Critical Role Wiki

This wiki contains spoilers for the entirety of Critical Role and The Legend of Vox Machina. Proceed at your own risk!


Critical Role Wiki
Critical Role Wiki

List of Transcripts


MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.


MATT: Before we dive into tonight's episode, let's get through some quick announcements for the evening. First, we have two fantastic sponsors. Returning from earlier, near the beginning of the campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond.


MATT: Sam?

MAX: Hey everyone! It's me, Sam Riegel, the wackiest guy in D&D, to tell you about D&D Beyond! I love D&D Beyond because it helps me organize my character, Nott the Brave, so I can concentrate on being zany and doing Nott's voice.

LAURA: Do the voice, Sam! You're so good at it!

MAX: (as Nott, but badly) Pip pip cheerio! Mystery solved! Roar! Buttons!

TRAVIS: Oh yes.

LAURA: That was really good.

MAX: Anyway, being wacky Sam Riegel means I get to tell you that Waterdeep: Dragon Heist is now available on and will guide your Waterdeep campaigns from level one to five. For levels five to 20, explore the legendary undermountain dungeon below the city with Waterdeep: Dungeon of the Mad Mage, which is available for preorder and will release on November 2nd. And you guys--

SAM: (shouting) What the fuck is going on?! What-- Max?! Are you in my seat?! Go away! Go! What the fuck is happening?! Travis, you emailed me. You said we were starting at 7:15 tonight. Did you lie to me?

TRAVIS: No! Yes. Okay, look. Listen, man. It's nothing personal, it's just last week's spot was a little rough, and we needed to have a safe, non-offensive spot this week.

SAM: And you thought no one could tell the difference between me and Max?

TALIESIN: Honestly, I'm still not sure which of you is Sam.

SAM: *I'm* Sam!

LAURA: Are you Max?

SAM: I'm offended at this, guys. My spots are not controversial in any way.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah? Did you write something for tonight?

SAM: Yes, I do. I have it on my phone.

TRAVIS: Did it involve fart sounds? Offensive stereotypes? Cursing? Violence? Inappropriate uses of pickles and/or cucumbers?

SAM: It might have. Yes.

TRAVIS: You can't be trusted, dude. Listen. Read what we wrote for you there. It's a hundred percent safe, non-offensive. The jokes are approved, so go ahead.

SAM: Fine. (clears throat) It's me, Sam Riegel, the wackiest guy in D&D, telling you to head on over to D&D Beyond, where their new content is like anti-gravity; it's impossible to put down. On D&D Beyond, my username is “benefits.” That way, if you add me to your party, it'll say we're friends with benefits. No, seriously though, my username is “forrestgump,” and my password is “1forrest1.”

TRAVIS: Even better coming out of your mouth.

SAM: Did you write this?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Come on. Wrap it up. Let's go.

SAM: Well, wakka wakka wakka! Thanks, D&D Beyond, this was wacky Sam Riegel saying, “Go Dallas"?! Fuck you! Back to you, Matt.


TALIESIN: That was great, Max.

LIAM: I liked long-haired Sam.

TRAVIS: Can we switch him after the intro?

MATT: It's a cantrip. Thank you, D&D Beyond. Thank you, Sax. Mam.

SAM: I'm Sam.

MATT: You're Mam. Smax. I like that. We'll go with that.

TRAVIS: Max did really good at getting through that, by the way.

MATT: And our secondary sponsor tonight, returning from last week, our friends at Raven and the Rook have their Kickstarter up for their awesome, fantastic Far Traveler's Collection notebooks for you to keep all of your campaign notes in. All of the leather is engraved, and you have all the different sheets for your character spell information and everything else. The quality is pretty badass, actually.

MARISHA: I just have the one. That's good, because you can keep adding paper to it.

TRAVIS: You can add paper once you write too big, like you do? Nice.

MARISHA: I don't write too big.

MATT: Comparatively.

MARISHA: I don't have only four words on this.

MATT: It's not too bad. That's sixth-grade font size. That's how I adjust font sizes, by what grade I was in, I guess. I don't know why. The collection features a deluxe edition of their Mischief & Misadventures Campaign Diary, as well as the new Far Traveler's Notebook, which has the fantastic covers that you see here from our fantastic friend, Deven Rue, to the show. Plus, all reward tiers will include a free Kickstarter-exclusive Voyager's Pack, which is essential for the Blind Bundle box. Become a backer now at before the Kickstarter ends on September 20th. Go check it out. It's good stuff. That's our sponsorship for the night. A few quick updates. A reminder to you guys that we are doing our very first live show in New York City, coming up beginning of next month! We are at The Palace in Washington Heights on Thursday, October 4th. Tickets are still available at Ticketmaster. You can check out more information-- pardon me.

LAURA: Did you just burp?

MATT: I did. I was scarfing food before we started the show. I'm sorry. Details at Those who were here earlier in the week saw that our Twitch subs are now live! We have a bunch of new content releasing now and will be releasing soon. We announced a few new shows that are going to be coming up very soon, actually.

MARISHA: Monday!

MATT: Yeah, do you want to talk about that?

MARISHA: Between the Sheets! That was on Monday! That show is a one-on-one deep dive with Brian W. Foster, where he talks about how storytellers became storytellers, and he's starting with Taliesin, and he teaches you how to make a cocktail.

MATT: There you go.


LAURA: That was really good, Marisha. Are you really Marisha?

SAM: You're wearing sleeves.

LAURA: I know. I don't believe it.

TRAVIS: (gasps) It's a lie! Shank!

MARISHA: Oh god!


TRAVIS: I got her! I took care of her!

MATT: Good. Thank you, Travis. Good looking out.

MARISHA: What if I morphed, though? You weren't supposed to know!

MATT: Species level tears him in half. Anyway, Between the Sheets! Mondays on our Twitch channel! Beginning with interviews with the cast of Critical Role, and from there, expanding out into different friends of the show and beyond. We'll have a lot of great perspectives and people of different backgrounds and ideas. It's going to be a really fun show. We also announced the upcoming show for All Work, No Play, for these two handsome gentlemen here.

SAM: Us? We have a show again.

TRAVIS: I'm so happy!

SAM: One a year.

LIAM: We hold hands the whole time.

MATT: Yeah. Look for information on that and all our upcoming content at We're also raising money for Sam's favorite charity.

SAM: Yes, the Pablove Foundation raises money to battle childhood cancer, and we're supporting Blair Herter on his ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles. We've raised over $64,000, maybe more by now. I haven't checked in a little while. We're trying to get to $100,000, and if we do, we will get to unlock me doing a Fireside Chat.

LAURA: Are you going to be naked for it?

SAM: I will do anything for $100,000.


MATT: It does go to the charity.

SAM: That's fine. That still counts. We've already unlocked a one-shot that we'll be announcing more details about later, and we've also supported one whole grant that will be donated to a scientist who will do cutting-edge research. So thank you. Keep giving!

MATT: Thank you, guys, for being amazing and supportive of this fantastic charity push. More to come! As part of that, we are announcing that the special one-shot is-- it's on my list here. Do you want to talk about it?

SAM: We're doing a one-shot of Crash Pandas. I'll be running the game with some of the people at this very table, and it's going to be released on the 28th of September. I think?

MARISHA: 21st.

SAM: *21st* of September! It's live on the 21st of September!

MATT: 7pm on this channel. Next Friday the 21st.

SAM: I've got to write this thing.

MATT: You better get on that, buddy! The VOD will be available on Sunday at Look for that.

MARISHA: Crash Pandas, of course, done by the same guy, Grant Howitt, who did Honey Heist. You can download all of his games for free. Search his Patreon and support him, because he makes free games for people. That's a nice thing to do with your life.

TRAVIS: Life goals.

MATT: And with that, I believe our announcements are complete. Without further ado, let's jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role!

[click, TV static]

[groovy Critical Role theme]

Part I[]

TRAVIS: Yeah, Taliesin! Double guns!

TALIESIN: Long game, motherfucker.

MATT: Welcome back. Cool. Last we left off, The Mighty Nein had made their way south, absconding from the tensions of the north Dwendalian Empire to seek a few possible threads of mystery to the south shores and coasts of the Menagerie Coast. You made your way through the Wuyun Gorge, purchased a few pets, and then eventually found yourselves-- for many of you, your first time-- at the beach, at the coast, seeing an ocean, seeing the waves, seeing the sand, and took a brief bit of time to relish in that experience. Eventually making your way to Nicodranas in time for the sunset across the western ocean. You began to notice the workforce that goes through the day and dwindles to the night that works alongside the numerous number of ships that come in and then stay along the wharf and the various docks in the vicinity. You made your way through the-- not very stealthy. But we're not in character yet, so I'll allow it. You made your way throughout various districts of the city, eventually meeting the fantastic and long-presented mother of Jester: The Ruby of the Sea, Marion Lavorre. After having some time to catch up with her, exchange information about your travels, you discovered that there had been some issues with one client with hers in the town, and managed to gather a little bit of information, but began to seek more about this Algar, this figure who had grown jealous of other clientele and seemed to be becoming a point of concern for Marion. You took it upon yourselves to look into this individual, and find a way to possibly resolve this while you were in town. You also began to run into some other curious mysteries. You went to the lighthouse and spoke with the lighthouse keeper there for a bit. You had found a strange tower in the Open Quay.

TRAVIS: Fucked up.

MATT: (laughs) Then eventually discovered, along the wharf, a tavern with a familiar name based on some of the previous things you were keeping an eye out for: the Wayfarer's Cove. You had just stepped into the darkened interior of this, the smell of old, wet wood combined with the dried liquors and ales that had long stained the various tables and floorboards of this dank and relatively musty bar. Looking across the clientele, a few interesting persons caught your attention, and that's where we left off. So, Mighty Nein, as you begin to enter this darkened, torch-lit interior-- lantern, I would say, slowly hanging from various portions of the ceiling, crossbeams, the bits of wind that push them, causing them to slightly shift and have this shifting crackle of firelight within the chamber, what do you wish to do?

TRAVIS: I've never seen a-- I mean, I've seen one, but I've never spoken to a--

MARISHA: Turtle person?


MARISHA: Yeah. Pretty cool-looking. I don't think I've ever actually saw one, either. I've only seen pictures.

TRAVIS: Is that an eye patch?

MARISHA: Are those tattoos?

LAURA: Is that a shell?


MARISHA: Should we talk to him first?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Who wants to talk to-- no? Nott?

SAM: No! That looks crazy.

LIAM: What are those things coming out of the shell? Green tubes?

LAURA: Are you a turtle?

MATT: Do you walk up and approach him?

LAURA: Yeah, I'm a shithead.

TRAVIS: We're all going to fight.

MATT: Sitting there on the table, both these large, scaled, coming to the point of these hooked claws, these hands are wrapped around this heavy tankard. The head shifts over your direction where the eye patch meets your gaze first before the other eye creeps past the extending hard brow. “I'm sorry, what you asking, huh?”

LAURA: I was asking how you got your eye patch. Did you-- did somebody shoot it out of your eye?

MATT: "Well that's certainly a possibility, *cher.*”

LAURA: You don't remember?

MATT: "You don't think that perhaps someone's going to tell you their life story just without even knowing you? You can buy me a drink first."

LAURA: Oh yeah, I will buy you a drink if you tell me how your eyeball went missing!

MATT: "Very well."

SAM: Ask him what he wants.

LAURA: What-- oh do you not want milk? Do you want something else?

MATT: “(sighs)” He raises one of his fingers up towards the bar and the bartender glances up. "Oh another round, okay." He turns around and begins preparing what looks to be another drink. Lowers his hand and claw which scrapes across the wood and leaves this little curl of-- little shaving that is put to the side as his hand comes to rest, looking back at you with his one eye. "How about this then? Let's trade a story, huh?"

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Y-you tell me where you're from and why it brought you in to my table, then m-maybe I'll tell you how I lost this, yeah?

LAURA: Okay. Well I'm from up the street kind of. I'm the daughter of the Ruby of the Sea. Do you work for any government officials?

MATT: “(laughs) No."

LAURA: I'm the daughter of the Ruby of the Sea. And you know these are my friends and we've gotten into a lot of hijinks and um... what all did you want to know?

MATT: Drink gets brought down to the table. "Don't worry, she's going to take care of it."

LAURA: Yes. Do you have money to take care of it?

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: You've got it? Because I was going to go get some milk too. Two milks also. One hot please. Two milks, one hot.

MATT: It's a silver for that so it's an easy trade off.

MARISHA: We order anything other than milk please.

MATT: Okay, well for a round of drinks and the milks involved as well, that'll put you we'll say at about... two silver.

LAURA: It's also possible that we met my dad earlier and we didn't know it.

MATT: "I'm going to be perfectly honest: that was a lot m-more than I was asking. But I appreciate it."

LAURA: Okay. I appreciate you too. How did you get those pipes on your back?


MATT: He turns and you hear the creaking of leather as the long extended neck turns, the folds of skin pushing against themselves. "Oh this? Got this here on sea maybe about... six or seven years ago."

LIAM: What do they do?

MATT: He reaches back and you can see-- it's interesting because on the right side of the shell it looks like elements have been carved through where these pipes have been put in on the back. On the front there's a small deflated pouch of leather and a small extended tube of metal. He lifts it with one hand and breathes into it and it inflates a bit and inflates a bit. You see his one eye look around mischievously to everyone else at the bar and goes, "I mean y-you asked." (terrible bagpipe wails) This trio of bagpipes begin blasting out of these large, almost shell-sculpted pipes that curve out of his shell and everyone in the room just immediately starts grabbing their ears going "Ah!" and start throwing things over, clanking off of his shell.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, fake bagpipe sound is best bagpipe sound.


TALIESIN: What is happening? I don't know anymore.

SAM: He's so good! That was good!

MATT: Only a few notes in because while he's mischievously enjoying the moment of shattering the calm and chill in the chamber he's not going to get himself thrown out, so he stops and goes "That there's how I keep the other shipmates... entertained."

MARISHA: Entertained. Yeah.

SAM: It's a very good skill, you're quite talented. Really.

TALIESIN: What's your typical rank on board ship if you don't mind me asking?

MATT: "It's been a number of m-m-months since I found me a good ship and a purpose out there on the ocean sea, but I've been known to be a rather decent second mate and navigator."

TALIESIN: Very cool.

LAURA: Is your name Marius?

MATT: "That's not my m-m-moniker."


LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: What is your name, friend?

MATT: "Orly."


MATT: "Orly Skiffback."

MARISHA: Orly Skid--

MATT: "Skiffback."

TRAVIS: You better skip back!

MATT: "Now, I've been forthcoming in my d-direct title. M-m-might I ask what your individual names may be?"

TRAVIS: Well of course. My name is Fjord.

MARISHA: And I'm Beau.

LIAM: Caleb Widogast.

SAM: Junior.

LAURA: Nancy.

TALIESIN: Caduceus. I don't-- okay, yeah.


MATT: "Very well. Welcome to this shithole." He grabs his drink and sips. Takes a few moments and looks around again. "Y'all still lingering for some reason?"

TRAVIS: You say it's been a few months since your last passage on a ship. Steady work?

SAM: Did he slip into it?


LAURA: You started sliding--


TRAVIS: (grunts) Stay away! Stay away! Southern accent! Trying to Texas, Georgia, Louisiana!


MARISHA: Just go on a little walkabout.

TRAVIS: We're looking for an individual that might frequent these parts. Half-elf gentleman. You seen anyone named Sabian in these parts?

MATT: "Can't say that I have there son, my apologies. However you're m-m-more than welcome to ask around. I'm sure there's a whole mighty spectrum of curious travelers that come in and out of here."

TRAVIS: Have you not been on a ship because of a lack of opportunity, or if the right situation presented itself you would be perhaps up for a bit of work?

MATT: "More the latter than the former. I got to jive with the right crew. More like they got to jive with me. I mean--" and he does this I'm-a-fucking-tortle physicality to it.


LAURA: It's the bagpipes, isn't it?

MATT: "Well, they're an acquired taste I'd say perhaps, *cherie.*"

SAM: Judging by your physique though you must be quite excellent on the water.

MATT: "Yeah, I'd say so."

SAM: I'm sure you're an asset to any vessel. Now that I've buttered you up how about-- have you ever heard of Marius LePual?

MATT: "Why you asking?"

SAM: Oh!

MATT: "If I m-might inquire."

SAM: Well as one green to another, we were just told that he might be around and he has some information that we were looking for. We are actually trying to deliver him a bit of correspondence.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: Oh that will go over great. Ooh! Minus three... oh no persuasion is at zero? How did that happen? Anyway it's 13.

LAURA: You're proficient.

SAM: Oh I'm proficient at persuasion. Wow, who knew?

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: "I can say I've seen him around. Occasionally the boy has needed a place to crash and I've provided my shack, my abode, when he's been drinking too hard or comes in with some sort of a m-mark on his face."

SAM: You're roommates with Marius?

MATT: "Only in occasionally."

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Have you seen him lately?

MATT: "N-not in a few days, no."

LAURA: Do you know where he went?

MATT: "Don't pay attention, don't care none."

TRAVIS: Do you frequent spots outside of this particular establishment or is this your shithole of choice?

MATT: You see him getting guarded the more you start asking about Marius a little bit. Caduceus, you specifically, as you're watching this, you get the sense that he's offered up a little bit of information but that little bit seems to have caused him to reel in. He's being guarded and doesn't seem very forthcoming, though he passes it off as a lack of information.

TALIESIN: I apologize if we're anxious. We just want to get our business concluded as quickly as possible and move on to more pressing matters. I mean, if you see Marius or know that he's around, you're welcome to tell him that people are trying to deliver something. I get the impression that he's a friend and I also get the impression that he's probably used to a fair bit of trouble and we're hoping not to be trouble.

MATT: "You said something about a delivery?"

TALIESIN: Well it's complicated, I'm not even going to pretend that I entirely understand it myself. We're--

LAURA: It's a present. It was a present for him.

MATT: There's a shifting to Orly at which point the last of the air in the small pouch gets pushed in and it (wailing bagpipes) slowly comes to rest.

TALIESIN: Again I hate to ask personal questions but--

LIAM: (makes farting sound with chair)


TALIESIN: Bastard. Have you ever sailed with Marius by any chance? I mean, do you have an impression of him as a sailor or--?

MATT: "(laughs) M-m-marius ain't really what you'd call sea-trekking folk. More of a slimy, shadow word peddler. However, last time I saw him not but maybe a week ago, I recall he was complaining. Waiting on something to be delivered. Never found its way around. Was getting real-- that boy owes a lot of money."

TALIESIN: I'll have to say that we might be the answer he's looking for. We're removed from the actual situation. We're more delivery by happenstance more than anything else. We have our own questions and problems and concerns which can only be answered by someone who has a better grasp of the situation.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Fucking talking cow over here. It was great.

TALIESIN: I know people. And turtles.


TALIESIN: Wow. Persuasion?

MATT: Yeah.


MATT: 21? Orly looks you straight with his one good eye, glances up and down. You get a good look. The leather eye patch itself has its own carving into it like it was wettened at one point and then shaved to have a very similar pattern as the curling wave tattoos that match his upper arms and you can now see the backs and sides of his neck. Looking through you for a moment, goes--

TALIESIN: Sipping my milk. Milk mustache.


MATT: "Let me tell you something. If what you say is true, it could very well be that you and your friends here might have a way of taking some of the weight off of M-m-marius. I haven't seen him in some time, but I do know sometimes he hangs around the docks at night. Round m-m-midnight. Sometimes he's meeting folks in ships and selling things I can only imagine is illegal. Sometimes he's picking things up."

TALIESIN: You wouldn't mind me asking for a brief description of him so we can identify him when we see him? That would be most advantageous.

MATT: "What you looking for: skinny-ass little half-elf fella. Sides of his head shaved real low. Tiny little fuzz.

TALIESIN: Super cool.

MATT: "With a big old flop of blonde hair, hangs around in front of the face."

TALIESIN: That's pretty cool.

MATT: "Other than that, he don't dress m-m-mighty rich or anything. Tends to stay out of sight, so maybe be best you keep a keen eye around the shadows, huh?"

TALIESIN: Sure. I imagine he's probably a little jumpy of people if he owes money and that sort of thing. That can make someone very mistrusting. I would hate to invoke your name in front of him, but--

MATT: "If all goes well and you end up doing him a solid, don't be afraid to tell him that Orly put you in the right direction, huh?”

TALIESIN: Thanks, friend, that's great.

MATT: "If not, don't say a fucking word."

TALIESIN: Oh, of course not.

SAM: (Cajun accent) We'll be very careful. We guarantee.



MATT: Scratches the bottom of the chin, looking at you.

TRAVIS: This tortle must survive at all costs. Are we in agreement?

LIAM: Tell us a story, Orly.

TRAVIS: The other folks in the tavern-- there are only five? Four or five?

LAURA: There's the woman.

SAM: There's the white-haired lady.

MARISHA: Crotchety half-elf bartender

SAM: The thick elf, yeah.

MARISHA: And the other fisherman person?

MATT: Yeah, there's an older fisherman-looking gentleman who's sitting there, minding his own business, staring at his own drink, though now he's glaring over this large group that's conversing after blowing bagpipes in the middle of his previously solitary afternoon. There's a woman, probably late 40s, early 50s or so, with a very big mass of hair that goes from a dark brown, to a gray, to white at the tips, almost like a mane. Dark skin, looks weathered from lots of travel and probably seen quite a bit in her day. A light brown coat that hangs over the edge of the chair she's sitting in. They're all looking at you guys because you all come storming in here, cause this ruckus, talking to the tortle.

LAURA: I have a dog that's peeing on shit.

MATT: Yeah, you guys aren't the most subtle of arrivals.

TRAVIS: Is she giving us a quizzical look, a suspicious look, an interested look?

MATT: Make an insight check.

TRAVIS: That sucks balls. Four.

MATT: Hard to tell.

TRAVIS: Yep. Don't know if I care. I'm going to go over to her.

MATT: Do you guys stay with Orly, or--?

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, is Orly giving the vibe that he is enjoying the company or giving the vibe that he now wants to enjoy his drink in peace?

MATT: He looks like he is enjoying his drink and he's not giving you any particular vibe in your direction. He doesn't seem to mind, but he's not engaging. Most of his conversation is reactive at the moment.

TALIESIN: Well, we got one more problem we got to deal with, which is your mom's problem.

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: And that's the one where we're going to maybe have to get a little difficult.

SAM: To refresh everyone else's memory, because my memory is sound, we're looking for a way to get down into the underbelly of the city, right?

ALL: The Sluice Weave.

LIAM: It's just called the Sluice.

SAM: Oh yeah, that's right.

TRAVIS: That's where the guy that's causing the problem is, but it seems super complicated.

SAM: We got to find out some info.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Do you know anyone who knows how to get down to the Sluice Weave, or has ever been there, by any chance?

MATT: "What are you talking about?"

TALIESIN: I don't actually know what I'm talking about, to be fair.

MATT: "I don't either, my apologies. I don't know."

LAURA: Insight?

MATT: Make an insight check.

SAM: Use those blue dice, those blue dice!


SAM: I touched them all.

LAURA: You did. That's a natural one!

MATT: He's smiling with his response, and in all your time, you're not very well versed in the tics and the subtle facial reads for tortles.

TALIESIN: (whispering) I like tortles. Yeah, we've got somebody who's a bit of a problem we have to deal with as well. This is a completely separate issue.

MATT: "Oh, that's fine. There are all sorts of problems throughout this city. You end up taking one down, that's one m-m-more that we don't got to piss on."

TALIESIN: It's somebody being impolite to a friend of ours.

LAURA: My mom.

MATT: "Well, that just ain't going to stand now, is it, *cherie?* You got to respect people's m-m-mamas."

TALIESIN: So true.


TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: While you're having this conversation, Fjord has walked over to the other table and the woman sitting there, her hands resting on the side.

LIAM: I'm trailing him.

MATT: Trailing as well?

LIAM: Yep, trailing.

MATT: As you guys approach, with Fjord towards the front, she watches you.

TRAVIS: Couldn't help but notice we seemed to have caught your eye.

MATT: "Well, I'm going to be honest. It's hard not to draw my attention with that very subtle display you've all managed to provide."

TRAVIS: I apologize. Clearly my friends and I are new in town, and we are very inquisitive. What is that you're drinking?

MATT: "This here? Wine."

TRAVIS: (whispering) Am I slipping? I can't help it! I can't not do it!

MARISHA: It's so dapper in here!

MATT: "It's wine. Red. Why, you buying?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, would you care for more?

MATT: (chuckle) "I'll always care for more."

TRAVIS: I'll wave to the barkeep to bring another round over.

MATT: For just her or for both of you?

TRAVIS: For her.

MATT: Okay. That'll put you back, we'll say--

SAM: 200 gold.

TRAVIS: Most expensive wine.

MATT: No, we'll say one silver for just her, for one round.

TRAVIS: If you wouldn't mind, we were moving through the town, and there is this tower right in the middle of it. The Tide Peak, I believe it's called in my notes. Can you tell me, do you know anything about that? Such a strange structure.

MATT: "To be completely honest, I don't spend a lot of time in the Quay. I tend to focus more on this side. The business is better." I don't know why I'm focused on that other eye. I'm stuck in that. I just noticed that. No, it's good. She was leaning this way.

TALIESIN: You've had your Creole.

MATT: I know, and it's a problem already. She goes, "I've seen it. I've certainly gazed and seen that weird tower. I think that's what you're referring to."

TRAVIS: Indeed.

LIAM: Do you live in these parts, or are you just passing through?

MATT: "Oh no, just passing through. Taking a break. I've only been here for about a week, and then shoving off back to this trade route towards Marquet, probably."

TRAVIS: Oh, a fellow sailor.

MATT: "You a sailor as well?"

TRAVIS: Indeed. Not for some time, I'm a bit out of practice, but yeah.

MATT: "What's your specialty? I might be looking for crew."

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm quite a strong back. Good with rigging, topsail. You name it, I've done it.

MATT: "What's your rank?"

TRAVIS: Oh, I didn't quite make it up past making the crew. I'm afraid higher duty didn't quite suit me.

MATT: "But you're looking to travel?"

TRAVIS: Could be. Do you have work?

MATT: "I maybe got room for one more in the crew if you want to come along. Prove yourself a few days at sea."

TRAVIS: I might stop by. Where is your ship?

MATT: She glances off to the side and points on the far left side of the harbor. "I can't really show you from here. Follow me." She steps up and walks past you towards the front and points to one ship. "Past there, the one with the grayish sails furled up. That's the Drensala Vis. That's my ship."

TRAVIS: Drensala Vis. Your ship? Beautiful.

MATT: "She's been through a lot, but she's stuck with me for many years."

LIAM: Apologies, did we catch your name?

MATT: "I didn't catch yours."

LIAM: Oh, my name is Caleb Widogast.

MATT: "Who is this guy?".

LIAM: Caleb Widogast, and this is my friend Fjord.

MATT: "This your friend?"

TRAVIS: This is my accountant, Caleb Widogast. Very intelligent, good with books and numbers.

MATT: "I've got to say, I'm pretty intrigued by a strong-backed, small-ranked sailor looking for work that walks around with his own accountant.".

LIAM: Well. not specifically to Fjord, but to our group. We are an odd bunch, a collection of people, so you know, we tend to get our noses in things.

TRAVIS: You know how valuable it is to be a jack of all trades. I've tried some things in the meantime while I've been landlocked.

LIAM: When we need to be at sea, we have Fjord. When we need to crunch numbers, we have me, and we have others as well.

MATT: "Caleb Widogast."

LIAM: *Ja.*

TRAVIS: Fjord.

MATT: "Fjord. Just Fjord?"

TRAVIS: Just Fjord.

MATT: "Well, I'm just Captain Adella. Pleasure to meet you."

TRAVIS: The pleasure is all ours. When are you planning to cast off?

MATT: "I think when we round up with a full crew and supplies gathered up. Probably want to take some time to relax here in town for another week or so and then we'll head off. It's probably going to be a good six, seven months' journey before we come back. But if you and your accountant friend are looking to come, we got room for two more."

LIAM: Two only? Do you have room for-- well, it's just six right now.

MATT: "If you want to pay passage."

LIAM: This is certainly possible. You are heading back to Marquet, you say?

MATT: "Yeah, direct. Couple stops along the coast, but--"

LIAM: We'll keep it in mind.

MATT: "Very well."

TRAVIS: It was nice meeting you.

MATT: "You as well."

LIAM: Oh also, I'm sorry, if I could round back for a moment to that tower. I know you don't know much, but it sounds like you've been here longer than we have. Have you heard anything about it? It's so odd.

MATT: "That's about as much as I've heard. I tend not to poke around places that act weird, strange magics and such. Lot of folks that get too curious end up not coming back."

LIAM: Agreed.

MARISHA: (whispering) --that badass, hot captain. And now she's older! She's got the salt and pepper hair!


TALIESIN: I was waiting for a fluorescent light to turn on. No, it was good, you were engaged.

MARISHA: Wasn't she the one that I asked if she was a pirate, right? She was like, "The fuck?"

LIAM: Yeah, we sailed with her. Vox Machina sailed with her.

TRAVIS: Just curious, you don't happen to have any members of your crew by the name of Sabian, do you?

MATT: She goes, "Not in my crew."

TRAVIS: The name sound familiar?

MATT: "Yeah, half-elf fella? Yeah, he was in here a few months back when I was last docked in Nicodranas. Working with that lowlife, Cadmus. Haven't seen him since, though.".

TRAVIS: Cadmus, you said?

MATT: "Cadmus Leeland. You know Cadmus Leeland?"

TRAVIS: The name rings a bell.

MATT: "He's a right fuckface, I'll tell you that."

TRAVIS: A few months, you say?

MATT: "Yeah."

MARISHA: Capnis or Cadmus?

MATT, LIAM, and SAM: Cadmus.

TRAVIS: Does the name ring a bell?

MATT: Make a history check.

LAURA: Why does it sound familiar?

MARISHA: It does sound familiar.

TRAVIS: Because it's a dope-ass name. Oh, that's better. 18!

MATT: You have heard of Cadmus. Cadmus goes under the guise of a shipping merchant that hops from port to port, but for those who work heavily in the shipping lanes, he's known to be a thief, one that skims off the top. Recently, his business has come to a crawl as he's instead been staying out to sea, possibly, from what rumors have said, been involved in the shaking down of ships without means of protecting themselves.

TRAVIS: Motherfucking pirates

MARISHA: He's a pirate. Fucking pirates!

MATT: You also, with that roll, you know the name of his ship: The Widow's Embrace.

TRAVIS: The Widow's Embrace

MARISHA: That also sounds familiar.

LAURA: How do we know that?

TRAVIS: Because it's another good name.

LAURA: Caleb, do you have a memory of this?

LIAM: Yeah, have I ever heard of this boat in all my readings?

MATT: Not in your readings, no. You haven't spent a lot of time studying maritime history.

LAURA: Why is it so familiar?! (whispering) Widow's Embrace, Widow's Embrace, Widow's Embrace.

MARISHA: Was this recently? When would I have written--

TRAVIS: Have we heard this name before?

MATT: I don't think you have.

LAURA: Really?

TRAVIS: Just a good name. Fuck. Damn you and your good name and character creation. Slow it down, man. Fucking us up over here. Giving us alternate dimensions and shit.

MATT: "Why, what's this Sabian to you?"

TRAVIS: An old friend of mine. I owe him some money. If you happen to see him, let him know that Fjord was looking for him.

MATT: "All right, but I'd do my best to stay away from Cadmus. The guy's a right asshole. If your friend's palling around with him, I don't know what kind of shit your friend's getting into these days.".

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm sure it's nothing too savory. He's had terrible judgement in the past.

MATT: At this point, Captain Adella looks over your shoulder a bit and goes, "Anyway, I'm going to go finish my wine. It's been a pleasure."

TRAVIS: I'll turn over my shoulder.

MATT: You guys have moved back into the bar, and in the doorway, you see a figure appear. A looming figure. There's the dark silhouette against the bright sun in the sky behind. You see over one shoulder, some sort of large sack that has been thrown over and held with one arm. The other sits at the side with a sword sheathed across that shoulder. Stepping into the light, you see the familiar and somewhat surprised face of Yasha. Ashley, if you want to jump in here, if you don't mind?

ALL: (cheering)

ASHLEY: Surprise!


SAM: Cue heavy metal music!

ALL: (mimicking heavy metal music)

MARISHA: Where did those flash pots come from?

ASHLEY: Oh hi!


LIAM: Completion! The full set!

TRAVIS: Yeah! Revoke your travel status! Never leave again! Okay, cool.

MARISHA: Oh my god, I know. Hi!


MATT: You guys spin around to see the broad shoulders and intimidating presence of Yasha step into the dark bar interior. Yasha, you step inside looking for a moment of respite and a drink and are caught off guard by the group that is now staring back at you with the same aghast expression.

ASHLEY: Oh, fuck.

LAURA: Oh, fuck!



SAM: I'll run over and give her a big hug on her knees!

ASHLEY: Oh, hello everyone.

LIAM: What are the odds? Pretty slim.

ASHLEY: What are the odds?

MARISHA: I feel like we should talk. Let's get this back corner booth.

LAURA: What are you doing here?

ASHLEY: I'm just passing through here.

LAURA: Did you know we were here? Did you get our message? Did you get my messages?

ASHLEY: No. You sent messages?

LAURA: I sent you lots of messages, Yasha.

ASHLEY: What did they say?

LAURA: Well, they said that we were--

TRAVIS: You can summarize it; it'd be fine.

LAURA: They mostly said that I missed you and that we were going to Nicodranas and we were heading over to find out more stuff about-- I don't remember what we're even doing here in Nicodranas anymore.

SAM: We're here for Fjord and also for you.

LAURA: We're here for Fjord and we're finding out stuff about him and also we saw my mom.

MARISHA: Also, we've never seen the ocean.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I've never seen the ocean either, but--

LAURA: Did you see it now? Because we're here in the city. It's right over there.

ASHLEY: I just got here a bit ago. I've been--

MARISHA: Are you okay?


LIAM: What are you doing here?

ASHLEY: I am trying to get in the water. I need to go somewhere.

TRAVIS: In the water?

ASHLEY: I'm trying to find passage to go somewhere.

LAURA: Go somewhere where?

ASHLEY: (sighs)

TRAVIS: You don't have to tell us.

SAM: No, she has to tell us. Where're you going now? You just got here. We haven't even said hello!

ASHLEY: Yeah. I've been on a journey and I have somewhere to go. At least, I think that I need to go.

LIAM: Immediately? You need to get on a boat?

ASHLEY: Not immediately.

LIAM: Today, tomorrow, or--?

ASHLEY: We can have a drink or two.

LIAM: Could we get a couple bottles of wine over here, please?

MATT: The bartender goes and gathers a couple bottles of wine. That'll run you-- fair or fine wine?

LIAM: Fine wine.

MATT: That'll be, for two bottles, 20 gold.

LIAM: You know, I've changed my mind. The price on that--

TRAVIS: He's getting the cork.

LIAM: Give me the Two Buck Chuck, please.


MATT: For a passing, somewhat briny wine, run you about two gold for two bottles.

MARISHA: I'll buy. It's been a while.

LIAM: For the basic bitch wine, correct?

MARISHA: Yeah. I'm not going to pay for a nice glass of wine for your ass.

SAM: This is Yasha. You can't afford--

ASHLEY: It's fine. I can't tell the difference.

MARISHA: I was talking to Caleb. I'd buy a glass of wine for you.

ASHLEY: Thank you, Beau.

TRAVIS: You may be in luck. We just met a captain of a ship, not two minutes before you walked in.

MARISHA: Yeah. Technically only has one spot on her boat.

SAM: She's going to Marquet. Is that where you're going?

ASHLEY: I don't exactly know where I'm going.

SAM: That will be difficult to find.

MARISHA: So you're on a journey of immediate agency, and you're not sure where you're going, and you think you have to go, but you're not sure?

SAM: She might be under a spell or something, a hypnosis spell. Hit her. Snap her out of it.

ASHLEY: No, I just--

LIAM: You're feeling a calling?

ASHLEY: Yeah. I had dreams of a place that I need to go to.

LAURA: What's it look like?

SAM: Maybe we've been there.

ASHLEY: They're islands.

LAURA: (gasps) My dad is from islands! At least he was. Did you know my dad might be The Gentleman?

ASHLEY: You mean--?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that happened.

SAM: The moist guy.

ASHLEY: The guy that sweats all the time?

TRAVIS: Has all our blood.

LAURA: (whispering) That's why I'm blue!

ASHLEY: Jester!

LAURA: I know!

LIAM: It's probable. It has not been verified.

ASHLEY: So your mom's the Ruby of the Sea, and then The Gentleman.

LAURA: Potentially. I mean, it could've happened.

ASHLEY: He's a pretty interesting man. I wish I could've met your mother.

LAURA: She's right here. You can meet her if you want to. I told her all about you.

ASHLEY: You did?

MARISHA: We have to go punk some guy's ass who's been harassing her. If you want to join us on kicking this guy's ass, and then we can report back to her.

TRAVIS: What's in the sack?

ASHLEY: Just some stuff.

MARISHA: Someone's head? Is it a body? It's a body, isn't it?

LAURA: Is it presents for us? Have you been gathering presents for when you saw us again?

SAM: Ooh, are you super-goth Santa or something?

ASHLEY: Ho ho ho.


MARISHA: We have so many questions.

ASHLEY: Who's this guy that's been messing with your mom?

LAURA: He's this really creepy guy who was trying to get with her, and she's like, "I don't know," and then he's like, "You're only going to be mine!" She's like, "I don't like that," and now he's threatening everybody else that wants to see her.

LIAM: Yeah, you know, your standard angry creeper.

ASHLEY: That sounds like someone whose ass I would like to kick.

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: His name's Algar? Algar Dyomin? Have you heard of him?

MATT: You have no idea who that is.

ASHLEY: I have no idea who that is.

MARISHA: But he has a douchebag sounding name, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that sounds-- I don't even remember it. Algar? Al Gore?

LIAM: Oh no. I'm still struck by the fact that you have walked into this tavern where we are. It means something.

LAURA: It's fate!

LIAM: Is what I'm saying.

LAURA: It's the Traveler.

SAM: Or maybe it's the ball thing, the dodeca. Maybe it brings us all together. Maybe it's special in some way?

MARISHA: Sisterhood of the Traveling Dodecahedron.

TRAVIS: Gross.

LAURA: Maybe.

MARISHA: Seriously though, are you okay after everything? We didn't really leave on the most positive of terms.

ASHLEY: I'll be okay. I've had to work through some things. Speaking of, it looks like you have a new member already in the group.

MARISHA: Well, we're not replacing Molly.

LAURA: Or you.

TALIESIN: We didn't really talk much last time. You were in your own space.

TRAVIS: We didn't really get to explain. You were the last to wake up of the three of us, and by the time you came around, we had met Mr. Clay. He apparently worked in a graveyard? Cemetery? I want to get it right.

LIAM: *Ja.* He was crucial in us getting the three of you out.

ASHLEY: Well, thank you. I'm sure we could've made it if we had more time. But thank you for helping.

TALIESIN: Well, here you are.

ASHLEY: Yes, here I am.

TALIESIN: I think, perhaps it's destiny. Do you believe in destiny?


TALIESIN: But you dream about islands, and you go to them.

TRAVIS: Oh, fucking shit.

SAM: He does this a lot, Yasha.

ASHLEY: I don't know if I like you.

TALIESIN: I know I like you.

SAM: Go with it! Open up, and he'll read into your inner thoughts. That's his power.

MARISHA: You should try some of his dead tea. It's pretty good.

ASHLEY: Your dead tea? What is a dead tea?

TRAVIS: He makes tea out of dead people. I know. Like it sounds.

ASHLEY: What is it? Does it taste good? I'm not opposed to such things. I have a fine palate.

TALIESIN: Let me see you eat a meal, then I'll figure out what tea to give you.

ASHLEY: Oh. Okay. Sounds like a plan.

TRAVIS: How did the vision of these islands come to you?

ASHLEY: Well, they come in my dreams, as most of my visions have. It's the way that I commune with the Stormlord, and-- I don't know. I'm trying to find some purpose for all this, I guess.

TRAVIS: The Stormlord?

ASHLEY: No, I mean, the purpose of all--

TRAVIS: You commune with the Stormlord? *The* Stormlord?

ASHLEY: At least, I think I am.

TRAVIS: That's significant.

MARISHA: I don't have any dreams at night, you guys. Is that worrisome?

SAM: You probably do, but you just don't remember them.

MARISHA: Is that the deal?

SAM: You can sleep with crystals to have a more vivid experience when you dream.

LAURA: Keep a dream journal.

MARISHA: I don't think that's true. Oh, dream journals I think are true.

SAM: Tonight, when it looks like you're really fast asleep, I'll wake you up and ask you what you're thinking about!

MARISHA: Okay. Yeah, deal.

SAM: Great.

TALIESIN: Well, I suppose if the Stormlord put you on this path, then you're with us now because of some divine intervention. I think it's important to follow one's feelings on such things. I commend you.

ASHLEY: Well, thank you.


ASHLEY: What was your name again?

TALIESIN: Caduceus, Caduceus Clay. It's a pleasure.

ASHLEY: Caduceus Clay. That's a very interesting name.

TALIESIN: Thank you, they've been-- your friends have spoken very highly of you in your absence.

ASHLEY: That's very nice.

TRAVIS: We have missed you; we don't mean to pry.

ASHLEY: No, I've missed you guys too, but, sometimes it's just best to go my own way sometimes.

MARISHA: I mean, by all reality, we barely know each other.

ASHLEY: It's true.

LIAM: It is funny how you keep showing up though, like a bad penny.

ASHLEY: Isn't it weird?

TALIESIN: I never understood that penny.

LAURA: I have a weasel! Here.

TALIESIN: Oh, no! Okay, that's-- oh, wow.

LAURA: His name is Sprinkle.

TALIESIN: Sorry, Sprinkle.

ASHLEY: Where did you get-- whoa!

TRAVIS: Interact with that fucking weasel.

MATT: You see this bright crimson weasel that is now curled up in your hand and (chattering).

LAURA: He's not trained yet. Don't lose him.

SAM: Yet?

MATT: It pisses right in your hand.

ASHLEY: That's, uh, that's okay. This is Sprinkle?


ASHLEY: That's a very cute little thing. I don't want to crush it.

LAURA: There's a dog too.

ASHLEY: There's a dog?

LIAM: As soon as the animals come out, I go to talk to the barkeep.

MATT: As you say dog, you look down and you can see the right side of your boot is now being slightly moistened by the urine of the tiny puppy. All the animals are apparently marking you as their territory. But you see this tiny, light brown puppy with big oversized paws and a couple of faint stripes across the fur, these pointy, fey-featured elements, more angular than a softer puppy should, and these eyes look up at you (panting).

ASHLEY: Aww. I do like dogs very much. This is very cute. Who's this--

MARISHA: Oh, sorry.

ASHLEY: What's his name?


ASHLEY: Nugget.

MARISHA: What if we teach Nugget to also be able to bamf to Yasha while she's gone?

LAURA: I know it's been a long time, but her name is Yasha.

MARISHA: It has been a long time, Yasha. Then maybe Nugget can go back and forth between us when we're away.

SAM: To Yasha?

LAURA: Can he blink that far? I mean, when I blink, I blink only ten feet. Believe me, I wanted to go farther, and I just kept blinking.

LIAM: From the bar: it seems very doubtful. Excuse me.

MARISHA: But how cool would that be?

MATT: The somewhat portly half-elf greets you as you approach again. "All right, would you like another drink?"

LIAM: You know, I'm still working on the first one, but I love your establishment--

MATT: "Oh, why wait, it's good to have a backup, right?"

LIAM: *Ja.* I will take a backup, you are correct.

MATT: "All right, very well."

LIAM: While you're pouring, I had a question for you. My friends and I, we have just rolled into town, and while we were walking through, we noticed this very strange tower here. It's so bizarre, what is that place?

MATT: "I'm sorry, what? The big blue tower over in the Quay?"

LIAM: That grows and shrinks when you walk toward and away from it.

TRAVIS: Tide Peak.

LIAM: Don't know the name. Just being casual, you know.

MARISHA: I yell over, Oh now you're interested in the tower!

LIAM: I ignore her like usual.

MATT: "Yeah, I know of it, yeah. Why? Why do you ask?"

LIAM: Well, it's just that it changed-- oh, thank you-- it's just that it changed proportions the closer we got or further away from it, it didn't seem natural.

MATT: "Yeah, it's got some weird sort of illusion magic to it. It's creepy."

LIAM: Whose is it?

MATT: "Belongs to some mage. He's been here for a while; named Yussa."

LIAM: That's it, he's a mystery to the city, I suppose?

MATT: "A mystery to me, I don't fucking go and start climbing up towers to ask questions where they don't belong."

LIAM: You have to be a jackass to climb a tower like that, it's just ripe full of danger.

MARISHA: Stay on task, Widogast! Just quoting your own advice.

MATT: "That's, um--"

LIAM: She's, you know, a crass idiot. Don't mind her. But--

MARISHA: (shouting) Can I get another wine?

MATT: "Same or--?"

SAM: She's right next to you.

LIAM: This close. Good job, asshole!

MATT: He goes and prepares-- looking at this, "Would you prefer a pitcher?"


LAURA: Beau, we need to get going. We need to find Algar.

TRAVIS: It's midday. This guy's like, "Fucking money tourists."

LIAM: Well, thank you for your time. He pours his glass out on the ground out of the bartender's view.

MARISHA: The fuck, what's wrong with you?

LIAM: Subtle. Thank you very much for your time.

MARISHA: (shouting) That was my shoe, asshole!

LIAM: You're yelling at me from across the bar.

MARISHA: You just established that I was next to you.

LIAM: Not in a German accent, Marisha.

SAM: Everyone, please. Yasha has to catch an express bus out of here, so we should probably get to ass-kicking.

LAURA: I can't believe you didn't get my messages!

ASHLEY: Where did you send them to?

LAURA: To your brain!

SAM: Get the magical messages. They should have arrived. That doesn't make any sense, unless if you were under someone's spell?

LIAM: Or sleeping, perhaps.

LAURA: Well I guess I could have sent them while you were sleeping, I guess.

ASHLEY: Did I get any messages?

MATT: Thinking back, you received these words, but not having a lot of experience with this type of spell contact before, you weren't sure if it was you imagining things or having a slight nervous breakdown.

ASHLEY: I did have times when I was walking, where I heard your voice, but I didn't really hear words. It was more like (indiscernible babbling). I didn't get any--

LAURA: I need to be more specific with my messages. You know, and I never got to say, “You can reply to this.” That's an important part of it.

SAM: Well that's four extra words.

LIAM: Also, speaking from experience, sometimes when you're very focused on a task, it can create a blind spot.

LAURA: (sad trombone noise)

TALIESIN: Is there something we can throw? Hold on.

LIAM: That's the worst shit that's ever been said on this show.

SAM: Stay on task, Widogast!


LAURA: How do we find Al Gore-- Algar? Shit!

MARISHA: How do we find Algar?

SAM: We have asked everyone in this bar about everyone else in this town except for Al Gore. I don't think that we have, no. We have not.

MARISHA: We asked about the Sluice.

SAM: The tower. We've asked about Sabian. We've asked about Marquet. We've asked about the Marius guy. We need to ask why we came here.

MARISHA: We've asked Orly about the Sluice, and he said he didn't know.

TRAVIS: Nott, why don't you get up on the table and get everyone's attention and ask the room if they know anything about Algar?

LAURA: Or the Sluice.

MARISHA: I mean, they already know we're all here.

SAM: All right. I take a big swig of booze, stand up on the table, take off my mask.

TRAVIS: Everyone, your attention please! (claps)

MATT: Everyone curls over.

SAM: (shouting) Everyone in the Wayfarer's Cove!

TALIESIN: Is this a good place for Thaumaturgy? Fuck it, let's accent this.

SAM: You're surrounded by a band of goblins! They're everywhere! And they'll come in here unless you tell me the location of Algar! Tell me *now!* And I kick over a chair.

MATT: The chair falls over.

SAM: Two kicks.

MATT: It finds its way to the ground. There's a pause as everyone looks around.

SAM: There's goblins everywhere! They're banging at the windows!

LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy to bang the windows!

LIAM: This is totally the diner scene from Pulp Fiction now.

MARISHA: Maybe add his last name, Dyomin?

TRAVIS: Every fucking last one of you!

SAM: You might know him as Mr. Dyomin?

MATT: There's a continued pause as they all look around.

TALIESIN: Free round for anyone who has any information.

MATT: Doing a pass across everyone in this room, with a discerning eye, especially with your Passive Insight, you get the sense that nobody here really knows this Algar figure.

TRAVIS: We've threatened them with goblin tactics!

SAM: That was, of course, a scene from the one-act play that you can see later tonight.

LAURA: Over at the fancy-- I forget the place that I'm from. The fancy place.

SAM: The Marquis Demesne.

MATT: The Lavish Chateau.

LAURA: The Lavish Chateau!

TRAVIS: I love that monologue.

ASHLEY: Are you guys doing a play?

MATT: Orly is clapping with his giant, mitten-like, clawed tortle hands. “Not too bad!”


LAURA: Let's get out of here and find the guy. Also we have to remember: tonight.

TRAVIS: Midnight.

LAURA: Head to the docks.

SAM: To talk to--

LAURA: Marius.


SAM: First question to Marius: how do you pronounce your last name?

LAURA: Yeah. That's going to be a really important one.

MARISHA: Well, do we want to go by the Sluice Weave? Or is that going to be way too shifty?

LAURA: We can't just go to the Sluice Weave, it's underwater.

MARISHA: Yeah but there's gates.

LAURA: And they said we could get in trouble if we go there uninvited.

MARISHA: So how do we get invited?

LAURA: This is true.

TRAVIS: I mean it couldn't hurt just to do a drive-by and see if we can see anything.

MARISHA: See what kind of paperwork? Or Identification?

LAURA: I thought the gates were underwater?

TRAVIS: I thought they were too. I thought the entrance was underwater.

MATT: That's what you were told from the light keeper at the lighthouse. She said as far as she knew the entrances that she knows of are beneath the docks. Where the land falls off and meets the ocean and the docks are out there, it's somewhere underwater there.

LAURA: Let's go and see if we can see something.

MARISHA: But I mean do we swim?

SAM: How?


TRAVIS: Well, yeah everybody can swim.

SAM: Why don't we take a rowboat? And I'll just stay above the surface and when you guys are ready, tug and I'll pull you up.

TRAVIS: Are you strong enough to pull us up?

SAM: Yasha will stay with me.

LAURA: Yasha can swim though.

MARISHA: Yasha and I want to kick douchebag ass together. It's been so long.


LAURA: I'll hold your hand underwater, Nott.

ASHLEY: Do you want to ride on my back? I am a very good swimmer.

LIAM: That's true, you could piggyback.

LAURA: Like a dolphin.

SAM: I don't understand. We are just going to go out into the harbor and start swimming blindly looking for an underwater gate?

TRAVIS: Got to start somewhere.

SAM: Why don't we send someone first, or at least ask around. Before we just start swimming?

LIAM: Maybe ask a few more questions in a few other places before besides dive bars.

MARISHA: I mean you can't live at the Sluice right? He's got to leave it at some point right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I mean at least if we are heading towards the docks where the entrances are, I'm sure more people will know--

SAM: Let's go!

LAURA: Let's go to the docks!

MATT: All right, you are not that far away, thankfully. You've been hanging around the Restless Wharf for awhile, which is where the tavern was. Striking out towards the edge and looking across the docks there's one large ship that came in and looks like a lot of stuff is being unloaded and is busy on that end. Not that far off of it, the next dock that shoots out and turns to the right, there looks to be a couple of anchored ships there. It's a little less busy, looks like they're currently moored there and not a lot of folks are doing business on or around ships other than just keeping a watch on the docks themselves.

TRAVIS: Should I secure us a rowboat?

TALIESIN: I'm sure that's something you can do.

TRAVIS: Pretty sure I can.


TRAVIS: Is there a ship shack, or something that would lease vessels?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: It's an official term guys, 13.

MATT: You don't see anything in the way of a ship shack right now. You do see a man. An older, grizzled fisherman of some kind or at least a dock worker. He has this long cap on that dangles past his mid-shoulders, in a heavy dark gray cloth shirt that is drenched with sweat like he has been doing hard work throughout the day. You see him currently tying a small rowboat to the edge there and holding it in place.

TRAVIS: Old timer! I'm sorry to bother you, I don't see a mariner's office around here. Is that your rowboat?

MATT: "Oh yeah, this here is my boat. What's your name, sir?"

TRAVIS: Fjord.

MATT: "Fjord. Jimmy."

TRAVIS: Jimmy.

MATT: "Pleasure to meet you."

TRAVIS: Absolutely.

MATT: "You much of a shipman yourself?"

TRAVIS: Little bit, little bit, my friends here were hoping to explore the coast a bit. And if I could put some coin in your pocket, I was wondering if you would mind parting with your vessel here for a little bit.

MATT: We'll say, because you have a sailor's background at this point, you guys converse back and forth for a bit. You swap some stories with him about how he used to be a dockworker, and some of the ships he was on back in the day.

TRAVIS: Tales of the worst greenhorns you've ever worked with.

MATT: Yeah, about five minutes of back and forth you get to the point where both of you laughing and feel comfy. Eventually he goes, "Don't even worry about the money just, I'll keep an eye on out here and don't take it too far out in the bay. When you;re done bring it back."

TRAVIS: That is most kind of you, we are much obliged.

MATT: "Least I could do." He goes ahead and helps untie the boat. You have it at your disposal.

LAURA: Is it big enough for all of us?

TRAVIS: Is it big enough for all of us?

MATT: You can certainly try. Comfortably it can fit four people. Uncomfortably it could fit you all space-wise, you're uncertain as to the ship's ability to hold the load.

MARISHA: Nott, why don't we just pull you along since you have your water-walking ring, it would be like skiing.

TRAVIS: Actually, that's not a terrible idea. I was going to volunteer to be pulled by--

SAM: I weigh less than Yasha's sword. So if you want to save some weight--

LAURA: That's true, Yasha could put the ring on.

SAM: Oh, but I would have to take it off.

MARISHA: Then you could ride in the boat.

LAURA: Yeah, and you would be safe in the boat. Surrounded by water in the ocean.

LIAM: Have we been lead to the boat?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It's tied up to the dock.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm leaving them and I'm going to sit on the boat. I'm pulling out my book and I'm slapping it down and I start to mutter to myself. This is going to take a while.

TRAVIS: Caleb seems very comfortable. Since it only fits a few folks, I--

SAM: I'll stay on the shore, it's fine.

TRAVIS: No you have to come with. I was going to volunteer to trail behind; the armor helps.

LAURA: Maybe I should too because you know, I'm watery now.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right!

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: You are.

LAURA: I am blue and that's the same color as the sea.

TALIESIN: I'm going to get a little smaller so that I take up less space in the boat.

TRAVIS: What? You get smaller? What do you mean?

TALIESIN: I'm going to turn into a shaggy looking half-elf, literally probably look a bit like Shaggy from Scooby-doo.

TRAVIS: Is that a Disguise Self thing?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Does it change your physical weight and stuff?

SAM: I don't think it changes your weight.

MATT: It doesn't change his weight but--

TALIESIN: It changes the amount of volume but I actually do change volumetrically in size though. I can get several feet shorter. It's a firbolg thing.

TRAVIS: Oh it is a firbolg thing! Well fuck that's awesome!

TALIESIN: I can seem up to three feet shorter, but--

SAM: Yeah *seem.*

MATT: Yeah, volumetrically it wouldn't make that much of a difference for you.

TALIESIN: Well, I did it anyway.

TRAVIS: I think you'll be fine actually if Jester and I are trailing behind.

SAM: How is Jester going to trail behind? Because her dad has sweaty palms?

TRAVIS: Some people aren't scared of the water, Nott. It's actually quite safe.

SAM: They are wrong. It's horrifying! There's monsters in it, you can't see down below, it can snuff you out in a few moments.

TALIESIN: You've just described every environment that life can manifest in.

TRAVIS: Look, Nott. And I reach down into the water and touch it with my hand. There is absolutely noth-- (yells). I just fall in right into the water.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Fjord just disappears beneath the surface.

TRAVIS: Just churning bubbles and stuff.

SAM: It's not worth it, let's go!

TRAVIS: I pop back up. See? Totally fine.

SAM: What was it that got you?

TRAVIS: You'll never know.

LAURA: Hey, Yasha.


LAURA: This is the sea.

ASHLEY: Yes, I've--

LAURA: It's pretty huh?

ASHLEY: It is very pretty. Actually I've been looking at it already. At night.

LAURA: Oh so you were lying.

ASHLEY: Yeah, well I just didn't want to tell you guys everything.

TRAVIS: Have you been here a few days already?



ASHLEY: Been here for three days.

LAURA: What?

SAM: That's longer than us! How did you know we were coming?

ASHLEY: I didn't know you were coming.

TALIESIN: Are we calling dibs on the boat?

ASHLEY: Maybe this is the closest ocean that I knew. Maybe your message did get across, Jester, and I did hear it somewhere in the corner of my brain.

LAURA: I like that.


LAURA: I get in the water.

TRAVIS: Well somebody has to ask if anybody has any idea where the entrance to the--

TALIESIN: I think I saw it, if I recall.

TRAVIS: The entrance?

TALIESIN: She pointed it out didn't she? When we were--

MATT: She pointed a basic direction but there was no visual guide to it.

TALIESIN: I'll feel confident in my knowledge, that's fine.

LAURA: Go ask your sailor friend, Fjord!

TRAVIS: I'm in the water with you.

LAURA: Yeah, get back out and go ask him where the Sluice is.

MATT: You come out dripping, the water slowly pouring out from under your armor.

LAURA: Woo! Yeah!

TRAVIS: I'm covered in armor.

LAURA: It's still wet!

TRAVIS: Okay. Price of a good joke I'm afraid. Are you knowledgeable about the entrance to the Sluice Cove? Sluice Weave?

MATT: "I've heard of that but I don't really know much about that, sorry."


MATT: "Good luck though."

TRAVIS: Thanks.

LAURA: Was he telling the truth?

TRAVIS: Yeah, he was telling the truth.

LAURA: How do you know?

TRAVIS: Because I know sailors.

SAM: Are you sure about that? A guy who works on the docks in the harbor where this thing is, wouldn't know the location of everything under the water?

TRAVIS: Why don't you threaten him with a trove of goblins around the wharf while--

SAM: That would have worked! If someone had been a little snappier with the Thaumaturgy.

LAURA: It's my fault, I'm sorry! I yell from the water.

TRAVIS: Is there anyone else on the docks? Anyone else that we can see?

MATT: Yeah. There is a handful of other people that are in the process of-- Largely on the other side where that bigger ship is that's being currently unloaded or loaded into you can't tell from this distance.

TRAVIS: Are there any crownsguard--or I'm going to say zol-eezzo?

MATT: Zhelezo.

TRAVIS: Zhelezo, thank you.

MATT: There are, you can see two Zhelezo that are just patrolling the docks.

LIAM: With all this dicking about, how long would you guestimate I've been muttering in the boat?

MATT: Ten minutes.

LIAM: Ten minutes, okay.

TRAVIS: Hey Beau!


TRAVIS: You know those people skills we've been working on?

MARISHA: Yeah, pretty good.

TRAVIS: You want to ask the Zhelezo if they mind telling some tourists about the fabled entrance to the Sluice Weave?

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. (sigh) All right.


MARISHA: So, my story, just so you know I can really commit to this.

TRAVIS: Ooh good, yeah. Okay.

MARISHA: I'm a tourist.


MARISHA: I'm still Beau, right? I'm Beauregard the tourist.

TRAVIS: You're going to use your real name?

MARISHA: Should I use my real name?

TRAVIS: Try something else.

MARISHA: I'm Julia! From--

TRAVIS: You don't look like a Julia.

MARISHA: I am Leslie.



TRAVIS: Better.


TRAVIS: Totally Tracy.

MARISHA: Okay. I look like a Tracy-- okay.


MARISHA: So I'm Tracy, from Zadash!


MARISHA: (Valley girl voice) And, you know my parents are paying for just a little bit of a spring break so that I can, like, go find myself before I go into college, right? Before I go into uni.

TRAVIS: You know this person, don't you?

MARISHA: Is this a thing?

TRAVIS: This is somebody you've met.

MARISHA: (normal voice) I'm trying to figure it out. because if I'm just me, I'm going to be an asshole. So I have to be somebody else.

TRAVIS: That is very observant. Yeah.

MARISHA: So-- and I heard about this mysterious Sluice entrance. This Sluice thing like--

TRAVIS: Do that.

MARISHA: You want me to do this, yeah. So I should take my hair--

TRAVIS: Yeah, but you don't have hair on the side of your head, so.


MARISHA: Well, here. I'll just use this side, right?

TRAVIS: Yep. Give it the old--Yeah! Fierce.

MARISHA: Is that good? Does that work?


MARISHA: Yeah. Do I find the most insecure-looking guy and then use that?

TRAVIS: I like it, go with it.

MARISHA: All right, I go to the most insecure looking guy.

TRAVIS: We're going into jail.

MATT: Make a general insight check to try and gauge which of them is the most insecure.

SAM: Insecurity check.

MARISHA: Jeez, I need to not use Gil's die ever. 14.

LAURA: Oh, that's not bad!

MATT: That's not bad at all!

MARISHA: It's okay!

MATT: All right. You look and of the two that are there, one of them seems to be pretty preoccupied with the ships that are being loaded. And one of them appears to be half present, probably in mid-daydream, yawning at his post, and looks younger than the other one. Between the two of them, he's probably the most insecure, if you had to decide.

MARISHA: (Valley girl voice) Oh gosh, isn't the water just so beautiful? Man, it's--

MATT: "I'm sorry, can I help you?"

MARISHA: It's hot out here, just so moist. This air, right?


MARISHA: And I-- (sighs) What's your name?

MATT: "I'm sorry, I am working at the moment--"

MARISHA: Oh great, because I could totally use some help.

MATT: You can see his eyes roll and he goes, "What can I do to help you, then?"

MARISHA: Well, you see I'm from out of town-- I'm Tracy, by the way. What's your name?

MATT: He sighs heavily and reaches out and finally takes the hand. He goes, "Hello, I am Zhelezo Merpal."

MARISHA: Merpal, hi. It's just, you know, I'm here and I'm trying to get the true Nicodranas experience while I'm in town and, you know, I just, I've heard rumors from people, you know, about this thing called the Sluice Weave. And you know, I would just love to see it, see if it's real, you know?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: I love imagining Beau in the outfit that she's in.


LAURA: Freaking wraps on her arms.

TRAVIS: Bruises on her arms.

LIAM: A fucking stick up the back.

TRAVIS: An old busted lip, scars.

LIAM: But to be fair, I've seen this many times at St. Patrick's Day parades in New York--


LIAM: (drunk) Excuse me, officer?

MATT: 14?



TRAVIS: Come on, baby.

MARISHA: I'm too dumb to be a risk, right? Too vapid to be a hazard.

MATT: He goes "Oh, that is a very specific curiosity."

MARISHA: I'm into curiosities. I'm a curious person.

MATT: "Well, the Sluice Weave is a series of tunnels that were installed probably a century ago that are responsible for-- They are ducts that guide water from the ocean to a series of small engines in the city that help propel the furnaces that the various businesses and locations here that require that sort of intense power to utilize. It's also--"

MARISHA: Wow! I hear they're haunted. Are they haunted?

MATT: "Well, not haunted, per se. But there are--"

MARISHA: Oh, you gave me a little smirk. They're totally haunted!


MATT: He goes, "Not haunted, but there are elements to it--"

MARISHA: I give him a little (giggle).

MATT: He's like (uncomfortable laugh).


MATT: He goes, "There also-- There are things that help maintain the Sluice ducts, and occasionally help protect elements of the bay if ever it's under attack."

MARISHA: I bet you're first in line to protect the city against an attack, aren't you?

MATT: (sheepishly) "I mean there's been-- You know. About a year ago they had this one ship that came into the-- There were these thieves-- And I happened to be on job at the moment and so-- Yeah!"

MARISHA: Wow! So interesting. So, have you been down there?

MATT: "I haven't been down in the Sluice area, there. The entrance, as far as I know, is mostly hidden, the one inside the city."

MARISHA: Oh, so there's one inside the city?

MATT: "Somewhere, I don't know."

MARISHA: Oh wow. I heard there was one in the ocean!

MATT: “Yeah, there's two or three, I think, that are right down off the side-- Here, come here." And he leads you over.

TRAVIS: We're all just aghast. Just like--

MARISHA: I turn to Fjord and I go (gagging sound).

MATT: (laughs) He leads you over across the dock for a bit. And he points down in the water and goes, "I think somewhere in the vicinity there is sort of the intake tube or pipe, where the ocean water is brought in to the Sluice ducts."

MARISHA: Sounds like it's got a lot of suction in the intake.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. This cake needs more layers, girl!

MARISHA: Perception? Is that what you said?

MATT: Perception, yes.

MARISHA: Okay. 15.

MATT: From this distance it's too hard to see beneath the water. It gets a little too murky. But he points in a general direction and you get a loose idea of where it may be.

MARISHA: Wow, yeah. Cool.

MATT: He's like, "So what are you up to here in the city?"


MARISHA: Wow! Yeah, you know, I'm just so busy. You know, just trying to fill my schedule with things. I should probably go now.

MATT: "Of course! Where are you staying?"

MARISHA: (forced giggling) I'm staying at the Lavish Chateau!

MATT: "Oh, wow! That is a very expensive place."

MARISHA: I know. You probably couldn't afford it, so--

ALL: Ooh!

MATT: You can see the visible (pained grunt) to his chest. He's like, "Well, perhaps I'll-- If you want other things to see around the city when I'm not on my post, I could maybe come by and give you a little tour?"

MARISHA: Sure, that sounds great!

MATT: “Of course. What are you doing right now? I only have about 40 minutes until I get to switch my shift, and then I'm off for the rest of the afternoon.”

MARISHA: (forced giggling)

TALIESIN: This is everything I wanted.

LIAM: This is so painful, I feel like I should make a concentration check on my spell.

MARISHA: You know. I'm actually doing a quick little boat tour, just right over there. But I'll be right back, okay bye!


MATT: He looks a bit flabbergasted.

MARISHA: Just over there. I'll be right back! Just-- (giggle)

MATT: "See you later! What was it? What was the name? Tracy?”

MARISHA: Tracy! What's your name?

MATT: He sits there for a second and goes "Tracy--"

MARISHA: Oh wait, your name is Marisol--

MATT: Yeah, Merpal.

MARISHA: Porpal? Marpol?

MATT: (laughs) Merpal.

MARISHA: Merpal! Merpal?

TRAVIS: Don't write that down.

MARISHA: (heavy breathing) That was--

LAURA: Wait. Wouldn't it be funny if that was Marius?

MATT: Yeah, no. Different name. He thinks to himself, "Tracy." And continues the rest of his post along the dockside.

MARISHA: I need a shower.

TRAVIS: *Where* did that come from?

MARISHA: I don't know, I think it was something deep down inside me that I actually really hate. That it's there. It's maybe always been there. And then I had to-- (deep breath) Let's go. I don't want to talk about that anymore.

LAURA: She lives inside of you.

MARISHA: Who the fuck is Tracy?

TRAVIS: Let's go.

MATT: So, what are you doing?

LIAM: I'm casting Find Familiar and I'm changing Frumpkin's shape.

MATT: Into a--?

LIAM: Octopus.

MATT: Ooh!

TRAVIS: An octopus?

MARISHA: It's come true!

MATT: As you guys all begin to gather into the boat, the two of you, I think you said you're staying off to the side? Jester and Fjord?

MARISHA: I guess so.

TRAVIS: We're getting into the water and we'll just either hold on to the back, or if we have rope on the dock, I'll just tie four foot--

MATT: Yeah, there's extra rope available. So you guys swim beneath as it continues off through the water.

SAM: As we're untying the boat-- Right? It's tied up? As we're untying the boat, I'm going to hide behind a pillar.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Do we see her?

MATT: We'll find out. Roll a stealth check.

SAM: That's a two.

MATT: Plus?

SAM: Plus ten.

MATT: Everyone but Fjord sees you.


LIAM: Nott the Brave, are you coming with us?

SAM: Oh yeah, I was just checking the rigging.

LIAM: Come on, I saved a seat up by me and Frumpkin.

SAM: Great. I'm coming.

TALIESIN: You'll be all right.

LIAM: I have Frumpkin slither his way onto Nott's back and do a cozy hug from behind over the shoulder. Not on the head.

LAURA: Like Clarota. Like (brain-sucking sound).

LIAM: No, because that's weird. So just over the shoulder, and then the tentacles tickle her face and stuff.

MARISHA: And that's not weird?

LIAM: That's the joke.

TRAVIS: There you go.

LAURA: Don't worry, Nott. If you fall over the side, Fjord and I will catch you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're literally back here as a safety net, so don't fret.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Beau? Point us in the direction that your boyfriend alluded to.

MARISHA: Fuck you, man. It's over there.

MATT: You guys begin to row over in that direction. Who all is keeping an eye in the water?

TRAVIS: In the water?

MATT: All right. Go ahead and make a perception check, please.

LIAM: Can I assist by throwing Frumpkin into the water and looking?

MATT: Sure! So go ahead and take advantage on that, between you and Frumpkin.

MARISHA: Poor Frumpkin.


MATT: Okay. Glancing through the water, you watch as one of the sun rays definitely hits a clear patch of the ocean below you. And you see a brief glimmer of what looks to be a-- either metal or stone piece that is different from the rest of the natural, slightly eroded rock. You see a circle, maybe a four or five-foot wide opening that's about 40 feet down.

TALIESIN: Frumpkin, go take a look at that, if you wouldn't mind.

LIAM: Frumpkin, go take a look at that, if you wouldn't mind. (splash sound) Down towards it.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: And I have my hand on Nott's shoulder, doing that thing.

MATT: Okay. So, there is a circular pipe entrance or a tunnel entrance. 40 feet down, right as the water gets darker and more murky. Bits of clustered seaweed begin to come up and tickle the bottoms of Frumpkin's tentacles in that vicinity. Elements of it are blocking the front, but you can clearly see there is a dark tunnel that continues into the earth, beneath the city, beneath the docks. You don't know how far it goes, necessarily.

LIAM: Do Frumpkin and I see anything alive or moving down here?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Pretty good. 18.

MATT: You do not see anything alive or moving in this vicinity. Best you can see, the tunnel continues in for about 15 or so feet. And there is a metal grate. You can see eight or so bars across. Actually, about 10 bars, about an inch thick each. And they're horizontal, though it's a little bit tilted to one side.

LIAM: How far apart are each of the bars?

MATT: With eight of them and it's about four and a half, five feet across. Sorry, ten across. It would be about six inches between each.

LIAM: I think my octopus could probably squeeze through that.

MATT: Yeah, your octopus could.

LIAM: (plopping sound)

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Are you saying what you see?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Caleb, are the bars rusted? Did they seem rusted at all?

LIAM: Did they seem rusted?

MATT: Oh, the bars? There wasn't a lot of rust, as much as there is a lot of barnacles and other natural sediment that is gathered on edges of it. You can still see the metal. You can see a little bit of rust here and there. Looks like more natural elements seem to have crusted and clustered around parts of it.

LIAM: I'm going to urge Frumpkin on further, see what we can see. Frumpkin has dark vision.

MATT: Okay.

MATT: About-- Let's see here. About 60 or so feet into the tunnel, it curves upward.

MARISHA: 60 feet.

SAM: 40 feet down, 60 feet into the tunnel, and then up, still under water.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Up he goes.

MATT: All right. About 30 or so feet up the water breaks. There's a surface, though there is no light. Does Frumpkin's octopus form have darkvision?

LIAM: Darkvision, yes.

MATT: Yes. Okay. So does Frumpkin--

LIAM: Yeah, crests up and pokes his eye nubs out of the water.

MATT: Okay. Frumpkin floats there on top for a second, and you can see now where it emerges--

LIAM: Looking for anything moving here, while we're up here.

MATT: There is another set of bars right at the top of that tunnel, that Frumpkin has pushed and squeezed through to come through. So there's bars, like a grate, on the way in, and then a grate once you curve upward into the tunnel.

LIAM: So he's come through a second set.

MATT: Come through a second set, and then breaks the surface of the water about a foot beyond that. And now you can see, it is closed off mostly, except for a tunnel that continues deeper in the same direction that the lower tunnel went. And that one continues on for a bit.

LIAM: Muttering all this as it happens.

LAURA: Is there any air between the water and the grate?

MATT: There is no air between the water and the grate.

LIAM: This is all water.

MATT: Yeah. It's all water up, and then there's the grate, and then it turns into this tunnel that continues inward, and there's about a foot of water beyond that, and then there's air from that point.

LIAM: I'm going to speed him back to the first grate, and have him took for the locking mechanism if there is one.

MATT: Make an investigation check for Frumpkin.

MARISHA: Oh, you have Knock. That's right. Fuck yes.

LIAM: That's investigation.

SAM: Doesn't work underwater.

LIAM: Or through an octopus. That's a 14.

MARISHA: That's true, if you can't speak, actually.

MATT: 14? You can still mutter the incantation underwater.

MARISHA: (gurgling)

LIAM: I think you said last campaign that you can hold the air for one spell, possibly.

MATT: Yeah, in the process of casting a spell, if you're holding your breath, that's your breath.

TRAVIS: (garbled) Go fuck yourself.

MATT: That's the way to do it. Looking, there is no locking mechanism. The grate isn't one that opens and closes. it's not a door, it's just in place.

LIAM: Okay. So he will swirl away and go back to the second and do the same look around.

MATT: Another investigation check.

LIAM: *Ja.*

TRAVIS: While he's doing that, can I pop my head underwater and look around, just make sure there's no-- anything coming around?

MATT: Perception check.

MATT: The second grate also appears to not have a locking or unlocking mechanism; they aren't meant to be removed, it seems, in a casual way. They seem to be placed there intentionally for an indefinite period of time.

LIAM: Okay. All right, buddy.


MATT: 17? You see a number of fish swirling through the various bits of kelp and seaweed that are pushing up from the bottom of the bay below. It's beautiful. You can see the colors and glistening bits of silver as the fish curl through the sunlight, but nothing catches your attention as dangerous in your immediate vicinity, thankfully.

ASHLEY: Could I look to see if anyone's watching us out on the shore?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM and TRAVIS: Go Yasha. Go Yasha, go!

ASHLEY: I don't think I actually see anything. I think I forgot my glasses.

MATT: What did you roll?

ASHLEY: I rolled a seven.

MATT: Okay. You look out and people seem to be working on the dock and, you know.

ASHLEY: We're safe.

LIAM: I'm sending him forward. And I do.

MATT: Okay. So you're sending him further in?

LIAM: Past-- you said it goes now straight that way?

MATT: The tunnel goes on for about another 60 or so feet beyond that grate, before the tunnel opens up into a square-like chamber with a singular pillar that marks the center of it. It's still one foot of water all throughout this entire area. Once you go past this-- You can look past where this pillar is, the chamber seems to close off and another tunnel continues on, almost like this is just a waypoint chamber. On the right side, you see a much smaller grate: maybe a foot and a half, two feet across, with a more dense cross-lattice of bars.

LIAM: Not able for Frumpkin to squeeze through that, I'm guessing.

MATT: Frumpkin's size? How big of an octopus is Frumpkin? An octopus, I'd say it would be about that big.

LIAM: I'm imagining I am not summoning a gigantic octopus.

MATT: But octopuses can squeeze through some pretty small spaces. Yeah, so I'd say make an athletics check for tiny octopus Frumpkin.

LIAM: And that would be strength-based, yeah? Because it doesn't say on his thing. That is a nine.

MATT: A nine. Frumpkin gets partially through but the nature of the lattice and Frumpkin's unfamiliarity with the octopus form reaches a point where it can't quite get all the way through.

LIAM: That's true! It's only his second time. Okay buddy, forget that. Back it up. Is there anything unique about the pillar down here or is it just basic stonework?

MATT: Looks like basic stonework, it has a slight curvature to it but it's probably placed in here either as a load bearing piece since this is beneath a heavier city or-- It doesn't look remarkable or have any other purpose beyond just being a support pillar.

LIAM: Are Frumpkin and I able to tell if this goes water all the way to the ceiling of this chamber or is it water with air above? Or it's all water?

MATT: The water only goes up to a foot, and then it's air for the rest of it. It's about ten or so feet tall, the chamber.

LIAM: Okay. Is there anything out of the ordinary if he pokes his head up out of the water?

MATT: Make a perception check?

LIAM: 17.

LAURA: Getting bored sitting in the water out here.

SAM: No! It's every lovely we should just stay here all day.

MATT: No guys, no better adventure then having all your friends sit back and send your tiny friend.

LIAM: You could always punch the wizard in the head at any time.

MATT: Yeah, exactly! No, I know.

LAURA: Hey Yasha, let's go try to break through that grate.

MATT: So, 17? Looking around the water and it's salt water, it's all ocean water coming in here. Occasionally, you see slight waves, little ripples from different directions.

LIAM: Okay so back on the boat I just say, I have gone very far with him and it just keeps going. What do you guys want to do?

LAURA: Get him back here and let's try to get through that grate!

ASHLEY: Are there any like buttons or key holes in any of the grates?

LAURA: He looked through Frumpkin's eyes and there was nothing.

LIAM: I can't hear any of you, so tap me if you want me to keep going: one time tap me or two times if you want me to pull Frumpkin out.

LAURA: I flick him in the back of the head three times.

LIAM: I said one or two, I don't know what that means.

SAM: I'll gently tap you twice.

LIAM: What are we doing?

TALIESIN: Based on that description I want to see if I can figure out what buildings would be directly underneath, do my own mental map of what has been described.

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

TALIESIN: Oh dear.

TRAVIS: 40 down, 40 across, 30 up.

TALIESIN: Make an intelligence check?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right, that will be fun.


MATT: It's probably a little over 100 feet beyond where you are now, though you are probably in the boat about 15 or 20 feet back. So it's about 125, 130 feet. Which you couldn't-- because it's 100 foot range for to--

LIAM: Pull him back?

MATT: To pull him back yeah.

LIAM: Then I would tell him then to swim back. If we, in our game, are allowing connection as long as it's not broken, I would just tell him to come back.

MATT: Okay, cool. So you are fine. Best you can tell over there it looks like some sort of warehouse. It's a larger storage building, it's not remarkable in its design or decor.

TALIESIN: Maybe that thing is, maybe directly on top of what you were looking at.

SAM: I think that's a great idea.

TRAVIS: I think that's a good place to start. However, if you wanted to test your strength I would be very careful! Remember it was an intake, so you could get down there and all of a sudden the suction and the water would make it very difficult for you to back out.

LAURA: Well Frumpkin wasn't getting sucked in, was he?

TRAVIS: I'm just saying it could be unpredictable. It could turn on, turn off.

ASHLEY: I'm okay with unpredictable.

LIAM: I mean, I could also if we want to hang a little longer I can just send him. You know I don't want him to be squished but I can send him as far as he can go to see what he hits. It's up to you.

LAURA: No! I want to go try to break through the grate.

TRAVIS: Okay, who is going down?

SAM: The strongs.

MARISHA: I'll hold a rope.

ASHLEY: Can you keep him down there just to watch us?

LIAM: Yeah, of course. Frumpkin is now like a backpack on Yasha's back.

MATT: The tentacles wrap over the shoulders and underneath.

LAURA: Hold on to Spr-- Oh! I can't do it.

SAM: What?

LAURA: I'm afraid you are going to eat my weasel.

SAM: No! I had a lot of seagulls yesterday for dinner, I'm very full still.

LAURA: You promise me you won't eat him?

LIAM: That really sounds like a euphemism.

TRAVIS: Yeah it does.

SAM: I will not eat your weasel.

TRAVIS: What about the damn puppy?

MATT: The puppy is in the boat like (panting, barks).

LAURA: Don't eat the puppy either. Promise.

SAM: Too bony.

LAURA: Promise?

SAM: Too bony. Promise.

LAURA: No, Nott!


LAURA: You promised me.

SAM: I promise I will not eat your weasel today.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Beau's holding onto a lead line.

LAURA: Let's go!

TRAVIS: Big breath. (deep inhale)

MATT: The three of you dive down. Which one of you has the lead line?


MATT: Who has the other end of it?

TRAVIS: I'll take it.

MATT: Fjord has it. You guys all dive down, taking a breath, pushing through the seaweed until eventually you come to the base of where that tube is. A few feet into it, you see the grate, and it's about roughly four and a half, five-foot diameter so you have to crouch down, but you can get a hold on this.

LAURA: Oh yeah, let's get a hand on it and brace our feet against the tunnel and on the count of--

MATT: All right. One of you roll with advantage or you both roll independently.

LAURA: It was a practice count! What'd he say?

ASHLEY: Do you want to roll? He said roll with advantage or roll independently.

LAURA: Let's roll independently.

ASHLEY: This is a strength check?

LIAM: While they're rolling, I grab Nott's shoulder and turn on the Jacques Cousteau camera on Yasha's back.

SAM: Ooh.


MATT: 20?

ASHLEY: Not a natural 20.

MATT: Right, but 20 total?


MATT: That's the DC you needed.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, really?

MATT: Yeah, so you both are holding on and pulling. You get your foot in some of the imperfect stonework where elements of the masonry pokes out which gives you a foot groove and one part where some of the stone had been rotted away and that's just enough of a point to lock yourself in. As you pull, you feel (shifting) and eventually it comes out of its mooring on the wall and then slides off to the side. You rotate it a bit and it comes to rest in the middle of it.

MARISHA: That is the coolest!


LAURA: (pointedly humming)


MATT: So you guys go ahead and come back onto it again.

TALIESIN: I'm keeping an eye out.

TRAVIS: Did not think that was going to work.

ASHLEY: I didn't either, but it's open.


ASHLEY: At least one of them.

SAM: Amazing!

LAURA: She's really strong.

MARISHA: Okay, here's my other question, though: can we hold our breath that long?

LAURA: Did it seem like it was hard to hold our breath while we were doing all of that?

MATT: Well, you guys all have pretty high constitutions, so not really.

ASHLEY: Should we try the other one?

LAURA: Yeah, let's try the other one!

MATT: It works out, just so you guys know, your constitution modifier is how many minutes you can hold your breath underwater.


LAURA: Really?

TRAVIS: David Blaine up in this bitch.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm all right, too. That's cool.

TRAVIS: Make a summer home underwater.

LIAM: My constitution must be low, mine's three.

TRAVIS: My swim speed is my regular speed.

SAM: Our swim speed is half?

MATT: Actually, technically, it's one plus your constitution modifier, so it's even more.

LAURA: Ooh, nice! Okay, we try to go to the second one and break through. Okay, so this time, I'll be more specific. I'll go hm, hm, hm, and then we pull it! Yeah, one, two, three, pull!

ASHLEY: We're pulling down right after three.

LAURA: Yeah. One, two, three, pull!

MARISHA: So you guys are going to go down and come back up again, and then we'll all go?

TRAVIS: I'm staying at the mouth with the other end of the rope. You guys are going in.

MARISHA: Hopefully the rope can go this far? How long is this rope?

MATT: The rope you found here? It's probably 60 to 70 feet at most.

TRAVIS: That's why I'm at the mouth of the--

MARISHA: Tie it up to the mouth of the grate.

TRAVIS: They can just come up it, yeah.


MATT: All right, you do that. You guys all jump back in a second time?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You dive back down below, pushing through the darker depths of the bay, eventually finding yourselves back to the tunnel where the grate has been shifted to the side. So now you have, at an angle underneath, you can swim over or under it. You guys pincer off of it, taking two different directions, and meeting on the opposite side. You go a few more lengths before the tunnel shifts upward. You both have darkvision, if I recall? Good, because there was no light source in the water, beyond just the distant glow and shifting of the sunlight through the water. You make your way back up, and you find the grate above you. This area, the footholds aren't as easy because it's not quite as close to the elements, so the DC's a little higher, but if you guys grab hold, you can go ahead and make a check.

MARISHA: High, come on, you guys. Oh my goodness.

LAURA: Natural 20!


MARISHA: Fuck yes, Jester!

ASHLEY: I got a ten.

MATT: That with your modifier is a 23?

LAURA: 23.

MATT: 23, okay! You both hold on this time. You're having a hard time getting any sort of a foothold into the space. Jester, you angrily look down and taking your elbow, you jam a section of the stone until it breaks off and you find a section of--

LAURA: Hot. I say about myself.

MATT: Noticing this Yasha, you do the same and smash. You guys actually break a few footholds into the side of this tunnel. Once you're set into place, you look at each other, count to the right moment and pull! I mean, you've seen Jester do some cool stuff, but in that moment it's a Rosie Riveter--


MATT: Muscle moment-- as guns going, the metal bars bend slightly (metal creak). From underneath the water, you hear the echo and then it comes loose from the mooring and begins sinking down towards both of you. The heavy metal is now sandwiching you guys towards the bottom and you push off and manage to get it to rotate and you swim around it without having an issue.

LAURA: Up and up?

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Up and breathe!

MATT: You guys make it to the surface (splash) (sharp inhale) and you're now inside the tunnel. It's strangely--

ASHLEY: Jester, you are very strong.

LAURA: So are you!

ASHLEY: Man we're like a strong couple of women!


ASHLEY: Okay, let's see what is out here.

MARISHA: Oh man, we're like a strong couple of women.

TRAVIS: Since I saw them go up, I'm going to swim forward to where I saw them disappear, and seeing the grate gone, I'm going to come back out and make my way up towards the boat to let them know they made it through.

MATT: Okay, you guys watch as Fjord breaks the surface without the other two.

SAM: Are they alive?

TRAVIS: Yeah, they made it through the second grate.

SAM: Oh!

LIAM: Yeah, just like I told you, they made it through the second grate.

SAM: Oh, because you can see.

LIAM: I can see.

TRAVIS: Oh, why am I even coming back? (inhale) (splash)

MARISHA: I dive in and follow.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Are we just leaving a boat here, is that the--.

LAURA: Oh, well that'll totally--

SAM: No, don't worry, I'll take it back to the shore for us in stealth.

TRAVIS: The bottom rope is tied to the bottom so if you tie the rope to the boat, you got yourself an anchor or a moor.

MARISHA: You guys want to try and meet us where that pillar is?

SAM: Sure! I'll go to the warehouse and try to break in.



MARISHA: Sounds terrible.

LIAM: I think it's a better idea for us to stay together. Nott, you know this is a recurring thing and I think we should-- what is going on? What is this?

SAM: I don't like water.

LIAM: Yeah, but what if we need to go through water?

SAM: Mostly we don't. We don't live near the ocean.

LIAM: Mostly, but right now we need to.

SAM: It's not-- I don't. (sigh)

LIAM: Let me make a suggestion. And I cast Suggestion.

SAM: Oh, shit.


TRAVIS: Yeah! Yes! Break through that shit!

TALIESIN: Better than what I was going to do.


LIAM: I think you should just try it one time and see how it goes, and if it goes well then we know that you are good for the future.

TRAVIS: (creepy voice) Try it, you might like it.

MATT: I would like you to make a wisdom saving throw, Nott, please.

SAM: Three.


(laughter and cheers)

MATT: Your fear subside momentarily and you find yourself instinctually nodding as you know what, maybe trying it once and seeing how it goes is exactly what Caleb would want.

SAM: Yes well, you do know best Caleb. All right, this sounds like a good idea.

LIAM: Yeah we are--

MARISHA: You want to dolphin ride my back?

SAM: Sure-- are you a good swimmer?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm all right.

SAM: All right?

MARISHA: I mean I might not be Fjord levels but yeah I can swim.

LIAM: And all she does is eat fish and do push-ups, I think she'll be good underwater.

SAM: I'm going to take a big swig of whiskey and climb on Beau's back. (sigh) All right dolphin lady, ride me.


SAM: Sorry.

MARISHA: It's the other way--

LIAM: It's the booze talking.

MARISHA: Yeah, all right. I wait… Deuces, you coming in?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

SAM: All right mermaid, scale me down.

MARISHA: Yep, that whiskey's working. Ready? We're going to do this together.

MARISHA AND SAM: (breathing heavily)

MARISHA: One, two, three and we go.

SAM: (squealing)

MATT: (splash) Going under water, you hear the--

SAM: (still squealing)


MATT: The diminishing squeak as it slowly vanishes beneath the surface. Caduceus and Caleb sitting up in the ship with a weasel and a puppy.

LAURA: Oh no, the animals!

MARISHA: Oh yeah, what are we doing with the animals?

SAM: I'm holding the weasel!

LAURA: Oh god! No, it's going to die!

TRAVIS: We got to get rid of them at some point!

LAURA: No! I don't want it to die!

TRAVIS: Let it happen! Let it happen!


MATT: So, as Beau swims-- now Beau, go ahead and make an athletics check for me because you are technically carrying two passengers.

MARISHA: That weasel is about to die!

ASHLEY: Oh, my god.

MARISHA: An athletics check?

LAURA: And the dog is just on the boat!

MARISHA: Is that cocked?

SAM: That's a little cocked.

MATT: It's a little cocked.

MARISHA: I can do the balance thing.

LIAM: It's technically, it's slightly cocked.

MATT: Yeah, that counts.

MARISHA: Counts?

LIAM: It is cocked.

MARISHA: It's a good roll though.

TRAVIS: It's cocked as fuck.

MATT: No, if you can rest a d4 on it.

MARISHA: It's the test.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's okay.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's an okay roll. 21.

MATT: Strongly pushing through, using the grate to go ahead and pull yourself forward beneath the surface. You bring your goggles down so you can actually see where you're going once the light begins to subside. You still hear in the water above you (squeal).

MARISHA: I totally forgot about the weasel by the way.

MATT: Oh, you don't even know. You know nothing about it. You're just like "I got this." Swing upward, break the surface. (inhale) Come up from the top and there you can see Yasha and Jester waiting for you, they are stepped up into the tube.



LAURA: You made it!

SAM: (nervous laughter)

MARISHA: (out of breath) You did good.

SAM: Wow, that was invigorating.

MATT: You hear (coughing up water). You look down as this waterlogged weasel is now like coughing and sneezing.

LAURA: Ah! Sprinkle!

MATT: It's awake and conscious. You're just pushing on its chest.

LAURA: Where's Nugget?

SAM: I don't know. You didn't have me look after Nugget.

LIAM: So this is a bit of a problem because nobody thought of the dog and that's why I knew it was a bad decision to purchase it in the first place. Because now we are stuck with a dog. So what do we do Caduceus? What do you think?

MARISHA: Can we get the dog to blink to us?

TRAVIS: No, don't do that, the dog will die.

TALIESIN: See Nugget, here's the situation. Everybody else is going into this thing in the tunnel. I don't know if you want to go into the water, if you want to just hang out here and hope that everything goes okay or if you've got a preference. But, I'll tell you what. You can hop on with me if want to go with us on this adventure. If you'd rather just sit here, I'll leave you a little food and we'll probably be back in a couple of hours.

LIAM: You're speaking in Sylvan, correct?

TALIESIN: Yeah, of course.

LIAM: *Ja,* I'm listening in Sylvan.

TALIESIN: So you just want to hang I guess?

MATT: It's just sitting in the boat, looks over the edge "(whining)."

TALIESIN: You want to come with me?

MATT: Make a persuasion check. Actually this would be animal handling.

TALIESIN: Animal handling?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: 20--I'm sorry not 20, 18.

MATT: In your robes, there's a comfortable little cradle that you form there and then (puppy whining) (poof) and then appears into the small pocket in your arm.

TALIESIN: Hold your breath on the count of three.

LIAM: In Sylvan, Caleb says, If it goes wrong, pup, you know, bamf out and in and maybe that'll buy you a little more time.

TALIESIN: Oh you'll be fine, we'll just give you a little, I can just give you a little tap if anything goes wrong.

LIAM: I don't care, let's go. (splash)

TALIESIN: I'm going to slow my breathing, I'm going to take one last look around to see if anyone notices any of the commotion that we're causing.

MATT: Perception check.

TALIESIN: Perception check.

LAURA: I really should have left the puppy with my mom.

TALIESIN: Yeah, my perception check was bad for me, which is an 11.

MATT: Looking around, no one, in particular, seems to be paying much mind to what your business is.

TALIESIN: I've slowed my breathing, I've calmed myself and I'm just going to take a very gentle dive and move in.

LAURA: And we tied the boat, yeah?

MARISHA: I think so.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we tied the boat.

MATT: I will ask you to make an athletics check because you are swimming mostly with one arm and your legs, as you are cradling the puppy with the other.

TALIESIN: Athletics check, that one was not so good.


TALIESIN: That's a three.


MATT: (exertion noises) You make your way, partway through the tunnel and under the grate. You get past that point, look up, you push off.

LAURA: Oh god!

MATT: You're tired, your lungs are starting to hurt from just the amount of effort it's taking to go this distance with one arm and your legs kicking. You've waded in the ponds near the graveyard--

TALIESIN: Never done this before.

MATT: You're not a practiced swimmer.


MARISHA: Yeah do you have hooves?

TALIESIN: I can thankfully hold my breath a long time.

MATT: Correct, the puppy though.

TALIESIN: The puppy is having-- am I feeling a twitch, or is it having a--?

MATT: Not yet, no. Make another athletics check--

MATT: For the second half of this journey.

TALIESIN: Oh that's better, 18.

MATT: Okay! Yeah, you get down low to the bottom of it and push upward. Right at that moment, you see this little burst of bubble (poof) in your arm, just as your about to break the surface. You look down, frightened, and he's not there and as you look up, break the surface (inhale) come up and you watch as (poof) in the air--


MATT: You catch Nugget (panting). Just waterlogged, dripping.

TRAVIS: You brought the dog?

LAURA: Yay Nugget!

TALIESIN: He wanted to come.

MARISHA: Holy shit, the dog and the weasel survived. A hundred foot swim underwater.

LAURA: We have really good pets.

SAM: Are we all here? Caleb, are you here?

MATT: The weasel looks miserable. Sprinkle is just like (snarling)

LAURA: I'll put him in my hood and stuff and warm up.

MATT: He curls up in there.

TRAVIS: Where's Caleb?

LIAM: Yeah I'm here. I would have beat Caduceus here, because he was struggling. I'm so proud of you! You made it all this way.

SAM: I just had a feeling overcome me, that I was-- I've never done anything like that before.

LIAM: Do you know what the good news is? You're going to have that feeling for the next seven hours and 50 minutes.

SAM: It's not real, is it?


LIAM: Make an insight check.


SAM: I'll just start drinking.

MATT: You're all clustered up in this small tunnel. It's maybe eight feet across, and its cylindrical in its shape.

TALIESIN: I'll look around.

MATT: About a foot and a half of water, depending upon where you're standing in it, and it continues down, dark into the next chamber.

LAURA: What if the water comes in while we're in here?

TRAVIS: That'd be bad.

LAURA: We should probably hurry up then, huh?

LIAM: Also, there is a small grate just down here. Frumpkin was not able to get through it, but maybe one of you two ladies could bust that open.

LAURA: We could try.

ASHLEY: Yeah. We could give it a go.

TRAVIS: It's only about a foot and a half across, right?

LIAM: It's right over there.

TALIESIN: Let's head quietly in that direction I think might be--

MARISHA: But then what?

SAM: Frumpkin!

LIAM: Octopus.

MATT: Do you point out the grate to them?

LIAM: Yeah, I did.

MATT: As you guys have moved through the tunnel, into the small chamber break in the tunnel path there with the pillar, Caleb points over to the grate, and you can see it's a pretty dense lattice of metal.

LAURA: Can we get our fingers in?

MATT: Yeah, you can get your fingers in. There's enough space there to get your fingers in more. Each bar is about two inches apart from each other.

TRAVIS: Thunder queens.

LAURA: Let's try it.

ASHLEY: Let's do it.

LAURA: Can we try to bust it out?

MATT: Sure. Go ahead and make another strength check. The beast team here.

LAURA: Nine.


MATT: (exertion noise) You get the sense-- first off, your fingers are sore and your arms are strained from the two previous exerts that you've given. And you've done impressive things, but you get the sense that this is probably-- because it's smaller, it's wedged into a little tighter in the small tunnel. The actual tunnel there is maybe about a foot across, a foot and a half across. Most of you would not even fit through it, but you're unable to get it to budge at all.

LAURA: Can we see through it at all? What's in there?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: As they're looking, I'll just creep towards the pillar and cautiously peek around.

TALIESIN: Is this a fancy room or is this just a more of a--

MATT: Looking around, it resembles a subterranean sewer, it's mostly just stone and masonry that's slick from the moisture. And the air itself is very humid down here. There is a lot of moisture that gathers across the stone, and there's streaks of color and minerals that have gathered on the walls over time. You still have the taste of the brine in your mouth from your time under the ocean, but the air in here is still also very ocean-like and salty.

LAURA: Does it seem like water is ever up along the walls, or does it seem like the water is always at the level it's at?

MATT: Make an investigation check..

MARISHA: While she does that, can I look and see if there's any writing on the wall?

LAURA: 18.

MATT: Looking at it, there are certain markers and the levels that say that there have at times been different levels of water in here, but it doesn't seem often enough, like certain levels of minerals and sediment that you can see. But a lot of them seem older, and haven't been reached in a while.

LAURA: Okay, I think we're safe.

MATT: You're looking for writing? You don't see any writing.

MARISHA: No type of directional marks? Any type of, using my background, any types of Thieves' Cant for smuggling?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Fuck you Gil, you haven't been good to me today.

MATT: Good to you in the past, but not tonight apparently.

MARISHA: You said perception?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: 20 total.

MATT: Looking around you don't see any markings in the stonework, but as you go across the pillar in the center, looking for any sort of details, you hear this faint-- almost like the sound of a crashing wave and the rushing of water, and you glance around the edge, and in the corner you can see the water that previously was just moving from your breaking the surface moving through, has started to-- (fwoosh) almost like it's forming a small, occasional whirlpool, and then comes to rest for a moment and then--

MARISHA: Hey Fjord?


MARISHA: Is it about time for high tide?

TRAVIS: Is it?


TRAVIS: No, that would have passed by now because it's past midday, right?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: While they're discussing, I point at Frumpkin on Yasha's back and snap him out and then submerge myself by that small grate and look and keep my hand above the water, and snap again and Frumpkin is past the gate on the other side of it.

MATT: Okay. Frumpkin-- the tunnel?

LIAM: The small grate that we couldn't get open, so he's on the other side.

MATT: Okay, Frumpkin has appeared on the other side. While this is happening, you watch as the small whirlpool begins to gather up and rise above the surface in what is a roughly basketball-sized swirl of water. Like an inverse whirlpool.

MARISHA: I really feel like this is like something and it might attack us, and it might kill us. I don't know, maybe--

MATT: A second one begins to emerge from the water behind you.

MARISHA: Mighty Nein!

SAM: What is going on?

MARISHA: Mighty Nein!

TRAVIS: Is it spheres?

MATT: They're essentially looking at reverse whirlpools that are rising up out of the water, coming to a point as the water seems to be almost guiding itself.

TRAVIS: Oh jesus, wide at the bottom, thin at the top.

MARISHA: I'm going to take my two shurikens and (throwing noises) into one and see what happens.

MATT: Okay. Roll for attack.

MARISHA: From Kentucky, it's sure-ooh-ken.

MATT: Roll for an attack.

MARISHA: For two? Both of them?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: That first one is an 18, so 25. And the second one is 15.

MATT: Both of them hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: Yeah, I think this is a thing. Like a thing to kill.

MATT: Before she even says that, roll some damage. Because this is all happening very quickly.

MARISHA: Nine-- sorry. 12. 13 total, 13.

MATT: Quick, let me check one thing real fast.

SAM: They are impervious to throwing star damage.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: No, okay. So, good to know. So it was nine and--

MARISHA: 13 total.

MATT: Okay, got you. You watch as both enter the water, and it seems to react, pull back and a spray of water hits the wall behind it. You watch as it quivers and then suddenly you see these two large pseudopods of water somehow emerge from it, and you see for a moment this angry face (snarling) in the water towards you as both of them begin to rush in towards you in the center of the chamber.

MARISHA: Angry water! Mad water!

MATT: We're going to go ahead and take a break there.


MATT: And we're going to start with rolling initiative when we return.

ALL: Yay!

MATT: So for our giveaway at the break, to remind you guys, we've had to make some changes. So you need to enter in the Critical Role Twitch chat, so if you need to jump over to to join the chat there to be part of this giveaway. It's only good for residents of the U.S. and Canada, excluding Quebec because of weird giveaway laws. But however, you do get the possibility of winning this fantastic purple heart dice tower system! Including the Osmet Coast cartography by Devon Rue.

SAM: This is so cool!

MATT: This is the one you had last campaign right?

SAM: Yeah, but not with a map on it. That's amazing!

MATT: Fantastic Devon Rue's the artist. But yeah, so the word tonight is ruby. R U B Y.

CAST: Ruby!

MATT: Only enter it once or you will be disqualified, but go ahead and jump over.

LIAM: Best lay ever!

MATT: We'll have a winner announced when we return here in a few minutes. So, see you guys here in a few minutes.



Part II[]

MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome back. So, we have our winner during the break. The winner of our fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway is Darksearchman. Congratulations, dark man who searches, the searcher who lives in the dark, Darksearchman. You are the winner. We'll get that back to you as soon as we have the opportunity. So we'll get your info and congratulations.

SAM: I'm Mr. Darksearchman.


MATT: All right friends. So, last we left off. I need you all to roll initiative.

MARISHA: That's right! I almost forgot.

SAM: You already rolled.

LAURA: No, it doesn't count because I'm up two now.

SAM: That's even better.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

CAST: Ooh!

MARISHA: On a initiative roll.

MATT: All right, so 25 to 20..


MATT: All right, so it's Beau. Anyone else 25 to 20. 20 to 15?

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18.


SAM: No, no. You got 19.

LAURA: I did?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I got 19! Thank you.

MATT: There you go.


MATT: 16. All right, 15 to ten?


SAM: Ten.

LIAM: 13.

SAM: Oh, Ashley's back.

ASHLEY: Hey guys.


TALIESIN: So, you rolled low initiative.

MATT: Nott, What did you get?

SAM: Ten.

MATT: And then taking up the rear.


MATT: There we go.

TRAVIS: Jesus!

LIAM: What did you get Ash?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I even have a plus to my initiative this time around.

TALIESIN: You rolled a seven.

ASHLEY: I still rolled low. I rolled a seven.

MATT: That's all right. So, first round of battle. Up first, you watch as these two emerging whirlpools begin to form into these amorphous angry spinning and intense-looking tiny water spouts with bashing pseudopods that swing out and attempt to make some sort of heavy impact with anybody who's nearby. They seem strangely sentient, as opposed to being some sort of manifested trap. However, with that first initial attack from Beau, that's the first surprise round, we'll be going into combat. At the top of it, it is Beau once again. So what are you doing?

MARISHA: Guys! Anybody? Still me. (pop pop pop)


MARISHA: Two attacks, one with my staff.

MATT: Are you running up to attack?


MATT: All right.

MARISHA: That's a natural one on that first attack. Well that sucks.

MATT: All right, so you go ahead and swing and--

MATT: With your staff, and as you give a big old push, you watch as it just dissolves and falls below and you're just swinging into the air. It hits the stonework and (gong). You feel part of your elbow lock up for a second and it feels a little numb.

MARISHA: Second attack. Still not great, 15.

MATT: 15 hits.

MARISHA: Oh wait, but that hit before, right? Okay, seven damage.

MATT: All right, this is with your--?

MARISHA: My second attack.

MATT: With your staff as well?

MARISHA: Still with my staff.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Two attacks with my-- right. Attack, attack.

MATT: You notice the first impacts of the shurikens that you had thrown seem to pass through the water with some impact, but not heavily. And the second staff hit that strikes seems to not be as impactful against the wood. Or maybe against the water form of this creature.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to use my offhand, I'm going to drop my-- I'm not going to drop my staff. I'm going to put my staff around, focus my chi, and then do a palm attack .

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Fuck. Nine.

MATT: Nine misses. So with your bonus action, just swings wide. These things are small but nimble, and they keep-- their form seems to constantly be shifting and changing position. It's like fighting a miniature squall in the middle of it. So you're like "Ah!" No impact.


MATT: That ends your turn?


MATT: All righty, next up Jester. You're up.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to cast... Spiritual Weapon! Woo!

SAM: Matt, is it pitch dark in here?

MATT: It is.

LAURA: It's pitch dark?

MATT: There is no light source in here.

TRAVIS: Release the Spiritual Weapon!

MARISHA: I have my goggles.

MATT: So, Caleb starts hearing all these noises in his--

LIAM: No, I have the Transmuter's Stone set to dark vision.

MATT: Oh, that's right! Because you do have dark vision. So yeah, right now guys--

LAURA: So, all of us can see?

MATT: Where do you want it to go?

LIAM: Caduceus, you can see?

TALIESIN: I believe so.

MATT: Actually, no. Firbolgs can't. So, Caduceus is the only one in pitch black.

TALIESIN: I'm currently in... hold on, yeah.

LAURA: Right above, next to Beau.

MATT: All right. here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You got it.

LAURA: And I'm going to hit it! Or I'm going to try.

MATT: Technically, you'd have to move to have line of sight on where it was dropped, so you'd have to shift.

LAURA: Okay, I'll shift to my left. (singing) To my left, to my-- yeah.

MATT: There you go. So, moving up next to Yasha, you watch as the spiritual weapon flash happens.

LAURA: 14?

MATT: 14 hits.


LAURA: 11 points of damage!

MATT: Nice. While the impacts of Beau's strikes with the staff and the shurikens weren't doing a whole lot it seemed, damaging but not anything as hardy as you were hoping, the spiritual weapon comes down and seems to cleave it in half. As it separates and reforms itself, you hear this splashing and swishing of water, it sounds almost like a lowered, angry growl.

LAURA: And then I'm going to Toll the Dead on him!

MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll. Oh, that's its roll. It's a--

LAURA: A wisdom save.

MATT: Wisdom save. That is a natural four, so go for it. Damage?

LAURA: (yelling) 2d12! 11 points of damage!

MATT: Good round.

LAURA: It vibrates through the water.

MATT: You watch as the impact of the cantrip strikes it, and the water seems to shake itself around for a moment, shifting as the sound vibrations are forcing it to coast in a strange design in its space. That ends your turn?

LAURA: Suck a bag of dicks, water creature!


LAURA: And that's my turn.

MATT: All right. That brings us to Fjord.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll move up to this northeastern corner up here. Turning and seeing the--

MATT: As you're pushing through, you're seeing certain things that are sunken in the water in the corners. Looks like bits of materials that have either washed in through the water, broken crates and bits of wood, things that gather in the edges. You push past them with your feet as you make it there.

TRAVIS: Okay. I'll throw two Eldritch Blasts to this creature behind Caduceus.

MATT: The one that appeared behind the rest? Go for it.

TRAVIS: Two attacks. First one is 13.

MATT: 13? Just hits.

TRAVIS: Just hits. I'll roll the second one, well fuck. That's 12.

MATT: 12 misses. So, roll damage on the first strike.

TRAVIS: Gotcha. Fuck you. Five points of damage.

MATT: Five points of damage. The Eldritch Blast hits it, and you watch as it creates this circle in the center of its elemental form as it impacts and actually strikes the stone behind with whatever residual energy from the original impact. The hole forms up. It took damage. It didn't seem to be as resistant as it had to previous blows. Magic seems to cut through whatever defense it has.

TRAVIS: That is my turn.

MATT: That ends Fjord's. It's now their turn.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: This one, who currently is engaged directly with you, is going to wisp around into the water and emerge on the other side of Beau and is going to go ahead and attempt to Whirlpool Strike you. I need you to make a strength saving throw, please.

MARISHA: That's a natural one.

MATT: As it emerges, you feel the water beneath you begin to whip into a torrent, and you are swept off of your feet and knocked prone and are considered currently restrained as it moves into your space. It's now currently swirling around you, and you're having a hard time moving. It's now forcing water into your mouth. You can't breathe in the moment. You are whelmed by the elemental.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: So that end its turn. The one over here is going to go ahead, because it's closest to Caduceus, it's just going to shift up into your space, get in contact with both you and Caleb, and it's going to attempt to whelm you, as well. I need you to go ahead-- it can only target one person-- but I need you to make a strength saving throw for me, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: All right. That's a 17.

MATT: 17? That's a success! You feel the same water swirling around your legs, and you manage to pull back and wrench your legs free as the torrent comes to a slow crawl once more, and the creature's form emerges. You can see the water now forming these two large sledgehammer-like fists that hang at its somewhat four, four-and-a-half-foot tall torso. That's going to end both of their turns. Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: How well can I see right now?

MATT: Not very well.

MATT: Pretty much not at all. It is pitch black. You are considered blind.

LAURA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm considered blind. That's fine. There's nothing much I can do about that right now. I'm going to-- hold a Sacred Flame until I can actually see what I'm attempting to attack. Like, until I can see well enough to--

MATT: As soon as you can see an enemy, you will release your Sacred Flame.

TALIESIN: Yes, Sacred Flame. In the meantime, I'll just stay to myself and maybe try and walk around to, yeah, just like there.

MATT: Okay, so you can hear it and the focus of this swirling, splashing sound.

TALIESIN: I could use a little light!

MATT: All right, so Caduceus side-steps. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Yeah okay, so I was looking down towards this grate under the water, and I heard the room go to hell behind me and hear the splashing where Beauregard is, so I move in that direction.

MATT: All right, so you move this way?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, it's going to go ahead and take a swipe at you with a slam attack. That is a 22 to hit.

LIAM: I take it, yeah.

MATT: You suffer-- oh wow. That is 12 points of bludgeoning damage. You get slammed in the lower back, the hip area, and almost spin from the blow of it, but continue to stumble forward over to the position you wanted to be.

LIAM: So, I stumble forward, and I'm reaching into my pockets, and I pull out the iron powder, and I throw it into the air again, and I go (whoof) with my hands, and Beauregard enlarges within the grasp of this... thing.

MATT: All right. Still restrained.

LIAM: Yeah, but with advantage on strength checks now.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: And I will go as far into that corner, hiding between Fjord and the corner, if I'm able to.

MATT: All right. So, that is about as far as you can get right there because Fjord is currently in the far corner. And I'm marking you with concentration just so I can keep tabs on that. All right, so that ends Caleb's go. Nott, you're up.

SAM: I see the damage done to my lovely friends, and seeing as I care about Caleb slightly more, I will attack the one that hit-- no offense-- I will attack the one that hit Caleb with a shot of a Tinkertop Blaster, whatever it's called.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: All right, so that's 20-something to hit.

MATT: That hits.

SAM: He's engaged with firbolg over here, right?

MATT: Mhmm.

SAM: That's four, four, four, so plus *yikes* five is--

LAURA: 17.

SAM: Thank you. (laughing) That.

MATT: All right, 17 points of damage on him, nice. Because it is magical, it bypasses the defenses. You watch as the bolt hits and there's a spark as it impacts, and for a second, it seems to almost lose its corporeal form then flickers back in. The bolt sinks down into the water below, beneath the knee-level of the liquid that seems to consume the entire chamber.

MARISHA: He took an arrow to the knee. Sorry.


MATT: Which as a note guys, those who have been moving around, I should mention it. I've been keeping tabs under my own right. Moving through this is considered difficult terrain because you are about knee- to thigh-high in water, and you're having to basically wade through as you go.

LAURA: Except for Nott.

MATT: Except for Nott, who's standing above it.

LIAM: What about Fjord? His swim speed is his movement speed.

MATT: Technically, the Mariner's Armor would give you a swim speed. So you can move through it at your regular speed. So you don't have to worry about it. That is correct.

SAM: I will use my bonus action to... Well, I'll use my movement to sort of tuck back into the hallway there.

MATT: Here?

SAM: Yeah, if I can, and then I'll bonus action to hide. Press myself up against a wall or something.

MATT: You'll probably have to move a little farther back to break sight from one of these enemies, but go ahead.

SAM: That's fine. All right. Not great. 18.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Wait is this... stealth? 18.

MATT: Okay, good to know.

SAM: I was looking for the hide ability.

MATT: Gotcha. Yeah, that's just an action.

SAM: Have I been drunk at this point? I don't know, am I?

MATT: You're not quite-- No, you would've had to have been to go through, if you weren't affected by a Suggestion spell.

SAM: Okay, so I'm okay.

MATT: You're on the verge. Like, you're tipsy.

SAM: Okay, good.

MATT: But you're not *drunk.* All right, that finishes your go?

SAM: Yes!

MATT: Yasha, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay, so--

SAM: I told you water was terrible!

MATT: You've seen Beau suddenly grown to a larger size but still being swarmed by the water of this elemental form.

ASHLEY: Well for one, I would like to rage.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: Is it possible to try to pull her out, or am I able to--

MATT: You can try.

ASHLEY: Am I able to attack it... without hurting her?


MATT: You can certainly try.

ASHLEY: I don't want to try it.

MARISHA: Just go for it! (gurgling sounds)

MATT: So, you move up adjacent to Beau and the one creature, and what are you going to do? Are you going to attempt and pull her out?

ASHLEY: I'm going to attempt and pull her out.

MATT: Okay, so you use your action. I need you to go ahead and make a strength check. You have advantage because you are raging.

TRAVIS: (as Beau) I feel alive!

MARISHA: I haven't felt anything since she left!

ASHLEY: Oh, no. Eight.

MATT: Eight. You go and grab and try to pull her, but, unfortunately, the water and sediment in here has given a slick surface to the floor. As you pull, your feet keep skidding across the floor. You can't get any sort of purchase, and you can't pull her out, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Is that a strength check?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I should've attacked.

TRAVIS: Did you make it with advantage? You're raging.

MATT: Yeah, you rolled... Was that not with advantage? Roll again!

TRAVIS: I got you, boo.

ASHLEY: Shit. That's cocked.

SAM: Matt, I've been rolling the wrong number of die every time.


MATT: Okay, hold on. You've been rolling the wrong number of dice?

SAM: I've been rolling 3d6, but it should've been four.

MATT: Oh, well.

SAM: So, I got an extra one point of damage.

MATT: Good to know.


MATT: Keep that in mind for the future. So, 17 will be enough. So, as your feet are slipping on the ground, you go ahead and take your sword and jam it into the stone on the side and use that. With your other hand, you get it underneath Beau's larger arm and wrench her free from the creature's grasp.

MARISHA: (deep voice) Thanks!

ASHLEY: (deep voice) Welcome!

MATT: So Beau, you are still in this space, a little bit--

ASHLEY: (deep voice) Wow!

TRAVIS: (deep voice) Hey, shorty.

MARISHA: (deep voice) Hey!

MATT: You're still in the space of the creature, but you've managed to be pulled free from it. So, you're still prone, but you are not currently whelmed by it.


MATT: All right, that ends Yasha's go, unless you want to move?

ASHLEY: No, I'm going to stay.

MATT: You pull your sword out of the wall and get ready for the next round of combat. This brings us to the top of the round. Beau, you're up! Jester, you're next.

MARISHA: (deep voice) I'm back! Can I do like a cool, monk-like kick and go pop pop! Like two unarmed attacks as I kick-kick with my legs?

MATT: Yeah, yeah! Make--

MARISHA: Some capoeira shit?

MATT: Yeah, you can. Which, as you do, it's a spray and spin windmill of water in the air around it. Go ahead and make your attacks.

MARISHA: First two unarmed. That first one is an 18, being a 25. Second one's an eight, being a 15.

MATT: Both hit.

SAM: Ooh, Tracy!

MARISHA: (Valley girl voice) Oh my god, Tracy's back!

LIAM: Added damage.

MARISHA: My dad sent me to a fancy prep school. Oh, that's a suck balls roll. Two ones on my sixes. So two, but I got a four and a three from that extra d4, so nine. Nein!

MATT: Nine points of damage to it from the spinning kick landing on the ground. You are now just barely mid-calf in water, but it's also about ten feet tall in here, so you're having to hunch a little bit. Your head actually hits the ceiling a bit. You're like (groaning).

MARISHA: I'm now going to spend a ki point because I hit twice to do Extract Aspects.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I want to learn--

MATT: I don't think you can spend a ki point to do that. It's just an ability you get to use.

MARISHA: That's right, we switched that. Oh! It's just an ability I get to use now.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Right. So, I hit twice. I would like to know its constitution saving throw and if it has any damage... not resistances, but the opposite of that.

MATT: Immunities?

MARISHA: Vulnerabilities.

MATT: Vulnerabilities, okay. Its constitution saving throw is a plus three. It's not technically a vulnerability, but you do see that if it takes cold damage, it partially freezes, which reduces its speed.


SAM: We know things.

MARISHA: I just shout it out and say, I think if we freeze the thing, it'll like freeze because water! And then I'm going to spend another ki point and do Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Okay, two more strikes. Go for it.

MARISHA: Pop pop with my fists! First attack is a 22, sorry 23. No, 22, I was right the first time. The second one is not good, it's a nine.

MATT: Okay, so the first one does hit, second one misses.

MARISHA: That is-- ooh! Ten damage.

MATT: Ten damage. Very good. So with that, as you're standing there, you go ahead and swing one fist down and it strikes right at the center of it, and you watch as it separates for a second. As it reforms, you go for another strike, and this time it manages to duck just out of the way, seeing the precursor of that strike, and it dodges entirely. That finishes your turn?


MATT: All right. That brings us to Jester.

LAURA: Bring my spiritual weapon down!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: That's 16.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: That sucks. This plus four is five!

SAM: Amazing.

LAURA: And then I'm going to use Guiding Bolt at the other one.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: And I'm assuming-- tell me if I'm wrong-- because it's a flash of light that streaks towards the creature, that would give enough light for Caduceus to send something out?

MATT: I'll allow it.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LAURA: All right. Okay, so how do I do Guiding Bolt?

MATT: So you roll an attack roll, so a spell attack roll, ranged spell attack roll. That's cocked, yeah.

LAURA: 11 plus seven. 18.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage for your Guiding Bolt.

LAURA: That is 4d6!

SAM: Yeah!

LAURA: 15.

MATT: 15 points of radiant damage to it. In the middle of this darkness there's this flash of light and this streaking beam of radiant energy that strikes and blasts into the elemental. Caduceus, in that one moment, your eyes suddenly focus in on the glowing form, almost in slow motion as this elemental is slowly bursting from the radiant energy, and you see that moment.

TALIESIN: Sacred flame.

MATT: All right, so that's a wisdom saving throw?

TALIESIN: Dex saving throw. 16.

MATT: Dex saving throw. That is a 14, it fails. All right, it'll take the damage on that one.

TALIESIN: (counting) 12 points of I believe-- is that radiant damage? Yeah. 12 points of radiant damage.

MATT: They're both looking a little hurt and a little aggressive. They're now starting to get a little frenzied. That ends your turn, Jester?

LAURA: Yes. Advantage on attacks against that one.

MATT: Actually-- yes, because that wasn't an attack roll. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: Can I approach the water fuck that's on Mr. Clay? And I will use Booming Blade against it.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Advantage!

TRAVIS: Advantage?

MATT: Yeah, she used Guiding Bolt.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

LIAM: She lit it up.

TRAVIS: It's cocked. Natural 20.


MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: So at 5th level it deals 2d8 thunder damage to the target.

MATT: Correct. So 2d8--


MATT: Four. So eight, plus whatever the modifier is. Or it's just 2d8, right? Booming Blade is still an attack.

TRAVIS: Yeah that's it, that's just 2d8. So eight points of damage.

MATT: Eight points of damage. (impact noise) It is currently encircled by the booming energy.

TRAVIS: Booming energy, yes.

LAURA: What the heck is that?

LIAM: (effeminate voice) What's that, Travis, what's that?

LAURA: Tell us what it means.

SAM: Booming dick energy!



MATT: All righty. That ends your turn, Fjord?


MATT: All righty. It's now their turn. So this one here, now low on health and a bit frenzied, is going to go ahead and take two strikes at the enlarged Beauregard that has been its issue at this time. That's going to be a 21 to hit and a 22 to hit. 15 and 16 naturally.


SAM: H2 oh, no!


MATT: Oh my god, Sam.

TRAVIS: Nasty!

LIAM: Would you numb your own tongue with that one?

MATT: It's 18 points of bludgeoning damage to you, Beauregard. For its being so small, the short bursts of impact, it seems that in its harrowed state it's lashing out with all that it can. The other one is going to go ahead and attempt to make a strike at Fjord and a strike at Caduceus. The one against Fjord is a natural one. It goes to swing out towards you and you hold the blade up and you watch as it actually splits its extruding watery arm across the blade. It divides, then splashes into--

TRAVIS: Water on water violence.

MATT: Yeah. Falls harmlessly onto the ground and it has to reform a new pseudopod. The other arm swings back towards Caduceus.

LAURA: Science!

MATT: That's going to be a 13 to hit.

TALIESIN: That does not hit.

MATT: You pull up your shield and deflect it off to the side. No major issue there. That finishes their go-- actually no. This guy's going to go ahead and move, this one's going to go ahead and shift over towards-- Jester is becoming a problem. Caduceus, you do have an attack of opportunity if you want to take one.

TALIESIN: Sure. Is it disadvantage because I can't see?

MATT: Correct, yes.

TRAVIS: And booming energy. So when he moves he takes an additional 2d8.

MATT: Correct.


TRAVIS: Nine points of booming damage. (impact noise)

MARISHA: Nein! It's like that glass of water in Jurassic Park.

TALIESIN: That's the same roll. That's 12.

MATT: No worry there, then. That does not hit. That brings us to Caduceus's turn, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm still blind?

MATT: You're still blind.

TALIESIN: At some point I'm going to have to-- I've never fixed the fact that I'm a cantrip down, which I will have to fix at some point because this is--

MATT: You should.

TALIESIN: I think I had this at one point, and yeah it did not have that. I'm going to just ready another-- actually I'm free now. I'm going to try and back into the corner near that treasure chest. I'm just going to ready another--

LAURA: There's a treasure chest?!

MATT: It's a barrel.

TALIESIN: Barrel. It's filled with treasure.


MATT: You played Diablo, you know how this works. Ting!

TALIESIN: It's one gold coin. I'm just going to ready another Guiding Bolt for the second I can see anything.

MATT: You got it. Finishing Caduceus's turn, Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to move into that corner and I'm going to rifle into my pockets and pull out a small snake's gut peppered in powdered rhubarb leaf, and I stick my hand out and point at the one messing with my human friend over there, and I take the snake's gut and I pull it back like I am drawing a bowstring as I mutter and I let go and cast Melf's Acid Arrow.

MATT: All righty.


MARISHA: You're you in the opening title sequence right now!

LIAM: *Ja,* that is correct.

MARISHA: You're doing--

TRAVIS: You're doing it!

MARISHA: You're doing it! It's so real.

TRAVIS: How do you spell the first word of that spell?

LIAM: Melf. M-E-L-F.


TRAVIS: Unfortunately.

MATT: He's a very prominent sorcerer, or wizard.

LIAM: You love it. That is a 23 to hit.

MATT: 23 does hit.

LIAM: Yeah. (counting) Nine points of acid damage.

MATT: Nine points of acid damage to it. As the acid arrow strikes and impacts on its form, there's this splash of acidic liquid that actually should-- I believe Beau also has to make?

LIAM: It doesn't say anything, at least, in the D&D Beyond. Let's look in the actual book.

SAM: D&D Beyond is the greatest.

LIAM: Doesn't say anything about splash attack.

MATT: Yeah, it does take lesser damage from the acid, but it didn't have a lot of hit points left. So the impact is lessened. However, let me check here for the acid arrow.

SAM: Science. Math. Acid.

LAURA: Acid!

LIAM: Don't do me wrong, D&D Beyond.

TALIESIN: The water elemental is going to sit there and have a long thought about its relationships.

MATT: No sorry, that's older systems. Yeah, no. That doesn't matter. Older systems would do splash acid damage, but not in this one. So yeah, you manage to pull out of the way as it falls back and dissolves amongst the rest of it, a little bit of sea foam left behind in its wake.

TRAVIS: Hard water.

TALIESIN: Sea foam, that's all you are.

MARISHA: Oh, the one next to me. Thanks!

LIAM: I'm going to tuck my snake gut back into its pocket.

MATT: All right. Finishing Caleb's turn, Nott, you're up.

SAM: I will fire my arrow thing at the creature, striking it with 20 something! 20 things. Is it engaged in something?

MATT: It is engaged with Jester, yes.

LAURA: It's engaged to me.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Roll your extra thing.

SAM: I did. It's still terrible.

LIAM: It's six, though.

LAURA: It's not terrible.

SAM: 17 again.

MATT: 17? As that one impacts, you see it reaching out with both of its fists towards Jester. As it strikes her, its midsection just turns into bits of foam and sea water as it splashes against her armor and shield.

SAM: I hate water!

LAURA: Fjord, I am your dream!

TRAVIS: Yeah. See? No big deal.

SAM: (panting heavily) Big deal!

TRAVIS: Water's your friend.

SAM: Water is terrible. It tried to kill us! It actively wants to kill us!

TRAVIS: Are there any drains on the floor as we walk around?

MATT: As you glance around, keeping an eye out, make an investigation check.


MATT: Feeling through the floor and finding your space in here, you do not find any grates or any other exits beyond the tunnel ahead of you, the tunnel you came from, and the small grate on the side. But it's high enough where the water doesn't actually meet that level yet. But you do see the trailing signs of runoff and various bits of minerals that have gathered and dripped out over time to cause some discoloration to the stone.

TRAVIS: Caleb, didn't you want to explore that smaller tunnel?

LIAM: (breathing heavily) *Ja.*

SAM: Are you okay? Do you need healing? Because Caduceus can heal you.

LAURA: He's really good at it.

TALIESIN: I really actually have a-- it'd be easier if I could see where I am or--

SAM: Oh, sorry!

LIAM: I cast Dancing Lights and the four globules start floating around in the air.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's much better.

LIAM: *Ja.* Okay, Frumpkin. Would you like to-- are you still there? And he's still on the other side. I'm going to have a quick look. Somebody--

SAM: Here you are.

LIAM: And I send Frumpkin further in.

MATT: Okay. As Frumpkin pulls his way through the tunnel, slowly the tentacles unfurling and dragging him forward through this slick, somewhat slimy algae grooved tube. It goes on for about a good 150 feet before it meets another grate.

LIAM: At this point I can't send in-- I can only watch, but I did tell him to go. So what would you-- well it's up to you what Frumpkin would interpret that as.

MATT: All right, so you can't watch at this distance?

LIAM: Well I think what we've established--

MATT: Oh, you can view, but you cannot give actions.

LIAM: I can view, but I can't give commands. But I said to go in, so it's up to you what--

MATT: So Frumpkin comes to this next grate. Go ahead and make a strength check for Frumpkin.

LIAM: That is-- oh, for Frumpkin. So I need to go to a different tag. That's a three.

MATT: It's a three. Frumpkin is unable to push past that secondary grate and fighting with it for a bit, returns to you within range to communicate and tells you there's no further to that tunnel.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: You never know.

LIAM: Who knows. Maybe Fjord could swim down there if we could get this gate open, but.

TRAVIS: It's a real small tunnel. I'm not looking to Shawshank my way down that thing.

LIAM: Yeah, but you are a bean pole.

TRAVIS: I am not. I am actually quite stocky, thank you very much.

LIAM: Stocky?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I am ripped to fuck.

LIAM: How many stones do you weigh?

TRAVIS: So many.

MARISHA: What size are the stones? Just curious.

LIAM: They're a pound each. What are you talking about? I'm talking about--

LAURA: What?

TRAVIS: Perhaps we should continue.

TALIESIN: I just tap the stone. Ten hit points.

MARISHA: Wait. Is he ten stones?

TRAVIS: Where does this tunnel go?

LAURA: Where does that next tunnel go?

ASHLEY: The other one?

MATT: The one that had to be there? Go ahead and make a perception check.

LAURA: Splash, splash, splash.

TRAVIS: Yasha, you do it.

ASHLEY: Okay. I got a five.

MATT: It's a lot of water ahead. And some walls.

ASHLEY: It's just a lot of water and I think just more stone walls.

TRAVIS: Nothing treacherous?

MARISHA: That's very astute.

ASHLEY: I don't think it's bad.

TALIESIN: Is there an intense discoloration, maybe, of the mold underneath the grate? Is it a different kind of--

MATT: Oh, on the smaller one, you mean?


MATT: Make a nature check.

LAURA: I'm going to kick through the barrel while he's doing that. Did I find a gold?

MATT: It breaks fairly easy. The wood is very soaked and warped. And as your foot breaks through it, it's now up to the knee inside of the barrel. Doesn't shatter, you're now stuck with your leg partially in a barrel.

TALIESIN: You're so good.

ASHLEY: And you guys already checked the pillar for any--

TRAVIS: We looked around for writing and stuff, but.

ASHLEY: Can I give the pillar a look-see?

MATT: Make an investigation check. You eventually pull your foot out of the barrel and look inside. In it, the smell in there is of deep briny ocean and possibly something that long rotted and has since given this faint scent of earth and decay.

SAM: Caduceus, you might want that.

TRAVIS: No. God, no.


MATT: You feel your way around the exterior of the column. Glancing around, you don't see any particular signs of there being anything different, beyond the construction of the rest of the chamber. Nothing hidden, no language or discerning characteristics.

ASHLEY: Nothing strange.

LAURA: Let's keep booking.

LIAM: Remind me, it just keeps going forward? Oh no, Frumpkin, no!

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: In the same way there's another large grate at the end of the passage?

MATT: There's no grate, it's just another continuation of the tunnel. The same size of the one that you entered this chamber from.

LIAM: So a tunnel going forward.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We keep going.

MARISHA: And we're heading inward, right?



MATT: All right. So what's the marching order?

MARISHA: Am I still big? How much longer am I big Beau?

LIAM: You're done.


TRAVIS: I'll take the front, with my darkvision.

ASHLEY: I'll go behind Fjord.

MATT: We have Fjord in front, we have Yasha behind that.

LIAM: I will go in the back, but I will send Frumpkin 80 or 90 feet in front of all of us and conga line behind whoever is second to last.

MATT: All right, Frumpkin goes on ahead.

MARISHA: Are you still blind without your cantrip?

LIAM: With Frumpkin looking. When I'm looking through Frumpkin I'm blind, yeah.

MATT: Caduceus, and Jester.

SAM: Nott's in the back.

MATT: Nott's in the back with Caleb, all righty.

MARISHA: I'll be in front of Caleb and be his train.

LIAM: Where's little Beau? Little Beau is missing!

MATT: That's right. Little Beau is right there.

ASHLEY: Bitty Beau.

SAM: Little Beau.

MARISHA: Bee bo!

MATT: So Caleb's in the very back.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Who's next, Nott, or?

LIAM: I think Beau is offering to not let me fall, faceplant.

SAM: I'm right next to him.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And Nugget's going to run up and try to bite and play with Frumpkin.

MATT: Okay. So as you're making your way through the water, this puppy is trying to dog paddle from the foot and a half of water “(whimpering).”

LAURA: Oh shit, it's a foot and a half. Nugget, come back here. Blink to me, darling, blink to me!

MATT: Roll an animal handling check.

LIAM: Also, you have to train your animal to harass mine.

LAURA: Ooh! That is a 23!

MATT: You're starting to get this connection between you.

LAURA: Blink to me, Nugget!

MATT: Blinks into your arm and you grasp it, now soaked in water. It begins licking up your chin and getting excited.

SAM: You got your weasel on your back?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: The two waterlogged pets right now are flanking her throat. What could possibly go wrong?

LIAM: You doubled down from the last campaign, didn't you?

MATT: You didn't have to buy it.

TRAVIS: I know we didn't!

SAM: Jester, you're starting to smell like Caleb.

LAURA: (gasps)

SAM: Wet dog and wet weasel. All over your neck.

LAURA: I'll take a really good bath when we get back.

TRAVIS: We move on.

SAM: Your knee smells bad.

LAURA: Oh no!

TRAVIS: Yeah, you stank.


MATT: Moving forward.

LIAM: Caleb is laughing quietly in the dark.

MATT: Make a perception check for Frumpkin.

LIAM: *Ja,* okay.

MATT: In the octopus form.

LIAM: Ooh, that's good. 18.

MATT: Moving on ahead for about another 80 to 100 feet down this long tunnel, it opens up into another chamber that's larger than the one you were previously in. It seems to curve open slightly for about ten or so feet, and then opens even wider. It's a large cube-shaped chamber, the same water level, resting at about a foot, foot and a half up.

LIAM: I would whisper that into Beauregard's ears, not being able to hear her, and tell her to hold the group up for a moment.


LIAM: I describe the room. I don't know what's in there yet, but something's changing.

MARISHA: Big square room, gets bigger, it's changing.

MATT: You see three grates that are similar in size to the ones that blocked your entryway. There's one on the right, one on the left, and then one on the far end across from you where the chamber seems to end. However, there are two platforms that are raised up about ten feet above, with a very small railing and two pathways that vanish further in. There's a raised two watch points that protrude out and look over the smaller part of the chamber.

LIAM: Three water passages and then two hallways that are dry?

MARISHA: Like balconies?

MATT: Like balconies that protrude from the far wall to overlook the interior of this chamber.

MARISHA: Do the balconies go all the way across? Sorry, I'm not asking Caleb or anything.

MATT: They push out about ten feet from the wall before they come to an end. So they're more of a--

TRAVIS: More balcony terraces?

MATT: Yeah, they're not beautifully designed, per se. They're made of the same stonework, but they look to be positions to supervise the interior of the chamber.

LIAM: DM, you're describing those platforms, but then there are passageways further leading in.

MATT: Correct. There is a very faint, dull, teal-green glow underneath the water in the far center of the chamber.

LIAM: I mutter that to Beauregard.

MATT: There is also a faint mist that drifts over the surface of the chamber in here.

LIAM: This room looks fucked up. We should not rush into it.

MARISHA: Do you see any movement? I ask Caleb.

SAM: The water can fly now.

LIAM: It's eerie, but do I see any living creatures or threats?

MATT: Currently no movement, no creatures.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: It's everywhere!

LIAM: My cat doesn't see anything, but I don't trust that there's-- are you listening to me?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Tap me on the shoulder if you're listening to me. Okay. Ow. God. We don't see anything, but I have a bad feeling.

MARISHA: He has a bad feeling. Like something in your lower parts of your intestines?

LIAM: Frumpkin, come back. The room ahead is not good.

LAURA: Like monsters, more of those water things?

LIAM: No. There's something of a magical nature up there.

TRAVIS: How deep did the water look?

LIAM: Frumpkin would have seen that, as would I.

MATT: It's similar, about a foot and a half or so.

MARISHA: What makes you think it's magical?

LIAM: It's glowing.

LAURA: Maybe we could get up to those little terraces or something and avoid it. Can anybody walk on walls?

SAM: I can walk on water.

TRAVIS: I could get up there.

MARISHA: I'm pretty good at actually climbing.

LIAM: Well, yeah, but you're assuming that nothing's going to happen when you get into the room or close to the room.

LAURA: What if we don't touch the water? What if all of us hang on the side of the walls and move around the room?

LIAM: I am hearing a lot of what ifs.

TRAVIS: Can we move to the mouth of the room? So still within the tunnel, not going into the full space yet, but able to see in and up.

MATT: Yeah. Moving up to the very edge of it, you can see the interior of this chamber and the display that Caleb had described. Caduceus, as you guys are stepping up, you hear this faint echoing sound emerging from the upper left hallway. You see a very faint bit of light coming, and you hear talking.

MARISHA: This is through Frumpkin?

MATT: No, this is Caduceus.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace. Do I have that? I do. Yeah, I cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us.

LIAM: I'm casting Mage Armor.

LAURA: We're going to stealth, right? Because I just cast it on all of us.

MATT: Roll some stealth checks.

TRAVIS: Plus ten?

LAURA: Yeah, and I give Caduceus the Blessing of the Trickster.

MATT: All right, everyone make stealth checks, please.

LAURA: You get advantage.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank you.

LAURA: Add ten.



LAURA: 19.


LIAM: 14.

SAM: 38.


TALIESIN: You're in another game.

MATT: You all quietly get low into the water and off to the sides to the entrance to best stay out of range of the light source. You guys feel pretty confident that you are, for the most part, out of range of anyone who isn't fairly perceptive. You can see the faint dull glow from the center far end of the chamber. Now that you're closer and can see, there are two similar pillars in the center of the room. The last room you were in, they were just load-bearing center bits. There are some small elements of almost walkways or little bits of stone that emerge from the far wall, and the corners that either rubble has built up or it's been intentionally built as some sort of platform there. That's off the water.

MARISHA: Why would they have patrol in a sewer system?

MATT: At this point, you see the light emerge from that side and you hear the voice say, "The complaints are driving me up the wall. Xundi is going to get an earful if he's slacking on those engines."


MATT: At this point you watch on the left side, the upper area, holding a lantern, Algar emerges.

ALL: (gasping)

MATT: Looks over the platform there, flanked by a worker of these tunnels who's wearing a simple leather frock with gloves, and is listening to him and walking up beside. His two dwarven bodyguards are beside the two of them as they approach and look over the side. He looks over the edge, the small railing, and looks into the water and goes, "Oh, he's sleeping." Holds up his left arm and begins this, "Xundi! Stand to attention, you frustrating water spout!" The glow begins to pulse and the water bows a bit above. I'm going to whisper something to you.

TALIESIN: Okay, because I was like ten seconds away from casting Eyes of the Grave.

SAM: Whispers!

LAURA: I want to listen, but I shouldn't listen.

TRAVIS: Guys, our NYC live show!

SAM: Tickets are still on sale, orchestra seats, very few left.

TRAVIS: East coast, come bring it! Boston, Massachusetts.

MARISHA: Balcony seats, though. Good view!

SAM: Who knows what will happen at the live show?

MATT: As the water bows up, you see it burst like a bubble and there, emerging from that space below where it was, you see something that looks like an impressively large aquatic humanoid. Their chest and torso rather rotund, their skin a blue-green color, long thin arms that end in somewhat webbed, clawed fingers. Their face somewhat fish-like, with a wide mouth and small fins that crest the head. The lower half of its body seems obscured by rushing water at first, but then as it comes to its full stance at about seven, eight foot tall, you notice that the lower half of its body is just water. It's a constant swirling whirlwind, similar to creatures you were fighting in the previous chamber. That dull glow seems to emanate from most of its torso in this darkened chamber, and it gives this faint light source by its very presence.

MATT: It has a small vest on, and sets of jewelry, including this thick metal band that hangs like a presentory necklace around its throat. It turns and looks up and says, "At your service." It seems to say with an undertone of exasperation and eyeroll. Algar screams out to it again. "The Archway craftsman are complaining of cold furnaces and slow bellows. Please ensure enough water is being spun through the engine into the district." He snaps his fingers really tightly on his left hand. With a low grunt of brimming hatred, the creature raises its arms and a large stationary wave of water rises from the depths beside it. The liquid seems to form once more and there's a slight sparkle of energy around its hands, and this second bowing forms into a large curved wave that seems to be perpetually crashing and then filling itself, similar to the creatures you just fought, but a much larger scale. It whips into its full form and where the head would be bends and shifts-- almost elements out of the movie The Abyss-- as it turns toward this figure being referred to as Xundi. It spins around and looks up towards the supervisor and his troop. "Thy will is my bond." The two of them begin to turn and shift towards the left hand grate in the chamber.

TRAVIS: What is the distance from where we are to the terrace balcony space that they're on?

MATT: I'd say roughly 80 or so feet. At this point Xundi comes to a stop and looks over his shoulder in your direction and goes, "Oh. Intruders." Algar shouts off, "What? How?" and holds up his lantern and focuses the beam over across the way there. You guys, even though you're up against the wall, there's nothing to hide behind. The light pushes past a few of you and then stops. He shouts off, "Dispatch them quickly!"

MARISHA: Who says that? Xundi?

MATT: Algar shouts it off to Xundi down below. Let's roll initiative.

LAURA: How far away is Algar from us?

MATT: You will see in a second.

MARISHA: Maybe we can talk to him? He seemed like a genie.

LAURA: I bet it's his necklace.

MARISHA: It feels like a genie circumstance, right?

SAM: Wait, who has a necklace? Algar?

LAURA: Xundi has a necklace on and he's like--

ASHLEY: “My will is my bond.”

MARISHA: I don't want to fight this guy. Let's try to talk to him.

SAM: You don't want to fight this guy?

TALIESIN: Well, there's an easy way to deal with this.

LAURA: Not Xundi, I want to fight Algar.

MARISHA: Yeah, we want to kill Algar.

TALIESIN: Algar's got a control mechanism, I think.

SAM: Are you Taliesin right now? Matt's gone, I guess. Oh, he's back!

MATT: Excuse me for a moment of preparation here.

SAM: That's real water. And colored lights!

MATT: This is the difficulty of doing this.

LAURA: Oh, Melora.

TRAVIS: This is dope, man! Yeah!

LAURA: Did you think we were going to get to this?

MATT: I didn't know if you were. This is the difficulty of doing this in here.

SAM: Dungeons & Dragons just broke!

MATT: I know, that's all right. We will fix this, guys.

LAURA: You sounded like Bob Ross as he was saying that. It's all happening nicely.

TRAVIS: It's so worth it.

MATT: And with that, guys--

ASHLEY: Give it to me now.

MATT: I'd like you guys to place yourselves, if you can, where you would be on this side of the chamber as you enter. There is Xundi.

ASHLEY: Oh, what? He's awesome looking.

MATT: And there is the large elemental where you had seen him. The worker has run past and vanished into the chamber before and there on the top, looking over the terrace, the dwarven bodyguards right there. And that's Algar right there.

SAM: He's the tall one?

MATT: Yeah, he's the tall one right there.

LIAM: Matt, I'm putting Frumpkin in this corner.

TRAVIS: We're not in the room, right?

LAURA: No, we haven't come in yet. We were all hiding in this little thing. I'm putting you in the back, Nott.

SAM: Sure. I mean, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, that was our lineup.

LAURA: So you can hop up. Oh, that's true. That was our lineup.

SAM: I was stealthing so hard, I'm playing with the McElroys right now.

LAURA: So how far is that?

MATT: For that right there? To Algar, from you?

MATT: Somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 to 70 feet. You're not entirely sure.

MARISHA: You said roll for initiative?

LIAM: Yeah, got to roll for initiative.

MATT: Yeah, roll for initiative, guys.

TALIESIN: Oh god. Shit.

MARISHA: Going to use my boots.


[dramatic music]

LAURA: (humming along)

MATT: This isn't working, but that's fine.

MARISHA: Not too bad.

TALIESIN: You know, I think one of the bits isn't turning on. It should be just about instantaneous.

MATT: Yeah. Oh well.


LAURA: They have high constitution, that's what you said?

MARISHA: The water elemental that I rolled against had a plus three to its constitution.

LAURA: So they probably have pretty high, and that guy could still have a lot.

MARISHA: Maybe. I can find out, though, if I hit twice in a row. If there are any stats that are beneficial to any of your guys' abilities, let me know. If you want to know, if you want to take the risk.

MATT: Oh well. It's fine. Wonders of live. Well for the time being, we'll just take this aside. Save it for another day.

ALL: No!

SAM: Matt! Come on. Let's get some crew people.

MATT: I don't have time to troubleshoot right now and tonight's been moving quickly.

MARISHA: Steve, you're the best. Wait, it's going?

MATT: It's not misting--

LIAM: Bong rip this shit!

MATT: It's all good. So, top of the line. We have here, initiatives 25 to 20?

SAM and TRAVIS: 21.

MATT: Oh, wow!

TRAVIS: Oh no, I'm just repeating what Nott said.

MATT: Okay, got you.

TRAVIS: I don't know why I did that.

LIAM: Yeah, definitely 21.

MATT: All right. 20 to 15?

MARISHA and SAM: 19.





SAM: Say all those again.

MATT: So--

TRAVIS: It goes Nott, Beau, Caduceus, Fjord, Yasha.

MARISHA: Wait, no. I thought it was Fjord, Caduceus, Yasha?

TRAVIS: I know I'm 16. Yasha's 15.


MARISHA: What did you have, Caduceus?


MARISHA: Okay. You're right, I'm sorry! You're right! I'm wrong!

LIAM: And we got plenty of light in this room, correct?

LAURA: He's glowing.

MATT: There's a faint glow from there, but there is not a technical light source beyond the lantern here. So this area is torchlight. And then dim light in that area. So you can see most of the chamber in dim light. The closer you get to Algar, the better vision you have. So we have-- We're missing-- What is Caleb and--

LIAM: Oh, 13. Sorry.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Did you go already? Did you say yours?

ASHLEY: I got 15.

SAM: Ah!


MATT: All right. Jester?

LAURA: Nine.

LIAM: Go for the sky, Ash.

ASHLEY: Shoot for the sky. Where's the little (clicking sounds)?

TALIESIN: The flaggy thing?

MATT: Top of the round: Nott, you're up.

SAM: I'm up first?

MATT: Yeah, you're up first.

SAM: I'm so scared! There's water, water everywhere and all of it wants to kill me. I will scramble ahead and-- Oh, I'm so far away. I'll scramble ahead and to the left, near where the octopus is. Am I within 30 feet of those big watery things?

MATT: It looks like you may be. You might be just out of range for 30 feet.

SAM: Then I will--

MATT: You can move a little closer if you want.

SAM: No fucking way. I will just use my bonus action to dash and go on the other side of that pillar. I guess a little closer, but keeping the pillar between me and all baddies, if possible.

MATT: There?

SAM: Yeah. And hold my action until someone is engaged.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Do I have to aim at someone?

MATT: What are you holding? Are you holding an attack?

SAM: A crossbow bolt. Until someone is-- they're engaged with someone of my friends.

MATT: All right. That ends your go. Beau, you're up next.

MARISHA: Which one is Algar?

LAURA: The fancy one. The tall one.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: They all look the same when they're minis.

MATT: That is Algar. The two dwarves are his--

MARISHA: Oh, he is taller. You're right.

SAM: Actually, you know what? I'm sorry, Matt. Can I undo?

MATT: Sure, what do you want to do?

SAM: Can I use my action to just cast Mage Hand?

MATT: Sure. You go ahead and you cast Mage Hand.

SAM: Okay. I'm going to put it up near Algar.


TRAVIS: I got you.

SAM: Wait, where's the necklace? Is it on Algar or is it--

MARISHA: It's on the genie guy.

TRAVIS: That we can tell. We don't know.

MARISHA: But Algar might have something.


SAM: I'll put it near the genie guy for now, because that's all I've seen.

TALIESIN: Algar might have something.

LAURA: It came off again.

MARISHA: I don't want to fight the genie guy. I'm going to go for Algar.

LAURA: Yeah, go for Algar!

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to see what I can do.

TALIESIN: Yes! I'm so proud of you.

SAM: Matt is repairing an aquarium during our game tonight.

TALIESIN: To be fair, there is nothing better than Dungeons & Aquarium Repair.

MATT: Now they think that I normally do this.

TRAVIS: No, we fucking know that you do.

TALIESIN: No, I feel good that you're making this happen.


TALIESIN: Things are looking better.

LAURA: Oh, things are happening!

SAM: The water's moving. The fish are getting air. You know why I love this, guys?

TRAVIS: If your finger gets cut off I'm going to--

SAM: I love this because it's kind of like an aerator.

MATT: I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.

LIAM: Oh man.

LAURA: But it looks pretty.

MARISHA: It was really awesome when the--


MARISHA: I still don't think that's supposed to--

LAURA: Yeah, that's it!

MARISHA: Is that it? Ay!

MATT: I did it. I did a thing.

LAURA: Yay, Matt!

ASHLEY: Good job, Matt!

MATT: Thank you guys.

SAM: Science!

MATT: Move it forward for me. Thank you. That'll do.

MARISHA: (singing) Bill Nye the science guy.

MATT: I did a thing!


TRAVIS: We got fog smoke!

MARISHA: Look at all that vapor.

LAURA: Good job, Matthew.

ASHLEY: Good job.

MATT: Thank you, guys. Now you get to fight it.

LAURA and LIAM: (singing) Here it comes!

TALIESIN: Yup, there it goes!



MARISHA: That smokiness.

ASHLEY: So scary!

ALL: Yeah! (laughter)

TRAVIS: It's the little things, people!

MATT: The little things, really. All right. So--


LIAM: Sick, Matt. Sick.

MATT: Turn that down just a little bit, there. So, guys--

ALL: Ooh! (laughter)

MATT: It was worth it for me. It was worth it. Thank you for being patient on that one.

LIAM: We're so happy!

TRAVIS: So worth it!

MATT: Beau, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Okay. I want to do some parkour, awesome dope monk shit, and be like (repeating) bink. And see if I can get to here, 40 feet?

MATT: Okay, go for it.

MARISHA: Can I do that?

MATT: Make an acrobatics check. If you want to try. With disadvantage, because they're slick, moist walls.

LAURA: Moist.

MARISHA and SAM: Slick and moist.

MARISHA: Oh! Real good on both ones! I'll take that 16 from Gil. I take it all back, Gil.

LIAM and MARISHA: For now.

MARISHA: We're at 22.

MATT: I'll allow you to make it as far as here without using any movement.

MARISHA: I will accept that.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: You have to accept that.

MARISHA: Here, you said?

MATT: Yeah, that's good.

MARISHA: Do I-- Fuck, but that doesn't give me--

LAURA: Fuck butt?

MARISHA: Fuck butt. Do I have any more movement? (counting) 25? Can I still try and go further one? With my 45 feet of movement?

MATT: Let's say from there-- It's a lot of movement, but it's also running off of walls that don't really-- To land off of it you're going to have to land this way. I'm thinking trajectory-wise.

MARISHA: Okay I've gone (counting) 20, arguably 25 to 30. Can I just then try and get here?

MATT: Make a secondary acrobatics check because you're now running off of two different walls.

MARISHA: Copy. With still disadvantage?

MATT: With disadvantage, yeah. Because they're slick.

MARISHA: Not as good that time, Gil.

TRAVIS: You keep putting him in the mix.


MATT: Yeah, that'll put you at there with ten more feet of movement.

MARISHA: With ten more feet! Can I be like: Excuse me. Excuse me, Nott. Sorry.

MATT: Five, ten? No, because you'd finish your space-- because you're in the water at that point and it's considered--


MARISHA: Oh, so I can only get-- Can I get behind her?

MATT: No, because you'd be occupying the same space as Nott.

MARISHA: Well then. And I can't see Algar?

MATT: You can see Algar, barely. He has three-quarters cover.

LAURA: Tug your shirt.

MATT: There you go.

SAM: T-shirts are bullshit.

MARISHA: Fuck it, this is what I worked for. I'm going to go for it and try and do two shurikens right at his face. Three-quarters cover. First one is a 14 plus seven, so that's a big old 21! And then nine plus seven is a big old 16.

MATT: This is to Algar?


MATT: Both of them?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All right. With three-quarters cover, that's going to be a plus five to AC, so his AC is technically-- what were the two rolls?

MARISHA: A 21 and a 16.

MATT: The first one hits.

SAM: Yeah Algar, don't mess with the Ruby.

MARISHA: The first one-- mm-hmm, nine damage.

MATT: All right. Actually, yeah-- they don't have a moment to react. Cool, so that ends your turn?


MATT: You throw both. One ricochets off, the other one (grunt), Algar looks, "What the hell? Get them!"

MARISHA: I go-- around the corner.

MATT: That ends Beau's turn. It is now the water elemental's turn. Vanishes beneath the water.

SAM: We won!

LIAM: We won, we won!

MATT: Emerges right there.

SAM: Ah!

LAURA: Over Beau?

MATT: Yeah, next to Beau. It's going to take two slam attacks against Beau. That's going to be a nine to hit.


MATT: That's going to be a 17 to hit.


MATT: Both large, giant slam fist hordes hitting the water, causing these giant splashes, but no impact on you. That finishes its turn, that brings us now to Xundi's turn. Xundi is going to go ahead and angle over this-- actually, he's going to angle right where it is. You watch as it brings its hand forward and there's this tiny little spiral of dull, greenish energy that turns into a jet of really fast-powered water that shoots out in a 60-foot line. Yasha, Caduceus, and Caleb, I need you all to make dexterity saving throws, please.

TRAVIS: Not everybody, just in that line.

MATT: Just in that line.

TALIESIN: Nope. Four.

LIAM: 16.

ASHLEY: I rolled a natural one, but I do now have Fanatical Focus.

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: So if you fail a saving throw-- while you're raging, and I'm not.

MATT: You're not raging yet, no.

ASHLEY: Natural one.

LAURA and SAM: Oh no!

MATT: That will be 24 points of bludgeoning damage. You take half that, so you take 12, but that's 24 to Caduceus and 24 to Yasha. You're both pushed 20 feet away and knocked prone.

TRAVIS: 20 feet away? Two zero?

MARISHA: 20 feet?

MATT: Yes. Caleb gets pushed back to there--

LIAM: I get pushed back even though I saved?

MATT: Actually, no, you are not pushed, Caleb.

SAM: That means I'm going to slam into people.

MATT: Yep, which means they all slam into you. You actually hold that position-- I'll say for the purposes of the narrative here, you do get knocked prone from their impact.

LAURA: But it keeps them from going back.

MATT: Yeah. You all don't get shot out of the room, but all three of you are knocked prone on the ground, Caleb taking the brunt of two of his larger teammates--

LIAM: Flipping somersault, up in the air.

SAM: Those are some big fellas.

MATT: With that, he's going to shift over into this direction. That's going to finish his turn. Caduceus, you're up.

SAM and MARISHA: Xundi.

MATT: Xundi.

MARISHA: Xundi with a "J"?

SAM: I'm spelling it "Zh".

LIAM: Like Zsa Zsa?

MATT: Xundi.

TALIESIN: I'm going to get up and be like, "Man, I've got to get that bracelet off that guy, god. Ugh." I'm going to--

SAM: Where he's from, these are bracelets, and these are necklaces.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and get up and crawl around in the corner right there, get as far into the corner. Am I within 60 feet of Algar?

MATT: (counting) Unfortunately, that's as far as you can get is right up against Yasha.

TALIESIN: Am I 60 feet from Algar?

MATT: You don't know, you have to eyeball it.

TALIESIN: Motherfucker. Uh--

MATT: It's a little dicey.

TALIESIN: It is a little dicey. That's as far as I can move?

MATT: Yeah, because you used half your movement to get up from prone.

TALIESIN: Then I have no damn movement.

MATT: You're moving through the water.

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to-- let's see. First thing I'm going to do is-- oh man. I'm so sorry, I don't quite have my shit together.

MATT: Fjord, you're up next, by the way.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use my Blight Staff. I'm going to use my bonus action to cast the swarm.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use it to get-- how far away?

MATT: The beetles are swimming on the surface.

TALIESIN: Well I mean, they fly.

MATT: Oh yeah.

TALIESIN: I figure, they're (flying noise) so. Flying beetles.

MATT: They're coasting over.

TALIESIN: They're going to go irritate the other side of the water monster at the moment.

MATT: So right there?

TALIESIN: No, the water--

MATT: Okay, over there, it's harrying it, so--

TALIESIN: Then for my attack-- hmm?

MATT: You can roll their attack if you want to.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. That's uh-- sorry. That's a weird little-- I actually don't have their attack information still.

MATT: Oh. It's a--

TALIESIN: Plus what? It's a bite attack. I know I don't-- we haven't fixed it

MATT: It's okay. We'll get that fixed in the app. It's plus three to hit, so go ahead and roll an attack to hit.

TALIESIN: No, that's an eight.

MATT: That does not hit unfortunately. But you now have a swarm of beetles now here in this dark underground area--

TALIESIN: For my actual action I'm going to put-- I'm going to use one of my Channel Divinities.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: On the water creature just to-- just for now I'm going to cast the-- Path to the Grave.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And then that's my turn.

MATT: That finishes your go. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: Okay. I'm going to try some shit.

TALIESIN: The person who hits that water thing is going to hurt.

TRAVIS: Can I use my 30 feet to run by this creature to this area?

MATT: Sure. Yeah. Because you don't have to worry about that. So you can go (counting) 30 is as far as you can get.


MATT: It will get an attack of opportunity on you as you move.

TRAVIS: I'll take it.

MATT: So as you rush by-- (whoof)-- reaches out with a heavy--

MARISHA: Sentinel attack

MATT: That's a natural 20.

ALL: Oof.

TALIESIN: I'm going to undo that.

MATT: Oh because you have a reaction that can do that! That's right!

TALIESIN: None of that shit.

MARISHA: Can I Sentinel that bitch since I'm next to it? And it's attacking someone who's not me?

MATT: You can.

LIAM: Yeah! What's that power, Tal?

TALIESIN: I'm trying to find it again--

MATT: It's an ability of the Grave cleric. So that's just a regular attack there. So that's going to be-- Zsundi, Xundi, thirteen points of bludgeoning damage to you, Fjord, on the back of your shoulder as you lunge forward but you make it to your space.

TRAVIS: Did you roll to hit?

MATT: It still hits as a natural 20, but it's just not a critical hit.

TALIESIN: I can cancel that.

TRAVIS: Thirteen points, got it.

MATT: That would have been a little harsher. So what are you doing?

TRAVIS: Okay, so.

MATT: You're up next, Yasha.

TRAVIS: Would you say that's about thirty feet to here?

MATT: It looks like it's pretty close, you'd have to give it a shot.

TRAVIS: All right. Grasping the falchion, I'm going to use my bonus action to cast Misty Step and try to (fwoomp).

MATT: Oh, it's a bonus action. Yeah. (counting) 30. With the height that gets you right there.

SAM: Oh no, Fjord. Ten bucks you get defenestrated.

MARISHA: I rolled a 14 to attack the water elemental.

MATT: That just hits.

MARISHA: Not great… six damage.

TALIESIN: And technically it's also divinity.

MATT: That was with your staff or with your fist?


MATT: All right. It's also halved.

MARISHA: Shit, I should have just punched it.

MATT: Well now you know. You're reminded--oh. It seems to resist non-magical impacts.

TALIESIN: Did the divinity get pulled then from that?

MATT: No, so yeah, that would have been an attack. It takes six damage, and the vulnerability goes away. So, it does full damage.

MARISHA: Did I just waste something?

TALIESIN: Kind of? Something that nobody understands yet that I should probably explain to people at some point.

MATT: Yeah, but tactically you'll figure it out in the future.

TALIESIN: Oh god. Now I'm thinking--

MATT: That's okay. Now you know. That brings us to Fjord's turn.

TRAVIS: I appear on the platform. I look around and say, “Hey kids, you just fucking couldn't leave well enough alone.” And I'll take the falchion and I'll shove it in the ground and cast Thunder Step!

SAM: Ooh!

LAURA: Yeah!

SAM: Thunder Step? What's Thunder Step?

TRAVIS: They take 3d10 damage and this cacophonous thunderous boom.

SAM: It's not Thunder Wave?

TRAVIS: No, thunder step. And I jump 90 feet in any direction.

SAM: Whoa!



MATT: All righty. Yeah that'll do it. All right. So.


MATT: Technically you didn't even have to use your bonus action to Misty Step there.

TRAVIS: I didn't?

MATT: No, when you-- using the action you teleport yourself to an unoccupied space you can see within range and immediately after you disappear-- actually no, the boom happens when you teleport. No, you're right. You did it right.

TRAVIS: Oh, phew.

MATT: So, where do you want to land?

TRAVIS: I want to land on this platform over here.

MARISHA: That's so cool!

MATT: You watch as Fjord teleports, speaks for a second, and then where he vanishes, there's this blast of thunderous energy. The moisture in the air is evaporated from the impact, causing this faint misty orb-like power-- like that! Thank you, Taliesin!

TALIESIN: I had to.

MATT: Constitution saving throw to each of them, so go ahead and roll damage on that one.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's a constitution 15, is the save.

MATT: Got you. That's cocked. That's a failure on one of the guards. So total 15 you said?

TRAVIS: 15 for the save, and 19 points of damage.

MATT: 19 points of damage. Failure on both guards.


TRAVIS: I did something!

MARISHA: You did it! It was so good!

MATT: Algar does succeed though, he rolled a 16. He takes half damage?

TRAVIS: He does.

ASHLEY: That was awesome.


MARISHA: That totally was, that was great!

MATT: They are pushed-- oh no, they just take damage.

TRAVIS: Yeah, they just take damage.

MATT: Impact hits, they almost slide off the side and catch the railing and barely pull themselves back into the space. All right then, is that your turn?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's it.

MATT: That was nice.

TRAVIS: Oh, thanks.

MATT: Finishing Fjord's turn, Yasha, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay, I would like to rage.


ASHLEY: I'm prone, right?

MATT: You are prone, yes, so you use half your movement to stand up.

ASHLEY: The other half of the movement then, could I get to the other side of the water elemental then?

MATT: What's your movement? 40, right?


MATT: (counting) Yeah, you can get there because of your barbarian speed.

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to take an attack.

MATT: Go for it.


MATT: 17 hits, go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: Grog is gone.

TRAVIS: I'm so happy!

ASHLEY: That's awesome.


ASHLEY: (counting) 13.

MATT: All righty. That was the first attack. You do that with your--? You have an extra attack; you can do two strikes.

ASHLEY: Oh, I forgot about that. Jesus, sorry.

MATT: It's okay.

ASHLEY: Oh, that does not hit. No, that does not hit. Seven.

MATT: Seven does not hit, no. You swing twice. First strike hits, second one swings wide as it dodges out of the way. It seems like when the first hit its head area, where its head would be splits in two, one's still focused on Beau and the other one curves around to look at you for a second. You see this dull glow where its sentient eyes would be and is now focused on each of you. Does that end your turn, Yasha?


MATT: All right. That brings us to Algar. Algar, having this happen, goes, "Shit! Protect me!" Pulls out a potion and drinks it really fast.

SAM: Oh no. Douche.

MATT: Heals up a bit.

LAURA: He *heals.*

TRAVIS: Did he take any damage?

LAURA: Yeah, he took damage from you.

TRAVIS: No he didn't-- oh, he took half damage.

MARISHA: I threw a shuriken.

MATT: She threw a shuriken at him. He's going to move up into this chamber a bit here.

SAM: Oh no, he's escaping.

MARISHA: Little dick.

MATT: That's going to end his turn. He doesn't want to get too far away from his bodyguards. That brings us to Caleb.

LIAM: Okay, so Caleb springs up out of the water, and I think from where I am, I have a direct line of sight to that corner that he just went around, yeah? Because they've got light up there.

MATT: There you do, yes.

LIAM: Yeah. I am pulling out the bat shit and the sulfur and I am going to slap them together and throw a fucking Fireball and yell: *Fick ihr alle!* A Fireball is going to shoot across the room into that square over there just to the left of him, my left, which means it should get all three.

TRAVIS: Arcane hype!

ALL: Ooh!

TALIESIN: That's nasty.

MATT: Go ahead and roll some damage. What's your spell DC?

LIAM: It is a 16.

MATT: 16, okay.

MARISHA: Big money.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

LIAM: (counting)

MARISHA: Where'd you get the rainbow dice?

MATT: Failure on the first one.

LIAM: 34 fire damage.


MATT: Failure on the first bodyguard. Success on the second one.

TRAVIS: A Hans and Franz.

MARISHA: Hans and Franz.

MATT: Okay, Algar does succeed. Thank god.

MARISHA: What? No! You! You were using my dice?

TRAVIS: Algar succeeded, you guys. That's twice.

MATT: However, this blast of fire rocks the interior of the chamber. You watch as both of the bodyguards (grunting and panting) look up at themselves. You can see their skin is burned, areas it's cracked a little bit, and they look over towards Algar, look out towards you, and you see him defensively move back towards his position.

LIAM: I will walk 15 feet backward into the tunnel I'm in. (Bane voice) I will walk 15 feet backward.

MATT: All right, that ends Caleb's go. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to walk forward as far as I can, like here? Can I get here?

MATT: From there? (counting) Yes, you can.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to Invoke Duplicity 30 feet in front of me.

MATT: All righty, where do you want it to go?

LAURA: Well, I'm sure right around there.

MATT: Here?

LAURA: Yeah. Then my duplicate is going to cast Spiritual Weapon at what's his fuck? At Algar.

SAM: You can't see Algar.

LAURA: Yeah, but I can see where he went.

MATT: (counting)

LAURA: It's 120--

MARISHA: Block the door.

MATT: Yeah, then you can do that there.

LAURA: Yeah!

LIAM: Oh, surprise motherfucker.

MARISHA: Large fries, motherfucker.

MATT: Heart eyes, motherfucker.

LAURA: Still the lollipop, but razor blade edges.

MATT: Ooh, a jagged lollipop.

ALL: Oh.

LAURA: I'm going to try to hit his arm and chop off his arm.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Oh god.

MARISHA: Rue dies, motherfucker.

MATT: Large fries, motherfucker.

LAURA: Natural 20!


MATT: Go ahead and roll some damage on that one.

TALIESIN and LIAM: (chainsaw noises)

LAURA: Did that work? Did I chop off his arm because that's what I was trying to do!

MATT: You don't actually see him, so you're hoping it hits across the wall.

LAURA: I'm hoping it hits him! Ten damage.

MATT: Technically, I should have given you disadvantage because you can't see the target, but it's fine, I'll let it go through. There you go. You hear (groan) across the wall. You have no idea to what effect it was, but you hit something. Probably Algar.

LAURA: My duplicate goes, "Ha ha," too.

LIAM: Are you a fan of Matisse?

MARISHA: Right in the kidney.

MATT: End your turn?

LAURA: Yeah, sure.

MATT: All right, top of the round. Nott, you're up. Actually, no, the dwarves have to go still. The bodyguards rush over, getting into the space that that's there, pushing past to the-- heads this way. This one is going to move back and you don't know what this one does because he's moved from your visual range, but this one, as it pulls back, it has a large heavy crossbow, and it's going to go ahead and take a shot at you, Jester, from back here. Actually, let's see. No, he's going to shoot at Caduceus because Caduceus is already wounded and wants to try and take down those who are already hit. That's going to be, against Caduceus-- it's going to be a 21 to hit?

TALIESIN: Oh, that hits.

MATT: All right. You take nine points of piercing damage.


MATT: That's all the damage you take, and then it moves back and hides in this space here. That's going to go ahead and end that go. Now, it is top of the round. Nott, you're up.

SAM: How can I control the Mage Hand with a bonus action? Can I move it and grab with it, or just grab with it? It's very vague.

MATT: Let's have a look here.

TRAVIS: Read it, Sam, what's it say on D&D Beyond?

LAURA: (singing) On D&D!

SAM: It says, "You can control the hand." But I don't know if that means--

MATT: The hand can move 30 feet each time you use it, so it can move and do something.

SAM: Okay. So who has the necklace? Zsa Zsa? Zsuzsi?

LAURA: Has a necklace on, but Algar has a bracelet on that's controlling it.

SAM: I can't see Algar.

MATT: Mage Hand is somewhere.

SAM: Xundi is the--

MATT: It's right there, yeah.

SAM: He's wearing a necklace? I will bonus action try to steal his necklace.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll an arcana check.

SAM: Arcana check?

MATT: Yep.

SAM: 19. I don't get sleight of hand or anything?

MATT: It's less of a necklace and more of a large metallic band that is around the neck like a collar.

LAURA: It's a collar.

TRAVIS: He ain't stepping out in high fashion.

SAM: 19.

MATT: The hand reaches and grasps towards it and pulls, but it's locked in place. There's no trick to removing it that the hand seems to be able to deal with, but it's a good thought.

SAM: I give him a purple nurple.


SAM: And then I'll back up a couple feet and fire at the big water blob. Does it get an attack or no?

MATT: It does not have reach with its slam, so no.

SAM: Okay I'll fire.

MATT: All right, go for it.

SAM: That is a 17, I believe.

MATT: 17 hits, go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: 17, plus I'll use Fury of the Small to add another six, that's 23!

MATT: Nice! 23 points of damage, well done. All right, that finishes your turn. That brings us to Beau.

MARISHA: I am going to steel myself for a minute, look at the water elemental to my right, and then cast Step of the Wind with a ki point and try and disengage like a rogue.

SAM: (singing) Like a rogue!

MATT: Step of the Wind lets you move as a bonus action, right?

MARISHA: It does, but it says you can spend one ki point to take the disengage or dash action as a bonus action.

MATT: Oh, that's what it means, gotcha. So yeah you can disengage. You use a ki point, your bonus action to disengage.

MARISHA: So I would have to take an attack of opportunity if I decided to dash instead of disengage, right?

MATT: Correct. Up to you.

SAM: Have any of you heard of Marius LePual?


MATT: What're you doing, Beau?

MARISHA: I'm going to risk the hit and the dash.

MATT: All right. So it's going to swing towards you. That is going to be an 18 to hit.


MATT: Whoosh, just past you.

MARISHA: So my jump distance is also doubled for the turn. Can I be like, parkour, parkour, and jump. I'm going to try and jump up here.

MATT: Okay, it's still your movement. So if you're wanting to leap off and parkour? All right, so we'll say that's about 20 feet to get there. Go ahead and make an acrobatics check.

MARISHA: Is this disadvantage again or no? I'm not rolling Gil.

MATT: This is still disadvantage because it's slick.

MARISHA: That's a natural one.

MATT: Natural one. So--

SAM: Don't you have a feat now? Fanatical fanatic?

TRAVIS: (quietly) That's Yasha.

MATT: So you land, and slip right into the ground, the water splashes, you're underwater for a second. You use the rest of your Step of the Wind extra dash movement to get up from prone. That's your bonus action.You still have your action and movement.

MARISHA: I move the rest of the way.

MATT: All right. (counting)

MARISHA: I can't jump now? I can't use that double jump distance? Is that done, Step of the Wind?

MATT: I'll say if you wanted to try and vertical leap from here, go ahead and make an athletics check to see if, given the circumstances of the turn, you can make it.

MARISHA: Okay, 22.

MATT: 22? I'll allow you to just get the final distance on the edge and have to correct yourself and then catch it on the ledge. But that's the end of your movement there.

MARISHA: (panting) Fuck, you guys. And I'm just going to take my shurikens and pop pop!

MATT: Towards?

MARISHA: Whoever I can see.

MATT: You can barely see Algar just around the corner. Three-quarters cover. And then there's the protector who looks fairly hurt.

LAURA: Did I chop off his hand? Can you tell?

MARISHA: Who, the dwarf?

MATT: I mean they all look pretty hurt, the fireball wrecked their world a little bit.

MARISHA: Does it look like Jester chopped off Algar's hand?


MARISHA: (shouting) No!

LAURA: Damn it!

MARISHA: Sorry! I'll go one for the dwarf, one for Algar. Pretty color for the dwarf. Balls, so many balls all the way around. We have nine for the dwarf, and we have 12 for Algar.

MATT: No, unfortunately none of those hit. So they ricochet off the stone walls. And your foot is still slick from having to balance on the edge and when you throw them both you have to compensate and they both go wide. But good try.

TRAVIS: Good try!


SAM: No, not a good try, you failed.

MARISHA: I don't have any more bonus actions right, or anything?

MATT: No, that's it. That's your action, bonus action, and your movement. So, the elemental is going to whelm into Caduceus and Yasha's faces.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: And it's going to make--

TALIESIN: I'm very low, we'll see how this goes.

MATT: It's going to make a whelm ability. So each creature in its space, I need you both to make strength saving throws. You have advantage because you're raging.

SAM: Come on, Caduce.


MATT: That's a failure.


MATT: 18? That's a success. So, you are grappled. Until it ends, you are considered restrained, you are unable to breathe, and yeah, that's it, currently. So you're restrained, grappled, unable to breathe.

SAM: That seems nice. It's like a Snuggie.

MATT: You are pushed out of its space, Yasha, so you are shoved out at a corner there. You manage to free yourself, but Caduceus you now see is swimming in this creature as it's spinning around, it's swirling like a giant water spout in the center of the chamber. And this guy here is going to go ahead and move out into this space, and knowing what it summons it's going to go ahead and pull another water jet. This one is going to go ahead and shoot through what it thinks is you, passes through nothing, but it's going to go for Caduceus and Caleb as well.

LIAM: What's the distance?

MATT: So this guy will move right up there. (counting) Yeah, it hits you. So I need you both to make dexterity saving throws. The water elemental has to as well. And fails.

TALIESIN: Dexterity saving throw?


TALIESIN: Come on. Nope.

LAURA: Put that one away for a while.

TALIESIN: Yup, I'm putting it away. I'm out.

LAURA: You don't know, you don't know. You don't know.

SAM: What do you mean, you don't know? He just did the math.

TALIESIN: No, I haven't done the math yet, but I'm pretty sure.

MATT: So that's 25 points of damage.

TALIESIN: I'm out.

LIAM: Here's a question, nobody called dibs on the dodecahedron today. Could one of us, since nobody did?

MATT: You can't retract--

LIAM: So we just got to say every game, we just have to make sure that we spit it out. Okay, so I fail, I got a seven.

MATT: All right, so that's 25 points of bludgeoning damage to you, Caleb.

LIAM: I'm out.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit!

TALIESIN: Guess who's going to be healing.

LAURA: Oh, fuck. Okay.

SAM: No!

MARISHA: My worst nightmare!

SAM: Water!

LIAM: Oh, I'm not out, because I have Molly's necklace.

MARISHA: You have the necklace from Molly!

TALIESIN: You're out, you're just not doing death saves.

MATT: You're unconscious, but you're not making death saves, you're stabilized.

LIAM: Although, I'm underwater.

MATT: Yeah, you are.

TRAVIS: It's one foot of water, you probably fell on your back.

MATT: No, he's face down.

TRAVIS: God damn it!

MATT: I mean--

TALIESIN: It's got to keep stabilizing you, I think.

MATT: Well, you can still drown with it on, but what's your constitution modifier?

LIAM: Plus two.

MATT: Yeah, you have like three minutes before you drown, sitting there. So you're okay for now. We'll say, for just the purposes of like, you're not sucking air in necessarily.

LIAM: Right, I'm unconscious and holding my breath.

MATT: Nah, yeah you've convinced me out of it. We'll get to it.

LIAM: I think that's the way to go.

MATT: No that's right, we'll go to constitution saving throws on your turn. All right, so, finishing that.

MARISHA: Did you just talk Matt out of it?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah that's cool.

MATT: Noticing that that is an illusion and seeing you across the wall--

LAURA: Oh, but can I make her, like, fall? Probably not, because it's not my turn.

MATT: No, it's not. So it turns away and goes underneath here and glances up towards Beau. You see as it glides across the water at rapid speed. It seems to travel very quickly through any sort of water surface and can jump quite a bit. That brings us to Caduceus's turn. At the top of your turn, because you are still whelmed, I need you to make a death saving throw because you immediately take damage as you're caught in the spiral of its whelm. So you would take 2d8 plus four bludgeoning damage, but you just instantaneously lose a death save. And it's the end of your turn, I need you to make another death saving throw.

SAM: Oh my God this is happening again!

TALIESIN: Yup. 11, I'm good.

MATT: That's a success.


LIAM: I also have a question about the Periapt. It says that whenever you roll-- oh, it's rolling a hit die to regain hit points, but it doesn't count when anyone heals me?

MATT: No, it's only when you're using hit dice during a short rest.

TALIESIN: As long as Laura throws-- yeah, then--

MATT: Fjord, you're up.

MARISHA: Can't die twice in a row.

TRAVIS: Yeah okay, I'm a little shook, it's cool.

MATT: What are you doing?

TRAVIS: I'm going to use my speed to just peek in the doorway. Just to get a visual on the hallway. I don't actually need to see them.

MATT: Okay, so you can see the hallway behind here that continues back.

TRAVIS: I'm going to use my last of two spell slots to cast Hunger of Hadar 20 feet into the hallway with just the brim-- just so it gets the-- yeah.

MATT: All right, so for that we'll say, I finally get to use these.

TRAVIS: So I pop in the doorway, and I reach up and grab a little bit of reality, and I tear a black hole in the hallway.

MARISHA: Yes! Looney Tunes style!


SAM: Wait, what?

LAURA: He's bringing out the hentai.

LIAM: Cthulhu's dick.

TRAVIS: You ain't going nowhere, motherfucker!

SAM: You ever done this before?

MATT: He's used the ability before, yeah.

LAURA: But it was in darkness, right? So none of us actually saw it.

TRAVIS: Everything in it is black. So they're blinded, they can't hear anything.

MATT: And what do they have to make, saving wise?

TRAVIS: 15 dex save or they take 2d6 cold damage.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: Six, seven, so seven points.

MATT: Seven points? All right, that's a natural 20 for the first bodyguard, so it takes three points, right?


MATT: All right. The other bodyguard. That's a natural 18. And then for Algar, that is a 14, so he takes seven points of damage. He goes unconscious.


TRAVIS: Algar does? Yeah!

MARISHA: Fuck you!

MATT: Not that you know that.


MARISHA: But I mean it's fine, it's great.

MATT: All right, does that end your turn, Fjord?

TRAVIS: Yes-- Yeah, I'm going to use the rest of my movement to just come back out here.

MATT: Okay, step out to the point? You got it. All right, that brings us to Yasha's turn.

ASHLEY: Okay, so. I'm going to attack this water elemental where I can-- if I can see an open spot that Caduceus is not in.

MATT: Caduceus is being swirled around on the inside, his unconscious body just being kept with the current. So you're timing it for a moment and go for a swing.

TALIESIN: Also, technically wouldn't my beetles get a bonus action anyway, or?

MATT: The beetles, they just have their attack increment. They don't have the full action spectrum.

ASHLEY: Wait, do I get an extra roll?

MATT: No, it's just a straight roll.

TALIESIN: I thought that was cocked anyway, but yeah.

MATT: So the first attack was what?

ASHLEY: The first attack was 16, but it was cocked.

MATT: Oh, it was cocked? Okay.


MATT: 19 hits. So go ahead and roll damage for that one.

SAM: Oh boy. Oh boy.

LAURA: That was such a gentle roll.

TRAVIS: Like the flowers she collects.

TALIESIN: Don't even-- I'm not rolling another character.


MATT: 18 points of damage on the first strike. You carve through, you watch as a big piece of it splashes away. It's looking hurt. It's not heavy, but you're starting to see some wear and tear on the creature. You make your second attack?

ASHLEY: Does he look like he's getting loose at all?

MATT: No, it looks like he's still held in there.

ASHLEY: Oh, fuck. And I don't get to roll again, right?

MATT: No, you don't have a means for getting advantage. Remember, you have your reckless strikes.

ASHLEY: Oh yes, let me do reckless.

MATT: Is that what you wanted to do?


MATT: All right. Usually you say that at the top of the turn but it's been a while so you can do that.

ASHLEY: Okay that'll definitely hit. Yeah, I'm sorry I'm out of practice, guys.

MATT: It's all good, it's all good.

ASHLEY: And I'm on east coast time. Okay, 24.

MATT: 24 hits, yeah. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: Nice. Every little bit counts.

ASHLEY: Ooh, okay. 15.

MATT: 15. With the second carve carving through, you are now cutting away almost like it's a gelatin dessert and you're seeing the pieces sloughing off of it. It reforms back slowly but it's starting to sputter and bits of it are having a hard time keeping itself as a full form. You can see foam gathering at the edges of it. That finishes your turn? Are you going to move?

ASHLEY: Yeah, because I can't take another attack.

MATT: That's right, the beetles would have probably clambered back into the staff when you fell unconscious.

TALIESIN: Aw man, yeah.

MATT: Sorry buddy.

TALIESIN: It's okay, I was just hoping even like advantage or some shit.

ASHLEY: I'm going to back up a little bit.

MATT: You're going to back up?

ASHLEY: Well, will it get an attack of opportunity?

MATT: It will, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'll just stay where I am.

MATT: So you just continue engaged and holding it in that moment. Okay, that ends Yasha's turn. Algar is going to make a death saving throw. That's a failure.

MARISHA: Yeah, stay dead, stay dead.

LAURA: We don't want him to die.

TRAVIS: We don't?

TALIESIN: Why not?

SAM: He just was mean.

TRAVIS: I don't think he was clear on that.

TALIESIN: He's running a fucking undead--

MATT: All right, Caleb, your turn.

LIAM: So what do I do? Concentration check, death save? I don't know.

MATT: No, make a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: That is a six.

MATT: That is a six? We're going to go ahead and...say that you are in the beginning stages of drowning. So you can survive a number of rounds equal to your constitution modifier.

LIAM: So that's two?

MATT: Two rounds, yeah.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: So you have two more rounds before you drown.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: And when you drown, do you then have three death saves or--

MATT: Nope.

TRAVIS: Or are you dead? We're just two rounds in.

TALIESIN: If I'm alive, it's fine. If I'm not alive it's not okay.

LAURA: Yeah. Yeah, so don't worry.

MATT: No, yeah, at the-- if you run out of breath or are choking you survive the number of rounds equal to your constitution modifier. At the start of your next turn, you drop to zero hit points and are dying.

TALIESIN: Okay, so it's not *terrible.* It's bad.

MARISHA: And are dy*ing.* Not dead.

MATT: It gets a little weird. It gets a little weird here. Because you're stabilized. You're stabilized by the necklace.

MARISHA: Dying is not dead though.

LAURA: So can he drown and then he stabilizes and then he drowns and stabilizes?

MATT: Kind of. It gets a little weird.

LIAM: Just do whatever feels right.

LAURA: That's must be stressful.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah very.

SAM: He's being waterboarded.

MATT: It is, yeah. We'll say--

ASHLEY: It's waterboarding, basically.

MATT: Kind of. So yeah, you're stabilized.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: And you're fine. Physically.

TRAVIS: For two more rounds.

LIAM: Well, there are dragons in this world.

MATT: We'll see where it goes. We'll see where it goes in two rounds.

LIAM: Sure.

MATT: All right. That ends Caleb's turn.

LIAM: I have faith in you, Jester.

MATT: Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: It's all up to you.

LAURA: I'm going to step forward. I'm going to stay away from the water thing. I'm going to use my duplicate to go forward and touch Caduceus.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: And she's going to cast Cure Wounds at third level.


MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: So that's 3d8.

SAM: Wow!

TRAVIS: Dude, I was *sweating.*


LAURA: So that is (counting) 19 points of health.

SAM: Hey!


LAURA: And then with me, I'm going to Sacred Flame. For myself.

MATT: Well, Cure Wounds is still an action, so you can't do both in one round, unfortunately.

LAURA: Just kidding!


LAURA: I'm going to--

MATT: Spiritual Weapon is still somewhere in those tentacles but you can't see where that is.

LAURA: I'm just going to flail around with the Spiritual Weapon and hope I hit something.

MATT: Make an attack with disadvantage.

MARISHA: Can a tentacle wield the lollipop?

MATT: We'll say that probably happens there.

MARISHA: Yeah! That's fun.

ALL: (groaning)

TALIESIN: Goddamn it! It was so good.

LAURA: It's okay, it's a 15. But the other one was a natural 20.

MATT: Oh, got you.

ASHLEY: (groans)

MATT: It unfortunately does not hit anybody because of the-- the one that it strikes has a higher armor class than 15 but--

TRAVIS: I forgot something. When Algar starts his turn you take 2d6 cold damage. So he was--

LIAM: He was dead.

MARISHA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: Technically--

MATT: Well no, he's at two death saves.

TRAVIS: Yeah. He'll be at two instead of one.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: But I thought he takes down two when he's dead?

LIAM: No, that's at a melee attack.

MATT: That's a melee attack that does that.

LIAM: Yeah.


MATT: Okay. That ends Jester's turn?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: He won't even know why he was dead though. We didn't even get a chance to tell him it was from the Ruby of the Sea.

TRAVIS: I did.

SAM: Oh.

MARISHA: Don't be a fucking creep!

LAURA: I'm going to move my own person towards Caleb.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah. I'm going to move me towards Caleb.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: It's very extreme. It's *very* extreme.

MATT: Going past to get there, the water elemental does get an attack of opportunity on you.

LAURA: Oh, he does?!

MATT: He does.

LAURA: Oh, I didn't realize it was within range.

MATT: Well, now you know.

LIAM: He's a big guy.

MATT: That's going to be a 17 to hit?

LAURA: He doesn't hit me.

MATT: He doesn't hit you?

LAURA: I have a shield.

MATT: (clanging) You shrug it off from your armor and shield.

LIAM and LAURA: (clanging)

MATT: That's your full movement there.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right, does that end your turn?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That brings us to the patriots here. At the top of their turn they take how much damage?

TRAVIS: 2d6?

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: 2d6? Go ahead and roll 2d6. For both of the dwarven bodyguards.

TRAVIS: For both of the bodyguards?

LAURA: Could I have used my Hellish Rebuke? If he didn't actually hit me?

MATT: You can use your reaction to, you can, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah! I want to use my Hellish Rebuke.

MATT: Well, no, if it didn't hit you I don't think. Does it say an attack or a hit? I believe it has to be a hit, doesn't it? When you're damaged?

SAM and LAURA: Actions.

LAURA: Actions, reactions.

TRAVIS: Five points of acid damage.

MATT: Gotcha. So those left standing--

TRAVIS: Sorry, full damage. Full damage.

MATT: Just barely. Full damage.

TRAVIS: They do take-- if they do their dexterity saving throw they take half. Again. It says that if you--

MATT: Oh, dex save every turn?


MATT: A success and a fail-- no, both successes actually. Both rolled really high that round. All right, so two damage to each, actually. All right, and they can't see anything. They both haven't moved since the last thing happened, so one reaches down and you hear some rummaging. He gets dragged--

TRAVIS: Their speed is halved.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Wilhelm scream?

MATT: Yeah, no, he can't drag him out of there. It's not enough movement for him to get in so--


TRAVIS: It's a big ass sphere.

MATT: Other one's just going to move into this space here.

MARISHA: So if you move into that sphere, is it utter blackness?

MATT and TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: If I have dark vision goggles--

MATT and TRAVIS: Nope.

MARISHA: Does it help?

TRAVIS: Nope, just blind. E'rrybody blind.

TRAVIS: Rummaging around.

MATT: You hear some more rummaging. You hear a, “(grunts) What the fuck?” That's it.

LIAM: That's what I'd do.

LAURA: Yeah. Screams, ahh!

MATT: Sounds like Algar's voice.

TRAVIS: Okay. Oh! Nice.

LAURA: Sounds like what?

LIAM: Oh, fed him a potion.

MATT: His bodyguards are prepped with a few things. Nott, your turn.

SAM: Sure, I'd just like to point out that your mom said, “This guy's been bothering me a little,” and we blew him up, and attacked him with tentacles.

MATT: Yeah!

SAM: “He's just been a little annoying.”

LAURA: You defend your mom.

TALIESIN: It got bigger when we got in here, that's my feeling.

MARISHA: Don't fuck with someone's mom.

SAM: I don't know what's going on with Caleb so I will move over toward Yasha.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Check in on my boy.

MATT: He's currently facedown, floating in the water.

SAM: Ahh!


SAM: I see Jester over there and I know that she does have the ability to heal so I will-- Wow, I don't know if I trust her.

TRAVIS: He's currently face down in the water.

SAM: He's face down in *the water.*

LAURA: Come on, I heal people.

SAM: Nope, can't trust you. I will just burn all my actions to do it myself.

TRAVIS: Agency breakup.

MATT: So five--

SAM: Am I within 30 feet of Caleb?

MATT: 30? There you'll run back in the water.

SAM: No, back where I was with Yasha am I within 30 feet of him?

MATT: No you're a little further away.

SAM: Okay I'll get another ten feet closer.

MATT: That'll get you there. You can probably get him. It's 30 feet from you there.

SAM: I will use my Mage Hand to take a healing potion out of my hand and shoot it 30 feet towards him.

MATT: Mage Hand was here last.

SAM: I will cast it again using an action, next to me.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Grab my potion and take it.

MATT: Okay, I'll let that happen.

SAM: And then I will use my bonus action to use my Mage Hand to pour it into his gullet.

MATT: Sure, I'll let you do that.


LIAM: It shoots under the water.

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: You watch as his unconscious body goes--


MATT: The sheer force of the vial being jammed into his mouth. Caleb, make a strength saving throw.

LIAM: Strength saving throw. Natural 20.

MATT: You do not break any teeth.

LIAM: Thanks, Pike die.

MATT: Damn it I was hoping-- having a crystal vial jammed with that speed into your mouth there was a good chance you were going to lose a tooth or two.

LIAM: Yep, just deep-throated it.

MARISHA: Could have made you more charming.

MATT: So go ahead and roll heal for Caleb.

SAM: I roll heal, what do I roll?

MATT: Was it a basic healing potion? 2d4 plus two.

SAM: 2d4.


LIAM: Just got to relax.

SAM: Seven.

LIAM: Hey!

MATT: Heal seven hit points, there you go.

SAM: That's it.

MATT: That ends Nott's turn. Beau, you're up.

MARISHA: Oh shit! It's me. Okay.

MATT: There's just a black sphere and occasionally you see this dark, strange, grayish, slime-covered tentacles that whip out and back into the--

TRAVIS: That's mine!

MARISHA: I was going to say I look over at Fjord across the parapet and I go: Ah, what--

TRAVIS: That's me.

MARISHA: But how do I--

TRAVIS: Don't go in there.

MARISHA: What do I do though, then? Fuck! I am going to--

TRAVIS: I mean homie is right next to you.

MARISHA: I don't want to hurt him.

TRAVIS: Well, he going to hurt you.

MARISHA: I want to move away from genie homie, and then hold my action for--

MATT: Move away from him right there you mean?

MARISHA: Yeah, I want to move away from him and I'm going to hold my action until I can see preferably Aldar, but if not, one of the dwarfs.

MATT: Okay, got you.

MARISHA: Algar, not Aldar.

MATT: Okay.


MATT: Got you. Finishes your turn?

MARISHA: Holding my action.

MATT: Beau's holding that. Top of the round is the water elemental. It's going to go ahead and move over--

SAM: Get him Jester!

MATT: It's still carrying Caduceus along. You get to go ahead and make an attack of opportunity to see if it shifts.

SAM: Come on Yash.

MATT: Because you have the Sentinel feat.

ASHLEY: Ooh, ten.

MATT: Ten does not hit. Goes wide unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Reckless?

SAM: Even though you're raging?

ASHLEY: Oh, reckless! Reckless.

MATT: Does reckless last until the end of your turn or until--

TRAVIS: You can do it every turn.

MATT: Yeah but it's out of her turn; this is a reaction. Let me double check real fast.

TALIESIN: Anything not to go unconscious again.

SAM and LAURA: Xundi, Xundi, Xundi.

MATT: During this turn it doesn't work towards reactions unfortunately, so swings wide. It's going to go ahead and move in. Let's see if it means-- yeah, it gets its Whelm back. It's going to go ahead and move into Jester's space so now both Jester and Caduceus are caught inside--

LAURA: Is it attacking me?

MATT: It's going to attempt to, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

SAM: I'm glad I saved Caleb.

LAURA: That was an aggressive roll. Seven.

MATT: So you are currently restrained. You're grappled and restrained.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Both of our clerics are grappled and restrained.

SAM: Yeah, but they're alive.

TALIESIN: Not for long.

LAURA: Okay, does he do damage to me at all?

MATT: You take 13 points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: Hellish Rebuke.

MATT: So, constitution saving throw?

TRAVIS: In the belly of the beast.

LAURA: That is, yes.

MATT: Regardless, that is a-- hold on, what is the save type on that?

LAURA: Dexterity.

MATT: Dexterity, that is going to be a 13. That's 11 plus two. That's a failure, I believe, on your DC.

LAURA: No it's not.

MATT: Oh, because it's a racial ability?

LAURA: Yeah, it's a 12.

MATT: Oh yeah, so no.

TRAVIS: Ooh, by one.

MATT: Takes half damage right?

LAURA: Half damage! Okay so that's still 3d10 of cold damage

SAM: That's a lot! You could freeze it.

TRAVIS: And cold damage hurts more?

MATT: Yeah, reduces its speed by 20 feet until the end of its next turn.

LAURA: (counting) 11.

MATT: 11 points of damage.

SAM: Okay. That was, I wouldn't say hellish.

MATT: As it reaches and gets a little frozen and its movement is a little sluggish. It's looking really hurt.

LAURA: And what was it? 13 damage?

MATT: 13 points of bludgeoning damage. And because technically Caduceus is still--

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: At the top of the turn. No, because you got healed by Jester so you also take 13 points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: Okay, we're still alive.

TALIESIN: Yep, still alive.

MATT: So that's going to end--

TALIESIN: That's all I needed was just to survive the round.

MATT: The water elemental's turn. It's now Xundi's turn. Xundi is going to fly into the air right up here.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: And release another water jet through to both Beau and Fjord. I need you both to make dexterity saving throws please.

MARISHA: Oh dex saves. Me and Fjord?

MATT: You and Fjord.

SAM: This is rough.

MARISHA: Dex save.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, sorry.

SAM: Fjord just went to a dark place



MATT: You succeed, Fjord. You fail.

MARISHA: What!? I rolled one less than him?

MATT: It's DC 16.

SAM: But you love her.

MATT: So that's going to be 21 points of bludgeoning damage to you

MARISHA: How many?

MATT: 21 points. And ten points to you, Fjord. I need you to make a constitution saving throw to see if you maintain concentration.

TRAVIS: Oh, right. That's a natural 19 plus four.

MATT: You do, you succeed. And with that it's going to go ahead and continue flying, coasting around out of your range, and turning his attention towards the center column there.

TRAVIS: Do we get knocked back by the jets?

LIAM: I got knocked for failing.

MATT: No, you do. I'm getting to that point right now. So on a success you are neither pushed nor prone, but you do (launching sound).

MARISHA: Do I-- (yelling) Catch me! Aw fuck.

MATT: 20 feet back technically, so you would (crashing sound) right in the ground there. You sploosh into the water and you are prone down at the bottom again. So that ends his go. Caduceus.

SAM: Caducey, do something.

MATT: At the top of your turn, because you are still whelmed you take seven points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: And I'm out.

MATT: Staying in that water elemental is not good news.

TALIESIN: I have had nothing I could do this round.

MATT: I know. End of your turn, make a death saving throw.


LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Fjord, your turn.

TRAVIS: So would dropping Hunger of Hadar be an action?

MATT: No you just drop the spell.

TRAVIS: You just drop it.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Okay. I'm going to use my speed to enter the hallway. Five, ten, twenty before I get to the thing.

SAM: (whispering) Your animals are with you.

TRAVIS: Do you need to get out of waterfuck?


SAM: (whispering) Your animals can't breathe.

TALIESIN: So many things need to happen. No matter what we're pretty fucked right now. This is terrible.

TRAVIS: You know what? Fuck those guys! I'm going to stay right where I am, where I can still see the water thing and I'll send two Eldritch Blasts toward the water where Clay is. I don't give a fuck about Algar.

MATT: To the water elemental? Go for it. And you're not doing anything else, right?


TALIESIN: And make sure you're not going to hit Jester or I in any of those hits either. That will kill us.

MATT: Roll your attacks.

ASHLEY: I can also grab him out next turn. I don't know.

TRAVIS: Okay, because you're in it.


TRAVIS: But if I hit the wave it'll hit them.

MATT: You don't know.

TRAVIS: Let's--

MATT: Yasha hasn't had an issue with it yet.

TALIESIN: And regardless there's a genie, so.

LIAM: And what's the initiative order? It's Fjord then...

MATT: Fjord then Yasha.

TRAVIS: Let's not do that. I'm going to drop Hunger of Hadar and I'm going to send two Eldritch Blasts at both of the bodyguards.

MATT: Okay. As you drop Hunger of Hadar you can see they're both looking rather ragged and Algar is on the ground, coughing and sputtering as one of the bodyguards is pulling and tosses an empty health potion to the ground that shatters. As soon as it goes dark they both go "Huh!" and all three of them look at you. Go ahead and roll attacks for both the bodyguards.

TRAVIS: That is a 12 for the first one.

MATT: That misses that guy.

TRAVIS: And 16 on the second one.

MATT: 16 does hit him.


TALIESIN: Fucking Algar, man.

TRAVIS: That is 10 points of damage.

MATT: Falls unconscious on the ground (impact). Hits the wall, (grunts) and crumples into a pile, unconscious.

TRAVIS: Five, ten, 15, and I'll use the rest of my 30 feet to get as close as I can.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: You're going to Aldar? Algar? Al Gore?


MATT: 15, 20, 25-- You can move right up into the space right next-- looking down at Algar right now. End your turn?


MATT: Yasha, you're up.

(heavy metal guitar starts)

ASHLEY: I'm going to go up and try to stabby-stab what I can.

MATT: Go for it.

ASHLEY: Okay. (whispers) Oh my god.

SAM: Yes! Heavy metal when Yasha talks!


ASHLEY: First is 13.

MATT: 13 does not hit. That's with advantage?


MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Fuck. Second hit?

MATT: Second attack, also with advantage. It's for all your attacks now.

ASHLEY: Okay. 15?

MATT: 15 does hit.

TRAVIS: I have a question for you after her turn.

ASHLEY: Okay nice! 17.

MATT: 17 points of damage?


LAURA: Is he dead? Is he dead yet?

MATT: As you strike through with your final strike the blade carves right up the side and like cutting through a large wave it sprays up into the ceiling and restores itself. Jester and Caduceus no longer being whelmed in it. You're still unconscious, your animals are no longer drowning.


TRAVIS: Let's think about what's important here.

ASHLEY: And then-- I don't have-- Hold on one second, let me just check something really quickly. Okay that's an action, never mind. Okay, I'd like to back up, if I can.

MATT: This way?

ASHLEY: Yes, behind this pole so I'm not in range of--

MATT: There?

ASHLEY: Yeah. What's his fuck.

MATT: Finishes your turn Yasha?


TRAVIS: I have a question.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: So it says no action, when you slay a humanoid you can cause its spirit to rise as a specter that gains three temporary hit points?

MATT: Is that an action, just has you do it?

TRAVIS: It says no action.

MATT: Then yeah, you can do that.

TRAVIS: Once a long rest. So can I do that for the bodyguard that I just slayed?

MATT: Sure, yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh, hell yeah.

TRAVIS: I'll just reach forward and say: Let none pass.

MATT: You watch as this dark-- you guys don't see this-- Algar looks to his left as the body of his bodyguard which has been blown in the chest falls over and immediately bleeds out and dies. This darkened shadow begins to tug and drag out of its body. You watch as this spectral ghost that has faint barnacles and elements of dripping sea foam and thick ocean water drooling out of its jaw emerges and stands over going (sinister breathing).

ASHLEY: Oh, that's awesome!

TRAVIS: I didn't know it was going to do that.

MATT: Algar right now is-- If it wasn't so generally wet in the chamber, you could see the puddle forming under him. He is bludgeoned, beaten, slimed within an inch of his life and is looking at the specter, looking at you and is like, (fearful noises).

TRAVIS: Do not move.

MATT: For his turn, he is going to cower. He is just going to put his hands up and try and drag and put his back against the wall and is just sputtering, unable to make a word. That brings us to Caleb's turn.

LIAM: Could you clarify a rule for me, because I've never tried to do this as a new magic user, newish, but to do a bonus action first-level spell, could that be done in addition to a second? Or a third? I know there's a version of being able to cast two spells at once if one's lower than the other but I can't remember what it is.

MATT: It's a spell of first-level or higher, and a cantrip.

LIAM: And a cantrip. Okay, so forget that.

MATT: There was a feat you can take at level eight to do what you did in the last campaign.

LIAM: Not interested. So Caleb pushes up, and if we're in difficult terrain, what, can I move like five feet or something?

MATT: You can move, I'll say two squares.

LIAM: Two squares. Uh...I can't see shit.

TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Come back to the water park.

SAM: Action Park!



TALIESIN: That's good. Wow. Deep.

LIAM: I'm going to move-- I'm going to press right up behind Jester-- right here. What I'm hoping to do is to pull out the same batshit and sulphur and rub it in my hands really quick and then set my hands down on her shoulders to help me aim and careen a Fireball to hit-- there's no wall there because it's invisible, but to hit the ceiling above-- can't reach. Hit the ceiling here, so I can go bip bip bip to him, but hopefully nobody else.

MATT: To there, you mean?

LIAM: Yeah. From the ceiling down to him.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Back corner of the room.

MATT: Back corner of the room *here*, you mean?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Yeah, you can do that.

MARISHA: I turn into the fetal position to coward cover.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Fucking True Lies. (explosion)

MATT: 16 for his dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: I think I'm *at* 16. Let me just double-check. Okay, yep.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage. He takes half damage.

LIAM: (counting) Okay, so ten points of fire damage.

MATT: All right. First damage to Xundi. (explosion) As the flames subside and pull back, the evaporated water in the vicinity turns into this cloud of mist that (hisses) around. Steam fills the upper chamber for a minute. And as the steam pulls away from Xundi, barely scathed by the Fireball, (growls) just glaring right at you, Caleb.

LIAM: Also, Frumpkin is going to go five, ten, 15, 20. Like that. Underwater.

MATT: You got it. That ends your turn? Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Are we fighting this thing?

LAURA: No, I don't want to, though! I'm going to-- you're still unconscious, though--

TALIESIN: I'm still unconscious.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to cast (singsong) Cure Wounds at third level. On Caduceus.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: All right. Yeah.

MARISHA: (singsong) Live at seven p.m.!

LAURA: That's right. 18 plus four is 22 points of health.

MATT: Nice!

TALIESIN: 22 points of health.

LAURA: (singsong) Then for my bonus action I'm going to swing around with the-- oh, I can see now! But I still can't see anything that's around there.

MATT: Yep. You can't see what's around there, yeah.

LAURA: That's okay! (slurred) Just going to do it again.

MATT: So make an attack with disadvantage.


LAURA: 19!

MATT: 19 hits the other bodyguard! Go for it.

SAM: *Wa-pang!*


LAURA: 12 points of damage!

MATT: (impact) "Argh!" And you watch as two armored feet (boof) on the side. The other armored guard collapses on the other side. Algar's seeing this specter rising, this drowned wraith emerging from one bodyguard, and the other bodyguard (smack) on the ground next to him. Looks up at Fjord, just stepping over and walking towards him in the far corner.

LAURA: I'm going to move to where I'm not in a line with these people. I'm going to hop over as far as I can that way.

MATT: So that would be (counting) right there. Wading through the water as you get over. All righty. That ends your turn, Jester. Nott, you're up.

SAM: Oh boy. We're not going to-- are we going to fight this thing?

TALIESIN: What is your plan?

SAM: My plan is to not fight this thing!

LAURA: Then hide.

SAM: Where am I?

LAURA: Right there. You can stand up.

SAM: I'm going to move that way again, past over here. Around Yasha.

MATT: Algar? Algar is--

TRAVIS: No, the Szundie.

MARISHA: He's after me.


SAM: I will yell to-- what is it, Szundi?

MATT: Xundi.

SAM: Szundie? Junji? I will yell to Xundi, We didn't want to hurt you! We respect and fear water! Look, my feet won't even sink into it, I fear it so much! I bow before you!

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: Come on! Come on, Nott!

SAM: Yeah! 11!


MATT: Unmoved, your words fall upon deaf ears as a focused, semi-ethereal water-based elemental entity is steady, his eyes filled with driven command and murder. Anything else you want to do?

SAM: Bonus action hide!

LIAM: So he's thinking about it?

MATT: He's thinking about it. Hmm?

SAM: Bonus action hide!

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and curl around there. Go ahead and make your stealth check.

SAM: With advantage. 22.

MATT: 22, all right. You feel sufficiently hidden. Beau.

MARISHA: I'm going to Step of the Wind again, to get up. (panting) Double my jump.

MATT: (grunt, whoosh) There.

MARISHA: Run, run, run as much as I can, more with my bonus dash.

MATT: Your bonus dash will get you a full jump. You can get about there with your full movement with the half lost from the prone--

MARISHA: And then move again.

MATT: (counting) You're in the chamber now with Fjord. As you round the corner, you see the one recently crushed dwarf; the other has this drowned wraith pulled out of its body, this specter looming over Algar. And you see the back of Fjord standing over Algar who's (panting) on the ground, scooting away.

MARISHA: (out of breath) I made it! I'm here! Okay. What do I-- Okay, I'm going to-- I go over to Algar and I do the MMA thing and I put my knee right to his face and I pin him down.

TRAVIS: Ooh, yeah.

MATT: Okay. He's now pinned against the wall, your knee against the jaw and the chin; he's choking against the pressure.

LAURA: Bracelet!

MARISHA: And I'm going to just full-on grapple him down and hold him for my action.

LAURA: Pull his bracelet off!

MATT: Make an athletics check.

MARISHA: Oh oh! Oh, can I pull his bracelet off?


SAM and MARISHA: (meta-gaming pigeon coos)

MARISHA: Come on!

MATT: You had to remember. Make an athletics check.

MARISHA: But it was in my head! But it *was* in my head!

MATT: Make an athletics check to grapple.

MARISHA: Dammit! It was-- I thought about it *five* minutes ago and I forgot-- that's good, though. That's good. 19!

MATT: Yeah, he is fully grappled by you and shoved against the wall. That ends your go.

MARISHA: That ends my go.

MATT: It is now--

TRAVIS: You should just kill him because he's never going to work again.

MATT: Xundi's turn.

TRAVIS: What is there to live for?

MATT: Szundie...

SAM: (singsong) Xundi, Xundi, Xundi.

MATT: Yeah. It makes sense. Xundi's going to go ahead and lower down and see the hobbling Caleb making his way up through the water, and Caduceus--

TALIESIN: I'm not up yet. I'm still in the water. I haven't even started to get up yet.

MATT: Still a five-foot line, though.

TALIESIN: Okay. Even if I'm underwater?

MATT: Yeah, you're still in the space.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay.

MATT: It's not like a little tiny stream; it's a big (splash). I need you both to make dexterity saving throws. Because you are prone--

TALIESIN: I'm already prone.

MATT: No, it doesn't affect your saving throw. So yeah.

SAM: No!

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19, success!


MATT: Success! So that is-- ooh, that's a good roll.

LIAM: Half of a lot.

MATT: That's...

TRAVIS: "Ooh, that's a good roll." Not what you want to hear.

MATT: 24. So that's 12 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you.

LIAM: Caleb's out.

SAM: Oh, no.

MATT: Caleb goes out and gets pushed 20 feet back again (boosh) "Whoa!" way into the back there. Caduceus is like "Argh!" But you're still holding on at this moment. And it is going to go ahead and appear right next to you, holding this trident, now that apparates in its hand, and it's rearing back to go ahead and start.

LAURA: (screams)

MATT: All right. Caduceus. You're conscious.

TALIESIN: Okay. The first I'm going to do is stuff. Sorry, I'm just getting my shit together. I'm going to do... I'm going to, for an action even before I get up, I'm just going to cast Cure Wounds at a second level on Caleb, if I can just--

MATT: Cure Wounds is a touch, I believe.

TALIESIN: Is it a touch? Oh yeah, it is. Do I have a distance one? No, I do not.

MATT: Healing Word is the--

TALIESIN: I do! I'll do Healing Word.

MARISHA: Healing Word is the best!

TALIESIN: I'll do Healing Word at a second level.

MATT: All right, 2d4 plus your wisdom modifier.

TALIESIN: It autofills, so that's 13 points of health to you right now.

MATT: That's right! Grave clerics, man.

LAURA: Nice!

LIAM: (laughs) Oh my god! (coughs)

TALIESIN: I'm going to turn invisible as my bonus action, and I'm going to get up and start moving away from this mess.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I will just be visible my next turn.

MATT: All right. So we'll say for purposes of this right now, you get up, turn invisible--

TALIESIN: I was going to turn invisible before I get up, but yeah.

MATT: Okay, yeah. You turn invisible, get up, and then you want to move--? You can move two squares, we'll say.

TALIESIN: There. There, yeah, that'll do.

LIAM: The water's going (splash splash).

TALIESIN: Yep. But there's a lot happening. It's just a (splash) everything's like that.

MATT: Fjord.

TRAVIS: I look down at Algar and say, I'm only going to say this once. Unless you want to end up like your friend here, I'm going to need that bracelet.

MATT: He's like (choking sounds). He can't do anything. But you can see the bracelet right there on his wrist--

TRAVIS: I'm going to cut his hand off and take the bracelet.

LAURA: Don't cut his hand, just take the bracelet!

TRAVIS: No, I'll take the bracelet off.

MATT: What do you want to do?

LIAM: Yeah, what do *you* want to do?

SAM: (coos)

TRAVIS: I'm going to cut his hand off!


MATT: With being grappled, *coup de grace,* just go ahead and roll an attack just for the hell of it. With advantage.

TRAVIS: With advantage? This will be fine. 17-- that's even better. 21.

MATT: With a sparking, grinding noise, you all hear echoes as the blade carves across the stones and you watch as a splash of water, it looks almost like a water razor, just (slash) through the area and the hand just falls off onto the ground. The bracelet slips off of his wrist, and he's (muffled screams) and is now screaming against the guttural pressure placed on his throat. In that moment, you watch as Xundi-- the trident goes limp, disappears from his hand. Just gives you a look, turns around and then begins to drift up in the direction of where Algar is. And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode.

LIAM: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: Drift up towards us?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: What does he want to say?

MATT: We'll find out next week.

LAURA: Maybe he's coming to thank you! Maybe!

MATT: It seems that somehow you've freed this entity, whatever that means. We'll find out next week.

LAURA: That means that the city's going to be without electricity.

TRAVIS: Not if I put that fucking slap bracelet on!

LAURA: If you put-- oh, fuck.

MARISHA: Is that going to be you? You going to do that?

MATT: So. We'll find out next week.

MARISHA: Fjord MVP! Fjord! Yes! Yeah, you killed it this week!

TALIESIN: That was *so* stressful!

SAM: Ashley, you coming back next week?



SAM: Was she ever there, guys?

MATT: Yasha will still be there. We're hoping Ashley can Skype in as much as she can, and I'll be NPC-ing Yasha in the interim.

LAURA: Muscle girls!

MATT: Thank you guys for hanging with us. We ran a little long tonight. Ran a little long tonight, but I wanted to get as much gameplay in with Ashley as possible.

MARISHA: That was a great game!

TALIESIN: Never too much Ashley.

MATT: Yeah, well done, guys. Well done! So, on that note, let's say a big thank you to you guys for your patience, a big thank you to our fantastic sponsors for tonight: D&D Beyond and the Rook and the Raven, their awesome Kickstarter. We love you guys, we'll see you next week, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.