Critical Role Wiki

This wiki contains spoilers for the entirety of Critical Role and The Legend of Vox Machina. Proceed at your own risk!


Critical Role Wiki
Critical Role Wiki

List of Transcripts


MATT: Welcome, everyone, to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around, roll dice, and play Dungeons and Dragons. We are back after a week hiatus in which we were at San Diego Comic-Con!


MATT: We are recovering, some more than others, from Comic-Con. But we had a great time. Fantastic turnout. It was great to meet all those wonderful Critters that got out there, you guys were awesome. The panels were sufficiently ridiculous. And yeah, it was a good time had by all. If you weren't there, I know Geek and Sundry put up the panels, the videos from the panels up on the website,, so you can check them out there. Speaking of cool events, we're actually going to be at GenCon next week.

SAM: What?

MATT: I know, it's crazy! I am at a series of panels all throughout the weekend, many of them voiceover-related.

LAURA: Because you're special.

MATT: Because my manager got to them first.


MATT: We're going to have signings I believe on Friday, or is it Friday or Saturday?

LAURA: Saturday.

MATT: Saturday, we'll have signings–

MARISHA: In which we have a new poster.

LAURA: It is exclusive to GenCon, the same way we did our exclusive for New York Comic-Con poster last year.

MARISHA: Also designed by Joma, aka @ForgingMeanings on Twitter. So yeah, it's our next iteration of our box art poster.

TRAVIS: Whoa! It is sexy!

MARISHA: The advanced edition, y'all.

MATT: Yeah. I will say that the last poster was based heavily on the Underdark arc and the coming battle with K'Varn. This one has to do with a later arc in the story. So there's that coming up, we're excited about that, and then we have our Critical Role live show that Saturday at 8pm Eastern Time.

SAM: Tickets are still available online, post the link right now in the chat, someone, please.


TRAVIS: That's going to be some insane audience.

MATT: We'd love to see you guys. Partially because we don't get out to the middle eastern side of the US as often as we'd like, and this is our first time at GenCon, which has been my gaming mecca for so long. Should be a fun way to roll it in. So come check in the next chapter that'll continue after tonight's episode, at GenCon, and hope to see you there. We have our sponsor tonight for this episode of Critical Role, returning favorite in Backblaze, who previously popped in to say hello. Sam, if you want to say a few words.

SAM: Backblaze is back, everybody. I've already composed a song about it. It goes like this: (singing) Everybody, yeah. Backup your data, yeah. Upload your local files to an encrypted cloud-based backup storage system, yeah. Backblaze back, all right! (speaking) That was good!

MATT: That was a thing that happened.

SAM: Backblaze is unlimited cloud backup for Macs, PCs, for just $5 a month. You can back up your fanart there, your fanfiction, the dirty stuff, photos, videos, drawings, documents, it's everything. I actually use this service. My stuff is continually uploading to the cloud and I always know it's there for when my hard drive crashes, they'll send you a new one in the mail–

TRAVIS: They'll mail you one?

SAM: They can mail you one. It's all kinds of crazy options.

LIAM: Think of the gigs of erotica that could just exist out there.

SAM: And Critters get a fully-featured 15-day free trial at So go check it out, keep that song in the back of your mind when you do.


SAM: And they also made a little commercial for us.

LAURA: Oh yeah, I just love them so much.

MARISHA: I know, it's so great.

MATT: Well cool, thank you very much, Sam.

SAM: Do you want to hear the song again?


TRAVIS: Can we please? I'll give you some of my beef and broccoli.

LAURA: It smells really good.

MATT: Next item: for anyone who wants any of the information about our GenCon panels events and signings and such, you can go to

LAURA: That's long. It should be in the chat room.

MATT: Should be in the chat room, check it out, definitely go there. And tonight is the last night for you guys to pre-order the Critter-designed T-shirt, the Chroma Conclave shirt that you guys voted for that won our design contest.

SAM: Twice. It won it twice.

LAURA: It's beautiful.

MATT: So if you're interested in grabbing that, tonight's your last night, and you should just do it now. Soon. Do we have anything else we wish to announce, anything else creeping up?

LAURA: Travis and I are seeing Hamilton this weekend. What?

TRAVIS: It is an announcement. We're seeing Hamilton on Saturday.

LIAM: Is there any other shitty bragging anyone else would like to do?

TRAVIS: Javier Muńoz and I are going to be best friends, and then I'm going to go to dinner with George Washington. I'm going to shave his head. It's going to be awesome.

MATT: You have this all planned out.

LAURA: Yeah, we really do. He's written some fanfiction about it. You just wait.

MATT: Which you can save on your Backblaze account.


TRAVIS: It's there!

MATT: Indeed. All right then, that being the case, let us dive into the insanity of the Feywild in tonight's episode of Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I[]

MATT: Welcome back, everybody. So. Getting us into the story for this evening, the backstory of the current episode. Vox Machina, in attempting to find ways to topple and destroy the Chroma Conclave, have found their way around the world seeking items called the Vestiges of Divergence, artifacts of great power that should aid them in their attempt to take down Thordak the Cinder King, the red dragon who now sits lording over the central town of Emon at the center of Tal'Dorei. Their recent journey has brought them into the Feywild, a pseudo-parallel plane of fey magic, chaos, and all sorts of goodness in between. They've wandered through, met an old friend in Nala, the nymph of the lake. Discovered a fantastically artistically talented satyr by the name of Garmelie, and had a trip to the city of Syngorn, the elven city from Tal'Dorei which had phased into this realm for safety when the dragons of the Conclave attacked. After a fateful re-meeting with the parents of Vex and Vax, discussions were had, hats were attempted to be stolen by the leader of the city and successfully done so. The other half of agreements were pseudo-achieved.

TALIESIN: Read your contract.

MATT: And they made their way northward through the ever-shifting grasses to the outskirts of the Moonbrush, a heavy, heavy, forested wood that will lead them to their destination after that, which is the Gilded Run, a series of rivers that wrap around their final destination, the Shademirk Bog, where apparently this Vestige exists. So. Diving in where we were. The last time, you guys had managed to wander a few hours into the southern portion of the forest of the Moonbrush. Coming through, you realize that, as opposed to the rest of the Feywild you've encountered so far, which exists in a perpetual dusk, there is an actual starry sky and moonlight poking through of a full moon at portions of the canopy of this forest. Cruising ever forward, you stumbled upon what looked like some sort of a cave or cavern with a series of small stone and wooden trinkets and gifts that were left outside, as well as carved bones and rotting fruits, and you came to realize that these were probably left for the spiritual entity that lived and existed within this cavern. Upon some of these gifts being disturbed, the bear attacked, and Vex'ahlia summoned forth Trinket, her faithful companion bear. A battle took place, putting Trinket in a difficult position, but upon a brief discussion with this spirit bear, had proven himself a worthy entity, and was bestowed a boon, further solidifying the bond between Vex'ahlia and her faithful companion, Trinket. And that was where we left off.

SAM: Didn't you just get some card or something right at the end of–

LAURA: Yeah, I did.

SAM: Did we know what it was?

LAURA: Yeah, I did.

TALIESIN: It was a free $50 coupon for Lyft.

LAURA: What I'm really excited about is that card was at the live show, and it is not in my stuff right now, but I did.

MATT: She reaches for the necklace around her neck, which is suddenly not there.

LAURA: No! I do, however, still have my title.

TRAVIS: You guys are still by yourselves, right? You two?

MARISHA: Are Vex and I still separated?

MATT: No, the trees have relaxed, the canopy has reopened above the small clearing, and the rest of the party, you can now see Vex on her back on the ground, Trinket standing over her towards the cavern, and Keyleth pulled back, looking a bit shocked and confused.

MARISHA: And is Oralan still there? Is that his name?

MATT: The bear spirit? The bear spirit, upon passing through Vex and Trinket, then dissipated into a spark of naturalized druidic magic and vanished.

MARISHA: So we're alone?

MATT: You are now alone in the center of that clearing.

SAM: Oh my gods, what just happened?


LAURA: Everything's under control. We're alive.

SAM: I heard growling. Did the bear try to kill you? I mean Trinket.

LAURA: No, yeah, Trinket tried to kill me, but don't worry, everything's fine.

MARISHA: Really glad you learned how to speak with animals.

LAURA: Me too! Keyleth, can you open up the trees so our friends can get in?

MARISHA: Who? Our what? Who?

LAURA: Aren't we blocked off?

MATT: The trees have laxed and reopened.

LAURA: I was busy looking for my card. And I found it. Hi guys, my name is Vex'ahlia. Cool, yes, we're good. Can I search for that tea set that I tried to give him?

SAM: Tea set? What just happened?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Cool. Balls. Off to a good start.

TALIESIN: I'd like to take a look in the cave as well a little bit.

MATT: Okay.


MATT: Okay, yeah, it takes you a little bit, about ten minutes or so. Parts of it got scattered and lost amongst the rest of the objects left around, but you manage to reassemble your collection of tea accessories.

LAURA: Yeah, cool, it was a golden cursed tea set.

TRAVIS: Nobody else is concerned about the commotion that happened behind the trees, and we're all just like “Hi.” What happened?

LAURA: There was a big fucking bear. You might actually not want to look in that cave, because it came out of there and it was rather angry when it did.

LIAM: What it? What came out?

LAURA: A guardian spirit of the forest.

TALIESIN: Just observing the entrance to see if there's anything written, any type of language on any of the entrances or otherwise.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: As a druid would I know about guardian animal spirits?

LAURA: Yeah, would we have heard anything about this in our studies?

MATT: In your studies? No. You, make a history check.

MARISHA: That's not my strong suit, man.

MATT: We'll go with nature.

MARISHA: Oh that's better, okay. 23.


MATT: There are no markings that currently are visible around the entrance or exit of the cavern itself. It is carved, however, meaning that this cavern, whether it be natural or not, this entrance has been touched by humanoid hands and has been refined. You, Keyleth, do know that occasionally on the Material Plane there are entities, spiritual energies, that gather based on worshiping specific fey spirits and these creatures over time, these spiritual energies, begin to take the form that their worshipers give them. It takes a long time for this transition to happen, and essentially these guardian spirits, usually guarding some sort of a powerful fane, or a magical core or center, they become protector spirits of that region.

MARISHA: So because people just manifested the god as a bear, it slowly turned into a bear?

MATT: It turned into a bear. And they're not gods per se, but they're powerful entities that guard that element.

MARISHA: Spirit guardians. Okay.

TRAVIS: What's in the cave?

LAURA: What's in the cave, Keyleth?

MARISHA: Nothing now, I don't think.

LAURA: There was a spirit bear in there.

LIAM: It was a bear?

LAURA: It was a big fucking bear, yeah.

MARISHA: It was made out of stars and space stuff.

TRAVIS: Are you sure you haven't been eating mushrooms or something?

LAURA: Trinket popped out and he saved us. Trinket fucking saved us, Scanlan!

SAM: Pics or it didn't happen.


TRAVIS: That's exactly what I was thinking.

LIAM: I go over to Trinket and I surreptitiously start feeding him biscuits– you don't know– biscuits that I took from my father's house. Good boy, that's a good boy. Good job.

MATT: They're gone in a matter of moments. Licks the side of your face, leaving some saliva and crumbs.

LIAM: I will always give you that shit. Don't forget.

MARISHA: Percy, did you find anything in the cave?

TALIESIN: Nothing of consequence.

TRAVIS: How far in did you go?

TALIESIN: No, that looks dark and there was a giant cosmic bear in there.

MARISHA: Would I know if after the spirit guardian has passed, would he just go back in his cave?

MATT: You don't know that much about the entity. You've never really encountered one before, you've only heard about them.

LAURA: What about Garmelie. Would he know?

MATT: You're welcome to ask him if you want to.

LAURA: Hey, Garmelie. What do you know about this fucking bear?

MATT: He's in the very back, just watching you guys. “I know what you know. It's apparently here and people leave him little presents, and seemed pretty scary from the way you describe him, so–”

TRAVIS: Did you know he was going to be here at this cave?

MATT: “No, I would have avoided this!”

TRAVIS: Somebody insight check that little bastard.

LAURA: Yeah, I'll insight check that little bastard.

MATT: Roll insight.

TRAVIS: I would do it, but eh.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18? He seems like he's telling the truth. He's hard to read in general because he's such a strange individual, but yeah.

LAURA: I feel like he would've told us to avoid it.

MARISHA: And bears are fairly territorial. I don't know, it might be wise to stay out of the cave.

TALIESIN: I think in general it's probably best to respect anything's home on this plane of existence.

TRAVIS: Boring. Scanlan, you want to go in?

SAM: If you do.

LIAM: We're not here to go spelunking. Why are we going to go in this cave?

TRAVIS: Oh my god, we're in the Feywild, we're about to pull a bow out of a tree, and you don't want to see what's in the creepy cave.

LAURA: Maybe we should save our strength for the fucking bow in the tree.

LIAM: Plus, do you know there's a theater here?

MATT: “We're not going to the theater.”

LIAM: I understand, but just so we don't accidentally go there, where is it in relation to this tree? Is it on the way?

MATT: “I couldn't tell you. Certain things move. Shift. Change location.”

SAM: It's a touring production.

LIAM: I don't trust anyone who doesn't like the theater. What exactly is your issue with it?

MATT: “Don't worry about it. Anyway. Shall we?” And he begins marching back.

LAURA: I really don't think we should mess with this thing.

MARISHA: Look, Grog, I touched a flower and the whole realm almost collapsed, okay? I don't know.

TRAVIS: I know, I'm looking at the scandalous one over there that's always trying to get little goodies for himself.

TALIESIN: I'm not feeling this one. I don't know. What can I tell you? I normally like to gamble and I'm not feeling a gamble on this one.

TRAVIS: All right, you went (boop). I'm just saying.

TALIESIN: It's just not pretty enough. It's really not pretty enough. We've already won something here.

TRAVIS: All right, fine. I'm happy.

SAM: I'm one hundred percent behind any decision you made or make, by the way. You say “go,” we go. You say “stay,” we stay.

TRAVIS: What if we run, touch the back of the cave, run back. We don't even have to pick up anything. Just to say we did it.

MARISHA: Last time I touched something, I didn't hear the end of it. And now we're just going to let this happen?

TALIESIN: Well, yes, because we don't care if they die.

TRAVIS: What, all the bad shit already came out of it, what do you say?

SAM: By that logic, mathematically there's no more bad shit in there.

TALIESIN: Is there anybody here of reasonable intelligence who wants to stop this from happening? Just checking.

LIAM: I don't think that we should do anything. It does seem like a bit of a double standard that everybody threw poo at Keyleth for picking a flower.

TALIESIN: (deadpan) Please, whatever you do, don't do it, my god please.

TRAVIS: I know, he's got the raised eyebrows. I'm not sure if we should do it or not.

MATT: I'm just enjoying the conversation. Make your choices.

MARISHA: You do you, man. You do you, guys.

TALIESIN: If you're going to do it, have a light source.

TRAVIS: What, ten or higher we go?

SAM: Ten or higher we go.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

SAM: (laughing) We're so going.

TRAVIS: I put Scanlan on my back, and we run straight into the cave.

TALIESIN: I hand a torch.

TRAVIS: I don't want any torch. I've got darkvision!

MATT: They go darting into the cave, vanishing into the shadows and out of sight. The two of you continue for about 30, 40, 50, 60 feet. Thankfully, both of you have darkvision, so you can see pretty well in this area. You can see what are a number of alcoves that are carved into the sides of the rock here that contain extinguished candles, sometimes clusters of them, that are left in here in some sort of ceremonial way, but have just burned out or not been lit in a long time. It goes straight back; there's no curvature or natural change in the path of this cavern. You get about 100 feet into the foot of this spire-like mountain, one of many that protrude from the center of the Moonbrush, and the chamber widens and comes to an end, a circular pocket at the end, about maybe 40 feet across on each side. The floor of this room is entirely covered in unlit candles, except for in the center there is a raised stone platform that contains a singular skull made of some sort of a bluish or aquamarine crystal.

SAM: That's not what I was expecting.

TRAVIS: Jackpot.

SAM: Jackpot?

TRAVIS: We are the greatest ones in the group. Are the candles standing up or are they laying over?

MATT: They're standing up.

SAM: We can't take the skull.

MATT: It's a large skull, it's like this big, and its elongated snout–

SAM: Oh, it's an animal skull.

MATT: It's a beast-like skull.

TALIESIN: Is it a bear skull?

TRAVIS: We have not said anything to the rest of the group.

TALIESIN: Oh, I thought they were saying this out loud.

SAM: Can I discern what kind of animal skull it is?

MATT: Make a nature check.

TRAVIS: Can I do one, as well?

MATT: Sure. Yeah, you would. Yeah, as a traveling herd member, you would know cleaning creatures and stuff.

SAM: Eight.

MATT: You have no idea what creature this is. It does look bestial in nature.

LIAM: Are you dead yet?

SAM: Still alive. Everything's okay. It's all gold and silver.

TRAVIS: Yeah, there's nothing that moves in here.

MARISHA: Keyleth talks to the rest who stayed out. Okay, Percy, do you have an hourglass thing?

TALIESIN: No, but I can keep very good count, though.

MARISHA: We should play that gambling game.

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: Okay. I bet– how much gold do I have?

LAURA: How much gold do you have?

MARISHA: Three gold.

LAURA: That's it?

TALIESIN: We keep taking it from her.

MARISHA: That's true. That we have to run in after and save them.

LIAM: I don't want to take that bet.

MARISHA: You're going to take that bet?

LIAM: No, I don't want to take that bet because I agree with you.

TALIESIN: I'll take that bet. I'll take a three-gold bet.

MARISHA: Okay. That they come out safe and sound?

TALIESIN: 200 seconds.

MARISHA: 200 seconds. All right.

MATT: Meanwhile, inside the cave, the two of you now stand at the edge of this room filled with small, wax structures and wicks that are currently cold in the darkness, and the central platform holding the crystalline skull in the center.

TRAVIS: In that circular area, is there anything on the back wall? More candle sconces?

MATT: You can't make out any details. It looks like somewhat rough cavern walls, but not very smoothly carved or anything.

TRAVIS: And the skull is big, like the size of my chest?

MATT: It's probably a little bit smaller than that.

SAM: Made of gems or stone or bone?

MATT: It looks almost like it was carved and hollowed from a singular giant solid piece of opal or aquamarine. Like it's a gemmed skull in the sense that it's made from gem material.

TRAVIS: Does it look like it could have been a bear skull?

MATT: You don't know, mister nature-roll-of-12.

SAM: Oh god.


SAM: Listen, Grog. I don't think it's very valuable.

TRAVIS: No, but look at it!

SAM: It's pretty amazing.

TRAVIS: We're in a secret chamber.

SAM: This is cool. But what would we do with it? We can't trade it.

TRAVIS: I bet they worshiped it.

SAM: I bet something still worships it. And that thing could come back and be mad if we take it.

TRAVIS: Are there a crapload of footprints on the ground around us?

MATT: Make a perception check.


MATT: It's hard to tell. You've arrived, both paced in your space there, so there are plenty of footprints that you guys have left. It's hard to see if there are any more recent ones are from other creatures.

TRAVIS: Want to take a candle as a souvenir?

SAM: I wouldn't mind getting a closer look at that skull.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Well, let's do that, then.

LIAM: 100 seconds have gone by.

SAM: We can't walk over there without disturbing candles, right?

MATT: Probably not, unless you're ballet-style en pointe.

TRAVIS: I can throw you. Taking it back to the old school. That's a little careless.

SAM: I can grab it. I do have a big hand.

TRAVIS: That's like getting your hand on it right away. It's pushing the button.

SAM: What do we do? Do we just leave and come up with a good story?

TRAVIS: Ooh. Yeah.

SAM: Okay. Here, how about this: let me cut your face.


SAM: When we run out, you'll be bleeding and crying, and it'll be horrible. And we'll just make something up.

TRAVIS: Okay. (laughing) Perfect. Are you ready to go?

SAM: Yeah. Yeah, sure.

TRAVIS: We take off– wait, you've got to cut me. Wait, where are you going to cut me?

SAM: Right above the eyebrow so there's lots of blood, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, right in the middle, like the Bruce Willis cut. Okay.

MATT: Ah, Sir Bruce Willis of Emon. Dangerous life he led in history.

TRAVIS: But not too deep, right? I want to be able to still make the ladies swoon.

SAM: Okay, cool. I'll take out my– not Mythcarver.

TRAVIS: Why not? You were going to cut me with a Vestige?

LIAM: You're going to roll a 20 and decapitate him.

SAM: I take out my other longsword. My Aberration Bane longsword.

MATT: (laughing) Are you an aberration?

SAM: I'll slice him right over one of the eyebrows.

MATT: Okay. You take one point of damage, and the goliath blood doth flow aplenty.

TRAVIS: (grunting) Are you ready? Let's sell this shit. And I put him on my back and we take off running! (yelling) Oh, it's horrible!

SAM: (yelling) There are bears everywhere! Bears! Little bears, big bears!

TRAVIS: We burst out into the sunlight, and I intentionally trip and eat shit. Scanlan goes flying, boom!

SAM: There was a bear right on Grog!

TRAVIS: Oh my god! It was so vicious.

SAM: It was horrible.

LAURA: You didn't fight them at all?

TRAVIS: No, there were bodies everywhere! Children! Women! They were stapled to the ceiling! And then there were just horrible–

MARISHA: So did the bear only have one claw?

MATT: Make a deception check.

LIAM: This guy wants to go to the theater.


MATT: I'll have the rest of you roll an insight check.

MARISHA: This is the lucky one.

LIAM: Oh man, that sounds scary.

LAURA: 23.



SAM: I was in the mouth of a bear, and Grog cut the thing from asshole to lips to get me out of there. It was crazy!

LAURA: That's disgusting. So there was really nothing there?

MARISHA: I think that means you owe me three gold, Percy.

TALIESIN: (sighing) Oh, bloody hell.

SAM: Did you bet to see whether we would live or die?

TALIESIN: No, not at all.

LAURA: What did you really find in there?

SAM: Some candles.

LAURA: Yeah?

TRAVIS: And a big skull.

SAM: Big skull. A gemmed skull. Not gemmed. A gem-like skull. Not diamonds, not rubies. Opal. Something.

TRAVIS: We reached out to touch it and it cut my face.

LAURA: That sounds terrible. I wish Pike was here; she would really enjoy this story.

SAM: It was a worthless endeavor. We're sorry we went.

LIAM: Hey, how about that Chroma Conclave, eh?

TALIESIN: Wait, so the candles and skulls were there, or they weren't there?

TRAVIS: Yeah, there were a ton of candles and a skull.

SAM: Seems like a place of worship or devotion, and we didn't want to mess with it.

MARISHA: Well a lot of these spirit guardians tend to have worshipers, and a lot of times they'll bring them gifts, so that makes sense. Yeah, I probably should have told you guys that before you went in, sorry.

TRAVIS: There's only one show in a day; we don't want to miss it.

LAURA: I like how all of us sound like we've lost our voice.

MARISHA: Yeah, it sounds like we've all been through hell. Okay.

TRAVIS: Well, since I touched the skull and I cut myself, could you do me a little. (clicks tongue)

LAURA: You want me to lick it?

TRAVIS: No, don't you have a thing?

LAURA: Like healing? Like you want me to use a whole spell on this teensy-ass wuss cut?

TRAVIS: If you care about me.

LAURA: I cast Cure Wounds on his little teeny-weeny cut.

TRAVIS: Oh, that feels so much better.

SAM: Vex, what do you think, is a semi-precious gemstone skull worth going in and getting?

LAURA: I think we should remember this place is– well, it's probably going to disappear after we walk away. These things tend to move, don't they?

LIAM: We should move toward our destination.

LAURA: We need to focus on the bow. And it's really hard to say that, but I really–

TALIESIN: The whole theory of a path is you're supposed to somewhat stay on it, I imagine.

LAURA: So stay on it.

LIAM: No more stops. Unless it's for the theater, we're not stopping again.

SAM: What time is it?

MATT: From what you can tell, it looks like it's in the evening, with the moon up.

SAM: And we've been awake for a while?

MATT: Full journey here since you rested… make an intelligence check.

SAM: Natural 20, except disadvantage because I'm exhausted. 16 plus two.

MATT: Okay. After resting just outside of the Moonbrush, it's probably been three hours since you woke.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: We're good.

LAURA: Oh, we rested?

MATT: Did you guys push on when you got there?

LIAM: I was wondering the same thing.

MARISHA: I thought we camped on the outskirts.

TALIESIN: Whatever we decide right now is exactly what happened.

MARISHA: Right, so we camped and we got up, right?

TALIESIN: Yes. What? Yes, of course.

TRAVIS: I agree.

MATT: I feel like there would have camping before going straight into the Moonbrush, and I think you may have been pressed for time at the event last time to try and do that.

SAM: All I know is my mansion spell has been ticked off. So I used it at least once in the last 47 hours.

MARISHA: Yeah, I feel like we camped out right before we went into the Moonbrush.

TALIESIN: We camped out right before that.

MATT: Right, so it's been a few hours since you regained consciousness. It wouldn't have made a huge difference, per se, but you were still reading the book. You're close now, at this point.

SAM: Yeah, I'm close.

MATT: A handful of hours away from completing it.

LAURA: So I can take off this negative seven hit points that I don't even remember how I got, probably.

MATT: Actually, that you would have gotten from the large bear, so no.

LAURA: You're right.

MATT: Nice try. All right, so as you guys gather here, Garmelie goes, “All right, so duskward is– that way. Who's leading?”

TALIESIN: You are.

MATT: “Oh, I'm not leading. I'm guiding you.”

LAURA: You guide. In the front.

MATT: “I'm guiding you duskward. I've never been inside the Moonbrush! I know of things around it.”

LAURA: How were you planning to guide us through it if you don't even know how to do it?

SAM: He was just going to get us to the outskirts. That was always the plan.

MATT: “I'm getting you to your destination by helping guide you there.”

MARISHA: But if you can't guide us through the Moonbrush–

MATT: “I am guiding you through the Moonbrush, I just think somebody should take the lead.”

MARISHA: But you said you've never been here.

TALIESIN: He wants something big in the front.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm just wondering what his use will be from here on out.

LAURA: How about you and I, we can be in the front.

LIAM: She's Duchess of the Grape Hunt so she's very good to lead.

MATT: “Great, wondrous. That'll work fine.”

LAURA: Duchess of the Grape Hunt, what a wonderful title.

MARISHA: Hang on a second, Garmelie. Huddle real quick. Why don't we send him home? He could die.

TALIESIN: I'm all right with that.

MARISHA: He's not going to be any use from here on out. He's never been here.

SAM: He knows things about the Feywild that we don't know.

LAURA: The only thing I worry about is we made a deal with him.

TALIESIN: He's under contract, which means that there are places and things he might be able to help us with.

LAURA: He shook our hand.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it couldn't hurt.

TALIESIN: It's worth having him.

SAM: Also, if it turns out he's not who he says he is–

MARISHA: Which I'm starting to get a very strong feeling of.

SAM: We'll find out who he really is later.

LIAM: He's a bit of a sneak, too. The only reason we have him is because you spotted him because you're awesome.

TRAVIS: And he wanted a hat, how bad could he honestly be?

LAURA: Right? It looks very good on him.

TALIESIN: I feel like hats are almost a traditional sign of something a little iffy. Present company included, of course.

MARISHA: We got betrayed by Clarota at the 11th hour, so–

LIAM: We're so much cooler now.

SAM: All right, let's just put Vex and Vax.

LAURA: Hold my hand, dear?

MATT: “All right.” He takes your hand. Roll a survival check.

LIAM: He eats her hand.

LAURA: 17.

MATT: 17, okay. Holding your hand, you guys quietly begin to make your way through the Moonbrush.

LAURA: Eyes out for any things.

MATT: You're in your natural element, also. It's a forest.

SAM: Grog, can I ride on you?

TRAVIS: Girl, you can always ride.

SAM: Yeah, I just need to be reading.

MATT: Much like a kid in the backseat of a car on a cell phone, Scanlan is just reading through the book on the back of Grog.

MARISHA: Station wagon. Facing backwards.

LAURA: You can always ride on Trinket, too, Scanlan.

SAM: No. Grog weirdly smells better than Trinket today.

MATT: About another two hours of travel duskward, and he's keeping a finger pointed in the direction, which is difficult for you because the moon placement in the sky has not changed. The correlation as to what you normally use in the Prime Material Plane to gauge direction has no use here whatsoever. So the best that you can do is try to keep yourself facing forward and using his occasional guidance to steer back on track.

LAURA: I'm going to try to learn from him how he's gauging his surroundings and stuff.

MATT: Make an insight check.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: 21. He seems to, every single time he checks for the direction, lick his finger and then point. There's nothing more to it than that. He'll take a moment to think and look around, lick his finger, point in a direction.

MARISHA: Can I do a nature check to see if I feel a breeze at all, or is he bullshitting?

LIAM: Are they way ahead of us or are they just up ahead?


MATT: There is no breeze. There is no sound in the forest here. There is no sound of leaves clattering. He's just doing that.

MARISHA: Because it makes him seem smart.

LAURA: What does the licking do?

MATT: “Licking is how I initiate the specialization of my arcane understanding of the flow and ebb of the fey–”

LAURA: You're bullshitting.

MATT: “No! This is a technique. And it's leading us to your destination. Have a little faith. You hired me for a reason.”

LAURA: So much faith in you.

LIAM: Is he taking us to the theater right now?

LAURA: Definitely the theater.

MATT: “Not the theater!” Pressing on, I want you to make another survival check.

LAURA: Natural 20. And I don't even need to roll again.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: As we go, I just want to Druidcraft little green pebbles. No, let's do brighter– red pebbles to start leaving behind Hansel and Gretel style.

TRAVIS: Lead something right to us.

MARISHA: Little pebbles. Tiny pebbles that I can recognize.

MATT: Okay, so you're creating small stones that trail behind you as you go.

MARISHA: Every hundred feet or so.

MATT: As you guys progress forward, you start finding patches where the ground itself gets a little mushier, like either there's a nearby river or the ground itself has retained liquid more than other areas of the forest. You begin to see the faint appearance of familiar green sprouts that come through. These are mandrakes, and you manage to catch them before the rest of the party gets there, you and Garmelie, especially with your sight and knowledge of this area, you manage to guide the party around that whole field of waiting mandrake.

LAURA: What do they do? Do they just scream a lot?

MATT: You don't know. You may find out yet. Progressing forward into the next section, I need you to make another survival check.

LAURA: Oh no. 12. Oh, double-double! That's better! 25.

MATT: 25! Shit, girl. Eventually, you come to what appears to be a river that's cutting through this portion of the Moonbrush. Just on the other side of that river, you hear a faint sound of music.

MARISHA: The theater!

LAURA: (whispering) What is that?

MATT: “What is what? I don't–”

LAURA: The music, do you hear it?

MATT: “No?”

TRAVIS: Hold on, are you saying you don't hear anything right now?

MATT: Actually, right now nobody hears it except for you.

LAURA: What does it sound like?

MATT: It sounds like a soft violin, with a hint of flute, and a drum beat. It's very simple. It's very basic.

LAURA: Does it sound pleasant?

MATT: It does sound pleasant. It sounds folksy and whimsical. It's very, very faint.

LAURA: There must be people further in.

SAM: You hear music?


TALIESIN: Could be dangerous.

SAM: Can I listen?

MATT: The rest of you guys, as you gather up, you begin to hear the sound and so does Garmelie. Garmelie's like, “We really don't need to go in that direction.”

LAURA: Do you know anything about music playing randomly in the woods?

MATT: “Music can be good, it can be bad. Who knows? Dangerous music is very often a thing in places you don't understand. I would not recommend wandering into places of phantom music.”

TRAVIS: We should check it out.

SAM: I want to hear some music.

LAURA: What direction is it coming from?

MATT: You take a few steps. There is still a river, which is about 15 feet across. It's a soggy bank that leads into a lazily running river. So you have to cross that first. It looks to be a little ways duskward and to your right.

TRAVIS: Have to cross the river.

LIAM: We don't need to stick a stick into every beehive we come across.

SAM: But this is the theater.

LIAM: Is it the theater?

TALIESIN: We don't know actually know. It could be anything.

LAURA: It could also be a camp.

TALIESIN: It could be many things.

SAM: Do I recognize the music?

MATT: You don't, actually. It's not a classic ditty. The structures are familiar. You can see where the basis of a lot of bar shanties come from; a similar bouncing beat to it, but nothing that catches you as really familiar.

LAURA: (whispered) Ugh. I want to see what it is that's doing it, though.

TRAVIS: Right, but we got to cross this river to get to it.

LAURA: We have to do it regardless, yes.

MARISHA: How big is the river?

MATT: 15 feet across.

SAM: It's a stream. It's nothing.

TRAVIS: He said it's lazy, right? It's just going along, but I call bullshit 'cause we're in the Feywild.

TALIESIN: You're very clever about that.

LIAM: You said we have to get across, regardless, Garmelie?

MATT: “Well, yes, if we're heading toward your destination, we have to cross.”

MARISHA: We have to get across the river, regardless?

SAM: Can you make us a bridge, Keyleth?

MARISHA: I can control water and part the river for a second.

SAM: Well, that's even better.

LAURA: For a hot second?

MARISHA: For a hot second, yeah, I was trying to stop myself. I cast Control Water and make us a little bubble as we walk.

MATT: Okay. So you watch as the stream begins to separate–

MARISHA: I don't want to Moses this, I want to give us a little bubble that we stealthily walk under the river with the little bubble.

MATT: You guys find your way, walking down onto the bank of the river, your boots sinking into the very soft, soggy bottom of the river. You walk across, make your way to the other side. The river splashes as the bubble is no longer required. You traverse it; no issue. It's a river. The music is a little louder on this side of the bank and is off to the right side.

SAM: Should we send Vax ahead?

LIAM: I don't think it's a good idea but if we're going to check it out you and I should go ahead. Yeah, let's go.

LAURA: Garmelie? Do you want to come with us? Go invisible?

MATT: “Um. Okay?”

LAURA: I will hold your hand, don't worry dear.

MATT: “All right.” So he vanishes from sight. The two of you guys make your stealth checks.

LAURA: Oh, can I cast Pass Without a Trace on us?

MATT: If you want to.

LAURA: I'm going to do that.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: All right, so adding plus ten to your stealth rolls.

LIAM: 39.

LAURA: Whoa. 28.

MATT: All right. The rest of you are staying behind.


MATT: So you two and Garmelie make your way upwards, pushing past bushes, and the trees here in the Moonbrush, which are getting thicker and thicker the further north you go. You hear the music getting louder and louder, and it's funny. You find yourself tapping the side of your leg to it. It's a nice beat. You begin to hear laughter. Sounds like jovial laughter, like people having a good time. Just a few voices. You hear two different voices going back and forth, laughing.

LIAM: Our mother read us stories about shit like this.

LAURA: Did she?

LIAM: Yes, she did.

LAURA: I don't remember.

LIAM: Fairies. Grumpkins. I don't know. It's probably going to end badly. Do you want to go have a look?

LAURA: I just wanted to see, but if you're worried about it, we don't have to.

SAM: Oi! You lot! I just had a thought.

LIAM: Why start now?

SAM: If there's music, there could be some sort of charm effect.


SAM: Would you like me to come with and maybe counter that charm effect?

MARISHA: The bard is just now figuring this out?

LAURA: Get on up here, you stealthy fuck.

SAM: All right, I put down my book and hop off of Grog and go up there.

MARISHA: I sit down with Percy.

LAURA: Add ten to it because of Pass Without a Trace.

SAM: I don't think you cast it on me, did you?

LAURA: I cast it on everybody that's within 30 feet of me.

SAM: Am I there yet? I'm exhausted.

MATT: Yeah, it's at disadvantage.

SAM: Same. What is it?

TALIESIN: Stealth. Plus ten.

SAM: Oh! Hey, that's 18! That's not bad.

LAURA: Would have been eight?! Jesus.

MARISHA: I sit down with Percy and I say: six gold that after 200 seconds, they run out screaming again.

SAM: Can I be doing Countercharm? Can I hum a little tune? Is that how it works? I don't know how it works!

MATT: Well, it's time for you to learn how one of your abilities works here, Sam. For countercharm: as an action, you set up a performance that lasts until the end of your next turn. During that time, you and any friendly creature–

SAM: It lasts six seconds?!

MATT: Hold on. You can keep doing it every round if you want to. It doesn't say there's a limit to it.

SAM: All right. I'll keep humming.

MATT: They have to hear you to be affected by it. It has to be loud enough for them to hear you.

SAM: Sure. I'll hum loudly.

LIAM: You want to break our stealth?

MATT: It's going to happen.

SAM: Shit.

MATT: Yeah, one way or the other. You've got countercharm or keeping stealthed.

LAURA: Aw, fuck.

SAM: We'll stealth, and if it starts to feel icky, then I'll do it.

LAURA: Okay. All right. I basically just want to see what the fuck is laughing. I want to see what it is.

LIAM: If I do not see a mummer's show from this, there will be hell to pay. Now let's go.

MATT: So the three of you and Garmelie, who's invisible at this point in time, you approach what looks to be a clearing ahead of you now. The trees actually disperse a bit. You can see what appears to be a small campfire that's crackling in the center of this clearing. And the music is actually quite loud now. You see figures jaunting around this fire and holding hands and swirling for a second and then separating. Then dancing a little ways around it again.

LAURA: What kind of figures?

MATT: You have to get closer.

LAURA: Fuck! Fuck this. Fuck it. I'm not doing it.

LIAM: I will go closer.

LAURA: No. Don't fucking go closer. I get a really bad feeling. All of a sudden, I get a really bad feeling about this.

LIAM: 39 stealth.

LAURA: I'm behind a tree.

MATT: You're behind a tree. Garmelie is staying with you. What are you doing?

SAM: Can I sing to him through the earring? No, we talked about that before.

MATT: No, the effect has to be within hearing, so either you go up with him or you stay behind.

SAM: I'm going to stay behind.

MATT: Okay. So Vax, you come up to the very edge of the clearing. You vanish. You come to the very edge of the clearing. You see before you where the laughter's coming from. There is an elf, in full Verdant Guard armor of Syngorn, who is skipping and laughing around the fire, dancing alongside what appears to be a bipedal humanoid creature covered in fur with claws, a longer snout. And they are both smiling and holding each other's hands and spinning and twirling each other. And dancing around.

LAURA: They're totally charmed.

MATT: You see the music is actually coming from a floating spectral violin, flute and drum, unmanned by any creature; just slowly drifting around the clearing, around the entities that are dancing. I also need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: Ah, there it is!

LAURA: Oh, jeez! Is it a charm effect?

LIAM: Yeah, is it? Because I have advantage if it's a charm effect.

MATT: You do.

LIAM: And I'll use one Luck for the day. First Luck. All right. 17.

MATT: 17. Okay. Looking forward, you find a tapping on the side of your hip as the beat finds you. And you begin to drift out of the shadows into the center of this clearing. You look over and see as the guard extends his hand and takes yours. The beat kicks into you, a smile creeps across your face–

LAURA: I take my broom out and I start flying up and I grab Scanlan's hand and take him on the broom with me.

SAM: Where we going?

LAURA: We're going to fucking get Vax out of there.

SAM: I start singing.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Countercharm. (jazzy saxophone riff)

MATT: The gentle sounds of Careless Whisper keeping any possible invasion of your mind at bay, hopefully. You just hear Garmelie behind you going “No! What are you doing?!” echoing through the trees as you guys dart in towards the center of this camp. You–

LIAM: I'm on, man. I'm lit.

MATT: You are totally on. This is an amazing experience. You feel the color and the music surging through you, and all through this endless surge of energy inside as you begin to now join into this other dancing trio.

LIAM: Fucking werewolf guy look good.

MATT: Yeah. You guys dart into the center of this, hearing the music, hearing the laughter, watching your brother with a Joker-like smile on his face, the sheer joy pulling his expression into one of a very disturbing joy. I need both of you guys to make wisdom saving throws with advantage.

LIAM: Oh dear.

TALIESIN: Advantage versus magic.

SAM: Yeah, I already had advantage.

TALIESIN: Well, there you go.

SAM: 13.

LAURA: 23.

MATT: 23? All right. You sweep in at this point, and find that Scanlan jumps off the broom.

LAURA: No! Don't jump off the broom!

MATT: You tumble down. Make an athletics check. Acrobatics.

SAM: Save? Check? Ten. Check or save?

MATT: Check.

SAM: Ten.

MATT: Okay. You catch yourself. It wasn't a large fall. You land on your feet down on the ground with a crunch. A number of things crunch and break beneath your feet as you stand up and you look up and see as Vax, this elvish warrior knight, and a straight-up wolfman all lead you into the dance, and the four of you now begin to take each other's hands and laugh and skip around in a circle.

LAURA: I'm going to try to Pokéball Vax into my necklace.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to try to do that.

TALIESIN: I'm hearing this cacophony, and I'm slowly getting up with a sigh and moving in the direction of the campsite.

MARISHA: You might have won this bet this time, Percy.

LAURA: Not yet!

TALIESIN: Slow walk. You've got time.

MARISHA: I'm holding onto my six gold.

LAURA: You have to make a wisdom saving throw against me.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Why'd you roll twice?

LIAM: Because I have advantage against charm.

LAURA: It's not charm! It was just wisdom.

LIAM: Oh, then I rolled shit. It's just a five.

LAURA: Then he goes in the Pokéball!

MATT: You are pulled into the necklace. I'm really going to push to refer to it as a necklace.

LAURA: Sorry, necklace. The Raven's Slumber necklace.

MATT: I'm going to really push to have it be called a necklace. Vax, all of a sudden you're pulled out of this dance, and your head is clouded for a second as you find yourself in a singular darkened stone room. Four walls, a single stone throne in the center of it facing out towards a glass window the size of the other walls. It shows an image of the perspective of the necklace.

LIAM: First conscious person to go in here.

MATT: Second, technically.

MARISHA: Second to Grog.

LIAM: Grog was unconscious.

TRAVIS: No, I wasn't.

SAM: He was very close to death.

LAURA: Can I grab Scanlan?

MATT: You can.

SAM: I'm doing the Russian Bottle Dance from Fiddler on the Roof right now.

MATT: It's fantastic.

LAURA: I want to fly down and get him around the waist and pull him out.

MATT: Make an athletics check. I need you to make an acrobatics check.

SAM: Check?

MATT: Yes, so roll and add your acrobatics with disadvantage.

SAM: 11.

LAURA: Athletics?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Oh, that's strength, isn't it? Oh, sorry. 17.

MATT: 17. You manage to grab Scanlan, pull him onto the broom with you. The two other dancers immediately reach up and grab him and try to pull him back down into it. At this point, you look into their faces and you can see, while they have smiles on them, their eyes are fearful and desperate, their bodies are emaciated and exhausted. They both look like their physical bodies are on the edge of collapse from nonstop dancing for god knows how long. You glance down at the ground around you, and you can see numerous piles of broken bones and discarded armor. All order of other creatures that have befallen this spot amongst the forest and never left. They're pulling against you. We're making opposed strength checks. Go ahead and roll.

MARISHA: Come on, Vex.

LAURA: Fuck. I'm so weak, you guys.

MATT: So are they right now, though. They're heavily emaciated.

LAURA: Just a regular strength check? It's not a saving throw?

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: 11. You feel as Scanlan, who was shoving off of you instinctually and both of these bodies grabbing his legs and pulling him down off the broom, he is pulled from your grasp, hits the ground, and the three of them continue their dance, completely nonchalant. Not even paying attention to your presence at this point.

LAURA: I fly away. Minor problem. It was really a very bad idea to go towards the music. However, Scanlan's enchanted, and we should probably save him because it looks like a lot of people have also been enchanted and are stuck there forever. If you're going to come and try to save him, plug your fucking ears, because I have a feeling this music is cursed. And I start shoving shit in my ears.

TALIESIN: Keyleth, can you Druidcraft some cotton?

MARISHA: Sure. You owe me six gold.

TALIESIN: No, we're going to save them. You owe me six gold.

MARISHA: But she's running back out screaming! Three and three, we split the gold three-three. It was a draw.

TALIESIN: Vex, could you go fetch a pail of water?

MARISHA: Wait, hang on. How about this, you guys… I believe, as an elemental, I'm immune to charm effects.

LAURA: Well, then fucking get in there and help him.

SAM: You should do more than believe that. You should probably know that.

LAURA: Maybe be an elemental and shove some shit in your ears.

TRAVIS: If I got into a rage, I can't be charmed.

MARISHA: That's true!

TALIESIN: There's nothing to be done about that. It's a campsite, correct? I'm going to start wandering until at least I have a sense of the size of it.

MARISHA: You're right. I Druidcraft the cotton.

MATT: All right, cool. You guys all make your way back towards the direction of this little opening, this gap in this grove.

LAURA: I'm going to let him out of the Pokéball before we get him out!

SAM: There seems to be some distortion going on. I'm doing that thing with the wolfman where I'm miming a lasso and pulling him closer to me to dance closer.

MATT: Sure, and they're into it. It is unlike a song you've ever heard, and everything else fades away: memory of your friends all drift out of your mind. All that matters is this moment, this dance, these people and the music. Any semblance of the personality of Scanlan that existed before is not there. All you feel is the muscles tensing and relaxing from the ever-present dance. The rest of you slowly begin to approach the outside of this opening.

LIAM: She just dumped me out. It's not my call.

MATT: Are you dumping him out or not?

LAURA: I'm afraid because of the music's still playing. What if you're still charmed? I'm not going to dump him out.

MATT: She keeps him in the necklace.

TALIESIN: Just the basic features of the area.

MATT: Perception check.

TALIESIN: Come on.

LIAM: I'm in the necklace krumping right now.

TALIESIN: That would be ten.

MATT: It's hard to tell at this distance. There's a lot of the tree line at the edge of it that are blocking the shape.

TALIESIN: Vex, what did it look like?

LAURA: What did what look like?

TALIESIN: The area where they are.

LAURA: It was a camp with bones all over the ground and floating music things. Dancing.

TALIESIN: Were there tents?

LAURA: There weren't tents?


TALIESIN: Just dirt?

LAURA: Just bones.

TALIESIN: Was there a fire pit?

LAURA: Yes? Was there a fire pit? There was a single fire pit. There was a floating violin and a floating set of drums.

TALIESIN: Single fire pit, lit. Set of drums. Violin.

TRAVIS: Hey, I've got an idea. How about you race in, grab Scanlan, I'll kill the other two–

LAURA: No! Don't! They actually looked really distraught. I think they were under a spell, as well.

TRAVIS: Have you no mercy?

TALIESIN: If we can save one, we can everybody, possibly. I haven't seen it yet. I'm going to try and get a little closer to it, gently.

LAURA: I'm going to nock an arrow. And point it towards the violin and hold it there.

MATT: Okay. Percy, you creep closer. As you get closer, the music gets louder.

LAURA: But you have stuff in your ears.

TALIESIN: I have packed my ears.

MATT: You have, and as you approach, it doesn't seem to have an effect on the volume of the music.

TALIESIN: I'm backing up.

MATT: All right. Make an intelligence check. Add your intelligence modifier.

LAURA: Please roll good.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

MATT: You begin to notice the increasing volume despite the blockage in the ear pretty early on and stop your advancement before you get too close.

TALIESIN: I sit. I pull out Bad News and I start to get a good look.

SAM: Oh god, you're going to kill me?!

TALIESIN: No, I'm just going to cripple you. Calm down.

LAURA: I feel like we should aim for the instruments.

TALIESIN: The instruments are noncorporeal, I believe.

LAURA: Are they?

MATT: They're just elevated. You didn't get a good look at them.

TALIESIN: One way to find out. I'm going to take a shot at the violin.

MATT: Roll an attack.

TALIESIN: I haven't done this in so long. 17 to hit.

MATT: 17 to hit. That hits. Roll damage.

LAURA: What did you aim at?

TALIESIN: The violin.

LAURA: Can I aim at one of the other ones?

MATT: Yeah, you want to fire at the same time?

LAURA: Yeah, since he shot, I want to shoot.

MATT: Which one are you shooting at, the drums?

LAURA: What else was there?

MATT: There was the drums, the flute, and the violin.

LAURA: Drums.

MATT: Roll an attack for the drums.

LIAM: The woods are full of Irishmen.

TALIESIN: 12 points of damage.

MARISHA: Oh shit, Flogging Molly's playing the Feywild, yo!

LAURA: I rolled 16.

MATT: 16 hits, so damage?


MATT: 12. And roll damage.

LAURA: 15.

MATT: 15, okay. Scanlan, I need you to roll a wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Saving throw? Not at disadvantage? Natural 20.

MATT: You guys with your natural 20s! Okay. Roll it again.

SAM: Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Back-to-back?!

LAURA: What the what?!

MATT: That's absurd. You've been storing this shit after a week we've been gone.

MARISHA: I don't think that's happened since we played at home.

LAURA: No, it happened when I was saving him against the Briarwoods. Two natural 20s.

MARISHA: That's right!

LIAM: That was 35 episodes ago.

SAM: Wow!

MATT: All right. You take 24 points of psychic damage, Scanlan. As both of you guys fire, both of the instruments scatter for a second, and there is an echo of psychic energy that resonates throughout the entirety of that grove. The fire shakes and dissipates, almost going out. Scanlan, you can see reach up and grab the sides of his head in pain. The guard and the wolf that were dancing do the same, except they both collapse immediately on the ground. A moment passes, the instruments reform, the music continues, and Scanlan goes right back into the dance.

SAM: I throw my white man's overbite back on.

LAURA: Maybe it's time for Grog to go in.

TALIESIN: No. Round two.

LAURA: Round two, Grog runs in and grabs Scanlan, and we run out. He can't be charmed!

TRAVIS: Before you let me off the chain. There are trees, right? Who's benefitting from this charm?

TALIESIN: The instruments and the campsite.

TRAVIS: There's not somebody in a tree, hiding out?

TALIESIN: I think the campsite just might be a campsite. I want to try and douse the fire.

MARISHA: If you want to rage and go in, I can be there on standby.

TRAVIS: You're going to let me go?

LAURA: I feel like we should let Grog go.

MARISHA: I use Alter Self to shape my fist into a giant rock fist and I deck Grog to throw him into a rage.

MATT: The jaw is momentarily displaced as you pop it back into place.

MARISHA: Grog, go get our bard!

TRAVIS: I would like to rage.

MATT: You take one damage from the punch impact, and you go into a rage. Running forward at your 50 feet, you make it into the center of the camp. Currently, the music is all around you, but you don't hear it because all you see is red and Scanlan's fucking horrible white man's overbite dancing by himself at the campsite with no allies.

TRAVIS: I don't know if I've killed an elf in quite a while, so I'm going to aim my axe at the throat of the elf that's dancing.

MATT: The elf isn't dancing; both he and the werewolf are on the ground, unmoving.

TRAVIS: They didn't get back up?

MATT: No, they're fucking down.

SAM: It's just me and some instruments now. You have to come get me.

TRAVIS: Sweet, I'm just grabbing Scanlan and running straight through.

MATT: I need you guys to make opposed athletics checks. No, this would be strength.

SAM: Strength or athletics?

MATT: For this one, I initially said athletics; that's fine. They're almost equatable.

SAM: Saving or check?

MATT: Check.

SAM: Ten.


MATT: 25. You grab Scanlan. You begin to make your way out of the camp. It was 40 or 50 feet to get in and grab him.

TALIESIN: Is he starting to make his way out of the camp?

MATT: He's grabbed Scanlan and pulled Scanlan off his feet.

TALIESIN: I'm going to shoot him in the shoulder with my Retort gun.

MATT: Okay. Roll an attack.

MARISHA: Keep the rage going? Nice.

TALIESIN: Ooh, just barely. 16.

MATT: Total of 16? What's your armor class, Grog?


TALIESIN: Taking another shot. Rolling like shit. That's better. 20.

MATT: What's your armor class?


MATT: Roll damage.

TALIESIN: Thank god. It's been so long! Where are all my dice? Just a nick. 16 points of damage.

MATT: You take 16 points of piercing damage, halved, so you take eight. You feel the music begin to creep into your ears as the blood pumping in your skull begins to subside, and then (gunshot) your shoulder gets blown back. You look over and you can see the bullet wound and the blood beginning to pour out of the small piercing wound you've suffered in your shoulder. The red takes over once again.



MATT: Clutching Scanlan at your side, you go running out of the field. Because this is the secondary round now, make one more athletics check versus his athletics check.


MATT: Yeah. Scanlan's pushing away as hard as he can against your body, but you have him footballed under your arm and go charging out of the center there. As you pull out of the center of the camp, the flame's reclaimed its general spiraling height. The music keeps playing, and then as you guys rejoin the rest of the party, the music begins to fade as the instruments slowly drift down and lay still.

LAURA: Good, it stopped. We can go back out.

TALIESIN: (cackles) Really?

SAM: Am I okay?

MATT: You're all right now. Your brain comes to you. Your legs are a little sore, and you were already exhausted to begin with.

SAM: I instinctually start freaking Grog. Dry hump dancing.

TRAVIS: Like a little dog on my calf?

LAURA: Okay, so you're all right, Scanlan?

SAM: Oh, what? I was dancing. It was amazing. There were lights.

LAURA: I release my brother. He's out of Raven's Slumber.

LIAM: Did we see a play yet?

LAURA: It was the worst play I've ever seen.

TALIESIN: It's more of an intermission.

LAURA: Garmelie! Why didn't you warn us that could happen?

MATT: Garmelie, who's there by the side, comes out of his invisibility, and says, “I tried! I really tried! But you guys continually insist to go face-first in whatever I warn you about, because you don't trust me, apparently, when you hired me to be your guide!”

LAURA: We trust you, dear.

MATT: “Hopefully you've learned a lesson! God.” (sighs)

SAM: Wow. That was amazing.

TRAVIS: So the fire's out; instruments are gone. Should we loot the campfire?

LAURA: We should not go back out there.

SAM: Can we get those weapons, somehow?

MARISHA: Which weapons?

SAM: The musical weapons.

MARISHA: You want the magical enchanted instruments?

SAM: I guess we can't get them, can we?

LAURA: Best to avoid them.

TALIESIN: It's a trap. It's not actually musical instruments.

SAM: We'll flip a coin, right, Grog?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's it. Roll a d20.

SAM: Disadvantage. One.

LAURA: Let's avoid it.

MARISHA: We're good.

MATT: So what are you guys doing?

LAURA: We move towards the dusk.

TRAVIS: We're moving towards the Gilded Run.

MATT: All right. As you guys begin moving away, Garmelie scoots up a little bit and gets a look in the edge, and goes, “Well, you certainly found the happy campsite, so good job.”

TRAVIS: Oh, you told us about that earlier.

MATT: “Yes! Yes, I did.”

MARISHA: Oh, that's the happy campsite.

TALIESIN: Have you not figured that out yet?

MARISHA: I thought he was being metaphorical. I didn't know it was literal.

MATT: (sighs)

TALIESIN: This is quite literally the land of literalism at this point.

TRAVIS: We make people sigh a lot.

MATT: All right. I need you to roll a survival check with advantage, leading the group forward.

LAURA: 25.

MATT: 25. All right. You guys continue pushing duskward. Between you and Garmelie leading the way, the forest gets ever thicker. The trees get even closer together, and you feel that some areas have no more than maybe three or four feet between the tree trunks themselves. The rest is really angry, tangled roots, as well as the high-growing underbrush of the entire forest. Moon still unmoving in the sky.

TRAVIS: Are we trampling anything as we're walking?

MARISHA: Yeah, we're not stepping on mandrakes, right?

MATT: No. In fact, it's her high rolls that are keeping you guys from stepping into any of the local dangerous possibly screaming fauna.

SAM: Matt, did my Countercharm help at all?

MATT: It did.

LAURA: It gave us advantage–

SAM: But did you need it?

LAURA: No, I did, yeah.

SAM: Hey, I did it right!

LIAM: Half-elves have advantage on charm.


SAM: It didn't help?

LAURA: It didn't help.

MATT: With anybody else, though, it would've helped. It actually helped you.

SAM: I still was charmed.

MATT: You still were charmed.

LIAM: Is the footing here precarious? I know she's leading us through, but is it all viney and shitty?

MATT: It's not great. It would slow your pace if you didn't have her leading you through. It's still not the fastest pace in the world, but you're able to keep going at a decent rate.

TRAVIS: Can I jog up to Garmelie and Vex real fast? You said that there were lycans at some point, and you said they move through the trees, right?

MATT: “Yes, from what I've heard.”

TRAVIS: Would that be these trees?

MATT: “Possibly.”

TRAVIS: Right. Have you seen a lycan?

MATT: “I haven't.”

TRAVIS: Great. We should be keeping an eye on the trees.

LAURA: I was trying to.

MATT: All right, make a perception check.

LAURA: 36.

MATT: As you guys are having this conversation, you glance up, right into two yellowish eyes that are piercing from just past the leaf line of the canopy above you. As soon as you look up and see them, they immediately disappear in the darkness, and you hear a low growl and some shifting in the leaves above you.

LAURA: I think they're here.

MATT: At this point, you guys begin to hear, surrounding you in the distance, growling, sounds of shifting and movement in the trees just beyond. You hear in the distance one singular (howl) and barks echoing around you in the center of the forest. Shadows begin to dart between the trees, and a quiet moan of wind begins to break what was once silence in this forest. As you guys glance around you in the darkness, many of you having darkvision; even this low moonlight, Percy, you can still make out the shapes that are shifting. You look in your vicinity at what appear to be about six different medium to larger sized man-like humanoid creatures that step out of the trees, revealing themselves, most of which contain a wolf-like appearance, elongated snout, darker gray and brown furs, large pointy ears and gleaming angry eyes, the lips curled back revealing white teeth. You see one large tiger-like man, which sends you immediately into a recoiling moment, though larger than the rakshasa that you've experienced, and not with the signature back hands. They are unclothed, and you see barreling behind you guys, heavy footfalls as you see what looks to be a giant, bipedal bear clutching a greataxe comes (smash) through one of the tree clearings and (roars). They're not attacking. They're not advancing. They've just surrounded you.

SAM: That's not good.

TRAVIS: Well, they're here.

LIAM: I give Scanlan a little boot in the butt forward a couple of steps.

SAM: Hello. We come in peace. We mean you no harm. If we've tread into your territory, we will exit immediately, and we apologize for offending you or your gods.

MATT: Some of the wolf-men creatures look at each other. The tiger individual steps further out of the shadows and appears to have two iron-like bracers on, a longbow strapped across his back, and steps forward to meet you from beyond the tree that he was partially obscured from. “Intruders. Your terrible fate brings you within our domain. For what purpose?”

SAM: We seek passage through this marshland to what lies beyond it. We are searching for–

MARISHA: The Shademirk bog.

SAM: The Shademirk bog.

LAURA: We hope to rid the land of a cancerous tree that has been a blight for a very long time.

MATT: “I know not of this tree.”

SAM: It's a source of great evil that's been corrupting this plane and ours.

MATT: “There are many evils that corrupt this plane, small tasty thing.”

SAM: I'm not tasty.

LAURA: He's not. Many diseases.


MATT: The tiger looks about at the other werewolves who are now stepping in, and the bear, who's put the greataxe over its back now at this point, begins to step closer in. The tiger, whose eyes are now bent on you, takes another step forward, “So.”


MATT: The audio on my iPad needs some help, apparently. Time to get new music. Oh, that's an expenditure I don't need.

SAM: A new iPad for no reason?

LAURA: Something else? It's our computer?

CREW: We're going to switch out the one that we usually use.

SAM: This is so exciting.

MATT: Isn't it, though? Especially at that climactic moment, my audio goes down.

CREW: Sorry!

MATT: It's all good.

LAURA: We should probably kill it. I feel bad for everybody listening.

MATT: I'm going to kill the music, then. Okay. Bringing us back in now. Sorry about that.

LAURA: Maybe just make it come out of your iPad.

MATT: It's something. Sure, we'll go with that.

LIAM: Works for us.

LAURA: That's how we did it at home, man!

TALIESIN: This is the best simulation of our old home game that I've had.

MATT: That's enough to give you the feel. The tiger takes that step forward, leans in to you, and goes, “To parley or continue our hunt?” Looks at the other wolves. “Call Ukurat.” And roars out to the air. The other wolves all together begin to howl in unison. (howls) Loudly into the sky. (howls)

LAURA: What's Trinket doing?

MATT: Trinket's backed up with you guys, growling and facing off with the bear-like entity that's keeping eyes on Trinket but is still (growling) up into the air of the forest.


LAURA: Oh. Ukurat. Isn't that the big ghost bear?

MARISHA: No, that was Oralan. Ukurat's the lycan leader.

MATT: A few moments pass as the howling subsides and they all stare intently, keeping a bestial cage around you in the center of this forest. It's at that point you begin to hear (footfalls) what sounds like a series of heavy footfalls at a speed, and the sound of trees thrashed as various hanging vines and branches are snapped or passed at such a speed. There is a mass of black shadow that comes emerging from the brush, slamming into the side of one of the trees near you with a clattering (crash). You see it pressed up against the side before leaping off, rebounding, landing right beside you guys, separating your group, giving Scanlan, Vex, Trinket, and Garmelie pushed to one side and the rest of you to the other. You now see this giant, feral beast, humanoid in shape once it begins to stand, but larger than anything you've seen before, as the large wolf-man creature stands at full height, about 12, 13 feet tall, its shoulders wider than yours, Grog. A series of various jeweled necklaces adorn its throat, and you can see what appears to be a makeshift leather belt and armored leg piece that sit upon it. Rings glimmer around its fingers, and you can see a series of scars drawn across one side of its cheek that go down to its throat. It looks about at the rest of you, separated, glancing at each side. “So. You seek passage, yes?”

SAM: Yes, that's right.

MATT: “There is a toll to pay. A favor to the Fendir is granted. A favor in kind.”

SAM: A favor to you?

MARISHA: The Fendir, is that what you said?

MATT: “We are the Fendir.”

SAM: Well, we would be happy to help if we can. We are here to do good, anyway. We've already done some. We conquered the devastating campsite of Soradun the Happy, and we're up to doing more tasks like that, if it would help.

MATT: The wolf creature that you expect, at this point, is the Lord Ukurat that you heard mentioned before by both Garmelie and the wolf and beast kin, leans down towards you, making you uncomfortable, as his head is larger than your entire body, Scanlan. The lips curl back, and you can see the glistening white teeth, and drool slowly dripping off the edge of its curled purple-black lips. (sniffs) “We will not eat this day if you agree to do us this favor.”

LAURA: Name it.

MATT: “The pixie Wishers carry a madness, one that pits them against all who wander these woods. They prey upon us Fendir, take our forms to desecrate their twisted garden and decorate their lives. We lose family. We, the Fendir, and I, lord of this brood, ask you to take into this home, find these Wishers, destroy a relic of their people. In particular, a circle of crystal stones they keep. It sits among their homes, tended by their mystic, Iotha. She wields the power to subjugate us all. Do you agree to these terms, or does our hunt continue?”

LAURA: They sound really powerful, these pixies.

SAM: If you are not powerful enough to conquer them, how would we have a chance?

MATT: “If you do not think you have a chance, perhaps you're best suited as our meal for the night.”

LAURA: No, we have a very good chance of defeating them. We are quite powerful. Just wondering why you haven't done it before.

MATT: “We have fallen to their magic. We are not tested and tempered against such trickster cunning creatures. But if you speak like you've passed the campsite unscathed, perhaps you have skills we lack.”

SAM: That is true. We probably do. We made quick work of the camp. It was a proud moment for us, one that will be storied for generations.

MARISHA: This mystic– Iotha, you said– she has the power to subjugate your kind?

MATT: “Yes.”

MARISHA: Does she have the power to create more lycans?

MATT: “She sees our kind to be exterminated.”

SAM: Where can we find this site?

MATT: “Follow the lights.”

SAM: The lights?

MATT: The small, glittering fey lights that you've seen throughout many of the darker forested areas of the Feywild since you arrived, now taking a look, they all slowly, gently drift in a singular direction before touching the ground and dissipating. Even though the wind that blew through with their arrival has faded, they all still drift in a direction as if they're being called a specific way.

LAURA: Cool. Hey, question. Should we help you with this terrible problem you've been facing, do you think there's any way you would want to help us when we try to take out this cancerous tree? It needs to be taken care of. Teamwork?

MATT: “Cancerous tree?”

LAURA: It's really bad. Whole other area for you to dominate. It's quite wonderful.

MARISHA: The Shademirk bog.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: Goddamn it! Wait, it's my favored terrain.

MATT: Doesn't work for every single thing you do. The forest isn't going to help you with your persuasion check, sorry.

LAURA: Natural one.

MATT: The wolf leans forward, and the mouth comes right up to you for a second. The nose almost nudges you, and you instinctually stand back as it (snorts). “This is not part of our parley. We grant you passage and to take what you wish off their pixie corpses. That is the deal. Take it, or we hunt.”

SAM: I think we'll take the deal. Happy to enter into this contract with you. No problem.

MARISHA: We're just stacking contracts.

SAM: Is there a timetable to this? Do we have to do this now? Can we do this on the way out of the Feywild?

MATT: “There is no out until this agreement is completed.”

SAM: Do we have your word that we have completely safe passage? We don't have to worry about any other sort of monsters getting us in our sleep on the way there?

MATT: “They and us rule this brush. Against each other, nothing will take your path away. We can guide you if need be.”

MARISHA: If we take out the pixies, what is the future of your tribe?

MATT: “The brush will be ours. We will no longer be taken, our people left there to wither and waste away to the elements.”

MARISHA: Just a question. Do you guys hunt the pixies? Because I'm getting the sense that this is a weird turf war, and I just want to know the full story before we enter into this contract.

MATT: The bear, who's closer to you, takes a step forward, and you feel the ground shake behind you.

TRAVIS: I match his step.

MATT: Match his step, okay. Grog steps forward. The other of the wolves nearby see you, and they all (snarl) crouch down, snarling in your direction. Lord Ukurat puts his hands out. “Calm, my brethren. We wish to live in peace amongst the woods, away from those who would hunt us, outside and in.”

MARISHA: Why don't you guys just agree? You guys take this half of the forest, and they'll take the other? I can even help you guys build a big wall, if you want, not to get oddly political. Maybe death is not the answer here?

MATT: One of the wolves nearby speaks up, “She speaks like she knows this place.” And you hear some laughter. The wolf's head, which is turned to you, Lord Ukurat turns to you.

MARISHA: They think I'm funny.

SAM: How many total are there?

MATT: There were seven, including the 12-foot-tall one.

SAM: We can probably take them.

MARISHA: I'm not trying to take sides here. Just from a third party looking in. Trying to understand both perspectives, maybe.

MATT: “You have only heard one perspective.”

MARISHA: Exactly!

MATT: “Then go speak with them, if you'd like. Learn what we have learned. Perhaps that will help guide your choice.”

MARISHA: Not a bad idea.

TALIESIN: I find that very reasonable.

LAURA: That is very agreeable.

MATT: “We will be watching.” At this point, Lord Ukurat crouches down, leaps up into the canopy of the forest, and you hear (impacts) as he leaps off in the distance. The other wolves (howl) follow suit and dart off in separate directions, and you hear as the bear backs away, Trinket growls back at him.

LAURA: Be nice to him, Trinket!

MATT: (bear growl) The bear goes, (grunt). Trinket goes (grunt). Broseph bear snarls. You guys are left to the quiet of the forest now.

SAM: We could probably kill them all. I'm just throwing that out there.

TRAVIS: I'm super restless.

LIAM: I don't really want to fight a group of werebeasts, but we have much better chances, if we're going to pick a side, against them with their brute strength, than against fucking pixies. I am charmed at the drop of a hat!

TRAVIS: Have you fought a werewolf before? Have you fought a lycan? Is it just brute strength?

LIAM: Well, they are cursed. They seem very unhappy. They have to sit in rolling chairs at all times.

TALIESIN: We literally have no idea what we're up against in any direction.

LIAM: There are scary fairy stories, though, growing up?

MATT: You've heard about people that transform, but any specifics about their capabilities–

MARISHA: I have a few spells that are good against people who can transform, but we're also in the Feywild, so I don't know.

TALIESIN: Cute and dainty also means scary and dangerous.

LIAM: We really bollocksed up the musical instruments scenario, and I don't feel like the pixies are going to be much better than that.

TALIESIN: I feel like that went rather well.

LAURA: All things considered.

TALIESIN: Took less than three tries to figure that out.

LIAM: Yeah, we ran in for 30 seconds, shit the bed, and then got the hell out. We didn't try to end them. We didn't finish anything.

TRAVIS: It also bears remarking that Garmelie said we're not supposed to side with either, right?

LAURA: Right, Garmelie?

MATT: “It's really up to you guys. I don't know if you have much of a choice right now.”

LIAM: Can't we just thread the needle and play them both?

MARISHA: Until we get out of here. We're talking about exterminating the group of fairies–

TRAVIS: No, we're destroying one of their relics.

TALIESIN: Just have to desecrate a relic.

MARISHA: You don't think they're going to put up a massive fight if we go in and start kicking their relics?

TALIESIN: I feel like we've desecrated relics before.

LAURA: Scanlan is really charming.

SAM: I could probably convince them to destroy it themselves.

TALIESIN: How's that book going?

MARISHA: You genuinely think we can destroy the relics without harming anyone?

LAURA: No, but I'd like to try.

TALIESIN: But I also will admit, I kind of want to see the pixies.

MARISHA: I want to see the pixies, too.

LIAM: You also wanted to hear the music. That didn't go well. We've got a bow to get you.

TRAVIS: Let's just go over there, do a little recon, and then we'll make up our minds.

LIAM: We are idiots.

TALIESIN: Yes, we are.

SAM: I'm more inclined to turn around and fight these lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Because pixies, who knows?

LAURA: Honestly, they didn't seem that bad. I feel terrible killing them for no reason.

MARISHA: Maybe we can talk to the pixies about–

TALIESIN: I think you would look fetching in a new lined winter jacket.

MARISHA: Maybe they can work with us.

SAM: I'm okay with at least going to do some recon.

TRAVIS: Go see the pixies. We send in Garmelie. If he dies, then we make a choice. Do you have a revision to that plan?

MATT: “I would think that would be the last portion of the plan. Everything else goes forward, and then, all else fails, perhaps Garmelie would have a hard time.”

MARISHA: Garmelie. Go, Percy.

TALIESIN: You're our guide. Guide us. We're supposed to go where we're going, so you're supposed to get us there. How do we get there?

LAURA: Follow the lights.

MATT: “You know exactly how to go there. Follow the lights.”

TRAVIS: Wow, you're so brave.

MARISHA: We brought you here.

TALIESIN: Garmelie, I'm so curious as to what happens if you're going to renege on our contract.

LAURA: Would you want to draw some of the pixies if we see them?

MATT: “If they let me.”

LAURA: You can hide behind Grog, and you draw the pixies.

MATT: “I can maybe do that.”

TRAVIS: They're going to be pixies with giant dickbutts everywhere.

MARISHA: Garmelie, is there anything in particular about pixies we desperately need to be aware of?

MATT: “They're tiny. They're frail, mostly mischievous.”

TRAVIS: How tiny?

MATT: He makes a motion with his hands about like that.

LAURA: They're really that small? Are they super strong?

MATT: “No, they're quite the opposite, actually.”

SAM: But there are lots of them, and they're fast and invisible.

MATT: “They are fairly magical entities. Depending on which type of pixie they are, their dispositions can shift dramatically. The Feywild entities that live and exist in certain areas tend to adapt to those areas. There are creatures of all emotional and moral backgrounds and interests. It's hard to say.”

TALIESIN: I'll also say, if we are going to attack the were-creatures, it would be nice to have a little help, maybe.

SAM: Help? From whom?

TALIESIN: From the pixies. If we explain our situation, we can make a decision and either help the were-creatures or–

LAURA: Maybe the pixies can help us take out the cancerous tree and all the things around it.

TRAVIS: Well, let's go get eyes on them, shall we?

MARISHA: Let's go.

MATT: All right, make a survival check. With advantage because you're in a forest.

LAURA: I'm in a forest.

SAM: Oh, just her?

MATT: Just her, yeah.

LAURA: That's better. 22.

MATT: 22. You guys begin to move slowly forward as you ascertain a direction from the occasional small flutter of fey light that drifts at a slight curvature in its descent, making your way in the direction where, supposedly, the nexus of this pixie tribe should exist. We're going to go ahead and take a break. We will see you guys back here in a few minutes to pick up where we left off, wandering towards the pixie home. We'll see you guys in a minute.



Part II[]

MATT: Welcome back. As we come into the event, Vox Machina is slowly crawling through the Moonbrush towards wherever these gentle fey lights drift, leading them, hopefully, to some sort of home space or residence of the local Wishers pixie population. You guys, pushing on for about another two and half, three hours, following the lights.

SAM: Reading.

LAURA: How many hours do you have left of reading?

SAM: After two and half more, I have about four and a half.

MATT: So close. You're on the cusp of your week end, too. You guys make your way– hoping that the music now is fixed. We shall see. It's a cable issue, not an iPad issue, it looks like. As you guys push on, you eventually see a cluster of small glowing lights in the distance, Vex. Garmelie immediately goes, “I'm going to hide now,” and he goes invisible.

LAURA: Garmelie, won't they see you?

MATT: “That's possible. Should I just stay back?”

LAURA: You should probably just hold onto Grog. If he runs in, just trail behind him.

MATT: “Okay,” and you feel the little hand grab the back of your belt again, a similar situation. You hear (groans). You guys now see what appears to be a thicket in the center of this portion of the forest. Maybe 20 or so natural-looking homes forming a small glowing community, almost like they were grown out of the ground of the local trees. The bark itself protrudes from the side of a tree and creates a dome-like abode that has carved little windows in it and a glowing interior. It's a very pretty fairy community out there, right in there in the center. All of the fey lights in the forest are slowly drifting in towards the center of this community. At a hundred-foot distance, you can just make out the faintest details.

LAURA: They're teeny, though? It's teeny little houses?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Like doghouse size?

MATT: Each home or abode is about the size of a basketball.

SAM: Are they made out of toadstools?

MATT: It's hard to see from this distance. You can just see the general size of the homes.

MARISHA: This is so cute.

LIAM: And Vex is the only one that can see it.

MATT: She's the furthest ahead, yes.

TRAVIS: I feel like “cute” is the last word we should use for this.

TALIESIN: It will be the last word you ever say.

LAURA: Definitely pixie city is up ahead.

TRAVIS: Should we look for perimeter alarms or traps?

LAURA: Yes, I look for that. Good idea, Grog! Good thinking.

LIAM: I'm going to go stealth, just because.

LAURA: Me, too.

MATT: All right. Make a stealth check, guys.

TRAVIS: All right, Pass Without a Trace?

LAURA: That's not still active anymore?

TRAVIS: That was awful.

SAM: We're doing stealth checks?

MATT: Of those who wish to move forward towards the village.

MARISHA: Oh, all of us? Sure.


TALIESIN: Natural 20.


LIAM: 25.

SAM: Are we adding plus ten?

LAURA: 27.

SAM: Five.


MATT: And as you guys creep forward, still humming the essence of the tune you guys managed to escape earlier, Scanlan's enjoying the echoes of his countercharm that he so well presented earlier, you shush him as you slowly creep closer to the outskirts of this pixie community. As you get closer– when you envision a city, or a cluster of abodes like this, it's a large section, but for the scale of this it's no more than maybe 25 feet across and there are maybe two dozen homes throughout the entirety of this space. You can see just on the edge, looking inside, what appears to be a circle of about ten slightly glowing quartz-like stones, arranged in a perfect circle in the center of the community, and most of the fey lights are drawn towards it and cluster and rest at the base of the stones before fading away. You can also see, throughout this community, arranged like decorative statues, three stone, human-sized wolf-men type creatures that are locked in place, their claws up like this. Some look like they're fleeing, over a shoulder. They're all locked in a stone position and currently now have draped over them small vines and flowers, and they now rest amongst the community as some sort of a landmark.

LIAM: All right, that is kind of fucked up.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: You can see at this distance now a few moving, slightly brighter points of glowing light fluttering by and going from one little home to another. One over and into the circle flutters back. You guys are still at a good 40, 50 feet from the outside of this clearing.

LAURA: And we can't spot any pixies near us at all?

MATT: Not directly near you, no.

TRAVIS: I hate spiders.

SAM: I don't want to go near this place. We should either talk to them, or run away right now.

TRAVIS: I like the latter of those two.

LIAM: What was the goal here? To grab part of the circle?

SAM: To break a piece of the circle.

MARISHA: To kick over their rocks.

TRAVIS: Did they say to bring one back? Or to break it? The relic.

MATT: They said desecrate.

MARISHA: They said it was the source of their power, right?

LIAM: Desecrate it?

TRAVIS: You ever stepped on an anthill, right? It gets real nasty, real fast.

LIAM: Is it an open area over the village?

MATT: It is a clearing of trees about 25, 30 feet across, and along the interior of the trees are where a lot of the homes are grown out of, or out of the ground almost like strange tree trunk roots up into a dome-like natural home, and even they're arranged in a smaller circle around the central stone circle that is the middle.

TRAVIS: Like forest wasps.

LIAM: It all depends on the definition of desecrate. I could fly you 500 feet in the air, and you could shit upon that circle. It just depends if that is desecration in the eyes of the fey.

TALIESIN: I will say that from what I gather of this realm, it probably isn't enough.

TRAVIS: What if we asteroid-dropped Keyleth from 500 feet?

MARISHA: That was very fun.

LAURA: That would take out the lot of them?

MARISHA: But it would take out the lot of them, right?

LAURA: It seems so drastic.

LIAM: The fairies or the fairy circle? Wouldn't it just destroy the circle?

MARISHA: How wide is the entire–

MATT: About 25, 30 feet for the entirety of the community. The circle itself is five to ten feet wide. It's not a very large circle at all.

TRAVIS: You'd be in your stone elemental form, it'd be no problem for you.

MARISHA: It'd be no problem for me.

SAM: I don't think she would ever get close to it. They have some sort of shield up.

TALIESIN: It'd be kicking the hornet's nest, certainly.

SAM: Tell me this, Vex, Vax. People with high perception.

LAURA: He's Vex, I'm Vax.

SAM: Where are the animal men? Are they watching us right now?

MATT: Perception check.

LAURA: That's double because of favored terrain. What is that, 20? No, 33.

MATT: 33. Doing a pretty intense scan of the vicinity of the forest around you, you see no sign of any of the previous pack that you encountered.

SAM: I think they're out there somewhere.

TALIESIN: I think they're probably hanging back a bit. I don't know if they'd want to get this close.

MARISHA: I'm sure they have other means of spying on us.

TRAVIS: I vote we don't fuck with the pixies. Never thought I'd say that.

MARISHA: Here's what I have at my disposal. A, I can shapeshift into a little tiny spider and go in there–

LAURA: Can you shapeshift into a pixie?

MARISHA: No, unfortunately. Beasts. Particular.

SAM: Can't you go underground and pop up?

MARISHA: Yeah. Once again, probably destroying their entire village, but yeah.

TALIESIN: The two of us could snipe something out.

MARISHA: But I could go in like a spider and be a spider. I also happened to bring Hallucinatory Terrain today, so depending on how smart we think the lycans are, maybe I can make it look like we destroyed it.

LIAM: How long does that last?

MARISHA: 24 hours. Let me double check before I make promises.

LAURA: I like this.

LIAM: Just to give us a day's head start.

SAM: What we could do, Grog and I could run back, I could cut him over the eye, and say: It was horrible. It was quite a fight, but we won.

LAURA: Do we need to let the pixies know that we're going to do this?

MARISHA: Maybe Scanlan, do you have something that could– I don't want to waste a spell and then find out that they have some sort of magical barrier enchantment that it can't stay up there.

TRAVIS: What, you'd waste Hallucinatory Terrain?


TRAVIS: When else are you going to use that?

MARISHA: Well, I'm burning a spell slot.

SAM: If they block it with their magical little crystals all over the place, then they'll also know we're here and they will attack us.

MARISHA: Yes, 24 hours for a 150-foot cube, I make a terrain look, sound, and smell like some sort of other terrain.

LAURA: I'm just worried that if you do it then the lycans are going to bust it, and then they just go to battle amongst themselves.

TALIESIN: Isn't that brilliant?

LAURA: This is actually really smart.

SAM: Wait, can you still tree-bamf us out of harm's way if we needed to?

LAURA: You've got the mansion.

SAM: I don't have the mansion.

TALIESIN: He's already burned the mansion.

SAM: I haven't slept in days.

MARISHA: The only thing I have that can get us out fast is Plane Shift, which will get us out of the Feywild, but I brought that just in case.

TRAVIS: Third option, we say fuck the lycans, fuck the pixies, and we just keep going.

LAURA: What if you do the Hallucinatory Terrain, and we just leave?

MARISHA: Yeah, we could do the Hallucinatory Terrain, and if it fails, then I guess we won't be in any worse situation.

TALIESIN: I'm a big fan of Hallucinatory Terrain.

SAM: If we do Hallucinatory Terrain and it fails, the pixies will straight-up attack us.

LAURA: How do you know?

MARISHA: Well, it won't hurt them. It just makes it look different.

SAM: Everything here has attacked us.

TRAVIS: All in favor of Hallucinatory Terrain, raise your hand.

SAM: We have to get the animal men here to see it, or else it isn't worth it.

LAURA: We cast it and we create a ruckus–

SAM: I will buy into this idea if we have a plan for when the pixies are about to literally attack us five minutes from now.

MARISHA: Well, we can do Hallucinatory Terrain, and if we run into the lycans, all we have to do is say we did it.

LAURA: Do Hallucinatory Terrain. Garmelie, which direction should we run if we're running towards where we're supposed to be going?

MATT: Garmelie has watched this thing with eyes wide, and he's like, “That way.”

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Weren't you dropping little green rocks?

MARISHA: I was dropping little green rocks.

TRAVIS: So we can find our way back to the lycans, right?


TALIESIN: That's of course assuming that the little green rocks work here.

MARISHA: They were red. They were red rocks.

TALIESIN: There's an awful lot of reasons why the little red rocks wouldn't work.

TRAVIS: Okay. Let's do it.

LAURA: We take off running–

SAM: Wait, where are we running?

LAURA: Towards the bog.

SAM: Towards the what?

LIAM: We think towards the bog.

SAM: We're leaving Kiki and just running?

MARISHA: No, I can do this at a range of 300 feet, so let's back up 300 feet.

LAURA: You do it, we act like we did something, we start running.

MARISHA: Hallucinatory Terrain, are we doing this? Are we ready? Are we doing this? I did it, bamf.

MATT: So you stand back a bit at the outskirts. What kind of hallucinatory terrain are you creating?

MARISHA: I want it to look like the fairy terrain, but their little huts are on fire like they've been raided, and I want the circle of rocks to be obliterated, and all their statues to be knocked over and it smells like fire and shit and pixie blood. Like Grog said.

MATT: Grasping at what you imagine pixie blood would smell like.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm sure it smells delightful. Herbal.

MATT: So as Keyleth, you finish concentrating, you guys watch as there's a shimmer of magical energy, and now you see where once the beautiful glowing fairy light of the pixie abodes now look burnt to a cinder. You can see embers slowly rising off of them as the stone structures are now broken across the ground.

LIAM: The horror, the horror.

SAM: The pixies see it too, though.

MARISHA: They can see it, but they can also be like: oh, this isn't real.

LIAM: I grab Keyleth by the wrist and start running away from the village.

TRAVIS: Are we running back to the lycans or to the Shademirk?

LAURA: Towards the Shademirk.

TRAVIS: I've got Garmelie.

LIAM: Go, run faun, run.

LAURA: But keep on the lookout for mandrakes.

MARISHA: And werewolves.

MATT: Okay, so I want everyone to make a perception check.

SAM: Strong eight.

TALIESIN: Natural one.

LIAM: Natural one.



LAURA: No! 31.

TRAVIS: Natural 19.

MATT: What are you looking out for? Which direction are you looking?

LAURA: I'm looking towards where we're going.

MATT: Okay, so you're going with Garmelie, heading in the direction duskward. Where are you looking, Keyleth?

MARISHA: I'm looking out for werewolves, for lycans.

MATT: Okay. Where are you looking?

TRAVIS: I'm looking for lycans, too. I'm just being honest!

MATT: All right, so you guys continue pushing forward–

LIAM: I'm shouting: The way is clear!

MATT: All right, you guys run, and run, and run, and you're pushing through brush and pushing over elements and heavy hard portions of the floor. I need everyone to roll– this is going to be an athletics check for the keeping up the endurance and the speed. This is not easy terrain you continue to push through.

MARISHA: Athletics?

LAURA: I've got land stride, so I don't get slowed by any hard terrain.

MATT: You're fine. You don't need to roll.




SAM: I rolled twice, because of disadvantage. Both were ones.

MATT: You've hit the spectrum today.

LIAM: Well, I rolled a one, but then I used Luck and I rolled a 20.

MATT: You guys, calm down on the extremes! There are other numbers between those two, you realize, on the dice.

SAM: I'm tired from reading.

MATT: You're not reading during this run. But as you guys are charging forward, Scanlan goes face-first over a heavy root into the ground. You guys have to double back, grab him, keep going. You push on, and you push on, and you push on for what seems like another 30 minutes to an hour. Your pace starts to slow due to general exhaustion and you're unable to keep that speed and that level of physical exertion for that long. Most of you can't. Grog is happy to go forever. Constitution of 20; he's good to go.

LIAM: He's basically good against anything except one of the ancient dragons.

MATT: There's a few things he's not good against. Tiny brain with arms and legs, not so good.

TRAVIS: Fuck that little bastard.

MATT: That was fun. Eventually, you begin to see a thinning of the trees, like the forest is coming to an end. You're beginning to hit the edge of the duskward side of the Moonbrush.

LAURA: Are we going the right direction, Garmelie?

MATT: “As far as I know! Yes, we're going the right way!”

MARISHA: You're taking us through the bog?

MATT: “Through the Moonbrush. That's what we're going through.”

MARISHA: Still to the bog.

MATT: “Of course! Where else would I want to go?!” He's holding his hat and rushing along.

LIAM: You want to go to the theater.

MATT: “No theater!”

LIAM: What's your problem with the arts, man?

MATT: You guys, at this point in time, come to the final tree line, Vex and Vax and Garmelie helming at the front of the pace before all three of you slam into something extremely hard.

MARISHA: Oh fuck.

LAURA: What is it?

LIAM: Did it feel like a theater?

MATT: No, it felt like a wall.

LIAM: The wall of a theater?

LAURA: Seriously. A wall?

MATT: You stand back up and you guys catch up, and same thing: you come up to the edge between where the trees that hit the perimeter of the forest are, and there's a barrier, an invisible barrier right there that's preventing you from crossing.

LIAM: What is this thing, Garmelie?

MATT: “I don't know! I haven't encountered this.”

LIAM: Never ever?

MATT: “I don't walk into the middle of dangerous forests for fun!”

TALIESIN: I don't think we can leave until we take care of this.

TRAVIS: Wait. You can go invisible. Is it magic? Can you tell?

MATT: “I can have a look at it.”

TRAVIS: Yeah, have a look.

MATT: He comes up and looks over it for a bit. “To be honest, this is a large-scale enchantment. This is some sort of– this is very powerful, very old magic.”

MARISHA: Fucking old magic.

MATT: He turns around, looking at you guys. “Hi.”


MATT: Looking past you.

LAURA: Oh shit.

MATT: As you guys turn around and see behind you what looks to be, shoulder to shoulder, a mass of furred, standing, snarling, beast-like humanoids. Behind them, landing and standing up to his full height, his snout having to dip beneath the brush under the nearest trees.

LIAM: See what we did to those pixies? Wrecked.

LAURA: Fucking destroyed.

TRAVIS: Cut me real quick.

MATT: At this point, you now see as Lord Ukurat steps from them, and they all begin to form a semicircle around you. He goes, “Were you trying to flee?”

TALIESIN: We were running from the pixies.

LAURA: We destroyed their home, and then we took off running. That's what you wanted, right?

MARISHA: They're so scary.

MATT: “If you had done what we asked, you would have been able to leave this forest.”

TALIESIN: So we have to try harder. It didn't work.

LAURA: Apparently, our methods were not complete. We will go back and we will do it better this next time.

MARISHA: To be fair, I don't remember entering a formal contract.

LIAM: You took off before we shook hands or anything.

MARISHA: You told us to go take a look at the pixies first. And to get a second opinion. And we have made it to the edge of the bog safely, without your need of safe passage.

MATT: He's already turned around and walking away. He says, “Do what you will. I have no interest in you. Liars, deceivers! You talk too much. Your meat would taste like ash in my mouth. Well, good luck. Enjoy your time locked in this prison like the rest of us!” The wolves turn around and walk away.

LAURA: Wait, you're locked in here because of the pixies?

TALIESIN: I feel like they're terrible communicators.

MARISHA: Yeah, they should've told us that. I don't think they wanted to tell us that.

LIAM: Would've been a good incentive for us to destroy the pixies. We can't proceed without destroying the pixies.

LAURA: A little communication is all we need!

TRAVIS: Can I take out my bloodaxe and go up to the magic barrier and hit it as hard as I can?

MATT: Go for it. Roll an attack.

TALIESIN: This is going to be appalling. Don't.


MATT: Okay, roll damage.

TRAVIS: How do I do that? I forget. I'm kidding.

MATT: It's been a few episodes.


MATT: Okay. I need you to also make a wisdom saving throw.

TRAVIS: Sweet. Natural one.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Got to love it when the crew laughs at your final death crack.

MATT: As you pull back with the bloodaxe, you slam with all your might into the barrier. As it hits, there's a streak, a flash of vibrant, bluish-white light and what sounds like the highest shriek you've ever heard in the entirety of your time on Exandria, at which point you watch Grog get flung backwards at incredible speed through the air, the actual blast sending you almost into your allies and party, slamming into one of the nearby tree trunks. The bloodaxe goes plopping to the ground as you feel a number of bones in your back crack from the impact. You suffer 28 points of psychic damage and 14 points of bludgeoning damage from hitting the tree.

TALIESIN: I feel like we all learned a very valuable lesson right now.

MARISHA: What's a good burrowing creature? A badger?


LAURA: I feel like we need to rest, you guys. We really need to rest.

TALIESIN: Let's sit down and camp, and in the morning, we'll go and kill some pixies.

SAM: Wait. Are we trapped in here because we were deceitful to these wolf-men, or because the pixies are trapping everybody?

LIAM: The pixies are bitter little assholes.

MATT: Garmelie goes, “That doesn't make sense. People enter and exit the forest without an issue.”

SAM: We entered.

MARISHA: Yeah, we entered.

SAM: So why are we trapped here? Because we lied?

MATT: “I don't know.”

TRAVIS: I just don't think we can go this way. (belches)

TALIESIN: I'm going to attempt to cast Minor Illusion on the other side of the wall. Just an image of myself.

MATT: Okay. As you attempt to cast the spell, the arcane energy dissipates upon impact with the barrier.

LAURA: Garmelie, who do you know that's left these woods?

MATT: “That would be my uncle Jameson, who's the person I learned most of this information about the Moonbrush from.”

LAURA: Your uncle Jameson, and he was definitely telling the truth that he went in the woods?

MATT: “He was probably a little intoxicated when he was spinning these tales, but–”

TALIESIN: Is Jameson his real name or a nickname?

MATT: “As far as I know, it's his real name.”

LAURA: So he knew about the happy camp.

MATT: “These were the things I was warned of, yes.”

LIAM: Do we want to waste any time trying to take your broom up and see how high this barrier goes?

MARISHA: I can dig and see if we can go under, just in case.

TALIESIN: That doesn't jive.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's true. It didn't hurt us when we just ran into it.

LIAM: No, when we ran into it, it felt like a brick wall.

LAURA: I guess I fly up. Can I fly up and see how high up it goes?

MATT: Sure. You get on the broom, you go past the canopy and eventually, the front of the broom clips and scrapes against, and you can see a little bit of a shimmer of the barrier that domes up.

LAURA: It's a bubble. We're in a bubble. I go back down.

TRAVIS: I have a proposal.

LAURA: Yes, Grog?

TRAVIS: Why don't we make our way back to the pixie dome and say: oh, we were chased by these horrible lycans! We wanted to kill them, but we got stuck when we hit this invisible wall. Could you do anything to help us get rid of the lycans? And then we play both sides of the coin.

SAM: That is way better than our first idea, and yet still terrible.

TALIESIN: I think we have to pick a terrible idea and stick with it until it becomes far too much for us to deal with.

MARISHA: Can I take a look around and do a perception check to see if anyone else might be watching us?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: That's not bad. 25.

MATT: 25. You take a moment and glance about the tree line, the floor.

MARISHA: Are there rustles in the bushes from someone who might be invisible?

MATT: No movement any further. Once the rest of Lord Ukurat and his crew had vanished into the nightward direction, you've seen no movement since.

LAURA: I feel like they weren't that bad of guys. They could've attacked us, and they didn't. They just want out.

LIAM: They're certainly no meaner than Grog is. They're just scarier.

TALIESIN: I propose we take a nap. Go back and deal with the pixies one way or another.

LIAM: I agree with Percival. I think all our options are shit. We pick the least shitty and see what happens.

LAURA: Scanlan, can you sleep?

SAM: If I read for a few more hours first, sure.

TALIESIN: You'll take first watch.

MARISHA: How long have we been up?

MATT: At this point in time, I'd say close to eight, nine hours.

MARISHA: So it hasn't been a full day. Let's call it an early night.

LAURA: Read your book. We'll sleep.

TRAVIS: All right. You take first watch. We're going to zonk out.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: I'll stay up, as well.

MATT: So you're taking a short rest or a long rest?

LAURA: We'll take a short rest into a long rest. So he can finish reading and then we can sleep.

MATT: All right, sure. So you're taking first watch.

LAURA: And I'm up with him.

MATT: Okay.


MATT: Can you…?

MARISHA: I want to go Minxie and do a little perimeter walk in the forest a little bit.

MATT: Okay. The rest of you guys are resting and finding camp here in a small section of the trees. You're on that weird cusp where, looking out towards the barrier, you can see the dusk light, the usual sky of the Feywild, and as you guys back up to find your camp, a little deeper in the forest where it feels safer and less exposed, looking up, you can still see the dark, starry sky and the moon, both visible from your position past the trees above and past the barrier in front. As the rest of you are resting, you're finishing up your reading. You go Minxie form, and you go wandering the perimeter. Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Natural one.

SAM: Looks like a seven. Nope, that's a one.

MATT: As you're stalking through, looking about, you catch a scent, a new scent. One you're unfamiliar with. It smells sweet, like a freshly fallen and opened fruit. You immediately instinctively look down and sniff across the ground. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a glow as you see two small, humanoid entities with pairs of wings flutter in in front of you and stop. What languages do you know?

MARISHA: Elven, Sylvan, Primordial.

MATT: Okay. You do understand what they're saying, as they are both talking to each other in Sylvan. One says, “I'm not familiar with this one! I don't think I've seen this creature in here before.” The other one glances over and goes, “You don't think she could've done it?”

MARISHA: What was that last bit? Sorry.

MATT: “You don't think that she could've done it? It's just a cat.” “Is it, though?” They both get closer and inspect ou. They're both rotating around your face and fluttering. One starts pulling on your ear a little bit, tugging on it.

MARISHA: I start purring.

MATT: “It's okay.” They move underneath, under your neck, and scratch just a little bit. The other one backs up and goes, “We have to keep looking. Something did this.”

MARISHA: I wait for a second, and then start stalking them.

MATT: You follow them?


MATT: Okay. The rest of you guys are taking a rest. You continue reading.

LAURA: I'm awake. I'm keeping guard.

MATT: They stop and move, stop and move. They're doing a full perimeter. Apparently, they are some sort of a search party. Occasionally, you can hear bits and pieces of conversation at a distance, thanks to your better hearing as Minxie, but not incredible bits. They're discussing a scare. They're discussing the enchantment that was placed. They're discussing new intrusion. That's about the most you can make out of the conversation. You continue to follow them. You're going into the second or third hour of following them, and they're still doing a wide perimeter in the forest. They meet up with a third one, and they have a quick little discussion and then branch off.

MARISHA: Can I hear the little discussion, anything?

MATT: If you want to get closer.


MATT: Okay. Make a stealth check.

MARISHA: I have stealth as Minxie. I get benefits, right, as a tiger? Oh, yeah, I do. Oh, not good. Ten.

MATT: All right. As you creep forward in the middle of their discussion, the three of them all whip around at you. One of them pulls a wand out and puts it out in front, and the other two back up.

MARISHA: I just start eating grass.

LAURA: That's totally tiger-like.

MATT: The two that saw you before are like, “She's been following us.” “Why?”

MARISHA: I roll over and show my belly.

MATT: The one that has the wand out goes, “I don't want to take chances.” Puts the wand out. How many hit points do you have? In Minxie form?

LIAM: Shuffle shuffle, flip page, flip page, flip page.

MARISHA: Sorry. 52. They're going to Finger of Death me, aren't they? They're going to do something bad.

MATT: Okay. Raises the wand. There's a slight tingling sensation, and then nothing happens, and looks at the wand. “Strange.” They all convene and start whispering to each other very close.

MARISHA: I look distracted with other stuff. I sniff and wander off.

MATT: They separate a bit.

MARISHA: Just doing cat-like things.

LIAM: Just start pissing.

MARISHA: I mark my territory. I spray a little bit.

LAURA: Gross. That's foul, Keyleth.

MATT: You hear one of them say, “We can always correct it later, but best to be safe than sorry.” As you're peeing, I need you to make a–

LAURA: If she gets petrified while she's pissing, it's going to be–

MATT: I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

SAM: It's either a one or a 20.

MARISHA: I'll just start a new one. Don't worry about it. Fuck, why?

TRAVIS: Is this shit on camera? We're recording, right?

MARISHA: That one's a 19, can I go with the 19?

MATT: You can't take it off the table before it's real.

TRAVIS: Twice in a fucking row? What are the chances? Do it again.

MARISHA: Oh, that's a 16, that's good. Saving throw, so 21.

MATT: Constitution saving throw is 21 total?

MARISHA: I've got my ring of protection, which gives me a plus two.

MATT: Oh, right. So as you're peeing, you feel another warm tingle over one shoulder, and you feel your muscles tense a little bit, and then relax as the effect passes over you to no effect. The three pixies go, “We have to tell her. I don't trust it.” And they all flutter off.

MARISHA: Okay. I head back to camp.

MATT: A few hours pass. Keyleth hasn't returned. You're still reading.

LAURA: Keyleth? Keyleth, dear? Shit.

MARISHA: Whenever I'm back.

LAURA: Shit. I go and I kick Vax awake.

LIAM: Ow. Why did you do that?

LAURA: Oi. Your girlfriend's not back yet.

LIAM: What do you mean?

LAURA: She went off prowling as Minxie and she's not home.

LIAM: I take off flying.

LAURA: Fucking A.

MARISHA: Oh jesus. Oh man. I'm a big girl, come on.

LAURA: That is not what I meant for you to do.

MATT: This is your first time really trying out your wings. You're also in a very dense forest, so there's no space. As you heroically take off, you impact. Your wing hits a branch, and you go spinning out of the way.

LIAM: Can I Spider-Man from tree to tree like the werewolves did using the wings a little bit?

MATT: You're trying to. Make an acrobatics check with disadvantage.

TRAVIS: It's like a Plinko machine.

LIAM: 28.

MATT: With disadvantage? You manage to not fall on your face, but it is a very clumsy-looking ascent. You make it, but a wingspan of that size, amongst tree-tops, is going to do very little other than what your general leaping would do. You get a little bit of gliding space from point to point.

LIAM: I'm still fucking asleep is the problem.

MATT: Yeah. But you don't fall. All right, so we'll say for the next couple hours you guys do-si-do in the forest until eventually you do convene. Your wings wear off, and you find yourself back at the camp, Minxie safely arriving just as you finish your final page of your book.

SAM: And it was all a dream. What a shitty ending. Who knew? It was terribly hacky and derivative, and it read like Fifty Shades of Grey.

LAURA: Scanlan, you–

SAM: What? Something different about me?

LAURA: I don't know. Did you do your hair differently today?

LIAM: Are you shorter?

SAM: I feel so interesting.

LIAM: That's impossible.

SAM: It could be.

MATT: And Scanlan goes right into the deepest slumber he's ever experienced.

LAURA: Good. You guys are back, everybody's safe, everything's good?

MARISHA: So I stalked a couple of fairies for several hours.

LIAM: I know all this. She told me two hours ago.

MARISHA: Yes, I caught him up a little bit as we were walking back. Pretty sure it is the fairies who are creating the magical barrier, and I'm pretty sure it's because we might've scared the living shit out of them, so it might've all been still our fault all along, like most things are, so we'll talk to the fairies tomorrow.

LAURA: If they don't find us.

MARISHA: They are actively looking for us.

TRAVIS: They saw you.

MARISHA: They saw me as a cat.

TRAVIS: What did they do to you?

MARISHA: I think they tried to cast several spells on me, and by some luck of the draw, I managed to feline my way out of them. I think they are looking for me and us, and I won't be a tiger anymore.

LAURA: Can I use my ranger abilities and try to disguise where we're camping?

MARISHA: Can I help hide? I'll help her a little bit.

MATT: You guys find a little alcove by one of the bigger trees nearby that has some of the roots recess inward, and you build a small camp there that's covered with thatch and branches.

LIAM: Do we have any concept of what time it is in this perpetual night?

MATT: You really have none.

LAURA: I'm going to get a little sleep, though, so I can get my spells back. Anybody else taking watch?

LIAM: Yeah, stay up with me.


TALIESIN: She needs to rest.

TRAVIS: I'll stay up.

MATT: She's already been up for four hours.

LIAM: Stay up with me.

TRAVIS: You can cuddle with me.

LIAM: Don't offer that.

TRAVIS: I know.

MARISHA: Okay. I will sleep, then, I guess.

MATT: Go ahead and nap. You guys are staying up.

MARISHA: I pick a space near Vax.

MATT: You guys make perception checks, both of you.


LIAM: 27.

MATT: Okay. Partway into your watch, you do see, whereas there was the very faint, ever-present falling of the fey lights, you do see what looks to be two brighter lights that are traveling together, shifting about a little ways past your sight.

LIAM: Do you see that?

TRAVIS: Yeah, fireflies.

LIAM: No. Well, sort of. Let's watch them. I don't think we should go out. I think we should let the group rest.

TRAVIS: What, the little lights?

LIAM: No, your friends. We'll let them sleep unless those things come closer.


LIAM: Are they coming closer, or are they keeping their distance?

MATT: They're keeping a distance. They don't seem to notice you.

LAURA: They might've heard you.

MATT: All right, they come pretty close, actually. They start heading in your direction. Do you guys do anything? Are you going to stay quiet? What do you do?

LIAM: Don't move. I go stealth.

TRAVIS: I freeze in an exotic pose.

MATT: Make a stealth check with advantage because of the camouflage that she put.

LIAM: Do I have that camouflage?

MATT: You already have your crazy bonuses, but yeah, take advantage on that.

LIAM: 25.

TRAVIS: Eight.

MATT: Total of eight? With advantage?

TRAVIS: A six and a two.

LIAM: Come on, Grog! Come on.

MATT: All right. As they drift past, you hear a fart, which isn't what catches their attention. It's the pause after, and Grog uncontrollably laughing at it, partially because the intent of Keyleth staying close to Vax while you guys were resting, and it went in her direction.

MARISHA: I shuffle uncomfortably in my sleep. I don't know why I just had a nightmare.

MATT: You watch as two of these fluttering points of light about ten feet out.

LIAM: I'm staying still.

MATT: Stay there for a second, and then go darting off into the distance.

TRAVIS: One look and they ran.

LIAM: We have to talk about your diet.


LIAM: Your diet! Do you eat any greens at all?

TRAVIS: Yeah, pickled herring, and I've been grabbing stuff as we walk through.

MARISHA: That just happened. He wants to talk about your IBS, and there are lycans.

LIAM: I crawl over to my sister and shake her and say: wake up!

LAURA: What?

LIAM: Don't fly away like I did. Oh, wait, your broom's over there, all right. They are watching us. They came in close, and then they left, so I don't think we're safe anymore.

LAURA: So we fucking should get out of here?

LIAM: Maybe, yeah.

LAURA: Wake everybody up!

TRAVIS: No, look. We've got to talk to them anyway, right? We're not going to run.

LAURA: At least we can prepare ourselves.


TALIESIN: Sleeping.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just keep sleeping.

LAURA: I wake Percival up.


LAURA: Percy.

TALIESIN: What? Yes?

LAURA: Hi, grumpy.


LAURA: We've been discovered by fairies.

TALIESIN: That's nice.

LAURA: Get ready to use your charming wiles.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: I'm going to let Scanlan sleep a little bit more, because he looks fucking exhausted.

LIAM: That's it, you put him back to sleep? You go back to bed, then.

LAURA: All right, fine. Can we make things look fancy around here so when they all come back, we look like we're ready to talk to them?

TALIESIN: I slowly crawl out. I pull out a piece of parchment, and I write: Hello, fairies. We're napping. And I put it on the tree above us and go back to sleep.

LIAM: You're letting Whitey go back to sleep, then?

LAURA: Whitey? Are you calling him Whitey as a nickname?

LIAM: Yeah. I think it's apt. Fuck it. I go back to bed. I spoon Keyleth and fall asleep.

MARISHA: I'll allow it.

TRAVIS: I actually go back to sleep, too.

LAURA: What in the fuck is going on here? How is this happening?

MATT: Vex, you're the only one awake.

TALIESIN: All right, fine, my watch. I'll get up.

LAURA: I'm going to sit up.

TALIESIN: I sit up and take the watch.

LAURA: Oh, you know what, I'm going to put out the little gold tea set, and I'm going to act like we're welcoming them to tea whenever they show up.

TALIESIN: I will take the watch, and I will make some tea with the tea set.

TRAVIS: The cups are bigger than they are. Oh, you made drowning pots for us all. How lovely. It's going to be a threat.

LAURA: I never did actually find out what this tea set does.

TALIESIN: We're about to find out, then, aren't we?

LAURA: Oh, you know what, and I take out my old wooden music box that I discovered.

LIAM: Yes, pull out all of your cursed items.

LAURA: And I wind it up and make some pretty music.

SAM: Like a crazy grandma in the woods.

TALIESIN: I am joining you for this ridiculous tea party.

LAURA: I like it, thank you. Don't drink out of the teacups, because I really think they might be cursed. Seriously, Percy, I know it's appealing to you, but don't get cursed again, all right?

MATT: All right, so. You guys prepare your tea. You set up your music box. A couple more hours pass, the rest of you coming to a semblance of a restful sleep. The only ones who didn't get a restful sleep on this would be Vex and… Percy?

TALIESIN: I specifically did not join those conversations.

MATT: You barely got in there. You do not get your spells back, unfortunately. Scanlan, you reduce your exhaustion by one point.

SAM: Oh, I got sleep?

MATT: You did, yes, so you're down to only one point, which means your speed is no longer halved.

SAM: Oh, I had two points of exhaustion? I thought it was just one.

MATT: You wanted to keep reading.

LIAM: Hair is shiny, eyes are bright.

TALIESIN: Your charisma's up by two, which means–

SAM: No, I already did it.

MATT: At this point, towards the end of this watch here, you see as a cluster of seven lights now start swarming in your direction.

LAURA: Oh, good.

MARISHA: Are we awake?

MATT: You're starting to come to as Vex begins to nudge you guys to consciousness.

SAM: Do I get spells back?

MATT: You do.

LAURA: Oi, Scanlan. Sing a happy tune about how much we love fairies.

SAM: Oh, sure. I love singing happy tunes. About fairies?

LAURA: Yeah, like how pretty they are.

SAM: How about I just sing a happy tune?

LAURA: Sounds good, too.

SAM: I'll sing a song about myself. The best kind of songs. (singing) Cube, glorious cube! You really should try it. If you're in the mood, I won't even hide it. I'll pull down my trousers for any gal or dude, O cube, glorious cube, wonderful cube, magical cube!

MATT: The sounds of your voice, accompanied by the music box playing through the air as the Wisher pixies arrive, at least this troupe of them come rushing up. You see they are all behind one that appears to have– while all of them have a slight white with a hint of pinkish glow, there is one that has a deeper purple halo around it. As they all approach, they stop, and the purple one goes up to the paper that was left on the tree. “So! Enjoy your nap?”

LAURA: I wasn't quite rested, but it was lovely here.

TALIESIN: There is tea. Would you like some tea?

SAM: We might have straws.

TALIESIN: I am tempted to fashion the thing that I use to pour my molds into little sippy cups that can be shared.

LAURA: We've been trying to prepare for your coming. Unfortunately, we don't have very much to make it appropriate.

TALIESIN: We are aware we need to have a conversation. Good morning.

MATT: “Yes, we do.” And the other pixies flutter down to the ground. She flutters down, as well, and they approach the tea set.

MARISHA: I say good morning to them in Sylvan.

MATT: They all look over, and they give a slight curtsey bow. You now have a closer look at them. They're all various lithe young men and women with little leaf-based or vine-based bits of attire. The one that has the purplish halo is an older one with whiter hair that's a little wild around the face. You can see the wings themselves look a little more tattered and worn. She's probably the respected elder of the troupe that's there. As they all step forward, she inspects the tea set and looks up. “So.”

LAURA: I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding. You see, we were trying to pass through these woods, and we ran into a band of very big, very mean-looking wolves.

MATT: All the pixies at once go (gasps) and they pull back. The purple one says, “You ran into them?”

SAM: Not only did we run into them, but they forced us against our will to attempt to do you harm.

LAURA: Which, of course, we didn't want to do.

TALIESIN: So we thought we would just trick them.

MATT: The pixies at this point are darting around to each of you. You each have a pixie hovering right in front of you, quickly inspecting your bodies. You can see now the central one, the glowing purple, is in the air, backing up.

MARISHA: They didn't bite any of us or get any of us. We're not infected.

MATT: They all look around. You see the pixies all turn back, looking, okay. One of them by Grog turns and goes, “He's been wounded!” Pointing at his head.

LAURA: His cut?

TALIESIN: Oh, that was him.

SAM: I cut his eyebrow, and then he fucked himself by trying to smash through the barrier that I assume you created.

TRAVIS: Yeah, don't go through that wall. But bidet.

TALIESIN: We're on a mission, though.

LAURA: A great mission.

MATT: “If we are to continue this conversation, we need comfort. He is disquieting. Allow us.”

LAURA: What are you going to–

TRAVIS: No, it's cool. Please, do as you will.

LIAM: What are we talking about?

TRAVIS: Let them feel at ease. Go ahead.

MATT: The older one glances over at you. Make a constitution saving throw.

TRAVIS: Natural one. (laughs)

MATT: As you grin, you watch as his flesh goes an even duller gray color as his entire body turns to solid stone.

LIAM: Is that temporary? Is that going to last?

MATT: “Now. Let us have a conversation.”

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: “So. You've encountered these beasts.”


MARISHA: And they instructed us to kill you.

TALIESIN: No, not to kill.

LAURA: They wanted us to hurt you. To destroy your circle of stones.

MATT: “They sent you to come and kill us and destroy our home?”

LIAM: We misspoke. To destroy this circle.

MATT: “You speak in many words that do not meet as one thought or theory.”

TALIESIN: Well, you're a bit intimidating.

MATT: As the very tiny pixies all look at each other and look at you large folk, there's a little chuckle under their breath.

TALIESIN: We are wise enough to not judge a man or woman by their size, good sir.

MARISHA: We didn't want to harm you, so we thought if we just made it look to those silly, dumb lycans like we hurt you. By throwing paper balls, if you will.

TALIESIN: Stop antagonizing the Grog statue.

MARISHA: I did just a simple visual spell, and we tried to move on, as to not get involved.

SAM: We did everything in our power to protect you, and to not harm you. If our druid's spellcasting frightened you, we apologize, but we didn't know what else to do.

TALIESIN: And we have a bog to destroy.

LAURA: Yes, we're on a very important mission, and we thought it might be the quickest way to complete.

TALIESIN: There's a cancerous tree that we have been sent to destroy.

LIAM: Honestly, we're scared of both you and the lycan, and we just want to pass through. We want no harm for you, and unfortunately, them, either. We just want to walk on out of here.

MARISHA: This is not our fight, you see.

MATT: The older one is glancing about, and a couple of the pixies drop next to her and whisper into her ear, and her eyes are still darting amongst you.

MARISHA: Can I understand what they're saying?

MATT: No, they're very small, and they're very distant.

LAURA: That's really, really off-putting.

MATT: It's impressive. The two pixies separate. The elder one crosses her fingers. “Few are those who would deal with such miscreants and foul entities as those wolf kin, so much as to give our little hearts a possible scare of death to our homes in an attempt to escape without but a conversation. This puts us at unease. We do not like being at unease.”

LAURA: Understandable. But we weren't trying to deal with them. In fact, we made no deal with them. We told them we wouldn't make a deal until we spoke with you. But we were scared. We were too scared.

MARISHA: They were trying to exploit our abilities. We were being held against our will. We were threatened with life or death. There was nothing personal.

LIAM: Their leader is massive. We were scared. This one wet his leg, and he's gigantic. We just didn't know what to do.

MATT: She puts her hands up. “Very well. Mistakes are made, and punishments are doled out. So. We shall return to our village. We shall lower the barrier to you, and all shall be fine.”

SAM: And our gray stone friend?

MATT: “He is your punishment for your infraction. But we've learned our lessons, and you may go about your way.”

SAM: How can we buy his freedom?

LIAM: We've got a tea set.

LAURA: How can we buy his freedom?

MATT: “There is no freedom to be bought. In these worlds, words and actions speak volumes, and you've crossed our people. Right now, we could take you all as new entries to our garden. We took but one. Be thankful you got off quite as easy. The Wishers set you free.”

LAURA: Thanks, Wisher.

MARISHA: It's okay. I can fix it.

SAM: What? What do you mean?

MARISHA: I have Greater Restoration. She left, right? That wasn't in front of her. I didn't say that to her.

MATT: Okay. She says, “Very well. Good luck on your endeavor.” The rest of the pixies gather up around Grog's body, and you watch as they all glow and his stone form, as heavy as it should be, suddenly becomes weightless.

SAM: Wait.

TALIESIN: Wait, no, we need that.

MARISHA: Oh, they're taking him. Oh! I cast Earthbind on Grog.

SAM: Earthbind?

MARISHA: Yeah. It should ground him.

MATT: It does. He slams into the ground with all the weight of a falling stone goliath into the dirt. At which point the pixies immediately go off and turn around. “You would cast incantations towards us?”

MARISHA: No, I cast it to my friend, who is about 12 foot tall and a giant target. Come on, don't make stories up where there aren't any.

MATT: “Stories, nothing.”

MARISHA: What? You fairies are manifesting these ideas, okay? You are creating a dichotomy that does not exist.

MATT: They all gather and begin to whisper to each other, their heads darting around.

MARISHA: Oh, see, look. They're doing it right now.

MATT: At this point: “This display is enough. Your words and your actions speak in difference, in entirely opposing directions. If you are to continue to throw these words, these deceptions, these lies in our direction, then perhaps we'll take you all for our garden.”

TALIESIN: I wouldn't advise that.

MATT: “Then let us take him, and you move on with your lesson.” And they go and pick him up once more.

LAURA: Wouldn't you rather have a song? Wouldn't you rather have– how often do you get a performance?

TALIESIN: I cast Hex on the main pixie.

MATT: You do?


SAM: That's it, it's on. I call out to the main pixie: Wait. What's your name?

MATT: At this point, you guys watch as a shadow all of a sudden darts up from the ground and clings around the pixie. She whips around, at which point you now hear another (impact) as the stone Grog slams into the ground, all the pixies scattering around.

MARISHA: See, that is what it looks like when an incantation is targeted at you.

TALIESIN: It's not very nice, is it?

MATT: You now watch as all of the various very gently falling fairy lights begin to (flitting) and be absorbed by the pixies of the forest. As their glows intensify, the purple halo growing, you see the central elder figure of the Wisher pixies say, “At least our allegiances now lie bare.” I need you all to roll initiative.

LAURA: Can you quickly–

MARISHA: It's one action. It's one fucking action. I just looked it up for that reason. That's not good. That's not a good initiative at all.

LAURA: Natural 20 on an initiative. I don't know what I can do to them.


MARISHA: I notoriously roll terrible on my initiative.

SAM: How many are there?

TALIESIN: A lot, but they die quick.

MARISHA: Are they going to form a–

LAURA: A Voltron?

MARISHA: That's exactly what I was thinking, yeah.

LAURA: I feel like it would be easier to hit if it was a giant Voltron.

LIAM: Oh, that angle is not going to be kind to those trees.

TALIESIN: What's the best check to give him? I can give him disadvantage on an ability check. So wisdom or intelligence?

LIAM: The werewolves were honorable. These guys are assholes.

LAURA: Yeah, I know.

TALIESIN: I feel better about killing them.

LAURA: Me, too. They're dicks. They were going to take Grog.

MARISHA: They were trying to take Grog. Fucking assholes. I feel like we were very reasonable, considering how unreasonable we normally are.

SAM: We were put between a rock and hard place.

MARISHA: And a hard Grog.

SAM: And we had no choice. Really. It was a bad situation.

LAURA: Grog is on the ground? Oh, he is on the ground.

MATT: Yes, he is.

TRAVIS: I'm stoned.

SAM: If Grog is permanently corrupted, we know that we can download a fresh one from


TRAVIS: Beautiful. That was too good.

TALIESIN: Just couldn't let it go. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't let it go.

MARISHA: Was that my fault this time? it was a mild combination. I might have contributed.

SAM: We should've fought the fucking werewolves.

LAURA: Yeah, we should've, but we didn't, because we're idiots.

MATT: All right, initiative order. We have 25 to 20?


LAURA: 27, as well, with a natural 20.

SAM: 21 for me.

TALIESIN: We are some fast motherfuckers.

SAM: I got sleep.

MATT: All right. 20 to 15?

LAURA: Those fairies are so spread out. I thought they would all be together.

MATT: As soon as they dropped, they fanned out.

TALIESIN: We were trying really hard not to shoot first.

MATT: 15 to ten?

LIAM: 13.

MATT: Ten to five? And Grog is stone. Sorry, buddy.

MARISHA: You first, bud. Coming for you first.

MATT: All righty. Top of the round, Percy and Vex, you're up first.

TALIESIN: Where's the one that I hexed?

MATT: The one that you hexed, which I will mark here, looking overhead you can see is the one with the brighter, vibrant glow right there. That is currently the one, so I'm marking that as the Hex right there. There you go.

TALIESIN: Do you think they're really hard to hit because they're small?

LAURA: Probably. I'm going to move over to my left.

MATT: Okay. Here?

LAURA: Yeah. A little bit more. I want to line them up in a cone, so if I can get as many in a cone as I can.

MATT: Okay. Do we have the cone templates? Because they're not by me right now.

LAURA: It's a 60-foot cone there that I have. It's a big cone.

MATT: It's a very big cone.

LIAM: What about just a comb?

LAURA: I want to cast Hunter's Mark on the shiny one that he hexed, as well.

MATT: Hunter's Mark on that one as well.

LAURA: Double. They're weak, you guys! Milk jug rings, take them out.

MATT: Thank you, Zack. I appreciate that. So 60-foot cone. You can get four of them into it.

LAURA: That gets the mamba jamba? Okay, good. That's what I want.

MARISHA: What we don't want to do is spread out too much and get fucked.

LAURA: Conjure Barrage.

MATT: Conjure Barrage. All right. Dexterity saving throw. All right.

LAURA: It's a 15 for me.

MATT: That's a success. Success. Success. 18, 19, 19. And 16. All succeed.

LAURA: So they take half. 3d8, halved.

MATT: So roll damage, halved. Grog's stone form takes full damage.

LAURA: Oh. Sorry. 15, halved. Plus Hunter's Mark damage on the–

MATT: On the one, so roll for that one.

LAURA: I got three on that.

TALIESIN: Don't forget to Trinket.

LAURA: That's one action, isn't it?

TALIESIN: Is it an action?

MATT: It's an action to cast, yeah.

LAURA: So I can't use Trinket yet, because I already did something.

MATT: All righty, so as everyone gathers up, immediately as the fight begins you can see as Vex puts a Hunter's Mark on the purple glowing pixie and then pulls out an arrow, releases it, and then it scatters into a blast of various shards of sharpened wood, metal, and stone that goes shooting into the nearby trees. You can see the bark of the nearby tree trunks being covered with various bits of ranger shrapnel as most of the pixies try and avoid, but most getting blasted with some semblance of impact. That's going to end your turn, unless you want to move some more.

LAURA: I want to duck behind that tree, like it's going to do anything.

TRAVIS: How many points of damage was that?

MATT: To you? To your stone form? That was 15.


MATT: From the blast of the impact you can see parts of the stone get rough a little bit at certain points.

TRAVIS: I can break.

LAURA: You can break.

MATT: Statues can break, and that's bad.

LAURA: That's super bad.

TRAVIS: Somebody lost an arm that way.

MATT: Do you want Trinket to move at all?

LAURA: Trinket runs and stands next to Keyleth.

MATT: All right. Got it. That brings us to Percy, same turn.

TALIESIN: Taking a shot with Retort, with the little pistol at the fucker I've marked. Dear god almighty. 16 to hit?

MATT: 16 does not hit. As you try to shoot, this tiny little glowing thing darts out of the way and the bullet goes wide.

TALIESIN: Shoot again. That's better. 25.

MATT: That does hit.

TALIESIN: Okay. It has been way too long since I've done this. It's making me a little nervous. There we are. That's 11 points of piercing damage. That's with three points of necro in there.

MATT: All right, so that's your second attack. This time you do see as it moves out of the way you compensate for it and fire, this time you see the purple glow flicker as it takes an impact and recaptures itself into its original position.

TALIESIN: And I'm going to take one more shot at it with– remind me if I can do this– deadeye with sharpshooter?

MATT: Deadeye sharpshooter? You can do that.

TALIESIN: All right, deadeye sharpshooter. Thank god. This is just sucking. Oh my fucking god. I miss.

MATT: Okay. You don't misfire. All right, so after the second shot hits, you fire, trying to compensate a third time, but the pixie actually stays in position and your fire goes wide once more.

TALIESIN: All right. Now I'm diving behind that tree. Bottom right. Heading that way, yeah.

MATT: Cool, that ends your turn. The purple pixie leader, the mystic you mentioned before, now angrily comes fluttering forward, as you both have vanished. Seeing this little circumstance, is going to, from this position, look towards you at the very front, Vax.

LIAM: Shit.

MATT: It begins reciting under its breath.

SAM: I'll do Counterspell at level six.

MARISHA: Oh snapricot.

TALIESIN: Did you just say “snapricot?”

MARISHA: I'm a fucking hipster.

TALIESIN: This is going so poorly.

LIAM: (Gollum voice) Nasty.

MATT: As you cast your Counterspell, mark off your 6th-level spell. It finishes the incantation, as it does, a bit of arcane energy sprays forth from its fingertips and dissipates around it.

LIAM: Aw, that's sad.

MATT: Darts backwards.

LAURA: Out of camera view.

MATT: All right, Scanlan you're up.

SAM: They're so far, and I don't know what they can do. Probably a lot. I'll step towards that tree in front of me, in front of the bear and the girl.

MATT: That's far as you can get.

SAM: That cluster of the pixies over there? I'll see if I can get three of them in a Fireball.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: If I can, the leader and the ones closest to the leader. But I don't know if I'm within range.

MATT: Okay, you just using a single charge for it?

SAM: Oh yeah, I have lots of charges, don't I?

MATT: How many came back? You have to roll for the last couple of times you've gotten a full rest.

SAM: I haven't used them in a long time.

MATT: Yeah that's true, actually.

SAM: I'll use two. A 4th-level spell, right?

MATT: 4th-level Fireball.

SAM: So it's 9d6.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Range is 150 feet. Radius is 20 feet.

MATT: All right. As you pull out the wand and release it, one of the nearby pixies– It has no effect.

TALIESIN: Assholes.

SAM: Wait, they can do that, too?

MATT: Oh my god, other people can counter.

LIAM: Passive-aggressive dungeon master! Oh, that's so sad. Oh.

MATT: So the wand once again sputters out, as well.

SAM: It's dead? Or it still might work after that?

MATT: Well, it might still work after that.

SAM: That one use, okay. Can I move any more, or am I all moved out?

MATT: That's the end of your movement.

SAM: I'll inspire Keyleth. I'll turn to her and say: (singing) It's been a hard fey's night, and you've got to unfreeze Grog. It's been a hard fey's night, because we've been fighting like a dog.

MARISHA: Okay, I can do that.

MATT: That the end of Scanlan's turn? All right. It's now the pixies' turn.

LIAM: Damn it, Bobby.

LAURA: They're all super magic, super-duper magic.

MATT: Actually, it's going to stay here, and before it moves… that will be in range. If I could have Keyleth make a wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: This is my bailiwick, yo.

TALIESIN: You also have an inspiration die.

MARISHA: I have an inspiration die. Ooh, I don't think I'll need it, though. 28.

MATT: 28, yeah. No effect on you whatsoever.

MARISHA: You even lift, bro? Come at me, bro. Got the John Cena going on.

MATT: This one over here, as it flutters by after seeing you attempt to cast the spell, Scanlan, I need you to go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Oh, boy. Advantage against magic.

MATT: That's magic in general?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I'm looking at it. Yeah, advantage versus magic on his saving throw.

MATT: From what, though?

SAM: I don't know, bard shit.

MARISHA: Is it because War Caster?

MATT: No, War Caster is advantage on concentration checks to maintain.

SAM: No it's not War Caster. It's something else.

TALIESIN: It's on his sheet, which means he found it somewhere.

MARISHA: And it's typed. It's typed up; it's not written in.

SAM: I probably didn't get it anyway, actually. Both rolls were shitty, and I only rolled a total of five on the better one.

MATT: So as the pixie darts to the side, it mutters something underneath it and raises its hands up. Scanlan, all of a sudden your body shimmers for a second, and you guys watch as the already small gnome becomes even smaller.

LAURA: We're going to die.

MATT: He is now a badger.

SAM: I'm a what? I'm a badger?!

MATT: It then continues its movement over here by the side of the tree.

SAM: Gnome Cunning, Matt.

TRAVIS: I tried to be diplomatic.

TALIESIN: A lot of good it did you.

LAURA: Why'd you do that?

LIAM: That's Scanlan's bag, man.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I thought we were all– never mind.

TALIESIN: We would be getting our asses kicked by a group of werewolves right now.

TRAVIS: People were preparing tea, you were being cordial. I was trying to be disarming. Next time, everything dies.

SAM: This is our punishment for–

TALIESIN: Trying to settle this amicably.

MATT: For intelligence, wisdom or charisma–

SAM: Yeah, that was a wisdom.

MATT: Yeah, so you're fine. Universal, so strength saves, it doesn't help for any of those.

SAM: It's just saves against magic for those three things.

MATT: This other one here, glancing over and seeing you there, is going to look towards you. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

LIAM: I've got advantage. Good, I got a 19.

MATT: 19. You have advantage from?

LIAM: Being a half-elf. Oh, it's not charm, is it? Then the first one was shitty. Ten or 11, somewhere around there.

MATT: You are a kitty cat.

LIAM: Can I use luck to take my second roll? I have luck left?

MATT: You have one luck left?

LIAM: I have two luck left, after sleeping.

MATT: Yeah, technically.

LIAM: Okay, so the second was a 17. Plus two, would've been a 19.

LAURA: So you're not a kitty cat?

LIAM: No, I really would like to be a kitty cat.

SAM: What happened?

LIAM: I asked if I could use one of my lucks instead.

SAM: So wait, he's not a kitty cat?

LIAM: In my heart, I am a kitty cat.

LAURA: Grog is stone.

LIAM: There's worse things than being a kitten, right?

MATT: This one over here leans towards you, Keyleth. I need you to make another wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: Already? Come on. Come at me, bro.

LIAM: We should have all been pixies from the beginning.

MARISHA: Okay, 27.

MATT: 27. You never roll low on those wisdom saving throws. It's really frustrating.

MARISHA: Wise as fuck.

MATT: All righty, now comes to Vax.

LIAM: Click go the boots. I'm going to run 12 squares and squat down just north of Grog. I'm not going to shit on you. I think I can make it all the way around to the other side of Grog, and I'm going to dagger, dagger, dagger at queen of the pixies there.

MATT: Right there? Okay, go for it.

LIAM: Okay, first is shit, second is a natural 20. Third is an 18.

MATT: Okay, second two hit.

LIAM: All right. Yeah, but it's not anything fancy. That's the weakness of the rogue. Where's my pyramid? There it is. So the first one which was the critical is big 11 for the first one on a critical. And the second one, I'll put poison on it, as well. Seven for the damage, and it's a DC of 15, for poison.

MATT: For poison, it does not succeed. It is poisoned.

LIAM: That's 2d10. 14 with poison.

MATT: Nice. All right, so now the mystic, the central pixie is fluttering, but it's not looking amazing. All right, so that ends your turn? All righty. That brings us to Keyleth.

SAM: Shouldn't have gone in that cave, man.

MARISHA: Can I dash and go a little bit further and still do an action and lose a bonus action? No, it's either like run or nothing?

MATT: A dash is an action, meaning you move and then your dash, to move more, is your action.

MARISHA: Okay. Here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to try and start making my way towards Grog, I'm going to do the 30 feet towards him.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Do I see the fairy leader?

MATT: You see her with a little bit of cover.

MARISHA: I'm going to blow my 6th-level spell. I'm going to cast Sunbeam, and Sunbeam her in the face.

TALIESIN: Does that go through her? There's one on the other side of her.

MARISHA: Oh! Does it go through to the one on the other side behind her?

MATT: No, it would go in this direction. She's right here.

MARISHA: I was looking at the red one, closer to me. I don't have the fucking pointer!

SAM: That's Grog, the red thing near you is Grog.

MARISHA: No, not that fucking red– this one. Yes, that one. Jesus. And the one behind it.

MATT: All right, so. As you muster your Sunbeam, the leader, who has not used her reaction yet, is going to attempt to counter that.


MATT: 6th-level, though, so it isn't an auto-counter. She has to roll for it.

SAM: It's a contested thing.

MARISHA: Fucking bitch. I said bitch! I was trying to be nice to you fairies!

MATT: Counterspell, so that DC is 16. That is a 19.

MARISHA: No, it's not!

MATT: It is 19, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Goddamn it, that was a 6th-level spell!

MATT: I know.

LIAM: The grace and poise of the Ashari.

MATT: As you muster your Sunbeam, the currently wounded, poisoned– let me check one thing real fast. On attack rolls and ability checks, because she's poisoned, she has disadvantage and has to roll again.

MARISHA: That's right, she does!

MATT: A natural 20.

TRAVIS: No way.

MATT: Yeah. So it still counters it. So you go to put your Sunbeam, the light begins to build up into the middle of your grasp, as you're about to unleash it and she darts up from behind the side of the tree and unleashes a torrent of arcane energy that feels like a gust of warm wind hits and scatters the Sunbeam from your grasp, the spell lost.

LIAM: Umbrasyl, in the can. Fairies, dead as shit.

MARISHA: You guys are supposed to have good parades.

MATT: All right, that's the end of your turn Keyleth? All right. Garmelie turns invisible.

LAURA: Of course he does.

SAM: Don't they want to Counterspell that?

LAURA: Oh no, and he took out a tree while he was at it!

MATT: Got to find a way to fix the glare on the mat without the angle falling forward. All right, top of the round, Percy and Vex, you guys are up.

LAURA: You go.

TALIESIN: Okay. From my vantage point I'm going to sit down, take out Bad News, take another deadeye sharpshooter with Bad News at the big fat fucker by the tree.

MATT: As of right now, technically, you have no sight on her.

TALIESIN: I don't?

MATT: You are way back there, and she is completely behind the tree.

TALIESIN: Can I take a step out to the left? As long as she has less than three-quarters cover, I'm okay.

MATT: Right, so you would have to move– she's very tiny, and the tree that's probably five foot or more thick. So based on her size, as part of her advantage in using these trees is you'd have to get over here before you can see her.

TALIESIN: Okay, so I'll move to my right a little bit, then, and I will shoot that fucker that's right in front of me.

MATT: All right. This one?

TALIESIN: Yep. Sharpshooter and with deadeye.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: That's a natural 20. That makes the grit go away, anyway, so nice.

TRAVIS: Fucking golden snitch.

TALIESIN: That actually wasn't the golden snitch. I was just feeling like they had something on me. Okay, so this is double the dice?

MATT: Yeah, you roll the dice and then double that.

TALIESIN: Roll the dice, double it, and then I add everything. Lordy, this is going to be disintegration. Six, 12, 22, 28 points of damage.

MATT: 28 points of piercing damage?


MATT: To that one, all righty. That's adding the sharpshooter?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I rolled really low.

MATT: Okay, gotcha. Okay, so you take the shot, the blast echoing throughout the trees and the treeline. You watch as the pixie takes the slug and actually gets thrown to the ground and then flutters back up, barely.

TALIESIN: Flutters back up, barely?

MATT: Yeah. It was undamaged before.

TALIESIN: Nothing fancy, just hitting it again.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: That's a 23.

MATT: That'll hit. Roll damage.

TALIESIN: That's better. 24 points of damage.

MATT: 24 points of damage. You hear this horrible, high pitched (yelps) as the light is scattered by a burst of what looks like a tiny blood spray, and dust and smoke.

TALIESIN: I call out: One! And back up behind the tree.

MARISHA: Out of how many?

MATT: All right, Vex.

LAURA: Okay. If I step out from behind the tree, do I have a sight on the big one?

MATT: You do have a sight on the big one, yes. It'll get cover bonuses. You'd have to get over here to see it.

LAURA: Can I walk over there, then? Okay. I walk to there. I want to use my Longbow of the Sky Sentinel and attack it.

MATT: You initiate the bow, pull back the arrow, and release as it splits into three different arrows.

LAURA: Natural 20.

TRAVIS: I'm looking at it.

MATT: Jesus Christ. Okay.

SAM: Defying statistics, one roll at a time.

LAURA: 12 plus 12. 24.

MATT: Okay, 24. Wait, 12 plus 12, 24? All right, so the second one hits.

LAURA: And then 22 on the third.

MATT: All three hit. Even with three-quarters cover, the last one just barely hits. Roll damage on all three.

TALIESIN: Kill them all.

LAURA: 20 on the first hit, no– oh shit. You double the dice? Six, that's 12.

LIAM: So add six to what you were saying, originally. You said 20, so it'd be 26 if you're doubling that die.

LAURA: 26 plus another five, so 31 on the first hit.

MATT: 31 on the first hit, okay.

LAURA: 17 on the second.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: 17 plus five is 22 on the third.

MATT: You watch as the purple light gets stapled to a tree in the back. You watch as the arrow hits her and carries her and she tries to pull herself off of the arrow as it's holding her against the distant tree and then it goes limp against it and the light slowly fades.

LAURA: Oh. So I shout out: Two! Your leader's dead! You want to still fight us?

MATT: You've got two more squares of movement if you want to use them.

LAURA: I move towards the tree.

MATT: This way or this way?

LAURA: That way.

MATT: This way. All righty, that ends your turn. It would be her turn, but she just got stapled to a tree. Scanlan, you're up.

TALIESIN: Build a dam. Sorry.

MATT: No, she didn't turn you into that. One of the other ones did, I believe.

TALIESIN: Actually, the one I killed turned him–

MATT: You're right. Thank you. Scanlan has dropped beaver form.

SAM: Oh my god, I was not expecting that, and therefore have no idea what I'll do. So there's pixies everywhere?

MATT: You can only really see one of them right now. Yeah, this one's supposed to be there.

SAM: Which one?

MATT: You can see that one over there.

SAM: Is there one behind me? You can't see one that I can see, actually. There's one around the tree.

MATT: Oh, sorry, two. You can see that one, yeah.

MARISHA: I'll help him first, but yeah. I can do that.

LIAM: They could possibly turn on us, though.

MATT: What're you doing, Scanlan?

SAM: I wasn't expecting to move! I can't see the leader, right?

MATT: No, you can see the leader. She's fucking dead, yo.

TALIESIN: She's pixie dust.

SAM: Shit! Not ready for this!

LIAM: Y'all ready for this?

SAM: Shit! Okay, I'll turn around, and let's just hope that it works this time.

LAURA: Wow, this is the longest–

SAM: I don't know! I wasn't expecting to move! How close am I to that one near the tree? Can I move to her?

MATT: Here? This one or this one?

SAM: The closest one to me, and how close am I?

MATT: This one's closest to you, and it's 20 feet from you.

SAM: Okay, I'm going to run to it, her, it, whatever, because I don't think they can– well, maybe they can Counterspell this, but I'll do a Thunderwave.

MATT: You do a Thunderwave?

SAM: Yeah. At level two.

MATT: That one is going to attempt to Counterspell. Each one of them gets a Counterspell; that one's not done it yet.

SAM: I do have a sword, shit, I'm the worst at this!

MATT: So as you rush up and begin casting it sees you rushing up and its eyes go wide for a second as it instinctually puts its hands out and the Thunderwave falls flat before you.

SAM: Shit, I'm the worst at this!

TALIESIN: Going to be a beaver again.

SAM: I am going to be a beaver again. That's it. That's all I can do.

LAURA: I thought he was a honey badger.

MATT: Little angry badger.

SAM: Who's alive still? I'll inspire… shit, I'm failing.

TALIESIN: I've never seen this before.

LAURA: He's broken. It's stealing all of his energy!

TALIESIN: Inspire Vax.

SAM: I'll inspire Vax.

LIAM: Which one?

SAM: The girl!

TALIESIN: The guy!

SAM: I don't want to inspire him. I want to inspire her.

MARISHA: That's Vex.

SAM: Vex, the girl. I'll say: (singing) Vex is natural, Vex is fun! Vex is good when she's one-on-one.

LIAM: I was next to go, but that's still good.

SAM: I don't know. I was a badger! I don't know what's been going on.

MATT: All right, that completes your turn. You take your inspiration dice. It is now the pixies' run. This one over here at this distance is glancing over and saw its leader get thrashed off to the side after having a series of daggers thrown into it. You attempted to cast a giant beam at that one in the distance as well, though, so I'm going to say it's going to go for you. Keyleth, I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: What? Why that one? I do still have my inspiration.

TALIESIN: This ain't going to be no thing. It's going to be great. It's going to be beautiful.

MARISHA: Natural 20! My voice just cracked, but it's a natural 20.

TALIESIN: Isn't it hilarious that we all have work tomorrow?

MARISHA: It is. No, I have a recording and an audition tomorrow.

LIAM: It actually rolled when you moved the paper.

LAURA: When you moved the paper, you rolled it.

MARISHA: No, I did, guys.

MATT: Roll it again.

LAURA: I'm sorry!

MARISHA: When I revealed it, it was a 20. That's okay. I'm going to do inspiration though, just for safe measure. That's good, so 20 total now.

MATT: 20 total, okay.

MARISHA: That's still exciting.

MATT: As it reaches out towards you, you feel your physical body all of a sudden begins to tighten, and you flex, and it regains its composure. No effect.

MARISHA: And I just give her a– (grunts) from the corner.

MATT: This one here is going to dart past, and as it does, from tree to tree, I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: Straight up 15. Fuck it, I'll use luck. I've got one more. Another 15.

MATT: 15 total? All right, you are currently restrained as your body tightens up and you are unable to move, shift, take any actions.

MARISHA: Did you go, too?

LIAM: I was about to, but not anymore.

MARISHA: Are you petrified, too?

LAURA: No, he's restrained.

MARISHA: Did he get turned to stone?

MATT: His body is beginning to turn to stone right now. His muscles are beginning to tense up. As this one darts past, it is going to attempt to– I need you to make another constitution saving throw, Keyleth, as it watched it fade from the last one.

MARISHA: I don't have any inspiration left. Natural 20! This is a real one, this time! A real one!

TRAVIS: What is the deal?

MATT: We're gone for one week. You guys can save these for throughout the campaign. This is a pixie fight.

LAURA: It's a really powerful pixie fight.

MATT: These are nasty in their strengths. They're not very strong in a lot of things, but the few things they have are pretty good.

MARISHA: We know. We're still terrified.

MATT: Good. Well, you resist your second attempt at being petrified.

LIAM: Am I restrained, or am I slowed?

MATT: You're restrained, which means you can't move. The actual definition: attacks against you have advantage. Your attacks have disadvantage.

LIAM: So I can still do stuff?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: What do freezing up and haste do mixed together? Anything? Cancel out?

MATT: It doesn't cancel out, it just means that you have disadvantage on all of your attacks. Your speed is zero; you can't move.

LIAM: Do I have a third attack?

MATT: You do have a third attack.

LIAM: Very confusing. Feywild, man.

SAM: You're fast and slow.

TALIESIN: Hot and cold.

MATT: This guy here– I need you to make a constitution saving throw as it peeks around the tree from its current position.

LAURA: You get one, and you get one! And I'm going to fail.

SAM: You've got some inspiration, lady.

LAURA: I got inspiration! 21!

MATT: 21. You resist the effect.

SAM: I was right to inspire her after all. Someone's got to live!

TALIESIN: To tell the tale of the death and end of Vox Machina to little people.

LAURA: How many more pixies are there?

MATT: That was the last one going on its turn. Vax, you're up.

LIAM: I am going to dagger, dagger, dagger the pixie in front of Scanlan, so I should get sneak attack? I don't have advantage, so I don't get sneak attack. That's three attacks. First one is shit. 19?

MATT: With disadvantage? Hits.

LIAM: All right. Second one is 19.

MATT: Hits.

LIAM: The last one is a 15.

MATT: Misses. So two hit.

LIAM: Yeah, whatever. 11. And eight. 19 total.

LAURA: Can you poison damage it?


MATT: That one's looking pretty rough right now, actually.

LIAM: And I say: (strained).

MATT: At the end of your turn, I need you to make another constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Come on! Do you have any more luck?

LIAM: No, I used it all up. I didn't cross it off. Two.

MATT: Vax now turns to a solid stone statue, frozen in place. Two members of your party are now turned to stone. All right, that brings us to Keyleth's turn.

MARISHA: I'm going to continue my two steps towards Grog, since he was my first destination, and do Greater Restoration and unpetrify him.

MATT: Okay, what level is that spell?

MARISHA: Fucking 5th.

MATT: 5th-level? Only one of them has Counterspell left, and it's going to attempt it, but since it is at 5th-level, mark that off. It does still have to roll against it. DC is ten plus five, so DC 15.

MARISHA: If they make this, it's bad news.

TRAVIS: They made it, didn't they?

MATT: Yeah. It's a 15 plus three, sorry.

MARISHA: They had to make 15? Not my spell save DC or anything?

MATT: That's not how it works for Counterspell. The good news is they're out of Counterspells.

MARISHA: Fucking fantastic now that I've burnt through two of my top-level ones!

MATT: You reach forward and grab Grog. You see the pulse of energy, and it dissipates. You look over at the edge of the tree. You see one of the pixies darting behind and disappears behind the trunk. That ends your turn. Back to the top. Percy and Vex.

TALIESIN: I'll go. Do you want to go first? I'll go first.

MARISHA: Wait! I wanted to do a bonus action! I did want to do something on a bonus action.

MATT: What do you want to do?

MARISHA: Can I Alter Self my throat and (howls) give a wolf howl?

MATT: Sure, make a performance check.

SAM: Are you calling for the fucking werewolves?

MARISHA: Yes, I'm calling for the lycans. Ooh, that's good. 23.

MATT: Good to know. You howl out into the woods. Ends your turn. Percy, Vex.

TALIESIN: I'm going to flip around and take a shot at that jerk right there with the Retort pistol, not the Bad News. Standard shot. That's a 31 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: And that's 14 points of damage.

MATT: That one is spattered by the impact. You see the chunks of it hit the tree behind, and you see a wing right in front of you, Scanlan.

TALIESIN: I reload. I flip around the other side of the tree.

MATT: Over to this side here?

TALIESIN: Over to this side so I can get a good vantage point on that one that thinks it's hiding right over there. I use my bonus action to cast Hex on him.

MATT: To carry it over?

TALIESIN: Yep, to carry it over. And I take a shot at him. That's 22 to hit?

MATT: 22 hits.

TALIESIN: Ten points of damage. Three necrotic.

MATT: It gets shot. The impact hits the tree next to it, but it splinters and hits it, takes some damage but not a whole lot.

TALIESIN: I'm going to burn an action surge and take three more shots at it.

MATT: You can do that. You're ignoring the cover because of your sharpshooter feat, so go for it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to roll a sharpshooter for that one, as well, which is great because I rolled a two and a natural 20. That's natural 20 with sharpshooter. That also means that I lose that grit. This is going to be great. That's great. Ten, 20, 30, 36 points of damage.

LAURA: How many fairies are left?

MATT: You have currently two fairies left.

LAURA: I don't see them on the board from where I am.

MATT: No, you don't see them. They're hidden.

TALIESIN: I'm taking two more steps, and I'm getting that next fairy that thinks he can fucking hide from me.

MATT: There are two behind this tree and one behind this tree.

TALIESIN: I'm taking one more step out so I can see him. Actually, I have pretty good sight, don't I?

MATT: From there, you can still see him.

TALIESIN: I've got two more shots. I'm going to do the same thing with the sharpshooter deadeye combo. That's right. I can't get Hex until next round, though. 27 to hit.

MATT: Hits. Damage on that one?

TALIESIN: That's 16 points of damage.

MATT: The pixie gets hit and holds itself against the tree. Its wings stop fluttering. It looks over at where the impact came from and stares down at you.

TALIESIN: Another shot at him. Same deal.

LAURA: I can spot him now because I can see where Percy's shooting at, right?

MATT: Yeah.


MATT: Hits.

TALIESIN: Eight points of damage.

MATT: It gets another hit. This one impacts just near it and clips one of its wings. It's still holding in there.

TALIESIN: I dive back around the tree, and that's the end of my turn.

LAURA: Where was it that he was shooting at?

MATT: Over this way.

LAURA: Can Trinket reach it?

MATT: Trinket can try. Trinket's not going to be able to get there, though.

LAURA: Then I'm going to attack it. Can I attack it from where I am?

MATT: You currently have no way of seeing it right now unless you move far enough in that direction. You may.

LAURA: I'm going to try to get into sight.

MATT: That's as far as you can get. I would say it has three-quarters cover, so you can attack it, but it gets plus five to its AC.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to attack it. 23?

MATT: 23 hits.

LAURA: Then I'm going to attack it again with my blazing bowstring. 26.

MATT: That hits.

LAURA: Can I move my Hunter's Mark over?

LIAM: Eye squint says no.

MATT: Sure. Because it's a bonus action, you would've done it.

LAURA: Thanks, man! Okay, seven plus seven. 22 on the first hit. 24 on the second hit.

MATT: (arrows loosed) Off to the side. One arrow actually grabs it by the shoulder and hits it against the tree there, and as it tries to pull the arrow out, which is this giant shaft that's shattered its shoulder entirely, it looks back at you as you take its head off its shoulders.

LAURA: Teeny tiny little piece of shit!

TRAVIS: The cutest swear ever.

LAURA: I can't move anymore?

MATT: No, that's as far as you can move. Does that end your turn? Scanlan, you're up.

SAM: Do I see any of them?

MATT: You do not.

SAM: Shit. I'm going to run as far as I can into the open and see if I can see any of them, while I'm yelling: Where are they?

MATT: You can just barely see two of them behind that tree right there.

SAM: Behind that tree? You mean behind Grog and stuff?

MATT: Behind Grog, Vax, Keyleth, and that cluster.

SAM: Do I have a clear shot? Without killing my friends?

MATT: Depends what you're doing.

SAM: With a Lightning Bolt.

MATT: It's probably going to hit Vax, but who knows the effect lightning would have on stone?

SAM: Well, then I won't do that. I'll cast Bigby's Hand at level seven and punch into that.

LIAM: Big swollen hand, fucking fat veins on the back of the hand.

MARISHA: Have you been lifting, Bigby?

LAURA: You're looking good, Bigby.

MARISHA: You know those Hulk gloves?

MATT: At 7th-level. So it does an additional 4d-whatever it does. So which ability are you using Bigby's Hand?

SAM: Just a big old punch. Pummeling hand. Punching hand.

MATT: The clenched fist. Roll a melee spell attack against its armor class. So roll a d20 and add your spell attack bonus.

SAM: 25.

MATT: That hits. Roll 8d8 force damage.

SAM: 8d8? I don't even have any.

TALIESIN: Here's two more d8.

MATT: It's 4d8, but because you did it two levels higher, it's 8d8.

TALIESIN: Roll them twice. Whoa!

MARISHA: Oh shit. You're a force to be reckoned with. They were all above seven.

TALIESIN: You're going to leave an impression in the tree.

SAM: 45.

MATT: Where once there was a pixie, there is a brief spatter of reddish-pink mist, and nothing thereafter. Bigby's Hand has sent it so hard to its afterlife that there is a small black mark on the tree nearby where it once was, just an echo of its existence at one point.

TALIESIN: You just clapped a fairy to death. That's actually literally the opposite.

MARISHA: High five! Aw.

SAM: Is that all the pixies?

TALIESIN: There's one left.

LAURA: We shouldn't kill it! See if it can unfreeze our friends!

SAM: I got nothing left. That was my action and bonus.

MATT: All right, end of Scanlan's turn. The pixie then turns about and begins running. As it disappears past the trees a little bit, you watch as a large, dark form lands right in front of it. It stops for a second, and two giant claws reach down and grasp it in its hand, pick it up, and you can see before you, Lord Ukurat is now clutching this one pixie that was trying to escape. Looks inside for a second. (chuckles) “Vengeance is tasty.” (chomps) “Not very filling.” Stomps forward.

LAURA: Be confident!

MATT: “So. You called.”

SAM: We called because our plan worked perfectly, and we were able to fulfill your deal to the letter, as we had always intended.

MATT: Make a deception check.

MARISHA: Come on, Scanlan!

SAM: I think I'm still at disadvantage.

MATT: On ability checks, you are.

SAM: With disadvantage, it's a 30.

MATT: You can also add your own bardic inspiration to your ability checks now because you're level 14. But if you feel pretty confident with it–

SAM: I'm okay with 30.

LAURA: Oh no! Should you add it? Add it!

MATT: It's too late.

SAM: We'll never know.

MATT: You're going to know pretty quick. As you say this, he comes forward and gets really low to the ground with his arms out at the sides, face right up to you. He could snatch you up in one bite. He goes, “Clever gnome.” Stands back up. “So. One pixie, two pixie, three, four. Where is their leader?”

TALIESIN: I walk over and scrape the tree.

MATT: Takes a look at it. (howls) All the rest of the various members of his clan of the Fendirs begin to arrive in the distance. “Yes, my lord?” “The mystic is dead. Wipe up the village. Come. You have the rest of your deal to attend to.” Turns around and begins walking back toward the city of the pixies.

LAURA: We have some friends that are stone right now.

MATT: “Then bring them along!”

SAM: Keyleth, do you need help?

MARISHA: I take my last 5th-level spell to dump a Greater Restoration into Grog to bring him back from petrification.

SAM: You can't do it to two people at the same time?

MARISHA: I can burn my 7th-level spell to bring back Vax.

LAURA: Maybe you should do that.

MARISHA: I will burn my 7th-level spell to Greater Restoration Vax and bring him back.

MATT: You come to consciousness, Grog, suddenly, in a different space than you recall, a little stiff in the joints, like you just had a really bad night's sleep across a whole pallet of broken rock.

TRAVIS: Diplomacy really isn't that bad!

LAURA: It's not so bad. Good job, Grog.

TRAVIS: I'm going to throw my weapons in the river. Hold on, I'll be right back.

MARISHA: You make a great parade balloon, by the way. You look great.

TRAVIS: Why, thank you.

MATT: Vax, as you come to, the heat of the moment, you catch your breath again, and feel that achiness in your joints.

LIAM: I do, I literally do.

LAURA: Doesn't feel so good, does it? Hey, remember when I was made into stone? We're twinkies.

LIAM: Twinkies? I don't think that's the term you're reaching for.

TRAVIS: All the wolves are back. What happened?

TALIESIN: We are going to finish off the fairies.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

TALIESIN: Yes, really.

TRAVIS: Oh, so something happened, didn't it?


SAM: Sorry, Grog.

TALIESIN: It was all your fault, really. You were very helpful.

MARISHA: To be fair, I tried. Those fairies are shifty little shits.

TRAVIS: Really? They fought hard? We're going to kill more now?

SAM: Probably.

TRAVIS: Any tips? Advice?

TALIESIN: Hit hard, repeatedly.

SAM: Don't use any of your lower-level spells.

TRAVIS: Don't think that's a problem.

TALIESIN: No, you burned your lower-level spells.

MARISHA: I am burnt out on all my higher-level spells.

TRAVIS: Are we cool with the wolves now?

TALIESIN: We're starting to be.

LAURA: We have to go finish what we started, though. They want us to still desecrate the stones.

LIAM: Scanlan?

SAM: I'm ready. I've eaten a lot of things today.

MATT: Garmelie appears behind one of the trees. “Is everything cool? Everything good?”

MARISHA: Oh my god, you're still here!

MATT: “Okay. No, I was– got you guys' back.”

LAURA: Did you draw a lot of the fight? I hope you did, because we kicked some ass there.

MATT: He opens his sketch pad, and you can see there's a bunch of hastily drawn sketches of Vax turned to stone with his finger up his nose, Grog in the ground with his stone thumb up his butt, smiling with his other thumb up in the air like he was. And the rest of you fumbling your attacks as the pixies are laughing.

LAURA: Sweet. Nice. Very good. That tree just moved.

TALIESIN: They do that here.

MATT: Welcome to the Feywild. So you guys make your way nightward? Following the Fendirs?

TALIESIN: I guess it's the only way out of here.

MATT: You journey with them. They make a pretty quick pace. Even at your fastest, you resort to tracking them. They're moving with quite alacrity and they know this forest really well. As you guys begin to approach the outskirts of the little grove where the Wishers existed, you see a heavy battle has just begun to calm down. You see two additional wolf statues now stand amongst the area, but the abodes have been destroyed. You see that the tiger has grabbed a pixie and tears it in half. A couple others that have been darting off in the distance, trying to escape, three more of the wolves jump up into the trees, and you see them jumping from branch to branch before their lights–

MARISHA: We tried. I didn't want this to happen.

TALIESIN: It's a violent world.

MATT: At this point, they all begin to slowly gather again towards the center of the town, or what used to be the pixie town. From the treetop, (boom) Lord Ukurat lands next to the stone circle, looks out towards you guys, even beyond the tree line.

SAM: Grog, care to do the honors?

TRAVIS: Absolutely. I walk up to Lord Pup.

LIAM: I'm going to follow close behind Grog.

MATT: All the rest of the Fendirs, which are now a few more in number than you initially met before. We have two more that have turned to stone, so there's now five total that are stone in the center of this village, but looks to be about nine of them now gathered up centrally to this space, Lord Ukurat in the center. They're beginning to follow in around you guys, keeping a perimeter. Ukurat looks down at you as you approach. “So. Honor comes at the end of the journey. We made a pact, and you completed your end. We complete ours. You are free to pass through this forest.” As Lord Ukurat reaches down and grabs two of the stones, you can see as his fingers grab them, they're burning his palms, singeing. There's a bunch of energy pushing back on him as his fur is blown and there's a bright light emanating from the center of the circle. Wrestles them forth from the ground. As he does, there's a crack of thunder that cascades throughout the center of the forest. All of you feel the impact. The stone circle, the glowing quartz now dims and goes cold. The center where it used to be vibrant grass slowly turns to a dull gray and withers between the stones. Throws them to the ground. “Now, we are all free. You say you travel duskward to the corrupted tree, yes?”


MATT: “I will follow as my people find a new home for tonight. Should you need my help, just call, and I will be at your back.”

LAURA: You are a powerful ally.

MATT: “As are you. Brethren, go. Spread. Find a home again. I will return to you once this debt is paid. Now, I'll be watching.” He leaps into the treetops as the rest of the wolves begin to back away from you and vanish into the shadows of the forest.

LAURA: Is there anything around that looks good to take?

SAM: Should we loot the mini city?

TALIESIN: I am abso-fucking-lutely looting this city. Are you mad?

SAM: They're tiny thimbles full of nothing!

TALIESIN: I have a dollhouse at home! There are things that are necessary! Jesus.

MATT: You are welcome to make some investigation checks to scour through the remains of this pixie village.

SAM: 17 for me.

LAURA: 23.

MATT: 23. What was it again, sorry?


MATT: The rest of you guys keeping back on this?

TALIESIN: I'm taking the crystals, too. The dead crystals.

MATT: You take the dead crystals, and the rest of them lift up like any other crystals. They're lighter than you expected. They seem almost frail, like a volcanic rock in lightness and brittleness, but more dense. You take those, keep them to yourself. You guys look about, and most any pixie furniture has been destroyed. In searching through, you do find in some of the homes a number of well-polished gems. You find two sapphires that are worth, after looking over them for a bit, in your experience with gems, about 200 gold apiece. You find one cracked diamond. It was very well-cut at one time. As such, what would have been worth thousands of gold now is maybe close to a thousand gold at most. It can maybe be repaired or brought to somebody who can fix it up. It might be worth more. You also find what looks to be a really intricately carved onyx statue of a dog, about that big. It's really well-carved. Other than that, most everything else is just inconsequential decorations that wouldn't be much help to you, as they were smaller people.

TALIESIN: I say we get to the edge, out of this forest, and then maybe call it a night.

MARISHA: I'm a bit tapped on my higher-level energy, but can I maybe take a minute to ritual cast Greater Restoration on the two new statues of the lycanthropes?

MATT: Is that a ritual? I don't believe it can be cast as a ritual, can it?

MARISHA: Greater Restoration? I can't take my time with it?

MATT: You would have to stay here the night and do it again.

MARISHA: They'll figure it out.

TRAVIS: The gray ground that's been burned, is it just…

MATT: Just where the circle was.

TRAVIS: Not everything else?

MATT: No. Just the circle.

TRAVIS: I feel like we just killed FernGully.

LAURA: Yeah, I know. We did kill FernGully.

LIAM: Yeah, but if they had any good in their heart, why would they be trapping travelers of any kind?

LAURA: They weren't trapping travelers of any kind, they were trapping the lycans.

TALIESIN: Then they trapped us!

LAURA: Yeah, but then they let us out.

TALIESIN: They didn't really let us out.

SAM: Everyone was bad, including us, and we lived. That's it.

MATT: You guys begin trekking duskward again, finally getting to the outskirts of the city. As you reach the outer perimeter of the forest, you reach up and you find no barrier there. It has been dispelled, and you guys step forth into the field, hearing now as you travel further northward, duskward, the gentle sounds of rushing water begin to approach. Garmelie glances past you and goes, “Well, good news. We've reached the Gilded Run.”

TRAVIS: Oh, we're here!

MATT: “Bad news, we've reached the Gilded Run.”

LAURA: Let's sleep in the mansion tonight.

MARISHA: I'm pretty tapped out.

SAM: I would love to.

LAURA: But you can't?

SAM: I used my 7th-level spell to kill a pixie.

TRAVIS: Why is reaching the Gilded Run a bad thing?

MATT: “It's a difficult thing to pass. Those rivers are quite expedient.”

TRAVIS: Like rapids?

MATT: “Yeah.”

MARISHA: If we sleep, I can come prepared with lots of Control Water spells.

SAM: Maybe we can sleep in the treetops, where Lord Ukurat sleeps.

LAURA: Yeah, let's sleep up in the trees tonight, before we make our way into this area.

MATT: You guys head back into the Moonbrush. You ascend up into the canopy and prepare yourselves, finding an area of branches that can be cleared to give yourself a comfortable space to stay for the evening.

LAURA: You realize it's only been an hour since we slept last, but it's all nighty.

MATT: Well, travel to and from the center of the forest has taken a few hours, so it's been a while.

TALIESIN: We're tapped. We had a long day.

MARISHA: It wouldn't be that bad if I didn't get Counterspelled twice. Fucking fairies.

MATT: Hey, man. It's what they do.

TRAVIS: Must've been a cool fight.

MATT: As you guys make yourselves restful and set, you all begin to fall asleep to the distant sound of howling as it gets more and more faint. The sleep takes you to prepare for the next run of your journey, next week in Indianapolis! We'll see you guys at GenCon for the next episode as you guys approach the Gilded Run and the Shademirk itself, seemingly getting closer to the end of your journey in the Feywild. We'll see how this plays out.

TRAVIS: With werewolves in tow.

MATT: A werewolf in tow, that you know of.

TRAVIS: Not the rest of them?

LAURA: No, but Lord Big Badass is going to help us.

TRAVIS: He's going to steal our shit.

LAURA: He might try to.

SAM: We'll give him Garmelie if we have to.

MARISHA: Yeah, at the break you were talking about how badly you wanted to kill things.

LAURA: And you didn't get to do any of it!

TRAVIS: I was trying to be diplomatic, all right? I checked off the box!

MARISHA: You did, you tried.

TRAVIS: Next time, napalm.

MATT: It was an unfortunate circumstance. The wound above the eye, the lack of decent diplomacy, their fear of the spread of lycanthropy–

TRAVIS: I even gave willingly.

TALIESIN: You did. You've grown.

MARISHA: It was a good moment for Grog.

LAURA: Hey, we're going to have werewolves everywhere now, guys. We just let it out.

MARISHA: Yeah, we let the disease spread?

TRAVIS: Not yet we haven't.

MARISHA: You want to be a werewolf so bad. You're just saying that because you want to be one so bad.

MATT: Thank you so much! We'll see you guys at GenCon next Saturday at 8pm Eastern, that would be 5pm Pacific time, streaming next Saturday.

LAURA: Thank you, Backblaze!

SAM: No show Thursday!

MATT: Just the Saturday show.

MARISHA: Saturday.

MATT: So guys, have a good night, rest well, and we'll see you next week.