"Critical Role: Grog's One-Shot" (Sx26) is the twenty-sixth special episode of Critical Role. Grog Strongjaw plays a game of "Bunions and Flagons" with Percy de Rolo, Scanlan Shorthalt, Vax'ildan, and Vex'ahlia.
Synopsis[]
Announcements[]
- Travis Willingham announces that all DM mistakes tonight are Grog's fault, not his.
- Team up with Thor for prizes in Marvel PuzzleQuest! Download for free on Apple Store, Google Play, Amazon, or Steam. Sam Riegel imitates Grog as he reads the ad copy that Pike Trickfoot transcribed from Grog.
- Merch Alert! Vox Machina dice from the previous week and a scarf with "How do you want to do this?" emblazoned on it.
- Matt Mercer and Marisha Ray will attend Pax Unplugged in Philadelphia. Festival begins on Friday, November 17, 2017. Travis and Laura Bailey will attend Australian festival Supanova during that time. Some will attend BlizzCon. As such, "Gather Your Party" will be replaced by "Tales from the Loop".
- Next week, Marisha will DM "Trinket's Honey Heist" (Sx27), where all the characters are bears.
- Join the cast on Thursday, December 14th at the regular Thursday time slot for the upcoming "Talks Machina: Campaign Wrap-up" (Sx31), discussing the entire first campaign.
- Laura has joined the cast of The Last of Us Part II.
Part I[]
Grog assembles his confused friends Vex, Vax, Scanlan, and Percy in Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion to play a game he's heard about: "Bunions & Flagons". Grog's even drawn character art!
The session begins in a nearly deserted tavern in the wee hours of the morning. Pike has had too much to drink and vomits over everything and everyone, including a nearby couple: a tusk-toothed, green-skinned half-orc accompanied by a blue-skinned woman and a small baby. There are a few jabs exchanged before the couple leaves, and Grog pays for a room and chucks Pike in it. Vex and Percy fetch a second round from the cellar, including some Sandkheg's Hide, while Vax and Scanlan bring a cask from the pig sty at the barkeep's request. During the resumed festivities, all five become woozy and fall through the floor.
They awaken, completely sober, in a dim cavern that definitely doesn't resemble genitalia. The five and Trinket travel down a corridor and pass through a poison arrow trap. Scanlan is hit three times, including in the rear, and Vax sucks the poison out from it. Once through that, a spectral form rushes them from behind and attacks. Succeeding in the skirmish, the party enters the next room, which certainly doesn't resemble a secondary sex characteristic. They're attacked by two hell hounds which Vex and Trinket finish off. While looking in the chambers, Grog retrieves 20 platinum pieces and Vex finds a pile of poop. The party enters a door that was further away in the next chamber and safely falls into another chamber. They find five doors with geometric symbols above leading to identical rooms; one door is open and its doorway has a star above it. The party inspects the room behind the door and Scanlan poisons some meat. Grog transforms into an amorphous, shapeless creature and they realize he is in fact a doppelganger which starts to choke Vex, who was trying to find the logic behind this puzzle. The party battles the creature and Percy finishes it off with Diplomacy.
Fan art of Vox Machina playing Bunions and Flagons, by Hugo Cardenas.[art 1]
Break[]
- Marvel PuzzleQuest: team up with Thor and compete for prizes in lightning-rounds.
- Game Engine: Blizzard Some-Access Tour! Brandy Camel, the Associate Community Manager of Diablo, and company tour what's new in Diablo with us.
- Learn how to play Mountains of Madness, a Lovecraftian board game, from IELLOW Games with host Becca Scott.
Part II[]
The party decides to enter one room each: Vex takes the one with the money symbol on it, Scanlan the one with a square symbol (a cube), Vax the triangle (with three points like daggers), and Percy the circle one (circular glasses). They find themselves in identical rooms with a few objects in them and locked hatches in the ceiling. Percy, Vax, and Scanlan are attacked by animated objects (a twig blight, a mimic and a rug of smothering). After a few rounds, they are able to deal with them and the latches of the hatches open. They climb into another chamber separated into five sections of force fields. In the section above the star room is an unconscious humanoid body. In the middle, there's also a tower veiled by a force field. Suddenly, a flash. A mind flayer, a cambion, a unicorn, and a T-Rex appear in each chamber, except the one with an unconscious body in it.
Percy is able to restrain the mind flayer with Manners and hits it multiple times with the Dragon Slayer Longsword, defeating it easily. Vex tries to take a more diplomatic approach with the unicorn by arguing with it, without success, as the unicorn keeps attacking her. She is able to restrain it with Grasping Vines and takes to the air, still trying to dissuade the creature from attacking her. Scanlan turns himself into a triceratops and brawls with the T-Rex, but it's not enough to hit it. Vax uses Faerie Fire on the cambion and tries to bring it to the edge, but the cambion successfully casts Command on Vax and forces him to grovel in front of him. On Vax's next turn, he's able to finish the cambion. Scanlan, now returned to his gnome form, casts Reverse Gravity and sends the T-Rex upward into the force field, crushing it. The unicorn is now convinced by Vex's arguments, saying that since she showed it great respect, her kindness will live throughout the ages and all unicorns will be told of her mercy. The unicorn kneels down, its horn on the ground, and all of the enemies and force fields disappear.
Percy examines the unconscious body, which appears to have been mauled by something. At the same time, Scanlan feeds Trinket the poisoned meat, and Trinket falls unconscious. Vex immediately heals him and casts Speak with Animals, asking what happened. Trinket points suspicion at Scanlan, but Scanlan tries to blame the unicorn's magic. They're interrupted by an explosion at the top of the tower. Climbing up, the party encounters Grog. He explains he went through the same troubles they all underwent, passing through the room with a star on it (for the Dallas Cowboys). In the meantime, a cloaked levitating female figure appears and sings Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler. Grog rages and transforms into a werewolf, attacking. Everyone rolls initiative.
Grog, wounded from his previous encounters, is brought to the edge in just one round, Percy finishes him with his longsword. The cloaked woman is in fact Trisha and tells them the champion has fallen and teleports them with Grog's unconscious body back to the tavern. Bobaline is shocked. Vax tries to shave off a part of Grog's beard, but the werewolf power regrows any shaven hair. Scanlan casts Wish to give Trisha persistent gonorrhea. The Bunion Master Grog asks the players the moral of the story. They tell him it's that Grog is great and they need him, or they need to kill him in the end.
Featured Characters[]
Vox Machina[]
Keyleth(absent; mentioned only)- Percival de Rolo
- Scanlan Shorthalt
- Grog Strongjaw (DM-controlled)
- Pike Trickfoot (DM-controlled)
- Vax'ildan
- Vex'ahlia
New[]
- Bobaline, barkeep of the unnamed tavern
- Timothy, son of Bobaline
Returning[]
Mentioned[]
Quotations[]
- Travis: (Takes long drink from flagon) Ahh! We're fucking doing this.
- Grog: Hey, hey. Look, I know we've got a night to ourselves. I was wondering if maybe we could all like play a game I heard about...right, so I was in the tavern the other day, right? And I heard about this game, uh, I think it's called: 'Bunions and Flagons', right? And you all are going to play little, itty-bitty, versions of yourselves. And all you have to do is use your imaginations. I'm going to tell you a story and then, like, you contribute, tell me what you want to do, and I'll draw out little maps and we'll go on an adventure.
- Grog: Pike gets up and she's like...(drunken slurring) you guys, I---I love being...your friends. (Laura, Liam, Sam, and Taliesin burst into laughter)
Taliesin: Too real.
Liam: Dimensional distortion there for a second. - Grog: Make a perception check.
Vex: Okay...erm, a 31.
Grog: You don't see anything, unfortunately. It's just unfortunate. (Sam, Liam, and Taliesin roar with laughter. Laura is not amused.)
Vex: Grog, Grog! 31 is higher than 15! 31's really high. It's high!
Grog: (Pause) Right, so you see, uh, her genealogy going back like, uh, four generations. You see...
Vex: Do you even know what genealogy is?
Grog: Yeah, it's like, you know, a blue denim. - Grog: In this game, if you notice something, call it out to each other. Because what one person sees, the other...some of you might not see. And just cause you know it at the table, doesn't mean you know it in your minds.
Vex: Wow, this game's so smart.
Vax: You made that, you just made that up.
Grog: No, that's how this goes, I promise.
Vax: Where did you learn this game?
Grog: I was in a tavern and this long-haired guy was just playing a game at a table and I thought it was fuckin' great. I watched for a while, like hours. I was hooked. I might go back next week and watch. - Vax: But, you said that there were no points, and you got points?
Grog: No, no, they're not points. They're XP.
Scanlan: What does that stand for Grog?
Grog: Xylophone Players
(Sam bursts into laughter)
Percy: 300 Xylophone Players. My God, you could retire on that. In fact, you can retire quite well on that. - Vex: Trinket, what happened?!
Grog: (doing a Trinket impression) Well, I had the worst stomachache. Oh, I don't know... I ate that meatball from Scanlan and then I fuckin' died... (The cast laughs) I don't want to make any assumptions, but... (The cast and crew of Critical Role burst out laughing)
Trivia[]
- The idea for Grog to run a one-shot seemed to be invented on the spot in "Talks Machina #7: 'Thordak'" (TMx07), ten months earlier.[1]
- The half-orc and tiefling couple with a baby that the party meets early in their adventure is an early reference to Fjord and Jester Lavorre, and to Travis and Laura's then-unborn baby. Laura's pregnancy wasn't publicly announced until a few months later.[2]
References[]
- ↑ See "Talks Machina #7: 'Thordak'" (TMx07) at 1:10:10.
- ↑ See "Critical Role Campaign 2 Wrap Up" (Sx56) at 0:46:09.
Art:
- ↑ Fan art of Vox Machina playing Bunions and Flagons, by Hugo Cardenas (source). Used with permission.