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Critical Role Wiki
Critical Role Wiki

List of Transcripts


MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

TRAVIS: (garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: That's new.

LIAM: Got to mix it up.

MATT: Yeah, sure. Because we go into tonight's session, we have some quick announcements to get through, beginning with our wondrous sponsors since the beginning of Campaign Two, our friends at D&D Beyond.

TRAVIS: ♪ D&D Beyond. ♪

MATT: Sam? (drumming)


MARISHA: He's got latex gloves on, so it's not working. Do you need help, do you need help?


MATT: Stop doing it at the same time!

LAURA: It's not going, Sam, okay, okay.

MARISHA: (Reading Sam's iPad scroll) Don't be blue. Use D&D Beyond. (drumming) Find out more at (drumming)

LIAM: Thanks to D&D Beyond--

MARISHA: Just got to [inaudible]. For continuing... (drumming) to... (drumming) Support.. (drumming) the show. (drumming) Now... Marshmallows!

LAURA: What?!

TRAVIS: You go first.

MARISHA: Don't--


Be blue, use D&D Beyond. Find out more (laughter) at role.


(cheering and applause)

TRAVIS: How is that possible?


MATT: When you're a man with a mouth as large as Sam's, anything's possible. Okay.

LAURA: You won't be able to talk until you take that stuff off. Okay.

TRAVIS: Okay, that's--

MARISHA: If you choke, give us the universal--

LIAM: Can you say chubby bunny?

MATT: All right, thank you, Sam, and thank you, friends at D&D Beyond for encouraging him, week to week.


Check it out, it's an online tool for making your D&D characters and campaigns and stuff. It's fun, they're awesome. All right, Marisha, you've got some announcements.


MATT: Go clean yourself up, Sam.

LAURA: Yeah, go, go.



Speaking of content, Pub Draw is back.


Yeah, Pub Draw, woo!

LIAM: Good stuff, good stuff.

MARISHA: You get to join Babs Tarr and I each week, Wednesday afternoons at 5:00pm on our Twitch channel. Our first guest yesterday was Mica Burton.

TRAVIS: So great.

MARISHA: And she was so great and awesome--

LIAM: I heard that it was Mica.

MARISHA: Yes, yeah--

TRAVIS: Formica.

MARISHA: And Way-com, as well. Yes, instead of Wacom. Babs is a good host. (laughs) No, she's an awesome teacher, come check it out if you want to learn how to draw, or brush up on your drawing skills and draw along with us. Next week is going to be Laura, back on the hot seat because she's so good. So we had to drag her back. And then the big daddy, this Friday, our four-part miniseries, featuring Brian W. Foster and a few of us here from Critical Role and a few guests, UnDeadwood is airing Friday, October 18th at 7:00pm, and then of course the VOD will be immediately up for Twitch.

LAURA: Are you going to take the rest off? Okay.


MARISHA: And it'll be on YouTube, yeah, it'll be on YouTube.

TRAVIS: I'm so ready.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) Seriously, though, you should check out UnDeadwood, it's--

TRAVIS: It's going to be pretty fucking sweet.

MARISHA: It's going to be awesome.

LIAM: Freaky and solemn.

MARISHA: And please validate the blood, sweat, and tears that has gone into that, please watch.

MATT: They've been busting their ass on this.

LIAM: Many people have been busting ass, yeah.

MATT: So come check it out.

MARISHA: The production crew has really outdone themselves on that one, so check it out.

MATT: Awesome.

MARISHA: Well, that's it for me.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Back to you now.

MATT: I came to my station today and found two adorable photos of our own Taliesin Jaffe.


MATT: And Ashley Johnson.


MATT: I don't know why they were here, but I felt it was important for me to share.


TRAVIS: Ashley and Jean-Claude Van Damme!

MATT: You thought they only grew into it. No, they were always this cute, anyway, that's enough of that, thank you, whoever put that at my station today. A heads up for you guys who missed previously, the collected edition of our first six-issue run of Vox Machina: Origins through Dark Horse Comics is now available, like right now, at your local comic book shops and retail stores, and it's paperback, collective edition. Finally, we managed to make that happen. The standard edition hardcover exclusive is also now available in both the UK and US stores at the Critical Role online shops. So check it out there if you're looking to get a copy. Laura.

LAURA: Yeah?

MATT: You've got something to talk about.

LAURA: (accented) I do, well, they have things available in the store this week that you should check out.


MATT: (inaudible in same accent as Laura)

LAURA: We've got this, speaking of Pub Draw, look at this! It's a Pub Draw pencil case, slash brush case, slash dice holder, slash makeup case, which I heard you guys say, which was brilliant, designed by our very own Aaron Monroy, which it's just the most beautiful thing ever. Follow your art heart. And then we've also got.

MARISHA: Oh, shit!

LAURA: A set of cards for UnDeadwood, and I kind of don't want to pull them out and show them off because the art is so beautiful that I want it to be a surprise.

MARISHA: Yeah, and it'll look, it'll look good. We want to do it justice.

LAURA: Cards.


LAURA: Check them out in our store, yeah.

TRAVIS: ♪ (The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly theme) ♪

MATT: Fantastic, thank you, Laura.

LAURA: Oh, wait, I should say that the cards were designed by Kent Davis, who is phenomenal, and he's been a Critter for a very long time, and we love him so very much.

LIAM: @iDrawBagman

MARISHA: Yes. He did a character art, it's so good.

MATT: He did.

TRAVIS: It's so good.

MATT: All right, wonderful folks, I guess with all that said, it's time to jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.


(water bubbling) (thunder rumbles) (explosion) ♪ Role, Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Roll the dice, roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins, they were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends and the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware, 'cause you're 'bout to be dead ♪ ♪ They've got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands ♪ ♪ Take a chance, roll the dice, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn, your turn, your turn ♪ ♪ To roll ♪

Part I[]

MATT: The last time, hey, guys, welcome back.

MARISHA: I love him now.

MATT: You guys killed him! Sorry, they just found out that it was called a froghemoth from last week.

LIAM: Froghemoth.

MATT: So last we left off, The Mighty Nein, discovering that there had been an absence of paths to success after a series of failures to try and stop Obann and his plan towards whatever nefarious scheme he has that involves the Angel of Irons. You returned to Nicodranas to begin to gather the allies you did have, discovering that Yussa, the archmage that resides there, and you had had some previous dealings with, has gone missing, seemingly finding himself traveling into the Heirloom Sphere that you had given to him.

LAURA: Happy Fun Ball.

MATT: I almost went Happy Fun Ball, but that's you guys' thing. The Heirloom Sphere, AKA the Folding Halls of Halas.

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: Happy Fun Ball.

TRAVIS: I've forgotten both of those things.

MATT: Yeah, it's great. (laughter) Who needs lore? (laughter) Anyway, the servant, Wensforth, of Yussa, requiring aid after three weeks that his master's been missing without any sort of confirmation, communication, or seeming signs of his return, asked you guys for permission to call in an ally. Through his own anxiety, you agreed to allow him to do so, and he called in a female wizard in her, it would be early, mid 50s from a far-off land called Tal'Dorei, known as Arcanist Allura Vysoren.

LIAM: What a boss.

MATT: With your help, you began to put together the pieces of what had happened and what was necessary, which was, somebody had to delve into this sphere. As it is also referred to by some as the Archmage Bane, Allura is well aware of the dangers of herself going in there, and decided to let you guys take care of this venture, and she would remain with a magical item that allowed you to communicate a few times a day, should you have any questions, or needed some correspondence between the two of you. Going back into the puzzle ball, Caleb managed to unlock, straight away, a means into this sphere's folding halls. You began to make your way from room to room, venturing to a location known as the Garden, where you had encountered some sort of terrifying froghemoth, which they now know, and various frog-like humanoids that seem to be gathered around it in its presence. You managed to slaughter most of them, defeat the creature after it swallowed two of you, watched its body sink beneath the waters of the pond that it seemed to be awaiting in, and begin to find out where you can pass next. With a few different doorways or paths at your disposal, you climbed up the edge of the mountain that existed in the Garden, and plunged into the cavern there, as you realized, some sort of construct seemed to be following you.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, that's right, I forgot about the construct.

TRAVIS: The big fuck off--

MARISHA: Go home, guy--

MATT: Welcome back.

LIAM: You can't even tell you were wearing anything.

LAURA: Ever, what, it looks like your skin is off of your head right here--

TRAVIS: It looks like you got really drunk on a transatlantic flight, and then puked in that airplane toilet.


LAURA: What's happening with your, did you have an allergic reaction to the spirit gum?

SAM: There was spirit gum, and I tried to use the spirit gum remover, which is acid, and that hurt a lot, so I stopped.

MATT: Don't use spirit gum, use Pros-Aide, what's wrong with--

SAM: I don't know what that is.

MATT: I'm going to have a conversation with you after this.

SAM: But now there's, my half, my face has spirit gum on it.

MATT: Yay. (claps)

MARISHA: Yeah. It looks like you're just coming from Electric Daisy Carnival.

SAM: Thanks to Dani Carr, for the makeup help.

MATT: Yeah!

SAM: And to no one for helping me get out of the makeup.


MATT: You're welcome. (laughter)

LAURA: Didn't I say that last week, when you were all taped up like you were? I walked in the bathroom, and he had put the bandages on himself, and he had taped his hand completely--

SAM: This is embarrassing.

LAURA: Completely shut, and his fingers were turning purple. He had no way to get out of it, because his other arm was in a bandage, too. I had to go find scissors and cut him out of it because he was going to lose his fucking fingers.

SAM: That checks out.

LIAM: You've got glittery paste across your forehead.

TRAVIS: You look like you just came out of the birth canal.


SAM: D&D Beyond.



LAURA: So. (clears throat)

MATT: After you had all ventured through this tunnel.

SAM: We're ready.

MATT: Children? As you ventured through this tunnel and found yourselves transitioning into this next chamber within the many, many folding halls, you emerged on some sort of a rock and metallic lip, overlooking a rolling, chaotic sky on all sides of burning purple clouds and storms flashing bits of occasional purplish blue lightning in the distance, as little chunks of rock began to slowly rotate and float, some close, some far off. Glancing up and down, you can see that you were on the outside lip of some extensive tower built of rock, stone, metal, and gears in some ways and shapes. You see it shifting in places, you hear the metal grinding and pushing, echoing throughout the atmosphere around you, and the tower seems to curve away, and then downward as well, like it's bending before it fades into the mist of the distance. And that was where we left off. So Mighty Nein, you all emerge here, the wind beginning to whip your hair around. Glancing out of this expanse before you, about 10 to 15 feet before you were to tumble off the edge into whatever oblivion awaits you. What do you wish to do?

SAM: What's this place called, Caleb? From the map, what does it say?

LAURA: It's called the Tower.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Is there any passage on any other side of the tower that we can see from here?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Allura is watching from the mirror. Can you see all these things floating around? Are there things floating around?

MATT: There are, there are various sized pieces of rock. You see two collide and shatter, and other pieces about 700, 800 feet off to one side, some of them are moving at faster speeds, some slower, some closer, some further.

LAURA: I'm thinking of the Omega 13.

MATT: Yeah, there you go.

TRAVIS: Why is this here?

MATT: 19, all right. You do notice a faint green-blue halo around a circular doorway, about 150 feet up the tower from your current position. You can see the edges spiral a bit, like the lip that you're on seems to curve up the side of the tower, and about maybe two spirals upward, you see a faint bit of a green-blue glow. Because the curvature of the tower, you can just barely see the top of the doorway that it's emanating from.

LIAM: I'm sorry, the lip we're on continues walkably?

MATT: Yes, or from what you can see. You only have a visual range of what's--

SAM: Is it steps, or just a slope?

MATT: It's a slope.

TRAVIS: Just because I'm a glutton for punishment, can I walk to the edge and see what down looks like?

MATT: Yeah, so you walk to the edge and glance down.



MATT: And you can see the gradual curvature of the tower. It's like staring down at something that begins to bend, and your sense of direction, upon looking over the lip, begins to drift a bit, and vertigo begins to take you for a second. You find yourself going on your hands and knees, just to hold onto something as up, down, left, right begins to make less and less sense. You pull back a bit after staring down into that void, and it's just the tower, and you can see that spiral lip, but in some places, it's broken. In some places, it's just gears in place of it. The tower itself seems to bend and shift in strange ways. It's not just a straight, solid tower. It doesn't seem to follow the general laws of physics that you're used to seeing on a material plane.

LAURA: I grab the back of Fjord's armor, just so he doesn't fall forward.

TRAVIS: Thank you, it's rather disorienting. Below is terrible, perhaps we should go up and forward?

SAM: Is that the only direction?

LAURA: Well, I think any direction, we could go, but I don't know how safe it would be.

MARISHA: I'm going to glance--

MATT: It continues down, and you can go either way, either curving upward, or to the right, I mean, it's going further down.

MARISHA: Can I look down and see if I, I'm going to creep to the edge, do that thing you do on the edge of a cliff, and see if I can spot anything in the down direction.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Okay. Just did that.

MARISHA: Oh, is it, well, I fucking failed anyway.


MATT: You would have made a perception check as well.

LAURA: I grab the back of Beau's shirt, too, just so she doesn't fall forward either, because I'm already doing that for Fjord, because he just did that.

TRAVIS: 20. 18 plus two.

MATT: 21?


MATT: 20.


MATT: Okay, you do notice, about 200 or so feet downwards, there are a series of rocks that are rotating. A lot of these you can see are orbiting around the tower at wider and shorter orbits, as well at different speeds. There's one about 250 or so feet down that has a structure on it, with a very faint, I want to say, a faint purplish glow that emanates from it.

LIAM: I don't know how reliable direction is on this map, it's not traditional, but there is maybe a down, and maybe up, somewhat.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Just so we're all clear, down isn't the worst thing in the world.

LIAM: It says Arcane Armory.

SAM: There could be weapons for us to pilfer and steal there, or borrow or whatever.

LIAM: Or to kill us, but it is certainly interesting.

LAURA: Allura's still on the mirror?

MATT: Allura is, yeah, she's looking out, as you're facing it outward.

LAURA: Allura, do you think in the Arcane Armory, there would be things for us to take? Or do you think it would be like dangerous things that we should stay clear of?

MATT: "Yes, I think, yes."

LAURA: Cool.

MARISHA: To which one? Yes to both?

MATT: "Yes to both. I don't know, if this is an arcane armory for an archmage as powerful as Halas was, who build all of this, of course he'd have things to protect himself, things he's gathered in time and things to defend the things that he's gathered, as well. Everything here is trapped to some degree, I'm certain of it, that's why I didn't go in. You're already doing better than I would have, so congratulations."

LIAM: Yeah, well, we know he had a comparable library, so it stands to reason that he has a vault.

MARISHA: Which has probably been pillaged, as well.

TALIESIN: Possibly, or he marked that it was there, and walked off.

SAM: Well, yeah, Yussa doesn't have much, much use for weapons and stuff, maybe--

TRAVIS: So the door above has a bluish hue, this one has a purplish hue. If there's a chromatic range, probably is further down.

TALIESIN: Ah, that's very clever.

LAURA: That's one way to think of it. Oh, yeah, and maybe if we keep going up the tower, we'll find a red door eventually.

TRAVIS: Just because shit is orbiting, I gave a little jump, do I, is gravity the same?

MATT: It is. It's interesting, you jump, and when you land, you land at a slight angle. It's like the further away from the tower you go, the gravity is more angled away from the tower. On the lip, it holds you vertically, but leaping outward, it seems to pull you back this way.

TRAVIS: Cool, very cool.

TALIESIN: This is a lot.

LAURA: Which way, up or down, up or down? I'm afraid that if we stay here too long, one of those things is going to come after us.

TRAVIS: That's true.

SAM: Half of us go up, and half go down.

TRAVIS: Inclinations, votes?

LAURA: I don't like it.

TRAVIS: Gut instincts?

LIAM: Down.


MARISHA: Start down, we could always make our way back up.

TRAVIS: Hopefully. It's 200 feet down. Is there a path from the same way down as there is up?

MATT: Yeah, if you turn to the right, it continues to rotate downward.

SAM: Sure, yeah, yeah, odds are we're going to have to go to both, so.

TALIESIN: I'm a little out of my depth, I'm following. This is a lot.

MARISHA: Down it is.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

LAURA: We're going down, Allura.

MATT: "Very well, good luck, please be careful. Gravity seems to be strange here, just as time is, so--"

LAURA: How are we talking right now? Are things moving really slow around you, or--

MATT: "It's very difficult for me. You are talking extremely slow."

LAURA: Weird. (very fast) So if I talk like this, do I sound like I'm talking like a normal speed?

MATT: "No, a very slow drunk person."

LAURA: Oh, well.

MATT: "But it's curious, at least, it seems to be manifesting strangely on my side. That's very disturbing. Amusing, but disturbing, yes, it seems to be dilating the length of the enchantment on my side, as well. Don't do that, please."

LAURA: Okay, we'll--

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh, that's pretty great. I guess we'll call you back when we find something else that's interesting or dangerous or life threatening.

MATT: (crashing)

TALIESIN: Remember that time--

LAURA: Oh, run! Which way is it coming from?

MATT: You guys are just on the lip, and the doorway behind you, you can see a stone hand, and a clawed hand come out.

LAURA: Oh, no, no, we're going to get trapped going down and we will never get back up.

LIAM: It's right down the side.

MATT: It's about a 10 to 15-foot lip, so it's not super precarious.

LIAM: Not doing that though.

LAURA: I think we should move quickly.

MARISHA: Move faster, Caleb.

LAURA: Move fast, so that he doesn't see which direction we went, go, go, go, go.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I just grab Caleb's arm and drag him with me as I run.

MATT: Okay. You guys continue rushing downward, hearing the sounds of this thing emerge from the doorway behind you.

LAURA: Oh, god.

MATT: Heading downward, you glance off the side a bit, and you can see more of these floating islands and bits of rock. They're not heavily clustered, but there's a handful of them that are visible, and occasionally shifting out of view, past the opposite side of the tower.

LAURA: Do any look jump-able from the lip?

MATT: Where you are right now?

LAURA: Just in case.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: That inflection says, "Death is--"

LAURA: Nine.

MATT: Nine. At the moment, you don't see anything of that kind. You guys go rushing down, jumping, or running along the sides. There's a flash of purple light not far off, a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky from one of these wispy clouds to another. You shield your eyes for a moment, and continue downward, as the rumbles continue to tear through the vicinity. You come around the edge, and it looks like a giant set of gears now block the path where you're at. One's moving faster than the other, and every time it snaps into place, you hear a metal. (metal creaking)

SAM: Oh god.

LAURA: Is it the way, we have to jump from one gear, like try to time it to where we don't get smooshed, and jump over--

MATT: That's up to you guys.

MARISHA: Platformer style?

MATT: What are you guys going to do? It blocks your path.

MARISHA: Is there gaps when it rotates?

TRAVIS: Can you see through the space?

MATT: No, one of the gears is about four and a half, five feet high, and a heavier one that's not actually intersecting with that one, but is overlapped, or it is overlapping one behind it that is a wide, 20-foot radius gear that is half emerging out the side of the tower.

LIAM: So completely blocking the passage.

MATT: Completely blocking the passage.

LAURA: So we could grab onto one and potentially ride it up?

MATT: Potentially.

MARISHA: I'll try it.

LAURA: Does it look like there's one that it would be less life threatening to do that with? Like--

SAM: The one on top.

MATT: From current point of visibility? There's the four and a half foot one that only a quarter of it is emerging, it's right there, and then the one behind it is much larger, and goes much higher into the tower.

LAURA: It is going up?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Then we should jump onto the one going up.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: And then just try to--

SAM: Ride it all the way around?

LAURA: Well, where we don't get squished, but yeah, and jump on at the right time.

MATT: Okay, because only half of it is emerging, it looks like a buzzsaw that's halfway put into a tree. So it's partially obscured by the tower.

TRAVIS: Not the imagery we needed.

LIAM: So if we were to ride it up, we would just ride it to a high place, and then--

MATT: Before it mashes you into its space into the tower.

MARISHA: But then we could theoretically jump over.

MATT: Yeah, you'd be 30 feet up when you do that.

MARISHA: I'm good at this shit, let me, I've got Feather Fall and shit, not Feather Fall, but.

MATT: You have safe fall.

MARISHA: Slow Fall.

MATT: Slow Fall, okay.

MARISHA: So let me see, let me get up in here.

TALIESIN: Guidance.

SAM: Are you sure you don't want some help?

TRAVIS: I have the whip out, too.

MARISHA: I think I'm--

MATT: You can hear the louder footsteps of this entity getting closer. It's just above the lip, you can hear its heavy footfalls hitting the metal atop of you, it'll be down here in probably less than a minute. What are you doing?

LAURA: Oh god. We should all just jump on. We just got to jump, all of us just jump on a gear.

MARISHA: I'll go, and I can maybe try and help catch people? I'm just, I'm going to go first.

MATT: Okay, so Beau, you leap up, go ahead and make, for just a straight jump, make an athletics check.

LIAM: Cocked.


LIAM: Cocked.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

TALIESIN: Plus a d4.


SAM: Whoa.

MATT: You wait for the moment, and you leap, and catch yourself about one foot from where, you can now see, there's the two gears overlapping, as you catch the lower part of the gear, and try and wrap your fingers around part of the lip, which has a slight groove cut into it. You grab onto it and look at the opposite side of this. There's about 14 other different sets of gears, different speeds, that are all whirring into each other, and it's just a massive machine. If you were to fall into there, it would eat you. So you catch yourself, and start being lifted up on that side.

MARISHA: I think we're going to need another way, another way, we've got to find another way.

SAM: Come down here, come down here.

MARISHA: I'm going to drop and back flip off of the forefront one.

TRAVIS: Approximately what's the distance across that gear hell fuck--

MATT: It's about 10 feet or so of that.

MARISHA: 10 feet.

MATT: 10 feet.

LAURA: We could potentially jump it, but--

SAM: Or fly? Some of you can fly?

LAURA: We can Polymorph.

MATT: What are you doing? You jump back to where everyone is, or are you still holding on?

MARISHA: How much time do I have to hold on before I'm fucked?

MATT: You're now about halfway up, and 10 seconds, another 10 seconds before--

MARISHA: What are we deciding, 10 seconds. I can also just drop and do this again, I guess.

LAURA: I'm Polymorphing into a giant owl, and I'm grabbing up Nott and Caduceus--

MARISHA: I'm going to jump, I've got a little bit of a gap before the hell, mechanical hell pit, right?

MATT: No, the hell pit begins right after the gear that you're on. You couldn't see it because it was blocking it until you got up there, and you look down and saw it, yeah. But you got 10-foot distance before the rest of the lip continues.

SAM: Jump it, Beau!

MATT: What are you doing, you're at the top now.

MARISHA: I will--

MATT: As time slows, in the brief moment, as you make this decision--

MARISHA: I have a thing for this.

LAURA: I've already polymorphed, and I'm flying around the other side.

MARISHA: I am going to do--

MATT: Roll an initiative check for me, this is just--

LIAM: I go over to Fjord, say: Don't mind me. And I jump onto his back, piggyback style, and turn into a giant eagle, using my transmutation ability that doesn't use a spell slot.

MATT: Okay, make an initiative check, as well.

LAURA: 20 for me.

LIAM: Nine.

MATT: Nine, okay. You Polymorph and grab who?

LAURA: Nott and Caduceus.

MATT: Nott and Caduceus.

LAURA: Because one's big, one's little.

MATT: You grab them and whoosh off of the side, and as you curl up off the edge, it's strange, as soon as you get up, the gravity shifts a bit, and you're flung to the side. As you get about 15 or so feet away from the tower, there is low gravity. It seems to almost--

TALIESIN: Guidance.

MATT: You immediately start getting super discombobulated, and your flight pattern gets to flap around a bit. You go to cast it, and it doesn't work. You see the creature emerging, its face, this large sigil of glowing blue, where the rest of it's just featureless, stone void with metallic bits beneath, facing your direction, this faint blue glow. You go to cast the spell, and nothing happens.

LIAM: That means I'm just piggybacking you right now.

TRAVIS: That's fair.

MARISHA: I am going to think for a second.

TRAVIS: To who?

LAURA: Use it on the other side and then retract it, and you can go across it with the whip.

TRAVIS: Yeah, myself.

LAURA: You've got Caleb on your back.

TRAVIS: Who do you think I am?

MATT: Beau, what are you doing?

MARISHA: I'm casting Step of the Wind. I'm going to spend a ki point and cast Step of the Wind, and my jump distance is doubled for the turn. So I'm going to do Step of the Wind, I'm going to swing around to the other side of the gear.

MATT: Right as it reaches the top point.

MARISHA: Kind of, and I'm going to wait for the apex.

MATT: It's right there already.

MARISHA: And then, like a swimmer vaulting off of a pool, I'm going to jump and do like a half turn flip gymnast shit.

MATT: You've got it, right as the lip begins to catch, and you can see in that brief instant, there's just enough of a gap to catch your hand, and then pull you in and mash you into whatever insides of the tower awaiting you, and then at the last minute, you jump off, swivel, back flip, arms spread, keeping yourself as aerodynamic as possible.

MARISHA: Three quarter turn.

MATT: Right. As you turn, the gravity shifts in mid-air, right as you push off and begin to find yourself rushing toward the tower. Your feet catch the edge of the tower, and you push off, and gravity catches you, right as you hit towards the bottom, and you land on the lip of the opposite side.

SAM: One of us will live.

MATT: You, (wings flapping) flap and land over on the opposite side.

SAM: It worked.

LAURA and SAM: (sighs of relief)

MATT: What are you guys doing?

LAURA: Yeah, I dropped them--

LIAM: How fast is time moving here? I'll cast again if I can.

MATT: Okay, what do you cast?

LIAM: Fly on the two of us, 4th-level, so we both fly.

MATT: It doesn't work.

LIAM: Oh, no, okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, there's no magic here. Fuck it.

MATT: You get the sense here, as you go to do it, there's nothing. It's not like the spell fails, there is no magic.

TRAVIS: That fucking golem.

MATT: And there's just that faint blue light, emitting in your direction.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Now it's going to go ahead and make an attack against you, Caleb.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh, shit, golem's here.

MATT: That's a 23 to hit.

LIAM: Hits.

SAM: So is it Fjord and Caleb against the golem right now?

MATT: Currently, yes, oh, sorry. Caleb, you take 13 points of bludgeoning damage, and I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18, okay. You watch as it has one large, hulking fist. That pulls back, and you're waiting for this to come towards you, instead, the clawed hand goes right for your throat. It grabs and wraps around, and it crushes your windpipe for a second, and you hear something in it's moving, and you manage to slip yourself out right as it clamps into place. And you're free. It's going to make its second attack. It's going to attempt to bludgeon you, since you're the one that's most, with the other fist, it goes forward, right towards your chest, Fjord, that is going to be a 31 to hit.

TRAVIS: Is that a three-one?

MATT: Three-one, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, yeah.

MATT: Rolled really well.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it did.

TALIESIN: I hope so.

TRAVIS: That sort of removes any suspicion of staying and fighting this thing--

MATT: 22 points of bludgeoning damage.


TALIESIN: This is why we took a rest.

MATT: That's it. It rears its arms back once more. You can see the claw in its hand rotate, click into place to where it was previously, and preparing itself. You go ahead and roll initiative now that you're in this moment here.


MATT: Okay, you have not gone yet, so you get to take your turn.

TRAVIS: Okay, I'm going to take out the dispelling stone, and I'm going to throw it as hard as I can into its glowing blue face.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Holy fuck.

MATT: You chuck it at its face. (crashing) The stone just looks like a dull rock when you threw it.

TRAVIS: Cool. (laughter) Right, right, cool, yeah. Cool, I'm jumping on the gear, and I'm running to the gear.

MATT: Okay, and you're holding on?

LIAM: Holding on?

MATT: To Fjord, still, on his back?

LIAM: For sure.

MATT: Okay. New round of combat, you turn and start rushing towards the gear, it begins lunging behind you. It's going to reach up and attempt to grab you by the back of the throat. Caleb, actually, no, because Caleb, you're on his back, so it's going to go for yours.

LAURA: Did we get any initiative on the other side?

MATT: You guys have just landed, and you don't even know what's happening on the other end.

LAURA: Okay, but we saw him coming up, we saw the golem coming up.

MATT: You saw him approaching quickly.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: After this round, I will say that you noticed that they haven't followed suit yet. So after this next round because this is all happening very quickly. It's going to attempt to attack you from behind. That is going to be a 23 to hit.

LIAM: Ja, natürlich.

MATT: All right, you take 11 points of bludgeoning damage, and make another dexterity saving throw.


LIAM: So that's... 15, does that fail?

MATT: That does.

LIAM: I'll use the ring of evasion, a charge to succeed instead.

MATT: Okay, as it clamps around your throat, you can see now where the two parts of the claw snap together, two smaller little rings whir around it, and close it around your throat. You invoke the ring, and for a split second, you feel your bones become gelatinous, and you squeeze yourself out from inside. The magic then releasing you, and it's a little uncomfortable, but you are free from its claw. You can now see, as it pulls its hand back, the collar that it attempted to affix to your neck just tumbles off the side, and into the void. Where its arm was, you watch as it, well, for now, that's what you see. It's going to attempt to punch you in the back, because you're currently what's in its way. That's going to be a 28 to hit.

LIAM: Ja, I think so.

MARISHA: Ring of evasion.

LAURA: I know, the ring of evasion. So things on our body are, maybe, not dispelled--

MARISHA: Are fine?

TRAVIS: I don't know. I don't even want to ask.

MATT: Actually, no, you have the ring of evasion.

LIAM: So it failed, so it's got--

MATT: So in that brief, thank you for the reminder, then.

LAURA: Shit.

LIAM: Thanks, Laura.

MATT: So in that brief minute, where you're like, "This would have been cool if it worked," the alternate reality, as you're now, you're used to looking into weird realities with dunamancy, you're like, "That would have been cool," Back in this moment. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The old Sherlock Holmes.

MATT: The collar.

LAURA: If you were wearing it, maybe it didn't--

LIAM: No, I want to see what happens.

MATT: The collar snaps closed around your throat, and then you get punched, and that's your turn. Now, that's its turn, you guys both go at the same time, what do you--

LIAM: Same amount of damage, correct?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Am I fastened to the thing?

MATT: No, the claw actually, or the collar detaches, and it just stays around your neck.

LAURA: You have a collar on your neck.

MATT: Like a metallic collar.

TRAVIS: Is it free, attached to a wire, is he still holding it? It's just a collar around--

MATT: Just a collar around his neck, and it's free.

TRAVIS: Metal?

MATT: It's metal.

TRAVIS: Color?

MATT: Kind of like a dull, steel-brushed silver.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)


MATT: What are you guys doing?

LAURA: Get the fuck away, keep going.

LIAM: Scrambling up into the gears.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Are we there?

MATT: So you're helping him. Go ahead and make an athletics check with advantage, because Caleb's helping you.

LAURA: Caleb's holding on real tight.

TRAVIS: Go on, you can do it, Fjord, you've got to climb it.


MATT: 16?

TRAVIS: No, no, 20.

MATT: 20! You leap up, and as the fist pulls back, it actually, as it slams its fist into your back, it gives you a little more weight. It hurts, but it gives you the extra push. You end up being elevated to about halfway up the second gear. You hold onto it, your feet dangle for a minute, and you feel the gravity fighting in weird ways, and you hold on with him. (gears clacking)

TRAVIS: As we're going up, I'm trying to understand, there's 10 feet of horrible mechanical death.

MATT: Horrible grinding metal.

TRAVIS: Then above us is, can we see our friends, or no?

MATT: You can, and you guys, at this point, see now Caleb and Fjord leaping up, and holding onto the side of this gear.

SAM: See, they're fine, they're right there, look.

TRAVIS: Is there anything above us, like if there's horrible imminent death here, anything?

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: Just getting squished into the building.

MATT: Up above you, yeah, there's the area where the giant gear pushes into the building, and there's just enough gap there to grab somebody and drag them in, and there's about 25, or 30 feet above you before the lip that you guys had run down previously is above you.

TRAVIS: No, that's too far.

LAURA: Oh, wait, it's not my turn yet.

MATT: It is now, because you guys now see them leap up, and you haven't taken any action yet.

LAURA: So I'm going to fly up in the air and I'm not going to come close. But I want to fly up in the air and be at the ready, so that I can snag them if they go to jump to the lip, so I can catch them in my talons.

MATT: So you're holding your action.

LAURA: To catch them.

MATT: You fly over there, and then hold your action, that if they end up falling, you can retrieve them.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You got it, anybody else doing anything?

TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Bless on you, you, and you. Does it work?

MATT: The range on them is?

TALIESIN: The blange is 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet?

LAURA: The blange is 30 feet.

MATT: All right, so you have to get close.

MATT: They're within 30 feet right now, right, because they're--

MATT: If you move up a little bit, yeah, they're within 30 feet, okay.

TALIESIN: And then hit that, and does it work?

MATT: Nope.

TALIESIN: It doesn't work? Do I burn a spell slot, though, or is just--

MATT: Spell slots are burned when you do this, they just don't work.

TALIESIN: So it's not in the view of this creature, that's good to know.

LAURA: So if you're in the view of the-- I'm confused.

TALIESIN: No, it's just, everything, nothing's working, nothing's working.

TRAVIS: Bless didn't work?


LAURA: Would I not be an owl anymore, then?

MATT: You've moved around, up to the side. It's approached at this point.


MATT: Yeah, all right. All right, without putting a full battlefield down for this scenario here, the rules are a little weird about this. I would say, let me check one thing real fast.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I was kind of curious if this would work, yeah.

LIAM: In the meantime, though.

SAM: Ugh!

LAURA: Did it hit your eyeball?

LIAM: Do you want me to even you off?

MARISHA: I heard that!

LAURA: His eyeball, don't hit his other eyeball.

TRAVIS: I think it's all swollen.

MARISHA: It looks red, are you okay?

TALIESIN: All of this makes me sad.

SAM: It's already red.

MARISHA: No, I'm real bad at this game, I'm real bad.

SAM: These fuckers--

MATT: I would say yes, the spell does not work, when you land on the other side and put them down, you were a little ways away, that's why you had to move up to cast your spell. Your spell does not work, but you are still polymorphed.

LAURA: Okay, got it.

TALIESIN: All right. That was all I got.

MATT: So you prepare yourself, anybody else? You land on the other side and catch yourself, and see them holding onto it.

MARISHA: Three-point leading, that was awesome.

SAM: I can't do anything, I will just take a big swig of alcohol.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: I'm going to turn to Caleb and go: We may have to jump, this thing might be our only hope.

LIAM: Are we going to die up here?

MATT: Okay, as you guys are, below, you can see where the rune is, it's blue, it shifts to green.


MATT: Then this greenish black cloud rises up in your direction. I need both of you guys to roll constitution saving throws for me.

LAURA: Jesus H., what?

TRAVIS: (nervous, high-pitched laugh)

LAURA: Did I already eat all my marshmallow? I'm stress eating. Give me marshmallow.


MATT: Good.

SAM: Throw it in her mouth. I don't have any rope.

TRAVIS: The colors change?! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

MARISHA: It bounced off your nose, it was so cute.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22, okay. You both succeed.

MARISHA: Woo, woo!

TALIESIN: So yeah, no sleep tonight either, that's good. Just an adrenaline dump, yay.

MATT: All right, you guys both take 27 points of poison damage.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. That's a save.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: There's no effect.

TRAVIS: Fuck this thing. Holy shit.

MATT: It's your turn. What are you doing?

SAM: Wait.

TRAVIS: Whose turn?

MATT: Your guy's turn.

SAM: Does magic work now, maybe?

LIAM: How far away is the rest of the group from where we are? Do we see them at the top of the gears?

MATT: Right now, Caduceus is about 15, 20 feet from you on the other side of the gears. Jester you saw fly off, and is off to the side, a little below, maybe about 50, 60 feet off to the side there, and Beauregard and Nott are waiting behind Caduceus.

LIAM: And Jester is an owl where she is?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: I'm going to dive towards Jester and free fall.

MATT: Okay, Caleb leaps off of your body, out towards where Jester is.

LIAM: And when I get within maybe 10 or 15 feet, I am going to turn myself into a raven.

MATT: Okay, what are you doing, you guys are on the same initiative order.

TRAVIS: I'm going to see what happens to him.

LAURA: I was waiting to save you guys. (bird cawing) I don't know what giant owls make.

MATT: You're waiting, you watch Caleb leap off of you as you're being lifted up higher, higher with the gear, Caleb just leaps off, plummets down, and then turns into a tiny raven.

TRAVIS: I jump, too.

MATT: Fjord leaps, as well, off to the side, free fall.

LAURA: I use my, I'm saving my action to save him.

MATT: Yep, you dive down and catch him at his falling rate, manage to scoop up Fjord, right as you catch up with her as the raven.

LIAM: Question.

MATT: Yes?

LIAM: Where is the collar?

MATT: Where is the what?

LIAM: The collar around Caleb's neck.

MATT: Oh, that's right, because you're--

LIAM: Certainly doesn't have time to attune to it.

MATT: No, what spell were you casting?

LIAM: Polymorph.

MATT: Polymorph, yeah. Doesn't work.

LIAM: When I got close to her. Even though he did it when he's where she is?

TRAVIS: It's the--

MARISHA: The collar.

MATT: You go to try and speak the spell.

LAURA: Wait, but so--

MATT: But you were waiting for both, you catch both of them. You watch as Caleb leaps, and you leap after Caleb, and Caleb comes to a spell, and looks confused for a second, and you swoop up both of them.

LIAM: Brutal.

TALIESIN: We're going to run full speed towards this gate, I assume.

LAURA: Yeah. We're going to the gate.

MATT: You guys begin rushing down.

MARISHA: Hey, Nott?

SAM: What?

MARISHA: Can I have some of that flask?

SAM: Yes.

MARISHA: Thank you.

LAURA: As you're running?

MARISHA: Yeah, glug glug glug glug glug!

MATT: Okay, so. The rest of you are rushing down, down the side of the tower, heading in that direction. You guys just fly down to where that island is.

TRAVIS: (excited laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm still not okay with any of this.

SAM: I don't know what's happening, but whatever it is is brought to you by Dwarven Forge. Check out the latest--

LAURA: That kind of looks like a dick.

SAM: It does, check out the latest and greatest from Dwarven Forge at But I legitimately don't know what they're sponsoring right now.


SAM: Ooh!

LAURA: There's lights, I see lights.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's never a good sign.

SAM: There's Dwarven Forge!

LAURA: The island that was floating?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: It's a void.

LAURA: The floating island has a door?

SAM: Wait.

LAURA: Holy moly.

SAM: Wait, there's an island somewhere, what?

LAURA: The island has the door.

LIAM: This is void.

SAM: Wait, we're on this tower?

MATT: You are flying down, currently holding Fjord and--

LAURA: Oh, Fjord and Caleb, that's right.

MATT: Fjord and Caleb right there, while you guys are rushing your way down the lip of the tower. You guys are much faster. As you're heading down the side, you can see, there are these mechanical pieces of the tower where it seems like that same crackling blue type energy that you see flashing off in the distant storm, seems to be whirring and spinning, like it's powering the machine, or it's keeping energy at bay. You're not sure what the functionality is of these devices, but they begin to line the side lip of this tower as it curves downward. As you guys are running down, you can see Jester swoop down, and you, if you'd like to land on the island?

LAURA: Yeah, I'll drop them off on the island, and then I'll try to run over and grab the other peeps.

MATT: Okay, you head over, drop them off, begin to head this direction. You guys head over towards the edge here, and as you look over towards Jester, you see this strange blue spark, off in the upper left hand corner. You see, coming around the corner, the golem entity, with two arcane flame jets coming out of the bottom of the feet.

SAM: He's got jet packs!

LIAM: It's Iron Man!

LAURA: Are you fucking kidding me?!

SAM: What?!

LAURA: What!

MARISHA: That's cool.

LAURA: Oh god. Why is he so bad? But if we go in this door--

MARISHA: He's still going to follow.

LAURA: He's going to, and then we're in a room with no exit.

SAM: We've got to stop him from getting over here.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: He is heading--

TRAVIS: ♪ He can fly, he can fly ♪

MATT: -- in this direction, he's starting to catch up with you guys.

LAURA: Oh, he's heavy.

MATT: He is, I couldn't hold--

LAURA: Whoa! (piece clatters)

SAM: Oh fucking--

MATT: I lost, I don't know where the other top of this piece went right now.

TRAVIS: I'll balance him.

MATT: It's fine, it's fine, go for it. Anyway, let's roll initiative once more.


MARISHA: Initiative.

LAURA: All right, I get a fear of all my dice as soon as we start anything terrible.

SAM: Well, they're all terrible.

LAURA: Shut up! It was good!

MATT: 25 to 20?

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20 to 15?


SAM: 16.

MATT: Ooh.

LAURA: What color is the golem's face right now? Is it still green?

MATT: No, blue now.

MARISHA: Back to blue?

MATT: Yes, it's back to blue.

TRAVIS: That means his boosters are actually mechanical or something.

SAM: Jesus. I want those boosters.

TRAVIS: You want those boots?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: That brings us to 15 to 10?

LIAM: 11.


MATT: All right.

SAM: If we got one of those, one of his feet, I could probably use that as a jet pack.

LAURA: What's the order?

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Jester, you're up first. You can see it heading in the direction of you guys, generally. He's the bottom.


MATT: What do you do, Jester?

LAURA: I feel like if I get us in the air, it's going to probably be bad. (groaning) I'm going to fly and try to be on the same side, over here.

MATT: Okay, what's the speed on your owl?

LAURA: (scared whimpering) That's a good question.

MARISHA: What if it's a closet, what if it's like a pantry, and we're just fucking stuck?

LAURA: 60 feet.

MATT: So what's it, 60?

LAURA: 60.

MATT: So let's see here, distance wise, you can--

LAURA: Even though I made myself an owl and not an eagle, but whatever.

MATT: So 60, you can go over here, at 50 feet, and be there fine.

LAURA: That's 50, was that 50?

MATT: Yeah. You still have 10 feet of movement from here.

LAURA: I guess I'm going to-- if I went, would I be able to make it to the top of the ledge right there?

MATT: You could. This represents the tower wall.

LAURA: Oh, okay, that's not an actual lip.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Then I'm going to go 10 feet further away than--

MATT: This way?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, that's your movement, you still have an action. If you want to hold your action, it's up to you.

LAURA: I guess I'll hold-- oh god. I can't cast spells when I'm an owl, though.

TALIESIN: Well, there's no spells, anyway.

LAURA: Yeah. I guess I'll drop the owl form.

MATT: You drop the owl form? Up to you.

LAURA: (nervous laughing)

LIAM: Yeah, do it, if that's what you thought.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to drop the owl form, and ready my ax, just in case.

TRAVIS: Yeah, move confidently in the direction of your dreams.

MATT: There you go. So there. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

MATT: All right. Finishing Jester's turn. So you drop the form, that doesn't take an action. You still have an action.

LAURA: Okay, then.

MARISHA: (whispering) Are we fighting this bitch?

LAURA: Fucking hell, I don't know what I'm doing.

TRAVIS: Can you Banish him?


TRAVIS: No, if you're running to blue face, don't listen to me.

LAURA: But I'm far enough away that maybe I could do a spell, and it won't do anything?

SAM: Sure, why not?

MARISHA: I mean, you could do a cantrip, and just test the radius.

LAURA: Oh god.

TRAVIS: He will close the distance before you--


LAURA: Shit.

LIAM: Closing the distance.

LAURA: Don't-- why am I first?! Oh god, I'm so nervous.

LIAM: She's all alone.

MARISHA: All alone.

MATT: Time's closing, what are you doing?

TALIESIN: In a time of need.

SAM: (singing)

LAURA: I'm going to cast Spacred Flame at him.

SAM: Spacred Flame.

MATT: Spancred Flame.

LAURA: I'm going to Spacred Flame him.

MATT: All right, is that a dexterity saving throw?

LAURA: What's the blange on that?


LAURA: I'm not going to Spacred Flame him because it's 60 feet.

MATT: Yeah, you're not close enough, unfortunately.

LIAM: Should have done it at 4th-level.

LAURA: Yeah, I should have. (laughs)


LAURA: I'm going to-- everything's going to be canceled the minute he gets to me, so it doesn't make any sense for me to waste a spell right now.

MATT: Okay, so you're just going to hold, you're just going to--

LIAM: Do something, tief.

SAM: Hold your action.

LAURA: I'm going to hold, I'm going to hold my spell of-- I'm going to hold Duplicity. I'm going to hold Duplicity, for if he is not blue.

MATT: Okay, you got it, all right. That ends your turn. Now, the--

LAURA: That's the stupidest. I'm so dumb.

MATT: At the 20 count--

LAURA: Don't judge me, internet. Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: 10 feet that way.

SAM: What!

MATT: It's slowly moving.

SAM: How about an iceberg.

MATT: It's now the golem's turn.

LAURA: I figured that the owl would drop if he got close enough anyway, and then I didn't want to be in the air.

SAM: I support you. I totally support you.

TRAVIS: Where's he going?

MATT: You do notice his movement. He doesn't move very fast. At this point, he's about equal with you guys, but he's a heavy thing. Whatever it is that's powering this, you don't know what the energy source is, and it's mainly just the feet, and gravity itself that's fighting with it. It's doing it at a weird angle as it's (humming) around the side, but it's moving slowly. As it does so, it's going to--

SAM: Oh, boy.

TRAVIS: Whoa! Whoa, grab a smaller one. Grab a smaller one! (screaming)

MATT: So--

LAURA: Caleb's out of it, right?

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: He was in it?


LAURA: He's out of it now.

MATT: But you do notice, as the head turns towards the island where they are, and that blue light, against the storm, it gives off-- you can visualize now that you know what you're looking for-- the faint bit of blue light that's coming out of it, in that big radius, it's a cone in front of its face. As soon as it washes over the island, the sparkling doorway, which, as you guys land and look at it, it's this shifting purple shimmer, it blinks out, and it's just an empty archway.

LAURA: But it's only if he's looking at it.

LIAM: It's a ray.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we needed that door, though.

SAM: It'll come back.

LAURA: It'll come back as soon as he goes away.

MARISHA: Yeah, we just got to get his attention.

MATT: As its other action, it's going to fly over 15 feet, this direction.


LAURA: Fuck.

MARISHA: 15 feet?

SAM: I thought was just-- oh, fuck, I could stayed an owl. I could have stayed an owl!

TRAVIS: Matthew!

MATT: What? All right, Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: I pull my transmuter stone out my pouch, and then start hammering it on this collar, trying to break it.

MATT: Okay. (impacts) You got it.

LIAM: That's it.

MATT: All right. You going to move, or stay put?

LIAM: Where is there to go?

MATT: I don't know.

LIAM: We're on a rock. I'll go to the furthest edge that way.

MATT: Okay, there you go. All right.

LAURA: Oh god.

LIAM: I'll go to this corner.

MATT: There you go, okay. That finishes Caleb's go. Oh, sorry, no, sorry, it's Beau and Nott now, sorry, my bad.

MARISHA: Was Caleb after Jester, is that what?

MATT: No, I misread it, sorry.

MARISHA: Okay, no worries.

MATT: It's the golem, then Beau and Nott, and then it's Caleb.

MARISHA: No, it's awesome.

LAURA: That would have been really good information to have before my--

MATT: I know, but you're just learning things as you begin to see the creature. This is the first time you really saw it, was this moment.

MARISHA: How far away is he from us right now? Or from the island?

MATT: You could estimate somewhere between 50 to 60 feet.

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: Can't get over there.

LIAM: I haven't got shit.

MARISHA: I'm going to rub my palms together and then activate my maelstrom gloves.

MATT: Okay. Now you can see the lightning charging through them. As you slam your fists together, and the lightning begins to charge around them, the energy device that's behind you that's whirring, you watch the purple lightning begin to arc between your gloves and the device. And you do take two points of lightning damage, but the gloves now are thrumming in power.

MARISHA: Whoa! Do I have an attack?

TRAVIS: Just need somebody to punch.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm going to Hadouken chi charge this, and I want to hold my action until he gets within 20 feet of me, and then I'm going to blast him with some lightning.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Up the butt.

LIAM: Hadouken.

MATT: Essentially, yeah. Okay, so you're moving to the edge and holding your action? Is that what you're doing?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: Okay. That finishes your turn. Nott, what are you doing?

SAM: I mean, we can't hurt this thing, can we? It's got a million hit points.

TALIESIN: Has anyone tried?

LAURA: Maybe if we electrocute him, he's machinery. We could electrocute him, we could use water. Maybe water will break him, if he's a machine?

SAM: I'll shoot an electric water arrow at him. Shit.

TALIESIN: Try something. Don't assume anything, just try something.

SAM: Okay, I will-- I mean, he's not looking at me, but that doesn't mean I'm hidden, right? This is not a sneak attack?

MATT: No, you're not hidden, no.

SAM: Well, then I will bonus action hide? There's nowhere to hide.

MATT: There's nowhere to hide.

LAURA: Just shoot him. Try shooting him.

SAM: It's not worth it.

LAURA: Shoot him in the face.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, maybe.

LAURA: Yeah, shoot him in the face.

SAM: In the face! All right, I'm going to rush back to that thing, that tower thing.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That's even farther away. How far can I shoot?

MATT: Back here, you mean?

SAM: Yeah. And hide behind it.

MATT: Hide behind it, okay.

SAM: How far is my range?

MATT: You move behind it.

SAM: Okay, sure.

MATT: What is the range on your hand crossbow?

SAM: It's 120, but at disadvantage.

MATT: Right.

SAM: Okay, so I will bonus action hide, and then shoot at it.

MATT: Roll a stealth check.

SAM: Okay. Not great, wait, do I get advantage on stealth, because I got my cloak?

MATT: You would, yes.

SAM: Better, 24.

LAURA: Didn't even see a second dice in his hand, it was just like he pooped it out.

MATT: 24, then it canceled out, there's no advantage because you had disadvantage, so it's just a single roll, remember?

SAM: So I don't get sneak attack if it hits?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Okay, great, shit.

MATT: It's the problem with the long range on it.

LAURA: Oh, wait, but that was a stealth check.

MATT: Oh, that was a stealth check, I thought it was the attack roll.

SAM: That was a stealth check.

MATT: Right, okay, that's fine, but for your attack roll, you do not have advantage or disadvantage--

LAURA: Oh, your stealth check wasn't a disadvantage.

SAM: Got it, so then I shoot at a 16 to hit.

MATT: That does not hit.

SAM: All that work for nothing. (laughs)

MATT: You see the bolt release, and it fights the gravity for a second and impacts the side of its shoulder, and just reflects off.

SAM: Well, I've got fucking nothing!

MATT: All right, that ends their turn, Caleb? You spend your time banging the necklace.

LIAM: Trying to smash it.

MATT: Trying to smash it. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: I don't know if it's magic; it's an invocation, so we'll just fucking try it. I will use Mask of Many Faces to try and make myself look like Halas?

MATT: Okay. Nothing happens.

TRAVIS: Yeah, cool. Well, it's just us, Caleb. Okay. Should I try and chop the collar off?

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, give it a shot.

TRAVIS: Yeah, fuck it, so I'll walk over there.

TRAVIS: Can I summon the sword?

MATT: Yeah, have you unsummoned it since last you used it?

TRAVIS: No, I mean, I've just had it, yeah--

MATT: So you probably had it, and it'd still have the glow around you, so it's still invoked.

TRAVIS: Is the glow still glowing?

MATT: Yeah, you haven't, you haven't uninvoked it. Oh, actually, you did sheathe it when you leaped up onto the gears. You would have to resummon it, yeah.


MATT: So you can summon the sword with a--

LAURA: Can you summon the sword, though? Is that magic?


LIAM: Yeah, that's what we're asking.

MATT: Nope.



TALIESIN: Still got a whip.

LAURA: No, it's a magic whip.

MATT: Still a whip.

TRAVIS: And I have a little dagger.

MATT: All righty--

LAURA: Is there a lock on the collar?

MARISHA: That picky lock--

TRAVIS: Yeah, but it goes in a keyhole, and locks it.

SAM: Also I have it.

LAURA: Also it's magic.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck!

MATT: Caduceus, your turn.

TRAVIS: I'll move, I'll move over there by Caleb.

MATT: You move over to him and, yeah, shit. Then turn around and fisticuffs.

TRAVIS: Well, actually, with my action, is there anything on the collar that looks like a hinge, a clasp, a--

MATT: Well, I'll put it this way. Mask of Many Faces, trying to cast it is an action, so you don't have your action, but you can make an investigation check to see if there's some sort of mechanism to it.

TRAVIS: Okay. And then 14.

MATT: Yeah, there is an actual device there. It's not intended for a key, but there is a section where it locked onto his neck that probably could be disabled.


MATT: Caduceus, what are you doing?

LAURA: While also beheading you.

MATT: It's (deep humming). Slowly heading its way in an awkward zigzag path over towards the--

TALIESIN: I'm going to try-- I have nothing, except for I have one spell with 60 foot reach. I'm going to try it. I'm going to try Command.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Command.

MATT: Interesting.

LAURA: I like it, I like it.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: He said interesting. That's good, these are good.

TALIESIN: I'm going to say--

MATT: You move up to the edge, look towards it.



LIAM: I like it.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: ♪ Clap on ♪

TALIESIN: It's a wisdom save.

LAURA: ♪ Clap off ♪

MATT: Does have advantage. Wisdom save. (humming slows)


MATT: You watch as the jets peter out, the color vanishes, and it begins to plummet. But it's strange. When you watch it plummet, it plummets at an outward arc, meaning the gravity seems to shift in the other direction, away from the tower, and it's being thrust that way. You see it fall.

TALIESIN: We don't have a lot of time.

LAURA: Did the door come back as soon as the...?

MATT: The door emerged.

TALIESIN: We don't have a lot of time.

MATT: Your sword summons. What are you guys doing?

TALIESIN: We've got to go now.

SAM: How long does that spell last?

TALIESIN: Not long.

MARISHA: Shout at us what you see.

LAURA: Fuck balls, I have to use Polymorph again.

TRAVIS: I cut off Caleb's head. (laughter)

MATT: Fixed it!

MARISHA: We don't know why he turned.

LAURA: I mean, that's the only option, is to use Polymorph again, yeah? To get everybody across?

MARISHA: Well, maybe check out and see what room we're in first?

LIAM: Is the door back, too?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: We're going in this place!

TRAVIS: Fair note, if you just jump, you'll keep going.

SAM: Did he go down and out, or just out?

MATT: You saw him at an angle, like this.

LAURA: You try it first, you try it first, and then if you start going too far, Feather Fall, and then Fjord will catch you with the whip. Go, go try to jump--

SAM: You want me to jump into an abyss of doom?

TALIESIN: We've got to go now.

LAURA: So we can see how far you can go, go, try--

SAM: As an experiment!?

LAURA: Nott!

SAM: (screams) (laughter)

SAM: All right, she's going to toss me over the edge.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I try to toss Nott as far--

MATT: Okay, make a strength check.

LAURA: Get ready to catch him.

MATT: So Nott, you come over to--

TRAVIS: I've got my Castlevania whip at the ready.

LAURA: Strength check, strength check, strength check. Nine.

MATT: Nine, okay. Go ahead and make--

LAURA: Wait, Guide me-- wait, you didn't guide me.

SAM: Go on! Guide me. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I don't know what's happening. I just had a thing happen, and I'm okay--

MATT: You shot put Nott about 10 feet, and you begin to fall, gravity gets weird for a second. Your body gyrates, and you begin to drift at an outward angle, but you're going low.

SAM: Oh, God.

MATT: As you are now plummeting faster.

LAURA: Shit.

SAM: At like fall speed, or at slow speed?

MATT: Right now, I'd say it's probably at a fall speed out this way.

SAM: I will cast Feather Fall.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Okay. So you drift from your falling speed to about there, but you are about 20 feet below.

TRAVIS: That's all (whipping sound).

SAM: I'm going to hold out my cloak like a flying squirrel.


MATT: Perfect.

TRAVIS: Crack the whip. Right towards Nott.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an attack roll.


MATT: I'd say--

LAURA: Do not try to catch it if it does like you did before.

MATT: So I'm going to have, if you want to try, because you're not trying to avoid it, you're trying to grab at it.

SAM: I guess I'm not trying to avoid this, no.

MATT: Right.

TALIESIN: Good call.

MATT: So I'll actually give you advantage on the attack.

TRAVIS: Okay. 20.

MATT: 20, yeah, I mean, without issue. The whip wraps around, and you catch Nott. (laughter) And pull her back onto it, so Nott, you get up onto the side here.

LIAM: Caught a big one.

SAM: Your turn, Jester. Jump!

MATT: So that's your action.

LAURA: Oh, right.

MATT: Beau-- Nott, technically, you were just thrown and grabbed, you still haven't taken an action yet on your turn.

SAM: I mean, I cast Feather Fall-- that's a reaction.

MATT: It's a reaction.

SAM: That's a reaction. What if I, I don't got nothing. Hey, Caleb, do you have a rope? Fjord, do you have a rope?

LAURA: Try to unlock the thing on Caleb. Try to unlock the thing on Caleb's neck.

SAM: All right, what thing?

LAURA: But you can use it as an action.

SAM: Oh, okay, well, let me go inspect this thing for a while. How's it look?

LAURA: You have the key. You have the key!

SAM: But I've never seen this thing before. I have a key?

LAURA: You have an unlocking key.

SAM: That's not an unlocking key. That's a locking key.


MATT: So are you going over to, using your--

SAM: I'll go look and see what's going on.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

LIAM: And we're still in initiative order at this point?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: 15, oh, 13.

MATT: Okay, it's loose because the creature's not acting this round, so you guys are going at what pace you want to. What'd you roll, sorry?

SAM: 13.

MATT: 13?

SAM: Not great.

MATT: I mean, you know it's a locking mechanism. You're inspecting it, it's probably unlockable, but it's a little obtuse as to how you-- it would take you a little bit of time to try it.

SAM: I'll start working on it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: For my turn, I would have also started moving in the direction that the island's going to be moving to, just to try and keep--

MATT: Okay, it's moving this way.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay. Well, then I'm fine then.

MATT: All right, so what are the rest of you guys doing? There's now this large gulf between you and the island, and the creature is plummeting and falling out that way.

TRAVIS: Who's next?

SAM: Come on, just jump!

LAURA: Just run and jump.

MARISHA: You had slow-- you had-- so okay, I'm going to go back--

LAURA: He doesn't have a whip crack anymore, that's true. I can polymorph. I can polymorph on the next turn, and try to fly us all across.

TRAVIS: Okay, yeah, that's better, because I can't do the whipping, and you're right.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, so--

LAURA: Do you guys want to go through the door, and we'll just go through the door as soon as it's--?

TALIESIN: I mean...

LAURA: If he wakes back up, that door's going to go away.

SAM: Yeah, we got to go through the door.

TALIESIN: Better not-- well, okay.

TRAVIS: We should all go together.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I know.

LIAM: Caleb grabs Nott's hand and drags her through the door.

SAM: Oh!

TALIESIN: Okay, never mind.

SAM: But what if-- We have Feather Fall and nobody-- okay, bye.

MATT: All right.


MATT: Are you guys doing anything-- I mean, you moved up. Just look over the edge, the three of you, well, you've, you took your action in pushing Nott off of the side. What are you two doing?

MARISHA: I guess, so I've got to wait for, wait a little bit of time before Fjord gets an action again, to try this?

MATT: Probably, yeah.

TALIESIN: If I have anything, I'm going to cast Bless on the three of us because I got nothing better to do.

MATT: Okay, so Jester, Beau, and Caduceus all have Bless? All right, so--

MARISHA: I guess I'll hold my action until anybody--

MATT: Okay. So top of the round now. Technically, I let you go since the golem was falling, so now it's the golem's turn.

LIAM: This is complicated.

MATT: The Command ends.

SAM: Oh, Jesus.

MATT: The eye lights up, and the thruster (roars). It slows down its descent because of the pace that it's plummeting, so it doesn't actually get its full speed back, so it stays put. But it's stabilized, and it's going to rotate its face--

LAURA: It's not farther away than that?

MATT: No, because it plummeted the one round length the last round. Back toward the island, the doorway flickers out, shortly after Caleb and Nott vanish through it, and you feel the blue light come upon you, Fjord.

LIAM: Sword's out, though, right?

MATT: The sword is out, though the runes have dulled. That brings us to Jester, Beau, and Nott.

MARISHA: I guess we've got to fight this thing a little bit now.

LAURA: Yeah, what's the-- oh, God.

MARISHA: I've got some awesome lightning gloves. If you want to be an owl again, I could ride your back and shoot lightning--

LAURA: Like from behind him? I'd have to try to fly--

MARISHA: Like an Ace fighter.

LIAM: Do a barrel roll.

MARISHA: Pew, pew, I don't know.

TRAVIS: Who has this big-ass healing potion?

LAURA: You, Fjord.

TRAVIS: I do. Okay, can't drink it.

LAURA: I'm going to transform into a giant eagle.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And I'm going to--

SAM: (owl sounds) I'm an eagle.

LAURA: I'm going to pick up-- (owl sound) I'm going to pick up Caduceus, but I'm going to swoop and let Beau climb on the back of my neck.

MATT: Okay, so Beau, your fists still charged.

MARISHA: Full Falkor style here.

MATT: Yep, up on the back.

LAURA: How close do you have to be in order to make that thing work, those things?

MARISHA: 20 feet.

LAURA: Okay. Now, his cone is a 3D cone, right?

MATT: Correct, it's not a flat cone. Everything in this space right here--

TALIESIN: You can always turn on his turn.

LAURA: I know we can turn on his turn.

TALIESIN: We've got to be over...

MATT: Yeah, we'll say for the purposes of just keeping you aware of where it is, I'll leave that there, because you can see the blue light emanating from the front.

LAURA: The only option is to go high and get above, and try to, if he cancels us out, then we'll drop to the island.

TRAVIS: That's a 60 foot cone?

LAURA: Potentially.

MATT: 60 foot cone, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you're going to have to go 60 feet straight up.

SAM: Well, it's a cone--

LAURA: Well, it's a cone, so 60 feet at its highest, so it's probably--

TRAVIS: I mean, if he looks up.

MATT: Well, regardless, what do you guys do?

LAURA: I'm going to fly.

MARISHA: I like the idea of getting over the island. It's cool.

MATT: 60 foot, all right. Where are you going?

LAURA: I'm going to go, zoom, and try to be high, like around here, to where I'm above the cone, and also above the island.

MATT: So you can to about-- above the island, you mean?

LAURA: Yeah, above the cone, above the island.

MATT: It gets a little tight. I'd say you don't feel comfortable getting closer than that to where the island is, for fear of where the blue energy is. You can see the faint drifting.

LAURA: Okay, is that close enough for Beau to do her shit? Are we within 20 feet of it?

MATT: You're not sure.

LIAM: 20 feet is the square in the middle of that island, for reference.

MATT: Yeah. So you're probably a little further away. You're too far away.

TRAVIS: Those measuring things are awesome, by the way.

SAM: Chuck her?

LAURA: Onto his back, do you want to...? She's on my back, so she'd have to jump and then land.

MATT: Plus, you already used your action to cast a spell, so you're out of actions on this one.

MARISHA: It's not a bad idea, though.

LAURA: You could leap. You're in leapable territory.

MATT: Beau and Caduceus, you guys are within probably 30-ish or so feet from the creature. What do you do?

LAURA: At least I'm an eagle now.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try Command one more time.

MARISHA: This is awesome.

MATT: You're going to try Command one more time?


MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I love jumping off things, so I'm going to--

TALIESIN: Well, I'm going first, anyway.

MARISHA: Oh, wait, it's you, sorry.

MATT: It's up to you guys.

LAURA: Yeah, try it, because he might be able to--

TALIESIN: It doesn't matter if I do this, then. It's no good.

LIAM: Hoo boy.

MATT: You are fucking lucky. As it turns around, rights itself.



MATT: You see it then drift further out and power it off a second time.

TRAVIS: The flat delivery is everything. "Off." (laughter)

MATT: It is way over there now. This vanishes.

MARISHA: All right.


LAURA: Cool, cool, tight, tight.

MATT: The doorway reappears.

LAURA: So we can fly in and go through the door?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Will I fit through as an eagle?

MATT: Could be a tight squeeze, but you can if you want to. So you guys all enter--

SAM: The door? We made it out?

LAURA: We made it.

SAM: Because of two Command spells?! Amazing.

LAURA: But the golem will be there when we come back? Or he could come through the door.

MARISHA: Or he will come through the door.

LAURA: Well, I mean, it's a little door, and I barely fit through as an eagle, and he's way bigger than that.

TRAVIS: We got to destroy the doorway.

SAM: We'll put a tripwire next to it so he'll fall.

TRAVIS: There's no other door yet out of here.

SAM: That's where we are.

LIAM: We're making it, we're cool.

LAURA: We could be in the Golem Workshop, Oh jesus, We could be in the Golem Workshop. Out of the frying pan and into the fire?

TRAVIS: We'll find out, we'll find out.

TALIESIN: I'm out of 1st-level spells, too.

TRAVIS: Well used. I mean, seriously, we would have been fjucked.

LIAM: Caduceus saves the day.

LAURA: Yeah, Caduceus seriously saves the day.


MATT: Get to the room you guys are in here.

LAURA: I got all my 1st-levels. I used up a whole bunch of spells.

TALIESIN: It's 14-year-old VCR repair, just turn it off and turn it on.

MATT: You guys rush through, one after another, stepping through what behind you is this double set of heavy metal doors, as you step into a chamber, you can see ahead of you a cavernous hallway of carved granite, standing 40 feet high, and about 40 feet or so from side to side, and it carries back a depth of maybe 100 or more feet. You can see tall pillars, three pairs of them that are off to the sides, helping support the weight of this chamber, each with ever-glowing torch sconces facing inward, giving a gentle flicker of firelight. The room itself seems strangely empty, like it's been largely cleared out, or was never fully realized for its intended purpose. What do you guys want to do?

SAM: What is the intended purpose?

MARISHA: What's it look like?

LAURA: Is there anything in here that's sitting on the--

MATT: You can make a perception check.

LIAM: Fjord, are you able to do that thing where you see things that are invisible? Can you get this off of me, please?

SAM: Yes, I'll start picking the lock--

LAURA: Are you still mute? I mean, can you speak at all?

SAM: Can you talk, or is it just magic?


LIAM: Oh, nothing?

SAM: Okay, I'll start picking his--

MATT: Make a dexterity check with your proficiency bonus.

SAM: 25.

MATT: 25 is what you needed.


MATT: You get your devices into it, you find where the clamping mechanism is, and you manage to unhinge it. It opens up and clanks to the ground.

LIAM: I pick it up and put it in my bag.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Can I cast See Invisibility with the Star Razor?

MATT: Sure. Your vision spreads out in front of you, and as you glance in, as well, there's that little bit of firelight around. You can see now these faint runes around the door that represent the enchantments that connect all these different doorways from place to place.

TRAVIS: The doorway that we came through?

MATT: You came through, yeah. Looking over, you can see the faint glow of the enchantment that holds it there that anchors them together. Beyond that, nothing else catches your attention immediately. Glancing across the way, along the long length of road, it looks like there's crates and tables, boxes, things on the far, far end, piled and shoved on the opposite end.

TRAVIS: Can I call out that there are runes above the doorway, and I'm going to quickly start running the length of this room, looking for any similar runes on the wall, or any sort of additional doorway that maybe we don't see right away.

MATT: Okay, make a perception check.

MARISHA: Oh, there he goes.

LAURA: Traps, check for traps?

SAM: ♪ Traps! Ahhhh! ♪


MATT: Okay. As you're running down the hallway, yeah, it looks like there's storage boxes and crates and things on the far end, some that are tipped over, the top left off. You can see a few large objects that have tarps pushed over them, or big sheets that are just draped over the objects. As you're charging down the third length, you look, and you can see on the ground little bits of ash or dust scattered in places.

SAM: This is the golem workshop.

MATT: What'd you roll again?


MATT: 20, yep, that's it.

SAM: What you see, Fjordy?

TRAVIS: I'm looking for more runes. There are runes above the doorway that we came in. There must be another way out of here.

SAM: Runes? Well, look for traps and shit.


LIAM: Why don't you look for traps and shit?

SAM: I was dealing with you! All right, I'll just look around for traps and shit.

MATT: Okay, so you guys all waiting for, are you continuing to check down the rest of the hallway, and you're checking for traps? What are you guys doing?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'd like to say that I halt when he says traps, because I hadn't thought about that. I freeze.

MATT: Okay. So you stop right at that end of the first third of the chamber, halting there. Sure, go for it.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Guidance on you.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: So that you're good.

SAM: You're not going to throw me into the abyss again?

LAURA: No, but you did really good. You looked really amazing as you were flying.

SAM: Well, thank you.

LAURA: Did it feel cool?

SAM: It did not.

MATT: There's four sconces facing the inside of the pillars. It's low light, but it's there.

SAM: I mean, it's a gigantic room. I guess I'll just pick the center path to scan for traps first.

MATT: Are you doing it carefully, or?

SAM: Carefully.

MATT: Carefully, it'll take some time. So go for it.

LAURA: We don't have time.

SAM: Then I won't do it carefully. I'll run to where Fjord was, because he didn't trigger any traps, and I will continue from there. I'll pick left and just go left and start looking around.

MATT: Make a check with disadvantage.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: But add four.

MARISHA: I'm going to turn around and keep an eye on the door.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Good rolls.

LIAM: Also, Caleb extends his hand, and what typically looks like a Fire Bolt forming there forms, but just stays, and then licks up along his hand, and up to the forearm, and lights 10 feet out in every direction.

TRAVIS: What happened to those manacles, by the way? Just in case, didn't we have manacles that we could put on something?

LAURA: Aren't they in the bag?

SAM: 26 for investigation.

MATT: 26, yeah, the center part of the hallway, the floor is a smooth granite. There's a faint crack that runs along the length of it, across from one side to the other. And there's a very, very, very faint, almost imperceivable change in texture to the stone.

SAM: Over the whole length of the--?

MATT: Over the whole length, for about 15 feet or so, in the center of the hallway, and you also look, on that piece, what you had saw was a couple bits of scattered ash, are actually three distinct piles of ash.

LIAM: Yeah, those were people.

SAM: I will point that area out to the rest of the group.

TALIESIN: Okay, moving around it.

LAURA: We can't move around it. It's across the whole room.

MATT: It's a 15 foot distance, the entire length of the center of the floor.

LAURA: Can we check for-- is that magic? Do you think it's magic?

SAM: Something there is something, I'll look up to the ceiling to see if there's any holes or trigger points or glowing--

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: Okay. Natural 20.


MATT: Okay, you glance up at the ceiling. You don't see any holes or anything that seems to be affixed, or connecting to this. You do notice the pillars immediately to the right and left of you guys, and just the side that's facing the direction you're facing, it looks like there are darkened pits and charred impacts, like something has repeatedly blasted just this side of the pillars behind you, facing the direction you are.

LAURA: So it's coming from the other side?

MATT: As if something were to come towards you from the far end of the wall, and be blasting things--

LIAM: Walking into a fire hose of fire or something like that.

LAURA: Oh, great.

SAM: All right, all right. The area that is bad news, does it have--

MATT: I'll visually show you, this might be--


LIAM: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

LAURA: I like how he waits until we start asking enough questions, and he doesn't just let us have it immediately.

TRAVIS: Go ahead, blueberry.

LIAM: I can't see it, Matt, I can't see it.

SAM: Do I still look ridiculous?

LAURA: You just look bruised.

LIAM: Do it, glam rock.

SAM: This part of your nightmare is powered by Dwarven Forge.

LAURA: Whoa!

TALIESIN: This is a throwback to game one a little bit.

LAURA: Oh, man.

MATT: Let me set some of the lights here.

ALL: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Ambiance!

MATT: Because you can see it with your super high perception roll, Nott. You can see on the opposite end, these large, plated--

SAM: Brutality.

MATT: -- giant, weird ballista. You can just see the outline of it, you don't see the design or the shape, but you can see this ballista-like structure. You guys are right up on the edge here, is where you--

LAURA: On the trigger point.

MATT: Seeing this area, this 15 foot band there is what you're worried about.

LAURA: Can we see anything that would make it, that would trigger them, that is running across the ground, or, like a mark on the wall or something?

TRAVIS: He has nothing, she has.

SAM: Yeah, I mean, I didn't see a trigger. I just saw an area that was--

MATT: You saw the floor itself was discolored. It's a different, slightly different type of stone than the rest of the floor.

LIAM: Just don't hit the ground. Could we get some cover, and Nott, you do your little trick with your hand, and make something float--

MATT: Beau, you're keeping an eye here?

MARISHA: I'm looking behind, yeah.

LIAM: -- in space to see if it's just the ground, or if we could maybe get over.

LAURA: We could hide behind the pillars and then toss something up and over.

TRAVIS: I will take cover behind one of those little pillars.

LAURA: Yeah, same, same.

TRAVIS: While we figure this out.

SAM: That's a great idea, let's all do that.

LAURA: Let's all hide behind the pillars.

MATT: You all hide behind the pillars?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: I'm going to hide behind the back pillar.

MATT: Over here?


MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's where the monster's going to come from.

SAM: I will also hide behind one of those.

MATT: You do know that that is probably coming. And you know the pace, the distance that it fell and the pace in which you can fly, that time is getting short.

SAM: Okay, I'm going to just--

MARISHA: Wait a minute. I'm going to go back and mirror Caleb.

MATT: Okay, sure. So what are you guys doing?

SAM: I'm hiding behind the pillar next to Jester. I'm going to cast Mage Hand.

LIAM: Caleb is really fucked up.

SAM: I'm going to take Mage Hand with the bone charm I found off of these dead hunters in the woods or whatever, and float it out to the middle of the dead zone there.

MATT: The hand drifts it out there, nothing.

SAM: Okay, I'm going to say: Watch yourself! and then I'm going to drop it on the floor.

MATT: Okay. The moment it hits the ground, both of the sheet-covered ballista (explosion) and fire what looks to be an extremely vibrant blast. One is blue and one is reddish. You see them both blast the ground where that small charm hit, there is a burst of flame and a spark of electricity, and where it impacted, there's a blast wave of force that causes the wind to blow your hair back. And where it hit the ground, there's this scattered piece of shattered bone charm, where it once was.

SAM: Do you think they have to reload? Maybe we can go.

MARISHA: Or do you think that we could use this to trap the golem in here?

SAM: Forget the golem, what if we can go right now? What if the things have to recharge or something?

MARISHA: Where are we going to go? We don't even know where it is on the other side.

LIAM: Well, at the very least, we could all get to the other side of it, and then set them off when the thing comes in here. That's a help.

TRAVIS: We need to get to the other side.

LIAM: I'm moving back, closer to the group.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Throw something else in there, see if it'll--

LAURA: I'm going to take one of the crystals-- I had a pocket full of crystals from a thing-- and I'm going to throw it on the ground.

SAM: Not the shiny thing, oh, okay.

LAURA: I'm going to throw it, it was a little one. I'm going to throw it on the ground real fast, right after Nott, just to see how fast they shoot again.

MATT: Okay, you throw them out there. Maybe four seconds afterward, they both fire again immediately.

TRAVIS: Yeah, there's no reload. I can jump to the other side with one other person. Anyone want to come with?

MATT: It's interesting, you watch as they're about to fire. Even though the sheet is over them, right over the sheet, and in the front of where the bow portion of the ballista is, you see runes light up before it fires. This is not your standard ballista.

TRAVIS: That's bad, the golem can turn the runes off.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, that's true.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Wait, wait. Don't we have some rock that you can throw and dispel magic?

LIAM: Fjord wasted it on the thing outside.

SAM: Oh. Jesus, Fjord, why are you so stupid all of the time?

TRAVIS: I don't know. It's a good question.

MARISHA: I'm going to walk over and feel the edge of the door. Do I feel any vibrations, any footsteps, anything heavy coming, like a guy, a golem?

MATT: The door is partially open, and there's the shimmering purple, so you could put your head out, if you want, to look.


MATT: Okay, so Beau moves over, and pokes her head through.

MARISHA: Just checking.

MATT: It's heading in your direction, and its head's coming upward, and you sense its gaze about to hit the doorway that you are partially halfway through.

LAURA: Dude, Matt, I'm still an eagle. I'm still an eagle.

SAM: Dude Matt.

MATT: Oh, you didn't change your form.

LAURA: I didn't, I came through as an eagle.

LIAM: Let's say you dropped it to throw the--

LAURA: Well, no, but I wouldn't have thrown the thing if I was an eagle.

LIAM: But you could say that you turned into a tiefling again to do it, if you had the thought to do it, unless you want to be an eagle still.

LAURA: Well, I mean, if we're talking about flying over the thing, I wouldn't have dropped my form just to test it out, you know what I'm saying?


LAURA: I was an eagle when I came through the door.

MATT: That's true, that is my fault.

SAM: Why is that your fault?

LAURA: That's not your fault. I should have remembered that I was an eagle.

SAM: Laura's the worst.


MATT: She did squeeze through in eagle form.

SAM: Undo! Dunamancy, dunamancy, dunamancy.

MATT: So all of your conversation has been (squawking).

LAURA: Yeah, I've been just chattering, nobody's understood me. But I don't know if I'd've been able to hide behind a pillar as a giant eagle.

MATT: No, well, that's fine. There you are.

SAM and LIAM: (laughing)

SAM: You just got roasted.

MATT: It didn't impact you.

LAURA: It didn't?

MATT: No, it only blasted the front of the floor where it was.

LAURA: I could try to fly us over.

TRAVIS: Well, yeah, that better have been for something.

MARISHA: Quickly pop my head back in.

MATT: Okay, as you pop your head back in, as soon as you pull away, the very tip of your nose pulls back as, and the doorway just goes dark.

TALIESIN: It's right outside.

MARISHA: He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

LAURA: I'm going to hold my claws out. If anybody wants to come into my claws, I'm going, I'm going to fly.

LIAM: All right, I'll grab Jester's claw.

LAURA: (squawking)

SAM: Caduceus, go.

TALIESIN: Why me? Oh, okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to cast Step of the Wind again. I'm going to use a ki point, and start hauling ass.

LAURA: I'm going to fly up and try to get over the ballistas.

MATT: With who, with Caleb and?

LAURA: Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Apparently me.

TRAVIS: I can take one person over there as well.

SAM: Wait, we need Beau.

MARISHA: I'm handled.

TRAVIS: She's running around.

SAM: You can jump it?


MATT: So you drop them off there. You guys can land, with your 60 foot distance, about there, and there.

TRAVIS: Where's Nott?

SAM: I'm with you.

MATT: Nott's with you, What are you doing?

TRAVIS: I'm going to cast Thunder Step.

MATT: Thunder Step?

TALIESIN: Hell, let's do it.

MATT: Where do you want to land?

TRAVIS: Just on the fucking crates in the back.

MATT: You land on that space. And you're moving? 45 feet?

MARISHA: Step of the wind. I'm going to haul ass.

MATT: (counting)

MARISHA: Yeah, can second--

MATT: You're going to attempt to--

MARISHA: And then I'm going to jump it. My jump distance is doubled.

MATT: You actually jump over the 15 feet.

TALIESIN: Cure wounds at second level.

MATT: And land off to the side there.

TALIESIN: Here, just take a little--

MATT: You still have an action.

MARISHA: I still have an action. Can I quickly do--

TALIESIN: 13 hit points.

SAM: To who?

TALIESIN: Just to Caleb.

SAM: Just to, just to, just to.

TRAVIS: I mean, can anybody do some healing, or should I pound this thing now?

TALIESIN: I mean, pound it, honestly. It's more useful for me to heal me once you're down, to be honest.

TRAVIS: I'll drink this thing.

MATT: Okay. So you chug the potion.

LIAM: I'm going to chug mine, as well.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I would help you, but I'm an eagle.

LIAM: That's terrible.

TRAVIS: That's great.

MATT: You heal--?

LIAM: Well, Caduceus healed me 13, I think it was, and six from the potion.

MATT: Okay, hand me the potion.

LIAM: Yes, sir. Oh, let me put your potion back in. Here you are.

TRAVIS: It's just what you rolled, right?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: So it's 28 points of healing.

SAM: Oh, I think it's 4d4 plus four.

MATT: Plus four, and then with you, it's plus 16--

TALIESIN: I'm going to whisper in your ear.

MATT: Okay, it's 4d4 plus four, 8d8 plus eight.

TRAVIS: So plus eight, so 34, okay, great.

MARISHA: As an action, can I do a quick investigation check to see if there's any writing, or anything that I can quickly discern that might be in these crates where I'm--

LIAM: I'm going to look for loot in these crates.

SAM: Loot?

MATT: You guys are looting the room, okay.

LAURA: No, we need to look for an exit.

MARISHA: I just wanted to look for writing on the crates.

TRAVIS: I still See invisibility. Is there any runes, or?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Can't I roll an investigation, man?

MATT: You're not close enough. This is just a quick glance.

LIAM: Cocked.

TALIESIN: Is there any weird wall, also?

MARISHA: No, natural one.

MATT: No, you don't see anything. What was that? You and Caleb both still have your movement and your action, by the way.

TRAVIS: Can I use my See Invisibility, also, to see if there's any runish stuff around?

MATT: I mean, seeing invisibility doesn't mean you see everything arcane. Whatever the runes were around the doorway were there, you don't see anything like that, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Detect Magic.

MATT: Yes, Detect Magic?


MATT: Yeah, the two ballista to the left and right of you, super magical, and you sense a couple of small magical sources somewhere in the pile.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go for those sources real quick, just to see what the fuck they are.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'm using my action to rage loot for anything that could help.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

SAM: I would like to rage loot.

MATT: Not you, you used your action casting the spell, so you just now get up to it.

TALIESIN: I'm also going to get in a corner, if possible, if it's possible just to hide a little bit from what the hell's coming, or no, nah, nevermind.

MATT: You're either moving to hide, or you're checking--

TALIESIN: No, I'm checking.

LIAM: 25.

MATT: Okay, you start rummaging through, and you see these broken boxes, looks like this place has been rolled already somewhat, like a lot of things have been cracked open. There's elements, looking around. Okay, you do find a pearl box that's flat and square, about that big, and across the way, you can see a long bronze box that's about that long, it looks like a table leg made of bronze, but that's a little bit away from you to get to. That's all you got.

LIAM: A pearl box and long box.

MATT: Pearl box and the long bronze box. And you're looking around. You just finished dropping them off, Beau just got over there and made a look, I think that's everybody. Nott?

SAM: I'm going to look along this wall for any false doors, or hidden somethings.

MATT: Perception check.

SAM: Perception.

LIAM: Does finding the pearl box include holding the pearl box?

SAM: Perception five.

MATT: Looking around in the vicinity-- If you want to take your time to slowly feel, it'll take you a few rounds to try and check for-- because this is the middle of a timed scenario.

LIAM: Did finding the pearl box include holding the pearl box?

MATT: No, just finding it. You see it there. The purple doorway returns on the opposite side.

MARISHA: Oh, shit.

MATT: Steps through on that end. Everyone roll initiative.

TRAVIS: Send everything.


MARISHA: Burned my maelstrom gloves. Can't do that again now. Unless a minute, has it been a minute?

MATT: The maelstrom gloves themselves, the effect is faded, but there is still crackling purple energy from when you took the power into your gloves that has not been expended yet.

MARISHA: Oh, because I didn't use it.

MATT: And you're not quite even sure what it does. But you still have the thrum of that purple energy that you absorbed from the outside of the tower. So, 25 to 20?

LAURA: 23, I don't want to--

SAM: Does spirit gum ever come off?


TRAVIS: You only have five minutes to remove it before it becomes permanent.

MATT: 20 to 15?

LIAM: 19.


SAM: 16 for Nott the Brave.

MATT: 16, you said?


MATT: 17, and Nott, you have what?

SAM: 16.

MATT: All right, 15 to 10?


MATT: 13, Beau. 10 to five?


MATT: And Fjord. Holding up the rear. All right, Jester, you're up first.

LAURA: Of course I fucking am! What color is his face?

MATT: Right now, green.

LIAM: Poison face.

LAURA: This is going to suck.

MATT: In order to make the doorway work for itself, it had to shut down its anti-magic cone.

LAURA: Right. Right, I'm going to fly up and over the area of doom.

MATT: Okay, you have 60 feet of movement.


MATT: (counting) That's as far as you can get there.

LAURA: I'm going to fly to-- is this within 60 feet of him? I won't be able to tell. well, if I'm flying--

MATT: 60 feet from him is about there.

LAURA: Okay, good, then I would fly about here.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to turn into Jester. I'm going to use my action--

LIAM: Look at that brave little blue tiefling.

LAURA: To cast Command.



LAURA: Having seen Caduceus's.

TALIESIN: Has it been a minute since we got into the room, by the way, or no? No, because it's only just been a few--

MATT: It's been a minute.

TALIESIN: Okay, it's been a full minute.

MATT: It's been a few minutes, like basically, when you guys send it shutting off again, it got pulled really far away from the gravity, and it's been slowly working against that gravity to find its way back to the portal, since it was in the outside of the tower.

SAM: I investigated stuff.

MATT: So-- It's cocked.

LAURA: I'm going to throw up.

MATT: So even with advantage on it, it got a 14.

LAURA: Off? (laughter)

MATT: You see (mechanical humming) it goes to take a step, and then goes dark, and then just holds itself in place there.

SAM: What do we do now?

LAURA: We've got a minute, yeah?

TALIESIN: We've got six seconds.

LAURA: Oh god. Find a doorway!

SAM: Six seconds?

MATT: It lasts for one round.

MARISHA: Caleb, you're on initiative.

LIAM: Caleb goes like this to the two things he found, goes towards the longer box, and rips it open.

MATT: Okay, it's locked.

LIAM: Oh, it's locked?

MATT: You go and grab the box and pull it out, and it's a metal box that has a lock mechanism on it.

LIAM: Shit, which is my action, probably, to pick it up.

MATT: I won't say it's an action to pick it up. Picking up an object is a free part of your turn. You get to do that once, so you haven't used your action. That's over there. So you move about 15 feet. You're behind Fjord now, over there.

LIAM: Okay. (groans) Fuck it. I throw a Fireball down to the back end of the hallway. I throw the box down to my feet.

MATT: Explodes.

LAURA: We've got a whole round of it not being able to do anything.

MATT: Roll damage on that.

LAURA: Turned off.

LIAM: Oh, and I will do it at-- will you let me do it at a higher level?

MATT: If you want to, sure. You may.

LIAM: Yeah. I'm going to do it at 4th-level.

MATT: Fourth level, all right.

LIAM: That's five phalanges. (counting) and then an extra, okay, here we go. Okay.

SAM: How will you know which ones you rolled?

LIAM: 15-- I know. 21.

MATT: The d6s, man.

LIAM: 31.

MATT: The Fireball explodes with extreme anger and fury, as the arcane flames dissipate and the smoke vanishes, you can see the golem, its metallic portions of its body, which is the majority of its parts, are now heated bright orange. Takes no damage, and what elements of it looked slightly scuffed--

LIAM: I healed it.

MATT: Have healed closed.

LIAM: This thing sucks! (laughter)

MATT: That's Caleb's turn. Caduceus?


MARISHA: What was it, Archmage's Bane?

TRAVIS: That's a big bag of dicks, right there.

LIAM: That is awesome.

MATT: Archmage Bane.

SAM: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: How many hit points is that, Matt? Just tell us, because it's fucking shit. We're going to die in a cargo space.

MATT: But you do know, don't use fire now.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: What are you doing, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: I'm going to try, shit, that didn't work.

LAURA: I'm right in its range, too. I'm fucked as soon as it turns back on.

SAM: Are you first in the order?

LAURA: Yeah, but it's going to, yeah.

SAM: Well, you might have one more move before--

TALIESIN: And he's far, far, far away from me right now.

SAM: You went before.

LAURA: That's true, I would have one more move. That's a good point.

MATT: Yeah, and technically, just because of how the spell is supposed to work, just so you're aware, it hasn't shut off yet technically. It's starting to shut off. It doesn't take the action until its turn, technically, so you do the Command, you know it worked, and you see it flickering, and when it takes its next turn, it's going to shut off, just so you know that.

TALIESIN: I'm going to dig those things out of the pile that I see glowing, because--

MATT: One of them Caleb is holding, and it's--

TALIESIN: Oh, it's just the two boxes?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a look at the other box. Is it also locked?

MATT: You go over and pull it out and look, yeah, it is also locked.

TALIESIN: Okay, then I'm going to--

MATT: It was right there in front of you where you've been placed, so you didn't lose any movement, you didn't use an action.

TALIESIN: Okay, then I'm going to back off and-- shit, I'm going to-- I don't have anything that's far enough, that has a far enough range to hit it, do I?

MATT: You are quite a ways away from it, probably well over 100 feet, if not close to 100 feet or more.


LIAM: Also, if it hasn't occurred to anyone, if stands on the pressure plate or whatever for the trap, then it is in a healing fire spot, getting regenerated the entire time.

TALIESIN: But it'll have to turn off its anti magic.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you're 110 from.

LIAM: It will regenerate.

MATT: You did notice that one of them, at least when it fired, shot fire, and the other one shot lightning.

LAURA: We need lightning. It'll hurt it and heal it at the same time--

TRAVIS: Yeah, shoot a lightning ball at it, Caleb.

TALIESIN: I'm looking at Beau, and are you looking like you're-- well, hmm.

MATT: What are you doing, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, I'm just going to hold my action as a heal--

MATT: So you're holding what spell?

TALIESIN: I'm holding a--

TRAVIS: Don't let it waste, whatever it is, heal is important.

TALIESIN: Oh, it's going to hit somebody. But I'm holding a Healing Word.

MATT: Okay, I'll allow it.

TALIESIN: I'm holding a Healing Word.

MATT: Usually it's a bonus action, but I'll allow it.

TALIESIN: I'm backing to the corner. I'm just going to see who needs it most.

MATT: You've got it. Okay, that finishes Caduceus's go. Nott, you're up.

LIAM: I am ill-equipped.

TALIESIN: Aren't we all?

SAM: It's so far away.

MATT: It's just this open hallway, darkly lit by the torches, and the golem on the other side that just slammed through, you see its face sputtering with energy after Jester's extremely confident Command. What are you doing?

LAURA: How are we going to get out of this? We're going to die!

MATT: There is no discernible door you've found, if there is one.

SAM: I think we have to find doors.

MATT: Look at the map.

SAM: I'm going to spend my whole turn looking for doors.

LAURA: A secret door.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

MARISHA: You pick an area, and then I will do another area.

SAM: I'll go over here.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: I don't think we're going to find a door, man.

SAM: A doorman? 18.

MATT: You go through that side and you're looking around the side, it is solid. There is nothing in there, you're looking for cracks or anything. There is no discernible door.

LAURA: What? What is the answer here? What do we do?

SAM: Bonus action hide.

MATT: There are very few chambers in that map that don't have a secondary connection.

TRAVIS: Right.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: So wait, are we in the armory?

MATT: You're in the arcane armory.

MARISHA: It is a square thing, nothing about this tower is circular.

SAM: We have to go out the way we came in.

MARISHA: Son of a bitch, unless there's a door he hasn't found.

SAM: That's true.

TRAVIS: He said there are very few rooms that don't have a second entrance. So there might be, or maybe this is one of the--

MATT: I'm saying this might be one of the very few. Looking at the map, it's one of the few in the map that does not have a secondary exit.

MARISHA: But didn't he also say he was still uncovering hundreds of doors?

MATT: It's possible, it's possible. I'm just saying, whatever it is, Caduceus finished his turn, and Nott, what are you doing?

SAM: Bonus action hide.

MATT: Bonus action hide, all right. There aren't enough boxes to hide in, so you move back into the crates, and make a stealth check.

SAM: The crates. Natural one, oh.

MATT: Well, you have advantage because of your cloak.

SAM: Oh, yeah, that's good, 21.

MATT: 21, you got it, Beauregard, you're up.

MARISHA: Is the box a door, Nott? Is the box a door?

SAM: No, there's no doors over here.

MARISHA: Fuck, okay, I am going to turn around.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Step of the Wind again.

MATT: All right, (counting) that's your general movement to get yourself there.

LIAM: Does she trigger using Step of the Wind?

MARISHA: I jumped. I jumped acoss.

MATT: Right. I assumed step of the wind, she leapt.

MARISHA: I cannot double jump. 45, right, right, right? Dash, dash.

MATT: That's your movement, and then bonus action to move, so you can move all the way up to it if you want.

MARISHA: Yes, for Step of the Wind.

TALIESIN: Oh, good.

MATT: Go for it, okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to see whatever energy, okay, wait, okay. Do I see anything on him as he's powering off that looks like an arc reactor, or a battery, or a sparkling gem?

MATT: All parts of him are connected in some way, shape, or form, have little bits of arcane energy that surge through it, a lot of it's metal with a little bit of a stone covering over it. The face lights up, parts of the joints and where the metal seems to meet light up, and you can see on the inside, there are maybe some sensitive places, yeah.

MARISHA: Sensitive places. Okay. I am just going to--

LAURA: The ray comes out of his face.

MARISHA: Once again, yeah, I'm going to wind up this power, I'm going to do a big fatty uppercut to his jaw.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make an attack.

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: Cause some damage.


MATT: 18 misses. You uppercut, and as your fist hits this front of its chest, it just glides off of the armor, the stone shell of itself too strong for you to impact.

MARISHA: Wait, wait. 19 with the Maelstrom Gloves.

MATT: The maelstrom gloves have worn off, the effect is separate, whatever is on there currently. Even with a 19, it glides off its armor, no impact.

LAURA: Oh my god.


MATT: You have your second attack still, because you're using your action.

LAURA: Try it again, Beau, try it again.

MARISHA: Pop, pop, second attack. This is so fucking fuck that--

LAURA: I'm going to throw up, how are we going to--

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, so uppercut, ow, and I'm going to just counter and do--

MATT: Like Shoryuken?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. I'm going to Shoryuken him with a 25.

MATT: That hits. So go ahead and roll your fist damage, and then an additional 6d6 lightning damage.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay, so I'll do-- 6d6? That's cool, all right, well, I'll start with the basics, nine. And then plus, oh god, oh god. Oh, I can do them all.

TRAVIS: Take your time.

MARISHA: One, two, three, four, five. Oh!

LAURA: That's good, that's good. That's good.

MARISHA: Okay. Nine plus another 10, so 19, plus six, 25, plus another five, 30--

LAURA: 32.

MARISHA: 32, 36.

MATT: Total?


MATT: Nice. As you leap upward, full on jumping, uppercutting, there's a burst of purple energy that arcs off of the fist, blasts up its chest, and as it impacts, you can see the arcs through its body. As you land, the energy is dispersed. That's the one attack you got with that, there's no more energy in your fists. But you did a pretty decent hit on it. You still have your bonus action.

MARISHA: I did Step of the Wind. I did Step of the Wind to get there--

MATT: That's right, so it's the end of your turn. All right, Beau's turn's over. The golem's turn. It shuts down now. So for one round, it is shut down.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Oh, but you could hit it again before it comes back on, that's good.

MATT: That means that Fjord, you're up.

MARISHA: That's true, that's true.

TRAVIS: I will send two Eldritch Blasts down the hall at it--

MATT: What's the range on an Eldritch Blast?

TRAVIS: 120.

MATT: 120 feet.

SAM: Caleb, put the collar around it.

MATT: Double checking the distance here.

TALIESIN: It doesn't use vocal, because there's no, that won't do anything.

SAM: You're right, you're right.

TRAVIS: It should be like at 110.

TALIESIN: I would have cast Silence a long time ago.

MATT: Yeah, you are, it's 120, 115, just within range.

TRAVIS: Step! (fires)

MATT: Yeah. So go ahead and make the strike.

LIAM: What's that range, 120 for that?

TRAVIS: Yeah, 120, why did that go--? My thing goes up here.

TALIESIN: Which one was with the fire, and which one was the lightning, by the way, out of curiosity, with the crossbolts?

SAM: We've got to get through this door.

MATT: Fire was the left side, lightning was the right side.

TALIESIN: Your left.

LAURA: This was the lightning.

TALIESIN: Lightning, fire, gotcha.

TRAVIS: First one was a 21, second one is 25.

MATT: 25 is the first hit, you said?

TRAVIS: No, 21 is the first one, 25 is the--

MATT: Both hit, roll damage range.


SAM: This place sucks, we should leave. Fjord, go!

TRAVIS: 14, 14, that's 12. (groaning)

LAURA: If Fjord doesn't take somebody across, that's-- You guys can fly.

TRAVIS: 29 points of force damage.

MATT: Nice. It's now shut down and both blasts of the eldritch energy have that deeper green, forest green tint to them, impact on each shoulder, and you can see the blast marks it leaves in its armor, as it rears back and almost hits the top of the doorway, actually being knocked off its axis, and is now just leaning there, as its body is solid in place. That's your action?


MATT: Are you going to stay put or are you going to move?

TRAVIS: I will move up just in between the ballistas.

MATT: All righty, Fjord, that puts you over here. All righty, Fjord's turn's over, top of the round, Jester, you're good.

SAM: Get out of here, Jester! Leave!

LAURA: No, I can't leave you, I'm going to run up and step on the other side of the golem.

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

LAURA: That's as close as I can get?

MATT: As close as you can get.

LAURA: Tight, tight, tight, tight.

SAM: Run, you fools, run.

MATT: Fly, you fools!

LAURA: Shit, that was the thing I was going to do, and now I'm not, I can't, it's not within range.

SAM: Just leave!

LAURA: (closed-mouth scream) (high-pitched nonsense)

LIAM: Bork, bork, bork!

TALIESIN: I feel that. I don't know what it was, but I feel it.

MATT: Caleb, you're on deck.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Command again on it.

MARISHA: I caught it with my titty, does that count?

SAM: Just like in Blue Man Group.

LAURA: I cast Command again on him.

LIAM: No, there are no women allowed.

MATT: Okay, your spell, as you shout, finds deaf ears, because it is shut down and cannot listen to your Command word.

LAURA: I was afraid of that.

SAM: Oh, damn it.

LAURA: I was afraid of that. I was going to just say "Stay off," but it didn't work.

SAM and LAURA: And stay off!

MATT: It's just still leaning against the doorway, smoke rising from the impact of the Eldritch Blasts.

LAURA: Balls and balls. Can I use my bonus action to keep moving?

TRAVIS: Can you banish it?

MATT: Unfortunately, that's not an ability--

LAURA: That's not an ability I have.

MATT: Yeah, that's a rogue--

LAURA: I don't have Banishment prepared.

TRAVIS: Sorry.

MATT: Does that finish your turn, Jester?

LAURA: I don't have any real fighting stuff prepared. That's the end of my turn.

MATT: Okay. Finishes it. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: I'm going to start walking up toward Fjord, past him, and as I do so, I am calling out: Jester, anyone, paint, pitch, cover its face. I slide molasses along my hand, and hand in a circle, and I cast Slow on it.

MATT: Slow on it?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, and that is a what saving throw?

LIAM: That is wisdom.

MATT: Wisdom saving throw--

TALIESIN: Can it make a saving throw while it's off?

MATT: Yeah, it still makes it.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay.

MATT: Command specifically because it has to hear the word, and it rolled really high, so.

TALIESIN: I know, I know, I know.

MATT: That's my narrative way for doing it.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fair.

MATT: It rolled really high again.

LIAM: Goddamn it.

MATT: Yeah, that's 18.

LIAM: Son of a fuck.

MATT: Sorry, it resists the slow.

TRAVIS: Good call, though. Good fucking call.

MATT: Finishing Caleb's turn, Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to, really quickly, are those crossbow, do they seem moveable at all, or do they?

MATT: You glance at the base, the bottom half you can see beneath the sheets that are over it, and it looks like there is a rotational element there.

MARISHA: Oh yeah!

TALIESIN: I'm just going to run over to the electric one.

MATT: Okay, over there.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and see if there's a way to aim it and fire--

MATT: You've got to pull the sheet off of it.

TALIESIN: I'll pull the sheet off.

MATT: You yank the sheet off of it. As you do, you can see the design of it. The whole front of it is made of this ivory-type wood, but it's too smooth, there's no striations of it. So it looks, strangely enough, Nott, you, glancing over, see it, you can see this faint glowing elements to it that pulse, and the design of it is weirdly alien and strange. It reminds you of something you saw in Mythburrow, encased in the ice of the dragon's lair.

LAURA: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Iceflex.

MATT: Just something similar about it. Not iceflex.

LAURA: No, no. Remember it was--

MATT: There was just something weird, just something weird. Anyway, just a note. As you pull off the sheet and look, there is actually a seat compartment in it, like a small chair that you can get up into.

LAURA: Do it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to get up, I'm going to get up into it.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Why didn't we do that earlier?

MATT: As you get into it, you can see there's actually a couple, there's a couple levers that you can pull to rotate it and aim, and as you pull them, it whirs a bit. You guys are watching Caduceus go, oh, and start playing with this thing. Go ahead and make an intelligence check for me.

TALIESIN: Oh, god, the worst.

TRAVIS: Come on, baby, come on.

TALIESIN: I can add a d4 to that.

TRAVIS: Come on!

LAURA: But you're so stupid.

TRAVIS: Guide him.

LAURA: I can't guide him, but he can guide himself.

TALIESIN: I can if I will--

MATT: That's an action, though.

TALIESIN: It's an action, so I'm not doing it. Intelligence check.

MARISHA: Come on. Come on, country boy.

TALIESIN: Four. (laughter)

MATT: Okay, all that you know is you see a series of buttons, strange, I wouldn't say buttons, but symbols with levers on them that pull. You see one that's like a weird green symbol, one that's a weird red symbol, a blue symbol, or like a pale blue symbol, and then a bright embossed blue symbol, and then there's a dull, a dull pale green, those are the five. So you have deep green, red, light blue, intense blue, and dull green.

TRAVIS: We saw green, it's that cloud, red is probably fire, one of the blues is no magic, the other one's probably lightning.

TALIESIN: Oh. (stammering)

LAURA: Hit the bright blue.


SAM: Cut the red wire.

TALIESIN: I'll hit the bright blue.

MATT: The vibrant blue?

TALIESIN: The light blue.

LAURA: Or the vibrant blue.

MATT: The middle one, you mean.

TALIESIN: Yeah, the middle one, yeah.

MATT: You hit the middle button. You watch as the sigils on the front of the ballistas begin to, and as they glow, you see additional glyphs appear a few inches away from it that are larger and spinning and clicking together, as they all meet in the center, and it's a brief moment of it holding, and it fires forth. What you can see is a ball of condensed frost energy that fires in a straight line down the hall, right towards the golem. Roll 4d10 for me, please.

TRAVIS: 4d10?!

TRAVIS: Roll better than a four, roll better than a four.

TALIESIN: Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 20.

MATT: 20, okay, it does not make it saving throw, even with advantage, which is surprising, because actually really good at that one. So 20, it takes 20 points of cold damage, and you see frost gather on its body, and it, like there's actually a reminiscent, like a lingering cold effect on it.

MARISHA: That's cool.


MATT: That's your action and movement.

TALIESIN: That's my action, all right.

MATT: That finishes Caduceus's turn. Nott, you're up.

SAM: Seeing that. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

SAM: I'm going to jump into the other one!

MATT: Okay, Nott, you jump over, pull the cloak, the piece of cloth off the other, leap up into its seat, it's a little big for you, but you can lean up over, booster seat-esque, to see. You see the same things in front of you. Make an intelligence check for me.

TRAVIS: Hey, I got one! Nice going, kid, don't get cocky.

SAM: Intelligence?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Seven.

MATT: Seven? You see the same symbols in front of you.

SAM: Captain Tusktooth, permission to fire?

TRAVIS: Permission granted!

SAM: I'll just hit that same one.

MATT: Same one? Ball of blue condensed cold energy fires out once more towards the golem, straight down the center of the hallway. Go ahead and roll 4d10 damage.

SAM: Okay, okay.

MATT: He does make a saving throw this time--

SAM: I've never rolled a d10.

MATT: -- so it's half damage.

SAM: No, no.

TALIESIN: So he half, half damage.

SAM: 20.

LAURA: Crazy!

MATT: All right, so it takes 10 points of cold damage. The same element, of the same frost energy is left around it, that finishes your turn.

SAM: I think so.

MATT: Beauregard, you're up.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah.

LAURA: Pop, pop. (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm just, do I see any weak spots in his armor?

MATT: I mean, you can see, it's built humanoid, and you can gather that there are elements of a body on the inside, where a lot of the arcane forces are. You don't know exactly, but you can certainly try.

MARISHA: I'm just going to keep, yeah, I don't like his mug, and whack, whack, I'm going to keep going for it.

TRAVIS: Come on, this side of beef, break those--

MATT: Be confident with that, be confident.

MARISHA: Two, pop, pop right there. First attack, first attack! Natural one.

MATT: Well, be fair, that's about the gusto you had with that first attack.

MARISHA: Yeah, come at me, come at me.

MATT: You can see its face flickering, preparing itself, and you swing, and it glances off the face, the second strike?


MATT: 22 hits, so roll damage.

MARISHA: Okay, he's coming back on. Uh-huh, 12 damage.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Stunning Strike. He's going to have a stupid con. There's no way.

MATT: He would if he hadn't rolled a natural one. (cheering) So he is stunned.

LAURA: ♪ I love stunning strike ♪

MATT: Not immune to stun.

SAM: Should we flee, or should we just sit here and just fucking kill it?

MATT: After the glancing blow hits across its face, you see, as you get low, holding your knuckles, you look up, and right in its abdomen, beneath the first part of where the stone armor ends and the metallic bits are on the inside, you can see little elements of energy, charging from the inside. You then reach in and punch upward, and just grab and tug, and as you do, it burns your hand a little bit, you're like, but you see it begin to shock and take a moment. It's stunned. So that's your action.

TRAVIS: Got to keep working it, this is an advantage--

MARISHA: Yes, it is. Especially while he's stunned, I'm going to be like: I think he's off for maybe one more turn, and--

SAM: What's a turn?

MARISHA: Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Okay, two more strikes with advantage because he is stunned.


LIAM: Just got to follow up [Inaudible] whole place.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we got to get it now.

MARISHA: Ooh, ooh, ooh! Natural 19, 29.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: Nine damage.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: 26 damage.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Sorry, 26 to hit, 26 to hit.

MATT: 26 to hit, yep.

MARISHA: 10 damage.

MATT: Nice, all right.

MARISHA: Extract Aspects.

MATT: All right. It is immune to poison damage, psychic damage, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from non-magical weapons that aren't adamantine. It cannot be charmed, it cannot be exhausted, it cannot be frightened, it cannot be paralyzed, it cannot be petrified, and cannot be poisoned.

LAURA: Holy shit.


SAM: Wow.

LAURA: And fire heals it.

TRAVIS: Is my sword made from fucking adamantine?

MATT: Non-magical weapons. Magical weapons can still affect it, and that's how you're able to punch it.

SAM: So he can only be hit by lightning or cold, right?

MATT: It's immune to poison.

MARISHA: It's immune to poison, wait, so poison--

MATT: Poison and psychic damage.

LAURA: But radiant and necrotic, it would still get hit by.

MATT: Radiant and necrotic.

MARISHA: It doesn't have a brain to give brain damage to.

MATT: Technically, it is considered, I mean, fire isn't an immunity, fire is an absorption. I'll throw that out there, as well, but you figured that out earlier.


MATT: All right, that finishes your go, Beauregard. All right.

TRAVIS: What's its greatest fear?

MATT: The golem, the face turns on, but it is stunned. That means it can't move, but it goes ahead and turns its face towards Jester, and the anti-magic cone opens up in front of it.

MARISHA: It's back on.

LAURA: I feel so weak and normal.

SAM: Including these, maybe. We can't shoot it with the ballista anymore.

LAURA: No, you can.

LIAM: No, well the magic will get negated.

MATT: I'll leave the piece up here, because this is where it's turning, facing towards--

LAURA: So you could still get it with Caduceus'.

TRAVIS: One of them could.

MATT: So we'll say it's about there, I'll go ahead and leave this here, up, to help just keep this going here. There we go.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: So that brings us to Fjord.

TRAVIS: Yes, I will move forward in front of the ballista and hug the far wall, just on the other side of the column, yeah, put my butt in that corner, and I will fire two more Eldritch Blasts down the hallway.

TALIESIN: With advantage still, because he is--

MATT: With advantage, because he is, yes.

TRAVIS: Great, the first one is a 27, and the second one is a 28.

MATT: Let's see. Let me double check one thing here, too. It's not an action, you just moved its head. Okay, sorry, so what was that?

TRAVIS: 27, and then 28.

MATT: Both hit, roll damage.

TRAVIS: Nine, or no, that's a 14, plus, 14 plus 12, 26.

MATT: 26, nice.

TRAVIS: 26 points of force damage.

MATT: From that side, the impact's blasting. You see its stone armor starting to crack a bit on one part of its shoulder and chest area. It's showing some wear, showing some wear.

TRAVIS: That is my turn.

MATT: All right. Top of the round, Jester, you're up. You can see the blue glow. Its head is turned there, and not moving as it's stunned in place, and it had to turn its head your direction to even send the cone that way.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to move to where I'm not in its cone.

MATT: Which direction?

LAURA: Behind it, away from Beau.

MATT: Okay, so you move five, 10, 15. You're just outside of the cone on that end there.

LAURA: I'm going to get close, I'm going to get right next to it.

MATT: Right next to it?

LAURA: There's so many things to do, but also, I think I'm going to try to do what you guys shouted at me. Do you think that's dumb? I've been a waste of space this whole time.

SAM: What, you're going to leave?

LIAM: No, Caleb, shouted out to throw an ink pot at its face.

LAURA: I'm going to pull out my paints, not my magical paints, just some regular paint, and I'm going to paint it all over his face, like black paint, to try to cover up where the beam would be.

SAM: Regular paint, regular paint.

LAURA: Is this really dumb?

MATT: No, give it a shot, all right, go ahead, and I'll say roll a performance check.

SAM: Come on, come on, come on, come on.

LAURA: Eight, I mean--

SAM: What?

MATT: Okay, you paint across it, Banksy it real fast. It now has all these black smears across it of dark paint.

SAM: Paint him blue so he can look like me earlier tonight.

MATT: Nobody wants that. Nobody wants that.

TALIESIN: Nobody wants that.

LAURA: And then I'm going to, as my bonus action, cast Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Okay, just so you're aware, you mark it with paint, and the blue sigil still shines through. The effect is strangely more powerful than paint. Sorry.

LAURA: Surprising, but--

SAM: You did great, you did great.

MATT: But it was a worthy shot, it was a worthy shot.

LAURA: You know, you've got to think sometimes. Okay, fine--

MATT: From the non-magical paint, anyway, so there you go.

LAURA: But I could have used magical paint on his beam.

MATT: I know.

LAURA: It would have just gotten, yeah, so fuck it. I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: At a 3rd-level.

MATT: And where do you want it?

LAURA: Behind his head.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: And he is going to hit it.

MATT: Go ahead and roll it.

LAURA: That would be 25.

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage with your Spiritual Weapon.

LAURA: 11 points.

MATT: 11 points of damage, nice. Slams into the back of its head. The cone shifts slightly from the impact, and then it moves back to where it was. That finishes your turn. Caleb?

LAURA: Should I roll with advantage because in case it's a natural 20?

MATT: That's true, yeah, just in case you want to go, natural 20--

LAURA: Nope, I didn't.

MATT: No, but yeah, good call, Caleb?

LIAM: How high is the ceiling in here?

MATT: 40 feet.

LIAM: 40 feet, okay. A catmint in hand, a small spectral Frumpkin floats in the air above it for a second, then a giant hand, down from above.

MATT: From whereabouts?

LIAM: From above its head.

MATT: Above it?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right, we'll say right there, you got it.

TRAVIS: It looks awesome in that light.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's got a vibe.

TRAVIS: Got a little Kirby going on. A little Jack Kirby.

MARISHA: Yeah, it does.

LIAM: And that is 4d8. 10, 17, 25.

MATT: 25, to hit?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, that hits.

LIAM: Oh, do I have to roll to hit, or it just hits?

MATT: For the claw strike, I think you still have to roll to hit.

LIAM: Make a melee, thank you, sorry, it's been a while.

MATT: It's okay, but you're rolling damage. You do have advantage on the attack because it is stunned.

LIAM: Good, good. 11 plus, oh, I haven't used this spell in forever. Come on, catch up with me, spells. That is a 20.

MATT: 20 just hits.

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: So what's the damage on that, that is--

LIAM: 16, 22, 26.

MATT: 26 points of damage, what type of damage?

LIAM: Slashing.

MATT: Slashing damage.

LIAM: 28 total.

MATT: Got you. The claws arc into it, and streaking across its armor, the metal twists from the impact, as it curves down the back of its head and its shoulders. Yeah, you carved a pretty decent chunk into it.

LIAM: I'm going to go hide behind Nott over here.

MATT: Okay, you got it. That brings us to Caduceus.

TALIESIN: What's the other blue one do? (clicks)

MATT: All right, well, make an intelligence check for me.

TALIESIN: Oh, all right.

TRAVIS: Come on.


MATT: Five.

TRAVIS: (yelling) Four and a five?!

MATT: Yeah, you're like-- so you just hit the other blue? All right. The runes that glow, but they're all matching the color of this sigil that you're pressing and pulling the lever on, and as it does, it centers, a single arc of lightning, the one that you saw when you first arrived, across the chamber, the entire length of the chamber into it, slamming into it. Go ahead and roll 6d10 for me.

TRAVIS: 6d10!

SAM: Come on!

TALIESIN: Nope, that's not a d10, yeah, if you've got, actually, if you've got one more even.

LAURA: Yes, I do, here, hold. There you are.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Hey, that's exciting!

LAURA: Oh, that's so good.

TALIESIN: All right, let's see, that's 18.

LAURA: Holy shit.

TALIESIN: That's 18, plus 16, plus 14, my brain can't do math right now--

LAURA: Hold on, hold on.

SAM: 48.

TALIESIN: 18, plus 16, plus--

LAURA: 18, 27, 35.


SAM: 42, 49.

MATT: 49 points of lightning damage.

TALIESIN: Nine, nine, eight, eight, seven, seven.

MATT: He does succeed on a save, so it takes 24 points lightning damage. It blasts into it, and then expands into a large blast, radial lightning energy. I need both Beauregard and Jester to make dexterity, sorry, make constitution, no, dexterity saving throws. You have disadvantage because you're wearing metal armor.


SAM: La la la la, la la la la la la.


MATT: You take 24 points of lightning damage.

MARISHA: Was that a success or a failure?

MATT: That was a success.

MARISHA: Evasion, no damage.

MATT: You take no damage. You just push your way--

TALIESIN: I am so sorry if you--

MATT: Jester.


MATT: Six? You take 49 points of lightning damage.

TALIESIN: So sorry!

LIAM: Bigby's Hand, or Cat's Ire, wocka wocka, rolled a 14.

MATT: 14 is a failure, so it takes 49 points of lightning damage.


SAM: It has as much as you.

MATT: The problem is not understanding this stuff sometimes, and experimenting with it.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's interesting, okay, not that again.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah--

TRAVIS: There's a purple button?

LAURA: No, there's a--

TRAVIS: Two blues, a green, a red, and--?

MATT: Yeah, there's a deep green, a red, a light blue, an intense bright blue, and a pale green.

TRAVIS: Pale green.

LAURA: It's probably, like, poison.



TALIESIN: I'm just going to yell over: Okay, experimentation is bad, deep blue, apparently. Sorry!

MATT: Caduceus' go. Nott, you're up.

SAM: I don't have a clear shot without going into the anti-magic field.

MATT: You're not sure, from what you can see, the blue is heading your direction. It's hard to tell, you wouldn't know unless you tried it.

LAURA: Can you wheel the thing?

LIAM: Bank shot.

SAM: Sure, if I can't tell, I'll take a shot with that--

TRAVIS: Just shoot Jester--

MATT: Make an intelligence check for me.

LAURA: Yeah, that's true.

SAM: 11.

MATT: 11, okay. Yeah, still not quite sure exactly what and how things work with this yet.

SAM: You feel like I feel now, frustrated.

MATT: So what do you do?

SAM: I'll just go with the same one, blue. Light blue.

MATT: Okay. It fires forward the ball of condensed cold energy, and it just vanishes at the cusp of its visual range, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Worth learning.

MATT: All right, you staying put?

SAM: Yeah, it can't do anything to me.

MATT: Okay, finish Nott's turn, Beau, you're up.

MARISHA: Is he still, he's still stunned till--

MATT: Till the end of your turn.

MARISHA: My turn?

MATT: Correct, it's fucking balls.

TRAVIS: This is the only chance we have.

MARISHA: Pop pop. 28, naturally.

MATT: 28 hits.

LAURA: Do you still have ki points?

MARISHA: That sucked, seven. I do still have ki points. Second-- oh, can I re-stun him?

MATT: If you want to.

LAURA: You've done it before.

LIAM: Come on. Beauregard.

LAURA: It's smart. Do it.

LIAM: Do it, nerd.

LAURA: We're going to die--

MARISHA: Re-stun.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Stay off, stay off.

MATT: That is a 17. What's your DC?

MARISHA: Nope, he succeeds, he succeeds, use that, yeah, yeah, that's fine, confirm. Get rid of that, it's fine, it's fine. He's still stunned, pop pop, 25.

MATT: Hits.

MARISHA: 11 damage.

MATT: 11 points of damage.

MARISHA: Stunning Strike.

MATT: Again, okay.

MARISHA: I'm just going to, I'm just (grunts). I'm just going to like carve through him.

MATT: 16?


MATT: Is it DC 16, just enough.

TRAVIS: That's it, right?

MARISHA: My ki save is 15.

MATT: Oh, got you, so a little bit above it.

MARISHA: Right, yeah, yeah, it's still 15. God, we're so close.

LAURA: Are we? (laughter)

MARISHA: Flurry of Beaus!

SAM: Oh, branding!

MATT: Okay, how many more ki points do you have after--


MATT: Three more? Nice. All right, so go ahead and roll for your next two attacks.

MARISHA: Because we rested, so I got them back.

MATT: That's true.

MARISHA: Pop pop. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that was--

MATT: You do have advantage on these, remember.


MATT: 26 hits.

MARISHA: Another 11.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Last one.

LAURA: Were you trying to Stunning Strike him again?

MARISHA: 25. No.

MATT: 25 hits.

MARISHA: Eight damage.

MATT: Eight damage, all right, all these impacts, you can see the armor cracking more, the stone work's starting to give, and parts of the metal beneath are starting to bend. You can see elements where its joints are starting to grind into each other, as his body's starting to regain its movements.

MARISHA: You know what, you know what, yeah, yeah. I'm going to spend one more ki point at the very end of my Flurry of Beaus-- Flurry of Blows, as I'm just hammering away, and I'm going to just try and concentrate one last one, and try and aim for a pocket, and Stunning Strike him again.

MATT: That's a 16.


MATT: He's got a pretty high constitution, you gathered.

MARISHA: I figured.

MATT: Rolling okay middle ground and is still getting out of it, so--

LIAM: Yeah, it bought us some time, man.

MATT: You did, all right, that finishes your turn?

MARISHA: That finished my turn.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I will-- no, yep, yep, no.

MATT: Its turn, it is no longer stunned.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right, that's fucking--

LAURA: That's what it feels like.

LIAM: I'm not sweating it. I'm having fun.

MATT: It's going to. Put the cone there to prevent any of those things from firing at it. It's now also going to turn towards you. No, I'm sorry, not you, you're not there, Beauregard, and it's-- You know what, it's going to attempt to, its fist, this side is going to punch towards Beauregard, and its claw's going to go for your throat.

MARISHA: This is going to hurt.

MATT: So the fist goes towards you, Beauregard. Natural 20.

SAM: That's going that hurt.


SAM: Are you already down?

MARISHA: I'm down only by two points, I think.

LAURA: It could still knock you out. I could totally knock you out.

MARISHA: He totally could knock me out, because he did how many points? Yeah, because he does double damage.

MATT: 38 points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: Doubled, or is that with the double?

MATT: That's with the double.

MARISHA: Okay, okay.

MATT: You get slammed into the wall, and your vision swims, and you stumble back into the place you were as this pulls back. The other attack's going to go towards you, Jester.

LAURA: I'm looking at you like--

SAM: (vocalizes)

TRAVIS: Yeah, like holy fuck, you just got smashed.

MATT: 17 to hit.

LIAM: I can see it--

LAURA: Oh, he misses, he misses me!

MATT: Shit, okay, all right. So as the claw reaches towards you, you just duck out of the way, and it clinks right above your head, gliding off of your breastplate as you turn the shoulder away.

LAURA: Like imagine slow motion and Beau, it's just you and me, just--

MARISHA: Ah! Yeah!


MARISHA: I see that, and I see her, and I'm like: No! As you duck, and then I'm going to, a little dazed, just go-- with Sentinel.

MATT: Oh, yeah.

MARISHA: He attacked Jester, so.

MATT: Go for it, roll for an attack.

MARISHA: Fucking.

LIAM: A bloody mess.

MARISHA: Oh, he's not stunned anymore?

MATT: No. Though you do have a pincer attack, technically with Jester.


MATT: 22, that hits.

MARISHA: 11 points.

MATT: 11 points of damage, all righty. All right, that ends--

MARISHA: And he cannot move.

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: Wait, I might, wait--

MATT: He is going to make a save real fast to see if he can resist the frost effect that was on him. And he succeeds. The frost drifts off of him--

LAURA: But he did a melee attack against me.

MATT: He did.

LAURA: So I think as my reaction--

TRAVIS: Hellish.

LAURA: I get to do Hellish Rebuke.

MATT: You do.

SAM: Hellish Rebuke.

MATT: Did it hit you, or does it attack you?

LAURA: A creature did damaged to you.

MATT: Yeah, it didn't damage you, unfortunately.

SAM and LAURA: No rebuke.

MATT: Unfortunately, trust me.

LAURA: Rebukeless. Oh yeah. I'm pretty low. That would have sucked.

MATT: Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: I'm going to pull out a little eldritch fingers, and do nothing.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: What?

TRAVIS: There's a cone.

SAM: Hold your attack?

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure. I'll hold Eldritch Blast--

MATT: So as you put your hands up, you're like (whirring). (laughter) Clutching the sword in one hand--

TRAVIS: If I see an opening.

MATT: You got it. All right.

TRAVIS: The cone move.

MATT: All right. So you're holding your Eldritch Blast, Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Are you close to dead?

LAURA: I am, I mean, kind of, but I want to try to help other people before this. So I'm going to cast a Command on it, now that its ears are--

MATT: Okay. And what's your Command?


MATT: That's cocked, no, it's a fail.


Got a lot of good resistances, except for the wisdom.

TRAVIS: It's great, it's great.

MATT: (powering down)


MARISHA: Or Eldritch Blast.

TRAVIS: (firing)

MATT: Go for it, go for it.

TRAVIS: That one misses, that's 24.

MATT: 24?


MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: 15 points of force damage.

MATT: Nice. As the rune is flickering, that finishes your held action, that's your action.

LAURA: Oh, for my bonus action, I'm going to hit it with my Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Roll for an attack.

LAURA: That is a 20.

MATT: 20 hits, that just hits.

LAURA: 10 points.

MATT: 10 points damage. After the blast in the front of its chest, you can see most of the stone armor has broken away, and now it's just the metallic, iron adamantine pieces beneath. So now it's like-- you know when in Avengers 2, when you see the broken Iron Man armor that Ultron's taken over, it's like that version of this golem now, where all the stone has fallen away, and you can see all the under parts of the metal sparking together. That brings us to Caleb's turn.

LIAM: So yeah, the claw just raises up and slashes down onto its back.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Does it have advantage because he's shut down, or--?

MATT: Technically he doesn't start until the next round. Like the rune's flickering off, but he's not shut down until his next turn.

LIAM: Oh, well, then I probably just missed, then, because that is just 12.

MATT: 12, nope.

LIAM: Doesn't work.

MATT: It streaks across the back of the armor, but doesn't leave any impact, a couple of marks.

LIAM: That's my bonus action, I see that, say scheisse! then I go and grab the pearl box behind me--

MATT: Okay, you grab it. It's in your grasp. All right, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: I've got a clear shot with the cold without hitting anybody?

MATT: Seems to be.


MATT: Yeah. Roll an intelligence check for me.


LAURA: (laughing) Oh my god.

SAM: And three.


MATT: Nine.


MATT: All right, all right. But, what are you doing?

TALIESIN: Cold button again.

MATT: The middle one? (laughter) The same sphere of cold blasts forward. Go ahead and--

LAURA: If you just hit this one, you'll be dead instantly.

TRAVIS: There's a deactivate--

TALIESIN: There is a deactivate button.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: How many?

MATT: This is 4d10.

TALIESIN: 4d10. That's not bad-- yeah, that is bad. 20 points.

MATT: 20 points?

LAURA: That's not bad, that's half.

TALIESIN: That's not bad.

MATT: All right, it impacts, and you can see, it expands into this sphere of cold. I need both Beauregard and Jester to make constitution saves, please.

LAURA: What, again, from the cold one? I thought we only, that only--

TALIESIN: But that was--

MARISHA: Did we have to do that before?

TALIESIN: It didn't do that before.

MATT: Yeah, it should have.


TALIESIN: Oh! Well, if I'd known that, I would have--

MATT: Well, it would have happened last round, anyway, so.

LAURA: What is this, a constitution?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: That's poop for me.

MATT: It does make it save, so it takes half damage. What'd you roll for damage?


MATT: 20, so it takes 10.

LAURA: 12.

MATT: 12, take 20 points of cold damage.


MATT: 10, 20 points of cold damage.

TALIESIN: No more cold damage apparently, okay.

TRAVIS: No more shooting the gun.

TALIESIN: We're going to knock that off.

SAM: That's what I was going to do, though.

TALIESIN: That's why I'm yelling that at you with my bonus action.

MATT: All right, Caduceus, your turn's up. Nott, you're up.

LAURA: Maybe your intelligence will help.

SAM: Can I check for--

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

SAM: Okay, 15.

MATT: 15?

LAURA: Oh, thank god!

SAM: Oh my god, oh my god! This is a fucking novel! Arcane cannon, you got acid, you got fire, you got frost, you got lightning, you got poison. What do we know about it?

MARISHA: We know--

TRAVIS: Acid, lightning, cold would work.

MARISHA: And it's immune to poison, and it's immune to psychic, and heat it absorbs.

LAURA: Anything-- it's all area of effect.

SAM: Each creature--

MATT: Acid is actually in a line.

LAURA: Oh, acid is a line?

MATT: 300 foot line.

LAURA: Oh, great! So it doesn't do an area of effect?

MATT: Correct.


SAM: And it's okay with that-- I mean, it's resistant to acid, or--?

LAURA: No, it's not. So yeah, acid, dissolve it.

SAM: I don't-- it doesn't say what color it is.

MATT: Well, you know looking at that, you don't have to worry about the color now, you know exactly what each switch does.

SAM: I have a feeling that acid is good.


MATT: All right, so you pull the far left lever, you see the sigils glow that same deep green color, and the front as it swirls, and then fires a five foot stream of condensed acid that sprays down the center of it like, which does hit your cat hand. Which I need you to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw, as does the golem. Which fails, as it's not very dexterous.

SAM: Give me some tens.

LAURA: And it's also shut down.

LIAM: 16 for Cat's Ire.

MATT: So 4d10. What was it, 16?

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16, that is a success.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: That's the worst it could ever be.

SAM: 11 points.

MATT: 11 points of acid damage to the claw and the golem.

LIAM: How much was it?

MATT: 11.

LIAM: 11.

SAM: The worst.

MATT: However--

LIAM: Does the acid cling--

MATT: At the start of each of its turns, it continues to dissolve it for 2d10 every turn.

SAM: Okay, okay.

LAURA: Oh, that's good.

TRAVIS: That's the button.

MARISHA: That's good, that's good.

MATT: Marking--

TRAVIS: That's the one.

MARISHA: That he's got acid on him.

TALIESIN: Just no one get in the way.

MATT: Acid on the claws, acid on the guy.

LAURA: Really nasty.

MATT: Exactly, all righty, that finishes your turn, Nott?

SAM: I think so.

MATT: Beauregard, you're up.

SAM: I'm going to drink my drink for the rest of the turn.

MATT: You got it.

SAM: And just spin around, woo, like does this thing go in 360, or no?

MATT: No, it (imitates clanking) to one side.

SAM: Oh, I'll just go back and forth.


MATT: All right. (laughter)

MARISHA: I'm going to slip to behind him, where I'm not going to plant my fists in acid, and pop, pop.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Two robo kidney shots. God, that's garbage, both of them, 13 and 20.

LIAM: 20 hits.

MATT: 20 does hit, yes.

MARISHA: First one misses. Also garbage, seven.

MATT: Seven, all right, so the second hit, your action makes an impact. You barely pull away before the acid drips onto your hand. You still have your bonus action.

MARISHA: It's broken down for one more round, right?

MATT: It is shut off, yes.

MARISHA: It's shut off? I'm going to spend another ki point to do Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: I just really want to get this thing dead. I think it's the best--

TRAVIS: Is this your last one? You got one more after this.

MARISHA: I've got one more after this.

MATT: Two more attacks.

MARISHA: Two more attacks.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

MARISHA: A natural 20.

MATT: Nice.

MARISHA: And an 18 for a 28.

MATT: All right, both hit, so roll for the regular attack, and then the critical--

MARISHA: Regular. Regular, okay, it's 12 damage. I wish that would have been-- Okay, okay, okay, okay. Eight plus another six--

LAURA: 14?

MARISHA: Eight plus six is 14.

MATT: 14, all right.


SAM: Is that double?

LIAM: No, that was the first attack, Matt said.

MATT: No, no, no, it was you rolled four on the dice, the dice became eight, and then plus--

LAURA: Oh, oh, got it.

MATT: So they're good on that, okay, so as you pummel into it, you reach and you tear out some more of the cabling on the inside that's holding it together, it's looking really rough. Really, really, really bad. That finish your turn, Beau?


MATT: All right. Now it's the golem's turn, at the top of its turn, it takes 2d10 damage, go ahead and roll the damage for me, Sam?

SAM: I will.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Seven points.

MATT: Seven points of acid. You can see the metal starting to pock and burn. It's looking really bad. That brings us to the golem. It shuts down from the Command, Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Kill it, kill it!

TRAVIS: 24, and the other one misses.

MATT: All right, go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: Come on, Fjordy.

TRAVIS: 13 points of force damage.

MATT: It's looking real hurt.

MARISHA: Damn it!

MATT: All right, is that your turn, Fjord? All right, Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Oh, okay, bonus action. I'm going to Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Roll for an attack.

LAURA: Natural one, cool.

MATT: Oof, whiffs.

LAURA: Great, and then I'm going to--

TRAVIS: Right there.

LAURA: Jesus.

MARISHA: I know, I know.

LAURA: Oh, man, second level, Inflict Wounds. I'm going to reach up and aim for that area that Beau's been attacking, I'm just going to stick my hand in.

MATT: Yeah, as Beau pulls the cables out and you can see sparks, you're like, "Ah" and you reach into grab it, and immediately you feel your hand go numb. Go ahead and roll for the attack.

LIAM: Oh, geez.

LAURA: It's not going to hit, it's not going to hit.

SAM: Nine?

LAURA: No, that's a 13.

MATT: Yeah, you try and reach up, and immediately, it shocks your hand, you're like, (hisses) and pull back. It hurt too much--

LAURA: That hurt me!

MATT: Anything else on your turn?

LAURA: No, it is my bonus and my attack, that's all I can do.

MATT: Okay, Caleb, top of your turn, go ahead--

LIAM: Cat's Ire.

MATT: Hmm?

LIAM: Cat's Ire.

MATT: Well, it takes 2d10 points of acid damage.

LIAM: Oh, so it's going to go. Go ahead and roll for it.

SAM: Everybody's turn?

MATT: Top of the Caleb's turn.

LIAM: I thought it was at the end.

SAM: This is on you.

LAURA: Oh, that's your thing. Got it, got it.

LIAM: It's gone, it's gone.

SAM: 13.

LIAM: Cat's Ire's gone.

MATT: Yeah. It melts the hand.

LAURA: Do you have anything other than fire?

LIAM: High level stuff, and I don't know what's left in this place.

SAM: What lies ahead.

TRAVIS: We're going to have to rest.

LIAM: They look like they've got it.

LAURA: Like whoa. This is a good place to rest, though.

MARISHA: Yeah, it is. It's pretty--

LIAM: Yeah, I see Beauregard beating the shit out of this thing, so I go and grab that long box, and just trust that they've got it.

MATT: You got it, so you go ahead and move over and grab the box. You're over on this side there. Pull it out from the corner space there. All right, Caduceus, you're up.

SAM: The acid one!

LAURA: Acid!

TALIESIN: This one?

SAM: Yeah!

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

TRAVIS: Come on, six.


TRAVIS: What the fuck! (clamoring and laughter)

MATT: He says acid, you don't know what to hit. What do you want to touch?

SAM: Do acid with me.

TALIESIN: Which one is the acid one, I don't know, I don't know which one's the acid--

MATT: Which lever do you pull?

TALIESIN: If I don't know which one to pull, I'm not going to--

MATT: There's the dark green, there's the red, there's the light blue, there's the intense blue, and there's the pale green.

TALIESIN: I'm not going to push any of them. I'm just going to stare, like, I don't know what to do, this is all--

SAM: Hit something!


LAURA: Pale green, pale green.

TALIESIN: I'm actually-- uh.

MATT: What are you doing, Caduceus? Are you holding off?

TALIESIN: I'm going to hold off. I don't like any of this, no.

MATT: Okay, all right, got it, so you hold off on your turn. Nott, you're up.

SAM: Acid! (laughter) Which, by the way, is the what color?

TRAVIS: Pale green.

SAM: Pale green?

MATT: Dark green.

SAM: Dark green!

TALIESIN: That would have gone real well, wouldn't it?

MATT: That would have gone real bad.

TALIESIN: The smart people would-- you know. Sometimes the best thing is just to sit and stare for a while. Thank you.

TRAVIS: Just a six.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

SAM: I will hit this button just with my pinky. Boop!

MATT: All right. (laughter) It sprays the line of acid down the entire chamber, spraying the top of the ceiling, dripping into the middle for a second. It strikes into the golem. It's going to go ahead and make its save. Doubles and natural fours, fail. So go ahead and roll 4d10 points of acid damage.

TRAVIS: Come on, come on, come on, come on.

LIAM: Oh, big rolls.

SAM: Batter, batter.

LAURA: Ooh, yeah, that's good.

SAM: 26 points of damage.

MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering)

SAM: Oh, boy, oh, boy.


SAM: I'll sort of arc the acid so it hits the ceiling a little bit, and it drips down and melts it from above.

MATT: As it sprays onto it and covers it in the caustic solution, you see it beginning to turn back on, the front of its sigil beginning to brighten up blue once more. As it takes a step forward, you see its torso begin to bow inward, as its head sinks into its torso, the inside of its body losing its cohesion. It begins to just burn and sizzle and smoke, caustic fume burning off of its body, and with its secondary step, its whole upper torso area folds on itself onto the ground, and slowly begins to just melt into a pile.

LIAM: Except for the thumbs up. (laughter)

SAM: Oh my god. And then I'll just go back and forth a bunch of times. (laughter)

LIAM: And Beau and Jester melt into the--

MATT: Yeah. And we'll go ahead and take a break there. (groaning) At the end of that intense chase.

MARISHA: That was awesome.

MATT: Man, creatively saving the fucking day.

SAM: Command.

TALIESIN: Why didn't you just say dark green, man?


MATT: All right, we'll come back here in a minute, after a break. We do have our giveaway this week. We unfortunately do not have it physically with us, but from our friends at Wyrmwood, we do have the Coffin Dice Vault, featuring monster art by Crystal Sully.

TALIESIN: Coffin Dice Vault. They're hot.

MATT: It's available for two weeks only on the Kickstarter. You can go to Wyrmwood's current Kickstarter to see what it actually looks like, but tonight's word is tower, T-O-W-E-R. Put it in once, more than once, you'll be disqualified, and once again, people in the US and Canada only, excluding Quebec because of stupid laws. But we'll have a winner shortly, back here in the Twitch chat. We'll see you guys in a few minutes.

TRAVIS: Amazing! (cheering)


(upbeat music) ♪ You've got the perfect warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ ♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're so disorganized ♪ ♪ You click open the webpage ♪ ♪ You heard about on Critical Role ♪ ♪ And now you're ready to kick some butt ♪ ♪ In that mineshaft full of gnolls ♪ ♪ It's D&D;, D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond, yeah, D&D;, D&D; ♪ ♪ Yeah, D&D; Beyond ♪ ♪ You got your stats, you've got your swords, ♪ ♪ and you got your invisible wand ♪ ♪ It's D&D;, D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond ♪ WILL: Hey, everyone, the insanely talented Will Friedle here. I'm excited to announce that I have a new late night talk show coming to the Critical Role YouTube channel on Wednesdays called Mini Primetime. It's brought to you by the same creators as that one show with the hippy kid with the bracelets, whatever that is. Anyway, my show, Mini Primetime, is a mini painting show for beginners and veterans alike, where this handsome face teaches the Critical Role cast how to paint their own Mighty Nein minis. We're going to be focusing on specific techniques, like fades, small detail work, and taking your mini to the next level by adding to your base, so look for it soon on Critical Role's YouTube. Critical Role, what is that, what is even a critical role? Oh, that's right, that was the show with Kash. (jazzy saxophone music) (dramatic orchestral music) (slow guitar music) TRAVIS: Our Father, we gather here as strangers, brought together by gold, now bound by fate and fear. We remain steadfast in our bodies and in our minds, but this evil we face now meets us ill prepared. For guidance, we ask you now, for protection, not just for our lives, but for our very souls. Be our light as we enter the darkness. (slow guitar music) MARISHA: Oh, hello, Pub Draw enthusiasts, Babs and I just wanted to let you know that right now, at, you can pick up this beautiful Follow Your Art Heart pencil case. You can put your art supplies in it. BABS: You can put makeup in it. MARISHA: Dice. BABS: Anything you want. MARISHA: You name it, it goes in this case. BABS: Adorable case. MARISHA: Follow your art heart. BABS: Bye. (slow electronic music) (slow stylized country music) BRIAN (V.O.): Last time, on Talks Machina. TALIESIN: You've got to be truthful, I mean, you've got to know how to do it. If you're lying all the time, then what's the good of it? You've got to save your mistruths for those moments when it's just going to help make somebody a better person. BRIAN: That's what I do. TALIESIN, MATT, and DANI: (skeptically) Yeah. (laughter) TALIESIN: We don't do this often enough, man. MATT: I know! BRIAN: All three of you. MATT: It's amazing. (laughter) BRIAN: At the same time for the exact same duration. (laughter) Oh my god. (laughter) I feel called out. TALIESIN: Good, that's, yeah. BRIAN: Good Lord. So question for Matt. MATT: Yes. Up until now, references to the first campaign have been little more than easter eggs. What made you decide now was the time to introduce the first major character from Campaign One into the story, and why did you specifically choose Allura? MATT: It was less of a choice of like, now's the time to introduce something, and more figuring out the situation in the world, where if they went to Yussa, the state they'd find him in, and how they would be able to... to kind of really figure out the circumstances they themselves have found themselves in, and how to help him. It could have been just finding notes, but that also-- knowing how careful a mage like him would have been to not leave behind a huge paper trail, to things like this, it made more sense that he would probably have to call an ally in. And beginning to think about allies, there aren't a lot of mages on this continent that are unified, that aren't part of the Cerberus Assembly. And I was like, well, it'd be kind of fun if he was at least allied somewhat with the Arcana Pansophical, and then thinking of that, I was like, I guess it'd be kind of fun to have Allura in, especially with the party having kind of, as intense as the past few sessions have been, I thought it all made sense, and it would be a fun little moment to kind of throw a little bit of that old Campaign One charm at them, so. BRIAN: That eyebrow is so disturbing to me, Matthew. TALIESIN: When he does that? Yeah. BRIAN: It's so disturbing. MATT: It's fine. BRIAN: Don't do it. TALIESIN: I can't look at you. BRIAN: Don't do it. TALIESIN: Oh, God. BRIAN: No, no, no, no, no. Do it again? Ugh. All right, we got it, we got it. Hey, what role does Caduceus see himself playing in Fjord's new journey with the Wild Mother? Wait, have we not had Taliesin on since that happened? TALIESIN: No, I-- they've kind of had backlog, so they kind of gave me a little break. BRIAN: Does he view himself as a spiritual guide, a big brother, or merely an observer? TALIESIN: Definitely there will be a bit of a spiritual guide. He's looking for moments to have some conversations and then reward some behavior, and kind of help him. Right now, what he wants to talk to Fjord about, which he hasn't yet, is the, like, this isn't over, you've not been given a cure. You've been given a way of walking forward to deal with this thing that's going to be the rest of your life now, so let's have a conversation of what the rest of your life looks like, now that you're doing this. BRIAN: Yep, I understand. TALIESIN: And hopefully help you with that, but yeah, that's definitely-- I think Caduceus suspects that Fjord thinks he's fine now, or at least is kind of hoping that it's fine now. Having the-- no, no, no, no, no, there's work to be done still. MATT: Which is so different from pretty much every other character I've played with you as, and so-- TALIESIN: This is very off for me, yeah. MATT: But it's been so fascinating and fun. It's a whole different energy, and you're-- TALIESIN: I'm having fun. MATT: You can tell. You can tell that you're enjoying it thoroughly, and every time you come in with a delightful quip or a Caduceus reaction that is very much on par with his-- TALIESIN: This is my version of Grog, at this point. MATT: Kind of, yeah. BRIAN: Oh, interesting. TALIESIN: Yeah, it's a lot-- it's like-- yeah, I can get away with a lot of things I wouldn't normally be able to get away with. MATT: It's pretty great, I'm a fan. TALIESIN: I'm having fun. BRIAN: I'm a fan too. I know, it makes me almost happy Molly died, because now we have-- TALIESIN: Wow. No, wow, so dark. DANI: Wow. BRIAN: I said "almost." TALIESIN: So dark. BRIAN: It's Halloween, man, nobody knows what's going to happen. I also said "almost," you know? TALIESIN: Molly's going to come back and exact his revenge on Halloween night. MATT: There you go. On Brian W. Foster-- TALIESIN: Yeah, on Brian W. Foster. MATT: We're going to storm his bedroom-- TALIESIN: The ghost of three-- three D&D; characters. BRIAN: Well, I'll keep my ears out in the middle of the night for that distinguished accent. (laughter) TALIESIN: How long were you sitting on that, because damn! Wow. BRIAN: The last eight minutes of total serious conversation. TALIESIN: That's so solid. BRIAN: Matt? MATT: Yes? BRIAN: Oh, no, Dani. DANI: I know. (laughs) BRIAN: Dani? DANI: I know. BRIAN: Okay, I read just the question, I didn't read the-- DANI: The name? BRIAN: How do we transition to this? TALIESIN: You can't. DANI: I mean-- BRIAN: Okay, Matt. DANI: There's no ability. Matt, and I promise you, this is not one of my other internet accounts. We have a question from CalebsFamilyBBQ. TALIESIN: Ohhh. (laughter) BRIAN: If I feel bad, if I feel bad, something's wrong. DANI: I'm sorry! TRAVIS (V.O.): Last time on Yee-Haw Game Ranch. BOTH: Well, hell-- (both screaming) TRAVIS: What the fuck, what the fuck? TALIESIN: Welcome to Yee-Haw Spooky Ranch. BRIAN: Yee-Haw Spooky Ranch, there's no way, we were just in Jungle Ranch. TALIESIN: A friend of yours left a message, where is it? Ah, yes, hold-- (grunts) TRAVIS: Oh yeah. BRIAN: Oh, it looks like a message. TRAVIS: The dexterity on this fucking thing. BRIAN: Wow. TALIESIN: "Dear cardboard face and chosen one. "If you are receiving this message, "it means that the tome of realmportation was successful." BRIAN: Wait, you don't think it's-- you don't think it's Bast'Alar, do you? Do you think he knows him-- TALIESIN: Did you say Bast'Alar? TRAVIS: Well-- TALIESIN: Now, there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. TRAVIS: What the fuck? BRIAN: What, you know Bast'Alar? TALIESIN: Ha! Know him? Well, not by that stupid moniker he uses now. I knew him ages ago, a simpler time, when he was known as Mitten McFlufflyfloof. BRIAN: You're telling me that creature's name was once Mittens McFluffyfloof? TALIESIN: Are you really surprised? He hasn't always been the ascended one or whatever. BRIAN: What, ascended one, how do you know him-- TALIESIN: A long time ago. TRAVIS: Oh God. BRIAN: The fuck? TALIESIN: Before he rose to power-- TRAVIS: He's monologuing. TALIESIN: We were just stray kittens living on the streets of Neo Game Land. TRAVIS: Fucking where? TALIESIN: When you live on the streets in a place like that, you learn quickly that you need companionship to survive. TRAVIS: Oh, they were lovers. TALIESIN: We hunted together, ate together, and kept each other warm on cold nights. TRAVIS: They were fucking. TALIESIN: I always accepted my fate of being abandoned on the streets, but he could never come to terms with it. That's a story for another time, swamp cooler breath. (laughs) BRIAN: My goodness. TALIESIN: Now. TRAVIS: You've got a-- TALIESIN: It is time for you to charge our game soul with your laughs and your screams. (cackling) (cat coughs) TRAVIS: You're looking kind of-- (cat coughs harder) oh, oh, shit, oh. TALIESIN: Excuse me. (hacks) BRIAN: Are you vaping, sir? Is he gone? TRAVIS: Somebody wants to hit him with something long-- BRIAN: Where is he? TRAVIS: There he is, that guy. BRIAN: He just exploded all over my face. TRAVIS: Yep, that one, well, I don't think that's, again, the way we want to phrase it. BRIAN: That's what happened. Oh, what is this? Is that cigarettes? TRAVIS: Don't open the door again! Look, there you go. BRIAN: Oh, it's ammo. Wow, oh my god. TRAVIS: Dude, the spookyverse rains candy. BRIAN: Dude, this place is amazing. TRAVIS: This is the best thing ever. Ah, big bear, big bear chasing me. BRIAN: I got him. TRAVIS: Big bear chasing me. BRIAN: I got him. TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're in trouble. Here, I'm going to get over to-- and I'm going to help you up. BRIAN: Where is he? Aah, let me at him! TRAVIS: I'll help you out. Oh, God, you're walking around with a doll. Do you know how fucked that is? BRIAN: I mean-- TRAVIS: If somebody sees us, they're going to shoot us. BRIAN: It's not that far off from real life. TRAVIS: Two people with white jumpsuits, walking around with dolls? BRIAN: Creepy ain't a crime. (both screaming) Was that mine or yours? You still have yours. Do I still have mine? Whose was it? Can we go in there? I don't want to go in there, but can we? TRAVIS: I don't want to play anymore. You piece of shit, (screams) I'm going to get you. BRIAN: Did you get it? TRAVIS: I got it. (stammers) BRIAN: How did you do it? TRAVIS: I ran him down. BRIAN: Dude, you ran over it? BRIAN: (nervous noises) We're good. TRAVIS: Are we supposed to be-- BRIAN: We're good, we're good, we're good. A key-- (screams) Fuck! TRAVIS: Oh, what the fuck is that? BRIAN: Fuck! TRAVIS: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. BRIAN: Oh, I threw the doll at her and she took it. Fuck, shit! Oh, fuck, dude, dude, dude, is she dancing? TRAVIS: Stop looking at her, dude, stop looking at her. BRIAN: Okay, can I kill her with the pen? Oh, god, oh, god, how do I run? Oh, fuck me, dude, get me out of here, get me out of here, get me out of here, man. (screams) TRAVIS: No, I'm not looking over there. BRIAN: Look. TRAVIS: No, I'm not looking over there. Nope. BRIAN: Look. TRAVIS: Nope, nope, not doing it. BRIAN: (screams) TRAVIS: I'm alive. BOTH: "You are a doll"?! BRIAN: I'm a little doll now! TRAVIS: What is that? BRIAN: Fuck, dude. TRAVIS: Is that you? BRIAN: It's me! TRAVIS: Come here, can I pick you up, you little piece of shit? You little Toy Story motherfucker, come here. Come here, Woody. BRIAN: You can't get me. I have wood. How do I use my wood, Jerry? TRAVIS: Can I take this rapier? BRIAN: Dude, watch, watch, look, I can jump super high. TRAVIS: Holy shit. BRIAN: Later! TRAVIS: Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Why am I walking so slow?! Oh, please fucking run. Is that her? (both screaming) TRAVIS: Oh, shit, oh, fuck. (both screaming) BRIAN: Whoa, that looks cool, look, look, look. You're stuck, look, but you're still alive. (screams) Hey, look, look at me, dude, yeah. (laughs) (dramatic orchestral music)

Part II[]

MATT: And welcome back, so, before we get into it, we have our winner of our Wyrmwood giveaway. The winner tonight is HCHunter18. (cheering) HCHunter18, congratulations, we'll get that to you ASAP, well done. All right, so as the adrenaline subsides in the calm, still interior of the chamber, the only sound right now reaching your ears is the hissing and bubbling of the liquefying metal on the opposite end. Jester and Beauregard a little worse for wear, a little frazzled. You all take a moment to yourself, as there is not danger chasing you from doorway to doorway any further.

TRAVIS: That we know of.

MATT: That you know of.

TALIESIN: How many people are hurt?

MARISHA: (groans)

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm going to start a--

SAM: I'm fine.

TALIESIN: -- 10 minute Prayer of Healing for anybody who wants one.

LAURA: Yeah.


LAURA: Hey, Nott?

SAM: Yes?

LAURA: Do you see a button on how to turn that thing off, so that we don't die if we walk on that area on the floor, kind of thing?

SAM: Caduceus, maybe we can aim them so they're off to the side or something, or is there an off button?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: Can we bring it with us?

SAM: 25.

MATT: 25? You don't see an off button, but there is some sort of a-- something is feeding it a mass amount of arcane energy. Looking at the design of this, you get the sense that it shouldn't reload so rapidly, but something is feeding it this arcane force, and there may be a way to disable it. It's dangerous, but it's possible.

SAM: "Dangerous but possible" is three of my middle names.


TALIESIN: 15 hit points to whoever wants it.

TRAVIS: Bless you. Thank you.

SAM: I will try--

LIAM: Well, a question for you, we're going to maybe hole up in here for the night?

LAURA: Yeah, let's try to take a little sleepy.

LIAM: So if anyone's going to keep watch, and that's the only entrance in, maybe the folks who stay up man these.

LAURA: Oh, that's a really good idea.

SAM: Sure, we'll sleep over here--

TALIESIN: We could take a look at those boxes, maybe, see what's in them?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we should work through those boxes before we sleep.

LIAM: Yes, that is correct--

SAM: But for right now, Jester and Beau are on the other side of the death floor, so.

MARISHA: How's it going on that side of the chamber?

SAM: Can they come back, can we just aim these away, until they walk across?

TRAVIS: This would be a good time to just split the team permanently, just maybe smoke them right now.

SAM: This is a sign?

TRAVIS: They're down there.

MARISHA: This is where we split ways, right here?

LIAM: Caleb turns into a gigantic owl--

LAURA: It's okay. Beau is the best fighter, and I can just keep healing you, so we're good.

MARISHA: Honestly, we kind of tanked that fight, I felt like, literally, it felt like.

LIAM: As Beau is bragging, she's being carried by the butt by a giant owl across the room.


LIAM: She never stops, I notice.

MARISHA: I did not ask for this.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And ferries them both across.

SAM: Liam, that's not what an owl sounds like.

LIAM, MARISHA, and LAURA: (terrible hooting imitations)

SAM: Yeah, that.

ALL: (terrible hooting imitations) (terrible hooting imitations)

MATT: Sure, yeah, well go with that, that's fine.

ALL: (terrible hooting imitations)

MATT: All righty, so you've all been carried across the dangerous threshold these devices are connected to, you've rotated them to face outward, and you have the center of the chamber here at your disposal. What are you trying to do now?

LIAM: Caleb lands, and his head turns 360 degrees.

SAM: (screams)

LIAM: (whooshing)

MARISHA: Technically...

LIAM: Nott, could you--

SAM: Why, of course I could.

LIAM: Unlock this for me, please?

SAM: Yes. (trills) I will try to unlock, nope, not checking for traps, just trying to unlock it, 25.

MATT: 25, okay. You are attempting to just disable this device?

SAM: Without care.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: You, with 25, manage to disconnect it from this power source, and as you--

SAM: Oh, no. This is the box.

LIAM: The long box.

MATT: Oh, I misunderstood, sorry, the long box, 25? Yeah, you fiddle with it for a little bit, and it opens on, as you finish the lock, the cap pops open.


LIAM: Slide it out, what's in there?

MATT: There is a dark metallic rod about that long. It has a bit of twilight, like a sparkling element to the metal, and at the very end of it, you can see, there's like this small domed carving to the base of it, but it's like a metallic rod, about a foot and a half, two feet wide.

TALIESIN: I don't like anything that we find here.

LAURA: What do you think it does?

LIAM: I don't know, I'm not going to test it out.

SAM: Of course you're going to test it out.

LAURA: Can't you like look at it really hard and figure out what it does or something?

LIAM: Maybe I will do my homework like I always do, and know ahead of time what it is, instead of decapitating you by accident.

MARISHA: You want to hit me with it, see what happens?

LAURA: No, but you're already pretty bloody right now.

LIAM: I set it down on the ground, and then put the, box with a pearl in it, or a pearl box, what did you say before?

MATT: It's a pearlescent box, like the cover of it shimmers in the little bit of firelight.

LAURA: It matches the way that the ballistas look, you said they were also pearlescent or something?

MATT: Kind of--

LIAM: Ivory.

MATT: Ivory is what they look like. This is more pearlescent, so they don't match the devices, necessarily.

LIAM: I'm going to pull my book out, put it on the floor, spend the next 20 minutes figuring out what these things are, if I can. I cast Identify on both of them.

MATT: Okay, identify on the box, it is a box that contains things, it is not magical, and it is locked.

LIAM: So I spend 30 minutes-- okay, locked, okay, so within, after 20 minutes, I ask for your help again.

SAM: I would gladly help you, Caleb, if I roll high enough.

LAURA: Oh, Guidance.

SAM: Too late, 22.

MATT: 22, you do manage to eventually get that one open. It opens up on the inside, and you can see a very thin golden circlet. It has like a spiral design at the base of the center piece, and there's a slight bit of a green gem that's fixed in the center, and it just rests across the brow.

LAURA: Ooh, ooh, put it on me.

SAM: That's an item of atonement.

LAURA: Put it on me, I want to see--

TALIESIN: Everything here is bad.

LIAM: But what if it gives you a curse, and gives you four extra eyes?

SAM: Put it on the rod and then hit her with it.

LAURA: What if it makes me look like a princess?

MARISHA: Both are kind of hot sounding.

LIAM: You already do. I'm going to do my homework. So I put it down, and I cast Identify on the things on the ground.

SAM: (fake cough) Nerd!

MARISHA: No fun.

TRAVIS: Can I go to the base of the cannons, and see if they are mobile in any way, and able to be detached from the floor?

MATT: Make an investigation check for me.

SAM: Do you have skateboard wheels?


MATT: 18, looking at them, they're currently placed intentionally in their current location. They could be made mobile with the right alterations, but that would require an engineering spark and some time. They're siege weaponry, they're not intended to be easily mobile.

TRAVIS: They're staying here for a minute.

LAURA: I'm going to spend as much time as I have investigating the walls, looking for secret doors.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check for me.

LAURA: Guide-dance.

SAM: Super cocked.

LAURA: That is super cocked, okay. ♪ Still pretty shitty! ♪ ♪ Hold on, let me find the four. ♪ Not that it matters. I know it doesn't matter, but I still want. (laughs) Eight.

MATT: Eight, all right. You spend a good 30 minutes going across the entirety of the chamber that's safe, feeling along the walls, checking the edges. And no secret doors reveal themselves, no--

LAURA: No secret doors in this place, you guys, woof.

MATT: Caleb?

LIAM: Yeah?

TRAVIS: Unless it's in the floor.

SAM: Oh, Boise. We'll find out what those are in about three weeks.

LIAM: They're pretty short. Cool, cool, cool.

SAM: What'd you find, Cay?

LIAM: Well, this is helpful for many of us, and requires attunement.

LAURA: Which one is the one that you're talking about?

LIAM: The bigger one.

LAURA: The circlet, or the wand thingy?

LIAM: The rod is bigger than the circlet. This is, it gives you a little more juice magically, and gives a couple of spells to use, and this one makes you smarter. Who wants it?

LAURA: Smart, huh?

SAM: Oh, after today, it looks like Caduceus could use it, but.

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

SAM: Are you, though?

TALIESIN: I'm smart enough.

SAM: For most of that fight, you were drooling.

LAURA: Who needs the most smarts, don't you need smarts, Caleb, or you, Beau?

LIAM: I'm set in that department.

LAURA: You're as smart as you could possibly be?

MARISHA: How smart?

LIAM: 19, guys, 19.

LAURA: And it would get you to 20?

LIAM: I'm already a 20, so it does not help me.

LAURA: Oh, it would take you to 19.

MATT: Whoever wears it--

LIAM: Has a 19.

MATT: Has an intelligence of 19.

LAURA: That's major.

TALIESIN: I mean, that's scary, good god.

LIAM: Is your spells based on intelligence?

SAM: They are, but my spells aren't very powerful, so if, are your spells based on intelligence?

LAURA: No, wisdom.

LIAM: Investigation.

MARISHA: It does feed into Beau.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Really?

TALIESIN: How much does it boost you?

MARISHA: All of my Cobalt Soul stuff is like a little bit more, but--

SAM: It will make my spells higher, but my spells--

LAURA: Do you use intelligence, Fjord? No, you use charisma.

LIAM: What would this even mean for Caduceus? Who would that guy be?

TALIESIN: I don't know who that would be.

LAURA: Caduceus is incredibly intelligent already.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm perfectly fine with--

LIAM: This is Liam talking, what would that guy be?

TALIESIN: No fucking-- I would just start wearing sweater vests and have a pipe.


MATT: Other than that, no change.

TALIESIN: You see, the fundamental change is, of course, whether or not--

MATT: You're the brain gremlin from Gremlins 2.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, it's the brain gremlin at that point.

MATT: Talk a little bit, what's going on in this room? I think there's some fascinating--

TALIESIN: Please, let's, if you must.

MATT: I've seen the movie a few times, shut up.

LIAM: This is IQ. If it were EQ, I'd keep it.

TRAVIS: Maybe we sell it.

TALIESIN: What is the, well.

LAURA: I mean, I can wear it for the time being, if you guys, nobody else would use it. It would do nothing for me.

SAM: Well, then don't wear it.

LAURA: But it will make me look like a pretty, pretty princess.

TALIESIN: Beau, what do you think?

MARISHA: What's your intelligence at, Marisha to Sam?

SAM: Nott to Marisha says: My intelligence, my intelligence is at 16, oh my god, where am I, what are these cameras doing here?


SAM: (yells)

MATT: He's gone too deep.

SAM: (yells)

TRAVIS: Hit him, hit him. (laughter) Spin the top.

SAM: Right now, it's 16. So 19 would be more.


SAM: But not by tons, right, it would be plus four, instead of a plus three.

MARISHA: My intelligence is 14.

TRAVIS: You got to attune to it, right?

LAURA: See, you should wear it.

SAM: So you would go from plus two to plus four?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Wear a circlet.

SAM: But what would that get you?

MARISHA: No, it's not very much my aesthetic. It would bump up my investigation.

SAM: By two points.

TRAVIS: Maybe you can wear it on your calf.

MARISHA: So investigation would be eight.

MATT: May be able to bend the circlet to a design that more befits you, you don't feel like you have to change your aesthetic for a magical item.

TRAVIS: Put it on one of those guns, yeah?

MARISHA: Yeah, it would just mainly, it would boost up my skills, so--

LAURA: Put it on, I'm going to, I'll do your hair around it and stuff, I'll make it look cool, okay, Beau?

MARISHA: I don't have a full attunement.

TALIESIN: Oh, right, then--

LAURA: Put it on, I'll just, I'll fix your hair around it, you'll look super cool still.

MARISHA: Okay, because it's not really, this is a little princessy.

LAURA: I know, that's why I like it.

TALIESIN: You can do a leather wrap.

SAM: Or like a tight, a tight--

MARISHA: Ooh, can you make it look like a choker?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: I'd allow it. Sure, it's a neck band of intellect.

MARISHA: Here, I'll let you do your thing first.

LAURA: It's real swirly. Okay, I'm going to add some cool leather wrap around it and stuff to make it look like a leather headband thing, and then, yeah, but I'm going to make it above the hairline, and then I'm going to tie your braid, like, make braids in cool things--

MARISHA: You're tying it, like wire wrapping it into the braid?

LAURA: Yeah, wire wrapping it into your hair.

MARISHA: That's kind of cool.

MATT: That's kind of cool, all right, I'll allow it.

SAM: Or a huge nose ring. (laughter)

MATT: This gargantuan septum piercing just dangling.

LAURA: It goes below, like under the, undercut--

TALIESIN: Who runs the border town?

MATT: That'd be pretty awesome, okay.

MARISHA: Okay, am I getting this?

SAM: For now.



LAURA: It's going to be a real bitch to get it out, so if anybody wants it.

TRAVIS: What about the rod?

TALIESIN: What's the rod do?

LIAM: Well. You know. Almost any of us could use this, so I will let you decide. It makes it easier for you to throw spells at things, and it has three spells that you get to use.

LAURA: Which spells?

LIAM: Here. Take a look at the paper.

SAM: Ooh.


TALIESIN: Are you sure you don't want this?

SAM: Oh, that's a cool spell, oh, these are all cool spells.

LIAM: I do want it, but I am full up, and need the things that I have.

SAM: I think that's for both of you, not for me.

LAURA: Well, this could also be for Fjord.

LIAM: For Fjord, yeah. Any of you, except for--

TALIESIN: Who's not full up?

SAM: For those who care, this is the Rod of the Solitary Scout.

TRAVIS: Well, I have two spell slots, so anything that has spells in an object would be amazing.

LAURA: I mean, it says it's the Rod of Solitary Scout, two bonus spells and attack roll. So this is good for people scouting ahead, it gives you Expeditious Retreat, Grease, and Magic Mouth. It'd be really good for people sneaking.

LIAM: It'd be very good for Nott.

SAM: Like me?

LIAM: Yeah, you. Those spells are your kinds of spells, they're tricky.

SAM: But a plus two bonus to spell attack rolls would help you.


MATT: Spell attack rolls help--

SAM: Fjord?

MATT: Then you couldn't use a shield. Because the rod, to hold the rod, it does have to have one hand to use.

LAURA: Oh, so it'd really be me or Caduceus, or--

MATT: Well, it's up to you guys. I'm just saying, you could use the rod.

MARISHA: Do you want to?

LIAM: I mean, any of you could have it holstered to your back, and pull it up when you want to use it. I would probably recommend it for Nott, but it would work for any of us.

TALIESIN: Nott, I feel like it's, yeah, one of you two.

MATT: Do you have any spells that do spell attack?

SAM: No, I don't think so, not yet anyway.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Grease is awesome.

MATT: Well, if you ever did, that would help. Otherwise, it would help--

SAM: Shocking Grasp. That's it.

MATT: That's one.

LIAM: I mean, Grease, Magic Mouth, and Expeditious Retreat are great Nott spells.

MARISHA: Expeditious Retreat is a dope spell that is not to be ignored. That was one that I slept on as a druid for quite some time, and I think you can cast it--

LIAM: It saved my bacon on Avantika's ship.


MATT: Magic mouth's pretty fun. You get to leave a Sending spell at a location, and with a certain trigger, and when it triggers, it says 25 words, but it stays for every time it's triggered. So that can be fun or ridiculous.

TALIESIN: I feel like I want to see what you do with that.

LAURA: Yeah, you could do some really cool things with it.

SAM: For now.

LIAM: You're clever, you're creative.

TALIESIN: You have, and you have a slot?

SAM: No, but I will if someone wants to take the Dagger of Denial.

LAURA: What's the dagger of denial?

SAM: That's the one that can lock things.

TALIESIN: I think whoever has a slot.

LAURA: I've got two slots, I don't have--

TRAVIS: That door in the Arcane Armory, where the golem came through, there was no keyhole on there, right? It was like a portal.

MATT: There were two doors that were open, and the portal was behind the door, so the doors never closed.

SAM: Well, you have attack spells.

LAURA: I do.

TALIESIN: Do you have a shield, though?

TRAVIS: Did we disable the floor in the hallway, did we disable the floor--

SAM: No, we did not disable it, I don't know how. I guess I could go look.

TRAVIS: How many spells have you got?

SAM: Huh?

LIAM: How many spells do you know?

SAM: 11.

LIAM: That's three more spells.

SAM: Oh, I would love it.

LIAM: It diversifies your portfolio.

SAM: I would love it, but, you know. We can talk about this later.

TRAVIS: I'm 80 feet from the doors, could I just see maybe in the keyholes underneath the handles?

MATT: Just as a note, just so you're aware...

TALIESIN: See, I would be--

MATT: Hang on, I have to double.

TALIESIN: Especially if you don't have a lot of--

MATT: Let me double check something on the crossbow.

LAURA: I only have one thing attuned, so.

MATT: So you reload a crossbow with a free hand, just as a head's up.

MARISHA: How much does it give to your spell attack?

MATT: So you have to decide between switching if you did it, so just be aware of that, it's fine, but.

SAM: You can't have because of a shield?

LAURA: No, I can have it because I have a shield, and I don't use a weapon, I cast. So I could use a wand for my hand.

TALIESIN: Then you should take it.


MARISHA: I think Jes would--

MATT: It's up to you guys. I mean, just saying, if you wanted to spell cast, you'd just have to put your crossbow away, probably, or swap them to use it, it's not a huge issue.

LAURA: I'll hold it for now.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: We'll talk about it. Okay.

TALIESIN: Plus two, man.

LIAM: Also, before we sleep in here, I would like to try to examine and investigate this collar, to see if it-- collar-- to see if it is completely destroyed and broken, or if it could be reconstituted, yeah.

MATT: Make an arcana check.

TALIESIN: Also, the machine isn't doing anything, right? It's still a smoldering--

MATT: Yeah. The golem is destroyed.


LIAM: Balls, I rolled a two It's a 12.

MATT: It's hard to tell. Its design was intrinsically tied to the golem.

LIAM: A dead fly that flew off your page, I'm sorry, that was gross.

MARISHA: What, me?

LIAM: Yeah, you went, and this thing went, anyway. You were saying, Matt?

MATT: You killed it with your paper.


MATT: Congratulations. The device was tied to the golem, as far as its design, so you're not sure if it, with the golem destroyed, it's no longer powered or not. You didn't roll high enough to really tell whether or not it still manages to function.

LIAM: Okay, I'm still going to fiddle with it before bed. Not roll anything, and hold onto it.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's it.

MATT: All right. You guys are taking a short rest here?

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Are we sleeping?

MATT: Long rest?

LIAM: Hey, are we resting?

TALIESIN: Are we at the point, in effect, time wise, are we at the point where a long rest would make sense?

MATT: It's up to you guys.

TALIESIN: I mean--

LIAM: But how long has it been since we, how many hours does it feel--

TRAVIS: We got to go back through the Tower, through the Golem Workshop, through the Experiment Chambers, through the Heart Study.

MATT: I'll say between waking up, getting ready to leave in the morning of Rosohna and everything that happened with Essek before you left, I'd say it's been about probably eight hours since you guys woke up.

TRAVIS: We should do it, we don't know when we're going to find another safe space--

TALIESIN: No, this is as close to--

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's not be dumb.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, I agree.

TALIESIN: Also, I've got a strange idea. Why don't we put the dome right against the door, so that whatever comes through can't use, if we get another golem, won't be able to un-magic everything.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: It's tricky because it probably can't expand into another plane. I assume we're on a different place than where we were.

TRAVIS: Also don't want anything to try and figure out to go underneath it, right?

LIAM: So if we were to jut the-- I'm just thinking of the mathematics of it, sorry, this side of it up against the door would just be open to the inside of the dome. I think it's better just to cover us. We would still be covered.

TALIESIN: We'd just be putting one side of the dome right up against the door, is my thought.

LIAM: But it would continue to go down, and through the door is another--

TALIESIN: No, no, no, it's just the door, and then.

LIAM: Does it go flat?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it'd slope down into the bottom--

MATT: It's like this, so there'll be-- it'd be against the door, but there'd be like an open--


TRAVIS: I don't think it blocks as much as you think it does. I think it's probably like--

TALIESIN: That's probably true.


MATT: But whatever you guys want to do.

LAURA: Where are you putting the dome?

TRAVIS: We're going to put it between the cannons, right, so we have--

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay, good.

LIAM: People who are-- oh, he's alive.

LIAM: Oh, God.


LIAM: That's what Matt said.

SAM: No, he's on Marisha's head!

LIAM: Well, you did swat him.

MATT: Good.

TRAVIS: I don't want to smote your head.

MATT: That would have been great, all right.

LIAM: Anyone who's keeping watch, take lessons from Nott on how these cannons work, and man them.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Or woman them.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Yes, it's implied, Nott.

MATT: Okay. So the dome will only last for eight hours, so there'll be somebody who takes watch that spends four hours sleeping outside of the dome.

TRAVIS: First watch, four hours.

MATT: And it's also four more days of time that passes by.

MARISHA: If you haven't done any research into quantum physics, it's actually--

LAURA: If we take a watch, you mean, if somebody--

MATT: You guys take a watch, for everyone to get a full rest, it's 12 hours--

LAURA: Let's not take a watch.

MATT: Just so you're aware.

TRAVIS: I don't need a long rest.

LAURA: You don't?

TRAVIS: No, I just need a short rest.

LAURA: But you'll be exhausted if all of us keep going.

TRAVIS: One level of exhaustion.

MATT: Eventually, you still have a few-- a little more time before you start hitting exhaustion levels. So you guys are sleeping a little early in the day--

LAURA: Okay, then yeah, let's do that.

MATT: Okay, so you keep a watch?

TRAVIS: Light green, right?

MATT: All right, so you guys go ahead and take a long rest.

LAURA: I've got to manage my fucking spells, Jesus.

SAM: Long resting?

MATT: That's eight more days that have passed in Exandria.


SAM: Oh, shit.

MARISHA: Oh, wait, we should probably check in with Allura, right?

LAURA: Yeah, she's probably wondering where we are.

MARISHA: She probably thinks we're dead.

TRAVIS: Or do we save that for when we really need it?

LAURA: No, I should--

TRAVIS: Like a smart ass--

LAURA: Well, no, because this thing works--

MATT: Are you doing it before you--

LAURA: Yeah, I'll do it before we take a long rest, because it works--

LIAM: Three times per rest?

LAURA: Three times per 24 hours.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Which 24?

MATT: It's considered your relative one.

MARISHA: We've used it once?

LAURA: We've used it once. Okay, we'll use it when we wake up.

MATT: Okay, you guys go ahead and take a long rest. Fjord, go ahead and make a perception check for me as you take your watch.

TRAVIS: Not a problem. 18.

MATT: 18, okay. A quiet, lonely contemplative eight hour period of you sitting in the chair of the arcane cannon, looking out ahead.

SAM: Oh, sorry.

MATT: It's fucking--

SAM: ♪ The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme ♪

MATT: Uneventful, and you spend time to think about yourself, where you are, your friends, what you're after, how Yasha might be, who she might be, debating your own internal conflict of what to expect, should you cross paths again. What the Angel of Irons is, and all the information you've gained and still seek. And that time, just spend thinking on it all, as well as this newfound path with the Wild Mother and what that means to you, and you and Caduceus, and the future ahead. But you all complete your long rest without incident. You wake up, just as the dome vanishes. There is no sunlight, there is no sense of time, except for with Caleb. You all get a big groggy as you come to consciousness, bringing whatever semblance of a meal you want to prepare for a quick breakfast here in the middle of this, whatever this room may be.

SAM: So if we leave here, we'll have to go back up the tower, right?

TRAVIS: To that door that had the--

SAM: Past the gears.

TRAVIS: Past the gears.

LAURA: The greenish blue.

SAM: How are we going to get past the gears? Do we have--

LIAM: Hopefully we can take our time a bit more. We were rushed, out of preservation, unless there are more of these things.

LAURA: Well, there's a whole golem whatever, so there probably more of them.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, golem workshop.

MARISHA: So does this mean we're going to have an army of these things chasing us by the time we--

TRAVIS: Probably at least a handful.

LAURA: But now we know, at least, don't use fire.

TRAVIS: Comedy comes in threes.

LIAM: Against them, yeah.

TRAVIS: Or against that one.

MARISHA: And that was the one that saw us when we entered. Maybe if we just try to avoid being seen by any more.

TRAVIS: Is it also tracking our magic use? Is it tracking the mirror, does it just hate life? Who am I?

LAURA: I'm going to use the mirror.


SAM: You need sleep, Fjord. (laughter)

LAURA: I'm going to use the mirror.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Hi-i-i-i-i-i! Allura?

MATT: "Hello, yes."

LAURA: Hi, so it's probably been a while there, huh?

MATT: "Quite a bit, I'm happy to hear from you, is everyone all right?"

LAURA: We are not dead! Here, everyone say hi.

TRAVIS: Hi, Allura!

MATT: "Thank goodness."

LAURA: We just took a sleep because we were really almost about to die.

MATT: "Of course, I'm glad you didn't, well done. How goes it. Have you found Yussa yet?"

LAURA: No, but we did find a room where we couldn't get out of.

MATT: "Do you mean you're stuck, as well?"

LAURA: No, we are about to go through the door. We just want to let you know where we were and stuff.

SAM: Use Disguise Self and turn yourself into an animoji.

LAURA: No, I don't want to waste it.


TRAVIS: Ask her if she sent anyone else in after us.

LAURA: Did you send in anyone else in after us?

MATT: "No, I'd given myself a two to three week period of time of no communication before I did so."

LAURA: That's probably smart because each of our rests, when we go to sleep, it's only a week, right?

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA: So then I will let you know if we wake up because I think I've got one more of these uses of this mirror before we don't have it anymore.

MATT: "Well, be sparing and careful. Keep me updated."

SAM: Flip it this way so she can see all of us--

LAURA: Oh, sorry, yeah, if you turn it to the side, you'll get a better-- no, you need to turn yours to the--

MATT: "I turn this-- Does that work?"

LAURA: Yeah, that's better.

MATT: "All right, that is better. I don't know why, I've always turned it the other way, this whole time."

TRAVIS: Grandma. (laughter)

LAURA: Did you learn anything else? It's been a week.

SAM: "What the fuck are you doing there?"

LAURA: Are you still at his house?

MATT: "No, no, I've returned to Tal'Dorei. There are many things I am tending to. This is just one of them."

LAURA: What are you doing right now?

MATT: "Do you really want me to go into it?"

SAM: What's Tal'Dorei?

LAURA: It's another continent.

MATT: "We're fine. I'm dealing with political business, and trying to--"

LAURA: I'm trying to look around and see where she is.

MATT: She begins to move it away, showing-- Nevertheless, please do keep me updated. When you are deciding to return, just go ahead and notify me and I'll meet you back at the tower."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Everything else all right?"

LAURA: Yeah, it's a real--

LIAM: It's very difficult in here. You were right to stay out.

MATT: "I assumed it was--"

LAURA: It's like everything here is made to where you get punished if you use magic.

MATT: "Sounds about right, yes."

TRAVIS: Does she have any cure-all's against golems?

LAURA: Yeah, the golems that seem to absorb flame and also will Dispel Magic and make it to where we can't do magic--

MATT: "There actually is one kind of secret failsafe to these entities. I would recommend staying away."



TRAVIS: That's very funny.

MARISHA: She used that one like a week ago.

TRAVIS: Ha, ha, Tal'Dorei humor.

LAURA: We tried that one. It didn't work, though.

MATT: "It doesn't always work."

LAURA: Anything else?

SAM: I mean, if she hears about any goings on in the Empire or the Dynasty--

LAURA: Then just send me a message or something.

SAM: Let us know.

LAURA: I have this thing where I can send a message to you any time at all, so if you have that, if you can do that because you're pretty powerful, I think, if you can do that, you can just do that for us--

SAM: I'm sure you have stuff on Tal'Dorei, but Wildemount is the most important continent in the world, as we all know, so just let us know what's going on there.

MATT: "It is a curious one, certainly. I have some worrisome thoughts about some of the things you mentioned about this Angel, but I think I need your assistance to confirm some of these things, as well as, I think I mentioned some sort of, I would say effects of this friend of yours you mentioned."

TRAVIS: Yasha.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Something--something to connect with, something to pull the information as an anchor from, but just tell me when you return, and we'll go over this."

LAURA: All right. Okay, well, we're going to try not to die some more.

MATT: "Please continue that, I would really appreciate that."

LAURA: Okay, anything else--

MARISHA: Does she want a souvenir or something?

LAURA: Do you want us to grab anything for you?

MARISHA: Yeah, hey, look, I've got a new braid wrap, she put it in--

LAURA: Look, look, look, look. Do you see it, it's cool--

MARISHA: It made me all smart and shit.

LIAM: Clearly.

MATT: "I do know exactly what such a device is, and yes, if you see anything else like that, please, I would not be against taking it into my--"

LAURA: This is my wand. We found a wa-- what?

LIAM: Ask her if there's any news of the war.

LAURA: (whispers) Is there any news of the war?

MATT: "Yes. There has been a series of attacks on some of the military... siege installations within the empire. There was an assault on some of the weapon creation factories in Hupperdook."

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: "In the middle of the night--"

LAURA: When, how many days ago?

MATT: "This was about four days ago, as well as a counter assault by the empire within Xhorhas. There was an attempted retaking of the Ashguard Garrison that seemed successful, though at the loss of many lives, bringing it back to the central point, but that's as much as I've gleaned from information that's come in just these past few days. I will say... this conflict is troubling. And I'm sorry."

LAURA: Yeah. Thank you for letting us know.

MATT: "Of course."

SAM: Talk to you in a while.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Just hit the button.

LAURA: No, I don't want--

SAM: Hit the button.

MARISHA: Sometimes you have to double-- yeah, it gets weird, there you go.

TALIESIN: No, that's just in text, now you've got to--

LAURA: It's gone, she's gone.

TRAVIS: Hupperdook.

LAURA: That's where Kiri is, you guys.

SAM: Was.

LAURA: (horrified gasp)

SAM: I'm just kidding, no! Sometimes I make jokes when I'm nervous. I want Kiri to live.

MARISHA: I'm sure Kiri's fine. Those kids knew how to lay low.

LIAM: Well, the days are flying by on the other side. Why don't we exit this place?

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: Go out the tower.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right. So you gather your things and...?

SAM and LIAM: Head out the door.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Look, like--

MATT: How are you traversing the central trap?

LIAM: Are we on-- we're still on that little island on the other side of the door?



MATT: You guys slept between the two--

LAURA: Yeah, we're going to, we're going to move--

MATT: Arcane cannons.

LAURA: We're going to push them to where-- pointing towards the walls.

TALIESIN: Maybe you could deactivate them.

LIAM: Sorry, I meant, once we're through that door, though, it's on a chunk of rock, floating in space?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Correct.

SAM: I can try to deactivate them, or we can just leave them and--

TRAVIS: Yeah, try and deactivate them so we can get across the floor.

LAURA: That's what I'm saying--

SAM: Or we could just jump.

LAURA: Why can't we just point them towards the wall--

TRAVIS: I think if you-- I think--

MARISHA: Because if you touch, they'll like--


LIAM: Well, that is easily-- we can test that. Turn them away and throw a thing onto the pressure sensor.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Okay, you both turn them and face away?

LIAM: Aim them away.

MATT: You throw a piece of wood.

SAM: The bone of--

MATT: You see one shoots this massive fireball-familiar explosion in the center there, and the other one releases a 60 foot cone of poisonous gas that billows out and fills the area, that slowly dissipates.

TRAVIS: Just an idea, we still need to be flying creatures to get off of the floating rock and over to the main area, right?

SAM: So we should just do that now.

MATT: You do know, just because of your search earlier, that there are these connections at the bases of these that are feeding them with continuous overcharge of arcane power. If they were disconnected, they would have a five minute recharge time per shot.

SAM: Should I try it?

LIAM: Yes, you should.

MARISHA: Is it going to explode in your face if you fail?

SAM: Probably.

LAURA: Everybody step back.

TRAVIS: It's just Nott, it'll be fine.

SAM: All right, back up.


LAURA: Guidance.

SAM: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Come on, no, no. (laughs)

SAM: Ooh. But with-- but with Guidance, what am I doing, what am I trying?

MATT: This would be an investigation, well, no, this is to disable, right? So it'd be dexterity.

SAM: Just simple dexterity check?

MATT: With thieves' tools to try and disable it, so add your proficiency bonus.

SAM: 17.

MATT: 17? You have enough to disable, to disconnect two of them, but they're not disabled. You disconnect them from their arcane power source, but you haven't shut them down.

LAURA: Okay, so I'll throw another plank of wood.

MATT: They both explode this time, two simultaneous, it looks like they randomize whatever they fire when nobody's giving them specific presses. So the types of energy being released in attacks are varying with each shot.

(overlapping chatter)

LIAM: And throw another chunk immediately.

TALIESIN: All right, let's go.

MATT: And you can see the sigils slowly building up. All right, you guys go ahead and run across.

LAURA: I'm going to meander.

MATT: As you saunter across without issue, hearing quiet music, you get your little hip walk on.

TALIESIN and LAURA: ♪ (Limbo) ♪

MATT: Make your way to the opposite end where the open doors-- there's the same familiar purple shimmer through. As you step out, you are once more on this floating island, on the outside of the giant bent tower, the purplish flashes of distant lightning, and this swirly maelstrom, still present, still dangerous, ominous.


TRAVIS: Are we in generally the same area? Can we see the sort of charging posts?


MATT: It seems like this is a consistent rotation, so yes, you don't see them at first, but about three or four minutes later, you start to see the edge of that lip where you guys were at, and you can see it, there's another section of false stop that ends a little ways down from where you leapt over and made your way to this platform originally.

SAM: Do we get the sense that if we stayed on this thing for a while, we could get around and skip the gears?

MARISHA: And, yeah.

MATT: It would be a high, so it is a slow rotation down.

SAM: Oh, it goes down, like.

MATT: Yeah, the lip of the tower continues down this way as a spiral, while the platform just rotates in a consistent orbit.

LIAM: I have a knack for changing shape, and I could ferry us up past the gears, just me.

LAURA: Oh yeah, so it doesn't waste a spell?

LIAM: That's correct, it would take a moment, or a few moments.

LAURA: I like it.

SAM: Just remember, it's difficult to fly once you get further away from the tower.

LAURA: I don't know if you experienced it, but yeah, it's kind of a thing.

LIAM: But we're not in a rush, so we can really take it slow.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Giant eagle.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'll go left in case something goes wrong, that way I can also transform, so you guys go first.

MATT: Okay, who are you taking first?

LIAM: I'll grab Beau and Fjord.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: (squawks)

MATT: The eagle grabs you and lifts you up. You get about 10, 15 feet off the island before the gravity shifts a bit, and you have to adjust. You guys feel your feet get tugged to the side. And you begin to make your way closer to the tower. As you begin to approach, you can see the gears turning in that one section, and as you look across the tower, you can see there are multiple areas where there's similar stops, where gears break up the lip, and in many cases, have their own sense of danger, and whirling blades and chains that are being pulled through on pulleys.

LIAM: How difficult would it be just to get them up close to that door that I spotted--

MATT: To the door, not terribly difficult, it looks like.

LIAM: That's what we'll do.

MATT: Okay, so you bypass the entrance doorway that you guys came through, continue upward, towards that slight green glowing frame that is central to the one door you guys saw when you first exited into the tower machine. As you make your way up towards that door, you can see it closed. For this one. Right, so you go to the green-blue doorway. As you come up to it, it's on one of the lips there, at the slight incline, you can drop them both off at it, and it's just a normal brown wooden door, just that slight faint glow to the outer arch.

LIAM: Okay, so Caleb screeches, and then starts to carefully fly his way back down.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

MATT: It keeps shifting as you get in certain directions, it's super discombobulating, but eventually you come back, and you can grab who else?

LIAM: Caduceus and Nott.

MATT: All right, grab them, bring them back.

SAM: Jester, I'm sorry.


LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: It's happening again.


MATT: Easy enough, you manage to get the whole party up to that lip, up to the door, it's still closed in front of you, and you guys wait. Eventually, about, it takes about, I'd say 25 minutes or so to do it carefully with the constant shifting, heavy winds, and the flashes of light in the storm, and just being careful, but you do manage to get the entire party up at the next door.

LIAM: Okay. Don't change yet. Watching the group. (squawks)

MARISHA: You know, the concept of gravity was first discovered by a Xhorhasian wizard known as Iz-aak New-ton.

SAM: Oof.

TRAVIS: Are you making this up?

SAM: No, she's a nerd now.

LAURA: You're so smart with that circlet, Beau.

MARISHA: I know! I feel like the thoughts have always been there, but they're just so easy to recall now.

TRAVIS: Is the jewel near your forehead?

MARISHA: It's right here, kind of in the part, you can kind of-- Ow! Ow, why?

LIAM: It's like Homer finally taking the crayon out of the package.


LIAM: Have we, forgive me, I was confused. Have we circumvented the gears?


SAM: All right, so it's just up, up, and away, then.

LAURA: Yeah, we're right in front of the door now.

SAM: Well, then, let's go.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: I mean, there's no other doors, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we go through.

TALIESIN: We go through.

MATT: The door opens.

SAM: Oh, it's a swinging door?

MATT: It's a swinging door, it opens up, it's a normal wooden door. What's up?

TRAVIS: Was there a lock under the handle?

MATT: There was no lock.

SAM: Is there a keyhole?

MATT: There is no keyhole.

LIAM: Is there a chair?

MATT: Roll a perception-- nah. The door just swings open, and as it does, the door leads into a black expanse with a very faint point of light.

SAM: Just to a void, a black void?

MATT: A black void with a point of light.

SAM: I'll just gingerly tiptoe out to see if there's a floor.

MATT: Okay, you tiptoe out, and as soon as your foot gets out there, there's no floor, and you get pulled in.

TALIESIN: Here we go.

MATT: Nott just vanishes into the darkness.

TRAVIS: Amazing. I run after her.

TRAVIS: Fjord's gone.

TALIESIN: I hate all of this, jumping in.

MATT: You all, one after the other, dive into this void, and you feel like you're being pulled through at near-light speed. There's no wind, just that white point of light going, and opening like a rapid-paced reverse of the end of a Looney Toons cartoon, just. As it arrives, you are pushed out of it at a side angle once more, and then adjust to gravity, which is now on the right side. You land on your side, and then it takes a moment to realize that you've come out at an odd angle, and the ceiling is now up above you.

LIAM: (wings flapping)

TALIESIN: Everything about this is terrible.

MATT: You have to squeeze through that door.

TALIESIN: Oh, god.

MATT: There's feathers everywhere. You guys now sit within a somewhat rounded chamber. It seems square like, but the corners are rounded. It is a cluttered workshop of some kind, with all sorts of implements for carving, chiseling, molding, bending. You can see numerous granite tables at different sides, there's four of them facing each other from an open center, where in the middle of the floor, it looks like a big stone slab with a bunch of dull carvings in it. You can see large boxes containing raw and partially smooth stone boulders resting at one of the corners, just a large pile of rough stone. You can see ingots of dark green metal sitting near a rune-encrusted anvil that sits to the right side of the chamber, right at the foot of a blue-flamed forge that just has blue fire burning inside of it. In front of that forge is a massive green metal golem, standing about 12 feet tall, made from the same material as the ingots, one arm ending in a long set of hooked tongs, and the other in a deadly looking hammer, just standing over the anvil, unmoving.

LIAM: It's kryptonite.

MATT: What do you guys want to do?

TALIESIN: Not touch anything.

LIAM: Don't touch the residuum golem.

MARISHA: Can't we try and sneak by--

MATT: It's not residuum, but you have seen this material before.

LAURA: What is it?

MATT: You saw the same material as the heavy door that was guarding the underground temple that you went to with Yasha. It's adamantine.

LIAM: Oh, I gotcha, I gotcha, gotcha.


TRAVIS: Aside from the green golem, are there any other forms, humanoids, figures?

MATT: You look, and in the corners of the chambers, you can see other partially constructed golems and bits and pieces of raw golem material. Like this is literally a golem workshop.

TALIESIN: Is there another door?

LAURA: There is somewhere.

MATT: Yes, there is, across the way.

MARISHA: Behind the forge.

MATT: Let's see here. First, make a perception check for me.


TALIESIN: One thing I could really do.

MATT: Or actually, no, sorry, investigation or arcana.

LAURA: (laughs) Guidance. Shit.

MATT: With you, it's perception because you're just looking for another door, go ahead.

TALIESIN: Yeah, thank you, 22.

MATT: Okay, yeah, across the other way, hidden behind some of these big bars of metal that are still raw and unused, you see just a simple gray door that seems to blend in with the rest of the wall.

TALIESIN: It's not open?

MATT: It's not open.

MARISHA: Does it look glowy?

TALIESIN: It doesn't look glowy, I also would say that we should, every time we do anything magic, even the slightest magic--

LIAM: I drop the eagle form.

TALIESIN: No Guidance, no nothing.

LIAM: Were there any, did you say there were runes over what he just found, or?

MATT: You can see in the middle of the floor, there's like a series of runes on a large, heavy 10-foot wide stone tablet. There's books and papers and shit on some of the granite tables out there, along with materials and tools.

LIAM: I'm going to examine the floor, and the arcane symbols on the floor and see if I can understand them, and what they might mean.

MATT: Make an arcana check.

LIAM: I'm going to say it's cocked, it wasn't super cocked, but it was cocked, that's better.

MATT: I trust.

LIAM: It was cocked.

MATT: I trust.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22? Almost, almost. The basis of this is heavy enchantment. Glancing at the materials here in the books, there are the materials here to make a golem.

LIAM: Okay. And you found the door already, while I was--

TALIESIN: Yeah, I've already pointed it out, and I've also made a little speech about magic, and how maybe we should be careful.

LIAM: All right.

TALIESIN: Even the slightest--

LIAM: Is there anything arcane in nature about the door?

MATT: The door you just came through?

LIAM: The door that Caduceus found.

MATT: Not that is visually there, it looks pretty plain, enclosed.

TALIESIN: Check for traps, maybe?

MARISHA: It's a circular room, do we want to do a perimeter sweep?

TALIESIN: I think we just gently walk, but check to make sure we don't step on anything.

MARISHA: Group one and group two, do a perimeter sweep?

LIAM: We could accidentally turn that on, look around, do you see anything?

SAM: I'm not as smart as Beau, but I'll go look.


SAM: Beau, you want to take the right circle, and I'll take the left circle, and we'll just sort of make a pass?

MARISHA: I will go counterclockwise through this circle.

MATT: Okay, so you're both going around the chamber? What are you doing?

SAM: She is insufferable now.


MATT: So what are you guys doing, what are you trying to do?

SAM: Well, just check for, well, I'm going to check for triggering mechanisms.

MATT: Okay. What are you looking for?

MARISHA: In the same way, triggering mechanisms, but also doors--

TRAVIS: Pressure plates?

MARISHA: Doors, pressure plates--

MATT: Make an investigation check, each of you.

SAM and MARISHA: Slowly.

SAM: Terrible, 16.

MARISHA: Is it cocked?

SAM: I mean that's not a number right now.

LIAM: It's cocked.

MATT: Yeah, it's cocked, roll again.


LAURA: Yeah, we have too much dice on some of these tables, it's sending them cocked on some of the rolls.


MATT: Cull, cull the space. 16 and?

TRAVIS: One set of dice.

SAM: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with these people.

MATT: What'd you roll?

SAM: 16. What'd I say? Yes.

MATT: Great, two 16s. As you guys make your way around, you don't notice any traps, but you do notice, is there are chains with heavy hooks that are just set up, multiple sets of them hung against the walls that attach to these long rails that slide back and forth, used for carrying and holding large pieces of heavy material aloft. But nothing that seems to be a trigger mechanism, other than things that are designed to maneuver, manipulate those chains and other materials around the workshop.

SAM: I mean, we're going to have to figure out if this one that's built is alive, right, at some point?

LAURA: It's alive.

TALIESIN: It's alive.

MARISHA: I would kind of like to not find out if it's alive.

LAURA: We just go around it, and go on out.

TRAVIS: Don't touch anything in the shop and don't use magic.

MATT: But what if I could find one of those boots, and then I'd have a jet pack, is all I'm saying.

LAURA: You probably should have done that before you melted the last guy.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's a--

SAM: Yeah, but there's parts in here, I could find a boot.

MARISHA: But it's not just the boot that makes the jet pack, it just--

TALIESIN: The whole thing.

TRAVIS: You need the arcane--

SAM: (uncertain sound) What is it?

LIAM: Can I, while they're debating, can I skim-- you said there are books about it. Are there any interesting titles, if I take a moment to?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: I offered this to you, you can have this knowledge if you want it.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27. The books, a lot of it is shorthand notes, and it looks like a lot of the design elements of this are proprietary. These aren't long-running instruction manuals, these are things that were developed by Halas himself, as specifically designed for his, his entire construction of the Folding Halls. But you get the gist of it quickly, and just skimming through, the book that lays open, materials that are there are for specifically creating a smaller golem personal servant.

SAM: That could be fun.

MARISHA: You already did that once.

MATT: You glance through and look through. Materials are half set up here, it would take maybe about three hours to attempt it.

LIAM: To make a golem servant with this--

SAM: Who would dote on you.

LIAM: -- hulking thing in here with us? Is it, where is it's, the instructions are for a humanoid form, or short little humanoid form?

MATT: Looking at the materials that are on the instructions for it, it's humanoid-esque, but it's more like a small, squat, yeah, like a maybe about shoulder height.

LAURA: Adorable, you could have your own little buddy!

TRAVIS: Until it turns on you and kills you in your sleep.

MARISHA: Would Frumpkin like it? Would Frumpkin get jealous?

LIAM: No, it's not a cat.

MARISHA: Can you build something better than Frumpkin?

LIAM: Nothing is better than Frumpkin. That's ridiculous. I thought that thing made you smarter.

TRAVIS: (hoots)


MARISHA: Smart enough to know that Frumpkin sucks.

TRAVIS: Should we move on?

LAURA: We should probably just go through this place.

TALIESIN: We'll have to come back at some point.

LAURA: We can ask--

LIAM: It's interesting, but that thing could come awake at any moment--

LAURA: I don't want to fight another one of the golems.

TRAVIS: Let's keep going.

MARISHA: Hey, how big are these bars, these adamantine bars?

MATT: The ingots?

MARISHA: The ingots.

MATT: They're about a foot long and about maybe an inch, an inch and a half--

TRAVIS: Oh, we should fucking take a shit load of those.

LAURA: We shouldn't pick up anything--

TALIESIN: Don't think you should touch--

LAURA: It's going to wake up if we touch them.

MARISHA: Okay, let's find the door, let's figure out the door, and then contemplate scooping ingots.

SAM: How much do they weigh? They must weigh a lot, right?

LAURA: Probably, but--

MARISHA: I just know adamantine is worth a fucking--

TRAVIS: Got a Bag of Holding, doesn't matter. I mean, it does, but.

SAM: But, I mean, if I wanted to Mage Hand one.

MARISHA: Oh, you could try that.

SAM: Yeah, but that's probably--

TRAVIS: Open the door, see if the door opens.

SAM: Can we walk all the way around the other door?

MATT: You walk all the way around to the other door. There is no handle on it. It's just a push door.

LAURA: It's going to take us to the experiment chamber, you guys, oh, god, an experiment chamber--

SAM: Wait, is there only one way out of this room?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Are we going to just leave this room without almost dying? Is that a thing that we can do?

LIAM: Is a thing that we can do.

TRAVIS: We're not touching anything. We're not touching anything in the demonic candy shop.

SAM: I'll just cast one spell real quick.

TRAVIS: No, the last one chased us all over this place.

SAM: It just feels like we should, right?

TRAVIS: I think this is an opportunity to create an ally for whatever we're going into next, but we also lose time.

LAURA: Oh, we could make an ally?

SAM: A golem ally.

LAURA: Yeah, but we have to fight a golem in order to get an ally. I don't think that's very smart.

SAM: If we could learn how to program it--

TRAVIS: No, I don't think you have to fight him if you do it correctly, but if you steal shit--

MARISHA: If we finish the job.

LIAM: Without touching the golem, not even going any closer to it, can I slowly circle it and try to examine it to understand what would wake it up?

MATT: Make an arcana check.

LAURA: Natural 20.

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16?

LIAM: Where's the Guidance?

LAURA: Take a minute and ask for it!

MATT: It's hard to gather what triggers it. It's standing like it's complete and ready to go. It doesn't have any signs of its being wounded, damaged, or non-functional. It definitely looks like it matches the design of the anvil and the forge behind it. Its implements that its arms are made into definitely seem to be that its main purpose is the creation of other golems, but you're not sure what, if its purpose is extended beyond that end, as it is an imposing figure in the chamber, who knows?

LIAM: Did you indicate to me, though, that looking in that open book, that I would know how to sort of make this thing?

MATT: Not the thing, the giant adamantine--

LIAM: The little bitty guy--

MATT: Yeah, with the right help and amount of time, there's a chance it could succeed.

MARISHA: But you'd have to take the schematics?

LIAM: So tempting.

LAURA: It is, but.

LIAM: It's so tempting. The materials are here.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: The materials are here.

MARISHA: But, I mean our time.

TRAVIS: Three hours.

MARISHA: Three hours?

LIAM: We slept eight.

MARISHA: You think it takes three hours to build him?

TALIESIN: That's what it said in the book. That's what he said when he was reading the--

LIAM: It's about, it's a guesstimate, but I think that--

MATT: It's partially finished is why. To do it from scratch, it would take a lot longer, but there's a lot of elements that are already mostly put together, and it's just finalizing the process that'll take about three or four hours.

LIAM: My gut is telling me to do it.

TRAVIS: All right, do it.

LAURA: I think we get next to the door.

LIAM: Yeah, figure out the door.

LAURA: Oh, this is so dumb--

SAM: You don't figure out the door, you just push it open.

LAURA: He lays out these temptations.

LIAM: There's no traps, you didn't find anything?

SAM: I'll check it for traps. I'm checking the door for traps.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: A million, 30.

MATT: It is not trapped.

TRAVIS: Make yourself a little fucking companion, do it.

TALIESIN: Let's see what happens.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to start walking us through this.

MATT: Okay, this is a group skill challenge. So you guys, working together with Caleb at the helm, you get to decide what you want to apply as aid to this, and then I'll tell you what the corresponding skill would be. You have to get four successes before two failures for this to succeed.

MARISHA: Before two failures?

LIAM: Before two failures.

LAURA: Okay, what do we have to do?

MATT: There's the ingots, there's the tools, there's the forge, there's the golem. You can see part of a torso that's constructed. You can see where the interior, similar to the one that you fought, the mage hunter golem. Just getting a good look at it, you can kind of see have the skeletal structure works in the inside. Looking at the central symbol, you know that it has to be put over that, and then brought there, and you do know that whoever finishes the creation process, when the golem is given consciousness, it is bound and imprints on whoever completes the final sigil.

SAM: Oh, like a little gosling.

LAURA: That's pretty cute.

TRAVIS: Ryan Gosling?

SAM: Yeah, that's how Ryan Gosling found his parents--

LAURA: Is there a skill where you have to paint the sigils, or do any kind of decoration on him? I can help with that.

LIAM: Well, I have no doubt that you could not give this thing a wicked paint job. Looking at the instructions, is there anything about the outer decoration, in the way that Jester is inquiring about?

MATT: No, but you can give it decorations.

LIAM: Of course--

MATT: It's just not important to its creation.

LAURA: Okay, I can help. Me and Fjord are pretty strong now. Fjord, you're pretty buff, yeah?


LAURA: We could help with the ingots and stuff, with the--

MATT: Okay, so the two of you are carrying the larger heavy materials, and bringing them over towards the golem. Okay, you bring some of the adamantine ingots over, and some of the long struts of dark metal that was against the back wall, and as you begin to bring them closer, you watch as blue flames fill the previous vacuous eyes of the forge golem. You see it get into a defensive position, and just wait.

SAM: Give it an order.

MATT: As you guys begin to feed the ingots towards the anvil, you can see it begin to put the tongs down to hold it and hammer and shape, and you guys go back with the instructions, using your strength to try and make this go by as quick as possible. One of you, because you're aiding together, make a strength check with advantage.

LAURA: No, you do it, you're stronger than me, and I'm going to Guide you.

TRAVIS: I'm stronger than you?

LAURA: Aren't you at 18 now?


LAURA: Oh, I thought you were super strong.


MATT: He's stronger than he was, but you're still--

LAURA: Oh, I guess I would do it then. But I'm going to Guide myself then.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So the blue flames of the forge now burning, raging, the golem now hammering heavily onto the anvil, you go ahead and try to expedite the process through show of strength.

LAURA: That's okay, that's good. Good thing it's advantage, and then I get a d4.

SAM: Okay, that's good.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20, that's what you needed. So as they're going through this, you guys are-- this process is going well. There aren't a lot of ingots, but you're helping fold and turn and helping him fold, and basically you begin to work in rhythm with the golem, kind of like you see the people creating the mochi in Japan, where it's like hammer, turn, flip, hammer, turn, yeah. You guys begin to work with the golem, and it's actually kind of impressive. So that's one success. Who else wants to add to this stuff?

SAM: What are the other steps?

MATT: Be creative. You can see elements of it that are hanging from chains and need to be put onto chains, you can see there are enchantments in the book that need to be start woven into it as parts of the metal start to come around. You can see that there-- any other creative elements here that you want to bring to the--

MARISHA: Can I-- Oh, go ahead.

SAM: No, you go first.

MARISHA: Can I, tapping into the extract aspects that I did on the other golem, and sort of getting a visualization of its interior, can I use that knowledge, along with reading the guides, to start taking plates and the pieces, and start connecting--

MATT: I would say yeah, go ahead and make an arcana check.

MARISHA: Arcana check, okay, the arcana check.

TALIESIN: Which you now have a bonus for.

MARISHA: I do. I was hoping it would be-- can I get Guided while I think about the arcane, thank you.

LIAM: Cocked.

MATT: It's those d4s, man.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughter) Butts up against them.

MATT: Mm-hmm.


MATT: 23? Not just to your surprise, but impressive to you in particular, Caleb, Beau begins finishing your sentences as you begin describing from the book elements of how these magical inscriptions are used to bind its body together, and to give it form and purpose, and together, you both begin, in tandem, reciting these things, before she begins instinctively taking the chains and pulling them together and seeing where everything fits into place, and marking with chalk on each part of its body where certain sigils have to go. And you're actually kind of having a hard time keeping up with her at this moment.

MARISHA: Hand me PCH one. No, the one next to it, thank you, thank you.

LIAM: Flange, bevel.

MATT: That's two successes. All right, anybody else want to operate this one?

SAM: I'll take a look at, maybe, in the former golem, did it have its most intricate mechanics in the head or the hand, or just--

MATT: From what you could tell for the brief time you had it up close to you, before it melted down, I'd say probably within the chest and head region.

SAM: Okay, well, I'm going to go into the chest and help do any sort of tiny clockwork surgery sort of stuff in there.

MATT: I like that. Make an intelligence check for me.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: You got her.

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16?

LAURA: Did you Guide yourself? Because I gave you a Guidance.

SAM: You did?

LAURA: That's why I touched you.

MATT: Right before.

SAM: 17.

MATT: 17, okay, that's three successes. With there, as she's putting it together you're getting inside--

SAM: Oh, that was the check.

MATT: That was the check.

SAM: Oh, I thought it was just to see what I was going to do.

MATT: No, this was you trying to use that knowledge in helping her along with her instructions, to go ahead and start piecing together these little filaments of wire, and these little conductors of arcane energy, and helping put it to the power source in the center, this kind of crystal that resides in the middle of its chest. That's three successes.

LIAM: I would like to make sure that the glyphs and arcane symbols on the actual device match what is on the instructions and make sure that those are not unfinished, and if they are, to etch them in further.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: The writing on them.

MATT: Okay, I'd say make a perception check for me.

LIAM: Perception check?

MATT: This is keeping consistency between the designs on this. That would be--

LIAM: Knowing how arcana works?

MATT: We've already had an arcana check for this, is what I'm saying.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: I thought mine was going to be dex, so.

TALIESIN: I'll give you a d4.

MARISHA: I thought mine was going to be intellect.

SAM: You never know.

MATT: You never know, never know.

SAM: Oh, wait, hey, Caleb?

LIAM: Yeah?

SAM: Why don't you, I mean, not to backseat arcana or whatever, but you could, you do have that mote of possibility that might come in handy in a moment like this.

LIAM: No, it's not prepared, that spell.

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Plus doing magic in here might be bad.

SAM: We've been doing magic.

TALIESIN: We've been doing magic.

LIAM: Super low roll.

SAM: You just Guided me.

LIAM: Super low roll.

LAURA: We've been Guiding!

LIAM: Super low roll, seven.

LAURA: I forgot about that.

MATT: A seven?

LIAM: Yeah. Rolled a three.

MATT: You begin to, as she's writing and inscribes over, you go over and make a few adjustments to fix hers, and as the sigils begin to be burned in, about the third hour of the work, the first enchantments spark and fail and sputter, first failure. Three successes, one failure.

TALIESIN: Let me see what I can do.

MATT: It has to be a success, this next one.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go over and see if I can use my crystal to sort of--

MARISHA: He started fixing my work.

TALIESIN: Shh. So much chatter.

LAURA: Don't fight.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and see if I can instill some of the spiritual life force from my crystal, and use it to jumpstart this one, and see if I can get everything up and running again, see if I can use the crystal energies to also fix whatever happened just there.

MATT: So you're attempting to bring spiritual energies to an arcane construct--

TALIESIN: Too weird?

MATT: I will say that this has no impact on it whatsoever.

TALIESIN: Oh, well.

MATT: You attempt it, but there is such a disconnect between the divine source of your power and the attempt to empathize with this power there, it doesn't take to it. I won't consider it a failure, but I'll let you know that there wasn't a chance of success for that.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: But if there's something else you want to try and bring to the table here.

TRAVIS: Make it some tea.

LIAM: Is there enough room in the chest of this thing for my cat to sit and jaeger?

MATT: You could design it that way if you want.

LIAM: I would like to.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: If you fucking Pacific Rim a fucking--

MARISHA: Oh my god, yes.

MATT: I'll allow it.

LIAM: Can Frumpkin make the last--

SAM: Frumpkin has never made a challenge ever.

LAURA: Always fails.

MATT: This is a design thing. I mean, if you wanted to help in fashioning a pocket for Frumpkin.

TALIESIN: I don't know if I'm the guy to do that.

LAURA: I could help. I'm artistic, that could have something to do with artistry, right?

MATT: That's true, yeah.

MARISHA: Design, yeah.

LAURA: But if it's a performance check, that's different than if it's like an artistry check.

SAM: I could try to put some--

MARISHA: What's an artistry check?

SAM: What is the main function of this thing? Does it say in the book, is it an attacking thing? Is it just a general servant?

MATT: It's a servant.

SAM: Does it have any weaponry or attacks?

MATT: As you're developing it, I mean, it has heavy fists, and there is something about that crystal in its chest in a chamber that seems to open and close here, that's all you know.

LIAM: I mean.

SAM: I could put my pistol in it somehow, and it could (imitates gunshot) and then come out.

TRAVIS: Do what you're going to do.

MATT: We're in the fourth hour now, so the final stage.

LIAM: Let's not do the cat because I have much more flexibility with Frumpkin not in there.

SAM: How about a gun chest? A little chest cannon?

MARISHA: Just a one shotgun chest.

SAM: Yeah, well we can do that.

LIAM: What was the test that you already did as Nott, you used?

SAM: My test?

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Oh, well, mine was an intellect check. I thought it was going to be dex, but it was not.

MATT: This was-- it was less about how good you were at the wires, and more remembering and helping her along with whether it was supposed to connect.

TALIESIN: I don't know what to do.

SAM: I mean, I have Mage Hand, I can sort of in there and do stuff.

MATT: Well, you've already been doing stuff in there.

SAM: Yeah, sure.

LIAM: We can double up, though, one person can do two?

MATT: Once you've all tried something, you can. Otherwise, it's going to be a higher DC if you double up because you've been doing multiple things.

TALIESIN: Is there a way to activate this--? Is there a way to help activate this spell to bond it to you?

LIAM: Is there any, in the manual, are there any instructions on enchanting the thing to complete the job?


MATT: Yeah, no, that's part of what you guys have been handling with these sigils, and marking over, over the central centerpiece there.

SAM: I could use my shocking grasp to sort of jumpstart it with a little bolt of electricity.

TALIESIN: I have no idea if that would work, and that hurt the last one.

MARISHA: Frankenstein's monster.

LAURA: Oh, but fire is good.

SAM: Yeah--

MARISHA: Arcane fireball. He'd be a little burning furnace?

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: I can try and put a Sacred Flame into it, into the crystal.

LAURA: Yeah, Sacred Flame it.

MATT: You want try to that?

TALIESIN: Sacred Flame into the crystal?

TRAVIS: Yeah, do it.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: I'll say since this is less than an empathic connection to something that has no empathy, this is instead most of a divine spark, in an attempt to utilize and channel the Wild Mother to give a semblance of life to something that was not intended to live. I'll let you do a religion check for that.

TALIESIN: Ew, okay.

LAURA: Oh, God.

LAURA: Guidance!

TALIESIN: I've got Guidance.

MATT: It's not a terribly high DC, but.

MARISHA: Come on--

TALIESIN: Hey! 26. (cheering)

MATT: It was a 16 DC, so that's a success.

TALIESIN: I have a three in religion, so that's okay.

MATT: (laughs) All righty, so after it's fully assembled at the end of the fourth hour, putting the final pieces together, there's the final trigger, and you, Caduceus, release this burning, divine flame on the inside, as it burns through the inside of this tiny, squat, little round, rotund golem, you watch as the inside of its seams begin to glow with that same divine light, and the sigils begin to fire up. The last one is not completed. Who's going to complete the final sigil?

LAURA: Oh, who wants it? Caleb, did you want it?

MATT: Who's it going to imprint upon?

SAM: He's already got Frumpkin, I mean, Caleb, whatever you want, I love you.

MARISHA: I got a sweet braid wrap, so.

LAURA: Caleb, you're really excited about this, you should do it.

LIAM: All right, yeah.

MATT: Okay, you complete the final sigil. With that, the glyph glows, you see across its face, where the two pale spots, the divots where the eyes would be spark on. The chains detach, and it lands on the ground.

TALIESIN: And kills you.

MATT: And just looks towards you.

MARISHA: (yells)

LAURA: We've got a golem!

MARISHA: Oh my god. (laughter)

LAURA: Four days passed in the real world while we--

MATT: Yes, I'm keeping track of all that. This is yours now. You get to name it.

MARISHA: What are you going to name him?

LAURA: Peanut, name it Peanut.

SAM: Doty, Doty.

MARISHA: Proto-Doty!

LIAM: This is Villi.

LAURA: Villi?

LIAM: W-I-L-L-I, Villi.

SAM: No, it's Willi.

LIAM: Villi.


LIAM: Willi, that's what I said, Willi.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I think you're saying Villi, like a V.

LIAM: No, I'm saying Willi.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's like this letter.

LAURA: Willi?

TRAVIS: Instead of this letter.

LAURA: Why Willi?

LIAM: You guys have known me for a long time. Are we really still pecking at my accent? It's Willi.

TRAVIS: Just want you to get that letter right.

LAURA: A lot of people call their weens a willy.

LIAM: This is Willi.

LAURA: Okay, so his name is ween.


LIAM: You love dicks.

LAURA: I mean, I do.

LIAM: So Willi.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Little Willi.

LIAM: Little Willi.

MARISHA: It's little Willi.

LIAM: Even better, Little Willi.

MARISHA: Can we call him William?

MATT: It stands about four and a half feet tall, and it's just this ball of rock and metal. It has glowing eyes, and the different runes on it, slightly giving off a gentle arcane glow, and it just looks at you.

LIAM: You are William. Or also Little Willi, yeah? Sit.

(crunching noises)

LAURA: Dance, tell him to--

LIAM: Speak. Do you speak?

LAURA: He ain't got no mouth.

MATT: There's no mouth, there's no features there.

TRAVIS: Tell it to punch Beau.

LIAM: Punch Beau.

MATT: A fist comes swinging at you--

MARISHA: I flex my abs and try and take it to see how it does.

MATT: Roll an attack with advantage, because she's letting it happen.

TALIESIN: This is how you break your abs.

LIAM: With an advantage, and its attack is 16.

MARISHA: You can't get through my abs, little Willi.

MATT: She just kind of flexes and stops it.

LIAM: Halt, William.

MARISHA: Little Willi's weak.

TRAVIS: Tell Willi to jump.

LAURA: Tell Willi--

LIAM: Dance, Willi.

LAURA: I dance with him.

MATT: It understands dancing as much as the limitations of the enchantment allow.

LIAM: Hey, run in a circle in this room, William.

MATT: The tables start being knocked over, tools just scattered onto the ground, making a huge mess.

LAURA: Let's get out of this room. We need to keep moving. It's passing time, come on.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's go.

LIAM: All right.

SAM: Just look around for a boot jet pack.

MARISHA: Will William carry me?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: Seven.

MATT: No dice, sorry.

LAURA: Hey, since we could take this stuff, maybe it's okay if we take an ingot.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's take some ingots, right?

TRAVIS: I don't know, the last time we grabbed it, remember, the golem, eyes glowing blue, came over, ready, I feel like if you don't bring it to the table, you get fucked up.

TRAVIS: Oh, that is true, that could be possible. Okay, let's go out.

TALIESIN: Let's be happy with where we are.

LIAM: This one here, William, will you carry Beauregard here?

MATT: (crashing sounds)

LIAM: Yeah.


LAURA: We're going out the door, yeah?

MATT: All right, you step through, you push open the door. There's no handle, it just opens up, and there's like a cylindrical crimson hallway. As you step into it, there's no real sense of up or down, and you start walking, and it feels like it's turning, but you're not sure if it is or not. It goes on for about 40 or 50 feet, before you see a faint green glow from the chamber beyond, as you pass into and beyond the threshold. As you step into this next room, I've got to find it.

TALIESIN: So many pages.

MATT: I know, it's a big place. The first thing that catches your senses is the smell, old, wet rot, chemicals, pungent and assaulting your nostrils. The faint flickering green light frames the chamber's long shadows from a series of green glowing orbs that are affixed to portions of the wall, and grates that spill this faint green light across the slick stone floor. A thick mist hangs in the air down around your ankles and knees, while numerous glass pillars appear set along the center of the chamber at different elevations. Perhaps 10 or so in total, from what you can just glean at this view, the closest one appearing damaged and cracked. You take a step in, and your feet splashes, as there's apparently a small thin layer of liquid within the room.

MARISHA: Oh, they're like incubators or some shit.

MATT: You hear a very faint rhythmic beating sound, and you can feel a thrum to the floor.


TRAVIS: Oh, gross.

LAURA: Nope, nope, nope, nope.

MATT: You take a moment to focus, and you can see within the glass tubes, standing probably about nine or so feet in height each, they are frosted from the inside by some sort of murky liquid, it seems, and you can just faintly make out shadows or shapes from within. You can see chains dangling from the ceiling, ones that are probably used to carry or shift these large, strange liquid-filled jars.

LAURA: And there's a broken one.

MATT: The one nearest to you is cracked, with a slight piece missing.

SAM: Is there a form in it?

MATT: You're a bit far away, you can get a closer look, if you like.

TALIESIN: You're also, to be fair, not sinking into the water.

SAM: Should I go over and look? I'll go over and look at that one.

LAURA: Be really stealthy.

SAM: Yeah, I'll stealth over.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

SAM: 32.

MATT: Okay. You move over, the green lights flickering a bit, just by the nature of the space inside. Make your way over towards the first. There's two tubes right there on the immediate right and left of a staircase that leads up to the central platform. There's about a five-foot raised section in the middle five of these, or four of these are situated. You go to the first, the one that you see the crack on, and you can just glance on the inside by getting up on the stair and looking within. The smell of rot is strong the closer you get, and on the inside, you can see what looks to be a corpse. What bit of liquid there is visible in the nearby tubes, you can see, it's semi-cloudy with a gray-green liquid, faint bits of floating material, some sort of matter that just is gathered and fungal almost, with humanoid-type bodies, motionless and suspended in it. The cracked one, you can see the liquid is about halfway, and the exposed part of it is just this rotted corpse with its mouth open, the lips pulled back, fungus growing across parts of its face. It appears to be male, or was male at some point, thin black hair that's fallen out of it, and part of its face.

SAM: Like a human, or bigger--

MATT: Yeah, human.

SAM: I sort of shout-whisper this to the buddies.

TRAVIS: The water that we're standing in, is it rippling with that (heartbeat)?

MATT: Very faintly, you can feel it through the floor.

SAM: Should we go look at another one?

MARISHA: Can I look and see which, based off of what I see Fjord looking at, and those ripples, do the ripples in the liquid seem to be coming from one direction to the other?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: I will do the same, if that's okay.

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: Why is it always perception?

TALIESIN: I'm having a feeling.

MATT: Perception is just looking and seeing patterns, investigation is taking the time to--


MATT: 14?


MATT: 20, okay, you're still taken aback by the interior, something's very off-putting because there are elements of the rot that is natural and familiar to you, but the chemical smell and something else here is very unfamiliar and alien that you're not a fan of. You notice, with each thrum, the ripples seem to come from the walls to the middle and back out. So the particular source appears to be everywhere.

MARISHA: Everywhere.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: It is the same pace as a heartbeat, yeah?

MATT: It has a similar rhythmic thrum to it, yeah.

LIAM: Proximity, proximity.

LAURA: I don't like this place, you guys.

TRAVIS: Well, I mean, one of the rooms that links to this is the Heart Study outside of the Permaheart.

SAM: Well, that seems likely.

TRAVIS: Can we see the portal or the door that we came in from just now, behind us?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Is it a push door, as well?

MATT: When you guys came through, it was already halfway ajar, and you push it slightly open to get into the rest of the chamber. So it's open currently.

TRAVIS: Can I move to our left along the wall that we're at, and just keep an eye out for a door, moving into the room further? But along the wall.

MATT: Along the wall?

TRAVIS: Not in between the two, or the columns.

MATT: Okay, so as you move along, it's the left hand side? Okay, as you move along the left hand side, you can now see, there's about, you can see what makes probably about eight or so of these tubes. Like some of the nearest ones, you can see the shapes. They're humanoid, but something's off, one of them you see pressed against it, and they all share the same male human, long, dark hair, a pointed bit of facial hair off the chin, but one of them has this bulbous cancerous tumor on one shoulder where you can see hundreds of teeth protruding from--



MARISHA: That's not Obann, right?

MATT: Another one, as you walk by, you can see a portion of its chest is swollen with stitches, and where it cracks open, you can see a large mouth where a tongue hangs out.

LIAM: Ew, dermoids, dermoids.

TRAVIS: He's trying to merge himself with something else.

LAURA: Does it resemble what Halas looked like, what his?

MATT: It looks pretty similar to Halas' features, from the portraits you've seen.

LIAM: It's hard to say.

MATT: You also can see, on the opposite end of this chamber, about three or so from this vantage point of the tubes, are broken, shattered and jagged, maybe about standing half or less tall.

MARISHA: How many?

MATT: Three from your current vantage point.

LAURA: And the heart of the Laughing Hand is what is powering all of this?

TRAVIS: Well, I think it's just out of here. I will summon the sword, and I'm going to use the word to make it glow blue.

MATT: The blue glow lights up around you, and you hold it high. You can see now the blue light from the sword shining against the whole wet interior. It's super humid and warm in this chamber, uncomfortably so, you can feel the moisture and the sweat beginning to build up on your brow and face and under your armor. You can see now the shards of the broken tubes all across the distant floor, and bits and pieces along near you, as well as the glistening chains hanging from the ceiling.

TALIESIN: Eyes of the Grave.

MATT: Eyes of the Grave, okay. Nothing catches your attention.


LIAM: As soon as I see him light up, Caleb's hands start to burn, as well.

TALIESIN: Not even the things in the tubes, nothing?


TALIESIN: Okay, cool.

MATT: But you do hear, (heavy landing) about 10 feet to your left, Fjord, as a shape drops from the ceiling, (landing) the water sprays, and you turn and look, and you see a hulking shape, maybe about nine feet to the shoulder. A flesh mass of pustules and boils, a singular head rises up with tattered black hair, a large descended jaw, and tattered bits of the facial hair, reminiscent of Halas, eyes yellow and burning, with three other heads, misshapen and formed across elements of its shoulder. These two bulbous, mutated-looking, gorilla-like hairless arms kind of clustered onto the ground, as two smaller long, thin, withered arms curl up in front. Two other large, mountainous arms reach up behind, as a pair of six visible arms over its thick, trunk-like feet.

MARISHA: That's cool!

MATT: (roars) And that's where we pick up next week.


TRAVIS: Breaking the laws of nature!

SAM: This is gross.

LAURA: What the fu--

MATT: You get to mess with this fucker next week.

TRAVIS: (yelling) Oh, what the fuck is that?!

SAM: Is that something you made?

MATT: I customized a lot of that--

LAURA: Oh m'lord.

TALIESIN: Dude. Dude.

SAM: Ew!


LAURA: Oh, he is not--

LIAM: Pass it around when you're done.

LAURA: -- attractive.

TRAVIS: Oh, yes, sir.

LAURA: What has Halas been doing? He needs to rethink his experiments.

MATT: Anyway, we'll pick up from there next week. Shit's getting weird. Thank you guys so much for coming along with us on tonight's adventure. Don't forget, we love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night!

(dramatic orchestral music)