What Lies Beneath the Surface/Transcript

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: My name is Matthew Mercer, Dungeon Master for the show. Welcome to the chaos of this evening. Before we get into our actual game story, and the thread of what has transpired in recent events, we’re gonna go through our quick announcements. First and foremost, tonight’s episode is sponsored by us! Sponsored by the new year. Sponsored by, hopefully, have our sponsor contracts finalized soon, and we can have an actual sponsor soon, but until then, we are sponsored by you awesome people who come and watch the show. I think Sam had prepared a bit.

SAM: What– I, yeah, I prepared a bit. That’s pretty much it. Now, I’m gonna need a little quiet, because we’ve gotten a lot of feedback from fans, and so, this new feature we’re gonna roll out. We’re gonna have a telephone number that people can call and complain to, so I just wanted to– I think I can use this mic if everyone can be quiet. I’m gonna just record our outgoing message for the– the new phone line that we’re setting up right now. So stand by. Thank you for calling Critical Role customer support. We value from your feedback and want to improve your experience. If you’re calling to argue against one of Matthew Mercer’s many, many rule violations, press one. If you’re calling to cry because Ashley Johnson isn’t on this episode, mash your forehead into your number pad repeatedly. If you’re calling to lodge a complaint about Marisha Ray or the character of Keyleth, or how nothing she ever does is cool, press three. You will be given five minutes to rant and don’t worry. Your message will make Marisha feel like shit within 24 hours. Quiet, guys. If you would like to complain about the technical aspects of the Twitch stream, please hang up and call 1-800-hashtag W-E-K-N-O-W. If you are offended by something Sam Riegel said on the stream, you can go fuck yourself. Thank you for your support. Okay, that’s it.

MATT: Good, good.

(laughter, applause)

(talking over each other)

LIAM: Pick up. Can I just, on behalf on all of us?

(humming)

MATT: We miss you, Ashley. We miss you.

LAURA: Always, always.

TRAVIS: Start crying before the show starts.

MARISHA: I look forward to all the voicemails.

SAM: Uh-huh.

LAURA: Yeah, so many.

LIAM: It’s already full.

TALIESIN: Yeah. It’s like our very own This American Life episode. I’m so excited.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Thank you, Sam, for that fantastic message.

LIAM: Wow!

MATT: We have some– I think, some merch updates if you want to take that, Laura.

LAURA: Oh, yes, we do! So if you guys check the store right now, there should be some Strongjaw Ale shirts available. I was getting some tweets about it, that, you know, we hadn’t put those in store for a long time, so, we made some more and put them in the store. Along with the Gilmore shirts, and the How do you want to do this? and the regular logo shirt. All of those things available plus there are some How do you want to do this? hoodies left from the pre-order stock that we had a long time ago, so, there’s a few of those left in the store, and… (ding) I have a tweet. Sorry. Sorry about that, and we also have these new, wait, where’d I put it?

LIAM: On the back of your book.

LAURA: Where’s my book?

LIAM: This is it.

LAURA: Oh, I have it out. We have vinyl stickers now, you guys. Aren’t they so spiffy?

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, look at it.

LAURA: Yeah, I’m excited about those, so those are– Those are here. Those are in the store for you.

SAM: For sale?

LAURA: For sale, Sam!

TRAVIS: Do we get them for free, do we get them?

LAURA: You get– you get– you want one?

LIAM: Heavily discounted.

LAURA: Here you go.

LIAM: Heavily discounted.

LAURA: Do you guys want some?

MARISHA: Yeah! I’ll put it on my white car.

(laughter)

LAURA: So, yeah, there’s all that stuff.

SAM: Amazing.

TRAVIS: Those are awesome.

LAURA: Yeah. And we have more hats too. There’s hats again. All these things, you guys. Just so many things.

TALIESIN: Loot!

MATT: We’re trying to keep up.

LAURA: Yeah, we’re trying to do away with, like, the whole, you know, pre-order and wait a really long time to get your stuff, so, now we’re trying to keep things in stock so you can actually buy it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, trying to get it to you sooner.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Alright, thank you, Laura. Also want to mention for those who want to check it out. We’ve been running it for a few months now, but we have our Talks Machina Critical Role after-show Tuesday nights, 7:00PM Pacific time here on Twitch. And Alpha. It’s hosted by our amazing Brian Foster.

TRAVIS: He’s a dick!

MATT: He is a dick, and that’s part of his charm. But yeah, so if you haven’t checked it out, you can come and watch us answer your community questions or ask questions to the @TalksMachina Twitter and watch us fumble our way through trying to explain our inane actions in the dice role-playing RPG we play every week. Anyway, check that out. Anybody else have anything else they want to talk about or mention or– or say something?

TRAVIS: Say– say something?

MATT: Say something?

MARISHA: You guys want to say anything? You didn’t say anything this time. Do you want to say how much you love everybody?

SAM: Huh?

LAURA: Oh, man.

MATT: Alright, let’s go ahead and get us down to tonight’s episode.

SAM: Bring on the catharsis!

MATT: Of Critical Role!

(yelling)

LAURA: Oh God, I got to–

SAM: We’re not out, we’re not out.

TRAVIS: We’re not–

(screaming)

♪

(electricity crackling)

Part I
MATT: Hello everyone

and welcome back.

So, get you up to speed

with what’s recently

happened in our game.

Vox Machina, our

band of adventurers,

have been traveling

across Tal'Dorei,

continents and planes

of existence beyond,

in search of the

Vestiges of Divergence.

Magical artifacts that

can help outfit them

for their coming struggle

against the Chroma Conclave,

a group of chromatic

dragons that had terrorized

and conquered the

Tal'Dorei countryside

for quite some time now.

At the end of

this venture,

you’ve all, acquiring

your relics of power,

your levels of experience,

and the allies you’ve amassed

through this journey,

converged upon the central

capitol city of Emon

in hopes of

finally defeating

and destroying

Thordak, The Cinder King.

You made a tenuous

relationship

with a member

of the Conclave,

Raishan, the Diseased

Deceiver, the green dragon,

and after killing the other

three members of the Conclave,

you went in with

armies at your back,

Ashari in the sky,

who laid siege to the city

as you snuck beneath

the streets of Emon,

emerging on the outskirts

of the Cloudtop district

through the help of your two

allies: Zahra and Kashaw.

You managed to bypass

two waiting fire giants,

push straight into the center

of the mostly ruined

cloud topped district

where you confronted

Thordak, The Cinder King,

in his large, swollen powerful,

primordial red dragon form.

(shivers)

LAURA: Sorry.

-TALIESIN: I was with you.

-TRAVIS: Gross.

MATT: It’s a favored

enemy, right?

Just checking.

You came prepared with–

with allies at your sides

and full power

you tore into Thordak

and while many

blows were sustained

on both sides

of the fray,

Thordak fell on

the battlefield.

In those moments,

as Thordak attempted

to retreat into his lair,

you, Vax, gave chase

and slew the dragon

using Whisper

in your grasp.

As a few of you came up

behind, Raishan, as well,

asked as part of the

accord you had made

to be given some time

with the corpse of Thordak.

It was decided that

this was not to be allowed.

She was not to be trusted,

and an attack was made on Raishan.

Though Raishan

also had made

a few unique choices of

her own leading up to it.

This led to a confrontation in

Thordak’s lair beneath the city

where you

all nearly got

your asses

handed to you.

By– by a

well-prepared Raishan.

However, in the midst

of this battle,

you did summon your

ally, J'Mon Sa Ord.

They’re the leader

of Ank'Harel,

the distant city on the

continent of Marquet,

and a brass dragon, who

upon arriving in this fray,

full health and

ready to fight,

was enough of a threat

to drive Raishan off

in her damaged form before

she could finish you off

in your– the

state you were in.

SAM: So, it was worth it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it was

definitely worth it.

LAURA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Yeah, it was worth it.

MATT: However, you were

then kept at bay

by a wall of force

as Raishan took two

of Thordak’s strangely

existing eggs

and flew into a tunnel

towards the corpse of Thordak

and then disappeared in

a flash of purple energy

before the wall dropped

and you all just arrived

halfway through the tunnel

where the corpse

of Thordak once lay

to find it missing

along with Raishan

and the eggs that

she had gathered.

And that was where

we had left off.

So, as the rest of your

party begins running up,

winded, bloodied

and still reeling

from the intensity of the

battle you just fought,

you have the intense

heat of a nearby cavern,

the hints of– of cracked

red-hot Earth and rock

that are kind of protruding

in small sections.

The sweat just

pouring down your face.

You run up and

you can see the trail.

The pool of blood that once

was driven by the wounds

left by your blade at the side

of Thordak’s corpse– missing.

The impact crater

of Thordak’s landing

still carved into the

side of this curved tunnel.

You see, as

Kima rushes up.

Out of breath,

you see Gilmore rush up

and push his hair

out of his face

and there’s a

moment of silence

as you all kind of take

in what has just transpired.

What do you want to do?

TRAVIS: Using my magic,

can I detect

which direction

the beast fled?

-MATT: No.

-TRAVIS: Okay.

I don’t know anything.

LAURA: Should we get,

I don’t know,

does it matter to

get any of his blood?

Maybe we can

track him easier?

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-LAURA: The body?

SAM: Thordak’s blood?

LAURA: Yeah, Thordak’s blood.

MATT: Okay, so you go

ahead and you pull–

Do you have empty

vials currently?

LAURA: I took a lot of potions,

so I’m assuming so.

MATT: Yes, you would

actually, so yeah.

So you take some

of the– the mostly

or completely emptied healing

potion vials and collect–

LAURA: I lick,

I lick the bottle

for all the

remaining healing.

-MATT: Little straw.

-LAURA: Like a Capri-Sun.

MATT: Yeah, exactly.

Okay.

MARISHA: I head back

into the chamber

and see if I can

find any of, like,

Raishan’s scales or,

like, Raishan blood or…

LAURA: Maybe give it a moment

just to let the lair actions

die down a little bit.

LIAM: What?

LAURA: The– you know, all the lava

stuff happening in there.

MARISHA: I’ll watch from a distance

and make sure that, you know,

it’s not boiling over.

-LAURA: It’s safe?

-MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: I’m gonna limp up to you.

You’re burnt all over.

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-LIAM: Hold still for a second.

MARISHA: That really sucks.

I want to assume

that was karma.

-Yeah.

-LIAM: Alright.

I do have–

MARISHA: I feel really bad

for that duergar now.

That sucks.

That’s a

rough way to go.

(laughter)

LIAM: I cover her mouth with

my hand for a second

and use the last of

Lay on Hands and I–

I checked with CritRoleStats,

I do have ten left.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So I’m gonna use

eight, eight of those

to heal you up a bit.

-MARISHA: Okay.

-LAURA: Eight whole points.

-LIAM: I only got ten.

-LAURA: Romeo.

What do you do

with those last two?

TALIESIN: I just imagine

like light slapping

in the face

just eight times.

Pow, hit point, hit point.

MARISHA: Lay on Hands,

Lay on Hands.

LIAM: One, two, three,

four, five, six.

MATT: The Oath of Annoyance Paladin.

Coming soon in the

Tal'Dorei campaign book.

LIAM: Thordak died like this.

(laughter)

MATT: Alright, so as

Vax heals you up

with some of the remnants

of his divine power still–

still in his body.

Kima’s kind of walking

up to Keyleth

and Gilmore goes over

and starts helping you

gather and

separate some of the–

What little blood you can.

A lot of its kind

of just dug into the–

the rock and the dust

but there are a little bit

that you can kind

of pull into it.

It’s not too

clustered and filled

with the equivalent

of coffee grinds.

What else are

you guys doing?

TALIESIN: Once the lair is safe, I want to

get in and start examining it.

-MARISHA: Same.

-LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

It takes, I’d say,

probably a good two minutes

or so before the–

the general tremors of

the lair begin to subside.

The presence of Thordak

being long enough removed

that the volcanic

activity begins

to come to a

small, gentle end.

LAURA: Actually, before

we go back in,

can I peek up on

the surface level

and see if it looks like

the fighting has died down?

LIAM: I was just about

to say the same.

MATT: Uh, okay, you

guys go up there?

-LAURA: Yeah.

-LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

Everyone else staying down?

-TRAVIS: Yep.

-(Same) Yeah.

MATT: Okay, while you

guys are waiting,

the two of you

rush up to the surface.

The outside of the opening

to Thordak’s lair.

Both of you guys

make perception checks.

TRAVIS: Don’t die.

-LAURA: Twenty-seven.

-LIAM: Twenty-nine.

MATT: Okay.

As you both

peek through the–

the heated clouds

of soot and ash

that are billowing

out from inside,

your vision clarifies and

you can see up into the sky

the thunderstorm that

has been encompassing

the vicinity of Emon.

It’s still rolling

and firing off

bolts of lightning

and thunder.

(imitates thunder clap)

In the distance.

It is beginning

to slowly subside

to the size that it began,

but you also notice

that the wyvern riders

that once rapidly

swung through the air

are all retreating en masse.

The few that still remain

into the southwest end of,

now maybe, about a

half mile off Emon,

and a number of

them are fleeing

and catching up with them.

It looks like they’re

being fended off

and the tides, at least,

have turned somewhat

from where they

began here in Emon.

You also do

notice that the–

the two doors that you

guys originally entered,

that you pushed through?

One of the doors is now

pushed off of its hinges

and has fallen

to the ground.

The other is kind

of partway off that–

that giant gate doorway,

and just beyond it,

you see what looks

to be battle still ensuing.

You hear the muffled screams

echoing from outside that gate

and streets beyond in Emon

of hundreds of soldiers

shouting into battle.

Large heaving war cries

of deep voiced giant-kin.

You see bursts of

flame in the distance

and what looks

to be bodies

occasionally flung

through the air

to disappear past the

horizon beyond the gate top.

This– there is still

warfare raging in this city.

LIAM: Can we see through that gate to

where we parted with Kashaw?

MATT: From this distance, you

cannot get that much more.

You can just

see the motion of–

You have to get closer.

LAURA: So, we can’t– can

I reach into my shirt

and grab out that note

that was on the arrow?

I never read it.

-MATT: Oh, yeah.

-LAURA: What is it?

MATT: It says, My gift to you,

darling, use it well.

LAURA: Oh, I knew it!

We have to find them.

LIAM: Let’s go look.

-Just a look.

-LAURA: Just stealth.

To see if it looks

like the giant is gone,

and if Zahra and

Kash are around.

LIAM: Why don’t we just cover

like half the distance?

-See what we can see from there.

-LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay, stealth

check both you guys.

♪

LIAM: Twenty-eight.

♪

LAURA: Twelve.

-MATT: Wow.

-LAURA: I know.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I’m– you know, I’ve–

I’m injured grievously.

MATT: You are.

You snatched from the

jaws of death temporarily,

you find yourself

physically affected

more than you

would have expected

and what seemed to you as

just an instant of darkness,

and as you begin to try and

follow after your brother,

you find yourself stumbling

and falling to one knee

and trying

best to keep up.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MATT: At this time, you

notice two figures

running from the opening in

that gate in your direction.

You see it first, but you

see it for a moment after him.

You see bloodied, bruised,

but still in a full sprint

both Kashaw and Zahra

rushing in your direction

and you hear Kash

just yelling out,

“Vox Machina!

You’re alive, right?”

LAURA: Keep it down, you fuck!

Come on, come on

into this hole.

MATT: “Hole?”

“Yes, the hole, darling.”

“Right.”

And they both rush up

and as you guys are

catching up with them,

you notice, by the gate,

pushing through

what looks to be

another fire giant

wielding a sword

kind of dragged behind,

kind of pour through.

(yells)

And just begins

going into a–

a large bounding

sprint in your direction.

-LAURA: Oh, God.

-LIAM: Running.

LAURA: Giants, giants at the door.

-Giants!

-TALIESIN: I am moving towards it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, now we’re all going

on up towards the hole.

-MATT: Okay.

-LAURA: Can I shoot an arrow at him?

MATT: As you’re saying “giants”

into your ear,

you watch as two

crossbow bolts kinda…

into the back of the head

of the giant and giant goes…

and stops and looks

over the shoulder

and you see a flash

of light behind him.

An impact into the back of the

black ironed giant’s armor.

Like a sudden impact of a fiery

meteor just slams into it.

(yells)

And the giant

stumbles to one knee

before another blow

hits him right across

the back of the head

and the fire giant

just falls on face first

unconscious onto the ground.

Little cloud of dust and dirt

kind of billows up to the sides.

There you see, by

the front of the gate,

you see Jarret with crossbow

right there and standing,

and now stepping up onto the

back of the giant’s armor

and slamming a flashing

bright radiant war hammer

into the back of its neck.

You see,

in chain mail,

long beard,

white streaked,

billowing war torn

hair pulled into

a tight ponytail

towards the back,

a familiar face.

You see Kerrek,

currently of white–

of Westruun standing,

wipes his brow

and looks up and takes notice

of your presence immediately.

Patrick, if you want

to come on the stage.

LAURA: What the fuck?

(applause, cheers)

SAM: Geez, Louise!

Patrick Rothfuss.

LAURA: Scooch on by since it’s

so easy to make your way.

(laughing)

MATT: Our set is so conducive

to movement.

TRAVIS: Oh!

I didn’t break it.

-LAURA: The whole set falls down.

-MATT: I know!

LAURA: Kerrek, you can fight!

PATRICK: I get to sit

next to my besty.

MARISHA: Yeah!

My new besty.

-LIAM: What in the fuck?

-LAURA: I thought you were–

I thought–

you can fight?

PATRICK: Uh.

LAURA: Uh, yeah, you just brought

down a giant, no big deal.

PATRICK: Uh, team effort.

Like is everything cool now?

Like is this

the last of them?

MATT: For one, I think you might

want to move a little bit over

to get into the camera.

TRAVIS: Yes, come on over.

MATT: Just a smidge

for the audience.

-LAURA: Yeah.

-LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: There you go,

and as you’ve been in this

fray for quite some time

and the exhaustion’s starting

to mount on you a bit,

and the–

the two individuals

that you and your–

your allies have come upon,

being the smaller unit,

you manage to penetrate

further into the city

then the main armies that were

pushing towards the gates.

You saw the

golden-armored human

and the Tiefling

currently struggling with,

what looked to be,

five fire giants.

Three that had come up behind

the two that they had ensnared,

and after minutes of battle

and tearing through them

it looks like you

finally gain the upper hand.

You’ve lost a number

of allies through this–

this incursion, however,

these are the really, really

familiar welcome faces

given the perpetual

onslaught that you’ve seen

since you first

arrived in Emon.

PATRICK: He–he probably just says,

“Is it done?”

LAURA: Is it?

PATRICK: That’s his–

that’s his opener.

LAURA: I mean, eh.

LIAM: Ish.

LAURA: Thordak was killed.

MATT: Kashaw pipes up and says,

“So you killed the thing?

You killed it,

it’s dead, right?”

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: “Please tell me

you killed the thing.”

LAURA: Yes, the thing is dead.

-LIAM: We killed thing.

-LAURA: And gone.

Literally, gone.

-MATT: “Great.”

-LAURA: Stolen.

MATT: “Fantastic, that’s–

that’s wonderful, great.”

-“We can go home.”

-PATRICK: Stolen?

LAURA: Can I hug Zahra?

MATT: Yeah, she– she

eagerly puts her arms out

and as you guys kind

of embrace real fast,

she kind of– both of you

almost, from the impact,

stop, the bruising sets in.

-MATT: “Darling, careful.”

-LAURA: Yeah, yeah, I know, darling.

Injured.

PATRICK: How– how do

these guys look?

MATT: You don’t see them yet,

you just see these two.

And after a moment

of these hugs happen,

you kind of

catch your breath.

You notice a few

more figures appear

from out of this large

craterous hole in the ground

in the center of

this ruined district,

and from there you watch

as the familiar Percival,

Scanlan, oh no,

you stay behind?

Grog and Keyleth all

emerge from the hole.

PATRICK: How’s she look?

SAM: Whoo!

MATT: A little– a little

singed, a little burned.

A little worse

for wear, but alive.

Can’t say that

much different

from the rest of

her allies as well.

PATRICK: Okay.

I might actually kind of lumber

a little bit in that direction

as if I were going in for a hug,

and then stop when I remember

that maybe I’m not

that sort of person.

(laughter)

It looks– it looks

actually very awkward.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh, good.

This is– this is a face

I would like to see.

MARISHA: Kerr?

LAURA: He just killed

a giant with his

giant hammer of

blazing white–

MARISHA: Keyleth just

closes the distance

and runs up and

just hugs Kerr.

PATRICK: Big bear hug,

big bear hug.

MARISHA: What are you doing here?

PATRICK: Same as everyone.

Been doing– doing as

much as a person can do.

MARISHA: I got your gift.

PATRICK: I’m so glad of that.

-MARISHA: It meant everything.

-PATRICK: Oh.

MARISHA: Maybe even a little

too literally, like–

like 20 minutes ago.

A lot of passing through

fire here lately.

PATRICK: Yeah.

TALIESIN: To break the

awkward briefly, dear.

TRAVIS: Yeah, much

war still happening.

-LAURA: Maybe we should go down.

-TALIESIN: Wait!

MARISHA: I sky write up in the air,

is there like a–

like a sigil of Emon?

Like a–

MATT: I mean, there is a

crest for the city.

You can do a simplified

version of it, if you like.

MARISHA: I do that into the

sky with Sky Write.

MATT: Okay, so the storm,

which is still raging,

but it’s moving itself

southwest to almost follow the–

the wyvern riders that have

survived this battle so far

and are fleeing

from the scene.

The clouds then begin

to shift and shape

and the darkness separates

into what looks like

little plumes of white

that spell out a very basic

rendition of the symbol of Emon.

♪

What else you wanna do?

TRAVIS: Is Kash there?

MATT: Kash is there

with you guys.

-TRAVIS: How’s he look?

-TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: He looks pretty messed up.

There are a few large

sections of armor

that have been

just cloven through

and you see a number

of flesh wounds sustained

but nothing mortal, but he–

He holds himself

with a kind of a

knowing confidence

with his arms crossed,

but as soon as any sort

of physical movement,

there is a little

bit of a wheeze

and a trying to cover

for the physical impact

of the battle

he’s just sustained.

TRAVIS: You look a little

worse for the wear there.

MATT: “I don’t know what

you mean, I’m sorry.”

TRAVIS: Oh, I’m sorry.

Z, did he go unconscious?

MATT: “Actually, no, he

fought quite bravely.”

-TRAVIS: Are you lying?

-MATT: “No.”

-TRAVIS: Shit.

-MARISHA: She’s lying.

TRAVIS: Good job,

I guess, Kash.

MATT: He goes, “You didn’t

too bad yourself, big man.”

Smacks you on the

shoulder and goes…

(whimpering)

TRAVIS: No, that would

never hurt me.

LIAM: I’m gonna walk up

to him as well,

cause he looks

fucked up and say,

“Hey, thank you for

the assist, Spanky.”

And I’m gonna give

him two slaps of the cheek

and leave a couple of

black feathers stuck there

with sweat and use the last

of my Lay on Hands on him.

TALIESIN: Now that– now that we’ve

sent the word, maybe now–

(indistinct talking)

The conversation’s

underground.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Everything hurts.

MATT: What’s your

armor class?

LIAM: Twenty-one.

MATT: He knees you gently

enough in the nuts

to get you to

drop to one knee.

TRAVIS: “Gently enough.”

MATT: “That’s two.”

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes, good

throwback!

LIAM: I laugh through it.

TRAVIS: Good callback.

TALIESIN: Are there– are

there any soldiers

running around

by the way?

Right now, any

of our people?

MATT: Right now, some soldiers

are beginning to pour in

through the gate

that they emerged from.

Some of your allies,

some from other armies

that are starting

to find their way

towards the center

core of the city.

Not everyone’s been

made aware that the–

the center of this battle

has already been

won, essentially.

TRAVIS: Damn it.

MATT: So, people are

starting to come in

and calm down a bit

and then rush back out

to see what else is there.

You watch as a few wyvern riders

try and scoot through the sky

to catch up with the rest of

them as a bolt of lightning…

Slams into one

and you see it…

(yells)

Streak and tumble

and then crash somewhere

on the outside

of the district.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna fire a couple

of times into the air

just to get some

attention and just,

“Spread the word,

Thordak has fallen!

Spread the word!”

Now, we can go down.

MATT: You see some of the

soldiers immediately

kind of look at each other

and you can hear the–

sound of the shouting and

whispering back and forth.

Voices are shouting, “Thordak

has fallen! Thordak has fallen!

Thordak has fallen!”

It starts just carrying

throughout the city and echoing.

MARISHA: Call the locksmith!

MATT: Everyone goes, “What?”

“Sorry, Thordak has fallen!”

(laughter)

So, as you–

you follow them

and gather into the

area, or you want to–

PATRICK: I’d say, just as–

and I have to go talk.

I’m like,

“Samantha, it’s you.

Circle everyone up.

Make sure the people

are taken care of.”

MATT: “Yes.”

PATRICK: And it’s just

like, 30–

SAM: Another campaign going on.

lots of campaigns have

just briefly touched.

PATRICK: It’s a couple–

a couple dozen

moderately well armored,

but you know, like…

These– these are not

maybe crack troops.

They have a

lot of heart.

LIAM: Do they have

any hit points?

PATRICK: More than you

might expect.

Yeah, and so I just,

I square them away.

They can take care

of themselves by now,

at least for a bit.

MATT: Yeah, they set

up a small perimeter

to the entrance ways

to the district

and are awaiting

other forces to arrive

and inform them

of what’s going on

and still stay alert for any

stragglers of the battle.

LIAM: What a world,

what a world.

MATT: As you–

What’d you do?

MARISHA: I just– I grab Kerr and I start

ushering him down into the hole.

PATRICK: Okay.

MARISHA: Into the hole!

MATT: Laura.

LAURA: I’m so sorry!

MATT: You are– you’re my

favorite 13 year old.

PATRICK: It’s– it’s

a lovely hole.

(laughter)

-LIAM: That’s what they tell me.

-MATT: There’s room for everyone.

PATRICK: It’s been a long

time for me, you know.

I haven’t done

this recently.

LIAM: I’m in here

all the time.

All the time.

MATT: While this is

happening, Scanlan,

you stayed down there

with Kima and Gilmore.

SAM: Yeah, I sort of moseyed my

way back to the beginning–

to the opening

of the lair,

like, where I had

tossed the flute.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: And I pick it up,

and I carefully divide

my sachet of Suude

into three parts.

Three thirds.

And I’m going to

snort one third of it.

MATT: Okay.

The large brass dragon

that has currently

-been heading at the end–

-SAM: He can watch.

They can watch, they

can watch, they can watch.

MATT: At the end of the

tunnel, Devo'ssa,

they’ve slowly brought down

to their hands and knees

after travelling through

and scoping out

the interior

of the lair.

Approaches you as you’re pulling

out your stash and you know,

Gilmore and Kima

approaching as well.

“What have you there?”

SAM: I’ve had a…

Not a great

day, Devo'ssa.

Thank you for coming.

For answering our call.

I just need a second to

myself if you don’t mind.

LAURA: Isn’t Pike

still down there?

MATT: Technically, Pike would

still be down there with him.

SAM: Maybe just

turn a wing?

(laughter)

MATT: They give a

curious glance

as Gilmore

kind of walks up

and brushes

his hair back,

which it catches

your eye interestingly.

There is like a glowing

rune of some kind

in the center of

Gilmore’s forehead.

He kind of brushes the hair

out of the way and he goes,

“If a man wants some privacy,

give him some privacy.

I just want to ask

you a few questions.

It’s not very often

I get to talk to…

J'Mon.”

And Gilmore walks up

as the dragon sits back up

and puts out a claw and kind

of lifts Gilmore into his claw.

They both begin having a

conversation back and forth,

which, at this point

Pike is also curious

and begins to

pay attention

and sidles

up next to you

as you begin

divvying out and goes–

SAM: Are they talking

in their language,

the Marquet

language or–

MATT: If you want

to listen in–

SAM: No, no, I’m just curious.

MATT: Marquesian, and

yes, they are.

-SAM: Exciting.

-TALIESIN: I don’t speak that.

MATT: As you begin

taking it out

and you’re getting ready to go

ahead and snort one portion.

SAM: One third.

MATT: One third of

your Suude.

Pike approaches

from behind

and claps her gauntlet

onto your shoulder and says,

“Scanlan, you okay?”

SAM: Oh, yeah, I just–

This is some, some

healing herbs that I got.

MATT: “Okay, well, if I–

I’m trained in–

in medicinal applications

if you need my help.”

(laughter)

SAM: I put it away.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Pike cures all.

MATT: She looks over towards Kima

and Kima is now

approaching the rest of you guys

and walking into the lair

and they’re feeling

out the vicinity

to see if the lair actions

have come to a halt,

and made it safe.

And so Pike begins

shouting out orders, like,

“Alright, we have

to make a perimeter!

Make sure there’s

no other exits!

Make sure there’s no–

nothing else waiting

for us in this cavern!

I’m giving

orders to a dragon.

You, dragon!

Help us do a

perimeter, please!”

And kind of interrupting

the conversation

between Devo'ssa

and Gilmore.

The brass dragon

turns the head down.

“Well, if you

insist, small one.”

And sets Gilmore back down

onto the center of

the lair floor and…

They just begin

to walk perimeter

as Pike joins up and you are

still left alone in the tunnel,

should you be so inclined.

SAM: Alright, I’ll

whip it out again.

(laughter)

MATT: Make an intelligence

check if you don’t mind.

Just add your

intelligence.

-SAM: Oh, not good.

-TALIESIN: Wow.

LAURA: You’re gonna put

it in your butt.

(laughter)

-SAM: Six!

-MATT: Six!

TRAVIS: Six total?

MATT: Okay.

This looks exactly like

the kind of substance

you should be

snorting for use.

So, you– you take a bit

of the Suude, and this–

this particular Suude,

taking a closer look at it,

the grains of it,

and it’s like–

almost like a–

like a brown sugar

type texture to it.

It is a dark

brown color to it.

It looks like a

crystallized dirt almost

and you kind of like take–

take a second, look around.

(sniffs)

It burns!

It burns.

Oh, man,

does it burn!

It burns a lot,

and you’re like…

(groaning)

SAM: No effect?

MATT: It burns,

that’s an effect.

SAM: Okay.

I take out

the flute.

I pack some in

the front of it.

(laughter)

MATT: This is how you

treat relics

that were gifted to you by the

leader of a foreign nation

by turning the expended energy

into a makeshift pipe.

SAM: I’m taking another third

and I’m packing it in

the front of the flute.

TRAVIS: Oh, please let it be–

(talking over each other)

Free basing, so!

(talking over each other)

SAM: I will dip a torch into

a bit of lava to light it.

(laughter)

And I am going

to bong rip

from this ancient

brass flute.

(laughter)

MATT: Alrighty.

I need you to make a

constitution saving throw.

LAURA: What are you doing?!

-SAM: Constitution saving–

-MATT: Constitution saving.

-LAURA: Constitution saving throw!

-MATT: Constitution saving throw.

SAM: Not good.

(laughter)

-Eight.

-MATT: Eight.

Roll 1d4.

SAM: Here we go,

here we go.

Three.

MATT: As you inhale deeply,

as opposed to the

burning sensation

from when you decided

to snort the granules,

the smoke and

mist that emerges

as it fills your

lungs, actually has a–

a very fine herbal taste

to it almost and it is warm,

and there’s a head rush

immediately that hits you.

You feel for a moment your

vision kind of crystallize

and clarify

all of a sudden.

All the colors become

briefly brighter

and you feel this

slight pulse of–

of energy whenever

you cast a spell,

like the fingers

kind of warm at the tips

and you

feel the immediate need

to just practice something.

Right before your vision

gets blurry, and dark.

As–

Yeah, that’s it,

the rest of you guys–

The rest of you guys come

walking down the tunnel,

being careful,

you know,

weapons out,

but talking,

kind of getting up to speed

with what’s transpired.

You look in the distance and

you can see within the lair

and you’re seeing

this, it’s a down–

A decline into this

large heavy tunnel

that is just made

of volcanic rock

and blackened stone with

occasional cracks of–

of melting rock that

are just spilling through

and these small

orange glowing pockets

into this large central

underground cavern

that has an entire

pool of molten rock

that is kind of spiraling

through portions of the floor.

There is a large

brass dragon

just casually strolling

around the opposite side.

Huge, gargantuan in

size, strolling around

and a few other

humanoid individuals,

and you guys watch as

a singular male gnome ally

is face down on

the ground not moving.

TRAVIS: Oh, there was

no one even in here!

LAURA: Can I run up to him?

-MATT: Yeah.

-LAURA: Scanlan?

Smack him a couple times,

does he wake up?

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: Can I roll him over?

PATRICK: Probably get over

there pretty quick too.

It’s not that I don’t

think that these guys

can take of their

own wounded, but–

-MATT: Yeah.

-PATRICK: Yeah.

MATT: So, you rush up and

have both of you

make a medicine

check right now.

LAURA: Oh my God.

SAM: This is everything.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Great time for

a personal crisis.

Great timing!

LIAM: ♪ I’ll do anything

for Suude ♪♪

-LAURA: Only eight.

-TALIESIN: That’s the end of his turn.

MARISHA: Yes, that was his turn.

-Yeah.

-TALIESIN: Fair.

LAURA: But I’ve got a Cure Wounds

potion I can–

a Cure Wounds

spell I can use.

MATT: But what’d you roll

your medicine check?

-LAURA: Eight.

-MATT: Eight.

PATRICK: Not great, like,

is he gushing blood?

MATT: No, there is no blood

from his wounds.

PATRICK: (sniffing)

Do I know what

that smell is?

MATT: What’d you roll for

your medicine check?

PATRICK: Not worth speaking of.

Like 6.

MATT: Okay, okay.

So you’re not sure

exactly what happened.

You do smell this

strange kind of herbal,

almost like an

incense scent

that is centered

around his area

and he is breathing.

But he is not conscious.

-LIAM: Pike!

-PATRICK: Can I check for poison?

LAURA: Can I do a nature check to

see if I recognize the scent?

MATT: Sure, make a nature check.

LAURA: I’m gonna cast Cure Wounds

on him, just to try it.

LIAM: And I’m just shouting

out Pike’s name.

MARISHA: Ooh, I rolled

a natural 19.

-MATT: Okay.

-MARISHA: So that’s 29– no 30 total.

MATT: Okay, best that you can make,

strangely enough, there’s–

the scent is

medicinal almost,

but it’s also synthetic

in a way that’s not natural.

This– whatever

this smell is,

it’s not a natural incense.

SAM: PCP.

It was laced.

TRAVIS: Anyone check to see if

the pipe’s still packed?

MARISHA: Yeah, are there any

signs around Scanlan as–

MATT: Well, yeah, there is–

There is

the tarnished brass flute

that was gifted

to him by the leader

of the foreign city

of Ank'Harel

that is currently tarnished

by the use of its magic

and it is jammed pack with a

black ashy crystalline substance

with a trail of smoke

that is kind of lazily

drizzling off the tip.

TRAVIS: What did J'Mon do to him?

(laughter)

LAURA: Well, regardless of what’s going

on, you healed 13 points.

SAM: Oh, that’s nice.

MARISHA: Okay, I pick up the pipe,

since I recognize what–

that’s where the

scent is coming from.

Can I like, do an investigation

check or something?

LAURA: Can I smack him across

the face as hard as I can?

-MATT: You can.

-LAURA: Even though I just healed him.

MARISHA: If I can put together

what’s going on.

PATRICK: This obviously– if

he’s not gushing blood.

Some sort of

poison going on.

MATT: Okay, so– so–

SAM: Am I having any sort

of dream, Matt?

MATT: No, darkness.

TRAVIS: Darkness.

MATT: You utilize Detect Poison

and you don’t–

you don’t sense anything

that is clarified toxin

to the point where it would

register as a poison,

so at least,

you’re calm–

you’re calmed

to know that

there isn’t something coursing

through his system right now

that is in danger

of killing him.

-PATRICK: Okay.

-MARISHA: Fifteen.

-MATT: Fifteen on investigation?

-MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, he smoked

something out of this.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Guys.

I feel like this was

a classic Scanlan.

In terms of choices, I don’t

think anyone did this.

LAURA: I don’t understand.

MARISHA: I’m gonna start kind

of, like, like kinda,

can I start seeing if I can find

whatever he put in this pipe?

MATT: Make an investigation check

as you start rummaging

through his stuff.

MARISHA: Eleven.

MATT: Alright, you’re pulling

through pockets.

He has a lot more pockets

than you’d expect.

LAURA: Can I do investigation check?

Cause I’m good at hiding

things on my person.

MARISHA: Hey, Vex–

Vex, look.

I– I think he

did something.

I think he–

he tried something.

Look and see if you

can find what might be–

what he might have

put in this pipe.

MATT: So they’re starting to go

the rest of his pockets.

Make an investigation check.

What’d you get here, Vex?

LAURA: Goddammit, I’m

rolling like shit!

Ten.

MATT: Okay, you both

start pulling

through the pockets

before Scanlan–

SAM: I have a porn book

that they might find.

MATT: And you do, you find a fantastic

small pocket sized tome

that manages to contain

a lot of very, very detailed

pieces of artwork about

male and female anatomy.

TRAVIS: I’ll take that.

MARISHA: I take the pipe.

Sorry, the flute.

MATT: You also, you watch

as Scanlan begins to shift

and his eyes begin to

flutter open and you–

you come back to consciousness

with a mild headache

with all of your

friends gathered around

and Keyleth and Vax with

their hands in your pockets.

LAURA: I’m Vex, hi.

-MATT: Vex.

-LAURA: Hi.

SAM: Get your hands

out of my pockets.

LAURA: What the fuck

did you do?

SAM: Wait, first.

Are you real?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: Is this a hallucination?

-TRAVIS: Yep.

-TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: Scanlan, why

would you be asking

if this is a

hallucination?

Just curious.

SAM: We’ve had a

very rough day.

How do I feel, Matt?

MATT: I mean, you feel

like there was–

there was something

to the rush,

but your body

rejected it.

SAM: Rejected it.

-Hmm, interesting.

-MARISHA: Huh.

TRAVIS: Are you tired?

You were asleep

when we found you.

LAURA: Face down.

SAM: I was shaken

by today’s events

and there was a lair action

that knocked me unconscious.

-TRAVIS: Holy shit.

-LAURA: What’s a lair action?

SAM: I mean, there was

a trap set by Thordak

previously to his death that

knocked me unconscious?

LAURA: What’s in this flute,

you piece of shit?

What’s in the flute?

SAM: Herbs, give it to me!

MARISHA: No, no, no.

LAURA: No, you’re too short,

you can’t even reach.

MARISHA: I’m too–

TALIESIN: Angry T-Rex.

MARISHA: Can I do an

insight check on him?

MATT: Sure.

Scanlan, make a

deception check.

SAM: Thirty-two.

(laughter)

MATT: What’d you get,

Keyleth?

MARISHA: Twenty-two.

MATT: Legitimately, like, aw,

I guess a misunderstanding.

SAM: I’m shaken,

guys, I’m sorry.

I’m– I’m not myself.

TRAVIS: Was it like poison gas

or like lava or did a

rock fall on your head?

SAM: I appreciate your concern

but what the fuck, Vax?

Why did you just charge

in after Raishan like that?

See how I did that?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: This is the

best thing ever.

SAM: Next time, will

you please tell us?

LAURA: There wasn’t a lot

of time there, Scanlan.

LIAM: She was casting.

She was reaching

for whatever it is

she’s been angling

for for months.

SAM: Well, you almost got me

fucking killed, alright?

TRAVIS: Actually, you–

you did get killed.

LAURA: You died, so did I.

SAM: That’s even worse

than almost being killed.

LIAM: I reach out and I do

this thing to his eye.

Like that (indistinguishable).

What did you think we

were coming here to do?

We’re here to– the

fucking world is on fire.

SAM: Yeah, but we’re

your backup.

You don’t go in

without your backup.

You’ve done this so

many times at this point.

You’ve got to wait

for your backup to go.

-LIAM: I do–

-SAM: Listen!

I will do anything

that you want me to do.

I will kill Kerr right–

hi, Kerr, by the way.

I will kill him dead right

now if you want me to.

That’s how much

you are my brother.

You need to trust us and

tell us what you’re doing.

Kerr, no offense.

PATRICK: None taken.

LIAM: I hear what

you’re saying.

She was reaching

for whatever power

she has been

working towards

and I wasn’t going

to freely let her take it,

and you weren’t there.

Fate didn’t place you there,

and when we ran in that cave,

you were ten seconds behind me.

SAM: I have little legs.

LIAM: Listen.

-We failed.

-SAM: I know.

LIAM: Hard.

It doesn’t mean it

was wrong to try.

SAM: That’s true.

Man, we really

did fail though.

LIAM: If not now, when?

If not us, who?

♪

LAURA: Well, it’s not

now, so, when?

MARISHA: And it is us, so.

TALIESIN: And I’m not calling

this a failure.

MARISHA: You’re not calling

this a failure?

TALIESIN: I’m not calling

this a failure.

-SAM: Well, it is.

-TALIESIN: We bought time.

-MARISHA: What?

-TALIESIN: What?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we shit

the bed on that.

It was a complete failure.

-LAURA: Truly, here’s the thing.

-TALIESIN: Two dragons!

LAURA: If she had succeeded,

if we hadn’t attacked

her when we did,

and she had

succeeded in

whatever she’s about

to do with Thordak,

you know, we probably

would have had to fight

a much more powerful

Raishan or Thordak again

or whatever the fuck

she’s doing.

LIAM: We don’t know

what it was.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: And I wasn’t

about to stand back

and listen to her

Scooby Doo monologue.

I wanted to put

an end to it.

SAM: What’s Scooby Doo, man?

TRAVIS: Don’t know, folk tale.

LIAM: It’s an island far away

in the next campaign.

SAM: Listen, I get it, I know.

I know why you acted

and I probably

would have done the same

thing had I been closer,

but just next time,

give us some sort

of a heads up, alright?

We have a code word

and everything.

LIAM: HolyshitI'mthrowingthedagger.

LAURA: Jenga, I think it’s jenga.

LIAM: It doesn’t apply

to this situation.

I’m sorry, you

weren’t there.

She was moving.

The only thing I regret

is that she got away.

I’m sorry, Scanlan.

SAM: I’m sorry too.

LIAM: I reach out and I pick

him up by the scruff

and I walk off to

a far end of the cave.

Away from everybody else.

I shove him down

in a corner.

Sit still,

don’t say anything.

Really, don’t

say anything.

This is gonna

take a minute.

And I start to

unbuckle armor.

-LAURA: Oh, no!

-LIAM: Shush!

I start to unbuckle armor,

and it takes awhile as we

learned with that fucking wolf.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: And I reach down

into my bag–

MATT: As you’re in the

middle of unbuckling,

Kima has kind of approached from

the side of the wall and goes,

-like, What–

-LIAM: Sup girl?

MATT: You know what, keep going.

And she kind of just leans

back and crosses her arms

with her sword sheathed

behind her back

and there’s a little part of

her looking at you, Scanlan,

as this is happening

that says, very silently,

Remember that

phantom dick circumstance

that happened back

in the Underdark?

I’m gonna enjoy

watching this.

With her eyes.

Reach, reach, reach and I pull

out a piece of paper, yeah?

I shove it into your chest.

That was for if I died.

If you’re gonna

die, don’t do it

with a fucking flute

up your ass, alright?

And I storm off.

♪

SAM: I have a piece of paper?

♪

Can I read it?

Does it exist?

-MATT: Yeah, yeah.

-SAM: What is it?

♪

TALIESIN: It’s a Critical Role sticker.

-PATRICK: Vinyl sticker.

-TALIESIN: Vinyl sticker.

MATT: Pardon me while I pull

up the actual information

that this has.

TRAVIS: While you’re

pulling that up,

is there anything

shiny in the cave

that I can walk towards?

Cause I’m bored.

LAURA: Oh my God,

if I roll poorly

on a perception check

for loot, I’m gonna be so sad.

MATT: Alright, let me pull up–

TRAVIS: All this like

lava and gold,

there’s got to

be gold, right?

Platinum.

LIAM: Melted together

in big hunks.

TRAVIS: Yeah, like cheese,

if we’re lucky.

What?

You don’t dream of cheese

in your treasure?

LIAM: That’s not what she means

when she says cheddar.

TRAVIS: Oh!

What–

I cannot keep up.

MATT: Was it in text

or an email?

(laughter)

I didn’t have it

at the ready.

LIAM: Fairly short, it says,

You were right.

SAM: To me?

LAURA: About what?

SAM: Alright.

LAURA: I know, but–

SAM: And I just fold it up and

put it one of my pockets

that seem to have

been messed with.

Well, I’ll just sit there

and think for a while.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: As Vax walks back,

I kind of pull

him aside and I say…

You ran in after me.

This is–

Partially on

me as well.

Us, all of us, I guess.

♪

LIAM: We’re not mercenaries.

We didn’t come here

looking for a fight

we knew would

be easy to win.

♪

We do what we have to do.

When we landed on the

shores at Glintshore,

we fought and

we kept going

because it’s what

needed to be done.

♪

MARISHA: Kerr.

I–I tried to

be the hammer

that you said

I needed to be,

and I don’t know–

I don’t know.

PATRICK: Oh, no.

I– I might not be great

at writing letters.

This is not my–

MARISHA: Oh no, that was a

pretty great letter.

PATRICK: You don’t need

to be anything,

and you certainly

don’t need to be anything

other than what you are.

But he has–

he has a good point.

I mean, you–

In situations

like this,

you do what

you have to do.

Everyone does

what they can do

and you can’t do anymore.

MARISHA: I feel like I focus so much

on just my want for revenge

and justice against Raishan

that I made it so personal

that I forgot that

this isn’t about me.

It’s ultimately not

about any of us.

There’s something so much

bigger going on here and…

♪

Maybe my onus

and guilt was,

in some way, selfish.

I don’t–

I don’t know.

♪

PATRICK: Well, congratulations,

you’re a person

like the rest of us.

No, and I mean no offense,

but we all do it.

And if you think

it was wrong,

then you can do it a little

different next time.

(sighs)

MARISHA: I admire your wisdom.

-PATRICK: No, no, no, no.

-MARISHA: I do!

PATRICK: No, don’t.

Don’t do that.

MARISHA: Would you be willing

to lend, at least,

a little bit

of your knowledge

to help us maybe

find Raishan?

PATRICK: If, for what it’s worth.

It seems like you won,

you didn’t win,

you failed, someone was

killed, but they’re lost?

MARISHA: Well, you know,

that was a pretty good

summary actually, yeah.

LIAM: Killed one dragon, picked

a fight with another.

LAURA: Got our asses kicked.

LIAM: Didn’t go as

well as the first,

and the second made

off with the first.

PATRICK: Sounds like you maybe got

sandbagged a little bit?

-TRAVIS: Yeah.

-LAURA: Yeah.

PATRICK: Okay, that’s

always the worst.

LAURA: Yeah.

PATRICK: And you can’t expect

to win that fight.

MARISHA: She knew far more

about us the whole time

than we ever knew about her,

and that’s still the case.

LIAM: Almost did.

-PATRICK: I see that you’re alive.

-MARISHA: Yes.

PATRICK: And if you get caught

unawares by a dragon

who has been gathering

intelligence on you

and you walk away,

that is not nothing.

TALIESIN: She downright ran.

LIAM: She did.

TRAVIS: I thought

she teleported.

TALIESIN: I’ll miss you.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Where am I going?

MATT: As this conversation’s

happening,

in the intensity

of the emotions,

you notice

that Gilmore,

Kima,

and Devo'ssa,

the brass dragon,

are all just kind of

sitting watching.

Devo'ssa has their

hands kind of clasped

in front with their

jaw resting on the edge

and just kind of watching,

and the– the dragon’s voice

kind of billows up forth.

“Ah, the drama of

such short lives.

It’s heartwarming for us

who don’t get the chance

to see it often enough.

It’s lonely in the tower.”

LAURA: You know, you can come down

and join us whenever you like.

MATT: “I appreciate

the offer,

however, the longer

I’m away from my city,

the more in danger

I leave it.

I have many enemies,

as does Ank'Harel,

and I can guarantee you

the moment that I absconded

with your magic to aid you,

that’s the opening

they’ve been waiting for,

so I have to return

to my city and my people,

but I believe our

debt is collected.

Your victory against

Thordak complete

from where

I once left it.

I wish you luck.”

SAM: Would you–

would you like–

You lent me this symbol,

this necklace.

Necklace? Symbol.

Would you

like it back?

MATT: The large brass dragon

face kind of shifts down

right up to you and the

immensity to distance

is already intimidating,

but when the front

of the snarling jaws,

the immensity of

the nostrils flare

right at the presence of

a gnome sized individual…

You’ve grown up fighting the

sensation of feeling small

in comparison to

the world around you.

You feel truly

small this close

to the front of

the dragon’s maw.

The teeth curl into a grin

and the voice

kinda billows out,

like, a slow rolling

landslide into your face

with the warmth

of its breath.

“Nah, keep it.”

MARISHA: J'Mon!

MATT: And just steps

over and starts

making its way

up the hall–

the cavern

towards the district.

MARISHA: Before you leave?

If you were fighting

a green dragon

named the Diseased Deceiver,

who wanted ultimate

power over her domain,

where would you start?

MATT: “In my opinion,

entities that are

this intelligent,

you never want

to wait for them

to fight on

their terms.”

-TRAVIS: Good answer.

-LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: And the slow

rolling impacts

of the dragon’s feet

grow quieter and quieter

before you hear eventually…

The wings lifting

up and you see

as a cloud of

smoke and ash

kind of pulls forth

into the tunnel,

showing the lift off

as you can only ascertain

J'Mon Sa Ord,

leader of Ank'Harel,

the brass dragon begins flight

back towards their home.

LAURA: Oh, shit, did J'Mon

fly here that entire way?

SAM: No, I don’t

I don’t think so.

TRAVIS: Flash.

SAM: Maybe.

LAURA: I was joking,

I was joking.

SAM: As terrible as

this day has been,

there is some gold at

the end of the tunnel.

TRAVIS: Which is probably

rigged to explode.

TALIESIN: I think it’s

probably– well–

SAM: Want to go

check it out?

LAURA: Kind of feel like,

we should, you know–

Heal up a bit.

I’ve been here before.

It didn’t go so well.

PATRICK: Yeah, how knocked

about are they?

I mean, obviously, singes

and abrasions and–

LAURA: Like really, really

knocked to shit.

TRAVIS: Raise your hand if you have

less than 30 hit points.

MARISHA: I’m at 30.

PATRICK: I could probably take

out the whole group.

(laughter)

-TALIESIN: Wow, that would be–

-MATT: Plot twist!

LAURA: Oh my God,

are you Raishan?

LIAM: Rothfuss!

PATRICK: I was sent here

by Acquisitions.

MATT: Assassination mission.

-I love it.

-PATRICK: You sons of bitches.

(laughter)

SAM: You befriended us!

PATRICK: Next time you pay

your protection money.

SAM: Just like us to do this,

we trust everybody!

God, we’re idiots!

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MATT: The last thing you

hear is the laughter

of a one-armed man in

the distance echoing.

LIAM: Clarota, Asum, Rothfuss.

Never ends!

PATRICK: But no, if

people are that–

are that bad,

like, I’ll–

You know.

How are you?

You’re obviously, like,

it’s gonna be, like,

are you like visibly

like knocked about?

-LAURA: I mean she’s–

-MARISHA: I kinda fell in a pit of lava.

LAURA: She’s basically black

cinder right now.

PATRICK: Oh, really?

-Okay.

-LAURA: She face planted into lava.

LIAM: She’s burned,

she’s burned.

PATRICK: I’m like, Do you really want to

go looking for gold right now?

Because you–

♪

Would you like to come

over here and sit down?

I can take a look at–

TRAVIS: As they discuss, can I

just walk over to a pile of–

LAURA: Kash, how low are

you on healing?

Can you heal us?

MATT: Kash and Zahra, who

just kind of sitting off

of the edge of the cavern,

kind of taking a breather.

“Um, well, I got a

little bit, I guess.”

Zahra, by the way,

is like healed to full.

TRAVIS: Of course.

MARISHA: Yeah, I just–

Keyleth just

bursts into tears.

She just start–

I’m so tired!

I’m so tired.

PATRICK: I’ll kinda just kinda

usher her off a little bit

wherever, like, is a little less

in the middle of everything.

And I’ve got

my little pack

and we can lay

it on the blanket.

And she needs to get

some of these charred,

smoldering clothes off of her.

And so I can

look at these burns

and start, um, you know…

LAURA: I nudge Vax.

I think that guy’s puttin’

moves on your woman.

-Okay.

-TRAVIS: Super worried.

MARISHA: I do the same to Kerr,

I just…my eyes.

MATT: Kash kind of walks up and

slaps you on your shoulder,

Vex, and kind of a jolt

and you heal 14 points.

Cure wounds a little too,

but as a bit of a

jolt through your body.

LAURA: It’s good, it’s good.

-Thank you.

-MATT: “You’re welcome.”

He turns back around and

walks back to Zahra.

PATRICK: And I just kind of

do the slow talk.

You know, we’re kind of like,

it’s like, oh,

this isn’t as bad

as it looks

at first, you know.

And, ‘cause this

was the old thing

that I did in town for years.

Somebody would come to

me hurt and I’d be like,

oh, it’s like–nobody

knew who I was in town

for 20 years.

So I do the gentlest, least

obtrusive laying on of hands.

You know, where it’s like,

oh, you know,

this probably stung

like the dickens,

but, you know–

Look at this,

look at this,

it’s just rubbing,

this is just–

TRAVIS: Oh, you skinned your knees,

let me blow on that.

(cross talk)

LAURA: And I’m hugging you.

MARISHA: Why am I so cold?

LAURA: I heal Vax 12 points

while I’m hugging him.

SAM: I take a little potion.

TALIESIN: Try and clear

my guns in the hopes

that they’re

actually gonna work.

So proficiency?

PATRICK: Uh, so down, like you can soak

up another 30, I’m assuming?

MARISHA: Yeah, I have 118 max, so.

PATRICK: Then, yeah,

soak up a full 35.

TALIESIN: Whoa, there you go.

Are we calling

this a short rest?

Is that what’s

happening right now?

Are we having, like, some sort

of spontaneous short rest?

MATT: If you would like

to take a short rest–

TALIESIN: Oh, my God.

LIAM: I got 16 hit dice, man.

MARISHA: Yeah, I’m gonna burn

a few hit dice as well.

TRAVIS: So there is a full blown war

happening up on–

SAM: Oh, shit, that’s true.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you know,

we just fought two dragons,

they can handle this.

MATT: Okay, so you’re all

taking a short rest before

or your going to

the gold and not taking–

-TRAVIS: Gold.

-MATT: Okay.

So as you all take a moment–

TRAVIS: There’s a lot

of talking happening,

I just wandered off.

MATT: So as you guys begin

to take the rests,

tend to your wounds,

take a breather,

and begin to mentally

prepare yourself

for whatever the next stage

of your journey is.

Grog, you step out

into the cavern,

now without the

red in your eyes

that normally calls to

combat where your focus is on

what you can hurt and

kill as soon as possible.

Now it’s what can loot and

keep as soon as possible.

And make an

investigation check.

TRAVIS: Okay, gonna be high.

Oh, 17 plus, minus 2.

-Fifteen.

-MATT: Fifteen.

Uh, doesn’t matter too much

as you walk in and begin

taking in the surroundings,

you can see there

are edges of the cavern

that are just crammed

with gold and platinum

and art fixtures and vases,

and golden, brass, and silver

keepsakes and knick-knacks

and decorations.

You can see chains

and candelabras

You can see all sorts–

it looks like

and you kind of–

some of you gleaned this

as you went in here.

This is more wealth

than you’ve ever seen

in your entire life.

This…this is probably

a majority of the wealth

of Emon that has been slowly

brought to Thordak

and forced into his lair

as part of the tyranny

that he took over the city.

So, all the money

here has been amassed

from the guilds,

from the villagers,

from the townsfolk,

from the temples,

from the shops,

from the Cloudtop.

This is the economy of Emon

crammed into, at least

a majority of it,

into a singular cavern.

TRAVIS: I feel overwhelmed by

the sheer amount of stuff.

Are there any, like,

unique looking knick-knacks

or really lovely or

dangerous looking weapons

that grab my eye?

Because it’s just

a lot of shit.

MATT: Well, as based on your

investigation check,

which is a 15, um, you do

find a couple of fun things.

You find a…

TRAVIS: I love it when he

reaches for stuff.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: You find a somewhat familiar

looking metallic rod

about that long, cylindrical.

Looks to have a couple of small,

almost ring divots on it.

You’re pretty

sure you have one of these.

LAURA: Immovable rod.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: Immovable rod.

-TRAVIS: Yeah.

-SAM: Who has ours?

-LAURA: I think I have it.

-MATT: You’ve seen it?

SAM: Why don’t we use that more?

TRAVIS: Oh, no, no, it’s

not the same thing.

LAURA: Ooh.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah,

you’d be like climbing.

TRAVIS: This is different,

this is a movable rod.

SAM: Oh, it’s a movable one,

not an immovable one?

PATRICK: Just, which means

it’s just a rod.

MATT: It’s just a rod, basically.

TALIESIN: It’s a shake weight,

it’s a shake weight,

(laughing)

It can’t stop moving.

LIAM: You sullied

Dungeons and Dragons.

TALIESIN: I would hope so.

MATT: Mind you, that fighter’s

forearms look amazing.

So you pick that up

and you start glancing through

and you’re just kind

of pushing through

some of the art objects–

a large painting that

just breaks in half.

TRAVIS: If there’s a vase I

would totally smash that.

MATT: You smash a

few vases, actually.

TALIESIN: Ironically, there are

two gold coins inside.

(laughing)

MATT: Um, you also do

see to the side

a…what looks to be a

wooden box about that big

that is latched shut.

It has beautiful

engraving all across it.

And what looks to

be almost like gold leaf

with little gems

of blue and red

kind of toward the corners.

It’s a really beautiful artisan

wooden box about that big.

And then there is a large, looks

like a beautiful tapestry

that is rolled up and bound.

TRAVIS: Okay, that’s boring.

The box, like does it look

like it’s simple to open?

MATT: Uh, you pick

it up and look at it.

It has a little latch on it.

-TRAVIS: What would–

-MATT: Make an intelligence check.

TRAVIS: What would that guy that’s

always sneaking around do?

Intelligence check

two minus–yeah two, okay.

-So, zero.

-MATT: Zero.

You shake it, there’s something

inside it, rattles around.

It’s got a little heft to it.

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

MATT: You look at it, try

and pry open the side.

Nothing.

TRAVIS: Even with the

titanstone knuckles,

it doesn’t open?

MATT: You want to

use your strength?

Go and roll

a strength check.

-TRAVIS: Yeah.

-MATT: Force it open.

LIAM: You’re going to break

a wonderful item.

TRAVIS: Dammit.

Eleven.

MATT: Eleven, okay.

TRAVIS: That was a low roll.

MATT: Uh, you crssshh and the wooden

case just breaks in half.

And as it does,

you see what looks to be

a small leather sleeve,

similar shape kind

of pfff and land.

-TRAVIS: I’ll go get it.

-MATT: Pick it up.

And it’s a leather pouch,

it has a little top,

it’s buttoned shut.

And it looks like there’s

something inside,

almost like cards.

MARISHA: No, no.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, open the sleeve,

the leather sleeve.

PATRICK: No.

MATT: What are you gonna pull out?

MARISHA: You wish.

MATT: You open it

and you can see inside

what looks to

be about 13 cards,

tarot looking cards.

-TRAVIS: Little cards.

-MATT: Cards, yeah.

TRAVIS: Do they smell

like anything?

MATT: Uh, they smell

clean and fresh.

TRAVIS: How far away is the lava?

MATT: Um, maybe from where you are

right now in this portion,

I’d say 25 feet.

-TRAVIS: Who the hell uses–

-LAURA: No, Travis!

(laughing)

-TRAVIS: What?

-LAURA: What are you even doing?

TRAVIS: I’m going through the loot,

you all are fucking

healing and shit,

I’m trying to find

something useful here.

TALIESIN: Did you find

anything useful?

LIAM: Laura Bailey manifested.

(laughing)

Oh, harp please, poof!

MATT: As you guys have

been resting, to be fair,

as you’re all sitting there

in the tunnel kind of talking,

you hear in the distance

an occasional like

ting, ting, ting, clunk.

You look in the distance

and you see Grog

just like rummaging through

the loot and throwing shit.

-TRAVIS: Pretty much.

-LAURA: What are you doing?

TRAVIS: What, I’m trying

to find something.

There’s a giant rolled

up carpet over here.

LAURA: A carpet?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean some people call

it a telafaphy or whatever.

LAURA: I go over to Grog.

What do you

have in your hand?

TRAVIS: Uh, I don’t know, it looks

like a bunch of cards.

LAURA: Can I see them?

TRAVIS: No, they’re mine,

I found them.

You have all of this stuff

to choose from, have at it.

LAURA: What’s that tapestry

he’s talking about?

MATT: Uh, the tapestry

that’s bound up?

-LAURA: Yeah.

-MATT: Go and make

an investigation check.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna start

wandering into this mess.

This is exciting.

LAURA: Twenty four.

MATT: Okay, as you quickly go over,

you find–there are a

number of what look to be

types of decoration,

wall tapestries.

And there one

that Grog caught

that it’s a very,

very fine material,

it looks like it’s

probably expensive.

Made of a very deep

dyed navy blue silk

with looks to be a very, very

light tan pattern across it.

As you unravel it, it’s

roughly six foot by nine foot.

Um, it rolls out

in front of you.

LAURA: Do you fly, fly?

Try to fly right now.

Go up in the air.

(spit)

-TRAVIS: No.

-PATRICK: Did you just spit on it?

LAURA: Well, that’s my code word

for my flying broom.

MATT: Chuck on it, you’ll fly.

Which sounds like chat-oo!

MARISHA: Naturally.

MATT: What do you want to do,

do you want to spend

some time with the tapestry?

LAURA: No, I’m gonna roll it up

and save it for later

and look around

for other cool stuff.

MATT: Okay, so you grab

the tapestry and roll it up

and toss it to the side.

TRAVIS: There’s really

no way around this,

I’ve got to pull a card

out of the

leather sleeve, right?

LIAM: Are you gonna take

this fucking tapestry

or you’re gonna

look around the room?

MATT: All right, so you

pull one card out?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll pull one card out,

but I want to pull

the one in the middle

because I remember

magicians be like,

choose a card, any card.

LIAM: Travis, you could

destroy the world.

TALIESIN: I’m so excited.

TRAVIS: I mean, on any day, but you’re

lucky I’m really in control.

LAURA: I don’t know what can

come out of that thing,

but like, really

bad things can come out.

TRAVIS: What is that, I don’t

even know what that is.

MATT: Ryan, do we have a

deck of cards anywhere?

MARISHA: Jesus Christ.

TRAVIS: What is this?

PATRICK: I probably…

MATT: Just regular playing cards.

(Ryan) I’m going to look for some.

TRAVIS: Is it fair to say that everyone

knows what this is but me?

SAM: I don’t know what it is.

TRAVIS: Sam doesn’t know.

LAURA: I’ve heard that–oh, God,

there’s cards right there.

They had ‘em right there!

MATT: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Scanlan doesn’t

know what this is.

Do you know what this is?

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Laura, do you know?

LAURA: I know it’s really–

it can be really bad.

TRAVIS: Patrick, do you

know what this is?

LAURA: Didn’t they pull this out

during one of the charity games?

LIAM: Amazing and great or it

could be totally destructive.

TRAVIS: I’m feeling amazing

and great right now.

LAURA: Oh, God, oh, God.

LIAM: Aren’t you glad you’re here?

PATRICK: I’m so–there’s nothing

I’d rather be here for.

TRAVIS: Oh really, just straight up?

MATT: All righty, so.

TRAVIS: That’s unfortunate.

(cross talk)

LIAM: I’m sweating harder than the

dragon fight right now.

(cross talk)

MATT: Be patient here

for a second, folks,

as I have to pull out the

proper deck here so I know–

(cross talk)

As Travis now currently

pulling a card out of

some sort of enchanted deck.

TRAVIS: It’s called

an enchanted deck?

LIAM: If he wins, he can win big.

TRAVIS: Is there a name for it,

whatever this is?

-PATRICK: Oh, yes.

-TRAVIS: What’s the name?

TALIESIN: Idiocy.

LIAM: Yes.

LIAM: We’ll tell you later.

(cross talk)

‘Cause we’re all

out of character.

TRAVIS: I genuinely

am only doing this

because I don’t know

what the hell it is.

PATRICK: Which is perfect,

it’s perfect, perfect.

This could not be better.

Although honestly, they’re

like–and into the lava

would also be perfect, yeah.

MARISHA: That would be perfect, yeah.

TRAVIS: Would that have activated

all of them and then…?

LAURA: I don’t know.

MARISHA: You can’t really destroy

magical items though, right?

TALIESIN: No, they would have just

put them into the rock.

TRAVIS: Oh, they’re magical…

MATT: In my rush to

get everything ready,

-I did not…

-SAM: How dare you.

LAURA: How dare you not prepare?

MATT: Well, there was that too,

but you know.

I learn lessons

the hard way sometimes.

LAURA: If Travis gets

a hold of it…

LIAM: Not ready for eSports, Matt.

(laughing)

MATT: I hate you so much.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Not ready for…

-MATT: Okay.

-TALIESIN: So excited.

LAURA: Oh, God, I’m terrified.

I don’t know what all the

things are that they can do.

TALIESIN: I don’t think I would

have the guts to do it.

I think–'cause I would know,

I would not have the guts.

TRAVIS: 'Cause you know what it is.

Well, there’s like 13 cards,

how bad can it be?

What’s the percentage

of bad cards to good cards?

LIAM: It’s mostly bad.

TRAVIS: It’s mostly bad?

LAURA: Do you know, you know,

you know all the cards.

LIAM: But the goods are amazing.

MATT: Shuffle these

here for a minute.

LAURA: Oh, God, oh, God!

Oh, my God, what if

we’re all about to die?

'Cause it could

be world ending, right?

It could just…

MARISHA: I’m with Kerr

in the hall, right?

MATT: You guys are all just resting.

And Vax is asleep.

SAM: I’m checking to see if

there’s any more in the flute

that didn’t get burned.

-MATT: Uh…

-LIAM: Now is the time.

TALIESIN: Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

MATT: Literally.

As you check the flute,

what you put in the flute

has been expended, yes.

All right, so I want you

to just pull one of these–

I’ll turn them around, shuffle.

TRAVIS: How many pulls do I get?

MATT: You said you were

just pulling one card,

so you pull one card.

TALIESIN: Only Travis,

Travis is the only one.

MATT: What’s it say?

MARISHA: You have this

conviction to your voice

that’s just–I believe you.

PATRICK: I’m very calming.

MATT: All right, good to know.

SAM: Good to know.

Oh, good to know,

you all die.

LAURA: It’s a giant…

TALIESIN: No, don’t look at the screen,

don’t look at the screen.

That’s not gonna

make anyone feel better.

(cross talk)

MARISHA: 50 gold, 50–

50,000 gold.

LIAM: No whammies, no whammies.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: He’s turning more pages, why?

Why more pages?

PATRICK: I’m actually sweating.

SAM: You should only

be on one page.

Why would he need to be

on multiple pages?

(cross talk)

TALIESIN: It’s a centerfold.

LIAM: It’s the most powerful

thing in the book.

MATT: Okay, hold on, I have

to go back for a–

SAM: Why are there

more pages, Matt?

MATT: You’ll find out,

you’ll find out.

TRAVIS: Why would you give me that?!

(laughing)

MARISHA: I was asking

the same question.

TRAVIS: You give me

like chastity belts or–

MATT: Look, man, the last

thing I expected was Grog

to be the first to loot

for magical items.

And roll a decent

investigation check.

And yet, here you are,

discovering this deck.

All right, so…

With this…

You pull the card out and it

looks like this beautiful

tarot like design of what

looks like a metallic key

that is currently

held aloft in space

behind what looks

like almost like the stars

converging into some sort of

a pattern in the night sky.

TRAVIS: That’s good, stars are nice.

MATT: At this point–

TRAVIS: Orion wouldn’t fuck us.

LIAM: Nope.

PATRICK: That’s not a

sword on his belt.

MATT: As you pull the card

and look at it,

the card bursts into flames,

and you feel this slight

tingling in the hand

that held the card.

Suddenly, you watch as

there’s a flash of light

within your grasp with

what looks to be extending

from where the card once was.

You immediately feel

something steel in your hand

and as you clutch your fingers

instinctually around it,

and try to crush

whatever it is,

you look and watch as this

beautiful looking scimitar

like blade is now

in your grasp.

TRAVIS: Oooh!

Whoa.

MATT: It’s beautifully made,

an ornate hilt and hand guard.

And it has like a chain dangling

from the bottom of the pommel

that has, looks like

a small blue gem.

It’s a beautiful

looking piece of weaponry.

And as you whip

it back and forth,

it’s perfectly balanced.

TRAVIS: Does it make any noise

when I swing it?

LAURA: A card turned into a sword?

SAM: We should pull the other cards

to see what swords they’ll make.

PATRICK: You can do that 12 more times!

TRAVIS: I’m apparently the

most powerful sorcerer

that has ever lived.

SAM: This is a deck

of weapon cards.

LAURA: I mean seriously, though.

TRAVIS: I have to hit

something with it.

LAURA: Well, go hit

something with it.

TRAVIS: Is there like a tall

statue around or anything?

MATT: I mean, you can see

there are a few marble busts

and things that have been

collected from the more–

TRAVIS: A marble bust is good,

that’s perfect.

TALIESIN: Please don’t

decimate the antiquities.

TRAVIS: Can I pick it up?

Lob it–

LAURA: Grog, also don’t forget

this is property of Emon.

TRAVIS: It just broke because

you distracted me.

(laughing)

I’ve got to go

find another bust.

Is there another?

MATT: There are a few, yeah.

TRAVIS: Thank God there’s another.

MATT: You need to recognize,

some of these used to exist

in the Alabaster Lyceum.

These are actually busts

of old heralded teachers

within the arcane halls

of the lyceum.

-TRAVIS: They wrote on stuff, right?

-MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay, then nobody cares

what they looked like, cool.

Take it and lob it

in the air, big swing.

-MATT: Make an attack roll.

-TRAVIS: Okay.

Can I make this

a reckless attack?

MATT: You can.

TALIESIN: Is it a strength

or dex weapon?

MATT: It’s a strength weapon.

TALIESIN: Ah.

TRAVIS: Twenty seven.

MATT: Twenty seven.

Um, roll damage.

It is considered a scimitar.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: A scimitar.

MATT: It’s a d8, I believe.

MARISHA: It’s considered a scimitar.

TALIESIN: But really.

PATRICK: It looks exactly

like a scimitar.

TALIESIN: It’s a meal.

(cross talk)

TRAVIS: I’m kind of doing it

off of the blood axe, so like 16?

No necrotic no–

MATT: No, no magical bonus on it.

-TRAVIS: Just 16.

-MATT: 16, okay.

And with your gauntlets

you have siege,

which means you

do double damage

against objects and structures.

So as you take the sword back

you strike the

edge of this bust

and watch it just

turn to gravel and dust.

Pshhh, it just shatters

and explodes out the side

with one singular swing

and you watch as

the small chunks of rock

that still somewhat

resemble any sort of, you know,

sculptured structure go

scattering across the black,

you know, lava and magma

encrusted darkened floor

of the cavern.

Blade is untouched.

TRAVIS: It is really

well balanced, that is,

and I just hold

it up to my ear.

(laughing)

MATT: A moment passes.

A second moment passes.

-TRAVIS: We’re good.

-LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We’re totally good.

SAM: It’s a cool weapon.

TRAVIS: It is, yeah.

And I stealthily try

and pocket the other cards.

LAURA: What are you doing?

TRAVIS: But I haven’t showered in

a few days and my bum itches.

MATT: Make a slight of

hand check, Grog.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Shit, that’s a natural 1!

(laughing)

God damn it!

MATT: You watch as Grog so

discreetly takes the cards

and just kind of throws them.

(laughing)

Somehow throws

them closer to you

and in between

him and you guys,

trying to hide them

and just go thdummp.

LAURA: I pick them up.

SAM: Does anyone know

what these are?

LAURA: Grog just made a sword

out of one of these cards.

Do we know what this is?

TRAVIS: They only activate

under my magical touch.

SAM: I’m gonna look at it

and just see if I happen

to know anything about it.

MATT: Roll an arcana check.

SAM: I don’t know

anything about it.

I rolled a 12, do I

know anything about it?

MATT: Mmm, they’re

apparently magical.

TALIESIN: Twenty three.

MATT: Twenty three.

You, being a studious child

and reading many things,

you’ve heard rumors,

you have heard myths,

you have heard

legends of glory and woe

based around an

artifact referred to

as the Deck of Many Things.

LAURA: I start to open it up and–

TALIESIN: No, no, no, no.

No, oh, he looks–

LAURA: I think these made weapons.

TALIESIN: They can make

a lot of things.

SAM: Can they make bad things?

TALIESIN: They can make a

lot of bad things.

SAM: And do you know

what activates them,

just looking at a card?

TALIESIN: If I recall,

it doesn’t take much.

LAURA: I just shut the little

case and stuff it in my…

SAM: Let’s keep it.

TALIESIN: I was going to say

let’s put it somewhere

where no one will

ever find it,

but that will

be fine for now.

TRAVIS: May, may I–I actually,

I found that.

LAURA: Oh, Grog, that’s sweet.

TRAVIS: But I don’t, I want to

hold on to it, it’s mine.

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: You can keep

all the other gold.

LAURA: Yeah, no, I don’t

trust you with it.

TRAVIS: Why not?

LAURA: Because you do stupid things.

TRAVIS: Look what I made.

LAURA: You made a beautiful sword

and I’m proud of you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m sure it’s like

reactive its user–

LAURA: Maybe there’s another set

in here, we should find it!

TRAVIS: And then you can have it.

LAURA: No, if we find another set,

you can have it.

LIAM: That’s a bad deal, too.

TRAVIS: I go to look for

another Deck of Many Things

and nothing else.

(laughing)

MATT: For all the gold

that is in this cavern,

none of it has any

luster or shine to you

as your singularly focused

on finding another one

of these deck of cards.

You are throwing handfuls of

platinum over your shoulder.

TRAVIS: Garbage.

Rubbish, filth.

(laughing)

Life has no luster

to it anymore.

You wretched…

MATT: All right, so continuing off of

your investigation check–

-LIAM: What a heart attack.

-TALIESIN: Wow.

MATT: So you do have the

Deck of Many Things

which now has

12 cards in it.

LAURA: Oh, my God.

TALIESIN: Ah!

MATT: I’m gonna hand that to Laura.

SAM: Next time I go back to casino,

I’m taking that with me.

MATT: You do–you

have that tapestry.

You have–you find what

looks to be a pair of very fine

crafted dark

green leather boots

that have almost a silver

or platinum scrolling

along the edges

of the leather,

almost like

leaves and branches

that tangle in towards

the front of the foot.

LAURA: Do they look Elvish?

MATT: It looks Elvish in design.

And you find

what looks to be

a very, very well

crafted war hammer.

It has–its shape

and its design is–

and only because you’ve seen

this type of handle before–

it appears to be

Dwarven in make.

And it has a

series of runes and glyphs

along the sides of

the war hammer head itself

that seem to

give you the sense

that this is a very expensive,

or at least a very, very

elegantly crafted weapon.

LAURA: Okay.

Sweet.

I can’t, can I see if

they’re magic, I can’t can I?

MATT: I mean, you can take

the rest of your short rest

with one of the objects

to see if you can

ascertain any sort of magic

or information about it.

LAURA: I’m gonna do that

on the tapestry.

MATT: Okay.

-TALIESIN: I’m with you.

-LAURA: Fly, fly for me.

MATT: All right,

the rest of you guys,

is there anything else should

rest, just healing up?

TALIESIN: Healing up,

fixing my guns,

and then sort of

trying to navigate

some of this crazy in here

and then eventually

looking around the cavern

to see if there’s anything.

MATT: Has everyone

spent their hit dice?

What are we at

in point totals here?

SAM: Sixty eight.

TALIESIN: I’ve got 102.

MARISHA: Seventy nine.

MATT: I think you’re still full.

LIAM: Ninety nine.

LAURA: One hundred.

TRAVIS: I didn’t roll any 'cause

I was looking through this

Deck of Many Things!

90.

MATT: Ninety, okay.

At the end

of the short rest,

Vex, you’ve taken the

time with the tapestry,

looking at it.

Its design kind of

hurts your heart a little bit

'cause it reminds you of the

flying carpet that you once had

and you’re like

hoping and praying.

And as it–as you’re

concentrating on it,

and hoping that

something comes to you,

you’re like, “Fly,”

you know, “Go.”

“Traverse, carry.”

You’re just throwing

all these words out.

And as you’re just getting

more and more exhausted,

and the rest of your

party kind of look over

with this, “Oh, give it up,

girl,” kind of look

and shaking their head,

a sudden hit of

inspiration hits your mind

and clarifies–the word “lift.”

You say lift and the tapestry

goes fll fll fll.

LAURA: Shut the fucking–!

You guys!

VAX: (snoring)

TRAVIS: It’s a flying telefaphy.

LAURA: Lift higher.

♪ High up in love ♪♪

SAM: Another flying carpet.

LAURA: Oh, you guys,

this is wonderful.

TALIESIN: I legitimately think this

is the one she tried to replace

the one we stole.

TRAVIS: Wwwaahhhhhhh.

LAURA: Waahhhhhh.

LIAM: It’s Allura’s other carpet.

TALIESIN: It’s her other carpet.

-LAURA: Oh, shit.

-MARISHA: She collects magical carpets.

TALIESIN: Well, she should

only ever needs one,

we just keep taking it.

SAM: Does it say

how much weight it can hold?

TRAVIS: Eight hundred.

LAURA: Eight hundred pounds, it can

carry more than the last one.

SAM: How big is Grog?

MARISHA: Ah, is it a bigger tapestry?

LAURA: It’s six by nine.

TRAVIS: Like three hundred.

LAURA: This is like the

California king version.

MATT: Bigger than the one

you had before, yeah.

MARISHA: It’s a California

king version.

SAM: Grog can get on that

and go hit things.

TRAVIS: Yeah flying speed of 30,

I can run faster than that.

MARISHA: Can you be like a

Silver Surfer thing?

TRAVIS: Blaaaaah, yeah.

MARISHA: Ya!

LAURA: What’s my carrying

capacity on my broom?

MATT: Uh…

LAURA: I should probably know this.

MATT: Your broom can carry, uh,

it can carry 400 pounds

at a flying speed of 30.

LAURA: Well good, so…

MATT: Sorry, it can

carry 400 pounds,

but its flying

speed becomes 30

while carrying

over 200 pounds.

LAURA: Okay.

Oh, this is amazing.

SAM: That’s a good find.

-TALIESIN: That’s a very useful find.

-LAURA: This is some good stuff.

MARISHA: Vex, does it look

like our old carpet?

LAURA: I mean, it looks similar,

it’s a bit bigger.

MARISHA: Does it looks like they were

maybe in the same family?

-LAURA: Definitely, Keyleth.

-MARISHA: Yeah?

LAURA: Hey, look at

these boots,

I throw them down to you.

They look kind of Druidish.

MARISHA: They do look Druidish.

Do they look Druidish?

-MATT: Roll an arcana check.

-MARISHA: Okay.

♪

Five.

MATT: They look pretty.

-MARISHA: These are so pretty!

-LAURA: I know, right?

MARISHA: Oh, my gosh.

LAURA: I think the color looks nice,

it would look good

with your dress.

MARISHA: Okay, I’ll

look at these later.

MATT: They’re nicer than

the boots you have on.

TRAVIS: Ooh, that’s a diss

on your boots, dog.

MARISHA: I, well…

MATT: They don’t necessarily

match the ensemble, per se,

but they’re nice boots.

MARISHA: The soles are

a little melted now.

LAURA: I mean basically Keyleth

would be naked this whole time

'cause all of her clothes would

have burned off in the lava.

MATT: This is the magical

world of fantasy

in which characters don’t

suddenly lose all their clothing

or facial hair or body hair

because of magical spells.

LAURA: All right, sure, whatever.

MARISHA: Sounds like that Japanese RPG.

(cross talk)

MATT: I’m sure there

are RPGs out there

that let you do that.

I’m sure Lamentations

of the Flame Princess

lets you do that.

I think there’s

actually some exalted

expansions that let you do that.

Not this game.

The fan artists take

care of that for us.

TALIESIN: And with that, yeah, I’d love

to take a look around the room,

see if anything

captures my eye.

MARISHA: I think also,

I think Keyleth’s hair

would probably

be shorter now again,

thanks to the fire, again.

MATT: Yeah, sure.

LAURA: Ooh, can I fly

up on the carpet

and see if anything

catches my eye from above?

MATT: Sure, you can

jump up on the carpet

and get an aerial view.

And as you get up towards the

top if the cavern, look over.

LAURA: Not that I couldn’t have

done that on my broom,

but I feel a little safer

'cause there’s

stuff all around me.

MATT: Yeah, it’s a nice big

square patch just for you.

LAURA: I’m gonna lay down and…

LIAM: Is there room for

your broom on your carpet?

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna run on up there

and get a vantage point 'cause

I still have some spider walk–

MATT: You do, yeah.

LAURA: Hop on over, Perc.

MATT: So you watch as Percy

kind of walks upside down

from on the cavern

and kind of gets

a similar perspective as you.

Make an

investigation check.

-SAM: Not great.

-MARISHA: That’s real bad.

-TALIESIN: I can’t pretend,

-I can’t pretend that that’s–

-SAM: Real, real bad.

MARISHA: That’s pretty bad.

TALIESIN: Why am I even bothering?

Six.

MATT: Yeah. In all the

time you spent here,

most anything that catches

your eye beyond just value,

you’ve managed to scavenge

and glean from the horde.

Everything else seems

to be just collections

of expensive or

valuable knick-knacks,

collectibles, museum pieces.

You know, silverware,

furniture, art pieces.

Gem collections, and

then gold, silver, platinum.

It’s…you knowing

good amounts of money,

you can’t even

fathom the scope of this.

Like this is…

TRAVIS: Vex, you’re drooling.

MATT: Like millions of gold pieces.

LAURA: That’s a lot.

TRAVIS: I feel like this

is too much for anyone–

LAURA: No, no, no, it is.

We need to return this

to the people of Emon,

I mean, that’s who

this money came from.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but how do we do that?

-LAURA: Yeah?

-MARISHA: Do you see anything

from Greyskull in there?

LAURA: Oh, do I see

anything from our keep?

MATT: Nothing that stands out

or you would recognize.

LAURA: Not that I can see.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: Now we’ll, we’ll take

a tithing for ourselves

to help rebuild and then

everything we’re gonna

have to post guards and someone

is gonna have to take charge

of all this, put it to a use

rebuilding the city,

make sure that the antiquities

get back to the proper owners

and that the money is used

to just rebuild everything.

LAURA: People will have to put in

papers with the counsel.

MARISHA: I was gonna say people

are gonna have to pull papers.

TALIESIN: I think they’re probably not

gonna get their money back,

but they’re at least

gonna get their–

LAURA: Something.

TRAVIS: Should we reward Kerr?

Kerr, do you want

some of this bling?

PATRICK: Actually Kerr, after

you’re okay and kind of

up and about yourself,

probably very casually

like kind of wanders around

and like when he gets

to the jewelry and the gems,

like very matter

of factly fills up a sack.

MARISHA: Very matter of factly.

PATRICK: You know like, no like,

ooh, I’m a—I feel a little

awkward about this,

just like, like this is really

not my first rodeo and money.

And money,

money does some–

this is more

than they can carry.

And, um, I have some

uses for this money.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: I did give

20 pounds of gems

when we were down

in the city of Brass,

maybe I can find

some more gems.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

TALIESIN: No, this is, we are

taking our tithing.

You know taking it, we have work

that needs to be done.

MATT: How much are you taking?

I mean, it’s your choice

really at this point.

How much do you want to

and how much can you carry?

Do you feel

comfortable doing?

LAURA: We do have a lot of, we do

have a lot of money right now.

TALIESIN: We’re going to be rebuilding.

We need gems and platinum.

Let’s not take anything that

isn’t gems and platinum

and let’s not

take a ton of it.

TRAVIS: What about like big

diamonds or rubies

for like important

spells and stuff?

TALIESIN: A few of those

would be good.

MARISHA: Gems, yeah–gems for

heroes feasts are always good.

LAURA: Oh yeah, smart, smart.

TALIESIN: We did burn a bunch

of them for this.

LAURA: Smart, Grog.

TRAVIS: I pass out

from the smartness.

(laughing)

MATT: As Grog falls asleep

cuddling with the gold coins.

Like a slow rolling

Scrooge McDuck.

(yawn)

Vex, you do find–with

eight of your friends, too–

there are two diamonds roughly

worth about 1,000 gold pieces

that you can put off

to the side as component.

You do find gems,

but really I mean,

how much do you

want to take, really?

This isn’t how

much did you find,

there’s enough

here to take

pretty much anything

you can carry.

There’s no way you can carry

even but a fraction of this,

so, what do you want to take?

SAM: Platinum is worth ten gold?

LAURA: Yeah, so like we have–

SAM: I’m taking

200 platinum for myself.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I think I would

actually honestly say

at least 1,000

platinum in general

just for general

use for the group.

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: And then ten of each

gem that we can find.

LAURA: 1,000 platinum

for the group then?

-MATT: Sure.

-LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: That seems reasonable.

LAURA: Yeah, totally.

TALIESIN: We’re also gonna need to put

somebody in charge of all this.

MARISHA: Yes, someone trustworthy.

PATRICK: (snoring)

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Oh, we know you have

things to do.

TRAVIS: The guilt of it.

(laughing)

MARISHA: I see Kerr hesitate,

and I bend down

and I pick up like

a handful of gold and say…

PATRICK: No, it’s more like,

it’s like am I gonna

be in charge of another city?

LAURA: No, no, no, not

unless you want to be.

PATRICK: It’s, uh, but no, I grab mostly

not big gems, nothing flashy,

but light, portable,

and stuff that

can be converted into cash.

Like, I’ve got troops

who are going to–

and a city back home, yeah.

TALIESIN: And you did come here, so.

SAM: Vex, there are six,

there are seven of us.

Maybe we should

take a bit more.

MARISHA: I’m taking a little bit

of gold for myself

just 'cause I’m low.

LAURA: Yeah, if you guys want

to grab stuff yourself.

MATT: Kima’s abstained, by the way.

Kima’s not taking anything.

While Gilmore is currently

filling up a small satchel,

he’s like, “Well, I have

to rebuild some way.”

Shoveling in small amounts,

but you know, not too much.

LAURA: Same.

I’ll take…so hard.

TRAVIS: I’m taking 184 gold pieces.

MATT: Good job, Grog.

LAURA: Nice, Grog.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: I’m just gonna

put 500 gold pieces.

SAM: Dude, that’s

a million dollars.

MARISHA: That’s what I did

with 500.

TALIESIN: 500 gold pieces.

TRAVIS: Like candy or something.

Jellybeans in a jar.

LAURA: Fifty platinum,

so it’s lighter.

TALIESIN: We’re going to have

to seal this cave for now.

SAM: Why, the city is secured.

TALIESIN: The city is secured, the

city is about to become a riot

once they finish getting

-everything out of here.

-LAURA: And looters will come down here

and take far

more than we did.

TRAVIS: No, really?

SAM: Wait a second.

Don’t we owe The

Clasp half of this?

LAURA: We owe The Clasp

half of our loot.

SAM: What does that mean?

MARISHA: But that’s our loot,

that’s not the city’s.

LAURA: If we don’t take as much,

then we don’t give them as much.

SAM: I don’t think they

would view it that way.

TALIESIN: That’s the deal they made.

This is not our loot

we just looted.

LAURA: It’s not our money,

it’s Emon’s.

MARISHA: The Clasp should

be aware of that.

SAM: I think we’re going

to make an enemy

out of them by doing this.

TALIESIN: I think we’re going to

keep an enemy out of them

is really more likely.

LAURA: How do we even

know who we told?

It could have

been two underlings,

nobody would believe

what they said anyway.

TRAVIS: Sure would be a gesture in

the right direction, though.

MARISHA: Well we can, I’m sure

we can still throw them

a little bit

of platinum, but…

I mean, Percy–

SAM: What like 5,000,

is that what you’re saying,

half of, half

of what we take?

How does this work?

That’s nothing to them.

We promised them

untold riches.

LAURA: We took 1,000 platinum

for ourselves.

If we took another 1,000

and gave it to The Clasp,

that’s a lot of money.

TRAVIS: How about we don’t

give them anything

and we just let them know

it’s clear to come down here

and deal with it as they will.

SAM: They’ll take everything.

TALIESIN: I don’t know if they’ll

take everything, actually.

MARISHA: Well, Percy, you once

said that every good city

needs a good underbelly.

TALIESIN: That’s true.

MARISHA: I imagine that

the underbelly would also

have a vested interest

in a having good city,

I imagine it

works both ways, right?

TALIESIN: I’m so proud

of you right now.

MARISHA: Yeah, thank you.

TALIESIN: Oh my God.

MARISHA: I’m learning from you,

just like a little,

-where it’s appropriate.

-TALIESIN: I’m so sorry,

-but I’m so proud.

-MARISHA: Only where it’s appropriate.

TRAVIS: So what is it,

we hand deliver it

or we just let them know

it’s clear to come down?

SAM: Hand deliver, we don’t want

them coming here at all.

TRAVIS: I agree, it’s more personal.

You write the limerick and

we give them two platinum.

(laughing)

What was the number you said?

LAURA: That two is what I said, yes.

PATRICK: Send them an envelope

with half of the deck in it.

(gasps)

TRAVIS: It just turns into swords–

TALIESIN: How are you the cruelest

human I’ve ever–oh, my.

That’s amazing.

LAURA: I don’t know what

the deck can do.

Could it, could it cause

the entire city to crumble?

Potentially?

Ooh.

PATRICK: That, I do not know.

TALIESIN: We can give them the deck.

LIAM: Vax just woke up.

MATT: Hi, Vax, welcome back.

TRAVIS: So, what, five

thousand platinum?

SAM: Five thousand platinum.

LAURA: Why five tho–where are you

coming up with these numbers?

MARISHA: You literally said

different numbers every time.

TRAVIS: We could give them like

three pizza platinum,

it doesn’t

really matter to me,

I just want to go.

-LIAM: Hey, big man?

-TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: That’s a nice sword,

where did you get that?

TRAVIS: I took out a card

of this little pouch

and it turned into this thing.

LIAM: What are you talking about?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it was like a little card

in like a leather pouch

and then Vex took it from me

'cause apparently

I make too many weapons.

SAM: If we want them

to be our allies,

and not hate us

and try to kill us,

we have to give them

a good amount of money.

LIAM: What, The Clasp?

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: We’re talking about payment.

LAURA: We give them 1,000 platinum and

say that’s half of what we took.

LIAM: Oh, they’re a crime syndicate,

they’re gonna laugh at that.

SAM: I agree.

PATRICK: And they know when someone’s

running a game on them.

LAURA: But we didn’t take any more,

that’s our loot.

SAM: That’s not how

they’re gonna see this.

LIAM: That’s a letter

of the law argument,

they’re gonna want

to go spirit.

MARISHA: We also just saved their

city from utter destruction.

TRAVIS: Honestly, are we

gonna stay around

and really regulate what happens

here, we’re not, right?

We’ve got shit to do.

TALIESIN: I would honestly say,

and I cannot believe

that I’m agreeing to this,

but I think just

if we run into them,

we let them know

that the dragon’s dead

and that’s where it is.

TRAVIS: I’m with Percy.

TALIESIN: They’re not gonna

bankrupt the city,

it’s not in

their best interests.

They’re gonna

take a look at it

and they’re gonna get

what they can carry.

SAM: So we’re turning over the city

and the city’s treasury

to a bunch of thieves.

TALIESIN: We turned over the city

to a bunch of thieves,

they’ve basically

been running the place

for the past few months.

PATRICK: How small town am I?

Do I know about these folks?

MATT: You’ve never dealt

with them directly

other than scaring off a

couple of younger cutthroats

you caught in like

an alleyway here or there.

But you’re aware of The Clasp.

The Clasp, while

largely centered in Emon,

is a syndicate that is

across all Tal'Dorei

and has some hand in every

village no matter how small.

PATRICK: Right.

LAURA: Maybe we let them

know that it’s there,

but that the

guards are coming.

They won’t have

a lot of time.

MARISHA: Why don’t we just hand

this over to someone else

and let them handle it?

PATRICK: If you hand it

over to someone else,

and send them a letter, it

will take a while to get there.

SAM: The Clasp?

They’re down the hallway.

PATRICK: Which one?

TRAVIS: Over yonder.

SAM: They’re in the sewers

1,000 meters from here.

PATRICK: Oh.

MARISHA: Regardless,

I agree with Grog.

We have more important things

to worry about right now.

TRAVIS: I’m running for office.

SAM: T-shirt: Regardless,

I agree with Grog.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Things never

been said before.

PATRICK: Is there any of

the people collected,

the generals or whatever,

have you worked

with them as well?

LAURA: The Clasp or the–

PATRICK: No, the former

leaders of this city,

any of the people

that you’ve–

SAM: The military, we can put

them in charge of this.

TALIESIN: There’s not

really any military.

SAM: There’s a visiting army.

Yeah, we can put

them in charge of it,

at least temporarily.

They can be trusted.

TALIESIN: Can they?

LIAM: Kima, do you feel

like keeping an eye

on a small group of

soldiers from Syngorn?

Protecting this?

A few days?

MATT: “I could probably run it,

I’d probably have to go

and check in with Allie.

I’m sure she’d be interested

in knowing about this

since she’s, you know,

part of the council.”

LAURA: Right, we need to tell her.

MATT: “We have Asum–I mean

we still have a number

of standing council members

and there’s a few we still

haven’t accounted for.”

LIAM: This is your home.

TALIESIN: That would be better.

MATT: “My home is Westruun,

to be honest,

but I’ve kind of taken

this as a second home.”

TALIESIN: Far more stories of treasures

being looted by foreigners.

LAURA: Honestly, we need to get to

Whitestone, speaking of.

TRAVIS: Yeah, don’t we need

to like get a hand

and plant it under a tree

or something like that?

LAURA: Yes.

Yes.

SAM: Forgot about that.

TALIESIN: We have a hand.

MARISHA: We have a hand.

LAURA: We have ashes to

bury in Vasselheim.

MARISHA: We have a lot to do.

LAURA: We have to find out

where the fuck Raishan is.

Can we see if maybe

she went to Whitestone

and the whole city’s decimated?

MARISHA: I can try and scry

with the scrying eye,

but that’s it.

TRAVIS: How about we go to

Whitestone and then scry?

SAM: Well, we won’t need

to if we’re there.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Just find out

if it’s all right.

TALIESIN: Let’s crawl upstairs.

Let’s keep some

people on this, Kima,

and we’ll crawl upstairs.

MARISHA: I can try to scry on Rai–

Did I find a little, like a

scale of hers, by the way?

MATT: Glancing about, uh…

roll an investigation check

specifically

looking for the scale.

As opposed to looking for

other things about the room.

TALIESIN: That’s crock, that’s–

yeah, I know.

MARISHA: That’s slightly better.

Uh, ten total.

MATT: Ten total? It takes

you about ten minutes

and because the

shifting low light in here

the rocky formations

of the ground itself,

you’re having a hard time

finding any scales of Raishan’s.

MARISHA: Anything, blood?

MATT: It takes you about

15 or 20 minutes

before you actually

find a small cluster.

From one of the wounds

left behind by Grog.

MARISHA: Yeah, that’ll do it, yeah.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna

grab the bag of colding

and take samples of the

dragon eggs that we cracked,

the fluid, the bodies, like I’ll

put the whole thing in there.

We need that.

PATRICK: They intend?

-They took the body–

-LAURA: Raishan?

LIAM: She, uh, no, no, she’s been

playing us for a long time.

We were in a loose

agreement with her

to get to today

and we’ve never felt

like she’s told us

the whole picture.

Uh, we have watched her

gas scores of people

in front of us.

She’s killed many

of your friends.

She’s not good.

But no, we don’t ultimately

know what her next move is.

MARISHA: I can try to scry on her

and maybe get lucky

or I can try and

scry on Whitestone.

The problem is

is she’s smart,

so even if I try

and scry on her,

there’s a possibility

that she’ll resist it.

TALIESIN: She’s exhausted still,

I would assume.

MARISHA: She did burn all of her

legendary resistance,

-didn’t she?

-MATT: She did.

TALIESIN: And she’s

probably been running.

LIAM: What could it hurt?

MARISHA: I’m gonna try

and scry on Raishan.

MATT: Okay, casting the spell?

MARISHA: Scrying eye.

MATT: Scrying eye, okay the reason,

the item’s DC,

not your spell DC.

MARISHA: I guess so, but I

don’t know if you ever put

the scrying eye DC on here,

it doesn’t have a DC.

MATT: It doesn’t–then, uh, then

we’ll use your spell DC,

that’s fine, okay, so.

So as you guys

begin situating,

Kima walks up at the surface.

Gilmore’s still kind

of rummaging through

and trying to find some

interesting things.

And there’s a few moments when

you hear Gilmore across from you

like, “Hah, hah,

this is mine.”

Starting to find things left

over from his destroyed shop

that have been

scavenged by looters

and brought back to

Thordak as, you know,

paying homage to

their new ruler.

Um, Kima begins to head up

and you can hear now people

have begun to gather en masse

into the Cloudtop

it sounds like other–

the rest of your soldiers

along with Zahra and Kashaw

are walking up with her

and begin to organize

and find whoever’s been

fighting through the city

and figuring out how to set up a

perimeter to defend the center

which essentially the entire

economy of the city

lies underground.

You begin to pull

out the scrying eye

and set up the small

space for the ritual.

You concentrate on it and

kind of thrust your vision

towards the center

of the artifact.

What’s the spell DC?

MARISHA: My spell save DC is 20.

MATT: All right.

So as you focus, you feel

your vision kind of lift up

into the dark clouds

as the storm is drifting

south–south east of the city

towards where the wyvern

riders have been escaping.

Into the clouds and the dark,

the moisture, the rain,

you feel the humidity

almost oppressive against you

and you feel your

essence being tugged,

being pulled rapidly

in a direction.

Amidst the cloud, you don’t

know which direction it is,

but it’s pulled you quickly

and suddenly you

emerge from the clouds

and you’re over ocean.

Um, over ocean you

see in the distance

just open waves,

no signs of land, just water.

And then a singular island,

isolated, distant,

far from everything.

Your vision suddenly jumps,

scats upright to the outside

of this cavern opening.

You see–

skips, I meant to say.

Nothing escapes Laura’s mind.

She is our

resident 13-year-old.

-LIAM: It was me that time.

-LAURA: It was actually him.

-It was him that time.

-MATT: You’re twins, that’s fine.

LIAM: Poopy.

MATT: Yes.

Skips ahead to the

exterior of some sort of

a mountain based cavern

that dips deep into the ground

in the center of this very,

very thick jungle-like terrain.

You can see portions

of the cavern here

have been ruined

and broken down

and there appears to be some

sort of geothermal activity

in the vicinity.

Your vision skips again

and you can see

a deep series

of winding caverns

that lead to what

looks to be like a stone–

a very, very old

stone laboratory.

You see cages.

You see wooden furniture.

You see what look to

be portions of bookshelves

that are toppled over.

And out of the blurry peripheral

of this one focal point

where the spell

has taken you,

you can see what looks

to be just out of sight,

a large deep red crimson mass

that is just resting still.

You also see what appear to be

to your other peripheral,

two ovoid-like red shapes that

are kind of resting in the edge.

And there at one

of the bookshelves

you see a woman

with long dark green hair.

Um, wounded and bleeding.

Currently pulling books out

of the shelf and opening them

and looking through and slamming

it closed and throwing it down

and pulling another

book and going through.

♪

The vision recedes and your eyes

blink and come back to you

and you’re back

in the cavern of the lair.

MARISHA: She’s not in Whitestone.

SAM: She was looking for the

third book of the trilogy

of Patrick Rothfuss–

(laughing)

It couldn’t be

found anywhere!

Why can’t I find

this fucking book?

(laughing)

MATT: And with that

we’ll take our break.

(cheering)

That’s your break, we’ll–

(laughing)

Alright, we’ll be back

here in a few minutes,

take a restroom break

and a snack break,

we’ll see you

guys here shortly.

Stay tuned.

(laughing)

Break
♪

Part II
MATT: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to Critical Role. (laughing) Well done, Liam, well done. (indistinct remarks) So welcome back. Jumping back into our adventure. (laughing) So as the armies begin to filter in, word begins to spread throughout the city that every Fire Giant that stood beneath Thordak in the city has been slain. A multitude of the lizardfolk that were under Thordak and the Conclaves barrier have also been slain or have fled the city. The storm of the Ashari has wandered and dissipated as the immediate threat of the wyvern riding horde has fled towards the Stormcrest Mountains to the Southeast, and are now out of sight. The armies have converged and have begun searching for survivors and putting them under their care. Members of the Clasp have begun to rise up and meet with the remaining armies in discussions of how to bring most of the survivors out as the Clasp has actually been– as they discussed before– taking many of the survivors that aren’t already bound to Thordak and keeping them underground, and kind of building small underground tent cities for them to live in while they try and figure out what to do. It’s very interesting with those of you who’ve lived in Emon for enough time to see so many different people and so many different racial backgrounds, and so many different cultural decrees all coming to one point and all working together so quickly and so strongly just for the sake of recovery, for aid and there is an air of relief. Some people are gathering the dead and identifying them, bringing them out into portions of the streets to make sure that they are properly buried and the families are given notification. You can see a lot of the fires are being put out and people are doing the best they can to salvage as much of the city that still stands. And a lot of the city still stands untouched. I’d say a good third of it is gonna need some serious reconstruction and rebuilding. And being one of the largest– if not the largest city on the continent, it’s gonna take some time. You guys have begun to speak with the Warmaster as he approaches with his army, and kind of trade stories on what has transpired on their end and yours. And as this is happening, a familiar face steps into the district with a small group of cloaked figures.

LAURA: Oh shit.

MATT: Standing before you, you see a tall, scaled female Dragonborn, tailless, armored, Tofor Brotorus, looking harried and exhausted. She steps up and you see what looks to be the cusp of a toothy grin at the edge of her mouth as she catches your attention, raises one hand. “You have no idea how happy I am to see that you all live. So, if I’m to be told, you are the ones that took down the Cinder King?”

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: Us and with the aid of many others, of course.

MATT: “Then this is indeed the turning point. Do you have access to any of the members of the council? We’ve been cut off in the Lyceum for months.”

TRAVIS: Aye.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: Allura is safe in Whitestone currently. We can say Whitestone now right?

TALIESIN: We can say Whitestone now, yes.

MARISHA: Okay. She’s safe in Whitestone.

TRAVIS: Whitestone. Sorry, are we not saying it?

MARISHA: Whitestone, yeah. It’s kinda nice saying it again.

LAURA: Emperor Uriel’s wife and children are in Whitestone as well.

MATT: “This is good to know, I was worried about them after the initial attack. Okay, all right.”

MARISHA: Asum should still be here as well, right?

TALIESIN: Back in Whitestone as well.

MARISHA: Also back in Whitestone?

SAM: Mhm, Whitestone. I think–wait, Raishan was supposed to take Asum somewhere. Did we ever– did that ever happen?

TRAVIS: I thought Asum came down to the Ziggurat.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Raishan brought Asum back to us.

LAURA: Yeah, that.

LIAM: Sound of confidence.

TALIESIN: It was like a month ago.

MATT: “Very well. With Warmaster’s aid, and any of you who are able to, we’ll begin to do the best we can to restructure some semblance of law and order here within the city.”

MARISHA: And Kima’s in there, she’s kind of guarding the treasury, if you will.

SAM: Solo.

MARISHA: Solo, by herself.

LIAM: We were hoping to peel off some of the troops, maybe some of Syngorn’s troops to help keep an eye on things in there.

MATT: “Well, master, could you make that happen?” You see Mikael Daxio who is currently in the midst of giving orders to a few of his soldiers kind of puts his hand up and walks over. “I’m sorry, what?” “Mikael, if you would be able to offer some aid or strength of your troops to guard what remains of the city’s economy.” And Mikael nods. “Should not be a worry. Of course, I’ll uh–” and he begins to talk with Tofor, and they begin to break down and structure how people are gonna go here and there. So the longer this progresses, the more it gets into more logistical conversations. What do you guys wanna do?

MARISHA: I fill them in on what I saw in scrying. More importantly, what this means is that she is on this plane of existence. I can’t scry if she’s on another plane, so she’s here.

LIAM: Do you know where that island is?

MARISHA: I could attempt to think really hard about it. I could attempt to think.

SAM: The Marisha Ray Story.

LIAM: Scrying doesn’t give any direction.

MATT: I mean even the visuals I’m giving from a narrative standpoint are like a little more than the spell should, but it’s for fun.

MARISHA: Can I do like a– can I do a roll to see–

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

MARISHA: Oh, geez. Thanks for your vote of confidence, Sam. That’s not good, that’s not good.

SAM: For the dice.

MARISHA: This is your fault. It’s a five total.

SAM: Yeah, it is.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait, no, just a straight intelligence check?

MATT: Yup, intelligence modifier.

MARISHA: Yeah, it’s five.

MATT: Yeah, you’ve– you, for lack of a better term, are the homeschooled one of the bunch, and you only recently left the– well, before meeting the rest of these adventurers, you know, left Zephra to go and see what the world was about. So, unfortunately, you don’t have as much worldly experience as other people on your team would. So the visuals you have clear in your mind, you have no personal life experience or any place that you’ve seen that you can connect the dots to.

MARISHA: I turned to Pike and asked– and tell her of the island, and ask if she has encountered anything like this in her travels.

MATT: She closes her eyes for a second and kinda winces a little bit, her tongue kinda peeks outside her mouth for a second. “Uh, no. Wide ocean, you said, right?”

MARISHA: Big, nothing but ocean, except for that one singular island. It looked like there was geothermal activity going on, so it must be near a volcano or something.

MATT: “Most of my sailing was done in the Ozmit Sea.”

MARISHA: Nothing like that?

MATT: “Nothing that I’ve seen. Sorry.”

MARISHA: It’s okay, Pikey.

PATRICK: I’ll throw a Hail Mary, like how wide-ranging was I back in the day when I was doing this for my career? Any of this sound familiar to me?

MATT: Roll an intelligence check.

LAURA: Come on! (mixed remarks) Natural 20!

PATRICK: Eighteen.

MATT: Eighteen? Plus your intelligence modifier?

PATRICK: Eighteen. No negative modifiers.

MATT: That’s good. Must be nice. (laughing) As Keyleth is going over the description again, you’re thinking about it, and you did a bit of sailing. Sailing in the Lucidian Ocean is difficult. That’s why Wildemount… Take it outside, Liam.

LAURA: He’s good, he’s good.

MARISHA: Don’t die.

LIAM: I pulled the wrong card from the deck.

MATT: The glass of many drinks. You’ve done a bit of sailing out of necessity, and the Lucidian Ocean is known for being the more treacherous of the large bodies of water, which is why between Wildemount and the other continents there isn’t a whole lot of trade, or the trade that’s out there is generally considered very expensive and for rarer items and resources. What catches your mind is the idea of geothermal activity. And while you haven’t specifically been to a place like that, the islands you know that usually contain that type of subvolcanic activity to expel that type of, you know, region based terrain, those usually are in the southern region, south of Tal'Dorei. More like southern, southern Ozmit Sea. Close, but not specifically to the Hespit Archipelago, but somewhere in that similar type region.

SAM: Hespit Archipelago?

TRAVIS: I believe it’s archipela-jo.

MATT: I’m gonna throw every dice at you, Travis.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Southern southern Ozmit Sea.

PATRICK: This lair did not seem to be the bookish sort of lair, like the sort of dragon who collects a lot of lore, and would have like, stuff like that, no.

MATT: No, not this one, this–the– Thordak in particular has been interesting too, and as people have been discussing it here– once a very intelligent and cunning Red Dragon. You don’t know the full details of it, but there was something about his return to this realm after being sealed on the Fire Elemental plane, his return involved harboring an enchanted gem within his chest that kind of held and carried the essence of the Fire plane with him, and the longer it resided within Thordak, it caused him to mutate and swell into this, like, primordial beast dragon, but it also drove him insane. And so everything you’ve seen in the lair, it seems to be a natural chaotic formation of a more feral type dragon mentality than what you’ve heard about in your travels.

PATRICK: Right, um, the only other thing I can think of from what you’ve described is if she was there, and she– and this place was obviously in ruin and abandoned, and she was tossing at looking for information– it wasn’t hers, but it’s abandoned– the only thing I can think of that she would want would be some sort of lore or magic, which means this is the lab of someone powerful, which means those people show up in stories. And so, that might be a way to find out where this is. In this area, if you find out who was doing terrible things– 'cause you said cages, right?

MARISHA: Yes.

PATRICK: Nothing good comes from cages. So whoever was doing terrible things in that area–

LAURA: Maybe a necromancer of some sort?

PATRICK: Well, if she stole a dead dragon…

LAURA: Hm, all right.

TALIESIN: Can I make a lore roll for Booky McBookerson?

MATT: Make a history check.

TALIESIN: Natural twenty.

(cheering)

PATRICK: The look of incredulity on his face!

TALIESIN: That’s a 29.

MATT: Literally was like, If he’s… he better roll a natural– okay.

TALIESIN: You’re just gonna hand me your notebook and I can just read.

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: Well done, man.

MARISHA: Holy shit, holy shit!

TALIESIN: Knew there was one in there somewhere.

MARISHA: Oh my god, you just saved us a trip to the library.

MATT: Don’t say that yet.

TALIESIN: I was about to say, no, we’re going to the library. Use these places or they disappear.

MATT: You have always had a mild fascination with the macabre. And since the Age of Arcanum was also referred to as the Age of Wanton Necromancy, because at the time, there was no law against it. While necromancy exists in modern day Tal'Dorei– more so in Wildemount, but it’s generally heavily regulated. There are very few necromancers that weren’t sanctioned or part of a government system so that it could be very closely watched, and any sort of research or development could be made, you know, made sure that it didn’t turn into the usual classic, you know– My power’s greater than everything, I’m gonna go off and do my own thing. The den that she’s describing is very much that type of a necromancer. And there are only a handful that catch your attention. One, uh, is an entity that you’re very familiar with. That is what was once a great mage, necromancer, that began to pursue ascension to god-dom, known as the Whispered One, or the very familiar name of Vecna. However, however, the acknowledgement of Vecna’s history was heavily tied into Wildemount, and what little bit of research you’ve done into the back history of the Briarwoods says that wherever Vecna’s old, forgotten laboratory was, it most likely existed on the continent of Wildemount. The only other individual you can think of that is known historically was an individual known as Opash. Opash was a sanctioned necromancer during the Age of Arcanum on the continent of Marquet, and then after being discovered to be delving into his own experimentations, largely in the idea of crafting and sculpting flesh and undead flesh into whatever form it wishes, as well as the prolonging of life to pursue this endeavor, was set to be, was set to be executed. Through some very, very clever conversations and favors that were owed to Opash, it was agreed instead to just banish the necromancer out to sea.

SAM: Well, that could be it too.

MARISHA: Wait, what was that last part? That was really important, banish the necromancer out to sea?

MATT: Banished out to sea.

MARISHA: Who was banished to sea?

MATT: Opash.

SAM: So those are two different stories, two different–

MATT: Those are the only two, like, famous necromancers that–

SAM: Are a-sea.

LAURA: You’re brilliant.

MARISHA: You guys– you’re all– we have such smart friends. Oh my goodness.

TALIESIN: Well, we need to, in theory, find the last resting place of Opash.

MARISHA: Well, you know, we have–

TALIESIN: Can’t be harder than killing a Red Dragon.

MARISHA: We have a paladin of the Raven Queen, and from what I remember, the Raven Queen hates necromancers.

LAURA: Vecna is one of her sworn enemies.

MARISHA: Maybe she knows, maybe you could talk to her.

TALIESIN: We can do that back at Whitestone.

PATRICK: What do I know about the Raven Queen? (laughing) Because that one’s, that one’s new to me.

MATT: So yes, it catches your attention. The Raven Queen, the mother of ravens is, um, is a fairly prominent member of the Pantheon of Exandria, the entire world. Once immortal, ascended to take on the mantle of death and winter as her domains of influence. She presides not over the afterlife, but the moment in transition from life to death. She is the keeper of fate, and keeps watch over the destinies of those who walk the prime and beyond planes, and occasionally takes interest in those that tend to bend the threads around them. Um, you know, resurrection, healing magic, things that maintain life naturally or a natural life, per se, are not infractions upon her belief as destiny is stronger and if an entity is meant to live to fulfill his destiny, then that is how it’s meant to be. It’s the creatures that pervert destiny, creatures that bypassed the natural predestined and essentially, balk what, in her sphere, says is supposed to be your way, your path, your timeline. Those are her fervent enemies. Largely feared because of what she represents. Largely misunderstood because of what she represents. Generally, worship of the Raven Queen is pretty rare from the circles you’ve run into. You’ve generally walked in a lot of– especially in recent years– more, um– for lack of a better term– not urban–

LAURA: Rural.

MATT: Rural, thank you, more rural environments Raven Queen worship is acknowledged, but generally there’s no temples to her.

PATRICK: Right, okay.

TALIESIN: I love the notion of cornfield Raven Queen worship.

LAURA: So creepy.

TALIESIN: Ohh, I’m damned for that.

(laughing)

MATT: Oh, don’t worry, you’ll get to Wildemount eventually.

MARISHA: I’m sure they’re out there.

TALIESIN: The harvest is good this year.

LAURA: You know, Raishan did say– I mean, I know she’s prone to lying, but she did say she was from Wildemount. That’s where she wanted to go back to she said.

TALIESIN: We have two very clean paths.

LAURA: Maybe she’s studying necromancy, maybe she’s been studying Vecna, maybe she’s been studying Opash.

TALIESIN: Maybe she’s been studying a lot of things, but one of them would probably be how to resurrect a red dragon.

MARISHA: And she’s also very familiar with, I’m sure, whatever the Briarwoods were doing, and with whatever the Ziggurat is on the bottom of Whitestone that we still don’t know what it’s technically for.

LAURA: She knows what it is.

MARISHA: I bet she does.

LAURA: She knows what the orb of death is.

MARISHA: Is Gilmore still around?

MATT: Gilmore is. Gilmore’s kind of listening to the conversation while finishing closing off the satchels that he’s filled with coin, and is currently kind of thinking to himself with his, you know, fingers crossed, his chin kind of perched upon his hands, and himself, trying to see if there’s anything he knows out of the conversation. You do notice that also at this point there’s a very faint glowing glyph on his forehead.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: What is that thing?

MATT: Do you say that?

LAURA: Yeah. What’s going on there?

TALIESIN: What’s on your face?

MARISHA: You’ve got a little, you’ve got a little something.

SAM: You always look dashing, but you have a new added dashing feature to your forehead right now.

LAURA: Gold, right up–

MATT: Oh, and he kinda waves a hand briefly, and it kind of fades back into his skin and it’s like there’s no glow there. “Ha, it’s a, it’s a, just a thing.”

SAM: Oh, that seems fine, okay.

(laughing)

LAURA: No, seriously.

MARISHA: Hopefully a good thing.

MATT: “Everyone has their magical specialties. I, um, I carry, I carry power in my bloodline.”

SAM: What power?

MATT: He looks back, 'cause there’s people kind of in the vicinity, and he–

LAURA: Just mouth it, I can read lips.

MATT: He kinda goes, “I’m what they refer to as a runechild.

LAURA: What does that, what does that mean?

MATT: You don’t know.

LAURA: I know, what does it mean?

MATT: Go and make a history check.

LAURA: Okay. Oh no, I don’t know.

TRAVIS: You don’t know shit. You know less than me.

TALIESIN: What’s a child?

(laughing)

MATT: Who are you, who am I?

TRAVIS: I’ve got a new weapon down in the, in the lair. Can you identify this?

MATT: “I can.”

TRAVIS: Just take a look at it.

MATT: “I’ve got a few low level spells still available, certainly. Oh, this is quite a fancy endeavor.”

TRAVIS: It’s really pretty.

MATT: “Oh, it’s not just pretty, it’ll perform for you. This, my friend, is a dancing sword.”

SAM: A dancing sword?

MARISHA: How does it work?

LAURA: How do you make it work?

TRAVIS: I throw it on the ground.

SAM: I start playing a ditty.

(imitating instrument playing)

MATT: Okay, what’d you do, Grog?

TRAVIS: I threw it on the ground. I throw it on the ground! I don’t need your dancing!

MATT: My weapon’s not a sword!

TRAVIS: Duh!

(laughing)

MATT: I’m not part of your feudal system! All right, so you throw the sword on the ground.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: It’s gonna kill me.

LIAM: Clang-a-lang-a-lang.

TRAVIS: Clang-a-lang-a-lang.

MATT: Here we go. (humming) The sword goes clang-clang. The music’s playing, sword just stays there.

LAURA: I don’t think that’s how it works, Grog.

SAM: ♪ Dancing sword ♪ ♪ Feel the– ♪♪

TRAVIS: I feel moved by Scanlan’s tunes, and I go over and I pick up the sword and… (singing gibberish)

SAM: Maybe it has to lead, Grog.

(crosstalk) (laughing)

SAM: ♪ I know this much is true ♪♪

MATT: As Grog slowly rotates, caressing the back of this ornate scimitar, the music emanating from Scanlan’s fantastic shaum. A number of nearby military begin to slowly turn and just kind of cock their heads and watch as an unexpected display presents itself amongst the Cloudtop ruins.

TRAVIS: Perverts.

MATT: Gilmore leans in, “You might wanna spend some time with it first. I don’t think it trusts you yet.”

SAM: Take it to dinner.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but it’s very sharp.

LAURA: Sit down and compliment it a lot.

LIAM: I think you have to hang out in the shitter with it for a while.

TRAVIS: Oh right, shitter, compliments, take it to dinner.

MARISHA: Conjure some wine in your jug.

LAURA: Oh, good call.

TRAVIS: For it or for me?

LAURA: Both, both.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: “Once it likes you it’ll tell you a magic word. Use the word and that sword fights on its own.”

SAM: On its own?

TRAVIS: Really?

TALIESIN: Like a Warner Brothers cartoon.

LAURA: So you can fight– it can fight and he can fight with another thing?

(gasping and laughing)

You should give it to Scanlan.

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: I’m sorry.

TRAVIS: She forgets herself sometimes, it’s all right. Thank you, Gilmore.

MATT: “Of course, anything else you need?”

MARISHA: Back to the runechild thing.

MATT: “Yes?”

MARISHA: What’s that about?

LIAM: What’s a runechild, Shaun?

LAURA: You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, but please.

MATT: “Well, I just– it’s, um, it’s a natural thing that some people are born with. It’s a gift, it’s, um–”

MARISHA: Like scoliosis?

MATT: “Adjacent.”

LIAM: That means I had it.

MATT: “But no, it’s–there aren’t many of us, and let’s just say, in times past, we were– runechildren were sought after. Not always by the best of intentions. So I’d like to keep this information–”

MARISHA: Sure.

LAURA: Of course.

LIAM: Was that a problem even in Emon or just where you hail from?

TALIESIN: Another threat we need to deal with at some point.

MATT: “It pervaded the entire Age of Arcanum, but, um, it’s not that it’s– it’s just not well understood, and, uh, um, just please.”

TRAVIS: Your word is safe with us because I don’t know what you’re talking about.

MATT: “That’s why I like you, Grog. The details go nowhere.”

MARISHA: Gilmore, in your time in growing up on Marquet, did you ever hear any tale of someone named Opesh?

LAURA: Opash.

MATT: “Opash?”

MARISHA: He’s a necromancer.

LAURA: Terrible necromancer.

MATT: “Hmm.”

TRAVIS: Don’t tell him.

MATT: “Can’t say I have, I’m sorry. I wasn’t really a history buff, sorry.”

LAURA: Damn, I bet J'Mon would’ve known.

TALIESIN: We have to go back anyway.

LAURA: We have a hand to deliver.

TALIESIN: We do, we have many things. If anything else, the next order of business is to make a list.

SAM: That’s what I’m doing right now.

TALIESIN: I’m not actually going to build a list, we’re just gonna make–

MARISHA: How much longer do you think Raishan will stay there? Especially if she’s not finding what she’s looking for.

TRAVIS: Not long.

TALIESIN: I think it’ll be a base of operations, that’s what I would do. If I thought that I was going to be safe somewhere, I would stay there and simply hunt out, much as we did with Whitestone. Safe until it’s not.

LAURA: Do you think she knew you were scrying on her?

MARISHA: She didn’t seem to notice. A lot of times you can kinda tell.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: She seemed distracted.

TALIESIN: She’s been beaten pretty badly.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: We should get to Whitestone.

SAM: Is here taken care of? And do we need to stop in on our home, our keep, and do anything there before we leave?

LIAM: I mean, can– aren’t we all tapped out? Can you get us to Whitestone now?

LAURA: Maybe we spend the night in the keep for old time’s sake.

SAM: For old time’s sake.

TRAVIS: The old hangout!

MARISHA: I could get us to– back to Whitestone using my last seventh level spell, and then that’s it, I’m done, done, done.

TALIESIN: We could go home.

SAM: You couldn’t get all of us, right, I mean–

MARISHA: No, transport via plants.

SAM: But like Jarrett, and Kima, and Gilmore–

MARISHA: It lasts six seconds.

MATT: “If we all go quickly, yeah.”

LIAM: We could get in a line.

MARISHA: I think my record was like 25 people when we were moving refugees through. Yeah, it was pretty good, still trying to break that.

MATT: “I would recommend not really trying to break it.”

PATRICK: We don’t wanna get 25 and a half.

(laughing)

MATT: “You’ve seen it happen, I can tell.” (mixed remarks) “Well, I’m glad I’m alive, I’m glad you’re all alive.”

LAURA: Thank you for helping.

LIAM: Thank you, Shaun.

MATT: “It’s the least I could do, and if anything, it’s really– this experience has helped me come to terms with the fact that I should not be on the battlefield. I need to stay in the shop, and I–”

TRAVIS: That is not true, that finger of yours is very powerful.

MATT: “Yes, and I was also on fire a lot. I want to avoid that.”

TRAVIS: That’s true.

TALIESIN: Are you gonna be rebuilding your shop here or are we gonna see you in Whitestone as well?

MATT: “You know, my intent a while back was to start a franchise. We’ll see how the winds carry me, after all, I think–” And he kinda tugs open this large heavy sack and satchel that’s on his side now, and to the other side you see a small compact bag of holding, and he goes, “I think I’ve got it taken care of.”

(laughing)

LAURA: Nice.

TRAVIS: Brilliant. We wish you well, Gilmore.

MATT: “Well, I mean, if you’re going to Whitestone, I’m coming with you.”

TRAVIS: No, you gotta stay. I’m just kidding, you can come.

(laughing)

LAURA: Ker, are you gonna come to Whitestone with us?

LIAM: Stay the night and have a drink with us.

SAM: Are we going now?

LAURA: We can bounce you back.

SAM: We’re not even gonna go to our keep for a little bit. Did we go there?

TALIESIN: We did, we came in. Stopped by the ruins.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Heyo, heyo, Ker, heyo.

PATRICK: I could use a drink, I would love to. I would love to, give me just a moment, and I head back to the troops and I talk to, like, the couple of them that have kind of like risen up–

LAURA: Samantha.

PATRICK: Samantha, yeah, like fucking runs the whole thing right now.

LIAM: Sam’s pretty legit.

PATRICK: Yeah. And so– and I also kind of circumspectly– I sort of distribute a little bit of money. I give Samantha some, and this is like– it’s like if mething happens, if I don’t come back, here’s how long you stay, here’s what to do among the populous. Like– and I don’t need to give them the talk of like, No looting, 'cause they’ve already had Daddy Ker like constantly lecturing them about how to not be dicks.

MATT: The kind of people that would follow you into battle for this, as small as your group was, the kind of people that you know you can trust this, and Samantha with her like, kind of, you know, graying hair that’s pulled into this kind of hard topknot on top, and her darker skin with the scar across her cheek, and her breastplate of armor, she comes up and kind of grabs your hand and goes, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it taken care of, it’s fine.”

PATRICK: Right, yeah, it’s right, you’ve done it before.

MATT: “We’ve gathered the dead, we’ll make sure with what you’ve given that we’ll get it back to the families that remain.”

PATRICK: Right, this is gonna be a tricky place for a couple of weeks, and not only could our people maybe use a rest, but maybe it would benefit from 30 or 40 level-handed people with swords maybe keeping an eye out, maybe traveling in pairs around the city making sure nobody’s houses get broken into. Just–you can’t take care of everything, but it would not be bad to camp out maybe for a week. Wait for me, and I’ll be back, and if I’m not, you know where to go.

MATT: “Hey, I’m always down to rough up some ruffians.”

PATRICK: It’s–yeah, okay.

MATT: “Ker, go with your friends.”

PATRICK: Okay.

TRAVIS: Is Samantha attractive?

LAURA: Should we–just ignore. She has that breastplate.

MATT: Yeah, I mean, she looks like she could definitely bruise you in the face with a left hook. So, for you, yeah.

TRAVIS: Awesome, hey, Ker, Ker.

PATRICK: Hm?

TRAVIS: Put in a good word.

PATRICK: I–she–I…

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Hey.

MATT: “He’s going with you, right?”

PATRICK: Yeah.

MATT: “Great, okay.”

LAURA: Does Kima wanna come with us?

MATT: Yeah, Kima’s ready to go, she’s like, “All right, we’re going back to Whitestone?”

LAURA: Does everything look like it’s in order with Daxio, with everyone here?

MATT: “Sure.”

LAURA: Are we good to leave?

MATT: “I don’t do the whole council thing, but they assure me it’s fine, Allie’s gonna know what to do. I just–this is really depressing me.”

LAURA: I look at Daxio, is everything okay, can we cut out–

MATT: He’s in the middle of a conversation. “Yes, yes, we’ve got it covered. Let Allura know as soon as she can, come to us, we have a lot to discuss.”

LAURA: Will do.

MATT: “Everyone, thank you.”

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: “And from me, from all the civilians of the city, from Tal'Dorei proper, we all owe you a great debt of gratitude.”

LAURA: Thank you for having our back.

MATT: “Thank you for having ours. Now, off with you, you know where to find us.”

LIAM: Kima, come on, let’s get you back to Allie.

MARISHA: We gotta find a tree.

SAM: Might I just–

TALIESIN: We have a tree at the keep.

MARISHA: We do have a tree at the keep if we wanted to make a stop at the keep.

SAM: So we are now stiffing The Clasp.

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: No.

LAURA: By the way, Daxio… (laughing) I’m sure you’re aware, but– and we’ll let Allura know as well– The Clasp was instrumental in keeping survivors alive here in Emon. They definitely deserve a bit of the pot.

TALIESIN: Compensation.

SAM: Handsome reward.

MATT: “We’ll discuss with them. I do believe that we’ve already had a few conversations with a few operatives during our arrival within the city, and they’ve been very forthcoming with information, and willing to aid us. So, yes, I appreciate the acknowledgement.”

LAURA: We wouldn’t have made it here without them.

SAM: Please let them know that we vouched for them.

LIAM: They’ve at least earned the old status quo.

TRAVIS: What is that?

MATT: “Very well.”

LAURA: I have no idea.

PATRICK: And just to mention, if you take people like that and give them, in a place in your town, you can keep an eye on them.

MATT: He eyes kinda narrow a little bit, he nods towards you. “Indeed. Well, I’ll take it from here. Return when you can. Get Allura back to us, and stay safe.” And he turns back to handle some more business. What do you guys wanna do?

TRAVIS: Make for Greyskull Keep–

LAURA: Where our giant tree is so we can go to our other giant tree.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What they said.

MATT: You guys make your way walking southward through Emon, and–

LAURA: Just loot everything along the way, like–

MARISHA: Just like decking children.

LAURA: Every person you see.

(crosstalk)

LIAM: Matt starts rolling random encounters.

MATT: Six episodes just getting out of Emon.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Why the hell did we walk?

MATT: You guys make your way through, and as you do, it’s, it’s an emotional journey, because as you walk through the city that became your home as you all became a family, you can see familiar sights, you can see familiar thoroughfares, and streetsides, and taverns, many of which have sustained severe damage, many that have been reduced to nothing but rubble and ash. And some that still stand defiantly versus all the difficulty, and stress, and strenuous struggle that has existed for weeks and weeks and weeks here. You see people slowly emerging from the shadows to try and reclaim what remains of their life, but you also see them helping each other. You also see a comparison between the busy bustle and kind of general selfish lifestyle that most people in a well-off capital city exist in replaced with a newly understood sense of kinship and looking out for each other. You see the guards themselves beginning to really understand, in their lifetime, the first true, large-scale victory for the betterment of their people and what that means to them. And there’s kinda a sense of pride through the sadness that many of the armed soldiers you’ve come across probably never had. It gives you hope, though to see it in such a state in itself is harrowing in its own right. You can already begin to see through this energy and through the slow crawling return to life that you’ve helped ensure that Emon still has a future, let alone Tal'Dorei itself. No one catches your attention as you leave, but a number of eyes train onto you as you exit. And many of them flash with recognition, their face going bright, and then with just a solemn nod of, “Thank you.” Eventually you find yourself to the southern gates of Emon exiting out into the charred fields that once were green and lush with grain and grass. Eventually coming upon the exterior of Greyskull Keep, the home of Vox Machina. Just as you left it, abandoned, the front gate partially ajar. There stands the keep. Mighty, defiant, and somewhere there is a jar of no-longer-magical poop. (laughing) Making your way inside, there is the garden that you left within the Temple to Sarenrae and the large central tree that you use for most of your transport to and from, Keyleth.

MARISHA: How’s the garden look?

MATT: Looks as good as you left it. It was far enough from the battle to where it didn’t seem to suffer any sort of blows or issues. You guys managed to basically focus everything within the city’s walls, so, good on you for that.

MARISHA: Okay, anybody need anything?

SAM: Not gonna go through the– need anything from your rooms or anything?

LAURA: We’ll be back here.

SAM: Change of underwear?

TRAVIS: What’s that?

LAURA: It’s all at Whitestone. We have everyone with us. Jarrett, Kash, Zahra.

MATT: They’ve all kinda walked along with you.

LIAM: I’m just gonna pluck another flower and tuck it behind my ear.

MATT: Okay. As Keyleth steps forward and places her hands across the base of the tree, she focuses and it’s almost like grasping two ends of a bag and then pulling it open with alternating zippers. You watch the bark split, and as it opens up and crawls from floor to the seven-foot apex, a doorway is opened temporarily, and on the other side you immediately see the, the slow morning sun beginning to rise in Whitestone across the city.

SAM: Jump in.

MARISHA: Six seconds, go, go, go!

MATT: You all go charging through as fast as you can, all emerging into the center of Whitestone’s central area, the twilight being slowly cast away by the rising sun. The Sun Tree at your back as the doorway closes behind you, and the cold air immediately catches your lungs. You’ve been amongst the heat and the clouds of smoke and soot of Emon for so long amongst the struggle, the cold crisp air is almost a welcome moment of respite from that experience. You look around you and the little bits of grass have broken the cobblestone and floor of the open area, have bits of frozen dew across their surface, and it’s this beautiful crystal moment of peace that you didn’t realize you’ve been seeking for quite some time. You can see the gentle bit of light beginning to crest over the mountains, hitting Castle Whitestone ahead of you. You’ve returned. What do you wanna do?

LAURA: Well, I thought it would a be a nightcap, but it seems like it’s a morning cap instead.

LIAM: That’s our specialty.

TALIESIN: It’s night somewhere.

LIAM: That is our specialty.

LAURA: Head to the castle, have a drink, tell Allura what’s going on.

MARISHA: Should find Allura. And Cassandra.

TALIESIN: Yes, let’s head to the castle.

LAURA: Hey, Ker.

PATRICK: Hm?

LAURA: Wanna see where we live?

PATRICK: I will admit to a passing curiosity.

TALIESIN: Let’s give him a tour.

LIAM: This place was full of fucking vampires. They were everywhere, they were giants. It was terrible, we’ve renovated, yeah.

SAM: We led a rebellion and I was the general, it was amazing.

TALIESIN: We let him say that.

LAURA: He was a dinosaur.

LIAM: Any beret you see one someone’s head right now is because of this man right here.

LAURA: Oh, and that flat part of land, that’s mine.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: I thought they said that was the wastelands.

LAURA: No, it’s mine.

TRAVIS: Isn’t that where they bury all the shit?

SAM: Yup.

TRAVIS: Yup.

(laughing)

MATT: As you guys walk your way up the path to Castle Whitestone, the Pale Guard morning shift has already begun to walk across the grounds. They greet you, you’re let into the castle, and from your perspective, this hillside, this small mountain that marks the northern side of Whitestone, the city that sits in the central valley surrounded by the thick Parchwood Forest, you see this beautiful castle. Not too large, but enough to have once housed a very respectable royal family, if you will, of at least lord and lady blood. Made of a dull pale gray. You’ve never been to Whitestone, you’ve heard about it, and you immediately assume that, Well, this is what they call it 'cause the castle itself has a little bit of white. Entering inside, it’s slowly beginning to rouse. You sense some energy with the sunrise. People begin to make breakfast and guards begin to walk past. Eventually, with you guys taking a moment to kind of rest and even grab a little bit of food, as early as it is, Cassandra enters. You watch as a woman in her– what you can only imagine to be late teens, early twenties physically, but her eyes carry the wisdom that only years of trauma and survival can hold. Her dark brunette hair with a single shock of white that kind of curls to the back. Walks in, consciousness– as much as you could expect from a girl that early in the morning. Has her hands kinda clasped at her chest. “Well, um, back so soon, are we?”

MARISHA: Is it soon? It feels like we’ve been– at least two weeks. (sighing)

(laughing)

LIAM: More like five.

MARISHA: That’s true. Like a holiday break happened.

LAURA: Thordak is dead.

MATT: “Then it is done, I’m proud of you all.”

LAURA: It’s not done.

LIAM: It’s not done.

TALIESIN: But it’s a victory. We’ve had a good day.

MARISHA: We’re not dead.

MATT: “I can see that, and I’m quite thankful. Um, your friend, I don’t believe I’ve had the honor.”

MARISHA: Oh yeah, this is Ker.

PATRICK: Am I still like– do I look like Brian Blessed who’s just been through, like, a bloody fucking massacre? Am I still like–

MATT: All of you do. All of you right now are just wrecked.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: Like still, still shiny from like oils and sweat. There’s still like smeared ash and–

PATRICK: It’s probably not until right then where I’m like, I am, I am a fucking mess. I’m like up to elbows bloody, yeah.

TALIESIN: You fit right in here.

PATRICK: Yeah, okay.

MATT: “I’ve not had the pleasure.”

PATRICK: Ker, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

LAURA: How did you know we were here, Cassandra?

MATT: “The guards went and summoned me. To be perfectly honest, I don’t usually rouse so early in the morning, but this is good news. And to be perfectly honest, the last few times the guards have summoned me with your arrival, they’ve been with a bit of a scare. So, um, it’s an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ker, you are welcome here. Any friends of my friends are a friend of mine.”

LAURA: Can we roll an insight check to see if it’s really her?

LIAM: Sure.

MATT: Sure, roll an insight check.

LAURA: I don’t trust anybody now.

TRAVIS: Me too, it was my idea.

LIAM: You’ve burned us too many times, Matt.

LAURA: Twenty-five.

LIAM: She’s a beholder.

TRAVIS: Four.

(laughing)

LAURA: This is just a ruse.

SAM: Secrets!

LAURA: It’s not gonna be Raishan.

(laughing)

Go team.

MATT: Suddenly suffers how much psychic damage?

SAM: Vex.

LAURA: Huh? Do you think this would be my reaction if it was Raishan?

(laughing)

MATT: “Well, rest.”

TALIESIN: Have a bit a of drink, we’re going to rest, and then–

MATT: “Well, you know where we keep the wine.”

LAURA: ♪ Bloody Marys ♪ ♪ Mimosas ♪♪

MATT: “Are we expecting more or is it just you?”

TALIESIN: Did Vex just do that?

SAM: It’s just us for now. I think–

TRAVIS: It’s just us, yeah.

SAM: They never gave our airship any instructions. I guess it’s just roaming the countryside.

TRAVIS: It’s just us this time, I know we usually have a lot in tow–

SAM: Oh, and we don’t need to– well, do we need to keep the force field up around the city anymore?

TALIESIN: No, everything’s– we can stand down at this point. It’s time for everything to rest briefly.

LAURA: We need to wake Allura.

TALIESIN: We do need to wake Allura.

MATT: “All right, I’ll have her roused. The rest of you, if you wish, I could have baths drawn. I think you could use it.”

TALIESIN: What are you trying to imply?

MATT: “Brother.”

TALIESIN: I know, I know, you owe me–I owe one.

LIAM: You don’t like Dragon Age splatter?

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Paintbrush of gore.

MATT: “I mean no disrespect, but as a lady of esteemed blood, you are all a terrible mess.”

TALIESIN: I am going to walk right up to her, give her a big hug.

MATT: “No, no, no, no!” And for a second, for a second you see a glimmer of the young sister that grew up with Percy fighting him off, and she pushes him off. (laughing) “Thank you.”

TALIESIN: I am going to be owed for much more than that, I’m well aware.

MATT: “Yes, yes, you are. I’m glad you’re back.”

TALIESIN: It’s good to be home.

MATT: “All right, I’ll have Allura brought to you. Rest well, should you require anything, I’ll be in my chambers waking properly.” She leaves the room. Though you had brought little scraps of food as they were available, a full breakfast meal is properly prepared for you, warm food.

LAURA: This is post bath and we’re clean?

MATT: Yeah, you guys take time just being cleaned properly.

TALIESIN: We’re spying, we’re spying.

MARISHA: My hair is still singed short again.

SAM: Before we part ways with Jarrett, I’d like to pull him aside a little bit.

MATT: As you pull Jarrett aside, you get but a few steps away and he goes, “I’m not doing it again.”

SAM: I know, I know. I just wanted to thank you for your efforts, and, you know, it really meant a lot to me, and I’m gonna cast an eighth level modify memory on you.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: What?

TRAVIS: I love him so much.

MARISHA: You still have an eighth level spell?

(laughing)

LAURA: You have an eighth level spell left?

SAM: Yeah.

(crosstalk)

MATT: Okay, okay.

LAURA: I don’t even feel bad that he died now.

MATT: Is this through the hand cone, because that’s a whole– that’s not subtle.

SAM: No, it would not be subtle, so I cannot do the hand cone.

MATT: That’s okay, he rolled a five. So, what are you modifying?

SAM: When he delivered the suude to me, I thanked him for it and I went into a– I’m implanting this memory in his head. I told him why I needed it so badly, and it was a very sad tale of how a goblin killed my mother and the image haunts me to this day and I can’t get through a night– I can’t function without some sort of sustenance. He felt terrible for me and vowed to get me more, much more. (laughing) And at that time, I gave him 50 platinum.

TRAVIS: Holy shit, you’re turning into a drug lord.

SAM: Which he finds in his pocket now, because I gave it to him.

TALIESIN: We have met the enemy, oh my god.

MARISHA: You’re going full Heisenberg.

SAM: And he feels for me.

TRAVIS: He is Heisenberg.

TALIESIN: He is the one that knocks.

(laughing) (crosstalk)

SAM: I broke down and he’s never seen me break down like that.

MATT: No, he hasn’t.

SAM: In his mind anyway.

MATT: He hasn’t, and–

TALIESIN: Wow!

TRAVIS: Outstanding.

TALIESIN: I can’t–what?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That’s that.

MATT: All right, and at which point you watch as his eyes kind of glaze over for a moment. He was about to make his way towards getting his own shower. He let everybody else go first, and he kinda stops for a second and his eyes glaze over, and he kinda blinks for a second. “Well, I understand these have been very trying days. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

SAM: You know how to help.

(laughing)

MATT: And you see the look in his eyes that you’ve seen before, which is the, I don’t do this, I barely know how to do this, and the connections I have, it’s, it’s gonna be hard. And you see this look, but as opposed–where previously it was, I can’t do this anymore. He goes–he reaches up, touches your shoulder and goes, “I’ll do what I can.”

SAM: That’s all I ask.

LIAM: Yeah, Mr. Shorthalt, yeah.

TRAVIS: Meat man coming.

MARISHA: What the fuck?

SAM: Rest well, Jarrett, thank you for your brave battle.

MARISHA: Oh my god, oh my god.

MATT: “Just so you know, I’m expecting a raise, 'cause, uh, I kinda almost died like twice. It’s ridiculous.”

SAM: You should’ve seen me. I did.

MATT: “I’ll see what I can do.” Then he goes and leaves to take a bath.

LIAM: We were all taking baths, right? And they’re like big royal baths 'cause this is Whitestone?

MATT: Yeah, there’s maybe four at any given point in time. So you guys still have to kinda take turns.

LIAM: Excellent, I take mine very quickly, and walk in the buck, and I find Percival’s bath, and silently walk in while he’s bathing, and I sit in the bath on the other side, and just stare for a minute.

TALIESIN: You know you’re getting weirder.

(laughing)

LIAM: Um… You and I are very different.

TALIESIN: I would agree, although, again, I’m in a bath at the moment… Cut to it, I think, I was really working on something.

(laughing)

LIAM: I didn’t think you were, uh, so meek. Umm… Anyway, I still plan to honor your request, but, um… I want you to know… that you are like a brother to me. Now I have a sister, and we fight constantly, so I expect to do that with you.

TALIESIN: I’d hope so.

LIAM: I’m glad I have you around still.

TALIESIN: Me as well, I– I like this family, I’d like to keep it.

LIAM: Don’t say another word. I show him my ass and I leave.

LAURA: As soon as he leaves, I come up from the water and go, Ugh! (laughing) I thought he’d never leave!

TRAVIS: Amazing! Amazing!

TALIESIN: I was so hoping you were gonna do that.

MARISHA: How big are these fucking bathtubs!

TALIESIN: They’re big bathtubs!

LIAM: That is so gross! That was like a minute long!

TALIESIN: I love you, that was wonderful.

LIAM: So gross!

(laughing continues)

Oh, my– My opinion of you has changed!

LAURA: You don’t know! You don’t know, you’re gone!

TALIESIN: She was just tickling on the back of my knee the entire time.

LIAM: I’m not talking about Vex! Vex can pork him all she wants, I don’t give a fuck! That is a twisted D&D choice, man!

MATT: That is– that is an amazing D&D choice.

LIAM: That is crazier– that shit is crazier than the broom to me, Laura. Holy shit. Boosh! Hit me up top!

MATT: Hey, Laura–

TRAVIS: I’m working on something here, cut to the chase.

MARISHA: I’m working on something.

SAM: We gotta speed this up!

(laughing)

MATT: In hindsight, that changes everything. Wow.

LIAM: Yes, yes and!

(laughing)

MARISHA: Is that where those water-breathing potions have gone to?

TALIESIN: Literally– we are actually bathing in them, ironically. In the water flow.

MATT: It’s like The Abyss.

(laughing)

LIAM: Percy, what is that really cheesy music that’s playing in here?

MATT: All right, so… unless you have any more particular bath-based shenanigans to encounter…

TALIESIN: I will leave that to peoples’ imaginations.

LIAM: I need a shower with lye, man!

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MATT: …and that might work better.

TALIESIN: …while that was happening. Let me remind you of that.

LIAM: It looks just like us.

PATRICK: I heard somebody has alter-memory spells, if you can hit me with that.

MATT: No, he only does it to people that don’t deserve it.

LIAM: Oh, man! I can barely remember those dragons right now.

MATT: So, after you’ve all come– finished bathing, come down to get your breakfast, and you’ve all kinda gathered around the table and there’s, you know, chatter, that sort of, the release after so many nerves built up even though there is still things to tackle, there is a moment of kinship and respite and, honestly, Ker, it’s a little strange for you at first. You– such jovial atmosphere in the face of such… you know, recent tragedy and trauma reminds you of back when you used to do this. And it’s weirdly welcome. You know, it’s very humanizing, and there’s a brotherhood that comes after battle that you can only describe if you’ve been there. And it’s been a while since you’ve had this type of brotherhood. And even though you’re quiet amongst their chatter, and they are a family that you’re outside of, you can’t fight the smile.

PATRICK: Oh, no, it’s– this is– and actually it’s, you know, it’s very nice to watch like, you know– It did not stay like this for me, and it’s obviously staying like this for them. And so, yeah, I’m very happy. And honestly, if there is liquor here, I probably do not stay very quiet for long.

(laughing)

LAURA: So much liquor.

MATT: Breakfast wine!

TALIESIN: One of my Brit friends– actually, were you at that breakfast at Comic Con where we went to the pub and he said, Do you have any breakfast beer? What do you have on the breakfast beer menu?

TRAVIS: Yeah, if Ker is with the liquor and not being quiet, I’m probably with him.

MATT: All right, well, you watch as Ker comes back with two bottles after being given directions as to where the… (bottle pops) Just like that.

(laughing)

A bottle in each hand, and each of you grab a bottle, and kinda toast the bottle itself. You’re gonna drink. Is there anything you guys wanna discuss while you’re having breakfast?

TRAVIS: We’re not worried about the spinning dirt button of death, right? It’s fine down there, like it’s–

TALIESIN: I think it’s on the list, but we have a list, we can slow down a bit.

SAM: What is our list, 'cause, I mean– so here’s what I got on my list. It’s not very long. Bury a hand in Vasselheim.

LAURA: No, bury ashes in Vasselheim.

SAM: Oh, what was the hand?

LAURA: The hand was return the hand.

SAM: Oh, return the hand to Marquet.

MARISHA: Marquet, yeah.

SAM: Return hand… Marquet.

PATRICK: An actual hand. I don’t need to know, I just wanted to see if I was doing it right.

SAM: Bury ashes in Vasselheim. Find Opash, go to–

TALIESIN: Island of Opash.

SAM: Go to Wildemount.

LAURA: Both, yes.

SAM: Is that the same thing?

LAURA: No.

SAM: Well, what–which one do we do?

LAURA: Well, Vasselheim is– is Vasselheim north– close to Wildemount?

TALIESIN:Nothing is north–

MATT: No, opposite side.

LAURA: Oh, well, shit.

MATT: Vasselheim’s to the northwest. Wildemount is the east– northeast of Tal'Dorei.

TRAVIS: We may find more about Opash in Wildemount.

LAURA: Zahra’s from Wildemount.

MATT: Uhh.

TRAVIS: Is she?

LAURA: Originally, I think.

MATT: Maybe–you’d have to check with Zahra.

LAURA: I think she is– when she told me her history, I think it was.

MATT: Sure, there we go.

TRAVIS: What else is on your list?

SAM: Uh–

LAURA: Ooh, and the boys! The boys.

SAM: Oh, the little boys!

LAURA: Yeah, the little angel babies, they’re from Wildemount.

SAM: Where are they– where did we leave them?

LAURA: They’re here.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: Where did we leave them?

TALIESIN: On the side of the road.

SAM: Any other to-do list items?

TALIESIN: We have a demon.

LAURA: Oh, God, we have Hotis, and the other demon that we fought in the City of Brass.

LIAM: We’ve got time on that– how long has it been Hotis-wise?

MATT: Hotis-wise, it’s been a few weeks.

LIAM: We’ve got time.

SAM: Is there another one?

TALIESIN: No.

LAURA: The ambassador to the Nine Hells was in the City of Brass, and we killed him, and he’s gonna hate us.

SAM: Wait, he can come back?

LAURA: I think so!

TRAVIS: Hotis, oh, yeah.

SAM: Well, we can’t do anything about that.

MATT: Make an arcana check, Sam.

SAM: Uh, more than 20–23.

MATT: Twenty-three. Umm, best that you know, as far as like hierarchies and devils in that plane, a devil as high-ranking as the one that you guys fought that got its ass handed to it by a bunch of random people in the City of Brass is considered such a slight in the eyes of the hierarchy of the Nine Hells, that devil probably has been punished stripped of its power, and is not something you probably need to worry about.

LAURA: Oh, shit!

(cross talk)

Nice!

TALIESIN: He does not get to come back next week.

SAM: We’ve done something on our to-do list.

TALIESIN: I have a bit of… I have a bit of work to do around the house, so to speak. There’s a few matters that have to be tended to here that we should at least get up and started, but…

MARISHA: I mean, I feel like…

TALIESIN: …nothing’s urgent.

MARISHA: I feel like the giant green dragon in the room is pretty urgent.

TALIESIN: It’s the top of the list, but it’s not something that’s going to be solved tomorrow. It’s not something that’s necessarily going to bite us tomorrow. I think it’s going to bite us, honestly– if we left it alone, I think we would be reaping the damage of it in six months.

MATT: “Preferably no biting at all.” As you look, you see at the table, her hair kinda pulled up into these small circles at the bottom of her head– you see Allura, um, with just kinda like a nightrobe on.

LAURA: She has fun buns.

MATT: She steps in… you see a woman standing with blondish, light hair that’s been braided into long braids and then curled up into these small little balls underneath with like a dark blue– almost shimmering materials are her robe. She steps in a sits down across from you guys at the other end of the table and begins taking them out and begins kind of rebraiding them. “I’m very happy to see that you’re all safe. From what I’ve also been told, that there is no need to maintain the illusory barrier over Whitestone, which is of great relief to me as that’s been draining. I have also heard that Thordak has fallen, so congratulations are in order.”

SAM: We also found you a replacement flying carpet.

(laughing)

If you’d like it.

LAURA: Scanlan, you’re on my list.

SAM: Although we could use it in our battles to come.

MATT: “I’ll tell you what– when I have my tower rebuilt, then perhaps we’ll find the right place for it where it matches the rest of the furniture. Until then, hold onto it.”

SAM: It’s really a tacky color, though.

MATT: “I can change that.”

LIAM: We won’t let it come anywhere near acid at all.

MATT: “Please, I would appreciate that. In fact, any of my things that you may’ve stolen or taken over the past few years, keep them away from acid in general, thank you.”

LAURA: Really the rug was the only thing.

TRAVIS: I took a couple pictures while I was in that…

(whistling and laughing)

MARISHA: Um… Raishan is still at large, and we have discovered that we think she is on the island of Opash.

TALIESIN: The island that Opash was banished to, that is.

LIAM: Dude what’s name was Opash had an island.

LAURA: Do you know anything of him?

MATT: She thinks for a second.

TALIESIN: They will probably be in … we’ll check.

MATT: “Do you remember the name of the island that apparently Thordak was ruling over when he was thought lost at sea?”

LAURA: Do you?

SAM: Notes–there’s some notes to go through.

MARISHA: When did you tell us that information?

MATT: “Uh, this was information that Raishan gave you.”

LAURA: Right!

(cross talk)

…200 years ago.

TALIESIN: Just think if we had some device that would make it searchable…

LAURA: Could I– would I remember this? 'Cause this was remembering information based on a dragon.

MATT: I would say yes for you.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Well lawyered.

(laughing)

LIAM: Because you are so de-stressed right now, your mind is so focused.

LAURA: It’s so clear.

MATT: Yes, there was something– after Thordak was long thought dead, Thordak seemingly reemerged after spending a few– as far as you know– years, decades, centuries, possibly, rebuilding his domain on what was called the island of Viscon.

MARISHA: Of Viscon?

MATT: Viscon in the south of the Lucidian Ocean.

MARISHA: Lucidian Ocean.

MATT: And so as you say– as it comes to your mind, you’re like–You say Viscon? Allura goes, “Viscon. Now, I know this island is– it was part of our research when Thordak first began to attack and assail the seven regions of Tal'Dorei back when, you know, me and Kima were adventuring. Um…I don’t know much about this Opash figure you speak of.”

LAURA: Did you find a laboratory on the island? An abandoned one?

MATT: “We did not go to the actual island, we just had to discover that was the– the historical creep of Thordak’s domain.”

LAURA: Right.

MATT: “It was fiercely guarded, and at the time, our focus was more to banish the creature as opposed to trying to walk into the center of its home, and none of us would be alive. That would be a place to look.”

LAURA: Thank you.

PATRICK: Um, from the religion angle, do I know anything about Opash? Like necromancer working against the natural order?

MATT: Role a religion check.

TALIESIN: It’s in Tolkien’s Spirit Guide.

PATRICK: Yeah. Uhh, 17.

MATT: Seventeen. I mean, you’ve– you’ve come across a modicum of necromancy in your years– your younger years, at least. Usually, low level, employed by various tribal sages and wandering, marauding hordes of orcs or knolls that were, you know, given positions of power within their small cultures, because they had begun to harness some of the powers of life and death, but nothing that really left a lasting impression. There was one tomb that you excavated that it was beyond the southern lands of the Stormcrest Mountains. It was in the Rifenmist Peninsula, which is the thick jungles that exist on the southern peninsula of Tal'Dorei, below the countryside, below the actual political structure. It’s a free land, it is beyond the rule of Tal'Dorei or Syngorn, and it is where refugees flee from society. It’s where folks that want to live beyond the law go and build their own place, but south of that into the jungle, there are many lost and ancient places that were either forgotten intentionally, or buried through time as the founding to the age of Arcanum in these eons past and past. There is one tomb that you went to that was steeped in heavy necromancy and even just a short journey in, you lost two friends, watching the life sucked from their corpses, left behind just these dust-skinned skeletal memories, and you fled– you and the remaining members of your team. Since then, you’ve been keenly aware of the awful effects of necromancy, and it honestly scares you, and so the more this discussion continues, the more and more just uneasy you become with the discussion. Um, as far as the essence of what Opash may have in store, uh, you’re not particularly sure, but, um, I mean, the domain of necromancy is life and death. Um, and that central theme keeps reemerging with Thordak, with Raishan, with whatever this dynamic is, there’s something about life and death that is cyclical in this conversation that keeps you connected.

PATRICK: Was that island that you mentioned volcamic?

LAURA: The island of Viscon?

PATRICK: Volcanic.

MATT: You should slow down on the breakfast wine, friend.

PATRICK: Kerrek is pronouncing very deliberately at this point.

(laughing)

MATT: “The island of Viscon– it would be in a zone that does see quite a bit of activity of that kind. There are a number of places in the ocean that are known to just perpetually spire forth sulfur and other terrible fumes.”

TALIESIN: I wonder if a red dragon had been living there.

MATT: “Long before he came.”

TALIESIN: He would’ve certainly encouraged it, though.

MATT: “I’m–I don’t doubt that. There is something to be said for that, so–”

SAM: More Lava, Keyleth.

MARISHA: My favorite.

TALIESIN: One day we’re going to meet a lava door.

TRAVIS: Don’t you put that evil on us. Don’t even put it out there.

LIAM: Matt hadn’t even thought of that!

TALIESIN: Three times, you say it three times.

SAM: Door made of lava.

MATT: “If you do decide to inquire, this island of Viscon, carefully, slowly, methodically, whether or not this has a tie or this is specifically where the deceiver lives at the moment, who knows how long they’ll stay. You say she’s seeking something there?”

LAURA: That’s what Keyleth said it seemed like.

MARISHA: She seemed to be poring through tomes and books looking for something. She seemed very frustrated. Question–oh, go ahead.

MATT: “Let’s just say, what happens if she finds what she’s looking for?”

MARISHA: Exactly.

PATRICK: Oh, she brings the dragon back from the dead.

TALIESIN: Or transfers her consciousness into the dragon’s body, reanimates an undead red dragon.

LAURA: I don’t know what necromancy is capable of.

TALIESIN: …create some unholy monster.

PATRICK: You…

SAM: There’s also dragon babies.

PATRICK: …put into the– into the eggs…

LAURA: Hey, K, you remember when I said you were really smart?

(laughing)

SAM: He makes wagon hitches, all right? Listen!

LIAM: I like this guy.

SAM: He’s a simple man! He’s a great wagon hitch maker.

PATRICK: Well, I mean, why do you take a body? I mean, well, and you’re all like, “Well, I died Tuesday, I died Thursday!” Like, and then you killed– how bad did you kill the dragon? Because if you didn’t kill it real bad–

LAURA: It could be brought back.

PATRICK: Like Tuesday, right?

LAURA: At least the gem was shattered– the gem was shattered.

MATT: “It was?”

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: “You destroyed the Soul Anchor?”

LAURA: Yeah, and Thordak shrunk! He was huge, and then he was like normal after that.

MATT: “Well, that’s something at least.”

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s something.

SAM: I don’t think that she’s trying to reanimate Thordak. I think she’s trying to probe him for knowledge of some sort.

TRAVIS: Probe.

TALIESIN: I think she’s attempting–

SAM: She’s trying to probe his dead body.

TRAVIS: Probe.

MARISHA: Allura, if we scried on this island, if you saw it again, would you recognize it?

MATT: “I’m–I haven’t been there, but if I were to scry…”

MARISHA: Oh, I thought you said…

MATT: “…what would you require– what would you need?”

MARISHA: I wanna confirm if she actually is on the island of Viscar– Viscon.

MATT: “Well, I mean, I can attempt to. I’ve only heard of it, so…”

SAM: Do you–what if we– would it help you to scry if we gave you some blood of the thing that we’re scrying on?

LAURA: Thordak?

MARISHA: But she would still see the same thing that I would– that I would’ve seen. It wouldn’t confirm the island.

LAURA: Oh, right.

TALIESIN: It also might mean that we would be discovered.

SAM: Keyleth, don’t you have some spell where you say the name of a place and it shows you the way there or something?

LIAM: Well, can you look for trees on that island?

MARISHA: I could try and scry… on Viscar– Viscon. Right? If I know enough about Viscon, I could try and scry on a location, correct?

SAM: No, you can only scry on a person.

MATT: Yup, you can scry on a location. That was my fault in the past, by the way. I completely– I– very into the spell.

SAM: But no, don’t you have like a directions spell?

MARISHA: Find the path, yeah.

SAM: What does that do?

MATT: Yeah, if you have secondhand knowledge, and you’ve heard of the target, you can still scry to it, it just has a modifier– if it’s a target. If it’s a location, um…

LAURA: But, 'cause I–will it– I mean, we lucked out the first time that she didn’t catch on. What if she realizes?

MARISHA: If I scry on the island, she won’t notice.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: It’s only if I scry on her.

SAM: …you’re looking at some leaves and trees.

TALIESIN: But we’ll get an idea of where to go.

MARISHA: I could look–

LIAM: You saw it once already, and you would know it– you’d probably recognize it a second time.

MARISHA: Would I?

TRAVIS: Would you?

LIAM: It’s worth a fucking shot.

MARISHA: If I–if I scried on Viscon, could I recognize, yeah, this looks like the similar island?

MATT: You could try, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, you could certainly try.

MATT: You can certainly try. Thank you, Laura. I needed a little goose.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: Needed a little …

MARISHA: Last fifth-level spell of the day.

(cross talk)

LAURA: Ker, you should try this wine that Grog got from–

TRAVIS: Yes!

MARISHA: You should try it!

TRAVIS: Oh, it’s really good!

MARISHA: It’s so tasty!

TRAVIS: …sand dunes of terribleness.

LIAM: I mean, you don’t want to– I haven’t tried it either. You don’t want to finish your life without trying this bug juice. It’s the nickname we have for it.

TRAVIS: I pop the top, and I hand the bottle to him.

LAURA: Just small– small amounts.

TRAVIS: What is it, sand keg, sand…

LIAM: Bug juice.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that stuff.

(cross talk)

LIAM: I take the bottle, and I put my thumb over it and pretend like I’m drinking– go–

MATT: Sleight-of-hand.

LIAM: That’s great, sure. Sure, sure, sure. That is a 26.

MATT: For the hell of it, Kerrek, go ahead and roll– roll a perception check.

PATRICK: Uh, no, not by– not by a country mile.

MATT: He took a mighty swig.

PATRICK: Yeah, well, it’s–

LAURA: Don’t take a swig that big.

PATRICK: It’s that good?

LIAM: It’s smooth.

TRAVIS: It has really got some balls on it.

LIAM: It goes down smooth.

PATRICK: You gotta shake the flavor in.

(laughing)

'Cause the flavor goes slowly to the bottom.

LAURA: Oh, God, oh, no.

PATRICK: It’s 'cause of the gravity.

LAURA: What if he realized something we didn’t?

MARISHA: See, I told you see was wise.

LIAM: I wish it could be my first time again.

MATT: So as the liquid hits your lips, it’s thick. It’s like…

(laughing)

PATRICK: Too much flavor.

MATT: It doesn’t pour like wine or liquor, it pours more like a– like a light honey. But it has a very acrid, um… pungent, immediate flavor as it hits your tongue. I need you to roll a constitution saving throw.

PATRICK: So is this like when I left that glass of Surge out for so long that it evaporated in the cup down?

TRAVIS: Just, like, …

MATT: Kind of, yeah.

PATRICK: And then because there was no mold growing on it, and I am a scientist at heart…

TRAVIS: It’s all clear.

TALIESIN: You went where mold feared to tread.

PATRICK: I, uh–I thought, when will I ever have this opportunity again?

MATT: When the most basic forms of life eschew existing on a substance, that’s when you have to drink it.

TRAVIS: Agreed.

TALIESIN: Yes, yes!

PATRICK: That’s gonna be my best role all year.

MATT: So–so–

LIAM: Wait, can I point out that this is the best game in existence?

(laughing)

MATT: You may. As it fills your gullet, the warm, burning sensation you’re used to with fine, heavy liquors is surpassed by the ever-burning sensation of fire within your lungs, and as the heartburn begins to kick in, you stop for a second and realize that the burn goes away and everything goes numb. Everything goes numb. Your tongue…your jaw…

LAURA: How do you feel, Ker?

(indistinct speech) (laughing)

LIAM: One more time?

SAM: Beard got in the way.

(indistinct speech) (laughing)

LAURA: He likes it– I think he likes it.

LIAM: I would’ve thought that as well.

TALIESIN: Ladies and gentlemen, Burning Man, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Burning Man.

TRAVIS: That is good shit.

MARISHA: The fire has passed through you.

(laughing)

It’s gonna go all the way through you. So be careful when it comes out the other end.

LIAM: Good reincorporation!

(laughing)

TALIESIN: I remember this.

LAURA: But you’re still conscious, and that is saying something.

TRAVIS: Really impressive.

LAURA: I wouldn’t drink any more of it, though.

TRAVIS: No, no, no, yeah, you gotta warm up and then take another one.

LIAM: No, no, no, I mean, that’s all fun and games, but come on.

MATT: As this is happening, you all look over and glance that, as Allura has cleared the table and begun to set a space for the scry ritual, is just staring at you all.

LAURA: Oh, shit, right.

MARISHA: Thanks for setting this up for us, Allura.

MATT: “Oh, please, keep going.”

TRAVIS: We didn’t mean to be rude.

MATT: “This is the most fun I’ve had in days.”

TRAVIS: Do you want some?

TALIESIN: After!

(yelling)

LIAM: No, that’s a bad idea, don’t do it!

TRAVIS: Do it.

SAM: She needs to do the spell!

LIAM: Do it later– that shit’s fucked up.

TRAVIS: Don’t listen to him.

MARISHA: Wait, I thought I was doing the spell. We could do it together.

TRAVIS: We’re trustworthy. Open the bottle. Down the hatch.

MATT: She pops it off, and goes, “Look, it’s morning, we’re all alive. What’s the point if we’re not celebrating?”

TRAVIS: That’s what I’m saying!

LIAM: That will turn your blonde hair green!

TALIESIN: No!

MATT: Ah. “Not my favorite flavor.”

(gasping)

LIAM: She’s got magic.

SAM: She’s so strong!

LAURA: Constitutions for days!

LIAM: She’s so cool.

TRAVIS: Will you teach me your sorcerous ways?

LAURA: Keep talking, keep talking.

TRAVIS: How do you feel?

MATT: “I feel fine.”

TRAVIS: I don’t– I don’t know what to say.

LIAM: Fucking magic.

SAM: She’s amazing.

MARISHA: You’re awesome.

LIAM: Can you say red leather, yellow leather? What about–

(laughing)

What about– try saying three times in a row can you say Irish wristwatch?

(laughing)

PATRICK: Three times in a row.

LIAM: This is to Ker or Patrick– Irish wristwatch as fast as you can three times in a row. I have faith in you.

PATRICK: Irish wr–

(laughing)

Irish wr–

Irish wish–

LIAM: You know, thank you for playing. That was a valiant effort. Hey, let’s scry on a dragon!

MATT: “All right.”

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Were you in a motorcycle gang? How did she do that?

LIAM: Warrior!

SAM: She’s immune to alcohol.

MATT: She sits across the table from you and puts her hands out.

SAM: Oh, yeah, let’s do this.

MARISHA: Oh, man, it just feels like old days, Allura!

MATT: “That it does–simpler times.”

MARISHA: Yes, it was.

MATT: As you both close your eyes and you all watch as Allura and Keyleth close their eyes. A moment passes, a second moment, and across the smooth, polished wood table surface of which you’ve been having breakfast, you watch as the grain begins to shift. Almost these small lines of light blue and white sparkling, tiny arcane ley lines begin to just curl a circle around the table. In the center, their arms are clenched. You watch as it carves two circles– one smaller one within the other– and then begin to form these various, rigid, star-like patterns within, and as soon as the two points eventually connect in the center, there’s a flash, and both Keyleth and Allura open their eyes, but there is no pupil, there is no iris, it is just white.

TRAVIS: Creepy.

PATRICK: Fuck.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: That was the most Brian Blessed fuck I’ve ever… It was amazing.

(laughter continues)

MATT: The two of you share a vision– a vision of water, a vision of endless ocean– a familiar vision of endless ocean. You see small pillars of steam rising out of the center of this expanse, clusters of them in places, occasionally a few rocks breaking the surface, and beyond that, you see an island isolated out in the ocean, covered with green. You see a large mountain set across one side as your vision flashes inward to an overhead view, you see a familiar island.

SAM: ♪ And the line where the sea meets the sky ♪ ♪ It’s blinding ♪♪

(laughing)

MATT: The vision fades, you both return, the circular glyphs on the table kind of sparkle out leaving the smooth surface untouched. Both of their eyes clarify, their irises and pupils returning, and they both take a simultaneous breath, and then release each other’s hands.

MARISHA: Holy shit.

LAURA: So yeah?

MARISHA: Yeah. We know where she is.

(gasping)

It’s the island.

LAURA: Do we know how to get to the island?

MARISHA: I can tree stride us there. I saw a tree– did I see a tree big enough?

MATT: There were a number of trees.

LAURA: Oh, geez!

SAM: Palm trees?

LAURA: Oh, my God, we need to rest and get there.

MARISHA: We need to rest and get there.

LIAM: We need to go the fuck to bed.

PATRICK: Let’s go right now!

(cross talk)

That was a joke.

(laughing)

LAURA: Shit, we need to rest!

MARISHA: Oh, my God, yeah.

LAURA: And go!

MARISHA: We need to rest and go.

LIAM: We should go right away. What a to-do to die today at a minute or two 'til two.

SAM: Trippingly off the tongue.

MATT: “You get two options.”

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: “And I defer to your judgment on this. You rest and prepare, that leaves her to rest and prepare.”

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: “You don’t rest, she doesn’t rest. The choice is yours as to which you think leaves you in the more advantageous position.

MARISHA: I–I–I cannot… get us there.

LAURA: We need to rest.

LIAM: Can you get us there?

MATT: “I’ve unfortunately already used my spell to get you to…”

LIAM: But you’re say– I understand what you’re saying. She’s got nothing–

MATT: She stops and goes, “I’ve seen it, actually, with the vision. And I did rest– I do– I could. I could get you there.”

SAM: To what end?

MATT: “The choice is yours.”

SAM: I have nothing.

LIAM: But Scanlan, pluses and minuses. She has nothing.

SAM: I can’t die, Vax. I’ve already died once today, I can’t do it again.

LAURA: We don’t have any healing. If anybody dies, we can’t come back.

TRAVIS: I’ve got two healing potions.

MARISHA: Okay, all right.

(humming)

Is there a way, do you know, where we can maybe, like, restore ourselves faster?

(laughing)

MATT: “I wouldn’t recommend that.”

TRAVIS: Oh?

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: “But nevertheleth…”

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Amazing.

PATRICK: Say, Irish wr–wr–

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Hard, isn’t it?

MATT: She goes back to braiding her hair.

(laughing)

MARISHA: What is the minimum amount of time we could sleep?

MATT: Eight hours.

(grumbling)

TRAVIS: Let’s do it, let’s sleep.

LIAM: So if we rest, she gets her meteors, she gets her everything.

LAURA: She gets it all back.

SAM: And she could leave.

LIAM: She’s gonna rest, too, to get all her shit back. If we go now, having had a breather with this drunk guy…

LAURA: No!

LIAM: I’m not saying what we do. You can decide what we do because you’re the smart one, but I’m just talking it out. She– it would be a physical fight with none of her magic.

TALIESIN: If we had– if we had a dragon with us, I’d say yes.

LIAM: You two brainiacs can make the decision, but she’s got no meteors, she’s got a lot less.

LAURA: Look, we took on Thordak with full health, and we made it out pretty well.

MARISHA: I mean, once again, unless we do this– unless we get to the island, try and scout out– find Raishan… …island, that way if she moves… we won’t let her leave? What Grog, what?

SAM: I can’t camp on the island, I don’t have the mansion.

MARISHA: We can camp like we did old school style.

TALIESIN: She would know that we were there–

LAURA: Wait a minute, you said you had it left.

TALIESIN: And if we go there…

LAURA: Scanlan, you said you still had the spell left so we could–

MARISHA: No, he used it to change Jarrett’s mind, right?

MATT: Well, you don’t know that.

MARISHA: Well.

LAURA: Oh, well, shit.

SAM: I used it in the battle, fuck off.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: If– if we were to go right now, I would almost recommend that Scanlan and Keyleth stay behind because they would be nothing but targets.

TRAVIS: Ooh, how does that feel?

LIAM: Well, then, we won’t do that.

TALIESIN: Which is why we shouldn’t go, because if we go, it is… the four of us.

TRAVIS: Strangely, I agree with Percy.

TALIESIN: And if we wait a day? It’s six–it’s at least six, seven, eight of us– however many was can bring, but every magic user right now is–

LAURA: Tapped.

LIAM: Allura.

MATT: “Yes.”

LAURA: Except for her.

LIAM: I kinda wanted to bring you in the beginning. Are you willing to come with us?

MATT: “There’s no need for me to maintain the illutho– -the illusory barrier on the thity.”

PATRICK: Wristwatch.

(laughing)

MARISHA: You did it!

MATT: “That’s rather imprethive.”

MARISHA: Okay, well, look, if we wanted to go now, I still have my beast shaping back.

TALIESIN: That’s a bit…

MARISHA: I have one first-level spell, two third-level spells, and one fourth-level spell.

LAURA: Oh, my God.

SAM: That’s enough to kill a dragon.

LIAM: Do we have–here’s a question. Do we have some healing potions banked at Whitestone right now?

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: We took them all.

MATT: “To be perfectly honetht, we’ve given you everything we have.”

(laughing)

LAURA: Are there any–

MATT: “Don’t laugh at me, Vex'thahlia.”

LAURA: I’m not, darling, I’m not.

MARISHA: I haven’t used any of my health.

LAURA: Are there any steal– heal–(stammering) Are there any healers within the castle?

PATRICK: I am relatively fresh in terms of healing. I could heal some.

LAURA: Would you wanna go with us?

LIAM: Yes, but are you in Burbank next week, though?

(laughing)

SAM: Pike is out!

LAURA: Pike is done. She’s got two first-level spells left. That’s it.

SAM: I have one fifth and one fourth. No, two fourths.

LAURA: I think I’ve got two first-levels spells left, but that’s it.

TALIESIN: It’s–

TRAVIS: Let’s be honest. We’re not quite at our best, and it’s one diseased deceiver in a cave with another dead dragon that might or might not come back to life, and two baby little eggs. We rest, and then we give 'em hell!

PATRICK: The brass dragon, I feel, made a great point that if you let someone of that…

SAM: Power.

PATRICK: …power choose the rules of engagement…

LAURA: Right.

LIAM: That’s a good point, and Allura makes a good point.

TRAVIS: Plus she doesn’t know that we know where she is. She thinks she’s got all the time in the world.

SAM: You wanna go now?

TRAVIS: No, I wanna wait.

TALIESIN: Go tomorrow.

LAURA: I think we rest and we go tonight. We sleep eight hours, it’s only in the morning– we go as soon as we’re rested.

LIAM: She’s gonna have everything tomorrow.

MARISHA: Can we, like, do, like, six hours…

SAM: She won’t be expecting us at all.

MARISHA: …and chug some coffee?

MATT: Nope, need a full eight hour rest.

SAM: She won’t be expecting us at all. We’ll still have the element of surprise, she won’t have a lair to defend. She won’t have any other fire giants to protect her.

TALIESIN: There might be a lair.

TRAVIS: Maybe, but we are fucking tits against lairs, come on.

SAM: You have a dancing fucking sword.

LAURA: That’s right.

LIAM: Percy, what do you think?

TALIESIN: I think we– honestly, I think that we– I think if we go right now, we win, and at least one of us dies. And if we go tomorrow, we’re probably going to win, and probably most of us are going to survive.

PATRICK: Unless she is merely scrounging there.

TALIESIN: I think she might be scrounging, but I think if she’s scrounging, that’s a lot to look through. I think that she thinks she’s safe.

LAURA: Did it look like there was a lot of books there, Keyleth?

MATT: There were quite a number. Probably 100 at the very least.

SAM: We don’t even know what she is. Didn’t you see a woman?

LIAM: But that was her.

MARISHA: That’s Raishan in her female form.

LIAM: So she can look at books so she doesn’t fucking mangle them.

TRAVIS: Keyleth, are you worried if we wait, you’re going to lose the chance to kill Raishan?

MARISHA: I don’t think we’re gonna lose the chance to kill Raishan, it’s just a matter of who’s killing who first.

TALIESIN: I say that we take eight hours’ sleep, and we go there immediately.

TRAVIS: She thinks she’s got cover, but she doesn’t.

TALIESIN: It will have only been ten hours at best by the time we get there.

MARISHA: Allura, since you know of the island, and we know where she is, is there any way where we can keep an eye on the island magically from afar? If Raishan moves, we know?

MATT: “I mean, I can incrementally scry on an island and keep an eye on the vicinity, but if I scry directly on Raishan–”

MARISHA: She could sense it.

TALIESIN: She’ll sense it.

MATT: “Well, there’s a chance.”

MARISHA: Yeah, let’s not do that.

TRAVIS: Don’t you wanna be at your best? Don’t you wanna be some fucking wicked badass from the sky? Or do you wanna limp in?

LAURA: Right?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Plus, if she’s got 100 books to go through, that’s gonna take more than two hours.

TALIESIN: She may not– it’s possible she may not even rest. She might just be so angry that she’s–

LAURA: She might not be fully rested by the time we get there.

TRAVIS: I know it feels like an advantage to press, but we were five down at one point.

LAURA: I can’t die again.

TRAVIS: You can, but it’s not advisable.

TALIESIN: Let’s not let that happen.

MARISHA: She has none of her legendary resistances right now.

TRAVIS: No, I’m not worried about those.

TALIESIN: She– we may interrupt her mid-slumber.

MARISHA: How long did it take when, um, we injured…was that Vorugal? Who retreated and started healing?

LIAM: Umbrasyl.

MARISHA: Umbrasyl.

TRAVIS: In his lair.

MARISHA: In his lair. Doing nothing but sleeping right?

MATT: Well, you came upon a number of empty potions– things that were part of Umbrasyl’s hoard.

LAURA: So Raishan might not have that.

TALIESIN: Or she might.

LIAM: But we’re gonna get– if we wait till tomorrow–

TALIESIN: Which, if she does have it, she’s already taken them.

LIAM: You all can decide, but if we go tomorrow, she’s fully stacked, she’s in her lair. If we go tonight– I’m just–

LAURA: I don’t wanna fucking go tonight. I don’t wanna go tonight. I don’t wanna die again.

TALIESIN: It’s the morning, we sleep through the day, we go tonight.

LIAM: Well then, there’s nothing to talk about.

TALIESIN: I think that’s the way to go.

TRAVIS: Agreed.

LAURA: We sleep, we go tonight.

TALIESIN: We sleep, we go tonight. She may spend all of today going through those books, and then sleep tonight.

TRAVIS: Keyleth, we know what we’re asking of you. We’re asking you to wait, again.

(chuckling)

MARISHA: I… I think in recent events, I can wait.

SAM: Then at dusk…

TRAVIS: We plan.

SAM: Yes.

(mixed remarks)

TRAVIS: It’s actually dawn–sorry.

MARISHA: How much do you… how much do you heal up overnight, generally?

MATT: At night, you get full points, and you get back half of your– half of your hit dice that were spent.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Make the call, Keyleth.

MARISHA: We’d better get sleeping, I guess.

LAURA: Let’s go to bed.

SAM: Instead of fighting, we’re going to sleep.

MARISHA: Well, what do you want, Scanlan?

TALIESIN: You can go.

MARISHA: You have been devil’s advocate this whole time– “I don’t wanna die again, but she could kill us!” What do you want, Scanlan?

SAM: I don’t wanna die.

LAURA: Then let’s sleep.

TALIESIN: Then sleep.

MARISHA: I don’t wanna die either, and I don’t wanna watch any of you die again.

TALIESIN: But if we go right now, you’re going to die.

LAURA: We need your spells to protect us– you’re clutch in a fight– and without them, you’re kind of just a– a dude.

TALIESIN: Who’s very good at becoming a target.

SAM: I’m so much more than a dude.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: One day you may be a bro.

SAM: Someday.

MATT: And on that note, you begin to put your things together, your plots, your preparations for getting to rest… Did you have something you wanna do?

LIAM: It feels like you’re going to wind down. Before we do that, if everyone’s going to bed… back in your room, I plunk down a bottle of whatever, and I take out Whisper– have a seat.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: I take Whisper, and I just start gently cutting away burnt edges of hair on your already shorter hair so that the ends are clean.

LAURA: Aww.

MARISHA: Do you like it shorter?

LIAM: I like you. And I see you doubting yourself. I see it, Kiki. I have no doubts in you. I’ve known you for a long time now… and I have seen the strength in you growing. And I’m a fan. You’re gonna make a great leader some day. MARISHA: I just feel like there’s so many people I could easily disappoint. I don’t want to.

LIAM: You are doing the very best you can with what you’ve been given, and I’ve seen you rise again and again and not stop and not back down. And you fucking blow me away with the things you can do out there. You are beautiful, and you are talented, and you are strong as fuck. And I can’t take the doubt away– I can’t do that. But mix in with that my faith in you… Percy’s faith in you… Grog’s faith in you… Ker’s… Vex'ahlia’s, Scanlan’s, Allura’s… all of ours. We are all behind you, and we all believe in you. And we all love you. And obviously, I love you.

MARISHA: I love you. You know… everyone comes from these backgrounds of having all these well-ventured and traveled pasts. You were the first people that I knew and met… so not only are you the longest, I don’t really have any other friends. You are my family. I’ll try not to let you down.

LIAM: I have no worries. Look at you. Don’t you look like royalty.

MARISHA: I’m not a princess, remember?

LIAM: That’s kinda what I like about you. (laughing) Would you do me a favor? Down the line, once all this is behind us… will you go back to the theater with me?

MARISHA: What is it with you and the theater? (laughing) Why?

LIAM: I don’t understand it either.

MARISHA: As long as you go back to Zephra with me, maybe?

LIAM: You don’t have to ask.

MARISHA: Does my hair look okay?

LIAM: Are you kidding me?

MARISHA: Does the short thing kinda work? Does it work with my bone structure? The antlers aren’t overpowering it, right? The length kind of balanced out this, you know?

SAM: Bangs!

MARISHA: Bangs.

LAURA: Don’t do it, don’t do it, you’ll regret it.

MARISHA: No bangs.

LIAM: I shut her up with a kiss.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: (stammering) I’m in my room… I am taking Vax’s letter and ripping it in half and burning it. And I’m packing my pipe for the morning.

(mixed remarks)

LAURA: This is for real, you guys.

LIAM: Wow.

MATT: Alrighty. Prepared and ready to go. You have your next dose of brown suude prepared.

MARISHA: I pass out from sheer exhaustion.

MATT: Okay.

PATRICK: I am noisily sick.

(laughing)

And honestly… it took every ounce of willpower I had to not do it in the middle of your scene. (laughing) I feel like I’ve really grown as a human being.

TALIESIN: I think we’ve all learned something tonight.

MATT: The whole time, just like slowly cut past the wall, and there’s Ker just going– holding it.

(groaning) (laughing)

LIAM: We’ve all been there.

LAURA: Before we go to bed, Allura, any chance you’d be able to join us? I know you didn’t get to come the last time.

MATT: “Oh, I’m there, don’t worry.”

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: “So, you all get your rest. I’m honored, really. I was proud of you all for going into that fray as you did. And you had many great compatriots at your side. I was a little jealous.”

LAURA: Kima did wonderfully.

MATT: “I’m sure she did.”

LAURA: I’m sure she’ll want to join us again.

MATT: “I’m sure she’ll continue to complain about things that fly. It’s never been her strong suit. But I’ll be there with you, do not worry. Rest well. I’ve had a full night’s sleep, I’m just gonna keep vigil and no longer drink things you procure from your bags without inquiring.”

MARISHA: And we all set our alarms for exactly eight hours.

LAURA: No sleeping in, and just go.

LIAM: Siri, wake me up before Raishan wakes.

(laughing)

SAM: (barking)

MATT: “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that, Vax'ildan!”

TRAVIS: That stupid dog alarm.

SAM: I love the dog alarm!

MATT: All right, so as you all find evening’s rest, we’ll go ahead and end tonight’s session there. (cheering) Preparing for whatever chaos the next endeavor unfurls.

LAURA: Oh, geez.

MARISHA: That was a good game.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Well done, guys, it’s fun.

MARISHA: Yay, Kerr-bear!

TRAVIS: Yeah, Patrick!

PATRICK: It’s such a treat– such a treat to be able to come back.

LIAM: Is there any chance you’ll be here next week?

PATRICK: Honestly, I was already trying to figure that out in my head. Like, it’s– I mean, I’ve flown places for dumber reasons.

(laughing)

You know, so I’ll maybe email with you a little bit to see how you feel about that.

MATT: Let me know, I mean, we’d love to have you.

LIAM: Get you in some combat!

LAURA: Yeah!

PATRICK: I will admit I’ve never–

LAURA: You had a pretty awesome hammer there!

PATRICK: I, uh–I have yet to actually take him for a test drive in that way, so…

LIAM: ♪ I’m just looking for one divine hammer ♪♪

(laughing)

Breeders– that’s The Breeder’s, man, that’s the '90s.

MATT: We’ll try and coordinate for that–hopefully it works out, 'cause that would be great. Otherwise, thank you guys for kicking ass. Uhh…it’s a great– it’s a great episode. Thank you guys for watching, thank you again for all your amazing support. We’re– we’re taking all the positivity we can force-feed into 2017. Um, but we love you guys. We’ll see you in a week, and is it Thursday yet? Take care, guys.

♪