees have the water.
BRENNAN: "Well. If you want, we could take a small dive out of this, because the forest is quite narrow. Maybe we could, we've been traveling for days, maybe we could leave the edge of the forest, just to see. I am very parched."
CELIA: You stay here. I'll take a peek.
BRENNAN: "I don't think so, not without some help." You see he takes a small letter opener out.
CELIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: "We have to stay together."
CELIA: Yes we do, Starmian. Yes we do.
BRENNAN: On that 20 survival check you made, it's not a far walk to get to the edge of the tree line and look out to see if there's some source or body of water you could find.
CELIA: I have darkvision, so I'm not going to go all the way up to the edge to reveal myself to whomstever may be witnessing.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
CELIA: I'm going to get close enough to still be concealed by the criss-crossings of trees.
BRENNAN: Yeah,
CELIA: But I can see 60 feet as if it were bright light. So maybe I--
BRENNAN: Go ahead, give me a survival check. Because you're trying to keep within that 60 feet, do it with disadvantage because you're trying to find it right next to you.
LIAM: Did you sneak away?
CELIA: (murmured babbles) I'm not trying to hide it, but I'm not trying to wake anyone. I think if this is in the night, I think Nia, she's exhausted, she's laboring getting up. It's probably a noisy exit, but she's not attempting to--
LIAM: I think with two levels of exhaustion, he's not sleeping well, and the same way I followed you a few months ago, he does the same thing.
CELIA: Okay.
LIAM: Hears you and rises and trails behind a bit.
BRENNAN: I'll say that any that wish to follow can in this moment as well, if your character-- Garen's just a log.
MATT: I'm sleeping. (laughs)
CELIA: Knocked out.
BRENNAN: Knocked out.
MATT: (snores)
JASMINE: Oh. I was going to say I'll take a peek, but I don't have darkvision, so I don't think I'd be any use here.
BRENNAN: It's nighttime, but--
LIAM: There is a fire. There is a fire.
BRENNAN: There's a fire.
LIAM: Erro's been making a bonfire.
JASMINE: Well there's a fire in our--
LIAM: In our area.
JASMINE: -- little camp area.
LIAM: Correct. It's not a torch.
JASMINE: So I wouldn't be able to see anything if I go with you guys.
JASMINE: I'll stay awake and keep an eye out for you guys to return, and if anything is, you know, danger, but--
CELIA: Nia takes her bag with her.
BRENNAN: You take your bag.
JASMINE: Damn it! (laughs)
BRENNAN: Erro, you follow behind. You arrive. Go ahead and give me a survival check with disadvantage to see if there is water within that 60 feet.
CELIA: (sighs) Seven plus, you said a--
BRENNAN: Survival.
CELIA: Survival. 12.
BRENNAN: You look, not within 60 feet, but there's dark clouds, dark, ashy wasteland. You see Starmian goes, "I don't think it would be right next to the forest, would it? Maybe if we, I know we can't see out there, but we must have a little faith, mustn't we, that things can improve?"
CELIA: Do I know if Starmian has darkvision?
BRENNAN: He doesn't. He's a little halfling.
CELIA: Okay.
JASMINE: (laughs)
CELIA: Because Erro and I have--
JASMINE: He's on vibes.
CELIA: Yeah, because Erro and I have done this dance before, I leave, he somehow follows, I'll look to Starmian. Can we see the fire from where we once were?
BRENNAN: Yeah, a little glow.
CELIA: I'm going to say: Starmian, you can't see, and I know you can't see. So how about you go back and me and my shadow, cocking her head back to where she believes Erro is, we'll press forward.
BRENNAN: "Are you sure you don't need my help?"
CELIA: Wherever that letter opener was--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
CELIA: -- she takes it, folds it in his fist, and says: You're precious cargo. You stay back.
BRENNAN: "I'll make my way back to the campfire."
CELIA: How many levels of exhaustion has Starmian taken?
BRENNAN: Starmian was in the infirmary when this adventure started. You think Starmian is about to maybe make a very significant constitution saving throw.
CELIA: Okay. Nia--
MATT: (exhales)
ALEXANDER: (exhales)
CELIA: (groans) Nia's a nurse. She knows what this looks like. She's going to take the letter opener from him. Is he carrying anything besides-- He's just an old man with a letter opener? He doesn't have a bag or extra stuff?
BRENNAN: He's a prisoner.
CELIA: Yeah, she's going to take his letter opener. She's going to hold his hands so tight and remember his face, every wrinkle. She doesn't know if she's ever going to see him again. So she takes this "weapon" and sends him on his way.
BRENNAN: As you take it, he looks at you, looks back at the walk to the fire. Erro, you're very nearby and see him in this moment. You see he looks at the walk back to the fire and goes, "Do you think there might be water closer by? I just want to feel it again with my hand. It's been a long time since I felt the rain."
CELIA: (sighs) Nia goes into her pocket, pulls out the locket, opens it, and leans in to show Starmian. She goes: If the rain never comes, we make our own. This is my rain. Go find yours. And... she presses on. she presses on.
BRENNAN: You press on. Erro, do you follow?
LIAM: Presses on out into the dark?
CELIA: Yeah.
LIAM: I do--
CELIA: With this letter opener.
LIAM: -- but as I watch--
MATT: It's pretty sharp.
CELIA: Yeah.
LIAM: -- Starmian slouch his way back to the fire, I think of-- I've lived through weeks like this at least seven or eight times in my life, and I have seen Starmian's arc play out many, many, many, many times, and push and pull between (sighs) giving up hope and just living to live. And believing in something more has been a teeter-totter for him his whole life, which has tended to lean towards the more survival-oriented life. And watches the old man settle down. Then he coughs a bit, his chest rattles, and he turns and follows Nia into the dark.
BRENNAN: In that moment that you hesitate just for a second to watch Starmian, he takes a step, holds his side, gets down on one knee, lies down on the ground, looks up and meets your gaze for a moment. "I'll find it. Maybe it's waiting there on the other side." The light leaves.
LIAM: I replay Nia's voice in my head saying to Garen, "Change is coming." Which reminds me of someone else from a long time ago. I nod my head at Starmian and head out to dark.
BRENNAN: Nia, you take first one step, then the other, exhausted, out into the darkness. Trees behind you. You hear Erro's footsteps approaching. Ash and waste, it's hard to see out here. Just wish, holding onto that locket that there was any light at all to see.
CELIA: We have darkvision.
ALEXANDER: Not so far.
BRENNAN: For 60 feet, but past that to see the landscape, to see if there's something.
CELIA: Understood.
BRENNAN: After your first few faltering steps, you're not more than 20 yards from where you started, you look up, (lighting zapping) lightning illuminates the landscape and the rain starts to fall.
CELIA: Nia doesn't dare look behind her, but she knows that Starmian made the rain.
BRENNAN: The plains are illuminated by lightning. (lightning zapping) All of you sleeping by the fire, the fire begins to sputter and-- there are no leaves on the trees to protect you so (rain pouring) you come to--
MATT: (chuckles)
BRENNAN: The kids open their mouths up to the rainwater falling and you immediately, Erro and Nia, watch and look down. Thankfully, you're on a ridge right now. Chaos, just like a landscape, every time it's illuminated, you see fields of ash suddenly picked up by water that can't sink into the oily charcoal ground, and (water rushing) floods deep down underneath. Waves of ash and debris moving through a landscape, (water splashing) but water in your eyes, getting the dust off your skin, in between your scales, the grime. For the first time you can move your hands again. It's not choked in your knuckles by ash. Distantly, moving across the landscape, light, (whooshing) you see a colossus. 300 feet tall, (inhales) moving across the land. Skin like lightning, and ice, and marble, blue clouds. Massive, brawny shoulders. Beard and hair of endless fog, and cloud, and vapor. It is shocking and horrifying to watch as he illuminates the nighttime landscape. But the Lord of Storms walks across this land surveying as the rain falls in this choked place. Each step (footstep thuds) with thunder. Those of you in the woods can see the light towards the east of something moving across the land. The Stormlord. (distant thudding footsteps) Rain falls down his own titanic shoulders. As he looks, bringing life and water, this cleansing rain to this place. Do any of you move to the forest's edge to behold this?
ALEXANDER: I'll move out there. Just seeing the light.
JASMINE: I'll go, too.
BRENNAN: Fiedra--
JASMINE: Yeah?
BRENNAN: -- you look and see, limp and soaked, his eyes staring straight ahead, unable to feel the rain on his face is Starmian's body looking out.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
JASMINE: What do you think happened to Nia and Erro? They were with him.
ALEXANDER: Don't know.
JASMINE: Take a bit more of a look, and keep going to that, closer to the edge.
BRENNAN: There's a rise, maybe 30 or 40 yards away, not far.
ALEXANDER: I'll pick him up as we go.
BRENNAN: You pick up Starmian. Your group arrives at this ridge, and you behold a god walking across the landscape. His countenance, grave and sorrowful.
CELIA: Nia drops to her feet. Not onto to her feet, Jesus, to her knees. Palms cupping the water, not looking at the god before her, but looking at the water pooling in her hands. I don't even think she realizes she's saying it out loud, but is saying: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
LIAM: Erro is watching the god stride across the landscape and he's holding his open skin out to slowly collect water, and just mutters briefly: Give and take, and take, and take, and give and take.
BRENNAN: You feel the weight growing in your hand. The god continues to stride. Do you all watch in silence in this moment and allow the god to pass? Or do any, raise a voice or seek to be seen by the divine in this moment?
ALEXANDER: I think Crokas maybe he hears people talk about gods and I don't think he understands what that is or if that correlates to what people refer to as gods, and I don't think he understands what he's looking at.
BRENNAN: You behold this being, and I think everyone else knows what they're seeing, and so stays in their own moment of thankfulness for the water, or lost in thought and memory. Crokas, you gaze directly at this being, unaware of what it even is. From across a landscape, a towering colossus turns with eyes of lightning and meets your gaze directly. (purring inhale) (lightning booms)
ALEXANDER: Shoot.
BRENNAN: (chuckles) Speaking with a voice of thunder that you feel rumble in your chest, "Are you afraid?"
ALEXANDER: He puts Starmy down on the ground.
CELIA: (chuckles)
ALEXANDER: Y-y-yes.
BRENNAN: "Will you flee?"
ALEXANDER: Would it help?
BRENNAN: (laughs) (sighs) "You are tired--"
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
BRENNAN: "-- from carrying yourself?" You see that both of the little kids turn up to look at you in this moment who have been riding your back for days.
CELIA: (chuckles)
BRENNAN: "It is your own weight or the weight of another that has tired you so?"
ALEXANDER: (grunts) He looks down at the kids and (grunts).
BRENNAN: "That is what strength is for."
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
BRENNAN: (inhales and blows) Lightning crackles out from him. Mist surges up from the ground around you. "We are leaving. Forever."
ALEXANDER: Okay.
BRENNAN: "You witness the final miracles. You will need to be strong. You will need to stand and lift up those who cannot lift themselves. Our age of doing so is at an end. I hope you will be strong." The Lord of Storms turns and begins his northward march across the plane.
JASMINE: Did all of us hear that, or just Crokas?
BRENNAN: All of you heard that.
JASMINE: Oh, we all heard.
CELIA: Okay.
ALEXANDER: He saw us. Should we go? I don't know who that is.
BRENNAN: As the mist clears at your feet, you see that there is a thick leather belt with two clasps of dragon ivory at the buckle on the ground at your feet.
ALEXANDER: Pick it up. (grunts) Belt.
JASMINE: It's a gift? I think maybe from the gods.
ALEXANDER: Is that a god?
BRENNAN: (chuckles)
JASMINE: I can't explain it, but I-- I don't know what else it could be.
ALEXANDER: (grunts) Wild. He just picks up the belt. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Picks up the belt. Looking out, there's a crackle of lightning as the colossus moves behind a range of mountains and vanishes from this place. Starmian's body, lies amongst you.
ALEXANDER: (grunts)
BRENNAN: Your companions lower their heads. Crokas, you hold a gift, but more than that, you have all heard the words spoken. These are the last days where miracles like this will be seen. As the rain falls, your sudden boon of life-giving water now threatens you with chill and cold. Give and take.
ALEXANDER: (huffs)
BRENNAN: You will need to find shelter and quickly. The road to safety is never guaranteed and you have only yourselves to rely on. That's all for this episode of ExU Divergence. (sighing)
JASMINE: Oh.
BRENNAN: We'll see you all next week.
CELIA: Aftercare time.
BRENNAN: Aftercare time.
CELIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: And of course-- as I always remember: Is it Thursday yet?
ALEXANDER: There it is, we did it. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Remember it every time. You can't say I don't. We'll see you all next week. Take care.
MATT: (chuckles)
Cooldown[]
ALEXANDER: That was crazy.
CELIA: My goodness me.
LIAM: Let me tell you something: If you give a halfling the name Starmian Fiddleflask, that old man's going to die.
BRENNAN: He's going to die. He's toast, baby! What, he's an optimist? Dog, he's a goner!
CELIA: Brennan's giving him soft old man voice.
BRENNAN: Soft.
CELIA: He's not long for this world.
BRENNAN: Not long for this world.
JASMINE: Oh, he has a simple dream that he wants to fulfill? Oh no, oh no.
CELIA: He's a goner. That poor sweet fool.
BRENNAN: He's fucking gone!
ALEXANDER: Like a god to look at someone who can't comprehend it and go, "Hey, information."
CELIA: I'm so glad. I'm like: Please say that we all hear this, because if I ask Crokas, what was he talking to the god about?
ALEXANDER: He'd be like: (uncertain grunting)
JASMINE: I don't know. He's leaving.
BRENNAN: The Stormgirdle, one of the Vestiges of Divergence that has not yet appeared--
ALEXANDER: Oh, shit!
JASMINE: Oh, shit, you got a fucking Vestige?!
BRENNAN: --on the show.
CELIA: New god drop.
MATT: (laughing) I was like, "I know this."
BRENNAN: "I know this one."
ALEXANDER: I'm going to use it to belt the kids to me, and that's it.
JASMINE: Does that mean the kids get super strong? The kids get really buff?
LIAM: You turned it into a Björn?
ALEXANDER: I just turn it into a Björn.
MATT: It's a Storm Björn?
CELIA: Storm Björn!
BRENNAN: I am the Storm Björn, Daddy Storm!
ALEXANDER: Yeah, this is me becoming whatever, the movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and children.
BRENNAN: I am the Storm Björn, Daddy Storm! I love that the Stormlord would look at someone who's like, "What the fuck are you?" and be like, "This is my fucking boy. This is my guy."
JASMINE: My sweet baby boy.
BRENNAN: "He's got no idea who I am. I love this energy."
ALEXANDER: Honestly I love when someone has no idea who I am.
CELIA: Yes!
BRENNAN: This dum-dum carries kids and has no idea.
LIAM: (as the Stormlord) This night was fucking wild. Take a Vestige!
BRENNAN: That's for you, buddy.
MATT: What Vestige can we make out of Starmian? That's my question.
ALEXANDER: Yeah. If I slammed the belt and Starmian together really hard...
CELIA: No!
ALEXANDER: If I just like, boom!
JASMINE: Use his skull as the buckle.
MATT: The Starmian girdle? Yeah.
CELIA: Part of me was like-- in Starmian's final moments, I was like: Is Nia going to put Starmian down? Like is Nia going to--
MATT: When you said you took the-- I was like--
LIAM: Yeah, yep.
CELIA: No, no. That's why I was like, No, no, no. I take the letter opener, and I stab him!
MATT: Like, "Shhh..."
JASMINE: You have to open the eternal letter.
CELIA: A part of me was like, I'm going to hug him so hard that I crack a couple bones and kill him, but--
LIAM: I've read "The Road". I know how it works.
ALEXANDER: "I'm a nurse so I know where to cut."
CELIA: No, I was like, I'm going to let him... Brennan's going to knock him off. Let me not even try to beat him to the punch.
BRENNAN: No, no, this dude's toast. He's a goner.
LIAM: He's a 90-year-old in the infirmary.
MATT: Should have taken the roads. (shrugs)
ALEXANDER: Then I wouldn't have a cool belt!
CELIA: Yeah, then we wouldn't have the Daddy Storm Björn.
BRENNAN: I love that path chosen. It's basically like, "Take the roads and find a bunch of freaky freaks trying to make civilization in the immediate aftermath of this." or "Go and have the hardest hike of your life." I love the freakiness of impending death and doom. Just of like, "Oh my god, maybe I'll die from just walking too hard. I walked too hard and now I'm dead."
MATT: I've always wanted to role play "The Oregon Trail".
ALEXANDER: Dysentery's coming.
MATT: Hitting just right. Yeah. That's episode three-- don't spoil it.
ALEXANDER: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Cut that.
JASMINE: EXU: Dysentery.
MATT: Hell yeah!
LIAM: It is real bad here.
CELIA: Many ideas. Many ideas.
JASMINE: Genuinely, I felt so powerless because I'm like, "There's nothing I fucking can do." So I'm just going to keep rolling these d20s and they're going to keep coming up with sixes and then I'm going to take more levels of exhaustion. And it's like, there's really-- I genuinely started feeling hopeless.
ALEXANDER: I haven't played a dumbass in a long time and I had so many ideas where I was like... "Nope." He wouldn't know how to do that.
MATT: Your own sin-eater.
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
CELIA: I don't know if you can tell us this, but what was the roots thing? Was that the same-- Part of Nia's brain wanted to see if those roots were the same as that one root that you grabbed earlier.
BRENNAN: Yes.
MATT: That's what I picked up on, too.
LIAM: That was a scout root.
BRENNAN: Scout root coming in. So the mice and roots and all that other stuff-- In the lore of the Strife Emperor when he goes down in the Calamity, his main adversary is the Wildmother. So he's a lawful evil god of tyranny and conquest and oppression. And the very "life finds a way" Wildmother's literally breaking the mortar in the castle of evil order.
LIAM: Yeah, it was great building on what you and Taliesin put together in Downfall.
BRENNAN: Yes. Yeah, very much. Like Asha in Downfall having that thing of the vermin and the bugs and rats moving through the city, where it's like, yeah, you cannot create an order that life cannot slip through.
MATT: There's nothing you can build that nature won't eventually take down.
LIAM: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Yeah, totally. So those roots were the original assault of the Wildmother on that space. You guys having that realization essentially of saving yourself, getting into the Wandering Walls, hiding from the soldiers that were there, and then basically being trapped in that aftermath of the Strife Emperor being destroyed by the other gods. And now being like-- Because that's the funny thing is in these grand things of "The Gods Versus the Gods", it's like, "Okay, you defeated the Strife Emperor. I'm in a volcanic ashland."
CELIA: What now?
BRENNAN: What now? What do we do now?
ALEXANDER: Thanks, I guess.
MATT: It's a great example of the true aftermath of the Calamity. Like in any war, it's the climactic battle ends, but you still, once that wash of victory completes its path, it's the realization of like: Well, we're still in a bombed out hellscape and have to rebuild and survive. It reminded me of this old-- what was the episode called? An old Twilight Zone episode of this gentleman who wanted to read his book but never had time.
ALEXANDER and JASMINE: Yeah, yeah.
MATT: He ends up sneaking into a bank vault where he worked to try and just get some time alone, and that's when the nuclear bombs hit. And he emerges in his bombed out town and it's just him. He's the only survivor and it's just peering through the aftermath that he just happened to be barely hidden from.
LIAM: Also, with war, you've got these great powers who are like-- everything's so important to them and they clash and there's all this fallout, but the majority of people are like, "I'm just trying to raise my two kids in the middle of all this. Do we have to?"
CELIA: Can y'all just hold on for a second?
BRENNAN: God, I just need to-- I need to hold on here. Within the context of this-- So we have this freaky Rybad-Kol prison thing of starting at-- It's so bad. It's the worst it could possibly-- God, these guys are so terrible and bad. And there's a certain degree of... not "Out of the frying pan into the fire," but like, "Out of terrible order into chaos."
ALEXANDER: Like an uncaring chaos that just--
CELIA: Out of the frying pan and into a different, hotter frying pan.
BRENNAN: So with your characters having gotten out of here, do you guys have a feeling for your characters? Like if you are able to survive the immediacy of the physical task of making it through this wasteland all together, what is the dream at this point? I actually love that conversation that you all had. Immediately where Garen was like, "Well, if it's not saving the people, then what the fuck are we doing?" Like "If it's not finding survivors and trying to make this work, what is the point?" Do you think your characters are-- Where are they on the spectrum of "With my freedom, I wish to do this." Versus, "It's one foot in front of the other, baby. There's no fucking plan. What do you mean, what's the plan?" Where do you guys find your characters on that spectrum?
JASMINE: I think Fiedra especially had a really tough time throughout that entire forest excursion. I think at this point, she is fully "one foot in front of the other." This fucked her up real bad.
ALEXANDER: I think Crokas is just realizing that he's gone from-- He was in a city, got captured, moved to a prison... He's encountering this wilderness that's been hard but he's just been going. And then he watched this giant thing make rain and then give him a belt. He's just like, "I don't know what's happening anymore." He has no concept of how the world works anymore. So he's just kind of looking at everything going, "(uncertainly) Uh..." He's looking at everybody around him who also seems to not know what's happening, so he can't-- He's like, "No one has the answer here."
MATT: This "Mr. Bean" remake is really weird.
ALEXANDER: Yeah, it's like if Mr. Bean was a dragon, just going (confused noise).
BRENNAN: First of all, "Mr. Bean as a dragon" they should make, and that's number one. That's really special.
CELIA: Get on it.
MATT: I mean, done.
BRENNAN: I loved all of the interactions that you guys had doing your sneaky thing. I cannot believe the rolls you guys had in the first half of that episode. You clubbing that guard to death with that hammer.
MATT: That shouldn't have worked.
BRENNAN: But it did. My god.
MATT: And then when it counted, we rolled like shit. That's the game, baby.
ALEXANDER: The one thing you have is strength. Pry open this gate. "Hhnnn!"
MATT: That's how it goes.
BRENNAN: But you punched through it at the end.
ALEXANDER: I did, I did.
BRENNAN: Beautiful.
ALEXANDER: My beautiful punch.
BRENNAN: There were a lot of moments of starting to see the push and pull of-- Literally the moment you guys get out of the rubble, it's like, "Oh, shit, now we have to make choices about what to do." That really was delightful for me. I enjoyed that quite a bit.
MATT: I'm curious to see how that evolves. Especially when survival-- hopefully, survival stops becoming the most preeminent.
ALEXANDER: I can't believe I did as well as I did on the survival rolls. Because I don't have anything in that. I just rolled well.
CELIA: All them 20s.
JASMINE: The Storm Lord watching you.
ALEXANDER: I live in the city. I don't know how to survive in the woods.
LIAM: I think Erro is still in the survivalist end of the spectrum after this. I haven't delved into who these people are in the past too much, but his life has been unmade so many times already, and magical things just happened around him in the last 24 hours, but there was also little sense to it. They watched so many people die because of it. Amazing, intriguing things happened, but it all came with a high cost. So it's still just again and again and again in this world, in the Calamity, it's bad here. It's just, there's so much fallout from what these gods are doing to each other and to us. Like we can't sit here and figure out what or why. All you can do is try to hold up the people immediately around you and try to live through it.
BRENNAN: Well, shit. But I think that is the... I don't know. That's the heroic story to me, that idea of "Things are as bad as they can be. Oh my god, a degree of chaos. Let me get as many people as I physically can take care of and take care of them. And as you watch, specifically, too, the idea of these great forces moving upon the world, and how for the average person living in the Calamity, it's like, "What do I have immediate power over?" Well, the Strife Emperor's just been blasted to pieces because of forces moving beyond my beck and call. I can find my map." That nat 20 was so insane.
MATT: That was so good.
CELIA: So amazing.
BRENNAN: I can find my map and we can look out at the rubble and go, "That will keep us hidden. We go north." That idea of-- there's an echo between that tiny little scout root, it was a little whisper of a thing and being like, "Okay. We have one canteen of water, and we have us, and we're going to head north." And when we come back, we may be in a surprisingly different place. So tune in next week, and thanks for watching. We'll see you all then.
JASMINE: Whoo!
BRENNAN: Take care and farewell!