List of Transcripts


MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Before we dive into tonight's episode, we have some announcements to get through, so hang tight for just a moment. We have two fantastic sponsors for tonight's episode, the first, of course, our fantastic returning friends and allies in this Campaign Two: D&D Beyond. Sam?

SAM: D&D Beyond, everybody. It's almost Thanksgiving time and I thought, what better for us to do than to thank our long-time sponsor D&D Beyond. They've been with us all campaign, we hope into the next year, so as a token of our appreciation, we put together a highlight reel of all my best moments from all the best D&D Beyond ads of the year, so roll that clip, gentlemen, and we're going to-- Hold on. I've just been handed something. Okay. I'm being told that we don't have that clip, which is disappointing because we had meetings about this all week, I talked to editors about this, and this was important to me, and to– Okay, sorry. Okay, I'm being told that we did not have meetings all week about this, and this is a bit that I wrote about an hour ago. Needless to say, I feel like D&D Beyond is going to not like this because we've taken them on this rollercoaster of emotions now, and they're going to be pretty pissed off, they may pull their sponsorship dollars-- Okay, now I'm being told that no, they will not pull their sponsorship dollars because they really just want me to read the ad copy that they provided me two days ago. So I'll just read that now, and they'll be happy. As a reminder from last week, Dungeon of the Mad Mage and the Magic: The Gathering D&D crossover, Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica, are available now in the D&D Beyond marketplace. Be sure to pick up yours at Okay, fine, so maybe they're a great company, but I feel like they're going to resent me for-- I am being told that no, they're not going to resent me at all, and in fact they have a promo code named after me. The promo code is "SamIsOurHero"-- not case sensitive-- it can be used right now for 25% off all digital books, including those two books I just mentioned earlier, so go to the store right now and use it. Okay, forget about D&D Beyond, all right? The fans will be pissed off at me, right? They will think that I'm an awful human being, they'll drag my name on Reddit-- I'm being told now that there's nothing written on any of these pieces of paper, and this is just a thinly-veiled attempt to get attention to myself because I am very insecure, I have these deep-seated problems, and-- I'm being told now that I'm actually pretty happy, and I don't have any deep-seated depression or anything like that, and I'm a pretty good guy. Wow, I really think, guys, that this bit has been a journey for all of us, and I feel like we've all learned something about ourselves, and about– Nope, I'm being told we have not learned anything, and that I'm to wrap it up, so back to you, Matt!

MATT: Thank you, Sam.

TRAVIS: We're going to recycle all those papers, right?

MATT: Yes. May you enjoy your ever-future in race car beds. Thank you, D&D Beyond, for being our friends and allies in this. Our secondary sponsor tonight is the fantastic company Thinkfun's Shadows in the Forest game. For those who haven't seen it, this is the reimagining of the classic game Waldschattenspiel-- I know I pronounced it terribly-- but Thinkfun licensed it, maybe. Shadows in the Forest is the only collaborative board game that you actually play in the dark. In the game you play as Shadowlings, they're these scattered gnomish-like creatures that hide in the shadows and live in the forest, and it's really cool. You all have to work together to try and meet under a singular tree on the board while one of the players plays as a lantern, an actual physical lantern that gives off light, and so you can only move within the shadows, and if the player moves the light--

SAM: That sounds awesome!

MATT: It's really cool.

TALIESIN: I brought a copy, actually, I forgot to bring it out onto the table, but I have a copy that we'll probably play.

MATT: It's really cool, because if you're playing one of the shadows and you're caught in the light, you can't move, and if the person who's playing the light manages to catch all the Shadowlings in the light, they win, but if all the Shadowlings manage to meet under there-- It actually uses–

MARISHA: They did a creepy animation for a promo that's during the break.

TALIESIN: It's got little stand-up trees, and the little creatures are very Miyazaki-looking, and the whole thing's got a very Candyland for goth kids vibe. The dice glow, which I also think is really cool.

MATT: It's pretty fun. So you can check it out on Amazon, and it's currently at 20% off there for a limited time, so make sure to pick up your copy now if you plan to. It is Shadows in the Forest, and it is awesome and I'm really excited to try it out. Next up, lets see, Travis do you want to go ahead and talk a little bit about Operation Supply Drop?

TRAVIS: Yes! Operation Supply Drop is my charity that we are supporting this November in honor of Veterans Day. OSD is an amazing charity. They've helped over 750,000 members of the military community. In active service, in their transition back to civilian life, they help the families of the people that have served. These guys are so great. They have skill fairs, they help people with job training, resumes, anything that'll take them from being a military back into the real world. To me, it's so personal. My family has been in the military for, oh god, decades. So if you can, share with your friends and family, give a little love. Everything you need to know about the charity, or just donate, is at

MATT: Thank you guys for your amazing support of this initiative. It's been awesome to watch all the Critters come together to help support our troops there. It's been awesome. We also have a bunch of new live content coming to our Critical Role Twitch stream in the next few weeks, including the season finale of All Work No Play.

SAM: That's tomorrow.

LAURA: Oh my goodness!

MATT: Yeah. I've seen clips and I'm already pretty excited.

LIAM: Very, very, very special.

MARISHA: I've been doing this a while. It might be the weirdest thing I've produced. It's frickin weird. Yeah, whole thing's bizarre.

MATT: There's also an all-honey Honey Heist coming up.


MATT: All-honey Honey Heist.

SAM: Is it all honey plus Brian Foster, or just all honeys?

MARISHA: Nope, just all honeys.

SAM: Awesome.

MARISHA: All the ladies.

TRAVIS: Honey Heist! Honey, Honey Heist!

MARISHA: Laura, of course, some old friends: Mary Elizabeth and Noelle Stevenson

SAM: Ooh!

MARISHA: Some classics, yeah.

LIAM: That's some heavy She-Ra juice.

TRAVIS: So much power at one table. Wow!

MARISHA: As well as the lovely Dani Carr that we all know and love. The lovely Brittany Walloch from All Work No Play fame.

SAM: I've heard of them.

MARISHA: Who else am I missing, huh?

MATT: Isn't Krystina playing?

MARISHA: Oh and Krystina Arielle from Sirens of the Realms.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah!

MARISHA: Full house.

MATT: Going to be a lot of fun, so check it out. We also have Sam's Pablove fireside chat coming up soon.

SAM: Oh that's right, I have to do a fireside chat.

MATT: Yeah, you do.

TRAVIS: Are you doing that in a speedo, or what?

LIAM: No, he promised to free-ball it.

TRAVIS: What? Amazing!

SAM: Okay. Uh-huh.

MATT: And much more. Go to for details of all these fantastic shows that are coming up in the next couple of weeks. We'll have more updates as far as our content schedule as it comes. Also, our second art book, as you mentioned, Chronicles of Exandria Volume II: Legend of the Vox Machina is available for pre-order at the shop at and for our UK and surrounding European brethren. An important note, if you do not reside in the UK or the US: you may want to check both stores to see which is most cost effective to ship from. It just happens to be wibbly-wobbly shipping stuff. Huge thanks to all of you for your fantastic support, for all the fantastic artists, and the fantastic community. This is a big love letter to the end of last campaign, and each of you having something really special to come to make this a memorable keepsake for all of us. So thank you. As a reminder, there will not be an episode of Critical Role next week because it's Thursday November 22nd, which is Thanksgiving here in the US.

TRAVIS: Going to eat food!

MATT: Yep, I know. We will be enjoying time off with our family and friends, but we will be thinking of you guys in the meantime and we will be back the week after that. So there'll be a one week break, we'll see you in two weeks after tonight's episode. I believe those are all--

LAURA: I got something!

MATT: Oh! Sneaky Laura!

LAURA: No, it's not on the thing, but I have it anyway. Are you wearing it?

MARISHA: Yes, I am!

LAURA: We have our hoodies, back in stock in It's new and improved. Yeah, 2.0. This really awesome text was hand calligraphed? Calli-- how do you say it?

TALIESIN: Calligraphed.

LAURA: Did I say it right? By Chris Gladis and then we turned it into this graphic, and so it's really gorgeous.

MATT: Critter calligraphed.

LAURA: Yes! And it's super soft still.

MARISHA: It's so nice!

LAURA: Then the other thing that's in the store now that we didn't tell you guys about ahead of time is something I'm very excited about. We have baby onesies! There's not a ton of them because how many Critter babies are there?

TRAVIS: Thousands!

LAURA: I designed this one, it says, "I wanna be a monstah!"

MARISHA: Look at the little rattle mace!

LAURA: It's got a mace rattle!

MATT: Also viable for our really small critters, too. I think Sam will fit in one.

TRAVIS: We will certainly try.

MATT: In fact for the fireside chat we could--

SAM: Oh, maybe I can just wear that. That's a good idea.

MATT: Well, thank you, Laura. With that, my friends, I think tonight, it's time to dive into our episode of Critical Role.

[TV static, click]

[groovy Critical Role theme]

Part IEdit

MATT: And welcome back. Wow. You guys are ever creative. Last we left off. The Mighty Nein– Garbage wine?

LIAM: Garbage wine.

SAM: Water.

MATT: The Mighty Nein had made their way to the Menagerie Coast, got swept up in a bunch of chaos, and found themselves out at sea, amongst the Swavain Islands, taken in by a pirate crew, captained by Captain Avantika, basically at threat of death otherwise. Sent to an island to investigate a temple, learn about seals that possibly are keeping your patron, Uk'otoa, at bay. Made your way back across the Lucidian Ocean, towards the city of Darktow. Actually actively partook in some piracy.

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Polite piracy

MATT: Polite piracy. Sure.

TALIESIN: You got a participant trophy.

MATT: Whatever it takes to help you sleep at night. And found yourselves at the pirate city of Darktow, surrounded by the Dragshallow Reef. Where you had just arrived, with both ships, the Squalleater and The Mistake. The crew you had hired out of Nicodranas, looking very confused and concerned at their current fate, given the fact they were just hired hands at sea. You were ushered up along the sheer cliffs alongside Darktow Isle, a long stone shelf within the cavern where the Plank King himself greeted you, bid you entry to the Revelry, this extending band of pirates across this part of the ocean. Laid some ground rules and sent you on your way. And that is where we left off. Mighty Nein, as you descend the rain-covered stone steps that descend down the side of the cliffs-- how's that for alliteration in a phrase? Making your way towards the now-darkened evening city of Darktow, the distant glimmers of interior firelight slightly emanating from open windows. You can see folks walking through town, the light drizzle threatening to stifle the low torchlight being carried from location to location. You can see the outline of dozens of ships that are locked into the shipyard that surrounds the city, as well as the crooked outline of nearby barricades set up across the reefs that surround the island. Avantika proceeds before you. What would you like to do?

SAM: (whispers) Shoot her in the back of the head.

LAURA: (whispers) We could totally push her off the cliff right now.

SAM: Oh!

MARISHA: (whispers) Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: Yeah, so, the group is us plus Avantika and--

MARISHA: Her crew?

MATT: No, just Avantika. Her crew went to The Bloated Cup, which is a tavern.

MARISHA: And we're headed there.

MATT: Correct. You assume you're headed back there.

LIAM: Pirate on pirate violence is verboten.

LAURA: She just slipped.

LIAM: That's true.

SAM: I saw it.

MARISHA: She fell down the stairs, you guys.

TRAVIS: Night time, right? Sun has gone down?

MATT: Correct.


MARISHA: I catch up to her a little bit. Hey, Avantika.

MATT: "Yes?"

MARISHA: Weird question.

MATT: "Possibly a weird answer."

MARISHA: How much do you know-- How do you know how to give a certain amount to Avantika? Sorry, the Plank King. Freudian slip.

MATT: "Well, when we return into the bay, we are to essentially give the materials, or at least a number of what we've managed to acquire. We are supposed to, essentially” -- what is the word I'm looking for? What is the word I'm looking for?

SAM: Tithe?

MATT: Tithe, I would say-- You're going through customs and you have to--

ALL: Declare.

MATT: Declare, thank you. "You must declare the amount of which you have recently come upon, and from that there is a tithe offer to the Plank King, roughly about 25-30%. But we do not pay for our ship repairs, we have free asylum here within the island, and we are under the strict law that if anyone double-crosses anyone else within the bounds of the city, they will have the hammer of the Plank King down upon them."

MARISHA: It's very intense.

MATT: "That is the way of life."

MARISHA: So it's less like a government and more of a union that you buy into?

MATT: "More or less, yes. They're not much into governing, more just--"

MARISHA: Like a union with a dictator?

MATT: "A union with a very hard-headed and forthright union leader."

MARISHA: "Hmm. Do you ever think you could make a good union leader?"

MATT: "Nah. I have my own specific interests, they're much more narrow."


MATT: "Why, do you have aspirations?"


MATT: "I didn't think so."

MARISHA: Who needs aspirations?

MATT: "Well, some of us do. There has to be more to you than just this contradictory-for-the-sake-of-being-contradictory aspect, eh?"

MARISHA: I would love for you to tell me about it someday.

MATT: "Come, let's have a drink, huh? First round's on me."


SAM: (singing) Everyone's fucking Avantika!

LIAM: You are going to judge me for finger motions? Hold on, everybody, stop the game. Laura Bailey just shamed me for a sexual finger motion, at this table, after three and a half motherfucking years! I have seen everything! Resume the game.

TRAVIS: Avantika is the Infinity Gauntlet and she has one stone.


TRAVIS: Or does she?

MATT: Well, she lost a stone, technically.

TALIESIN: Well. We should take a look around, maybe get a sense of this place, since we're going to be here for a while when they fix the ship. I have a few things I'm looking for.

MARISHA: Might as well go to the pub.

TALIESIN: We could do that, sure, I guess.

MARISHA: First drink's on her.

LAURA: I think that guy was wearing a wig.

SAM: Oh yes, he did have a weird hairline, right?

LAURA: Yeah, it was a really bad-made wig. I mean, the hair looked good, but it was really obvious.

SAM: Maybe that's in fashion here, maybe we should all go wig shopping.


SAM: Just saying.

TRAVIS: Captain, how did the current Plank King get to the position that he holds now, do you know?

MATT: "As far as I have been told, at the very least-- this was before my time joining the Revelry-- there was a disagreement, and the previous Plank King seemed to be in the minority of the side of this disagreement, and the current Plank King was in the majority. So they stormed the caverns of the previous Plank King, and tossed most of his corpse to the rocks below."

TRAVIS: A little mutiny, eh? Did-- Hmm. Interesting. No, that's all.

MATT: "To his credit, the current Plank King has done a very fine job of maintaining organization in the Revelry."

TRAVIS: That's what I was going to ask: if you were a fan or not.

MATT: "He doesn't bother me, he leaves us well enough alone, we follow the rules, we maintain all of the benefits of being under the banner, and I'm left to my own devices."

TRAVIS: Any foes of yours in this Darktow? Anyone we should look out for?

MATT: "There are a number of unsavory types, but I've made a bit of a reputation of being a little-- eh? People don't like to tangle with that too much, eh?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, why would you get wrapped up in that? Yeah, let's go grab a drink.

MARISHA and SAM: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: How long have you been a pirate?

MATT: "Let's see. Open on the seas? About 12, 13 years."

LAURA: Whoa!

LIAM: How did you fall into it?

MATT: "I got sick of following somebody else's orders."

LIAM: Where do you hail from?

MATT: "I'll tell you over drinks. This is not the best place to have these discussions, eh? Perhaps after a few rounds. Come! To The Bloated Cup!"

SAM: The Bloated Cup.

TRAVIS: Yep. We go.

MATT: As you guys finish descending the stairs into the city itself, you catch there are quite a few patrols through the city. You can see the torchlight being held by each as they make their way, just keeping an eye out. You get the sense that there's probably quite a number of volunteers, or at least individuals, that are intent on maintaining the semblance of civility here within Darktow itself. Leading close towards The Bloated Cup, it's not that far from where you had set your ship within the shipyard. It's a fairly large two-story tavern, very wide across its bottom, and seems to be at least one of maybe two social gathering sites here within the city, once the sun goes down. Three blocks away, you can already hear the music, chatter, laughter, and yelling. As you approach closer, begin to look from the outside in, the warm light and the movement of shadows across the open windows shows you that the place is pretty jam-packed. As you begin to make your way into, following Avantika, to the interior, you hear the shouting and burbling and clinking of glasses as the far corner has five or six individuals. You're not sure if they're paid musicians, or just sailors who happen to have a bit of experience with a fiddle, a drum, and a flute of some kind. As the music begins to play, you can see there is one table that has a lot of Avantika's crew. They've pushed a bunch of chairs clammed together-- clammed?-- crammed together with some bits of dried bread and somewhat soft fruit, some cheeses laid out, and two large pitchers of ale already waiting at the get-go. Right off from them, you see a smaller table with everyone you've hired from The Mistake, including Orly, all sitting there clutching their glasses looking around scared shitless. As soon as you enter, their eyes turn to you and they go–


TRAVIS: They do that cafeteria thing, "Hey! Hey, you want to sit? Over here?"

MATT: At which point Avantika goes, "Come! Have a seat!" and pushes one of the other tables out of the way of a few other people that are already sitting at it. She takes her hand and scoots it across the table and they both go, (annoyed grunt), and spit on the ground and get up and move away. Immediately you get the sense that there is a power dynamic. Avantika seems to have at least some modicum of respect amongst the rest of the riff-raff within this tavern.

TALIESIN: She's a Heather.

MARISHA: (knowing laugh)

MATT: Pushing the tables together, kicking a couple of the stools over, it looks like there's enough spots at the table for most of you. One or two of you might have to stand or find a place next to the rest of your hired help.

TALIESIN: I'll stand.

LAURA: I'll stand, too.

MATT: As you guys all sit down, drinks and rounds begin to be passed to each of you, conversations already mid-discussing. You hear bits and pieces about how, "the blessing of the Serpent has been upon us this past month." Being on the ship with most of the crew, they haven't been terribly social with you. They've helped you and guided you in learning a few things, but there's still very much this separation and attention that you're the newcomers, and a strange, new shiny thing in their captain's eye. This is the first time you've seen them a little bit three sheets to the wind as a group, and they're talking openly. Avantika has a definite zealotry to her, but you start noticing members of the crew and why they are with her or, at least, now that they've been there, they've also bought into these tales of Uk'otoa. You get the sense that they believe that this path that she's following will lead to her success and, by default, probably their success.

TALIESIN: How many of them are true believers? Give or take?

MATT: Make an insight check for me.

TRAVIS: You're no good at those, right?

TALIESIN: I'm terrible at these.

TRAVIS: I want to know what blood type they are.


MATT: Okay, that'll do. That'll, yeah. Okay. You get the sense that Vera, who's the older human, the tough-looking woman who was her quartermaster before it was passed to Fjord, is definitely the most invested in this idea, this spiritual journey they're all embarking on with captain at the helm. You also feel that Ipess, who's the gnome second mate that you've encountered previously, in a very similar way is completely invested, eyes wide. His general banter tends to be a little crazed and sporadic, but whenever they're talking about the Great Serpent, now with phrasing of "The Leviathan" as the title has become more prominent with discovery, there's a reverence to his eyes and an attentiveness that is out of character for him. So you mark Vera and Ipess as two very intent believers, behind Avantika.

TALIESIN: Is there anybody who's awkwardly into it, but definitely would probably walk away if they could? Is there anybody who's a little--

MATT: You get the sense that Bouldergut, the ogre, half-understands it and is more just excited because everyone else is excited. It's like a dog that gets really wound up when everyone around is talking loud. That's Bouldergut. A number of the deckhands appear to be invested, but they're less intensely driven and more just excited that their captain's excited and maybe starting to consider that there is something to this now that they've seen the things they've seen, and the powers that she's acquired. That's a good spread of what you've managed to gather.

TALIESIN: That'll do.

TRAVIS: I'll grab a drink and I'll head over to where Vera's sitting.

MATT: Okay. Vera is sitting directly to the right of Avantika, and there's not much space to sit next to her, but you could grab a stool and squeeze in to her right side.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll take a drink and I'll plop it down right in front of her and I'll take a knee on the floor, so I'm kneeling next to her on the other side of Avantika. I'll say: Hey listen, no hard feelings, right?

MATT: "There is no hard feelings. I understand the reasoning, and the captain's word is law. I am excited to see the great things you accomplish as the quartermaster of our ship."

TRAVIS: Right, whatever's best for the ship.

MATT: "Precisely, and for the captain."

TRAVIS: Well, I feel the presence of Uk'otoa smiling on all of us and I know that our partnership here will be a beneficial one.

MATT: "I can only agree."

TRAVIS: Well, this has been fun. If you need anything, as your quartermaster, you just let me know.

MATT: "Aye aye. Captain." Looks to Avantika. Avantika right now is deep in the cups. At this point, a figure turns around the corner. You see a male gnome: short, maybe in his 40s or so with spiked hair. It's thinning on the top, but you can see he's taken thick balms of some kind to try and make it look intensely young, and failing halfway. Big mutton chops that come down to a very pointed chin, and he's dressed in fairly decent clothing, a nice silk vest with billowing sleeves out of his shirt, with some bangles that clink around his wrists. He comes and finds you on the opposite side and looks across to Avantika grinning. He goes, "Well well well, it's been a while since we've seen you 'round here!" She turns to him and goes, "Ah, Sorris! You're back from that fool's errand, I see. How was the Shattered Teeth?" He goes, "Eh, foggy and cold as shit. How goes your cloud-chasing journeys, love?" She goes, "Grand! We might have scored a fine shipwreck, and a promise of salvage, eh?" Looks back to him. "You up for hire, perhaps?" He goes, "Eh, tempting but, nah. I'm still fresh off the water, want to enjoy myself a while." She's like, "All right, very well, we'll be in port for a day or two while we get some repairs done. If you change your mind, well, just start shouting. I'm sure we'll find your annoying voice easy enough." He goes, "(giggles) Sure that is, eh? You're all new 'round here."


SAM: Yeah, we're new pirates. Are you a pirate? I mean, I guess we're all pirates, right? Everyone's a pirate here?

MATT: "At the moment, no. At the moment I'm a civilian, and a drunkard."

SAM: Oh!

TALIESIN: Shattered Teeth, what's the Shattered Teeth? Did your teeth shatter? Is that a place?

MATT: "No, it's a series of islands to the south of here."


LAURA: We know that because we're pirates too, and we know those things.

TALIESIN: I could fill a book with what I don't know.

TRAVIS: Sorry, I didn't catch your name, it was--?

MATT: "Sorris. Sorris Kay. What's your name?"

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm Fjord. Nice to meet you.

MATT: "Fjord? All right."

SAM: Are you a captain, or do you do something else that's more specialized?

MATT: "Me? No, I'm a sniper."

SAM: A sniper?

LIAM: What do you snipe with?

MATT: "Things. Why are you so curious?"

LIAM: You're an interesting fellow.

MATT: "Speak for yourself, sir. What's your name?"

LIAM: My name is Phillip.

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM: Name check!

TRAVIS: Strong name.

LIAM: What is that? I don't have my contacts in. I can barely see it. That's 11, right? So that is 17.

MATT: He goes, "Okay, Phillip, and what's your specialty? What do you bring to the crew?"

LIAM: Oh, I am a navigator. Newer, but eager and looking forward to plying my trade.

SAM: Quick, Phillip, which way's north?

LIAM: It's right that way.

SAM: That's amazing!

MATT: "That's actually pretty good!"

SAM: You can spin him. Here! I'm going to spin him around a couple times. Now which way's north?

LIAM: It's still over toward the hallway over there.

SAM: Wow, right?

MATT: "That's pretty good. Me, I've got a few odds and things, mainly with a longbow. Good shot there, but an eye that can see things on the horizon, mainly live up in the crow's nest, you know? Keep an eye out."

LIAM: You know, this is our first time on these islands and I don't know much about it at all. Is there any legal system here? Do you know what I mean? Or is it just, you know-- (gunshots)

MATT: "He's joking, right?" Avantika goes, "I'm afraid not. His bailiwick, apparently, is being curious and clueless."

LIAM: I am a big reader and there is a lot I don't know, like my tall friend over here. I mean, there must be trouble that breaks out. There must be bar fights.

MATT: "Of course, bar fights are fun. That's part of the reason we live here!"

LIAM: Well, I can see the appeal, but what happens if there's something risky or it causes theft of property for someone important?

MATT: "If it's a member of the Revelry thieving from another member of the Revelry, and it gets found out, it's brought to Plank King. Plank King makes a judgment, based on that, some sort of reparations or-- (thud, screaming, impacts)"

LIAM: So Plank King is the law?

MATT: "More or less."

LIAM: That's biblical.

LAURA: But you can still fight other people? For fun?

MATT: "Why? You looking for a fight?"

LAURA: Are you looking for a fight?

MATT: "Always."

SAM: Don't fight each other!


SAM: Because that's crazy.

MATT: "I never throw the first punch, so anytime." He taps the side of one of his jowls. You hear the ruffle of his fingers through his somewhat curled muttonchop on the side.


MATT: Grabs a drink and without breaking eye contact--

TRAVIS: We just got here.

SAM: Why? Why would you do this?

MARISHA: I'm the worst influence. I'm going to say do it.

LIAM: We are trying to get the lay of the land here.

LAURA: Tusktooth?

TRAVIS: (gulping)

LAURA: I punch him in the chin!

MATT: Roll an attack.

TALIESIN: You didn't even ask him if there's a bookshop nearby.

LIAM: Might have gotten to that, perhaps.

LAURA: Unarmed strike! 14? No, 15.

MATT: 15 hits. You do one point of damage plus your strength modifier.

LAURA: Four points of damage!

MATT: Boom, right across his chin. He falls to the ground, turns around, rubs his chin. "That was a surprising bit of power there for someone your size. Come at me!" He dives at you. Roll initiative.


LAURA: 16.

MATT: Oh, he beats you at a 17. 15 plus two. For a small size, he is quick and he jukes to one side, turns around, and goes for a haymaker to the side of your face! That's cocked. That's a 14 to hit.

LAURA: Oh, I turn and he hits my shield.

MATT: Ping! "Ah!"

LAURA: I swipe at him with my tail and try to trip him.

MATT: Go for it. Make another attack roll.

LAURA: 19!

MATT: Are you just doing damage or are you trying to shove him and knock him prone?

LAURA: Just knock him prone.

MATT: Okay, that's your athletics check, actually.

LAURA: Oh, okay, so I would add 13 plus athletics.

MATT: He's going to make his acrobatics to try and dodge.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: Natural 19. He manages to leap in the air and your tail hits the side of the table and (thudding) to one side. The drinks begin to spill and one reaches out and grabs them, prevents them from being knocked over.

TRAVIS: We're all grabbing our drinks and standing up.

LAURA: Wow, you're quick!

MATT: As soon as you turn back and say that, you look and he's not anywhere to be seen. Then you hear this (footsteps) under the table. You glance down as you watch him leaping up from between your legs and the table to uppercut you right in the chin. That's 18 to hit.

LAURA: I'm 18.

MATT: He just manages to hit you! You take three points of damage. Crack! Right from underneath the chin, you feel your jaw clink into your teeth, there's a horrible screeching sound. It hurts. You can feel the numbness in your face from the impact. After he hits you, he darts off around from behind and he's probably going to go in for a hold, but you have your go.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to reach out and try to punch him in the back of the head.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Inelegant, but perfect.

LAURA: Oh no. Natural one.

MATT: You go to swing for his head and he grabs your hand and goes, "Ah-ah-ah." He goes to pull you forward to go for a headbutt.

MATT: That's a 19 to hit!

LAURA: Fuck me.

MATT: Crack! Right in the front of the forehead and the nose, you can immediately feel the blood beginning to pour from underneath.

SAM: Crikey.

MATT: Behind, you guys watch the crowd. A lot of people's attention have turned to this bar fight. A few of them are now backing up and getting their drinks, ready to watch. Somebody else at the table goes (impacts) and punches somebody else and starts another aspect, and now there's another bar fight beginning down the side corner. It's your go. Oh, wait. Yeah, because he finished the headbutt, so you go.

LAURA: How much damage was that?

MATT: Three points of damage. Every time you get hit, he does three points.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. Oh, no, should I be mean?

TRAVIS: "Should I be mean?"

LAURA: I'm going to grab him after he hits my head and I'm going to try to knee him.

MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll for an attack.

LAURA: That's good, that's 23.

MATT: Yeah, that definitely hits.

LAURA: Four points of damage right between the legs.

MATT: Another four points there. All right. "Ugh!" His eyes squint and roll backwards a bit and he goes down into a crouching position. (grunting) Rights himself in almost a Muay Thai stance.

LAURA: Below the belt.

MATT: Yeah, that's 11. He tries to swing and you parry it off to the side without an issue. Go ahead and retort.

LAURA: I'm going to grab his wrist and try to spin him around.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: 16 hits!

LAURA: Yeah! I'm going to grab him and try to grab both of his arms and hold him on to me.

MATT: Because you're grappling?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Roll again for your athletics.

LAURA: Oh no, that was really bad. Five.

MATT: He rolled a natural one. Literally a natural one. He tries to squeeze out, but you've got a firm grip on his wrist and you pull him back in. You're now holding him to you; he's grabbed.

LAURA: Say uncle, say uncle!

MATT: "No, never!" It's his turn. He's going to go try to slam his head backwards into your face. Ooh, natural 18, that's a 24. Take another three points of damage. Crack! It hits you. For a second, you're afraid it knocked a tooth out, but you feel with your tongue and it's still there.

LAURA: Do I still have a hold of him?

MATT: Yeah, he's still grappled.

LAURA: Ooh, ooh, I'm going to turn my head and try to hit him with my horn.

MATT: Ooh, nice, roll for an attack.

LAURA: Oh, that was cocked. Crazy cocked. 19!

MATT: 19 hits, takes another four damage. Crack! It scrapes across his temple and it almost gouges an eye, and he turns and he's like, "Ah! You're rambunctious, aren't you?" He's going to attempt to throw you off over his shoulder, pull you into a roll. You get to make an athletics or acrobatics check against him as he tries to break from your grapple.

TRAVIS: I got one gold on the blue one. Anyone want one gold on the blue one?

LAURA: Oh no, six.

SAM: I'll take that bet!

MATT: Breaks free and slams you onto your back. You're now prone from the reversal, but it's your round, so you can get up or attack if you want to.

LAURA: Can I do a breakdancing move where I spin around and jump up? Like Arya did in that episode of Game of Thrones.

MATT: Sure, yeah.

SAM: Who? Did you say Mario?

LAURA: Arya.

MARISHA: What's Avantika doing?

MATT: She's drinking and watching. One leg up on the table and she's glancing over, watching this transpire. You're going to sweep as you get up?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Roll for attack.

LAURA: 13.

MATT: 13 does not hit.


MATT: You sweep and he leaps up and then, from the air, tries to come down onto your leg with the full force of his tiny gnomish body. Natural 20.

TRAVIS: (groaning)

MATT: We'll say for the purposes of this, because the nature of the 20, we'll make it double full damage, because it's fist fights, that's six damage to you from that. Crack! The leg and the knee doesn't dislocate or pop out, but you can feel it get pushed to the limit and it hurts like a mother. Leaps up and like, "Not too bad! Come on, bring it!" One eye's a little bit-- not swollen, but it's starting to squint from pain. Blood's leaking out of his nose and his mouth and it's smeared on one side of his cheek and he's (chuckling).

LAURA: You're crazy, Sorris. I like you.

MATT: "I like you too--"

LAURA: Boom! Right in the face. 16 to hit!

MATT: 16 hits. That's another four damage on him. Crack, crack! This next series of hits come at him and he's like, "Ha! Yeah, it's nothing! I can take it! Bring it!" He's going to come forward and try to do a series of pummeling in your direction. Natural one. The sheer impact of the last blow seems to have knocked his block off, and he starts doing this series of pummeling in the wrong direction, instead pushing toward Caduceus. He moves out of the way. He batters at the side of his sleeve there and, "Ha! How's that? Did I get her? Wait." Looks around and finds you. "Hi." Your turn.

LAURA: I'm going to say: All right, all right, all right. We're friends now, okay? Let's not do any real damage to each other. I'm going to pat his head and cast Cure Wounds.

ALL: Aww.

SAM: We're awwing.

TRAVIS: He's on the edge, finish him!

LAURA: I don't want to knock him out, he's cute. 1st-level.

LIAM: You have mashed his hair spikes down.

LAURA: That is six points of healing.

TALIESIN: That's two punches taken away.

MATT: One and a half.

LAURA: We're friends now.

MATT: He goes, "Huh. Thank you?"

LAURA: You're welcome.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: Oh no. Ooh, 21?

MATT: He looks at you for a second. "Yeah. Good point. I could've taken you anyway."

LAURA: Yeah, no.

MATT: "We'll pick this up another day."

LAURA: All right. Hey! I made a friend!

SAM: Yes, you did. Good job, Jester!

TRAVIS: Yeah, and you kept all your teeth.

LAURA and MARISHA: Pirates!

MATT: He comes up and goes for a handshake, grabs your hand, pulls you and gives you a soft headbutt. It's a little sore on both of you and both of you wince. "Pleasure to meet you. What's your name?"

LAURA: The Little Sapphire. That's my pirate name.

MATT: "Okay. Sorris. Pleasure to meet you as well." As you guys are having this conversation, you hear behind you (grunting, crashing). Another table behind is broken and you can see a person unconscious across the shattered pieces of wood, arms curled in t-rex style.

TRAVIS: Nott, unconscious person down.

SAM: Ooh! I'm going to go steal from them. Oh, wait, no, you can't do that on this island.

MARISHA: Is that Blues Traveler?

SAM: It is the Traveler.

MATT: The crowd goes, (cheering). Everyone who was mildly disappointed at the lack of finale to your fight has now focused on the other one that has completed with the smashing of furniture, the person on there left scrapped up and wrecked. The other individual, one eye swollen shut, square-jawed, burly-looking guy going, "Yeah!" Everyone cheers.

TRAVIS: What's the rest of Avantika's crew doing? Are they in the scrap as well?

MATT: They're just watching. The scrap was only between two or three people, and one of them just went down. The other one called it off after that and the declared winner everyone's briefly focusing on. Then as fast as everyone cared, everyone sat back down and they're back to drinking. You get the sense in that moment this is not a rare occurrence around here.

TRAVIS: Hourly flare-up.

TALIESIN: It's like someone ordered a special at an extremely expensive tiki bar.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, huh!

TRAVIS: Wow, where the fuck did you guys just go? I hope we're going there after this show.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Go to Trader Sam's.

MARISHA: Where that mug came from!

TALIESIN: That's why I have my tiki mug today.

LIAM: Caleb brings a big mug of ale and sits down close to Avantika and says, over this din: This is a big longshot, but you seem very well-traveled and well-researched. This place is crazy, but any place worth its salt has books. Why are you laughing at me? Why are you laughing at me? Such a straightforward question. Well, I can tell from your reaction that there is probably no good place to acquire a book, but you seem more educated than the normal sort-- or people around me-- so perhaps you have a suggestion for a scholar lost at sea?

MATT: "It is a very curious question. I imagine there are probably some books. That wouldn't be what is commonly considered contraband or heavy resale value. Most of the time when you are boarding a ship, you leave the books behind. If you're looking for books, your best bet is to go to the Sundry Square during the day."

LIAM: Sundry Square, during the day.

MATT: "It's about four blocks to the left after you leave the outside of here, just outside of the shipyard. It's where all the awnings and ships are."

LIAM: Should I be checking the trash bins for these, then? Or do you think someone might actually have them for sale?

MATT: "You can certainly ask around. Maybe both, I don't know."

LIAM: I'm jonesing pretty badly for a good book.

TALIESIN: I'm looking for a blacksmith, actually, as well.

MATT: "That is possibly a few around, if I recall."

TALIESIN: Somebody worth their salt, since "worth your salt" is a really nice term. That's great. Worth their salt. Somebody worth their salt.

TRAVIS: Just taken with the saying?

SAM: He's going to use that a lot? That phrase?

TALIESIN: It's worth my salt.

MARISHA: Caduceus, how much is salt worth to you? Like on a scale of money to nothing?

LIAM: Like a person's worth.

TALIESIN: Oh, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it at all, now that I think about it. That's a good question. I mean, there's so much salt around, to be fair. It would probably take a lot of salt to be worth something.


TALIESIN: I mean, you could get it right out of the water.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's a fairly benign saying. Don't get too lost in it.

TALIESIN: Everything is worth its salt at that point, really. It's a terrible currency.

SAM: Did he drink a lot?

TRAVIS: I was wondering how empty that cup is.

TALIESIN: Has anyone been watching me drink?

TRAVIS: I was going to ask.

TALIESIN: I have been nursing the same cup the entire time and have been fake-sipping it the entire night. I haven't actually had a drop.

TRAVIS: You had an ale or whatever everybody else is drinking?

TALIESIN: Whatever they handed me. I've been doing this, to be fair, the entire time we've been together.

MARISHA: He's Bruce Wayne! Caduceus Wayne.

TRAVIS: Caduceus Wayne?

SAM and MARISHA: Caduce Wayne!

MARISHA: I elbow Fjord and I sit down next to Avantika.

LIAM: Oh jeez, take my chair, fine. I'll go get another.

MARISHA: Sorry, excuse me, sorry. So Avantika. What's next for The Squalleater?

MATT: "Well," and she sits, looks around everyone at the table, and gestures for everyone to lean in a bit. "It looks like we are to, after a couple of days of travel and supply-gathering, make our way northward to a location that has been brought to my attention by our quartermaster. There is a likely chance that if there is some sort of treasure there, it would be of importance to our mission. However, it is a salvage mission, meaning there will be some diving. So I am looking for a few things to prepare for that so a few of us can comfortably make our way beneath the waves."

SAM: Into the water?

MATT: "Beneath the water, my friend."

SAM: Do cannon-folk typically go on those trips, or do cannon-folk typically stay behind with the ship?

TRAVIS: Gunner master, Nott, gunner master.

SAM: Gunner master.

MATT: "That is up to you. You are welcome to stay behind. However, if things go correctly, I don't think there will be any worry of drowning."

SAM: Oh. How can you promise that?

MATT: "Trust me. I have a few connections that owe me a favor or two here on the island. Anyway, I need a day to acquire what is necessary. Nevertheless--" At this point she looks up at somebody past you and goes, "We're having a private discussion." You turn and follow her eye line and you see a human female with curled blonde hair. The curls have fallen in the moisture and the rain from the outside, dressed in a thick, ragged, black coat, holding a cup, and she goes, "Aye, don't worry about me. Just didn't expect this shore to drag you in quite so soon." There's a moment of tension.

LAURA: Do we recognize her?

MATT: No, you have not seen this figure before. They both stare for a second, and she turns and walks off to a far table.

TRAVIS: Was she directing that towards Avantika?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Who was that?

MARISHA: What? What did she say? Haven't heard– didn't expect this-- what?

MATT: "Don't mind her. It's Allison; she's– what's the word? A right cunt."

TALIESIN: Not Heather. Make a note.

SAM: Friend of yours, or former friend?

MATT: "Oh, best of friends. No, just a very nosy co-thief at sea. Doesn't know where to stop poking where it doesn't belong."

LIAM: Former business associate?

MATT: "No, former competitor. Anyway."

MARISHA: I immediately grab my purse and hold onto it.

SAM: What purse?

MARISHA: The thing I imagine most adventurers have. A little coin satchel.

SAM: Oh, but not like a cute little--

MARISHA: No, not a Dolce & Gabbana, no. Not a Kate Spade.

TRAVIS: You mean a competitor in terms of sea space, or in terms of your faith?

MATT: "No, we've crossed territories once or twice, and she has a habit of trying to embellish truths to the Plank King. Anyway." Hand me the map, if you don't mind. Oh, map's here, actually.

SAM: I knew someone like that once. They would always go fishing and say that they caught something, but they never did.

TALIESIN: A fisherman?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: Avantika lays a map out on the table.

SAM: Ooh, we'll put our weights down to weigh it down.

MARISHA: No, there was a discussion. It's coming.

LAURA: Oh, yeah. Coasters are not heavy enough.

TALIESIN: Here's a cube. Have a cube.

MATT: A cube will do.

TALIESIN: There's a cube.

SAM: There's a cube.

MATT: As Avantika points it out, she shows the crew and says, "In two days travel, we will make our way outside of the Dragshallow Reef, coasting in northward for protection to about here. We begin looking for our salvage." At which point, Orly, who's glancing over the side, rubs his chin and goes, "Hmm. I don't mean to question the captain's m-m-main objective; however, that looks like it's right around where the Diver's Grave m-m-may be."

TRAVIS: Diver's Grave?

MATT: She looks back and goes, "Perhaps, but does it spook you? Do ghost stories make you shiver, turtle boy?" Orly glances back at her with a narrowed stare and goes, "As long as I'm staying on the ship, I don't m-m-mind." He goes and sits back down at the table.

LAURA: Do divers die there?

MATT: At this point, Sorris goes, "Oh, is that where you're going? You're going over to the

"Diver's Grave?"

TRAVIS: It would appear so, yeah.

MATT: "Well, that's certainly an off-limits location for most salvaging, thanks to the cursed woman, eh? Do you know much about your history?"

TALIESIN: I'm hoping this is a place where somebody named Rachel Diver may have bought a piece of land or something.

MATT: "Close, but not at all."

MARISHA: Yeah, or Sophie. It's always a Sophie.

MATT: Make a history check. You can with disadvantage, because of your lack of experience with the naval history.

LAURA: Would I have heard ghost stories?

MATT: You can make a history check as well.


MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 19!

LIAM: 13.

MATT: Doesn't quite catch your attention. You've heard mention of the Diver's Grave, as it was a series of poems from a book you once read. The thing that comes to mind is the name Dashilla. You instinctively mouth it-- Dashilla-- and he goes, "Ah, Dashilla the Dreadful. You know about this one, eh?"

LAURA: I mean, I read a poem about her.

MATT: "Ah. Poem, I've not known, but maybe the song you've heard." Some of the crew around nod, remembering, and he goes and grabs his cup and claps it twice to the table, and the crew begins to filter in as the song progresses, and he goes--

MARISHA: If there's not 12 people that pop out behind this curtain, I'm going to be disappointed.

MATT: So he finishes the song.


TALIESIN: I was waiting for him to go, "Bill Murray."

MATT: Sorris goes, (singing)

         "Where once the waters rolled calmly by, where ocean's heart did sing,

there stalked a lass with a hungry eye and claws that grasp and wring.

With lantern lure of a glimmer pot, with treasure in her eyes, 
below they swam to the gold they thought would await them as their prize."

Everyone starts clamoring together with the third verse, (singing)

         "Yet each of them went to surely die, their graves to not be found.

For Dashilla and her hungry eye collects the lost and drowned." There's a moment where they all begin to clamor the drinks together and clink them and begin to drink them.


TRAVIS: Yeah! That's fortuitous.

LAURA: Her hungry eye.

TRAVIS: Her claws.

MARISHA: Her lantern light.

LAURA: Doesn't she have a ring or something that you said in the song?

MARISHA: Yeah, I heard something about a ring, and treasure in her eyes.

MATT: He looks confused, "So you don't know the poem or the song."

LAURA: No, I know it, I just didn't-- I mean, I read it like, one time, a long time ago.

MATT: "Do you want a reprisal?"

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: (clears throat, singing)

         “Where once the waters rolled calmly by, where ocean's heart did sing,

there stalked a lass with a hungry eye, and claws that grasp and wring.

With lantern lure of a glimmer pot, with treasure in their eyes, 
below they swam to the gold they thought would await them as their prize. 
Yet each of them went to surely die, their graves to not be found. 
For Dashilla and her hungry eye collects the lost and drowned."

TRAVIS: Single eye, huh?


TRAVIS: Anyone else getting a bad feeling about that?

LAURA: No, why would you ever get a bad feeling about that?

SAM: (record scratching) Remix!

TRAVIS: (low-pitched) Break it, break it, break it down.

LAURA: Her hungry eye.

MATT: He goes, "But that's just an old wives' tale, you know? A myth."

TRAVIS: Sorris, is that somewhere you've been to? You seem like a very fortune-seeking type.

MATT: "Well, I sail over it, we just don't really salvage that."

TRAVIS: You don't stop, either?

MATT: "What?! In the middle of the ocean? Why?! That'd be daft! Good luck." Looks at Avantika, (singsong) "Good luck! With the missus," and turns around--

SAM: With the missus? Oh. The lady--

LAURA: Oh, Dashilla.

MATT: You surmise that's who he's referring to. Avantika goes, "Don't pay him any mind. It is a myth, and if it's not, well, we just finished tangling with a hydra and an entire island of snake people. You're not seriously worried about a woman, eh?"

LAURA: Well, we didn't fight them under the water.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm more concerned about the waves. You have experience with this? Diving?

MATT: "I should have an answer to at least most of our troubles by the morrow. Just be patient."

LIAM: Yes or no question.

TRAVIS: You know, most myths are based off of some sort of fact. We don't happen to know what the song thinks this dreadful creature is, do we?

MATT: "Not any more than you would."

LAURA: She's an underwater banshee. For sure!

TRAVIS: Is that a thing?

LAURA: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

TRAVIS: You can't really sing underwater, so how's that work?

LAURA: It sounds a lot like glubby glubs.

(underwater glubbing)

TRAVIS: I love that everyone did that at the same time. That's all I needed. Well, great. We'll find this solution to the diving in the morning, and then in a day or two we'll make our way?

MATT: "That is the idea."

TRAVIS: Do you need any help securing this solution?

MATT: "No, it's best I do it alone. It's more of a older business relationship. I don't want to make him think that this is a, how do you say, untrustworthy trade, if you will."

TRAVIS: Well, being that you'll be out, anything you need done for the ship or the crew while you're away, as your quartermaster?

MATT: "Well, oversee the repairs to The Mistake, I believe they've begun before the night is over for a bit. We probably will not need it for this endeavor, so it will begin and when we return from Darktow it should be complete."

TRAVIS: Wonderful. All right. And your crew? Do I need to keep an eye on anyone?

MATT: "Not in particular. They'll be looking around here, they'll be preparing. Gather their materials, anything you think you require for the trip at sea go ahead and gather it, go amongst the Sundry Square, purchase what is required, and then hopefully within the next 48 hours we'll be back out on the waves."

MARISHA: 48 hours.

TRAVIS: Wonderful.

TALIESIN: What's Allison been up to?

MATT: Drinking in the back, having a conversation with somebody and keeping one eye over at the table. Seems just perturbed. Not directly intent, but occasionally narrowing her eyes in the direction of Avantika.

TRAVIS: Being that this is our first time in Darktow, I would like to see the rest of the area. Would anyone care to join me for a stroll?

MARISHA: Ooh, night walk?

TALIESIN: That sounds like a great idea.

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: "It is good, if you are going to do a night walk alone, or together as a group is much better than alone."

TALIESIN: What should we be looking out for? Is there some sort of natural dangers, unnatural dangers?

TRAVIS: Back corners, alleys?

MATT: "Well, the laws say you're not to steal from another pirate in here, but only if they're caught."

MARISHA: Oh, I forgot.

LAURA: Oh, you totally could have gotten the stuff from that guy.

SAM: (frustrated noise)

MATT: "But there are others out there perhaps who see fresh faces and think, well, easy prey. Best not to cause a huge commotion immediately after arriving. Nobody does that, right?"


LAURA: Definitely wouldn't.

TRAVIS: Who would be so foolish? Little would they know, they'd be tangling with Avantika's crew, and that's something they don't want to mess with, right?

MATT: "One would think, yes. Anyway, I am a bit tipsy, and I'm going to find myself an evening's rest. The rest of the night and tomorrow is yours. Good eve."

SAM: Bon soir.

MARISHA: Good night.


MATT: As she gets up, some of the rest of the crew stands up, you see Bouldergut in the back stand up as soon as the captain stands up, and goes like, "We going?" "Come on, this way." Walks by, puts her hand on your shoulder, and into your ear, Fjord, as she whispers, she goes, "I'm staying upstairs, second room on the left," and leaves.

LAURA: Did any of us see that?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh, that's a bad roll.

TRAVIS: You see everything, why are you even rolling?


MARISHA: It feels pretty public.

LAURA: 15.

TRAVIS: You've got fucking Mad-Eye Moody's eye where it's on me the whole time and the other one's doing its own thing.

MATT: Actually, Caduceus, just from his passive perception, has seen this. What did you roll?

LAURA: 15.

MATT: 15? You see there's a momentary pause as she walks by, and the hand on the shoulder that catches your attention. You can see the lips move and make out the essence of the conversation. The rest of her crew slowly gets up, and some of them stay to drink, some of them go out to find their way in the night.

MARISHA: I need to pee. Anyone know where the bathroom is?

LIAM: Pretty sure it's anywhere.

TALIESIN: Outside.

MATT: You do recall, walking through the city, a number of individuals stopping at the edge of the docks and pissing into the ocean.

SAM: In Halfling I will say to Beauregard: Hey, don't you think we should go talk to that Allison person?

MARISHA: I was already on it, I respond back in Halfling.

SAM: Can I tag along?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Jester?


MARISHA: Do you have a pen and paper I could borrow?

SAM: She asks in Halfling.

LAURA: I don't understand what--

MARISHA: Sorry, got caught in a language loop. Do you have any pencil and paper, or pen and ink?

LAURA: Yeah! Well, of course I do, I always have a lot of stuff on me, here you go.

MARISHA: Just like a scrap, thank you. I scribble, "Meet in the alley" on the piece of paper. Is there an alley? I'm assuming there's an alley behind this.

MATT: I mean--

SAM: There's no streets, it's all alleys.

MATT: It's entirely crafted of alleys. No, I mean, it's not very jam-packed around this particular tavern/inn, but there are some nearby buildings where there are alleys. This place is surrounded by streets because it's right there on the front near the shipyard.

MARISHA: "Meet in the back alley." To be specific.

SAM: Vague directions.

MATT: Okay, and what do you do?

MARISHA: Will you go with me to the ladies' room so we can powder our noses together?

SAM: Sure. I love a good powder.

MARISHA: Let's go powder. As I walk out, I shake Alice's hand, say: Nice to meet you. And palm her the piece of paper that's folded very tightly.

MATT: Okay. As you take her hand, she pulls back. You get a closer look at her, there's this heavy scar over one eye that keeps the eye mostly closed. You can see there looks to be a ruined eye beneath there that's healed over and is not functional. She wears it proudly as a point of intimidation or at least a badge of whatever gave her that scar. As she pulls back a little bit, her other hand going towards the dagger on the side that's now revealed from behind her coat. You palm her the note and she looks and takes it--

MARISHA: Give her a wink and walk off.

MATT: She crumples it with a terse look and lets it fall to the ground.

LIAM: Ooh! Cold.

MARISHA: I go-- and I walk out. She'll read it, right?

SAM: Where's the bathroom?

TALIESIN: I'm going to get some air.

TRAVIS: Ridiculous.

SAM: We just walked across the whole place. I haven't seen the bathroom once.

MARISHA: Let's go around to the side of the building.

SAM: Oh? We're just going to take a shit in the alley?

MARISHA: We are a hundred percent going to take a shit in the alley.

LIAM: Here comes the fanart. I hope.

MATT: You guys walk out into the cold night air. The heavy mist has fallen across Darktow and you can barely see beyond the outskirts of the city where the ocean begins. You can still hear the waters coming in against the rocks on the outside of the island, but you cannot actually see where the water connects. Beyond that, you can see the outline of the ship masts that are set at the end of the shipyard that are vanishing into the mist that surround you. What do you do?

MARISHA: I go towards the back "alley".

MATT: Okay. You find what would be considered an alley behind the Inn and Tavern.

MARISHA: I show Nott where to take a shit. I wait either for the rest of my friends or for Alice to eventually read the damn thing--

SAM: Is it Alice or Allison?

LAURA: I thought it was Allison.

MARISHA: Allison.

TRAVIS: She's on a nickname basis already.

SAM: Maybe that's why she didn't listen to you. Because you called her the wrong name.

TRAVIS: She's like, "We're not there yet! We're not fucking Alice yet."

MARISHA: It works half of the time.

LAURA: That's so pretty.

MARISHA: It's super awesome.

SAM: If she comes out here, what are we going to say to her?

MARISHA: I just want to figure out what her beef is with Avantika. Maybe she can be our key--

SAM: But she's going to ask who we are. What do we tell her? That we're disgruntled members of her crew?


SAM: But she can turn us in! That's terrible. We should say that we're--

MARISHA: We can get information from her first. We don't have to necessarily always give information up front to get information and we can always lie.

SAM: I'm not good at that.


SAM: Okay.


SAM: Yeah, you're right. You're very charismatic. We're going to be fine.

MARISHA: I feel like that's slightly underhanded.

SAM: No! It seems that way because I'm making a face because I'm halfway through a dump right now.

MARISHA: I don't break eye contact.

SAM and MARISHA: We got this.

TRAVIS: Oh! The hand touch! No!

SAM: I'm ready.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: Maybe that is better.

LAURA: We've reached a new level.

TRAVIS: Maybe that is better, yeah.

LIAM: (as Nott) All right! I'm done! Hand me that dead cat!

MATT: Here we have the direct connection from campaign one to campaign two: Sam has taken a shit live with both characters in-narrative. Congratulations.

SAM: You're welcome, Gary Gygax.

MATT: What are the rest of you doing? Caduceus, you went out for some fresh air.

TALIESIN: I went out. I'm standing by the front door, bouncer-like, and trying to get my bearings, take a look around, see what the vibe of this place is.

TRAVIS: I'm come join him out front.

MATT: Jester?

LAURA: I'm staring at this milk that I ordered and it's really disgusting. And I--

LIAM: You're not going to drink that, are you?

LAURA: No, it has lumps in it.

LIAM: Yeah. Well, it's a lumpy place.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: You doing okay? You seem a little off to me.

LAURA: What? I seem off?

LIAM: Yeah, you seem distracted around this woman.

LAURA: Oh. I just, well--

MARISHA: (sneezes)

MATT and LAURA: Bless you.

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

LAURA: I don't like her very much.

LIAM: Oh, is it because she's a murderer?


LIAM: Oh. I don't like that part about her.

LAURA: Oh, but we're all kind of murderers sometimes, aren't we?

LIAM: I don't think that all of us are murderers.


LIAM: Are you a murderer?

LAURA: I mean, we have killed some people.

LIAM: Yeah, but that's a very specific thing. You know, if your life is in danger, that's one thing. You know, if something happens in the heat of the moment or there's danger in both directions. Murder is premeditated. That's a very different thing. I find it hard to believe that you have killed someone with premeditation. I could be wrong but--

LAURA: No, I don't. I haven't ever done that. I've done some pretty shady stuff though.

LIAM: That I believe.

LAURA: Have you done some shady stuff?

LIAM: Yes, I have.

LAURA: Have you done stuff that's pirate-y before you were a pirate?

LIAM: Yeah. Sort of.

LAURA: What's the shadiest thing you ever did?

LIAM: Oh. Well, Nott and I have robbed people for sure. People with not a lot of money so that we can eat.

LAURA: That's okay, though.

LIAM: That did that we did to you when we first met you. You know, we turn one thing into another and then we go stay at an inn and buy food and then it turns back into pennies and that's not so good, but when you're starving.

LAURA: But it is a really cool trick. They got to see magic.

LIAM: They didn't know it, though.

LAURA: That's true. It all balances out. You've done really good things, too.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Do you want some of this lumpy milk?

LIAM: No. Do you want any ale?


LIAM: Boy, this is quite a predicament that we've gotten ourselves into. How the hell-- we were visiting your mother. Your mother was so lovely–

LAURA: I know! She's so nice! And now we're pirates and I'm never going to see her again.

LIAM: That's not true.

LAURA: It's really possible, Caleb. What if we can never go home?

LIAM: We'll get you home. We're here-- this is Fjord's thing. We're his support. We're here to help him out. Beauregard and I don't want to be here forever either, I don't think. I know that I do not want to be in this place or on the sea forever. It's interesting.

LAURA: Nott definitely doesn't want to be in the sea.

LIAM: Nott is like a cat clinging to the ceiling. She's like a cat on a hot tin roof.

LAURA: I think Caduceus doesn't like the water, either basically because it tried to kill him a few times already.

LIAM: Really none of us like it here but Fjord, kind of.

LAURA: I don't even know if he likes it a lot.

LIAM: There's parts of it that he likes.

LAURA: Like Avantika.

LIAM: I don't know. You're sweet on him, yeah?

LAURA: I don't know.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: It feels funny.

LIAM: How do you mean?

LAURA: Well. You know, when you really like somebody, but then you start to know them, and you go, "Do I like them or do I like what I thought they were?" and then you don't know?

LIAM: I think so.

LAURA: And then you think that they are flirting with you, but then you found out that probably weren't, you know?

MARISHA: Or just saving your life.

LAURA: So you feel kind of sad about it and maybe a little stupid.

LIAM: That's a little out of my realm of experience. I'm sorry.

LAURA: You had a girlfriend before though, yeah? (whispering) You said her name when we were dancing and then I put you to sleep and you said her name again.

LIAM: I don't forget anything.

LAURA: Was she pretty?

LIAM: She was handsome.

LAURA: Was she a boy?

LIAM: No. I said she.

LAURA: Oh. Okay.

LIAM: She was handsome.

LAURA: I'm trying to get an image of her in my brain here.

LIAM: Yeah?

LAURA: Did she have like a really good nose or something?

LIAM: The best.

LAURA: Really?

LIAM: For me.

LAURA: You're mysterious, Caleb, you know that?

LIAM: That was a long time ago, anyway. Let's just focus on getting out of this place away from that woman.

LAURA: And now she's saying we all have to take the same boat. How are we going to get away from her?

LIAM: Is there anyone paying attention to us?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: Where are you guys talking?

LAURA: Just literally right there at the table.

TALIESIN: Oh, never mind.

LIAM: Or like just leaning in a table together. Very low. Elf. 11.

MATT: Okay. The crowd is pretty vibrant around here. A quick glance around you, you don't see anybody specifically paying attention or interested.

LIAM: Well, I don't care. I'm pulling out the wire and I'm putting it in my mouth. We'll take care of her if we have to. (coughing)

LAURA: Are you okay?

LIAM: Yeah, just a cough. A cold. I want to get the hell off this island eventually, but we're here now. Tomorrow--

LAURA: Tomorrow, we find some books!

LIAM: Yes! We'll find-- no. Probably not. But we'll get sorted. We'll make the best of this place. We'll help Fjord figure out his shit, I suppose.

LAURA: Yeah, that's important to him.

LIAM: Yeah. Then we'll get out of here and then you can reassess back on dry land.

LAURA: Yeah. Thanks, Caleb.

LIAM: Thanks for not leaving me on the street like a drunk.

LAURA: (giggles) I thought about it. It would have been pretty funny for you to wake up, but I like you more than that. Are we sleeping on our boat? Where should I go?

LIAM: I think we'll probably going to get a room somewhere here. Is this place an inn or a tavern? I did not even look coming in.

MATT: Glancing now, looking through the back, there is this staircase that winds up to a secondary floor and it looks like there probably is lodging.

LIAM: Did Avantika leave or did she go up?

MATT: Avantika left for the moment.

TALIESIN: I'll have to secure the things--

LIAM: Probably to shit in an alleyway.

TRAVIS: You're up front, right?

TALIESIN: I'm sitting out front. I'm doing the door.

MATT: What are you guys doing?

LAURA: I guess just sitting in here for a while.

MATT: Caleb?

LIAM: Just drinking until--

TRAVIS: I put my hand on Caduceus' shoulder. How you doing?

TALIESIN: I think I'm doing all right. I'm just contemplating where we're going from here.

TRAVIS: You seemed a little more at ease. I'll lean in a little bit.

TALIESIN: I am a little more at ease.

TRAVIS: You do much drinking in there? I'm not really getting the fumes on your breath.

TALIESIN: I've only gotten drunk once in my life.

TRAVIS: Really?

TALIESIN: And that was because of Nott.

TRAVIS: Is there a reason for that?

TALIESIN: I thought I'd try. It didn't agree with me.

TRAVIS: What happens when you drink?

TALIESIN: Everything hurts and it's violently offensive to the body on every level. That stuff's disgusting. Just awful.

TRAVIS: Did you have stuff in your cup, right? You don't have to fake it. You can just--

TALIESIN: Well, it feels polite and not everybody is as understanding as your friends, you know?

TRAVIS: Right.

TALIESIN: I just sit in the corner and I listen to everything that I can for as long as I can and it got a little noisy in there and thought I'd get a little air.

TRAVIS: Anything popping up on that special radar of yours?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. This place is dangerous. She's dangerous.

TRAVIS: Yeah. That she is. Should we grab the others and go explore for a bit?

TALIESIN: I think that's a good idea. And Fjord? You know why everybody's doing this. Why we're all here, right?

TRAVIS: Yep. I mean, I think.

TALIESIN: I think you know it. I just want to point it because that woman, she doesn't care what any of us want. I'm sure she'd be interested, but it's way low on her priorities and I don't trust anybody who puts other people's needs that low on the list, and you should keep mind of that while you're getting in bed with them, so to speak.

TRAVIS: Is anybody out here in earshot?

MATT: Outside at the moment? No.


TRAVIS: Yeah, listen. About that. Let's just keep it right between the amigos, all right? Just because--

TALIESIN: What part of the body is the amigos?

TRAVIS: No. That's us, right? One amigo, two amigo. You and I are amigos.


TRAVIS: It'll be our thing. Like we're bunkees. We share--

TALIESIN: Amigos. We share amigos.

TRAVIS: No. We're not going to share amigos. We are the amigos.

TALIESIN: That's even better.

TRAVIS: Sharing amigos is a whole other-- yeah.

TALIESIN: I think I get it. I'm not going to talk out of turn and I trust your intentions, so--

TRAVIS: Well, actually, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. You're real good at picking up on little things, yeah?

TALIESIN: You're asking if I can tell you're conflicted?

TRAVIS: Heh, no, I think that's pretty clear.

TALIESIN: You'd be amazed, but all right.

TRAVIS: I'm just letting you know I'm trying to keep her close. I feel like this whole thing's getting a little out of sorts and the best way to keep a small finger on the pulse of things is to–

TALIESIN: Sure. I'm so glad you put it that way. You're a good man, Fjord, so be careful, because I imagine it's a little out of character being honest and truthful with somebody in a deceptive way. It can muddle a good man up whereas it doesn't muddle a bad man up.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Haven't been very good at it so far.

TALIESIN: That's one of the reasons why I like you.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

TALIESIN: Here for you, man. I've been learning to swim.

TRAVIS: Yeah, more of that to come. Where's the rest of these chuckle-fucks?

TALIESIN: Oh, two are mysteriously vanished. I think they were mumbling something about trying to find an alley--

MARISHA: Nott, will you stand guard now, because now I have to take a shit.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: It's been that long.

MATT: For the record, you guys do wait for about an hour and a half, two hours-- no sign of Allison.

SAM: Do you think we should go back in?

TALIESIN: We don't take that long, I think 30 minutes is--

MATT: Right, I'm just letting them know. That's how long they would wait before they know that she that she's not coming.

SAM: All right, I guess we'll go back inside, then?

MARISHA: Two more minutes.

SAM: Sure. Do your business. What--

TRAVIS: Head down, huh? Contemplation.

SAM: What do you think of our pirate vessel so far, of our pirate mission? Are you having fun?

LIAM: If ever you're going to squat on that chair in a perch, this is it.


MARISHA: Okay, what was your question?

SAM: Nothing, we can go back in--

MARISHA: All right, let's go.

TALIESIN: Release.

MATT: You all make your way, gathering once more in The Bloated Cup.


TALIESIN: That's where you're supposed to go, god!

MATT: Right back around. Oh, man.

TALIESIN: I love you so much. You give so much.


MATT: All right, so what do you guys do?

TALIESIN: I want to take a night walk.

MARISHA: Night walk! Night hike.

TRAVIS: (singing) I want to take a night walk– that's not a song.

LAURA: All of us together?

SAM: Yeah, let's go for a walk.

TRAVIS: We'll poke our heads back in and go– We'll wave them out.

TALIESIN: The crew should also have some place to sleep. Let's make sure everybody is taken care of.

SAM: They can go back to the boat, right?

TALIESIN: They're having a bad time-- what do you guys want?

MATT: Orly seems to be playing the mother hen with Marius playing assistant to that.

TALIESIN: Mr. Orly, we feel terrible about everything that's going on. We want to make you guys as comfortable as possible through this deeply inconvenient situation we've all found ourselves in.

MATT: "I would be lying if it wasn't deeply inconvenient."

TALIESIN: Appreciate your honesty.

TRAVIS: (whispering) Ask him about the Diver's Grave.

TALIESIN: What would not be an insult--

LAURA: I hit his hand. High five!

TALIESIN: Like that-- I know that would be an insult-- but what would not be an-- How many kids are here?

MATT: "If we're staying behind, I'd say give me about a hundred gold to watch over the nest around here. When you return, we'll hopefully-- I understand, perhaps, you m-m-might be coming back for us?"

TALIESIN: Without question.

MATT: "Then I'll return whatever was not spent."

TALIESIN: That's a good idea.

MARISHA: I've got 50 gold on that.

TRAVIS: I'll get the other 50.

TALIESIN: Thank you, kids. We are-- unless something goes tragically wrong-- we expect to be returning, and I imagine you'll hear word if things go tragically wrong.

MATT: Marius comes over and goes, "Right, now, hoping no tragedy, just come back and get us off this fucking hell-hole."

LAURA: Well, if we don't come back, can't you take the Mistake and go home?

MATT: "If you don't come back, I don't know."

TALIESIN: How long do we expect to be gone for?

MATT: Travel from here to there and back, about four or five days round.

LAURA: Two weeks, if we're not back in two weeks--

TALIESIN: If it's two weeks, the ship is yours.

MATT: "All right. Well, I wish you all m-m-much luck."

TALIESIN: I appreciate that. Hopefully you will not have to play a funeral dirge for us.

MATT: "I am hoping that is never the case. Guess I'll just make some coin in the interim."

TALIESIN: That's fair.

TRAVIS: If I may, Orly, you seem to be very familiar with the Diver's Grave and the song. Do you know anything more specific of it and creatures that might be in that area? Things to look out for?

MATT: "I mean, standard deep-ocean folk."

TRAVIS: Deep-ocean folk?

MATT: "Sharks."

MARISHA: (whispering) Mermaids.

MATT: "Other underwater beasts."

TALIESIN: What's a mermaid?

MATT: "Perhaps m-m-mermaids and other such dangers."

TALIESIN: How many teeth does a mermaid have--? What is that?

LAURA: Mermaids are part pretty people and part fish people.

TALIESIN: Those are both very dangerous.

LAURA: Well! Yeah.

TRAVIS: Any good things about the area that you care to share?

MATT: "Probably some worthwhile loot there amongst the sediment."

TRAVIS: Right.

TALIESIN: Any idea how long ships have been going down in that region?

MATT: "Oh, a few hundred years, maybe?"

LIAM: A few hundred years? Is there some sort of weather pattern or natural phenomenon that is

responsible for this?

MATT: "No, ships go down all over the coast."

LIAM: But there aren't creepy stories about every inch of it, is there?

MATT: "There are quite a number of creepy stories on every part of this here coast."

LIAM: Fair point.

SAM: Do you know how deep it is to the bottom there? Is it deep, deep ocean, or just medium-ocean?

MATT: "Can't say I do."

SAM: All right.

MATT: "M-m-my apologies."

TALIESIN: Thank you for your time, and thank you for your trust.

MATT: "Come back."

TALIESIN: Working on it.

TRAVIS: All right, who are we missing?

MARISHA: Night hike. We're all here.

TRAVIS: Why are you guys wiping your hands on your pants?

MARISHA: Don't worry about it.

SAM: It's fine.

TRAVIS: Okay. Who wants to go explore?

LAURA: Let's go.

SAM: Let's go explore!

LIAM: What are we looking for? Are we just taking it in?

MARISHA: We're looking for fresh air.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I figured we'll use the night air to our advantage, acclimate a little bit.

TALIESIN: Let's take a walk. Let's see what there is to see. I'm excited about this.

LIAM: Learn the city.


MATT: Yasha leans in and goes, "If there is any trouble, should I...?"

TRAVIS: Oh, if there is trouble, let's try and resolve it-- well...

MATT: "I trust you, just--"

MARISHA: Gauge it as it comes?


MATT: "Tell me when you want--"

TRAVIS: The Judge? Will do. It's so intimidating when she says it like that.


LAURA: Can I have taken, I'm assuming, a short rest and heal up from my fight while we were all chilling here?

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: We should get a wig for the Judge like the Plank King has.

TRAVIS: For the sword?


TRAVIS and LIAM: A wig?

MARISHA: Just throwing it out there.

SAM: Sort of like a golf club cover?

TALIESIN: Like a tea-cozy. A sword-cozy.

MATT: Okay. You guys leave the tavern.

TRAVIS: Up away from the docks.

MATT: Okay. As you exit-- Caduceus, you notice this-- but Jester, as everyone's leaving, you to the back of it, you feel a hand grab your arm for a minute. You look over to the side, and you may not have noticed earlier, but Vera had been in the inn, in the tavern vicinity. She pulls you back from the rest of the group for a second and looks you in the eye with this intense stare. You can see the wrinkles on the sides of her face pushing into this tight crow's nest on each side, her irises bloodshot. She goes, "He would not be the first she's left in ruin, and he would not be the last. I will take care of him if he cannot." She releases you and spins around and walks off to her room.

TALIESIN: I caught a bit of that, right?

MATT: You saw them discuss, but you weren't-- At the point of talking and looking, you wouldn't have made out the words necessarily.

LAURA: (whispering) Whoa.

MATT: You guys are here in the open night air. You're pushing midnight, here at Darktow.

LAURA: It smells like poop out here!

TRAVIS: Checking the bottom of my shoes, like: What did we step in? Why is it--?

SAM: The sea breeze. At night, it's a land-breeze.

TALIESIN: Actually, I have to stop really quickly and use the bathroom. There's these little outhouses over in the corner right here that drop straight down into the--

TRAVIS: Outhouse, campaign two. Here we go.

TALIESIN: Yeah. It's like the tower bridge.

SAM: Is anyone on the streets?

LIAM: Ja, and how well-lit is it out here?

MARISHA: Yeah, who's watching?

MATT: It's pretty misty. There are not heavy clouds in the sky, and the moon seems to be not a full moon, but it seems to be fairly bright, but because of the mist, it diffuses. There is this general faint moonlight throughout the entire vicinity of the town. What that does is it makes distant visibility a little harder, much like fog lights at a distance. There are a number of patrolling individuals-- no uniform to them, but they walk around, torch in hand, looking through

the streets, keeping an eye. They're armed, armored, but haphazard and no uniform.

MARISHA: This is the Revelry?

MATT: Everyone here seems to be a part of the Revelry-- including yourselves now.

LAURA: Keep your hands on your coin purses.

SAM: Okay, if we're going to talk about these things, let's use some code words. Don't say her name, say a different name.


LAURA: Tiffany.

SAM: Yes, Tiffany.

MARISHA: She's kind of like a Tiffany.

TRAVIS: Okay, Tiffany. And?

SAM: The name of the ship.

TRAVIS: Which ship?

SAM: Tiffany's ship.

LAURA: That's the name: Tiffany's Ship.

SAM: Tiffany's Ship is the name of Tiffany's ship.

MARISHA: That makes it clear.

TRAVIS: How will they crack this if they hear us?

SAM: That's all the code we need, all right.

TRAVIS: How do we reference the--?

MARISHA: We call it the--

TRAVIS: The Apricot.

SAM: The Apricot.

MARISHA: The Apricot.

SAM: Anything else before we get into this?

MARISHA: Wait, is the Apricot this, or is the Apricot the tiny Tiffany Ship?

TRAVIS: Nope, it's this.

MARISHA: It's this, okay.

LAURA: Your heart? The Apricot is your heart?

TRAVIS: Say that again?

TALIESIN: It's the tip of the tiny Tiffany Ship.

SAM: All right, so, how will we deal with Tiffany?

MARISHA: Holy shit!

TALIESIN: Which one's Tiffany?

TRAVIS: Let's walk-and-talk about Tiffany.

SAM: Of course we're walking-and-talking.

MARISHA: I'm keeping an eye open for every suspicious-looking asshole.

LAURA: Tiffany can be invisible though, you guys.

SAM: Everyone do this.

TRAVIS: Tiffany doesn't know that we're talking about her.

SAM: She went to bed, she's fine.

LAURA: I'm going to keep an eye out to see if the mist ever parts around us.

MATT: Okay. Both you and Beau make perception checks, please, since you're both keeping eyes out.

TRAVIS: Come on!

SAM: She won't know we're talking about her because we're using a new name, Tiffany, so she's

not even going to know.


MATT: Okay. You're keeping a gauge on any of the wandering, patrolling guards to make sure as to not to speak too loudly or in the presence of anyone; conversation either shifting temporarily or coming to a lull and walking by in silence, but you manage to snake your way through a relatively quiet town beyond the various taverns this late at night.

TRAVIS: A lot of store fronts and things that are closed up for the night.

MATT: You do wander through what you assume to be the Sundry Square eventually, through this wandering. There is a makeshift pavilion where it's dotted with tables and crates under ratty awnings and canopies, but it's all closed and dark. There's no lights. It looks like none of the materials for sale are left behind. It's mainly just a structure and materials are probably brought there in the morning and are placed out for trade, sell, or whatever.

LAURA: Don't you think it's weird that someone would be a pirate and they would come here because they were a pirate and then they change their mind and decide to be a shopkeeper here instead?

TRAVIS: No. Maybe they were looking for a new environment and they found exactly what they were looking for.

LIAM: Maybe they thought they were tough and strong, and they were not as tough and strong as they thought, so now they sell rope.

MATT: Make a history check.

MARISHA: It feels like a farmer's market. It feels like certain people sell things whenever they got them.

TRAVIS: Ooh, natural 17, for 19.

LIAM: 12.

MATT: You do know Darktow, before it was taken by pirates about 45 years or so beforehand, it was just another city of the Clovis Concord. It belonged to the Menagerie Coast, and it was one of the central port stops for a lot of the trade routes making their way to the coast. Then it was taken by the Revelry, and they reinforced it and made it defensible. They didn't slaughter everyone there, because they weren't there to kill everyone. They were there to take it over. They killed those who were, in their opinion, incorrectly placed in charge, any dissenters, and then anybody who agreed to join the Revelry, "Join or Die" type circumstance, everyone who had previously been at the island were absorbed into the Revelry. Some of them have continued their life there, some of them, their bloodline has continued to be those that maintain other forms of

business. Not everyone is technically a pirate; there are a lot of members of the Revelry that are just civilians of Darktow and maintain the island.

TRAVIS: There was a lot of assimilation here.

TALIESIN: Like Orlando.

MATT: (laughs) Sure!


TALIESIN: Not everyone's a retired person or a college student. Somebody's got to actually clean that place up.


SAM: We love you, Orlando.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: I really do. I have plans.


MATT: Hear that? Taliesin has plans for you, Orlando.

TALIESIN: Deep plans.

SAM: If I may?


SAM: Here's our options.

TRAVIS: Here it is.

MARISHA: Do you have a powerpoint?

SAM: I don't, but I've been thinking about things.

TRAVIS: How drunk are you?

SAM: I'm lit. I'm tight, but feeling good.


SAM: Our intent is to get off this island without Tiffany, correct?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Well, I think it's less about getting off this island without Tiffany and more about getting to that shipwreck first, before her.

TRAVIS: I think that's the highest priority. The only thing that we haven't discerned from Tiffany is if she knows where the next--

SAM: Apricot?

TRAVIS: No, we know where the apricot might be, where the next apricot tree might be.

SAM: Fruit stand? Apricot tree.

TRAVIS: Or fruit stand. I like it.

SAM: Here's our options. I'm just putting them out there. I put no weight on any of them. We can follow Tiffany tomorrow as she goes about her day. We can get in touch with this Allison person, follow her--


SAM: I know, right?


TRAVIS: Well, if you used her right name.

SAM: We could talk to some of Tiffany's crew, right? Bouldergut seems dumb.

LAURA: You shouldn't use her real name.

TRAVIS: Yeah, wow.

SAM: Sorry. Franklin Delano Roosevelt seems dumb.


SAM: Also the former quartermaster, Theodore Roosevelt.


SAM: Then, there's this Sorris fellow. I don't know, he didn't seem like he's be a font of any knowledge.

LAURA: I like him.

SAM: We can sabotage Tiffany's ship. I don't know what that would do because we need it to get off the island. We could frame Tiffany for some crime against another pirate! We have a signature from Tiffany in a letter that she wrote. We have-- that is all that we have.

MARISHA: Well, she's not currently at her ship. I'm assuming a lot of her valuable information is locked away in her captain's quarters somewhere on Tiffany's ship. If we can get the information to the next apricot tree, then do we need Tiffany anymore?

LAURA: I just remembered.

SAM: What?

LAURA: Well, I have this new spell that the Traveler was telling me about. It lets you pop in somewhere. You can just pop in and then you can bring somebody with you. It's like a doorway. SAM: You could pop in where? To her ship? To her captain's quarters?

LAURA: I would pop into her office.

SAM: On the ship? On the Tiffany ship?

MARISHA: How far?

LIAM: How far away can you do a pop-in?

LAURA: That's a really good question! Let me think about it. Hey, Traveler, how far away can I use this spell? 500 whole feet, he says!

SAM: That's a lot.

MARISHA: That's a lot of feet. So many feet. Look, if I've learned anything about important people, it's that they can't resist putting shit down on paper. I guarantee you, there's something in her office.

LAURA: I don't know how we would get out of it once I was in there though, because I can only use it once but I suppose--

SAM: You can just leave.

LAURA: Yeah, but wouldn't somebody be keeping watch on the ship, though?

SAM: But it's our ship, we work on the ship.

MARISHA: Do we have credentials? Do we have like, badges? Like beep-beep?


TRAVIS: Well, I can tell you that her quarters have a balcony.

MARISHA: Oh, can you?

LIAM: We could also potentially send Frumpkin with a note or letter.

LAURA: And do what?

LIAM: Leave it.

SAM: You mean like plant something?

MARISHA: No, I want to get something.

SAM: Rifle through her stuff.

TRAVIS: Yeah, because if we are planning to leave without her, that means she'll give chase-- I mean, I hate to even suggest it, but I'd rather not have someone hot on our tail.

LIAM: Also, this leads me to a question I have which is, instead of discussing the short term which we want to do, I want to ask you about the long term. If we ditch Tiffany, and we find the apricot tree, what happens then? Like, what is your plan with this apricot? I think we have ideas about what could come from it. She's done what she did at the first tree and you got the next tree, and maybe she races to the-- What happens next, Fjord? Like, I know you are curious, but what is the plan?

LAURA: Should we be using your name or should we call you something else right now too?

MARISHA: Tusktooth?

LIAM: We'll call him Honda.

MARISHA: So many nicknames.

TALIESIN: I'm lost.

TRAVIS: Well, as Honda, I would race to the apricot and seize it so that she can't pick that fruit. Keep it for ourselves in our fruit basket, and make off and decide if we're going to make marmalade later or not.

TALIESIN: I like marmalade.

LIAM: Do you know how, at the first tree, an apricot was picked and things shook, something happened there. This place was all about drei, the number three, so you want to go pluck another fruit and that's two out of three and what happens once the third--

TRAVIS: We actually don't know where the other tree is yet, that's the thing. We just know where the fruit is.

MARISHA: Personally, I feel more comfortable with Honda controlling the supply of apricots than Tiffany.

TRAVIS: They're in season right now.

LIAM: I am not telling any of you, especially you, what to do here, but an alternative plan is to get rid of anyone who knows about the location of the tree and bury the tree.

MARISHA: The tree we just came from or the tree that we're going to?

TRAVIS: If we do that, we might need to ask Tiffany if she knows the location of the tree because it hasn't been brought up as of yet.

MARISHA: Fuck asking Tiffany any questions. We break into Breakfast at Tiffany's and get the information that we need.

TALIESIN: That was a long walk.

TRAVIS: It was a long walk, but we're all on the same page. Okay, are we up for a little B&E?

MARISHA: Eyy, this is my specialty.

TRAVIS: In real life or the game?

MARISHA: No comment. I plead the fifth.

LAURA: Will we be using the fancy doorway?

MARISHA: I think to get in, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, absolutely. Don't you have another way to make a door?

TALIESIN: That's in an emergency.

LAURA: Well yes, but that is--

SAM: That would be permanent.

LAURA: That's the thing, she would definitely see there was a new door.

MARISHA: Also, you said there was a balcony right?


MARISHA: Was there a door to the balcony? Do you think that would be locked?

TRAVIS: I mean there was a door-- was it solid wood or did it have glass?

MATT: No, it had two glass doorways, like windows, but they open like doors and latch shut.

SAM: Wait, if you could get in to her cabin, you can Disguise Self as well, right? You could change yourself to Vera or something?

MARISHA: Or to Avantika.

SAM: Or to Avantika or Vera?

MARISHA: I mean Tiffany?

SAM: Oh shit! Shit!

MARISHA: Fuck! We were doing so well.

MATT: Roll initiative!

MARISHA: Who's here?!

SAM: You could turn yourself into Franklin Delano Roosevelt. You could walk off the ship and no one would think the wiser, or they might say, "Franklin Delano Roosevelt! Why are you on Tiffany's ship?" You'd be like, "Bitch, I work here."

TALIESIN: Why are there two of you here?

SAM: I'm Franklin Delano Roosevelt!

TALIESIN: Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt and then you're two people on a ship and you're involved in things and-- I mean, it's a good emergency plan, but can you only go once? You can't go twice?

LAURA: I can't go twice. I can just do it once.

LIAM: What if some of us kept Avantika busy?

LAURA: Tiffany.

LIAM: This is difficult.

TALIESIN: A few of us were eating apricots at the time.

LIAM: What if Fjord keeps Tiff busy-

SAM: Honda.

LIAM: Man, oh man--

LAURA: Honda keeps Tiffany busy.

LIAM: What if the green guy and the gal are busy, you follow?

MARISHA: Do we need to have Honda distract Tiffany? Can we not do this right now while she's theoretically sleeping?

LIAM: Let me finish the thought. You do that thing, you take your little doorway over, you do what you want to do, then poof, you are Tiffany. You walk off the boat, because Tiffany is busy.

MARISHA: That's true, he could be accountable.

LIAM: 100% busy, not maybe busy, maybe she's sleeping, maybe she's out for a walk.

MARISHA: For sure busy. We could have this guy with Frumpkin making sure that they're busy, if you're comfortable with that. You don't have a lot of a choice.

SAM: Can you keep Tiffany busy for, you know, 15 or 20 minutes?


SAM: 25 if you really had to? Take a break?

TRAVIS: Maybe with a short rest. Maybe.

LIAM: It's real quiet at this table.


SAM: This is a good plan, and we're going to go in there-- oh, you're going to go in there. Do you need some help?

LAURA: I should bring somebody with me.

MARISHA: This is my forte, man.

LAURA: Okay, me and you, Beau.


SAM: Except Beau can't make herself look like anything else.

MARISHA: But if I'm with the queen, then what does it matter?

TRAVIS: Who's the queen in this scenario?

SAM and MARISHA: Tiffany.

SAM: Fake Tiffany.

LAURA: You don't want yourself connected with this at all.

MARISHA: I could take the-- that's a good point. Fuck.

LAURA: Plus, here's the thing. Caduceus is really perceptive.

TRAVIS: The two clerics are not going on the mission together!

SAM: I can break into things.

LAURA: That's true.

TALIESIN: You're very sneaky.

LIAM: You're small.

SAM: I can also talk to Caleb.

LIAM: That's also true.

MARISHA: How are you going to get off the boat?

SAM: I can make myself look like something.

LAURA: That's true, you could be Sorris.

TRAVIS: Doesn't Ipsis-- small like?

MATT: Ipess? Ipess is a gnome, yeah.

SAM: I could be Ipess.

LAURA: Ipess! That's right!

TALIESIN: I can give you guys enhanced ability, too, for the remains of the evening. You can pick something and both of you, if you want to be better at something for a little while.

LAURA: We never get into trouble together. I mean, this is foolproof.

SAM: It cannot fail!

LAURA: Any time we've tried to do anything together, it went off seamlessly.

SAM: This is the best plan we've ever had.

TRAVIS: That's a natural one, this is going to fucking suck.


TRAVIS: All right. Okay.

MARISHA: What are me and Cad doing?

SAM: We need someone just off the boat in case things go awry. I'll message you that we need some help on the inside, and there needs to be someone on the outside of Honda and Tiffany in case he needs some help in there, I don't know.


MARISHA: Cad, can you go with Honda?

TALIESIN: I wouldn't know how to help with that.

MARISHA: You have to be nearby.

TALIESIN: It also seems like a lot of commitment, but okay. I can keep an eye on that.

TRAVIS: Also where are we staying tonight? Are we staying at The Bloated Cup, or we finding–

LAURA: We could stay on the boat. That would solve all of our problems.

MARISHA: Can we?

TRAVIS: On Tiffany's ship?

LAURA: I mean, we've been staying on it already, don't we have quarters on there?

MATT: I mean there are quarters on there you can stay in, yes.

SAM: Where were we meant to stay? Where are the other crew staying? On the ship or on land?

MATT: You're not sure. Some of them you saw found rooms up top, above the tavern you were in. Others left for the night, you don't know where they went.

TRAVIS: It might not be a bad idea to find a room that's not at the Bloated Cup and not on the ship. Just so we're not suspicious.

TALIESIN: Have we seen anything around like another tavern or something maybe a little, I hate to say, more upscale, but cleaner?

MATT: Not really, not here.

TALIESIN: Something with less piles of shit behind it?

MATT: No, you get the sense that Darktow doesn't have a lot of offerings for travelers, since most of the travelers that come through here are part of the Revelry. Only a few of them stay offshore. You passed a number of homes of people that live here or spend a lot of time here and have in a boat.

TRAVIS: How do you feel about rooms at the Bloated, Cad?


TRAVIS: Three rooms?

TALIESIN: Three rooms.

TRAVIS: Hopefully some with windows?

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Smells like shit in there.

LAURA: We all wait until Fjord starts boning, and then we start our action.

MARISHA: How about this: Caleb and Caduceus and Fjord, you're one team. You have Frumpkin watch Fjord, you give me the word when it's good to go, I'll deliver that to Nott and Jessie, they go--

LAURA: This is way more complicated than I thought it was going to be.

TALIESIN: I don't know, actually I'm following it actually for the first time this entire--

MARISHA: I'll give you the signal, you guys go, I'll be nearby, I'll distract any guards if need be with my feminine wiles, and then you let me know if there's any emergency--

SAM: You're the runner.

MARISHA: Then I will have no means to communicate with anybody else, but you will.

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: You'll be a good go between. If we hear something bad, we can get an owl to ship, if you hear something, then--

MARISHA: Actually, that's a good point. How far away is the Bloated Cup from the boat?

MATT: From the boat? The Bloated Cup is right off from where all the docks join and from the shipyard, so it's maybe about 300 feet away.

MARISHA: Oh, that's amazing. Cool. Perfect.

TRAVIS: Famous last words.

MARISHA: Good. It might be our downfall, but it's great.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Okay, so I'll try and be within eyeshot of the Bloated Cup, within eyeshot of you.

SAM: Honda, are you going to be able to--

TRAVIS: Look, I'll be fine. I'll make sure she's occupied.

SAM: I'm just saying, there's gonna be a peeping tom in the room with you.

TRAVIS: Now, what do you mean "in the room"?

SAM: I think we need Frumpkin in there.


TRAVIS: What form is Frumpkin, an octopus?

SAM: A peeping tomcat.

TRAVIS: Is he there?

LIAM: He's right here.

MARISHA: Oh, he's been in my---

MATT: You see this really uncomfortably frazzled owl that's been jammed in a pocket.

MARISHA: Sorry I don't--

TRAVIS: Am I carrying him in, like it's no big?

TALIESIN: No, I don't think we--

SAM: No, he can fly outside the window and peek in, just to see if you're--

LAURA: Avantika knows, I mean Tiffany knows that that owl is yours, Caleb, it's not like it's a secret, if she's seen the owl before she's going to know you're spying on her.

TALIESIN: We don't need to actually know what's going on in there. Why does anybody need to know that?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I don't think so. Listen, let's just kick this thing off. I'll toss Frumpkin back to Caleb. Look, I leave this in your capable hands.

LIAM: Well, Frumpkin has had a peek inside of her quarters after she has seen him. She did not see him the first time. Although, to be doubly sure I could change his shape again.

TALIESIN: Well, I think the thing to do here, I mean, it just makes sense, is that if you leave the room for any reason, we send Frumpkin to the ship. They see Frumpkin, they know it's time to--

MARISHA: To get out.

TALIESIN: That's the signal.

TRAVIS: If for some reason Tiffany's on the move, or if something seems up, listen for thunder. How about that?

MARISHA: Here, I slip Caduceus a few of those firecrackers that I have.

LAURA: His boning makes thunder.

SAM: What's the source of the thunder? Is that like--

LAURA: His weenie.

TRAVIS: Nothing I could say would beat that. So.

LIAM: But, you know, if we're not comfortable, I could change Frumpkin to be, say, a raven or something.

TRAVIS: Sure, whatever you feel is best.

MARISHA: How long will that take?

TRAVIS: All right, here we go. I head off towards The Bloated Cup.

LAURA: We head towards the ship.


LAURA: We walk towards the ship.

MATT: As you begin to settle towards your directions for the evening here, under the shadow of moonlit mist, within the pirate city of Darktow, we're going to go ahead and take a break. We'll be back here in a little bit to see how this--

MARISHA: This is either the best plan or the worst plan.

MATT: I'm excited to see what the fuck is going to happen next. Before we leave, we do have our Wyrmwood giveaway. Our fantastic friends at Wyrmwood have brought this fantastic-- Oh, this is pretty wood! This is a lacewood tabletop dice tray. It looks like bronze dragonhide the way it looks against the-- it's so pretty! Leather inside there, it's awesome. One lucky winner will have this at the end of the break. Jump over into the Critical Role Twitch chat, that's To enter, the codeword tonight is "pirates." Plural, pirates. Enter the word once to enter. Any more than that and unfortunately you'll be disqualified. Only people in the US and Canada, excluding Quebec, can enter, because of stupid international gifting contest rules. Anyway, we'll be back here in a moment with the winner. See you then.



Part IEdit

MATT: And welcome back, everyone. Before we get to it, we do have our winner of the fantastic lacewood tabletop dice tray from our friends at Wyrmwood. It is EmperorGeiserick. EmperorGeiserick, congratulations. We'll get your info and get this sent out to you ASAP. Well done, hope you enjoy. Bringing us into the moment as you guys scatter to your various plans.

MARISHA: It's a great plan.

MATT: We have Fjord going to the upper floor of the Bloated Cup. What are the rest of you doing at this moment?

TRAVIS: Real confident, real strong.

TALIESIN: I'm staying downstairs to wait for you to either come down or for her to leave. I'm going to sit and probably try and find something non-alcoholic to drink so I don't have to be an idiot.

LIAM: That's where it's going to go down is in the Bloated Cup.

TALIESIN: Upstairs.

LIAM: I thought maybe it would say like maybe you know, romantic on the boat. But great. Good. So, if that's the case, then I'm not getting into that room. I think that I should tail this team instead, if you've got an eye on the exit to that building.

TALIESIN: Let me see, yeah.

LAURA: Shouldn't you be able to Message Nott and say she's on the move if--

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: So maybe stay close where you can see it if she leaves?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Yasha is doing what as part of this?

TALIESIN: I think Yasha is probably either with you-- She's either with you or with us, I imagine.

MATT: Probably with you. She's a bit conspicuous. If things go really bad, she'll be ready to help out on that side of things.

TRAVIS: If Bouldergut is in the Bloated Cup, that's where Yasha is.

MATT: There you go.

MARISHA: I turn my cloak inside-out to the inconspicuous side, and case towards the docks, and start casing the area for Revelry that are guarding the area, or potentially, a good place for them to do the thing.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Is somebody aiding you in that? No.


MATT: 13. Okay. Looking out along the docks, there are two particular watch-outs that are assigned to that particular part of the docks, where the Squalleater is currently wet anchored. You also see two individuals on the deck of the ship, not holding torches, but you can see them through the fog. One of them walks and moves. That's what you see.

MARISHA: Do I see anything that looks like it could be a potentially good area for them to cast a spell without being noticed?

MATT: The docks are pretty open here. There isn't much of a place to hide. This isn't a major shipping region. Most everything is taken off the docks and off the ships and then brought into shore, so there isn't a bunch of errant piles of boxes and barrels, per se. The docks are pretty open. Best bet would be somehow under the docks, but most of that is in the ocean, or trying your best to wait for a moment when people aren't paying attention.

MARISHA: Okay. I block around as to not look like it's going the same way that I just came from and catch back up with these two. With the detectives.

MATT: All right. As you guys are having this conversation, Beauregard manages to circle back and come back to you.

MARISHA: All right, there's two guards casing the dock and two of Avantika's-- Tiffany's people on the ship. It looks pretty open, we might want to find an alternative for you guys to not be noticed as you do the crazy magic thing.

SAM: It looks open?

MARISHA: It's super open, two guards guarding the dock and two people on the deck of Tiffany's ship.

SAM: Getting on is not a problem.

LAURA: Yeah, we can just go to our quarters or something.

MARISHA: To then bamf over? Our quarters in the--

SAM: Inside the ship.

LAURA: Yeah. What do you think?


SAM: We can just be there.

MARISHA: You guys are going to have to talk to guards and convince yourself on the way in and you will be noticed.

SAM: No. We just are in.

LAURA: Because it's our ship.

SAM: What do you mean?

MARISHA: We're talking about two different things here.

SAM: Please, start over again.

MARISHA: There are two guards guarding the docks, there are two people on the ship of Avantika's bo-- of Tiffany's boat. On the de-- You get what I'm saying? The deck of the ship. Of the boat.

SAM: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: It's real sotto, so we don't have to use code words anymore.

MARISHA: If you all want to just walk on to your quarters, you will have two guards and two of our crew members who will see you walk on.

LIAM: I think what Beau's implying is perhaps it's better that we're never seen there at all.

MARISHA: We hide somewhere and we're never seen at all and you'll bamf in. Unless you disguise yourself as Tiffany now. Then I would say we find a hidden place, potentially in our private quarters in the Bloated Cup, that you bamf into.

LAURA: Is it within 500 feet of--

MARISHA: He said it was within 300.

LAURA: Fuck yeah. Yeah, let's go to our quarters in the Bloated Cup.

SAM: We're going to start the bamf there.

LAURA: Start it in the tavern!

MARISHA: I will be nearby, near the docks. Signal if you need me.

SAM: You won't see us ever.


LIAM: Here is how I would like to contribute. First, I'm going to disguise myself when it is time. Not yet, but I will make myself look like voice actor Charlie Adler. I will be salt-and-pepper-- I'll fit right in on the docks.

MATT: Oh, you'll fit right in in Darktow.

LIAM: I won't be in a denim tuxedo, but I will wear traditional pirate garb.

TRAVIS: He's our type, man, he thinks sleeves are bullshit too.

LIAM: They are bullshit. There will be no sleeves on this disguise. I'm going to hang out between the Bloated Cup and the ship, looking like Charlie. Frumpkin I will just have circle a continuous circle above the whole area so I can see the guards on the boat, and we can message each other, ja? I'll just be eyes in the sky, Charlie on the ground.

MATT: You got it. All right.

TALIESIN: How's a dex bonus go for you? How's an advantage on dex, or do you already have--

SAM: I mean, I have very high dexterity.

LAURA: Could always use advantage.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Less that could possibly go wrong, so before they go in, I'm going to cast Enhance Ability on these two. At a level three, so I get two people.

SAM: Maybe charisma?

MARISHA: Yeah, for the deception.

SAM: Leaving.

TALIESIN: That's fair. All right.

SAM: I can already dex my way around.

LAURA: We could potentially jump out the window too.

SAM: But you can't.

LAURA: What are you talking about?

SAM: Are you dextrous?

LAURA: I'm so dextrous.

TALIESIN: It also will give you zero damage for a 20-foot fall, if I give you a dex bonus. But--

SAM: I have Feather Fall.

TALIESIN: You have Feather Fall. So you want charisma.

SAM: Maybe?

TALIESIN: That's not helpful. Charisma. Unless you make a decision in the next 30 seconds.

SAM: Yes, I want it! Give it to me now!

TALIESIN: Cool. And you're getting wisdom. You have advantage on wisdom, you have advantage on charisma. Then right before you go in, I'm going to give you guys both a resistance bump before we push them through the door. Just in case you need it.

LAURA: We're up in our rooms.

TALIESIN: For one minute, they can add a d4 to a saving throw.

SAM: Ooh, did anyone touch the dodecahedron yet?

MARISHA: Someone do that.

SAM: Fjord, do you want to do it? I guess you're already fucking.

TRAVIS: No, I'm not.

SAM: Do you want the dodeca?

TALIESIN: Is it just a general d4 bonus?

MATT: What are you using?

TALIESIN: A cantrip. You touch one willing creature once before the spell ends. The target can roll a d4 and add the number to its roll.

MATT: It's Resistance. It is a concentration, so that would override your Enhance Ability.

TALIESIN: Oh, you're right, absolutely, never mind then. Not a big deal. Thank you. I'm getting used to this concentration.

MATT: That's all good, no worries. It's a little bit of a juggle. All right, while this is all being set up--

LAURA: Nott, just look at the dodecahedron.

SAM: (screaming)

MATT: You have your--

SAM: Fate point.

MARISHA: Before they leave and we all go our respective ways, I go: All right, listen. Rich people love to have safes, but they love to hide stuff in the walls of safes, like false bottoms in drawers. Stuff like that.

TRAVIS: False backs to safes.

MARISHA: False backs to safes. So even if you get in, and you think you find everything, double- and triple-check, all right? They love to write shit down, I'm telling you it's there.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: You've stolen from a lot of rich people.

LAURA: Yeah. She stole mail one time.

SAM: I know, it's sort of her defining trait.

LAURA: That and her beautiful hair. (laughs)

MARISHA: Thanks.

SAM: When you laugh right after you said that, I think that was very insulting.


MARISHA: Was she not complimenting me?

SAM: No, she was laughing.

LAURA: I wasn't, Beau, I love your hair. I wasn't laughing at you!

MARISHA: Just go steal from rich people.

LAURA: I wasn't laughing at you, I love your hair, okay.

SAM: We're ready. Let's do this.

MATT: While you guys begin to set your ways, Fjord. You make your way to the Bloated Cup. Where do you head?

LIAM: (singing) Thunderstruck!

TRAVIS: I'll head up the stairs to the second room on the right, was it?

LAURA: (whispering) Left. Second room on the left.

MATT: Do you want to knock?

TRAVIS: Anyone in the hallways?

MATT: At the moment, no.

TRAVIS: No sign of Bouldergut?

MATT: Make a perception check.


MATT: No, no sign of Bouldergut.

TRAVIS: She's an ogre.

MATT: I know.

TRAVIS: Okay. Yeah, second door on the right, and I'll put my ear against the door.

MATT: Make another perception check.

TRAVIS: Shit, balls, ass. Oh, three.

MATT: You don't hear anything through the door.

TRAVIS: (sighs)

MARISHA: Can't hear from the blood pumping in his ears?

TRAVIS: (heartbeat)


MATT: There's a slight pause and you hear some rustling and some shuffling. A voice goes, "Who is it?"

TRAVIS: Oh, sorry. Is-- (clears throat) is the captain in?

MATT: "Who the fuck is this?"

TRAVIS: Fjord. Who's this?

MATT: "Piss off, I'm sleeping."

TRAVIS: Second door on the-- Is there a door across the hall?

MATT: There is.

TRAVIS: I'll put my ear on that one.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Three.

MATT: Don't hear anything. (faster heartbeat)

TRAVIS: Does it look like there's any light on under the door?

MATT: Maybe a faint bit.


MATT: You hear some heavy shifting. "Hi?"

TRAVIS: Bouldergut?

MATT: "Just open the fucking door." "Okay." The door comes open. You see there, crunched down in the room, head hunched forward, is Bouldergut, who's been holding vigil at the doorway. (grunts) Pats you into the chamber. You get pushed in. Avantika's sitting on the edge of the bed, currently reading through a book with the window open outside, and goes, “Quartermaster."

TRAVIS: Captain.

MATT: "Bouldergut, if you would be so kind as to keep watch on the hallway for a bit." Bouldergut goes, "Okay. If I hear any--" "If you hear anything, don't bother." "Okay." She leaves the chamber, closes the door behind her. Closes the book, sets it on a small table.

TRAVIS: She's very loyal.

MATT: "That is my favorite kind of person."

TRAVIS: How long has Bouldergut been with you in your service?

MATT: "Going on the better part of a decade. We actually both met when I was first beginning my career."

TRAVIS: Quite some time. How have your evenings been?

MATT: "Well, very busy with our attempt to make it to Darktow and keep things organized in"preparation. So. Lonely."

TRAVIS: Any more dreams?

MATT: "A few."

TRAVIS: Tell me.

MATT: "How about I show you instead?"

TRAVIS: Yes. I'd like that.

MATT: So you begin keeping her busy.

LAURA: Oh. I see.

MATT: Or she keeps you busy, actually, would be more the--

TRAVIS: Yes, that's more correct, yeah.

MATT: While that's happening, you guys made your way back to the inn. It's a very muddied view of the ship because of the mist, but you can still make out the major details of the outskirts of it from this far away.

LAURA: Okay. I don't need to be able to see it. I know exactly the spot I desire. I can visualize it because we've been in her office before.

MATT: Correct. You have. So yeah, you can.

SAM: How does this work?

LAURA: I don't know. I've never done it before.

SAM: Well, is there a chance it could fail? Might we die?

LAURA: Never.

LIAM: Do me a favor. I'm going to go outside now, okay, and keep watch. Let me know when you're on and give me updates. Good luck. Charlie Adler.

MATT: All right. The best new abracadabra.

LIAM: Charlie! For every spell.

MARISHA: I'm on my way towards the docks.

SAM: Are we synchronizing watches? What is this?

LAURA: Doorways are the tits!

SAM: What? Ah!

MATT: There's a brief moment where you feel like the air's been drawn out of your lungs, and you feel as if you're being suddenly thrust forward from behind, somebody pushing the small of your back with such intense speed that you feel like your neck is about to just whiplash terribly backward. Then suddenly you come to a stop, and you're both standing in the middle of Avantika's quarters on the ship. It's dark.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on both of us.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Yas, queen, yas.

SAM: That was amazing! We are secret agents! We're secret detectives!

LAURA: We are amazing! We need to start looking because we only have a few minutes.

SAM: Yes. Oh, wait, I've already forgotten! Take out the wire, fold it just so. Okay. We're in the ship, Caleb.

MATT: What's the range on that?

SAM: 120 feet. Can you hear me? Reply to this message.

MATT: The range on Message?

SAM: 120 feet.

MATT: 120 feet? He's out of range.

LIAM: I'm out in the docks. You said the boat--

MATT: Correct. You haven't made it there yet.

LIAM: Oh, okay.

MARISHA: You're staying in between. I'm heading a little bit further. The daisy chain.

MATT: Yeah, because you guys instantaneously traveled. He has a few more minutes before he'll reach range.

MARISHA: So you guys, to Beau, to Caleb, to Cad, to Fjord.

SAM: Beauregard, can you hear me? If you can, respond to this message.

MARISHA: I can hear you. I have responded to this message.

SAM: We are inside the boat. Relay that message when you can. Bye.

LAURA: Okay, start looking. Can we both see, because we both have darkvision?

MATT: You can, but there's a lack of color. It's mostly some shades of black and white and gray.

LAURA: We should probably figure out a way to light up the room. Are there curtains?

MATT: There are two sets of small curtains that are currently tied off on the sides of the windows that can open onto the balcony.

SAM: Do you want to burn them for light?

LAURA: No, we should close them.

SAM: Oh, okay. That's better.

LAURA: I sneak over and close the windows quietly.

SAM: Just close the windows.

MATT: As a general note, I would like you both to make a stealth check as you go about your activities.

SAM: Hood up.

LIAM: Also, while they do that-- I'm sorry.

MATT: Just a moment.

LAURA: Oh, you already have advantage? Blessing of the Trickster! There you go, I gave you blessing, so you get advantage.

TRAVIS: Can you give yourself advantage?

LAURA: (gasps) Natural 20!

SAM: 18.

LAURA: Plus ten, because Pass Without a Trace.

MATT: 28, and what's your total?

LAURA: 24? No, wait. 34.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Fuck. Yes.

MATT: You both are (whooshing). For every piece of wood that begins to creak as you step, because it is a lot of aged wood that makes up this ship, begins to (creak), you stop yourself, and then shift the foot and you manage to make your way across here without any of the wood creaking.

LAURA: Does she have a candle in the room that we could light?

MATT: There are a number of candles, you could see that there's--

SAM: There's probably gap under the doorway, a gap under there. They'll see a glowing light.

LAURA: Take your cloak off and shove it under the door to block the light.

SAM: I would reveal my unmentionables!

LAURA: I take my cloak off and I put it next to the doorway to block the light.

SAM: I'll take my cloak and hang it over the curtains so it's double-blocked.

MATT: Okay, like duvet over the window.

LAURA: I light the candle.

MARISHA: I signal to Caleb that they've made it on the ship.

LIAM: I was going to say, once I'm out and about, about once every 30 seconds I will lean on

something, pretending like I'm slightly drunk, and I will go into Frumpkin's vision from above, just for five seconds, to look at the activity on the boat and where those guards are, and then go out of it.

MATT: Perception check for Frumpkin. I'll say at disadvantage because of the mist, unfortunately.

LIAM: Okay. Ooh, terrible. So terrible. That's six or seven.

MATT: Okay. You can see the torchlight from the two guards that are on the actual docks, and one of them's keeping an eye out on the water, and one of them's keeping an eye on the docks. They're stationed to keep an eye out not just to what's happening within the actual shipyard, but also beyond, as far as they can into the mist, for any ships that are arriving in the middle of the night. But Frumpkin cannot see the people on the actual deck of the ship.

LIAM: It's all that fog.

MATT: Yeah. All right.

TALIESIN: Does Nott's cloak unattune if they take it off?

MATT: Technically, yes. Now that you have the candlelight there, gently there, quietly.

LAURA: We start searching through her office.

MATT: What are you looking for?

LAURA: We're looking for anything she's written about where the last fruit tree is, the last temple.

SAM: You're going through papers, yeah?

LAURA: I'm going through papers.

SAM: I'm going to go around the walls and look for hidden safes.

LAURA: I'm looking through her desk, seeing if I can find any false bottoms or anything like that to try to find secret information.

MATT: Okay. Do you want to each make an investigation check, or do you want to help one or the other make it?

LAURA: Each make an investigation.

MATT: Then both of you make an investigation check, please.

LAURA: Oh, we get advantage? No.

MATT: No, you do not.

SAM: We get advantage on everything.

MATT: You took charisma and wisdom, so you do not.

LAURA: Shit.

SAM: 19.

LAURA: Nine. Which is like a natural 20 in this campaign.

MATT: Going through the desk, the first thing that happens is one of the drawers gives you resistance. It's locked. The other drawers you pull open, there is blank paper, a quill, a couple of small little ink pots. The next one beneath has a folded piece of cloth that you pull out and inspect. It looks like it's a cover either for the desk or something else. You're not quite sure what the purpose is. Checking under the desk, you don't find any other hidden chambers or anything that marks what you were searching for.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Nott, you were looking for--?

SAM: Hidden safes in the wall, trap-opening thingies.

MATT: Glancing around, there is a shelf unit with a number of books on it. You pull back some of the books and look behind it, along the back of the actual bookshelf itself. You don't find any hidden pockets in there. There's a small cabinet underneath, and you open it up and there's a series of wooden and metal cups, wine goblets and various types of imbibement containers. Pushing through there, you do find one panel on the back that's a bit loose, and you slide it off and behind there you see a small leather book.

SAM: I'll check it for traps.

MATT: Make a--

SAM: Investigation?

MATT: The weird perception/investigation thing for traps, this is the eternal debate back and forth. Go ahead and consider this a perception check.

SAM: Three.

MARISHA: What? What would investigation have been?

SAM: 12.

MARISHA: But you're a badass rogue!

MATT: It depends. There's a difference between noticing something's off, and then ascertaining the nature of whatever's off that would be an actual trap. Since you're looking for traps, specifically for this one, and not noticing something different, I would say allowing this to be an investigation.

SAM: Well, it's still pretty low. 12.

MATT: I know, yeah.

LAURA: This is better than three.

MATT: I know. It does not appear to be trapped.

SAM: Okay. I will pick up the book.

MATT: Okay. You pull the book back, and as soon as you pull back there's a slight tug on it, like something that gives resistance, and then comes free. A little piece of cable or twine falls to dangle from behind one side.

SAM: We've been made! Turn over the place.

MATT: (hissing)

LAURA: Oh no. Hit the deck!

MATT: This room begins to fill with a very faint fume.

SAM: Hold your breath.

LAURA: We hold our breath! I take out the paint and I paint a hole in the bottom of the floor. In!

SAM: Not yet, no! Hold your breath, we've got to look around! I'm still looking, I'm holding my breath and I'm looking. You paint, I'm looking. I look at the book, is there anything there?

MATT: Looking inside the book, there's a bunch of scrawlings. What languages do you know?

SAM: Common, Goblin, Halfling.

MATT: You do not recognize any of the languages in the book.

SAM: Taking the book.

MATT: You put the book inside your pocket.

SAM: I'm going to go over to the desk where Jester had pointed and start jimmying the lock on the locked thing.

MATT: Okay. Make a lockpicking check.

SAM: 15.

MATT: 15? It's not opening.

SAM: Pull it open. (grunt) And just: smoke!

LAURA: I try to pull it open.

MATT: Okay. Make a strength check.

MARISHA: Come on!

LAURA: 18.

MATT: Okay. You pull the drawer: it breaks open. Loudly.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: You pull the drawer open, look inside. It looks like there are a few small jewelry boxes that are resting inside.

SAM: Taking them all.

MATT: You take them all.

LAURA: I was just looking, but you can take, okay.

MATT: Okay. The drawer, do you put it back?

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: Okay, you shove it back in. The edges are splintered. It is very apparently physically damaged. You also hear footsteps descending from the outside of the door.

SAM: We've got to look more!

LAURA: (negative noises)

SAM: Okay, get in the--

LAURA: Is there a rug in the room?

MATT: There is a rug, yes.

LAURA: Then I pull the rug over the hole that I just made after we go under.

SAM: I'm going to grab a cloak off the thing.

LAURA: Oh shit, I do the same thing, I see her do it and I grab my thing and blow out the candle, and go.

MATT: Okay. First off--

TRAVIS: I don't need this in my life.

SAM: Now there's a permanent hole there.

MATT: What's your constitution modifiers?

SAM: Modifiers? Two.


MATT: Okay. With the little bit of conversation that's there, that's reduced the time, you're just now hitting the time where your breath is starting to hurt, so you both, holding it, dive down and then, what, you--?

LAURA: As I go down the hole, I pull the rug over the hole.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I have no idea where this takes us.

MATT: As you're doing this, you hear a voice going, "Hello?" and you hear the rattling of keys. You guys, by the way, you're down now on the lower deck, this is the deck where most of the crewmen quarters are, and you're down in one of the bedrooms. You glance over to the side and there's a person sleeping in the bed right there, the blanket coiled over. They're like, (snoring).

SAM: I'm going to very quietly say: Wait until you hear a body fall above us.

LAURA: (whispering) Take one of the things you stole and put it next to them.

SAM: (whispering) Okay. (normal volume) What did I steal?

TRAVIS: Jewelry boxes.

MATT: A bunch of jewelry boxes.

SAM: Can I open one up and see what's in it?

MATT: Yeah. You look inside and there's a bunch of jewelry, jewels; it's an actual small jewel collection.

SAM: Put the jewel right on his shoulder.

MATT: On the person who's sleeping?

SAM: Yeah, I tuck it under the blanket, like it was with him.

LIAM: Just like Macbeth.

MATT: Just the one jewel?

SAM: Yeah, I'm going to keep the rest for myself.

MATT: Okay, all right. You hear the door above open. (creak, footsteps). "Hey. Anyone?" The person who's sleeping is like (snorts, grunts).

SAM: We're going to crawl under his bed.

MATT: Okay, both of you guys make a stealth check.

TALIESIN: You still have--

LAURA: Oh no! That's okay.

SAM: 23 plus ten, still?

LAURA: 18. Shit.

SAM: 33, I guess. Right?

MATT: Okay. You both quietly duck down. (footsteps, crash). Your carpet falls down, the guy comes plummeting through, hits the floor, (grunts). The other guy suddenly goes, "What?!", pulls out a dagger towards the other guy, who immediately is like (yells), goes and starts stabbing into the carpet.


MATT: Going, "What?!" Other one's like "Oh god!" Pushes him off, and stands up, and is like, "Jesus!" You see there's a couple of stab wounds in his chest. "Zoen, what the hell, man?" Waldok, who you saw getting the tattoo earlier from your turtle friend. He's like, "Oh! Shit, Waldok, I didn't know! What the fuck, don't sneak up on me!" He wipes the blood off on the blanket. He's like, "Oh, jeez. What the fuck happened there?" He looks up at this perfectly-carved hole in the floor. Doesn't notice the gem. He's like, "Fuck." " I'm so sorry, mate! I didn't mean--" "Shit, what the "fuck happened?" "I don't know. It's a fucking faulty floor or something!" "Fuck." "Well, let's get you to a surgeon or something." He stands up and rolls off and the blanket falls over next to you guys. (clanking) The gem does fall. Neither of them notice it. You watch as they shuffle out of the room, and the door closes behind them, and you guys are now in the chamber with the open hole of Avantika's–

SAM: We can go back up, we can keep looking! Lift me up!

LAURA: What if the poison is still up there?

SAM: I think it's probably wafted out by now.

MATT: You do also hear the coughing of the man who was stabbed.

SAM: Down the hall?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Peek my head up.

MATT: As he's inhaled whatever had been released in the room.

LAURA: I will lift Nott up, to peek her head through.

MATT: Okay, you peek up and look. The door that looks inside of the chamber-- Okay, first off make a constitution saving throw.

SAM: That's a natural one. Maybe I should reroll that one, I'll do my fate die. Okay, that's slightly better: nine.


TALIESIN: We're bad at everything.


MATT: All right, so you are considered confused.

TRAVIS: Confused is complicated.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: He's going to tell you; you've got to roll to see what happens.

MATT: I'll tell you here in a second what's going on now. You get the sense at this moment that the other gentleman, while coughing, managed to resist the effect of the fume in the chamber. You did not. You do notice the doorway is still open, because he just came inside to look, and across the way you see them both coming up the stairs, because they're making their way up from the crew quarters, to the area near Avantika's chamber, which is right by the deck.

SAM: Tap her head: Down!

LAURA: What? Okay, I bring--

MATT: First, while that's happening, I'm going to go ahead and roll a d10.


MATT: You can act normally. So you can do that.

MARISHA: Oh my god, you're lucky!

SAM: Wow!

MATT: So you do.

SAM: I'm going to say: Down!

LAURA: I crouch down so Nott can--

MATT: Okay. You both head down in the chamber. They walk up past. Make a saving throw again. A wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Wisdom now.

MATT: Yes. Constitution to see that the toxin took hold, and now it's wisdom to resist the effect.

SAM: 11.

MATT: That's another failure. You're both sitting there quietly as they are walking across in front.


MATT: You watch as Nott-- suddenly her eyes go wide and she begins to drool a bit, and the body locks up. You're unable to speak, unable to move.

LAURA: (whispering) What? What's going on? Nott! Shit!

MATT: You hear now a little bit of raised voices and you can now hear this on the dock. One of them's going, "What's going on?" The other one's like, "I have to get this guy to a doctor, he got stabbed." The other voice goes, "By fucking you, you twat!" He's like, "I'm sorry!" "Oh, fine." They start leading him off the ship. One of the guards begins to lead them off the docks.

LAURA: Can I cast Lesser Restoration on Nott? Nott. Snap out of it. Nott!

MATT: Does Lesser Restoration--

LAURA: I don't know. I didn't even look.

MATT: I don't know if it does anything for this spell.

LAURA: Condition-- no.

SAM: It's a condition.

LAURA: One condition affecting and the condition can be blinded, deafened, paralyzed, or poisoned.

MATT: No. That does not affect it, so I need you to make another wisdom saving throw, Nott.

LIAM: Caleb probably has wandered close enough to the boat now, and hearing--

MARISHA: No, I'm daisy chaining to it, I give you a signal.

LAURA: Okay, that's good.

SAM: 19.

MATT: You do manage to resist the confusion effect. Aw, I was so hoping you were going to attack her.

TRAVIS: Yeah, she could be straight up like, "Nope!"

LAURA: Oh my god!

MATT: Would've been fun.

LAURA: What do we do?

SAM: I don't know. I don't know what just happened. This is a crazy ship.

LAURA: I heard them yelling. How do we get off of here?

SAM: I don't know.

LAURA: What should we do? We left a hole in the floor.

SAM: Let's call for help. Caleb, can you hear me? We're in big trouble.

MARISHA: No, me! We already went through this.

SAM: We need help! We need a distraction. Is Caleb there yet?

LIAM: We've established the--

MARISHA: The daisy chain.

MATT: Caleb does not answer.

SAM: Great. Going to try it again. Beauregard, we're going to need a distraction to get out of here!

LAURA: Nott, tell her nothing crazy, you know. You don't want it to connect to us or anything.

SAM: Mild confusion and panic, but don't-- what?

LAURA: I don't know. Maybe we can just get out.

SAM: We're going to disguise ourselves?

LAURA: Oh, right. Okay.

SAM: Hold on, I'll call you back.

LAURA: What are we going to disguise ourselves as?

SAM: You were going to be Avantika and I was going to be Ipess.

LAURA: Are we still going to do that?

SAM: It doesn't make any sense right now, does it?

LAURA: No, it doesn't make any more sense, though.

MARISHA: I wander like a drunkard past Caleb and I go: Oh, so distracting. Like I need distractions.

LAURA: What if I make another hole in the floor and we keep going down until we can get out.

SAM: I guess she will have seen one hole by now.

LIAM: Apologies to my German teacher from high school. I start pissing on the docks and singing: Laurentia, liebe Laurentia mein.

SAM: Are there any portal windows?

MATT: In the room you're in right now? No.

LAURA: Can I--

LIAM: (singing) Am Sonntag. (speaking) Urination. (singing) Ach wenn es doch endlich schon--

SAM: I'm going to grab that jewel that was on the floor.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a performance check.

LIAM: Okay. Well, I'm definitely pissing and singing.

MATT: Yes, you are.

LIAM: Yep. I have rolled such shit tonight.

MATT: So sorry buddy.

LIAM: That's a five. (singing) Von Dienstag.

MATT: For all that you've been drinking over the past 24 hours, the tension has caused your bladder to retain everything and you're barely eking out a sputtering stream.

LIAM: Oh, okay. Well, I'll do my best to knock things over as I go.

MATT: There isn't anything to knock over, these are open docks.

LIAM: (shouting) Hey, Macarena!

MATT: All right, you guys.

LAURA: Can I stand up on the bed and try to make the hole look like it wasn't perfectly painted,

like it was like broken wood?

SAM: Wait, wait! Just paint wood there!

LAURA: Can I do that, though?

MATT: Can't paint on nothing.

SAM: Fuck.

LAURA: I wonder if I can use one of my pieces of paper to like put on there and then make it wood, like, fix it.

MATT: Okay, you do that and as soon as you do that the paper falls as a plank of wood.

LAURA: That's what I thought was going to happen, but I wanted to see.

SAM: No, no, no.

MATT: It takes you awhile to do that. It's a few minutes to paint the wood properly to have the effect kick in.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: You can mark off another two square feet. In the time they're doing that, what are you guys doing?

MARISHA: While he is being a creepo, I go over to the two guards on the dock. This drunk piece of shit over here, he tried to attack me.

MATT: One of them has already pushed past you with a wounded man. The three of them making their way while he escorts them off of the docks, so there's only one man left on the dock by the ship. He passes by you as well. They don't seem interested in this.

LIAM: (singing) We will, we will, rock you. Rock you.

MARISHA: So, guy who was left, that guy is an asshole, and what's with that guy that just got stabbed? I feel very unsafe.

MATT: "You feel unsafe in Darktow?"

MARISHA: No, I'm just saying--

MATT: "Welcome to Darktow."

MARISHA: He tried to, I think, rob me? I thought, as a pirate, that I had immunity to that? I don't know, I'm just trying--

MATT: He shifts in close and he looks at you real closely and goes, "Actually, I don't think I've seen you around here before."

MARISHA: Actually, technically, I'm new. Great to meet you.

LIAM: (singing) B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

MATT: "We're going to go ahead and have a conversation off the docks. Please follow me."

MARISHA: Sure! Let's go!

MATT: He pats you on the shoulder and starts leading you off the dock.

MARISHA: You're fucking welcome. Go, go, go, go, go!

SAM: How's her painting going?

MATT: Still going. It's taking her a few minutes. You're still doing your distraction. Travis, you're doing good.

LAURA: Good show.

TRAVIS: I'll open the door. Is there any ice? No? Okay.

MATT: A few moments pass. When you finish painting, the wood falls. While that's happening, that moment is occurring, you and Yasha, in the tavern, are keeping an eye. You watch as one of the crewmates comes walking in rather rapidly and goes and talks to somebody in the corner that you recognize from Avantika's crew.

TALIESIN: I think I'm going to join in really quickly. Is everything all right? You guys need anything? I've been sober all evening so I'm happy to help.

MATT: "I heard Waldok got stabbed for some reason."

TALIESIN: Who got stabbed?

MATT: "Waldok!"

TALIESIN: Waldok got stabbed? But Waldok's so nice!

MATT: "I know!"

TALIESIN: Who would stab Waldock? That's terrible!

MATT: "Exactly! I'm curious!"

TALIESIN: Where did you hear this from? Where did this come down from?

MATT: "I saw him! He got stabbed! Right out there!" and he points out the door and you can see him motioning towards the bar.

TALIESIN: Oh, he seems okay, I guess.

MATT: You see him bleeding out.

TALIESIN: Come here, we're going to patch you right up. C'mon. I'll take care of this.


TALIESIN: Everybody come on, let's do this. Yeah, how bad is it?

MATT: I mean, he's not dead, but for his level of life experience, he's taken a significant amount of damage and if left it will probably eventually get infected.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm going to give him a level two Cure Wounds to get him going. That'd ought to heal him, right?

MATT: Go for it and roll.

TALIESIN: All right, let's do a level two. Let's see what that looks like. That's 2d8. Don't know why I'm being so fuddy-duddy about this. Do I get a specialty-- no, it's only when I'm healing myself. Okay, 18.

MATT: That's enough to bring him back. You concentrate on him, he winces and you watch as the wounds close up. There's no mark, no scarring. He looks at the wound and goes, "Mr. Clay, thank you very much."

TALIESIN: Okay, you're going to want to sit down. Take it easy for a while. I wouldn't get up for like a good half hour. Be very gentle on yourself. Why don't we get this man a drink?

MATT: "I appreciate that. You're too kind, really." Zoen goes "See? No hard feelings, right?" and Waldock decks him across the chin. Zoen falls to the ground grabbing the side of his face.

TALIESIN: Why don't you get that man a drink?

MATT: "I think I'm going to do that." He gets up. While that's happening, and that's happening, and that's happening.

LIAM: (singing) Hast du etwas Zeit fur mich?

MATT: What are you guys doing?

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to do what I originally planned which is to make the hole not look like a perfect hole. To make it look like the planks broke or something?

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh wait, no, should I do that?

SAM: They're going to find a hole.

LAURA: Leave the fucking hole the way it is! We'll leave a couple gems in the bed.

SAM: Two gems.

LAURA: Two gems in the bed.

SAM: One gem. I'll break it in two.

MATT: Make a strength check.

SAM: 19.

MATT: It takes you a few minutes.

LAURA: Oh, come on!

MATT: You have to take your dagger and score it a bit and then try and press it again. Better part of three or four minutes to try to find the right edge to bend and break it.


MATT: It does eventually break unevenly into three or four small, crumbled pieces.

SAM: Leave that.

TALIESIN: Someone was eating gems in bed.

TRAVIS: It's even harder to spot them now.

LAURA: Perfect. Now we disguise ourselves, yes?

SAM: We're going to cast Disguise Self on each other.

MATT: Only on oneself, but yes.

LAURA: We'll wrap our arms around each other and then disguise ourselves.

MATT: There you go. Taking the form of Avantika and Ipess, right?


SAM: I'm going to be Keg.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, okay. I'm going to be Molly.

SAM: Great.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: That's loud. Okay. All right.

LAURA: In pirate clothes.


SAM: Pirate Keg, Pirate Molly.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: The most inconspicuous person.

LAURA: With a cloak over his head!

TALIESIN: Just a purple tiefling.

MATT: You guys are disguised--

LAURA: I did it. I already said it. Still Pass Without A Trace. Still trying to sneak out.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

SAM: Up on deck though, and see if anyone's around.

MATT: Make a stealth check-- sorry, a perception check.

TALIESIN: You have advantage.

SAM: Perception or-- what are we?

TRAVIS: Perception.

SAM: 19.

LAURA: 24. 22, lies.

MATT: The mist makes it hard to make out much detail. You do notice, glancing up, there is an individual in the crow's nest.

SAM: (loading bow)


SAM: No?

SAM and LAURA: Shit.

SAM: How far up?

MATT: I'd say about 40 to 45 feet as an estimation.

SAM: I'm going to cast Phantasmal Force on that person, on that being.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I've never seen your eyes glaze over like that Matt.

TRAVIS: What does that do?

MATT: All right. What's your DC?

SAM: Intelligence, 14.

MATT: DC 14. No, did not succeed with a natural eight, plus two, ten.

SAM: Describe the crow's nest to me?

MATT: In the main mast of the ship that goes up, the crow's nest is in itself a circular platform at the top that is used primarily for keeping a watch on nearby land and details in the sea around, as well as direction. It's a vantage point for someone to keep an eye on the area around the ship. There is somebody stationed up there to keep an eye on the ship overnight. Or at least there for as long as their portion of it was. You can't make out the details of the figure from this distance. You just see a figure there. SAM: All right, I will make the figure think that his crow's nest has caught fire, and there are little flames licking around, creeping up the sides of it, and surrounding it.

MATT: Okay. As you finish the spell, a moment goes by and you hear (panicked shouting) "Fuck! Shit!" You look up and you see this individual trying to bat their cloak on the sides of this before shouting "Help!"

LAURA: Run! We run.

MATT: While stealthing? Or just running?

SAM: Off the back of the boat.

MATT: Okay. They have major disadvantage to try and spot you because they're distracted by the flames.

LAURA: Are we being stealthy?

SAM: Yeah, we're stealthing.

LAURA: Were stealthing.

TRAVIS: Or running?

SAM: No, we're stealthing.

LAURA: Quickly.

SAM: We're moving from--

LIAM: You're stealthing.

SAM and LAURA: We're stealthing!

MATT: Make stealth checks.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Still Pass Without a Trace.

SAM: 36.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: Okay. You guys both manage to scoot over to the edge of the ship.

SAM: The seaward side.

MATT: The seaward side. All right, You're heading off--

LAURA: The seaward side?

MATT: It'd be the starboard side.

SAM: Yes. The side away from the docks. MATT: Correct. You head over to that which is the starboard side of the ship. There's the ocean below you. A person screaming up top and getting more and more frantic.

SAM: Jump in!

LAURA: Put that book in the bag so it doesn't get wet.

MARISHA: Why did I get arrested?

LAURA: I don't know.

LIAM: None of us knew about the crow's nest person.

LAURA: We jump in.

MATT: Yeah, unfortunately perception wasn't high enough.

LIAM: (drunken singing)

SAM: We're jumping in.

MATT: You both leap off the side into the freezing cold ocean water.

LAURA: Let's try to go in quietly.

MATT: Still going to make a splash.

SAM: Baby seal style.

MATT: Thankfully, it's mostly drowned out by the sound of the screaming from the top of the crow's nest. As you both break the surface and glance around the vicinity, you can see some of the torches that are shifting from the other parts of the dock to come over and see this commotion that's happening. The screams get more and more intense before they end with a (yell) (impact). As this person felt there was no other recourse with the flames gathering around them. Then you hear (screaming).

SAM: Swim away. I'll hold your hand as I walk away on the water.

TRAVIS: I'm in a great deal of pain!

MATT: Yeah, whoever it was, they landed. They're alive, but they're not doing that well. They broke something on the way down.

TALIESIN: How's that charisma bonus working out for you?

SAM: I'm lying great.

LAURA: This is going perfectly.

MARISHA: You shot me!

MATT: Now the screaming is less frantic and more a pained scream while the rest of the various watchers of the dock start making their way over, while you guys are swimming?

TALIESIN: I'm wet and upset! Why did you do that?!

SAM: Just away and around.

MATT: Okay, so you're probably following under the docks. All right. Both of you guys make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: He's walking. She's swimming.

MATT: That's right, you're walking.

LAURA: Oh my god, that was almost a one. But it's not. It's a 19.

MATT: Actually, you didn't have to make it because you're walking.

LAURA: 19.

MATT: 19! All right. The water, as it's coming in, the waves are crashing against the rocky edge and shore of Darktow Isle right here.

LAURA: Don't let go, Nott!

SAM: I won't ever let go!

MATT: One end of the docks, you can hear the footsteps passing overhead.

SAM: Oh god! I'm letting go!

MATT: They pass by. You guys make it over to the edge of the rocks and, with the water pushing, you manage to not be dashed against the rocks to any point of personal injury. You manage to climb up. I need you both to make a stealth check to try to make your way back onto land without being sighted by any of the nearby guard.

LAURA: Natural 20!

SAM: 38.

(relieved groaning)

MATT: All right. You both are-- oh, you're soaking wet.

LAURA: But Disguise Self, to where we look dry.

SAM: I'm probably a bit wet too.

MATT: Actually, yeah, because you dove into the water before jumping in.

SAM: Yeah, I'm wet.

MATT: Otherwise you'd have taken the impact damage from that.

TRAVIS: (impact)

TALIESIN: Unless you'd have taken that dex bonus, and then nothing would have happened at all!

MATT: That's true.

TALIESIN: But you didn't.

SAM: Nope.

MATT: It's all good. You both climb up on there, dripping a bit wet, you especially soaking. A lot of the guards and the torches are making their way there, other ones are still starting to make sure they aren't losing track of their post. What are you guys doing?

SAM: I mean, just calmly walking away, right? Are there lots more people coming?

MATT: They're coming toward the screaming and yelling. There are still others there that are patrolling and keeping an eye. They don't all of a sudden go: Someone's yelling! Everyone lose their post!

LAURA: Do you think I seem noticeable?

SAM: No, you look great.

TALIESIN: You're both wet.

LAURA: Yeah, but we're Disguise Self, so we look dry.

MATT: That's true.

SAM: You look great. Do I look okay? Light my cigarette.

LAURA: Yeah, I feel like you may be less noticeable than a purple me.

SAM: You've got a cloak on.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: It's pandemonium on the docks, right? At this point?

MATT: It's borderline, but it's starting to calm a bit. Some of them have gotten up there, and they found the hurt guy. The spell lasts for how long?

SAM: Disguise Self? Or--

MATT: No, the--

SAM: Oh. The Phantasmal Force?

MATT: Correct. For one minute, so it's faded by now. As you guys are walking by, you hear the guards going like, "What's wrong?" He's like, "Ugh! I'm hurt!" He looks up and goes, "But it was on-- It was burning! What the fuck?!" He's confused and in pain and lamenting why he jumped and what's going on. The guards are trying to calm him a bit, and they're now starting to think something's up. You can see, now somebody is giving out directions to the other guards. Something is definitely not right, and the docks are now going into heightened search mode.

SAM: Let's get the fuck out of here, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: We're just going to calmly walk into town? I don't know.

MATT: Okay. While you guys are doing that, Caleb, you see all this happening.

LIAM: Yeah, I would have quieted down with the singing and just tried to go more lowkey. I don't know what's going on, so I'm still watching the boat.

MATT: Yeah. Make a perception check.

LIAM: And one eye on the Loaded Underwear-- What's it called? The Bloated--

TRAVIS: Bloated Cup?

LIAM: Bloated Cup. Fjord's Bloated Cup. What did you say? Perception?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Still rolling shit tonight. 12.

MATT: 12, okay. You're just watching this whole thing unfold.

LIAM: Boat. Bloated Cup. Back and forth. Waiting.

MATT: You're lead back to the top of the docks. The figure has their hand on your shoulder and calls over somebody else. He goes, "Hey, Waynon! Looks like we got someone who's stowed away here to Darktow."

MARISHA: I say: Sup, Waynen?

MATT: He looks over to you and goes, "What's your business?"

MARISHA: I'm with Avantika's crew. You can ask her if you want, but I don't think you really want to. Pretty sure she's above your pay grade, am I right?

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

MARISHA: Great fucking intimidation. Nine.

MATT: Nine? He doesn't appear to be shaken by it, but at least he finds a bit of truth to what you're saying. He's like, "Let her go."

MARISHA: That's right.

MATT: "Don't go wandering these docks at night by yourself for no fucking reason."

MARISHA: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you afraid I'm going to stub a toe in the middle of the night?

MATT: He just turns around and walks away.

LIAM: Quit while you're ahead, motherfucker.

MARISHA: Beau never does.

MATT: You guys start heading back, tracking this trail of seawater behind you on the docks. Eventually, Beau, you turn around and you see Molly and Keg walking your way.

MARISHA: I just go: Oh fuck. I just keep walking like I don't know who they are and I pass by them with a glance.

SAM: Good evening, madam.

MARISHA: Fuck you.


TRAVIS: No smoke coming out of the cigarette.

SAM: Dripping wet.

MATT: All right. You all eventually reconvene. You eventually complete your time with the captain.

TRAVIS: (door slamming) (heavy breathing) I look down the stairs. Can I see Caduceus down there?

MATT: If you passed by Bouldergut and you looked down, yeah. Caduceus is down there. He's actually in a healthy conversation with one of the members of the group.

TALIESIN: Talking to the guy. We're bonding, man. These guys are pretty okay once you get to know them.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll come down and-- A drink?

MATT: A round is brought to you.

TALIESIN: Weird night.

TRAVIS: Hey, Deucey. How we doing?

TALIESIN: Well, everything's not quiet on this end. One of our kids apparently got stabbed by-- Well, one of the crew stabbed the other crew. I can't imagine why that happened. There's been no word, but I assume it's just probably pandemonium all over.

TRAVIS: Oh, good report.

TALIESIN: Everyone's pretty happy, though. You should come down and have a drink with everybody.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll just hold my cup and wait for something to happen.

LAURA: Is anybody in the shit alley?


LAURA: We should probably drop our forms.

SAM: And dry off.

LAURA: Yeah. In the shit alley.

MATT: Okay. In the shit alley, as it has now been deemed, you drop your various disguises.

SAM: Are we still soaking wet?

MATT: I mean, you're damp.

SAM: Like a dog, I'll shake it off a little bit. Do you have any spells that can make us dry?

TALIESIN: I hope someone has followed this right back to the inn, so that's good.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh my god!

SAM: Oh no, your weasel's dead again, isn't it?

LAURA: No. Nott, I have Mending.

SAM: What's that? What does that do?

LAURA: It's a cantrip and I can mend things that have holes in them.

LIAM: Not a giant hole.

LAURA: Not a hole that big. It wouldn't have worked on a hole that big.

SAM: Are you saying to me that we made a mistake?

LAURA: Everything we did was perfect.

SAM: I agree!

LAURA: I mean, it went according to plan.

SAM: We got a book!

LAURA: Shh, hide that. That's in my bag, anyway.

SAM: We got some jewels.

LAURA: Oh! We need to hide those too.

SAM: These are hot ice! We got to get rid of these.

LAURA: What the fuck are we going to do? If she searches our shit, she's going to know that we stole.

SAM: I know. Don't worry. We're going to plant them on Allison. Everything's going to be fine, don't worry.

LAURA: We got to figure this out, like stat.

SAM: Figured. Done. Mage Hand. Allison's pocket. We're clean.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Hey, you did good in there.

LAURA: You did too, you're pretty cool!

SAM: Yeah, we're pretty great.

LAURA: Okay. We're going to go into our rooms.

LIAM: Charlie Adler busts into the inn and sees Caduceus and just stops the door and pulls out a little wire and says: I don't know where anybody is. We have to go to the boat now! Come on!

SAM: Who are you talking to?

LIAM: Caduceus.

MARISHA: Not to the boat! Never to the boat!

LIAM: No one told Caleb shit.

MARISHA: You saw a lot of shit go down at the boat!

LIAM: No, I saw people running to the boat in danger and you lead off. Pandemonium on the ship and fire on the ship!

TALIESIN: I'll tell you what. Obviously whatever went down-- we're going to just go make sure

everything's copacetic back at the boat. We'll be back in just a couple minutes. Just going to make sure everything--

MATT: "Okay. Good luck."

TALIESIN: Yeah. We'll let you know. I'll walk brazenly down to the ship with you.

MATT: Okay. As you step out of the inn, you watch Nott and Jester walking towards it.

LIAM: They dropped their shit?

MATT: They did.

LIAM: (protestant noise)


TALIESIN: We'll go check it out anyway.

SAM: Don't worry.

LAURA: You're going down there? Don't go down there, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: I'm going down.

LAURA: No, there's guards everywhere!

MATT: Beau, you probably approached right before they did.

MARISHA: Sup, guys. How was your night walk?

LIAM: It went very well, I take it.

MATT: Fjord, you're sitting over and you watch them all talking just outside of the inn.

SAM: There was a little hiccup.

LAURA: Schmidle of a one.

SAM: But we took care of it.

MARISHA: Shh. Who's around?

MATT: I mean, there are guards walking--

TALIESIN: Do I see a commotion from here?

MATT: The commotion seems to have died down at the moment.

TALIESIN: Nothing crazy going on on our ship? I don't see some figures or anything?

MATT: Make a perception check from this distance. I'd say with disadvantage from this distance.


MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I would never. Well, that's fine because even with a-- (counting) 22 with disadvantage.


TALIESIN: I love this. This is the best character ever.

MATT: Glancing over, you don't see any torch-bearing guards, but you do see a figure that is doing a visual pass on the deck of the ship.

TALIESIN: I might see if there's a torch-bearer walking around really quickly.

MATT: You see one that's maybe 25, 30 feet from you that's just walking through the street.

TALIESIN: Excuse me, sir.

MATT: Turns around. "Hey."

TALIESIN: We had a little trouble on our ship earlier. I was curious if everything was all right. I heard a little commotion.

MATT: "I don't know. It's not my jurisdiction tonight."

TALIESIN: Well, if I wanted to find out what went down do you know who I would talk to?

MATT: "Probably one of the guys closer to the ship."

TALIESIN: I'll be right back.

MATT: "Okay."

TALIESIN: I'm going to go find a guard and ask them what's up.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Hey, just throwing it out there, there seemed to be a couple of loose ends that we need to tie up. Can you make us an alibi?

LAURA: What do you mean?

SAM: Like, suggest to someone that we were drinking with them all night, in case it's asked?

LAURA: They'll know.

SAM: Oh, well then don't do that. Never mind.

MARISHA: Who's really drunk, though? Is there someone real drunk?

SAM: I assume a lot of people down there.

MARISHA: Is anyone real drunk? Look real drunk in the tavern?

MATT: Make a perception check. Or actually, this would be an insight check.

MARISHA: That was part of our crew. Part of the Squalleater.

MATT: Make an insight check.

MARISHA: Jesus. That's a natural one.

MATT: You only see one figure you recognize from the crew.

MARISHA: Oh, sorry. It's a four. Ten?

MATT: Okay. You only see one figure that you recognize from the crew and they are recovering from a series of stab wounds and are deep in their cups.

MARISHA: Oh. What's-his-name.

MATT: Waldok.

MARISHA: I sit down next to Waldok with another drink and hand him a drink.

MATT: He takes it and goes, "Thanks!" (hiccup)

MARISHA: Holy shit, man. I am so sorry we couldn't have been there to protect you from these attackers.

MATT: "Attackers? It's just fucking him." He points over at the other guy who's just like, "Stop rubbing it in. I'm sorry! You fucking jumped into the middle of my room at night while I was sleeping. What else am I supposed to do?" He's like, "Not stab me, asshole!"

MARISHA: Who's the other guy's name?

MATT: "That's Zoen."

MARISHA: I'm sorry we couldn't have been there to protect you from Zoen. What a dick. I mean, we were here all night fucking trashed, so-- If we had only been there.

SAM: The best.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LIAM: The slow creep on your face, Matt! Come on, high!

MARISHA: 15? Could've been better.

MATT: Okay, you talk to them, about how you're sad you couldn't have been there. You can see Waldok's like--

MARISHA: We were drunk. Here.

MATT: Waldok's not really caring as much, more just like, "No, it's fucking his fault!" and Zoen's like, "Oversharing?" Caduceus?

TALIESIN: I just want to find out what was up from somebody.

MATT: One of the guards is keeping an eye over there with the torch. He's like, "Yeah, it looks like there's a break-in of some sort; a guy was stabbed, got him safe. Another man broke his fucking leg and he's being taken care of."

TALIESIN: Really? Does he need healing? I can do that, or otherwise.

MATT: "Sure, I guess. This way."

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll take care of it real quick.

MATT: He brings you over to the dock and you look over and there's this guy, you know his name is Bart, he's one of the deckhands, and he's over on the side right now just going (pained groaning) and you can see, it's snapped. Like, bone protruded and everything.

TRAVIS: Oh, compound!

TALIESIN: Oh in that case, Healing Word, level three.

MATT: Okay, you may have to set the bone first.

ALL: Woo!

MATT: Make a medicine check.

TALIESIN: Make a medicine check?

SAM: Don't accidentally turn it to fungus.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that'll do, that's a 23.


TALIESIN: I love this character so much.

MATT: You walk up to him and he's like, "No no no no!"

TALIESIN: It's all right.

MATT: (pained gasp) (relieved gasp)

TALIESIN: There you go.

MATT: (gasp) He looks down and you can see there's a wave of relief on him as he doesn't have this like protruding fracture. It's set. Still, you can see the bone, but it's much better-looking than it was. TALIESIN: Let's give him a Cure Wounds level three just to--

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Or, what does he look like, a level two or a level three to you?

MATT: With that medicine check? A level two should be sufficient.

TALIESIN: A level two should be sufficient. All right. Let's just take care of this. Can you tell me what happened, son?

MATT: "I don't know. I was up in the crow's nest and suddenly it--"


MATT: 21? "Suddenly it's-- oh my god. Thank you!"

TALIESIN: While you were up the crow's nest, what happened?

MATT: "It was catching fire! I was trying to put it out, but it just kept growing and growing and I could feel the heat, and it was--"

TALIESIN: It looks fine up there.

MATT: "I know, I don't--"

TALIESIN: What did you-- what was the last 24 hours for you? What did you?

MATT: "What do you mean?"

TALIESIN: I mean like, I don't-- oh, no.

MATT: "What?"

TALIESIN: (sighs) I may have left some of the fruit that we picked up in our last stop in the kitchen. I don't know what you've been eating for the last-- that's maybe my fault. I really hope it isn't, but--

MATT: Make a deception check.


MATT: He goes like, "No, I don't think it's that. It was sudden and it was intense, and then it was gone! It's fucking crazy."

TALIESIN: I'm going to be worried-- I'm going to check to make sure I've got all this, just in case, because that sounds awfully familiar. Do you need a drink?

MATT: "Yeah." TALIESIN: Come on. We're going to bring you back, it's okay.

MATT: (groans) He stands up and like he's leaning on you for support, but once he gets to his foot, it's fine and he's like, "Oh, man!"

TALIESIN: Poor guy. Come on.

MATT: All right. You lead him over.

TALIESIN: I'm bringing back-- I'm going to just sort of-- yeah. Bring him back, and then tell everybody.

MATT: Some of the port guard are like going through the ship now, and they're going through--

TALIESIN: I'm definitely going to tell everyone my fruit theory, because I'm down a fruit.

TRAVIS: Well, shall we, you know, turn in for the night? Seems like it's been a crazy one.

SAM: Sure has.

TALIESIN: I'm tired.

LIAM: Charlie Adler concurs.


TALIESIN: He's very stern for Charlie Adler.

LIAM: No, it's Caleb.

TRAVIS: We'll all pile into one room before we separate for the night.

MATT: Okay. You all gather into one of the chambers.

MARISHA: We kind of stagger a bit, though.

LAURA: Should we look around the room and make sure nobody can spy on us? Look for peepholes in the room.

MARISHA: Look for invisible peoples in the room.

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: I'll do the same.

TRAVIS: Or how about--

MARISHA: Fucking fuck! Seven.

MATT: Lucky seven!

TALIESIN: Don't you have a spell you can cast that solves this problem?

MATT: The room seems fairly secure.

LIAM: That what? Detects a problem?

LAURA: That keeps sound in.

TRAVIS: What'd you find?

SAM: Good stuff.

TRAVIS: Oh. Okay.

SAM: We got a book. Well, I don't have it.

LAURA: We got a book. Nott found it.

SAM: Can any of you read this?

TRAVIS: Well, first--

MARISHA: I look over his shoulder.

MATT: Okay. It has some sketches in it. The language appears to be some sort of either a cipher or a personal shorthand. What languages do you know?

LIAM: Wherever they are. Celestial, Common, Sylvan. With my experience tinkering with Comprehend Languages, would I believe this is something I could--?

MATT: Probably, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah. All right. I begin casting the ritual spell.

MARISHA: I know Deep Speech.

TRAVIS: Was it hidden, where you found it? Should we detect to see if it has magic anyway, like a trace on it?

SAM: It was hidden behind a panel, like a false panel in the wall.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: If you just bring everything out really quickly, I'll cast Detect Magic on there.

SAM: Oh, nice!

TRAVIS: Yeah, just empty your pockets. Let's just make sure nobody's following this stuff.

LIAM: It'll take me 11 minutes to be able to read this if I can.

TALIESIN: I'll cast Detect Magic in the meantime.

SAM: There's these jewels, too.

LAURA: When we were looking for letters and words and stuff, we ended up breaking her desk and we stole a bunch of jewels--

TRAVIS: That's not as lo-fi as we were discussing.

LAURA: Well, and then the room filled with poison and then we put a hole in the floor and we fell.


SAM: Then we caused another guard to stab someone, and another guard to jump to his death.

TRAVIS: We saw them.

TALIESIN: Nah, he's fine.

LAURA: Then we jumped in the water and we got away.

MARISHA: That's pretty awesome.

LAURA: The thing is, though, Avantika's going to definitely know that somebody stole her stuff.

SAM: But we can turn this problem into a "proble-tunity", and we can take these jewels that she will definitely know came from her, and plant them on someone else to just sort of-- we could plant them on this Allison person who she doesn't like already!

MARISHA: She is a bitch.

SAM: Or maybe on one of her own crew, and have them killed.

TRAVIS: Yeah, well, isn't Allison not cool with Avantika, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend, right? So why would we want to get Allison in trouble?

SAM: Oh.


TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

SAM: We could plant them on someone that we don't like?

TRAVIS: Sure. Yeah.

LAURA and TRAVIS: But who?

SAM: How about Jamedi Cosko? I don't like that guy.

LAURA: I like Jamedi; I thought he was nice.

TRAVIS: Maybe we just hold onto them for now. They came in containers, right?

LAURA: Well, yeah, but--

SAM: We don't want to hold on--

LAURA: If we hold on and Avantika's like "Let's everybody empty their pockets" and we have them!

SAM: Yeah, these are hot rocks here.

TRAVIS: Are they just gems, or are they specific pieces of jewelry?

TALIESIN: We're literally looking at them right now, and I Detected Magic before we opened the boxes.

MATT: Okay. You open the boxes. They're a series of gems, some rougher and probably been scrounged up and found that are with some scrapes, imperfect but still valuable. Maybe three of them that are still well cut and have not been given any abrasions. There is a dull green jade necklace that does emit a minor magical essence to it.

TALIESIN: That one's got a little bit of tingle to it. I'd be worried about that one. Why don't you take a look at that really quickly?

LIAM: Caleb is not listening to anyone. He is sprinkling pinches of salt and soot in a circle around the book.

TALIESIN: That book's not worth its circle of salt.

SAM: We could destroy these gems and smash them up into smaller gems.

TRAVIS: If you're going to plant them on anybody, Vera would be a good candidate.

SAM: Vera? Why do you think Vera?

TRAVIS: Well, because she's a bitch. We got to get her out of here. She's, you know, wants my job.

SAM: Isn't that just because you stole her job? That seems like a legitimate beef.

LAURA: I think she's in love with Avantika, too.

SAM: How do you know that?

LAURA: Because she pulled me aside and she was like, "I don't like Fjord and I'll kill him if you want me to."

SAM: She said she's going to kill him?!

TALIESIN: Perception check. Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check. Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: I'm pretty low, so what do you got?

LAURA: Eight.


MATT: You can tell that she's lying.

LAURA: Okay, so maybe she didn't say that. But I still don't think she likes Fjord very much.

SAM: Well then we should roast her.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're definitely going to plant it on her. Cause some commotion at the top. Caleb, what do you got?

LIAM: (mutters)

TRAVIS: Oh, it hasn't been time.

MATT: We'll say by now, you've completed it.

LIAM: Well, it's up to you!

MATT: I know. So you can respond.

LIAM: (poof) All the soot and salt ignites, and then suddenly, whoa! What's it say?

MATT: As you go through it, it's hard to follow since it's shorthand, like it's broken sentences and it's pieces. They look to be notes from dreams.

MARISHA: Oh, shit.

SAM: That could be good stuff.

MARISHA: (gasp) Yes, yes it could!


MARISHA: It's got the apricot tree!

TRAVIS: Please be an almanac! Sorry.

MATT: It goes through discussions of mentions of Vandran. Mentions of being given the mark. The eye, on her person. After a ritual that was shown to her by Vandran, the dreams began. The dreams involved this great eye coming to her, with phrases written down: Provoke. Consume. Learn. Reward. It begins to discuss images that involve having to fight through dark waters, having to follow signs, being promised power with gifts and actions that show leadership and drive towards this entity. It spoke about Vandran guiding her, and then spoke about him getting cold feet. Spoke on him mistrusting the dreams, and his weakness. It spoke on an attempt to then gift Vandran as a sacrifice, but he got away.

LIAM: So Caleb would, seeing this play out as he reads, would explain it all very carefully, and delicately, because he knows how conflicted a subject, how charged a subject it would be for Fjord. But does tell everyone in the room everything.

MATT: Then discusses the search for Vandran. For months and months, to no avail. Eventually changing focus, to instead continue to improve the joyous boons, and earn the yellow light of the eye. More dreams, with patterns of figures in her way. People that were close to her, that she felt were barricades, chains that held her back, and getting rid of them. You're not entirely certain what "getting rid of them" means, but at least out of the path. Finding others that begin to also learn of the joys and the promise of ruling the sea and how, no matter how much Darktow is the center of the Revelry, and the power of the Plank King, who can possibly not choose to bend the knee to those who control the oceans they sail on. It then goes on to talk about other notes and scavenged bits, talking about the finding of Urukaxl. Of the difficulties in hiring people that would go there. The hiring of Jamedi to search out finally, over time. You find some other notes about another location, from another dream she had, that involves three land masses of different shapes. There's a few notes and questions around it, but one of them is saying, "Archipelago?" Seems to mark these as a possible--

SAM: There's three land masses, right there!


LIAM: She's cooked.

MATT: Then it goes into a few brief phrases about the newcomers. Discussing how the Mist was taken. It's not a lot written in this page.

SAM: Which one's her favorite?

MATT: All it says is, "I've found another chosen. Perhaps this one will be more useful than Vandran."

SAM: And I fucked him.

MATT: It does not say that. That's where the notes finish.

LIAM: Minor detail: in Caleb's deciphering of all the fragments, was there any sense that there was any kind of romantic relationship between Avantika and Vandran? Or it's unclear?

MATT: It is very unclear.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: What language was that in?

TALIESIN: What was the necklace, while we're here?

MATT: It's a personal cipher.


LIAM: Yeah, her own cipher.

TRAVIS: That's not great for us.

LIAM: That's not helpful at all.

TALIESIN: Well. Really, what's the necklace before we go any further to make sure it's not a come-find-my-shit?

LIAM: Which necklace would that be?

LAURA: The jade necklace

LIAM: First time I'm seeing it, not really but, just give me ten minutes.

TALIESIN: Is there any part in the book that is actually a cipher for its own. Okay.

MATT: Glancing through, it looks like you either learn it here or whatever it would be used to try to decode it is not present in the book.

SAM: I don't want to say that we're the best detectives because that's already--

LAURA: A given.

SAM: -- established fact. But could this be that we just got promoted?

LAURA: To what?

SAM: Commissioner. I don't know. Could be. We just cracked the case again.

LAURA: Cracked the case. Fjord, are you as crazy as she is? Because holy shit.

LIAM: Here's the question. Could brainiac Caleb with this book, which is her own coded cipher, Comprehend Languages with enough time try to study the recurrence of vowel sounds, consonance sounds, and try to create a key to this book?

MATT: You get the sense that this written cipher is not a verbal language. It is specifically written for her own notes and own purpose.

LIAM: Yeah?

MATT: So you couldn't speak it, but if you want to go ahead and decode it?

LIAM: But people break codes--

MATT: Yeah, I'm saying you couldn't. It wouldn't be able to--Sorry, I misunderstood. You couldn't speak it. Go ahead and make an intelligence check.

TALIESIN: It would be amazing if you pulled this off.

LIAM: I've rolled shit all night. Every roll.

TRAVIS: You're due one.

TALIESIN: But not this one.

LIAM: Natural 20!


MATT: Fuck, dude! Fuck!

TRAVIS: Rise, baby, rise!

MATT: What does that put you at a total?

LIAM: Oh, pretty good. Straight intelligence, right?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: 28.

MATT: Intelligence modifier is eight?

LIAM: Yeah, it bumped up to 20 when I leveled up.

MATT: It would be plus five then.

LAURA: Not your saving throw.

LIAM: Saving throw, sorry I was looking at the wrong place. That's correct. 25.

MATT: That is exactly the DC you would have needed to do this. It is set at a very hard DC. You only could have done this with a 20, you motherfucker.

LAURA: You have maxed out intelligence.

MATT: Goddamn it, okay! All right! No, here we go! It'll take you the better part of the night. You probably won't sleep which means you won't get your spells back.

TALIESIN: Take a second to identify the necklace so we don't get--

SAM: Don't bother him!

TRAVIS: What if the necklace as a trace on it?


MATT: It'll take you the night to complete it. You will not be able to sleep, which means you won't get your spells back and you'll suffer a point of exhaustion.

LIAM: That's fine. I would like to-- Because I was asking you a question and then suddenly it was happening, right?

MATT: I'm just letting you what would take. You know you can do this.

LIAM: Let's say Caduceus gives Caleb the necklace. He'll take ten minutes to figure out what this jade necklace is and spend the night decoding this book.

SAM: Wow.

MARISHA: Holy shit.

SAM: Best plan ever.

TRAVIS: O for six in the series and you crank one at the bottom of the ninth.

MARISHA: You got a book!

LIAM: It's not a book.

LAURA: That's a necklace.

LIAM: It's a necklace.

TRAVIS: Oh wow!

MARISHA: But you still get a book!

MATT: Immediate excitement and disappointment.

MARISHA: You still get a book, though! That's what I was saying!

TALIESIN: Here's the thing: are we going to remove the mention of you from the book?

LAURA: It doesn't say the name.

LIAM: Just says, "found someone special."

TALIESIN: There's no way of inferring within the book--

MATT: It doesn't have the name Fjord.

TALIESIN: But it doesn't connect the newcomers to the new chosen.

MATT: Hmm?

TALIESIN: One could not infer that the new chosen was part of the newcomers from the way she wrote it or no? Is it separated thoughts?

MATT: Not necessarily.

TALIESIN: All right. Worst-case scenario is we could mend a page and it will remove the ink if we want to delete anything.

LIAM: This is like that around your neck except it's specific to warding off poison. No poison.

TALIESIN: It's very helpful. That might be either--

LIAM: It could help any one of us, really. Would you like it, Nott?

SAM: It's pretty! Oh, but wait. It's a hot rock.

TRAVIS: We're not keeping anything on our persons. We need to hide it, bury it.

TALIESIN: In the best case scenario, I would say if we could hide this is someone else's room underneath their bed.

SAM: We could put it in the bag of holding or whatever.

TALIESIN: I would love for these to be in somebody else's room.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh. You dump that bag out or just go searching for a necklace, stick your hand it, it comes right out.

LAURA: It'll come right out.

LIAM: I say we tie it to a rock and drop the rock off a specific dock, and maybe we're lucky and it's still there later.

TRAVIS: Or we could old-school bury it under a tree, right? Mark it? Same diff.

TALIESIN: It's still going to be findable to anybody who's looking for it, though. I would really recommend putting it, I don't know, somewhere where we don't mind it being very specifically found, especially if we're trying to--

TRAVIS: Frame somebody?

TALIESIN: Well, I hate to put it that way, but uh, I don't know. This seems--

TRAVIS: Well, listen. I am all for putting Vera in a bad light, right? Avantika is going to want to know who did this. Yeah, Tiff. Old Tiff Fanny. Might as well put it on her, right?

SAM: Do we know where she's staying, which room she's in?


LIAM: We have to be able to have someone point the finger at her, though, because what happens if she finds it herself, later?

TALIESIN: That doesn't matter. It's still in her room.

LIAM: But if she finds it, she could throw it out. She could sell it. She could say, I found this in my room. I mean, that's unpredictable. I mean, we can't control that.

TRAVIS: No, but, maybe we're thinking too small-ball. If you can actually make a translation of that thing, that's the frame we've been looking for. We take that to the Plank King, we're going to get all the head start we can get. We know where the other peach tree is now, so--

MARISHA: Mmm-hmm.

LAURA: Apricots, Fjord.

TRAVIS: It's apples and peaches, so you know.

MARISHA: Between apples and peaches.

TALIESIN: We have to make sure that you survive long enough to get it there. I mean, I wish you'd just grabbed the book. That would make life more easy.

LAURA: If-- I know, we shouldn't have grabbed everything.

SAM: What, the jewels? We can just throw them in the ocean.

LAURA: We could just throw them in the ocean.


SAM: We could snoop-- We could wait until we see Vera at breakfast tomorrow and just-- Right? She's staying here. TRAVIS: Yeah, I think it's too dangerous to try and plant it on her. It's adding one step that we don't need.

MARISHA: I agree with that.

TRAVIS: I think we take it, once you're finished--

LIAM: This is the key. Anything else is a distraction, can only cause wrinkles, so we ditch it. Maybe somewhere where it can be found again, but it is not as important as this book is. So, we solve this, and her goose is cooked.


TRAVIS: Yeah. I agree.

SAM: Except if we bring this to the Plank King, it's admitting that we broke into the ship and stole it.

MARISHA: We don't need to take that to the Plank King if Caleb knows the language.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we do.

LIAM: We do, though.

SAM: We do.

MARISHA: Why? She could ford anything that we want-- Forge. She could forge--

TALIESIN: We still need to prove the book.

SAM: We still need proof that this came from her, that she wrote this.

MARISHA: We have her signature, let's forge it.

SAM: But that's fake.

TALIESIN: That's too much. I feel like we can take the book to him. I think if we say that we knew about the plot, we suspected, and were looking for proof--

SAM: Yeah. That's good, I like that.

LIAM: I have a question for the group, because I don't remember. Did Beauregard share with the group that she got tapped by the Plank King?

SAM: She would've shared that, right?

MARISHA: I probably would have. Yeah.

MATT: Well, now would be the time to share it if you hadn't.

MARISHA: So by the way, I got tapped on the shoulder by the Plank King. He's looking for dirt on Avantika.

SAM: What!?

MARISHA: I know. Totally mind-blowing. I know you had no clue.

TRAVIS: I don't think it does, right? As Beau has appropriately stated many times, snitches get stitches. If we walk that in there, the Plank King might just be looking for disloyal motherfuckers to hang up by their toes. We need to find a way to either message that, to send via messenger with the book and a codex that you've created, and let him be able to see the evidence for himself.

SAM: We could drop it in Allison's mailbox and say, hey, here's all the proof you need to destroy Avantika.

MARISHA: I don't think we need to do that. I think we just drop it in the Plank King's--

TRAVIS: We're assuming that she wants to destroy her.

SAM: Well, did you see the way they looked at each other?

TRAVIS: Yeah, maybe they need to (yowl) get it on, you know?

LIAM: Maybe we send Frumpkin with this stuff in tow, to his little perch with a note. An anonymous note.

LAURA: Yeah. I like it.

MARISHA: I think we copy the contents of the book.

TALIESIN: We have a copy of the contents of the book.

LAURA: Caleb's brain.

MARISHA: That's what I'm saying, we copy the contents of the book.

TRAVIS: A physical copy or up in the dome?

LIAM: I have a copy. In my noodle.

MARISHA: Sure, as long as you think it'll last there.

LIAM: Ja, I can write it down.

MARISHA: I will say, the Plank King offered me some good cash to rat out Avantika.

SAM: Yeah, he was asking for a snitch.

MARISHA: He was literally asking for a snitch. Now--


SAM: That seems legit. That seems legit and honest. He was making an honest-- Right? Did you get the honest vibe from Plankie?

MARISHA: No. Nothing about any of these people is honest.

TALIESIN: I think he'd kill both of them. I think sending it with-- Just sending it to him and just giving it to him--

LIAM: Well, it could be an anonymous note. Or we could send Frumpkin once we leave here, and you could sign it, from Beauregard.

TALIESIN: I would almost say, if we could give him the whole kit and kaboodle, everything that was stolen, top to bottom, with a note saying this is the full--

MARISHA: I know what to sign.

LIAM: Spill it, girl. Spill it.

MARISHA: Just write it up, and I'll sign it.

SAM: Ooh, who knows what it'll be.


SAM: She's keeping us in suspense.

MARISHA: I'll simply sign it with: How much?

TRAVIS: To go with the package?

MARISHA: To go with the package.

LIAM: To go with this, once I have deciphered it for them.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Unless we want zero implications--

TRAVIS: Yeah, that swings back to us a little bit.

TALIESIN: I say translate the one page, give the cipher so that they can figure it out on their own. Let's give the whole thing to him, just all the jewels, all the box, the whole thing top to bottom.

LIAM: Avantika's coming for your throat. This is the evidence, do with it what you will. We go to the pomegranate tree.

TRAVIS: Yes. Yeah. I don't know how we get out of here, but we're going to try.

MARISHA: We need the Mist.

TALIESIN: We'll be fine.

TRAVIS: Well, we need to wait until they apprehend her.

SAM: Then we can take her boat.

TALIESIN: Then we can take our boat.

TRAVIS: We do something.

LIAM: We could also add to this note that Frumpkin delivers that Avantika-- Here is your proof that Avantika wants your throat; the whole crew is complicit.

LAURA: We're part of the crew.

TRAVIS: Oh boy. You know-- Okay. Just throwing it out there, big picture, okay, because there are two goals on that map. One is the peach, the other is the peach tree. If we go to one and she goes to the other, and let's say she gets deferred adjudication and gets out just a little bit after us, she might be waiting for us at one or the other. I'm just saying.

SAM: But then we'll face her head on.

TALIESIN: Let's let them make any insinuations they want. The crew will fall the way they will. Again, I think giving too much is too much. The guy's itching for a reason to get rid of her. Let's give him what he wants. No conditions, no terms. Nothing.

TRAVIS: Let's just do that. Let's let Caleb do his thing, and we'll see what the morning does. Where are we keeping the gems and everything else in the meantime?

TALIESIN: In the safe, maybe.

SAM: Just one-- One other consideration.

TRAVIS: The lead safe? Do we still have that? In the bag?

MATT: Well, the safe in the bag you still have, yeah.

SAM: One other consideration, just throwing it out there. We're all spitballing here, right?

LAURA: Big lead safe, not in the bag.

MATT: The big one you ordered, yeah, that wouldn't have gone in there.

LAURA: But the little box that we have the thing in, yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: You know that page that you were telling us about that says, the three land masses might be the Grand Archipelago? Maybe, when you're translating, that becomes four land masses and a different place?

TALIESIN: We're not going to translate the whole book, just one page.

TRAVIS: No, if she gets the book back--

TALIESIN: Well, how is she going to get the book back?

TRAVIS: We do have the lead safe. The Dodecahedron's in it.

SAM: We're going to translate one page?

LIAM: No, here's the thing. If we just give them a page--

SAM: No, it's got to be the whole book.

MARISHA: No, no, no. He's saying we send a cipher and a translated page with the entire book.

TALIESIN: Does that make sense?

MARISHA: So that they can then take the time with their smart people to translate the rest of the book.

TALIESIN: He's making the cipher.

MARISHA: No, he knows the cipher.

LAURA: Oh no, it's getting late. I'm getting confused.

LIAM: I am going to make a cipher that can be used to decode this book. If we send a cipher and the book, they can take time to read the entire thing.

MARISHA: Correct.

TALIESIN: Let's rip a few pages out.

LIAM: Hmm.

MARISHA: They'll be able to tell, unless we do Jester's hint, where we Mend a few pages and get rid of some ink.

SAM: I would Mend the page that has the thing about where the peach tree is.

MARISHA: So let's just do that, and the rest of the plan stays the same.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Make it so.

LIAM: Ja, that's good.


LIAM: But we'll leave immediately.

SAM: We are so good at this!

TRAVIS: Well, once she's apprehended.

LIAM: Correct.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay. We'll send some food and water up your way.

LIAM: Ja. Goodnight.

MATT: All right, so who's holding what?

TRAVIS: The jewels in the containers go in the lead safe.

SAM: Where does that go?

TRAVIS: In the Bag of Holding.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I take out the silver thread first.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Are we all staying in this room tonight?

TALIESIN: No. I'm going to my room.

TRAVIS: Is it stupid to be literally down the hall decoding this journal all night from where Avantika's staying?

LAURA: Too late.

SAM: Well, we've got the silver thread up. She can't get in.

TRAVIS: It's just a warning system, right? It doesn't keep her out.

TALIESIN: It'll wake us up, though.

MARISHA: It'll wake us up. So who's guarding Caleb?

SAM and MARISHA: I'll guard Caleb.

TRAVIS: So will Yasha.

MATT: All right, so you guys will take sleeping shifts.


MATT: Mark yourself with one point of exhaustion, Caleb. You don't recover spells. The rest of you get a full rest.

LIAM: I only used one.

SAM and MARISHA: That's good.

TALIESIN: Oh, new spells.

SAM: I attack Fjord, sneak attack damage! Pretty good.


MARISHA: What's that? Where is that?

(knocking continues)

MATT: To each of your doors, shortly after sunrise.

SAM: Oh. What's Caleb up to?

MATT: He's just finishing making most of the cipher.

SAM: Hide that shit, hide that shit! Hide that shit!

MATT: All right, so you have to have the book to make the cipher. So you go ahead and go find Jester? Are you guys in the same room?

LAURA: I was sleeping in the room.

LIAM: I wasn't working on the book and the cipher all at once, all through the night?

MATT: That would've been-- That's the process that happened.

LIAM: That's what I'm saying, yeah.

MATT: You hand it to Jester to go ahead and hide?

LIAM: Ja. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

LAURA: Is there anything in the room that seems like it could be hollow or anything?

MATT: How so?

LAURA: I'm looking for somewhere that I can put a hole in it, hide the jewels in there, and then Mend it so that it won't look like anything ever touched it. But I'll know where they are.

MATT: Make an investigation check. This would be perception, I guess.

TALIESIN: I thought-- Okay, we're-- Okay, new plan. Sure.

LAURA: Do I get advantage still, if this was last night?

MATT: No, it only lasts for an hour.

LAURA: Okay. 13.

MATT: 13. Looking around, no. The room is shoddy in some ways, but it doesn't have large holes you can hide gems in.

SAM: It's in the haversack. It's okay.

LAURA: Yeah, but if I get searched--

TRAVIS: It's in the safe, right?

TALIESIN: It's in the safe.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Lead should block it.

LAURA: Yeah, and you don't think she's going to go, "Open this safe?"

SAM: She can't pull the safe unless she knows it's in there.

LAURA: If she turns the bag over and empties it out, everything comes out.

TALIESIN: That's not true.

TRAVIS: Yes it is.

LAURA: If you turn the bag inside out--

TALIESIN: Everything comes out?


LAURA: Okay. Okay. This was last night. I was looking for a place to hide.

MATT: A voice comes to the room and goes, "Hey! Wake up!"

TALIESIN: What's going on, man? Hey. Good morning.

LAURA: What?

TRAVIS: Caduceus and I will open the door to our room.

MATT: All right. You see Bouldergut out there with one of the guards and Willow Whisk, who's the cook. Jeremiah, who's rubbing his eyes. Bouldergut goes, "All hands on deck."


MATT: "Company meeting."

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure. Let us get our shit together.

TALIESIN: I'll go get dressed.

MATT: "Now."


TALIESIN: I'll grab my stuff.

TRAVIS: Grabbing our stuff.

MATT: Goes to the next door, says the same thing through the doorway.

SAM: Hello?

MATT: "All hands on deck! Company meeting!"

SAM: On the deck of the ship?

MATT: "Yeah. Yes."

SAM: All right. Aye aye. We'll see you there in, what, a couple hours?

MATT: Pets you on the head a little bit.

SAM: That's fine.

MATT: "Eh heh heh." Goes to every room and says the same deal.

MARISHA: Okay, what are we going to do?

LAURA: What does the hallway look like that all the rooms are in?

MATT: It's a long hallway; series of chambers, most of the doors closed. Looks to be four and four, and there's a stairway that leads up to a third level.

SAM: Want me to throw it on the roof?

MARISHA: Can we send Frumpkin now with the package? Just send him now, out the window.

LIAM: Right this very minute, he's a one-ounce owl.

SAM: He needs to change.

TALIESIN: How long does that take?

LIAM: Ten minutes.

SAM: We've got ten minutes.

MARISHA: Go! Go. Go, go, go.

LIAM: Stall for me.

SAM: What about the jewels? Should we get rid of the jewels?

TALIESIN: The whole thing.

MARISHA: Send it with the book.

MATT: The next minute goes by, and two more figures show up and they go, "We're going to the ship now, gather your things. There's no more waiting. Come on."

LAURA: Okay, okay.

SAM: We'll do it on the way.

LAURA: I have to get dressed, that's all. That's the thing

MATT: You get a sense from the vocality here that things are not right. Probably relating to events that transpired through the evening.

MARISHA: Gee, I wonder.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: You could just pop out of the room and meet us on the way.

SAM: Well yeah, they're not in the room. Do you want to pop out of the room?

TALIESIN: Pop out of the room that--

TRAVIS: No, I mean Jester pops out of the room with the bag and leave it somewhere, then meet us on the way to the ship.

SAM: Oh that. The haversack?

TRAVIS: Dimension door the fuck out of the room.

SAM: Well what are we doing with the book and stuff?

TRAVIS: Not now.

MATT: By the way, all of your doors now are being held open and they're expectantly waiting. The crew doesn't trust you, and they haven't really since you've been here. They're not like, "Cool, guys, let's go!" There's very much a, "We're getting everybody in there and shit, there's going to be conversations."

TRAVIS: There's no time. We're going down.

MATT: You gather your things, head outside. Bouldergut's keeping a watch from behind. Other members of the crew are being gathered and ushered in, as well as the crew from the Mistake and Orly. Everyone's being brought over towards the docks.

SAM: Do you want me to sleight of hand throw the bag down an alley as we walk?

LAURA: The whole bag?

SAM: Sure.


SAM: Got to get rid of it.


SAM: We've gotta get rid of it!

TRAVIS: No. I'd rather fight over it than lose a check, just going like, "Uh!"

SAM: I'm super fast.

TRAVIS: All right. Do what you're going to do.

LAURA: I don't want to lose the whole haversack.

TRAVIS: Do what you've got to do.

LAURA: I do not want to lose the whole haversack. Nope. It's got the Dodecahedron in it.

SAM: Just toss it, and then we'll come back for it. Behind a dumpster.

LAURA: Nope!


MATT: You guys at this point have been brought to the docks now, and you're being pushed toward the direction-- You can see the Squalleater there waiting, and there a number of figures already on deck.

LAURA: Is there ever a moment it looks like nobody's looking at us, or me?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: No. Seven.

MATT: You don't know. You don't see anybody, necessarily. You have Bouldergut walking behind you, and other people are being ushered in.

LAURA: Can I fall back and talk to Bouldergut?

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: Bouldergut, what is going on right now?

MATT: "I don't know. I wanted to sleep longer."

LAURA: Me too! Everybody seems so angry at everybody else. Look at the ship right now! It looks crazy, all these people walking around.

MATT: "I know, I want to just eat breakfast."

LAURA: Me too! While I'm talking to her and hopefully when I point at the ship-- Does she look where I point?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: Look, it's a space shuttle.

LIAM: Dumb as a brick.

LAURA: 22.

MATT: Yeah, just follows your eyeline over.

LAURA: I reach in the bag and I pull out the jewels and I dump them off the side. I want them to fall in the water as we're walking.

MATT: Okay, so all the jewels (bubble noises) into the water. Okay. Make a sleight of hand check.

LAURA: (singing) I wish I had looked at the Dodecahedron this morning. (normal voice) 15?

MATT: 15? Okay. You drop them off the side. As far as you're concerned, no one noticed.

TRAVIS: Who else was walking with us besides Bouldergut?

LAURA: Bouldergut was in the back, though.

MATT: Bouldergut was in the back, and there were a few other-- First off, you have Waldok, Zoen are with you guys. Bark you see being brought over from another side as well. It looks like he either stayed somewhere else or was somewhere else when he was gathered up by the crew and the guard. The guard only-- None of them go on the ship, but they lead you over to the edge of the dock and watch you all go onto the deck and begin to walk away.

SAM: Where's the book right now?

LIAM: It's in Caleb's possession isn't it?

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: Okay. You guys walk along the plank up onto the deck and there you see Avantika, Vera, the rest of the crew, are all there. You can see the crew of the Mistake are brought to the edge of the dock, and are held there, waiting. You guys are brought up on there.

MARISHA: Where's the Mistake?

MATT: You don't know where the Mistake is docked. You didn't see it when you came in. There are probably 20-plus ships that are all across the docks here. As you guys are brought to the edge of the ship– TRAVIS: I am burning so many calories right now.

MARISHA: I'm dying. I've never felt more in trouble.

SAM: We've got to get this book off the fucking boat!

MATT: Well, you're on the deck right now.

TRAVIS: That's the most sure way to get it seen.

MATT: The deck of the Squalleater. Avantika sees you approach and goes, "Good morning, everyone! Good morning. Well, I apologize for the problems. This should only take a moment to discuss. It appears we've a bit of an incident overnight, and I wanted to let everyone know there may have been some issues rifling through. Over here, Waldok was so unfortunately shivved by one of our compatriots," and shoots a glare over at Zoen, who's like, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry." "But it has come to our attention that there has also been... Well, to be perfectly honest, a break-in to my personal chambers."

MARISHA: (gasp)

MATT: "I know. Some of my personal belongings have gone missing, and I wanted to ask if anybody has seen anything throughout the night. I already spoke with a few of the crew who were here before. I have not spoken with you, Waldok. Did you see anything?" Waldok goes, "I was sleeping, and suddenly this piece of shit fell through the ceiling, and landed on top of me, and I was just--" It was the other way around. Waldok got stabbed. So Waldok goes, "I was walking, and I heard some noise inside your chambers. I went to inspect it, unlocked the door, went in, and things seemed fine, but then I fell through the fucking floor, onto Zoen, and he was sitting in bed sleeping, and he just fucking started stabbing me!" Zoen's like, "You woke me up, what am I supposed to do?! And where the fuck are we?" "Anyway, we looked at the floor, and somebody had broken the floor, probably snuck in somehow." The captain goes, "Thank you for that. Also, it appears that Bark here had strange delusions and fell. Or leapt, apparently, from the crow's nest. Did you see anything in particular?" He's like, "I mean, it was crazy! It caught fire, and then I jumped to get away from it, and there was no fire." She goes, "So it appears that there may have been some sort of distraction. Well, has anybody else seen anything of particular interest last night? And by the way, Caduceus, I heard that you were very helpful in helping our compatriots with their wounds."

TALIESIN: Yeah, it was no problem.

MATT: "I appreciate you being a team player."

TALIESIN: Well, it looked-- That leg was pretty rough. Hmm.

TRAVIS: Is this a frequent occurrence when you're in Darktow? This sort of--

MATT: "Oh, certainly not. To be perfectly honest, whoever did this does not understand the rules of the city very well."

TALIESIN: I can-- No. I can find creatures. I can't find objects.

MATT: "Hmm. Vera?" Vera's sitting back there and nods. You see her fingers trace this weird symbol in the air that leaves a slight trace. Her eyes flare for a second and she goes, "But that is okay. Because I can."

LIAM: I take a bit of phosphorus and squelch it through my hand and cast Wall of Fire across the entire length of the boat between them and us.


MARISHA: Holy shit.

MATT: That's where we're going to pick up next week.


MARISHA: The gauntlet has been thrown!

LAURA: Oh my god!

LIAM: I'm sweating.

MATT: Next week we pick up in the shipyard of Darktow, on the deck--

MARISHA: Not next week!

MATT: Sorry, in two weeks--


MATT: Oh my god, in two weeks! Oh, no! Curse you, Thanksgiving! On the deck of the Squalleater!

LIAM: Like the salt on the rim of a margarita, phosphorus through my hand.

SAM: It's worth its weight in salt?


LAURA Ho-ly dang. I should have kept those jewels!

SAM: Flawless plan, executed flawlessly.

MATT: It was a pretty good plan. There were just a couple of loose ends!

LIAM: We should have worked out Frumpkin in advance.


LIAM: I thought we'd have time in the morning.

MATT: There were a few moments to possibly discard a couple of key objects.

MARISHA: But we got the information we needed!

MATT: This is good, but you got the information you needed, and this is going to be a hell of a start to the next session! Oh, man! I wasn't expecting it to go this way!

MARISHA: Info is golden.

MATT: All right, we'll pick up here in a couple of weeks. We're sad we won't see you guys next week for Thanksgiving. What do we have going on over Thanksgiving?

MARISHA: Well the day after Thanksgiving on Friday is Honey Heist 3: Tova's Honeys.

MATT: There we go. We're sad we'll be missing you on Thursday, but on Friday we do have that awesome.

MARISHA: On Friday, watch us as bears? Stealing honey instead of very invaluable books and jewels?

TALIESIN: It can only go better.

SAM: (singing) It can only be better.

MATT: Oh man. My heart's pumping.

LIAM: The last ten minutes have been like, "Don't cast it. Just wait. Just wait. Just wait. Okay."

MARISHA: It felt like getting called into the principal's office. You're like, "Fuck."

LAURA: Yeah. And like, a principal that always knows when you're lying.


TALIESIN: We have video, man. I didn't do it.

MATT: Well, see you guys in a couple of weeks to pick up from this crazy moment. Until then, thank you, we love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Goodnight, guys.

TRAVIS: We're going to war!

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