CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley

CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley
"CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley" thumbnail featuring John Bradley
Airdate	2017-08-03
Running time	1:04:51
Episode link	VOD
Transcript	Transcript
Starring
Laura Bailey – Vex'ahlia John Bradley – Mankum Dan Casey – Dupont Dupont Jessica Chobot – Dietrich Liam O'Brien – Vax'ildan Matthew Mercer – DM
Airdate Order
Previous	"Talks Machina #33: 'The Endless Atheneum'" (TMx33)
Next	"Scaldseat" (1x107)

"CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley" is a semi-canon special episode of Critical Role. Like the canonical one-shot "CelebriD&D with Joe Manganiello", it features two members of Vox Machina adventuring with three other individuals: Vex'ahlia, Vax'ildan, Mankum, Dietrich, and Dupont Dupont. Matthew Mercer leads the adventurers through the dangers and the stench of a cannibalistic orc camp.

Synopsis

Introduction

When traversing the open road of the Blackvalley Path from Jorenn Village to Westruun, it's best to travel in numbers, if those numbers are large enough that is. For not two days travel with the caravan southward the sounds of war drums and savage battle cries suddenly fill the air. Hired guards encircle the patrons, only to be cut down by a hooked blade and poisoned arrow. Ravagers, the scattered orc raiding band, bear down on you and your traveling companions. You fight to the best of your ability, harnessing the fight side of your fight-or-flight, but the orc numbers are overwhelming. You hear a terrible roar, a deep resonant bellow in the distance behind you. You turn to see—[whack]—a sharp pain in the back of your skull, then darkness. Time passes, an almost infinite-seeming period of time without thought... dreams... and groggily you find yourselves awakening, your body sore and stiff. You instinctually tug and pull, and you find your wrists and ankles bound by ragged dry rope that scrapes against the exterior of your skin as you try and tug against it. Your eyes slowly widen and in the small flickers of firelight that enter this medium-sized tent, seemingly covered from a night-based exterior, you see piles of spoils: jewelry and dried meats, and what appears to be a number of other individuals that are not moving. You glance around to see five others who are also finding consciousness at seemingly in the same level of pain, the life that you're currently finding yourselves in, begin to rouse, quietly acknowledging with eyesight who is around you and awake.

Gameplay

The adventurers wake up in their armor to be greeted by their fellow captive Hubris, a tiefling. After he introduces himself, an orc who'd been guarding outside the tent peers in and threatens to gut the captives if they don't stay quiet. The adventurers, realizing they've been disarmed, start working on freeing themselves from their rope bindings; Dietrich summons his imp, nicknamed PBH because saying his real name causes him to disappear.

The adventurers gradually slip free and begin quietly looking for weapons. They can find only jewelry, clothes, a wagon wheel, and other scavenged items. Vax and Mankum peer out of the tent, seeing the one guard immediately outside the tent and a bonfire, and they notice they are in a cavern network. They see a few other orcs patrolling or guarding nearby, and they notice that there are humanoid body parts cooking over the fire. As the adventurers discuss plans of escape, Dietrich uses Disguise Self to appear like an orc, and Vex suggests luring in the nearby guard, blinding him with a sack over his head, and working together to pummel him. For improvised weapons, Dietrich suggests a wagon wheel, and Mankum proposes to use a bunch of rings (some jewelry, some blacksmithed heavy iron rings) as makeshift knuckle dusters. Mankum also thinks of using Stinking Cloud to incapacitate the other nearby orcs after the guard is taken down.

Dietrich's ruse as a fellow orc asking for help with the prisoners succeeds in luring the guard inside. Dupont doesn't manage to get the sack over the orc's head, but the adventurers do take down the guard quickly. Dietrich's long-shot attempt to fool the remaining guards fails, and Mankum hits them with the Stinking Cloud, disabling all three orcs but also making an audible boom as the methane ignites on the bonfire. The adventurers make a beeline for the tent where their weapons and gear are hoarded, and arm themselves in less than half a minute.

Knowing that reinforcements are coming, Vex'ahlia casts Spike Growth on the area outside the tent, which wounds the feet of two approaching orcs. Dietrich uses the Repelling Blast invocation on her Eldritch Blast to knock one of the orcs into the Stinking Cloud behind him. The other orc dodged the bolt and responded with a powerful cut of his jagged greatsword, wounding Dietrich. Another orc, rushing up to the fight, deals Dietrich a second cut with a longsword. To help the now-seriously-wounded Dietrich, Dupont plunges into battle against the orc with the greatsword, misses with his off-hand, but mortally guts the orc from sternum to neck with his main dagger. As the longsword-wielding orc moves against Dupont, Vex'ahlia puts two arrows in him, taking him down.

Seeing four orcs helplessly retching in his Cloud, Mankum targets one with his crossbow, and in two shots deals a deadly wound to the torso. Vax'ildan follows up by expertly killing another incapacitated orc with a Flametongue Dagger between the eyes. With two orcs left gagging in the Cloud, the adventurers hear more orcs coming, but Vex'ahlia takes the time to cast a modest Cure Wounds on poor Dietrich. They leave the vomiting orcs behind and seek an exit.

At a fork, they see more caverns to the left, and a glint of daylight to their right, behind several tents and a giant iron cage. Dupont wants to check the tents for coin; Vex'ahlia points out that there might be more prisoners in them, and Dupont says, sure, that's what he meant. Dupont and Vax'ildan, as the stealthy rogues, take the lead, while the others also creep forward in the shadows. Unfortunately, as seven orcs rush toward the Cloud in the area the adventurers just left, one of them notices Vex'ahlia. Vex tries to hit him in the throat with a lightning arrow to silence him, but she hits his chest, and his death groan alerts two more of the Ravagers. Mankum initially wants to fire a crossbow at one of them, but instead, realizing that the orcs have only seen Vex so far, uses Invisibility on both her and himself. They start throwing rocks deeper into the cavern to throw the orcs off the scent and give the party a chance to make a run for it. Two of the orcs take the bait; a third is suspicious.

Unfortunately, once again, not all members of the party are stealthy enough. Multiple sets of footfalls alert the orc who stayed behind, and he gives chase. Vax, who had remained quiet, steps behind one of the tents, hoping to catch the orc as he passes, and Dupont tries to create a distraction for him by waving and shouting. This only leads one orc to yell, "Chieftain! Release!"

The giant iron cage topples open, and a cyclops emerges. The giant is furious, apparently having been tortured, and its battle cries remind the adventurers of the last thing they heard before they were knocked out earlier. The cyclops is clearly a threat to the adventurers, and the last obstacle between them and the cave entrance. Vax acts quickly, flinging a dagger into the giant torso, then goes back behind a tent to hide. Mankum and Vex'ahlia, both invisible, grasp the ends of a length of rope and rush at the cyclops, hoping to trip him with their mostly invisible rope. Sadly, Vex'ahlia doesn't have the strength for it, so when the cyclops steps forward, Vex is painfully flung to the floor. The rope remains tangled around one leg, but with no effect so far. Mankum inspires Dupont with encouragement to contribute.

Seeing Dupont coming at him, the cyclops rushes in, dragging Vex behind him on the rope. Using a bench serving as a sort of greatclub, he lands what would be a crushing hit on Dupont, but the rogue spins to dodge the worst of the hit.

At this point, a bunch of orcs are just watching from a distance, cheering on the combat like a gladiatorial event, excited to see one of their captive entities crush the escapees.

Dupont aims his crossbow deliberately for the cyclops's eye, and because of Mankum's inspiration, scores a direct hit, causing the giant to howl with pain as he's blinded. Dietrich follows up by enveloping the creature in a cold, tentacle-filled Hunger of Hadar void. Hubris picks up a shortsword from one of the fallen orcs and rushes the cyclops, but can't make an effective strike. Vax'ildan takes advantage of the giant's blindness and throws a much more effective dagger, then quickly throws it again since he doesn't need to hide.

Mankum decides to do something about the spectating orcs. With a Suggestion spell, he convinces the biggest orc that the Ravagers shouldn't fight him. When other orcs tell the enchanted orc to shut up and one punches his face, a brawl among the orcs immediately ensues and escalates to the use of blades.

Vex'ahlia, meanwhile, exploits the giant's blindness to put two very well-placed arrows into the cyclops, then tries to run past it for the exit. The cyclops, however, hears her nearby, and smashes her with a blow from its makeshift "club"... and while she's lifted several feet in the air from the first swing, comes down with a second, crushing hit that easily knocks her unconscious.

Dupont rushes in, barely avoids another hammering swing from the cyclops, and administers a healing potion to get Vex conscious again. At the same time, Dietrich's hungry void deals some serious damage to the giant, putting it in great pain and on the verge of falling. Dietrich lines up a new Eldritch Blast; the first hit tears open the target's weapon arm, he dodges a retaliatory backswing, and the second bolt hits the same spot that Vex's arrow did in the throat. The giant succumbs to the damage and is swallowed entirely by the imploding void.

The party wants to take advantage of the distraction among the orcs and run, but Vex comes across her bear companion Trinket, who is collared and chained to the floor. Once again, physical strength isn't her strong suit, and she can't dislodge the chain from the floor. Her twin tries to pull her by the waist to help, but to no avail. Nor does it help when Dupont tries grabbing Vax's waist in turn. Trinket is impatient and getting somewhat panicked, but Mankum calms the bear down and gets him to work with the party. Dietrich uses one more Eldritch Blast to burst the chain, causing Vex, Vax, and Dupont to fall back in a heap.

The orcs finally get suspicious and notice their prisoners getting away, but it's too late as the party emerges into the daylight and into waist-deep grass. The adventurers have escaped with some jewelry and their lives, but the rest of the caravan is presumably lost.

Featured characters

Player characters

(all 6th-level characters)

• Dietrich, a tiefling warlock
• Dupont Dupont, a dwarven rogue
• Mankum, a gnome bard
• Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue and member of Vox Machina
• Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger and member of Vox Machina

NPCs

• Hubris, a tiefling
• PBH, Dietrich's imp familiar

Trivia

• Vex'ahlia states that she had previously worked with Dupont Dupont. This is presumably a reference to "D&Diesel" (Sx03), though their characters had higher levels in that adventure, which was also set during Vox Machina's six-month break from adventuring in 810 PD.

References

Art: