Critical Role One-Shot: Trinket's Honey Heist

is the twenty-seventh special episode of Critical Role.

Announcements

 * Sam ran a generic ad using old recordings and just inserted "Marvel Puzzle Quest" into the announcement.
 * Liam and Taliesin showed off the new artwork books.
 * Brian was wearing a new t-shirt available from the shop.

Previously on Critical Role
Nothing, not really as this is a one shot.

Part I
Vex leads Trinket (played by Matthew Mercer) away from the town to the edge of the Briarwood as the festival is about to begin and he isn't allowed there due to his honey stealing proclivity. Once Vex leaves he meets up with:



Peddy Tuxpin - A panda (Muscle)

Waffle - A sun bear (Hacker)

Cookie - A sun bear (Brains)

Liam Las Vegas - A honey badger (Driver) After a brief discussion, the group decide to steal the honey from the festival and for this they will need disguises. Liam Las Vegas steals a variety of hats and cloaks from a passing salesman. He does this after the man mistakes him for a rat and Liam uses his carnage attack to claw his backside, scaring him away. The gang now have the necessary disguises in order to be able to enter the town undetected. They are helped in this endeavour as the gate guard had something in his eye when they approached and he mistook them for Goliaths. Once inside the town, the group can smell honey, but Peddy can also smell bamboo, wich are the discarded honey spoons on the ground. They are initially unable to immediately locate the stockpile of honey. They also see an old couple (the Jamesons) who are looking for their lost cows, as well as Pike wandering around offering samples of Slayer's Cake honey to festival goers. They are dissuaded from attacking her by Trinket, who is fully aware of how badly such an attack would go for them. Then they happen upon Reginald's daughter, Amelia who is offering free samples of her competition honey. Trinket accepts some and passes it to Waffle and Cookie, so they can use it to track to the source. It is now that they notice the third and final entrant into the honey competition, Victor, the Black Powder Merchant. Trinket recognises that his honey has black powder in it because he recognises the smell from Percy's boom boom tube. Waffle at this point, persuades Victor to fill his fez with gunpowder honey. At this point, a carnival barker announces the arrival of the Fire Ashari Cultural Dance Troupe. Trinket realises the danger of fire being so close to Victor's honey. A chicken that was wandering around eating scraps from the floor, including some of Victor's honey, is hit with a small spark from the fire dancers and explodes in a puff of feathers. Waffle is able to discern the direction the good honey came from, so Trinket sends the gang to follow the trail to the source, which appears to be the Sun Kissed Tavern, whilst he removes his disgiuse in order to frighten everyone away from the danger. Once the crowd have been scareed away, Trinket let's the fire spinners know he was impressed by their performance and steals one of the fire sticks. It is now that the gang can start casing the joint and formulating a plan to heist the honey from the tavern. Liam steals a small cart to carry off the honey once it's been taken. This took some time as he wanted one that looked like the A-Team van. Liam eventually found a cart that had been pimped out by the de Rolo family. While this is going on, they hear Mrs Jamison shouting for her husband. Trinket also warns the gang of the danger of letting fire get too close the the hatful of honey. It is at this point that two cows wearing hats, also trying to pass as civilians, happen across the gang and attempt to intimidate the bears using a stick that one of them holds like a tommy gun. The cows identify themselves as Bonny & Cow and being sick of grass and hay, want the honey for themselves. Peddy squares up to them and throws down. Cow drops his stick, so Peddy grabs it and realises it is a magic stick, that when activated turns into a giant tree trunk that can be used to beat an opponent. Bonny & Cow stampede the bears, but Waffle uses his cloak like a bullfighter, but fails to trick Cow and gets trampled. Cookie throws Liam into Cow's back so he can carnage at close range, whereupon Cow's throat gets shredded. Bonny attacks Trinket. He roars for intimidation and scares her away with the badly injured Cow. Trinket recognises the cows as belonging to the Jamisons. Peddy uses the stick to hit Bonny & Cow, not realising that it turns into a tree trunk and accidentally kills them both with it. Waffle also steals a cigar and smokes it to increase the quality of his disguise. As the gang travels through the now deserted streets, they happen upon a small boy being bullied by two older boys, whereupon Liam slaps one of the bully's on the back of the head. The boys try to defend themselves with a wooden sword, but faced by a honey badger and four bears, the fight is soon over and the bullies are frightened away. As a thank you, the youngster tells them the code to gain entry to the honey vault and let's them know how to get into the building. It turns out that his father is the head of security there. The team now start planning how to continue...

Break

 * Advertisement for the sponsor, Marvel Puzzle Quest.
 * Weekly giveaway with Brian Foster.
 * Jason Charles Miller introduces his new show, Starter Kit: Seventh Sea, designed to help novice players learn how to play and enjoy D&D.
 * Thrashtopia segment with Whitney Moore.
 * Learn how to play The Thing: Infection at Outpost 31 with Becca Scott.
 * Critters' art montage.

Part II
Cookie led the gang to the Sun Kissed Tavern, but they had to stop briefly on the way as the cart that Liam was pulling had a loud, squeaky wheel. Cookie solved the problem by urinating on the wheel.

They also heard the cries of the person who had discovered the Jameson's lost cows, just before they arrived at the tavern.

After a brief discussion, Cookie noticed a protruding pipe near the front door, so Waffle "hacked the main frame", which led him to discover a small alley that wnet in the direction they needed to get closer to the secure honey storage room. Peddy wanted to start a fire in the foyer as a distraction, but he was persuaded not to by Trinket.

After sneaking into the alley they discovered a nondescript, iron door which was partially open. There was a minor argument about the pros and cons of veganism as Peddy half-heartedly tried to convince the group to forget the honey and join him in the joys of bamboo.

Deciding that the open door was a trap, Liam instead attempted to climb an external pipe up to the second floor, but he kept sliding back down, getting quite irritated with the other members of the group who were ragging on him for his failure to get up the pipe.

Peddy hit his stick on the ground which caused an oak tree to instantly grow allowing Liam to reach a second floor balcony, once he was up, he urinated on the others. Then they lay in wait for the head of security who was stationed in one of the suites, so Liam could teabag him.

Trinket knocked on the door where the security head was sat in front of a bank of scrying mirrors, Trinket tried to trick him by pretending to be a door-to-door preacher. The gurd of course wasn't fooled and just assumed that the bears were rabid and were about to attack him. Peddy surprised the guard by slamming the door into his face just as Liam leapt on his back in order to try and tear his throat out, however the guard fought back and slammed Liam into the wall. Waffle joined in the attack, but Trinket warned the gang that the guard wasn't to be killed.

The commotion raised the suspicions of other guards, but the bears managed to trick them so they stayed away. Trinket also intimidated the head of security

Vox Machina

 * Keyleth (DM-controlled)
 * Percival de Rolo (mentioned)
 * Scanlan Shorthalt (absent)
 * Grog Strongjaw (DM-controlled)
 * Pike Trickfoot (DM-controlled)
 * Trinket (played my Matthew Mercer)
 * Vax'ildan (absent)
 * Vex'ahlia (DM-controlled)

Player Characters

 * Cookie
 * Liam Las Vegas
 * Peddy Tuxpin
 * Waffle

Returning

 * Tova (DM-controlled)
 * Victor (DM-controlled)
 * Amelia (DM-controlled)

Mentioned

 * Reginald

Quotations
Waffle: Alright, here's the question; how do you spell Sun Kissed? And I can't read.

Liam Las Vegas: I'm not a ferret you little shit. Have some carnage!

Cookie: We eat the gnome, then we get the honey.

Trinket: Nobody is eating the gnome!

Peddy: But she's so little.

Cookie: Look at her, she's covered in honey.

Trinket: She will destroy you, trust me.

Liam: Is she poisonous if we bite into her?

Trinket: Sure... We'll go with that.