Raishan (episode)/Transcript

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Welcome back, guys. I hope you enjoyed your– your holiday. Hope you enjoyed your new year and are ready to tackle all the chaos this year has coming. Both fists forward. So, missed you guys. Last we left off was a little crazy, but before we get to that circumstance, let’s go ahead and start with our announcements. Yay! (cheers) First and foremost, our first episode of the year is sponsored by us happy to be back. We have no sponsor tonight. (cheers)

MARISHA: Happiness!

MATT: So sponsored instead by viewers like you. So… Thank you. But, yeah, so other announcements we have. Me and Marisha will be running from this episode tonight to pack and leave at a super early, pre-dawn flight. Pretty much, or at dawn flight, to MAGFest. We’ll be there getting in later tomorrow, and be there this weekend. So, those of you who are going to MAGFest, we’ll see you there. We have–

LAURA: Is that what it is, just a lot of magazines?

MATT: Just a lot of magazines.

TALIESIN: People, US Weekly.

MARISHA: Oprah.

MATT: We pretty much got in there only because of the article in Game Informer. That’s the only reason we were invited. No, MAGFest is great. We have a Critical Role panel tomorrow evening that me and Marisha will be doing, and other fun stuff Saturday and Sunday. So, look for us in the schedule and we’ll look forward to seeing you guys at the actual event. Travis, you wanted to mention something real quick?

TRAVIS: Yes! I wanted to give a quick shout out to Kathy Creshe, Creshaw, I don’t know how to say it.

TALIESIN: That was a good shout out.

TRAVIS: From Pennsylvania.

SAM: Big fan of the show?

TRAVIS: We love you, from us, to you.

LAURA: We read your email.

TRAVIS: It was wonderful.

MATT: Sam!

SAM: Uh, yeah, tonight’s sponsor is Critical Role, as you said, we have lots of stuff. Lots of merchandise available in the store. The logo shirt, mugs, patches, nail wraps, hats, key chains, and necklaces are available and if you didn’t see it over the Christmas break, we have the Gilmore shirts and the “How do you want to do this?” shirts and you guys know this, we have a big Spanish speaking fan base, and I wanted to give them some love, so I thought I’d do our ad tonight in Spanish. Two notes, two notes, I don’t speak Spanish, and second note is my neighbor’s son translated this for me. So, he’s in Spanish Two. Should be pretty basic.

TRAVIS: Not, “He’s Spanish too.”

SAM: No, he’s– he’s a sophomore in high school. Hola, me llamo Sam Riegel. Aquí está mi perro. Se llama Travis Willingham. Una broma. ¿Te gustan las camisas t-shirt? Espero que sí porque tenemos dos camisas t-shirt para vender en nuestra tienda. Una es color morado. Es para Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. (laughter) La otra no es morado, es gris. Tiene el slogan de Matthew Mercer, which is… ¿Como quieres hacer esto? (laughter) No cuestan muchos pesos. Tu vas a ir internet y comprar ahora. ¡Gracias por favor!

(applause, cheers)

TRAVIS: Muy bien!

MARISHA: Yay for Spanish Two!

TALIESIN: High school Spanish is the official language of Los Angeles, well done.

TRAVIS: A future translator will then, like, show up?

SAM: I don’t know.

TALIESIN: It’ll be insulted. Actually, yeah, it’ll actually Google translate and will be like, I refuse to even touch this.

SAM: It’s for our Spanish language viewers. There are many.

TRAVIS: That was great.

MATT: This is true. Thank you so much. Anyone else? Oh, I want to announce real fast too. We received quite a bit of Critmas gifts after we had filmed the Critmas episode last month. So, as we’re slowly retrieving them from the mailbox, me, Marisha, Taliesin, and possibly anybody that’s available at the time, Liam, Laura will be doing a Periscope opening of the rest of those gifts in the next couple of weeks or so. Be announcing it ahead of time, so pay attention to that, but it is coming. So, don’t worry. We’ll be getting to your presents and thanking you for all your awesome unnecessary generosity. You’re so wonderful and we’ll let you know once it’s happening. Anybody else have any other announcements they want to make?

TRAVIS: Hands up!

SAM: Uh?

TRAVIS: Hands up!

MATT: Alright, great. That being the case.

MARISHA: I don’t know–

LIAM: I don’t know what this–

MATT: Let’s go ahead and dive in. To the first 2017 episode of Critical Role.

TALIESIN: ♪ Do you believe in life after– ♪♪

(growling, screaming) ♪ (electricity crackling) ♪

Part I
MATT: Hello, everyone,

and welcome back.

So, getting us up to speed

with the current circumstance

that we left off at

the end of last episode.

Vox Machina,

the main adventurers,

spending the better

part of this past year

under the shadow of

the Chroma Conclave,

a group of ancient

chromatic dragons

that have

banded together,

seemingly under the banner

of Thordak, The Cinder King,

a great red dragon

that had been sealed

in the fire elemental plane

for a number of years.

Newly released and

carrying with him

what was called

a soul anchor.

A magical artifact made from

the heart of a fire primordial

that had begun to

cause him to mutate

and swell and become something

beyond what he was.

Also driving him

apparently insane.

As he dominated the

countryside of Tal'Dorei,

along with the

rest of the Conclave,

you gather artifacts

of great power

called the Vestiges

of Divergence

under the guidance

of two sphinx allies.

You travel between

various planes

and gathering

these artifacts

gathered allies and prepared for

this climactic confrontation

in your home city of Emon,

now partially brought

to ruin and flame.

You assembled an army.

You snuck beneath the city.

You arrived within the center

of the Cloudtop district

nearly under the nose of

Thordak’s defending hordes,

and through a climactic

seeming sacrifice

by your friends

Kashaw and Zahra,

were allowed to pass

directly into the Cloudtop

heading off Thordak

before he could emerge

from his subterranean lair

and lay waste to the armies

as they pushed inward

towards his lair.

♪

TRAVIS: When you say it like that.

MATT: There you all did battle

with the great colossal

Thordak, The Cinder King.

A well prepared

fight rolled out

and while there

was much danger,

you all persevered and managed

to, using the vestiges,

destroy the soul anchor

once it was revealed within the

body of the great red dragon.

His form rescinding

and withering back

to its regular,

seemingly withering size.

You– it attempted to

flee back into its lair,

but the rather rapid and

temporarily winged rogue,

Vax'ildan gave chase and

dealt a finishing blow

to the great red beast

midway through its cavern

towards its lair.

There you were joined

briefly by your sister

and an ally you had made through

this circumstance, Raishan,

one green dragon.

The member of the Conclave

that seemingly had made

a tenuous alliance with you

as her goal also was

to destroy Thordak.

Aiding you in the battle,

Raishan followed suit

and upon the corpse of

Thordak laying cut, bleeding

and dead in the

center of this cavern,

she wished to take her end

of the deal you had made.

To be left alone with

the corpse for a moment

to acquire some

secret knowledge

that apparently she was seeking

from the dead dragon.

Upon releasing the

energy from the scroll

which she had utilized

the incantation from,

you decided that vengeance

being your oath as a paladin

and the history that

you have with Keyleth

and Keyleth’s people

that died under the guise

of Raishan’s initial

plotting with Thordak

to not let this creature

stand and attacked it.

Both you and your sister, just

as Keyleth began to arrive.

The rest of the party

slowly staggering behind.

Raishan sneered and went

further back into the cavern.

You all gave chase into this

dark, volcanic tunnel system

which then opened up into

a large, red flaming cavern

filled with

lava pools and rivers,

and apparently a

handful of red eggs,

it looked like scattered

throughout this room.

Thick dark red

crimson scales

with crystalline formations

pouring out of the sides.

Very similar to Thordak’s

primordial dragon form.

Upon finding not Raishan,

but just this empty space,

you looked up

to see a series

of arcane

summoned meteors

suddenly given form,

rocketing from the

ceiling of the cavern

and slamming into the floor

dealing some of you

a pretty dangerous blow

and sending you scattering

across the floor a bit.

Vex being thrown

across the way.

You all managed to survive as

at the end of the last battle,

I’d forgotten that

you had made your save

and you actually, your

bludgeon damage was halved,

so Vex is conscious,

though still hurting.

-SAM: ♪ Whoo ♪

-LIAM: ♪ Whoo ♪♪

MATT: As the dust settles

and you all take stock of

what had just transpired,

you see the snout of

the green dragon pull up

into what appears

to be a series

of dark volcanic

exhaust tunnels

that seem to be like

a hive network of–

of honeycomb type tunnels

that just spiral off

all through the ceiling,

and that’s where we left off

in the last sequence here.

SAM: Geez, Louise.

MATT: Which, previously, behind

if I’m–if I’m correct,

and I believe I am, and

if not, internet, it’s fine,

we’ll–we’ll do

the narrative.

We have the three

of you in the room.

We have Percy, Scanlan,

Pike and Gilmore

rushing up behind

as fast as they can.

Grog and Kima

had stayed behind

to finish up one of

the more recent battles

and Jarret is

just not going in.

He is not in a

place to follow suit.

“You got this, you got this.

Do not worry, it’s okay.”

LIAM: Before we ran into

the bigger chamber,

Gilmore and Jarret had caught up

with us if I remember correctly.

MATT: No, they did not.

LAURA: Oh, they hadn’t

gotten to us.

LIAM: I remember

that they did.

MATT: No, they would have gotten

into the chamber with you.

Only the three of you

made it into the chamber.

LIAM: That’s what I mean.

MATT: They got into the tunnel,

but they hadn’t

got up to your guys.

The speed in which

you guys all got there

was basically just Raishan

and the three of you,

then the

attack happened.

Raishan rushed in,

you rush after her.

Everyone else has kinda

been left in the dust.

They’re not too

far behind you,

but things be as they may.

We begin tonight’s episode

at this next

round of combat.

Continuing

where we last did.

LAURA: Oh, God, oh God!

-MARISHA: Jesus Christ.

-TRAVIS: Oh God, oh God, oh God.

-MATT: So–

-SAM: Why from there?

You’re fine.

-TALIESIN: No, stop, don’t.

-MARISHA: Yeah, police.

MATT: So, at the top of

this combat round,

technically, Percy, you

have the initiative on this.

You are continuing to push

through this– this hallway.

You haven’t quite even,

at a double dash,

you can hear explosions

in the distance

and then you guys watch as

suddenly smoke, silt and ash

come flying through

the tunnel from within

immediately followed by the

sound of these large, heavy,

banging explosions.

Some sort of heavy impact,

a series of impacts seem to have

detonated deep within the tunnel

and immediately set everyone

in the vicinity on edge

knowing that something

is still transpiring

in a very dangerous way

deeper within this tunnel.

TALIESIN: I am throwing on my mask and

I am running into the room.

I’m actually gonna

be spider crawling.

I’m gonna be on the– on

the walls so that I’m– yeah.

I don’t want to be in the line

of anything that happens.

MARISHA: That’s awesome.

LIAM: Spider Percy’s

my favorite Percy.

MATT: It’s just the feet, Percy.

MARISHA: ♪ Spider Percy,

Spider Percy ♪♪

MATT: You can if you want,

if you really want to.

SAM: He’s like

walking like this?

-MATT: Yeah.

-TALIESIN:Running.

SAM: Cool!

TALIESIN: This ain’t Dr. Strange,

this is–

LIAM: He’s doing this and

nothing’s happening.

TALIESIN: Out of fluid, you know.

LIAM: If anyone can make it,

it’s you.

TALIESIN: I know, I got to make– I got

to make Spider– Spider Percy.

MATT: So, anyway,

that ends your turn.

You–you run past

on the side of the wall,

as the ash begins to settle

around you as you run past,

kind of preparing your weapons

for a coming confrontation,

you glance out to your right

and see there the smoldering

wreckage of red scales

and dragon blood that was once

Thordak, the cinder king.

You see that and

down it’s about–

You keep running.

You can see a gentle glimmer in

the distance of a battlefield,

but you’re not

quite there yet.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: Okay, the top

of the round.

The three of you finding

yourselves in this circumstance.

We go to the lair actions.

So, these lair actions are–

LAURA: Oh God.

MATT: Of Thordak’s lair, as this

is not Raishan’s lair,

but even though

Thordak is dead,

the lair itself

has its own natural,

naturally

occurring dangers.

-TRAVIS: Damn it!

-MATT: So.

SAM: What?

That don’t make

no sense, man.

Thordak’s dead.

His lair dies with him.

MATT: Over time!

Maybe, you don’t know.

TRAVIS: His home security

system still pays for it.

-LAURA: Yeah.

-MATT: Exactly, yeah.

It’s– it’s on a recurring

subscription plan.

So, there will be–

TALIESIN: How do I pee?

MATT: The lava that you had

just landed across.

So, Vex'ahlia, as you are

knocked from the explosions

of the meteors from

landing on your back,

and just barely getting

back up to your feet,

your vision comes back as

you see the stream of lava

that’s just

barely pouring past.

Very slowly begins to…

LAURA: I back up, I back up.

MATT: As it opens and sprays

here at 20 foot radius.

LAURA: I climb back up

and I bump an egg.

MATT: I’m going to bring

out my templates.

TALIESIN: No.

LAURA: This is gonna

kill me, isn’t it?

MATT: This will explode

and all three of you–

I need you all three to make

dexterity saving throws.

-MARISHA: Oh, boy.

-TALIESIN: Yay.

MARISHA: This is great.

LAURA: Cool.

This is– is this–

TALIESIN: First roll of 2017.

-LAURA: Oh, wait, I’m hasted.

-MARISHA: Twenty total.

-SAM: Twenty total’s good.

-MARISHA: Yeah!

-LAURA: Seven.

-LIAM: Twenty-seven.

MATT: Okay, that’s fine.

So, as it is a hotter, more

dangerous vicinity here,

the damage is higher, but you

all managed to make your saves,

so you’re only

taking half damage

as you all avoid from

the spray of magma

that just bursts out and

splashes in your area.

LIAM: Evasion keeps me

at zero, yeah?

MATT: Yes, because you have

your rogue evasionness,

and it’s

three ones, alright.

-LAURA: Yay.

-TALIESIN: Yay.

MATT: So, that’ll be 18 points of

fire damage reduced to nine.

(indistinguishable dialogue)

MARISHA: I mean, I’m not, you know.

-LAURA: Still terrified.

-MARISHA: Taking it for granted.

(talking over each other)

Yeah, yeah,

something like that.

Or five, it’s debatable.

Depends on the

health of the people.

MATT: Next up in the initiative

order is Raishan.

LAURA: Oh, good.

MATT: So, as the splash happens,

you glance up and you

can see what looks to be

a series of maybe a dozen or

so of these volcanic lava tubes

that kind of are these–

these caverns roughly the

size of a very low live,

kind of pushed in

cat-like Raishan.

You see the head and the tail

kind of hanging out the side

as Raishan begins

to mutter some sort

of an incantation

under her breath.

You hear the echo…

(whispering incantation)

Between the room as it kind

of quivers for a second.

And her form

just vanishes.

TRAVIS: Damn it.

LIAM: But we saw where she was

before she went into–

MATT: You did.

SAM: Fight over, that’s it.

That’s great.

LAURA: Oh my God, she–

she ran away.

SAM: Alright, let’s mop

up here and go home.

TRAVIS: Punk ass, Raishan.

MARISHA: The air ate her.

MATT: I guarantee you that’s

probably not the case.

No.

TRAVIS: You’re saying

there’s a chance.

MATT: Yes.

Alrighty.

MARISHA: Dude.

TALIESIN: Just shunned her

into invisibility.

MATT: Great.

That brings us next

to Keyleth’s turn.

LAURA: Keyleth, just kill her.

Find her and kill

her so we can get–

MARISHA: Whereabouts

was she last?

MATT: Last you saw was up

in this cavernous area

roughly in this

portion of the ceiling.

MARISHA: But we can assume she probably

went invisible and then moved.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: I could do Faerie Fire on her,

but I mean, I don’t

know where she is

and it’s a 20 foot cube.

It’d probably be a waste.

So, instead, I’m going

to cast Call Lightning

at fourth level,

and go fire elemental.

MATT: Okay.

-SAM: How’s that work?

-LAURA: It’s an ongoing–

Lightning is an ongoing–

MARISHA: Yeah, it’s a concentration.

Yeah, I can make it–

SAM: So it just exists there?

-Ready to strike?

-TALIESIN: Like a ghostbuster.

SAM: Cool.

MATT: So, as you watch

Keyleth’s eyes flare

with this bright electric

kind of blue yellow light,

as the ash and bit of dust

that has been kind of

plummeting from the ceiling

from the impact of

the meteor swarms

and the movement of some

now not seeable dragon

amongst the ceiling caverns.

It gathers into

this swirling storm

that begins to build

and form across the top

domed portion

of this cavern.

As it does, you watch bolts

of electricity…

Arc through the storm

as Keyleth’s form

then whooshes into a burst

swirl of flaming energy.

Her physical body now becoming

a swirling fire elemental.

You wish to move or you’re

gonna stay where you are?

MARISHA: I’m going to take a few

steps back and– question.

Can I look up

and see if, like,

the clouds are kind of shaping

around like a, you know,

roughly

dragon shaped body?

That make sense?

TALIESIN: She’s looking for

disturbances of the force.

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: You gave me that

“this is bullshit” look.

TALIESIN: Roll a 29.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s not bad.

With perception,

perception.

Sorry, I’m so nervous, 26.

MATT: Twenty-six.

Glancing about between

the dust that’s falling,

the movement of the storm

that you’ve gathered

at the roof of the ceiling,

you don’t see anything

that identifies

the location

of a dragon now.

MARISHA: Yeah, so it’s fine.

So, I’ll take a

few steps back.

MATT: So you’re

about right there?

MARISHA: Yeah, oh, oh.

TALIESIN: Wow, it’s

weirdly mirrored.

Okay, that

took me a second.

-MARISHA: It’s totally mirrored.

-TALIESIN: Yeah!

LAURA: Oh!

-TALIESIN: Yeah, I know, cool.

-LIAM: Your screen is flipped.

-LAURA: That’s crazy.

-MARISHA: It’s fine.

It’s not a problem.

TALIESIN: We have the

same view you do.

LAURA: It’s actually, no,

I think it’s better,

because we’re looking at

it from his perspective.

TALIESIN: So, we can say

like, “move us down,”

and they’ll be

towards him now.

Yeah.

-MARISHA: I’m sorry, so move me–

-MATT: Further in?

MARISHA: Yeah, down– down.

SAM: Towards the lava

or away from the lava?

MARISHA: Right there,

down one more.

-Other way.

-TALIESIN: South.

-LAURA: Oh my God.

-MARISHA: South.

Yeah, that’s good,

that’s– that’s good.

-TALIESIN: There.

-MATT: Good, alright.

LAURA: Where’s our pointer?

MATT: Where’s your

laser pointers guys?

TALIESIN: Where are our pointers?

We need new pointers.

LAURA: It’s been

three weeks, Matt.

MATT: It has been, I know.

SAM: We’ve forgotten how to play.

MATT: That’s okay.

Alright, so–

MARISHA: It’s like inverted controls.

TALIESIN: I’m taking Diva.

MATT: Now, is that your turn?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Alright, finishing

Keyleth’s turn.

That brings us to Gilmore

who’s rushing up past–

LAURA: Come on, Gilmore.

MATT: Keeping up his pace

as much as he can.

“Oh, boy.

I know you guys take

me to the nicest places.”

And he’s just

jogging as best he can.

Rushing into the ash cloud

as another one pushes through.

Some of the wind

tending to push

and causing swirling little

dust devils of ash and cinder.

That’s gonna

end his turn.

Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Oh.

-MATT: So you glance up.

-LAURA: I glance up.

MATT: You see all this happening,

what are you gonna do?

LAURA: I’m gonna get on my broom.

TALIESIN: Get on up.

LAURA: And I’m gonna

take a health potion.

-MATT: Okay.

-LAURA: So…

MATT: Regular health potion?

LAURA: I have a Greater.

-MATT: Okay.

-LAURA: I have one Greater.

So, that’s a what?

4d8?

MATT: A Greater is 4d4 plus four.

Remember you guys

are pretty low

on any powerful

potions at this point.

You used most

of them, so, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, I had

a Greater left.

It’s jack shit.

Ten, ten whole points.

MATT: There you go,

ten points of healing.

On your broom.

LAURA: I’m gonna go back

towards the entrance.

Post up to the entrance,

like off the ground

as far as I can get.

MATT: That’s about as

far as you can get.

You want to stay hovering or

just like there on the ground?

LAURA: Hovering!

Stay off the ground

and can I–

MATT: Are you going up

ten feet or 20 feet

or are you staying

just above the ground

so you’re not

standing on it?

LAURA: I’m gonna go up ten feet.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And if I can be a little bit

further away from Keyleth,

that’d be clutch.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I mean, I don’t know

if it’d be clutch,

but it would be helpful.

Can I look up,

and see if

I can see like,

dust coming down

from any of the holes,

to see if Raishan is moving around

in the holes

on the ceiling–

MATT: Roll a perception check.

LIAM: There’s a storm cloud.

LAURA: I know, I know.

Is this

pertaining to dragons

so I would

get advantage?

MATT: Sure.

-LAURA: That’s the same thing.

-LIAM: Two 13’s.

LAURA: So, perception,

so that’s 26.

MATT: Okay, so glancing

about, unfortunately,

the gathering of the

Call Lightning cloud

combined with the other

dark ash-filled interior,

you don’t see anything

that signifies

the location

of a dragon.

You do glance over

and you notice

that where you

landed previously,

one of the eggs was pretty

much just destroyed by this–

‘cause it was the area

of the meteor swarm

where you guys were hit.

So, all gathered here,

so this egg right here

by where you were,

is currently just crushed

inward and filled with rock.

-MARISHA: And–

-LAURA: Really?

Is there anything

oozing out of it?

MARISHA: Yeah, what’s–

LAURA: I should have

looked at it before.

MATT: It’s hard to see,

it’s far away,

but it looks like the

egg has been destroyed.

-LAURA: Destroyed?

-SAM: Destroyed?

LAURA: She doesn’t care

about the eggs.

SAM: Or she didn’t destroy it.

LIAM: Not the Mama!

LAURA: Okay, so I’ve got–

I’m so sorry.

MARISHA: That’s true.

TRAVIS: So, it’s covered with rocks.

LAURA: I don’t know

where my notes are

to see what my

spells were from before.

I didn’t have it set up

cause I’m a horrible person.

MARISHA: But that was

from the lair action.

SAM: Yeah, that wasn’t her.

LAURA: Okay, this is–

this is the last one.

Oh, I didn’t do like

any spells before.

So, I’m gonna cast–

I’m gonna cast

Cure Wounds on myself.

MATT: Okay.

What level?

MARISHA: Yeah, but does she

care or even not care?

TALIESIN: We’ll find out.

LAURA: I’m gonna cast

it at third level.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: So, that’s 1d8– 2d8 plus

my spell casting modifier.

-MATT: So, a 3d8 technically.

-LAURA: 3d8?

MATT: Cause if you’re

casting at third level,

it’s 3d8 plus your spell modifier.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: That’s good,

that’s good, that’s good.

MARISHA: This is turning into

a Jerry Springer episode.

Is she or is

she not the mom?

LAURA: No, my modifier, which is my wisdom.

Ten plus–

Jesus Christ,

I’m sorry!

Ten plus–

TALIESIN: Three weeks, man.

LAURA: Thirteen points heal.

MARISHA: It’s like riding a bike,

riding a bike.

LIAM: Three weeks to

stew, everybody.

MATT: Alright, there you go.

At the end of your turn–

Actually she’s gonna do–

TALIESIN: It’s like riding a

bike with pen and paper.

MATT: Okay.

You feel this strange,

sudden warm tingling sensation

separate from the healing spell

just in your vicinity.

Almost like a warm breeze

just kind of passes through you.

That’s it.

-SAM: Oh, boy.

-MATT: End of your turn.

-SAM: What does that mean?

-LAURA: I don’t know.

SAM: You’ve been

cursed forever.

-TRAVIS: It’s a bloody fart.

-TALIESIN: Farting dragon.

Invisible

farting dragon.

LAURA: What if that

was a baby dragon?

LIAM: I’m gonna take to the air.

I’m going to– do I

still feel hasted yet?

MATT: You– yes, you do.

LIAM: I’m going to

fly past my sister

and slap the one Greater healing

potion I have into her palm.

LAURA: Oh, thank you.

LIAM: Oh, Superior,

excuse me.

LAURA: What?!

LIAM: And then

I’m going to

curve around over Keyleth

and stab the egg there with

the Dragon Slayer blade.

-SAM: Oh, boy.

-MATT: This one?

-LIAM: Yes.

-MATT: Okay.

SAM: Stabbing eggs?

TALIESIN: That should give you a

Dragon Slayer bonus also.

MATT: Go ahead and

roll for attack.

TRAVIS: Isn’t that poaching?

LIAM: That is 29.

MATT: That hits.

SAM: Go home Travis, you’re drunk.

TRAVIS: I’m working on it.

LAURA: The babies will

help us though.

What if the

babies are cute?

-Can we raise them?

-TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: You want to try and

Daenerys this shit?

TALIESIN: We can raise them

by setting them on fire.

MARISHA: We each get one, you guys.

LIAM: Twenty-six.

MATT: Twenty-six

points of damage.

Alright, you take the

blade as you rush up

and then hack through it.

The blade only

gets a few inches

into the tough outer

exterior of this egg

and you have to push

and carve through

and you do carve a–

a sliver through the egg’s shell

and a little bit of

deep, brownish-maroon liquid

begins to spill out

of it, but that’s–

it’s not a heavy amount

of damage to the egg.

LIAM: I’m gonna take Whisper

and take that further.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for a

secondary attack.

-LIAM: That is 28 to hit.

-MATT: 28, that hits.

I’ll mark the eggs that

are damaged and destroyed.

This one is…

LIAM: That’s a total of 15.

MATT: Oh, that’s not

working too well.

Good to know. Total of what?

-LIAM: Fifteen.

-MATT: Fifteen, okay.

With that much damage, the egg

begins to crack even further.

More of the liquid

begins to spill.

The blade pulls through

and you can see,

as you tear a chunk

of the actual shell

of this egg off

and it falls,

you have punctured some

sort of thick amniotic sac.

That’s what the fluid

that’s spilling out of it,

but you haven’t

seemingly touched

any sort of flesh

or creature within,

but the egg is currently has

a section that is exposed.

LIAM: And I have–if

I’m still hasted,

I have a lot of

movement left,

so I’m going

to fly and hover

about 15 feet above

the egg towards you,

towards your DM tape

on the side there.

-MATT: Over here?

-LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Fifteen feet

in the air.

♪

I have 120 feet of

movement total hasted.

LAURA: So, we were lining up?

We’re seriously lining up?

LIAM: No, I’m all the

way over there.

-LAURA: No, you’re in a line.

-LIAM: That’s not where I want to be.

I want to be–

MATT: I know, I’m– I’m calculating

how much movement you have.

LIAM: I’m arguing with

her, not you.

MATT: Ah, no worries.

LIAM: Cause that’s what we do

cause we love each other.

MATT: You can get

right there.

LIAM: Okay.

Fifteen feet

in the air.

MATT: Fifteen feet

in the air?

LIAM: That’s not the egg that

I’m talking about though.

LAURA: Look, I’m talking about–

LIAM: I’m talking about

the egg closer to Matt.

LAURA: Yes, there it is.

-LIAM: There.

-LAURA: That one!

LIAM: This is where

I want to go.

LAURA: That’s where

you are, dude.

LIAM: That’s over there?

LAURA: Yeah, it’s reverse.

LIAM: It’s the–it’s the

flip screen is–

I don’t want

to go there.

I want to go across

from everybody.

It’s the flip.

SAM: Guys, just don’t

look at the TV.

Look at the screen.

MATT: Over this way?

TRAVIS: Closer, Matt?

LIAM: I’m gonna kill you all.

MATT: Bare with this, new tech.

New year, we’re

making this work.

LIAM: There, there.

The egg that’s there.

TALIESIN: I have a brilliant solution

for this for next time.

MATT: So, from there– yeah.

You wouldn’t be

able to make it there.

LIAM: Literally, in game.

SAM: Invert controls.

TRAVIS: It’s like a jet fighter.

-MARISHA: Battleship.

-TALIESIN: We can Battleship it.

Next time, next time, we’ll

just have a row of letters

and a row of numbers.

-Says move me up to L7.

-LAURA: I can’t use inverted controls.

SAM: I only use inverted.

LAURA: Really?

TALIESIN: Isn’t that a great idea?

MATT: Destroyed.

TALIESIN: That was amazing.

MATT: This egg has one

crack in the side there.

Okay.

LAURA: Did you just mark

on your cool eggs?

TRAVIS: He’s using dry erase.

MATT: Wet erase and, you know. It’s fun.

TALIESIN: It’s either that

or lick them.

SAM: How many more times are we

gonna play

with dragon eggs in a year?

TRAVIS: Did you have us on

tiny plastic eggs?

MATT: Yeah, so I ordered

way too many.

I put a bunch in my cart

to make sure that I–

I didn’t know

which one to get

and then forgot about it,

came back and was like,

“Oh shit, I got

to order that.”

Ended up buying

like three bags full.

TALIESIN: What am I gonna do

with all these eggs?

MATT: We’ll have egg

plastic giveaways.

That ends

your turn, Vax?

Alright.

At the end of

your turn, Vax,

you feel the effect of

the haste potion dissipate

and your body, all of a sudden,

goes from this hyperactive,

very familiar mode

to extremely lethargic

and you find yourself having

to fight to catch your breath.

So, you can’t take

any actions next turn.

-Can’t do anything.

-LAURA: Oh, it’s the potion.

MATT: It’s the potion,

it’s not the boots.

LIAM: The boots, right.

MATT: Kima is trying to keep

up pace with you, Grog.

You’re still in

your large form.

How long’s that last for?

TRAVIS: Let me check.

Enlarge: 10 minutes.

MATT: Yeah, alright, so you’re

like bounding through.

Kima’s falling behind.

As you guys both enter,

and continue past

you hear the explosions in the

distance and all of a sudden,

the rolling of smoke

and ash rushes past you.

The smell

doesn’t bother you

cause you’ve had the smell

of burning beard hair

most of this

close to your nose.

What was once your

great bush beard

is a little tighter

to your face now.

TRAVIS: What?

You’ve taken a few dragon fire breaths

to the face.

The fact that

you have any hair

is by the grace of your

ancestral history.

That Dwarven

belt you have.

TRAVIS: I know, that’s why it’s so precious.

MATT: But are you just going full sprint

to catch up

with everybody?

-TRAVIS: Yeah.

-MATT: Alright.

TRAVIS: I’ll just roll it.

I still have

Pike with me, right?

MATT: Pike is coming

with you, yeah.

‘Cause you picked her up.

so you’re just

running with Pike.

Kima’s just

like, “Damn it!”

Left in the ash.

You, while you were behind,

you, with your full speed,

being faster than everybody

else in this group,

you almost catch up entirely

to Percy and Gilmore

and pretty much on their

initiative count going forward,

or at least of the arrival

count in the next round.

That finishes your go.

Let’s see.

♪

You were after Vax, right?

TRAVIS: Yes, no, no, I was

right before Vax.

MATT: Right, so I got a little out

of order, sorry, my apologies.

Alright, so anyway, it wouldn’t

have made a difference.

So Kima goes for a run. Pike.

Is Pike doing

anything on your back?

LAURA: Yes.

Pike’s gonna heal you.

-TRAVIS: Who?

-LAURA: You.

-TRAVIS: Me?

-SAM: Ran away.

-LAURA: Yeah, she’s–

-LIAM: Oh, wait, she’s with him.

-LAURA: Yeah.

-MATT: He’s carrying her.

LIAM: Nice.

TRAVIS: I got a little backpack.

MARISHA: I was just gonna say,

is she Yoda-ing you?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Is it like a Yoda

situation, that’s awesome.

TRAVIS: The force.

That was terrible.

MATT: That was pretty

awful, actually.

(talking over each other)

SAM: Hi, I’m Yoda.

TRAVIS: I think that’s

his brother, Carl.

LAURA: She’s gonna cast Cure Wounds

at third level on him.

TALIESIN: That Seagulls

song is so great.

LAURA: So, that’s three d8’s.

MARISHA: One of the best things

they’ve done in a while.

TALIESIN: One of the best things

they’ve done in a long while.

LAURA: Ooh, that’s pretty good.

Sixteen plus her page, her modifier.

What is– oh, that’s–

TRAVIS: Wisdom?

LAURA: That’s my page.

LIAM: Clerics are–

MATT: Wisdom, wisdom.

Five, so add five to that.

LAURA: Plus five, 18.

-Twenty-one.

-MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: Thanks, Pike.

LAURA: “Oh, you’re

welcome, Grog.”

-LIAM: You know.

-LAURA: Well, you know.

MATT: Scanlan.

SAM: I will run…

my 25 feet,

and then pop a potion.

Just a normal potion of healing

‘cause that’s all I got.

MATT: So, that’s a 1d–

2d4 plus two.

SAM: Okay.

Ooh.

2d4 plus two?

MATT: Yep.

SAM: Five.

MATT: You heal

five hit points.

SAM: Great, I’m up to 70.

MATT: Are you– are you doing

anything else on your turn?

Are you dashing?

SAM: Can I use my action to dash?

MATT: Yes, your action to

move again, essentially.

SAM: Okay.

I will do such a thing

cause I don’t even know.

I’m just following

people and–

MATT: Yeah, you’re a little bit behind

and you’re pretty much–

Grog has caught up to you,

and you guys are just behind

Gilmore and Percy at this point.

SAM: Okay, I’m in

front of Grog still?

-MATT: Yeah.

-TRAVIS: Damn.

(laughing)

MATT: Well, he was

running while you–

(breathing heavily)

SAM: Objects in the mirror

are gigantic.

MATT: Okay, at the end

of your turn–

SAM: I die.

♪

MATT: Vax.

You, as you fly over with

your wings in the air,

looking down at the egg.

You feel this sudden

warm wind pass through you.

LAURA: What is that?

MARISHA: Fuck, is that her?

MATT: You don’t quite–

it seems sourceless,

but it just seems to

fill you and leave.

LAURA: Does it feel good when it

happens or does it feel like–

MATT: It’s just different.

It’s already a hot, like

you’re all sweating in here,

so the fact that

you feel something,

like, warm briefly comparatively

to the temperature around you

is what catches

your attention.

It doesn’t hurt

or damage you,

but it just

seems strange.

TALIESIN: I don’t like any of this.

MARISHA: I don’t like any of it.

SAM: It’s menopause.

(laughing)

LAURA: It’s natural.

LIAM: You ruined the surprise.

TRAVIS: I cast Menopause on you.

LIAM: I’ll pretend like

I suffer it myself.

-MATT: Okay, good.

-TRAVIS: You bastard.

MATT: Percival, we’re up at the

top of the initiative.

TALIESIN: I’m running my

way in there.

MATT: Alright.

So…

Alrighty.

Percival, at a full run.

If you go full run,

you’ll manage to get

just barely inside

the cavern about there.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: Right there.

-TALIESIN: That’ll do.

-MATT: So, that’ll be your turn.

There’s still a bonus action

if you have any use for it, so.

TALIESIN: I don’t really have–

Mostly I just want to

use my bonus action

to take in everything and

look around and have a–

have a good, good

serious look.

In fact, I’ll even

take a perception roll

if I can have one.

-MATT: Go for it.

-TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: Just a good

sit and think.

TALIESIN: Let’s get– okay,

no never mind.

That’s pretty good.

Wow, it has been a while.

-Twenty-five.

-MATT: Twenty-five.

Glancing around,

you see a fire elemental

that briefly startles you

as you kind of whip

around in that direction,

but you recognize–

MARISHA: And like, it’s got

antlers, and I’m like…

(grunts)

TALIESIN: I love Hannibal

too, it’s great.

Okay.

Eggs, dust.

MATT: Yeah, you see eggs.

One is destroyed

and just leaking out

and like a series

of boulders

and what looks like

some sort of a large,

concave impression on the top.

There are eggs scattered

throughout the area.

There’s a giant

storm cloud gathering

in the roof of the cavern,

and there is the

large pool of lava

with the small

pool over there.

You see occasional glimmers

of what look like

coin in the distance.

TALIESIN: Can you put me,

like, on the wall

just cause I don’t

think I’d be–

I was still spider crawling

so even

on top of the little

wall thing, if you want.

MATT: Sure, I’ll

put you there.

Sure, why not, Percy?

-TALIESIN: Thank you.

-MATT: You’re welcome.

TALIESIN: That makes me happy.

LIAM: How high is it to these

holes in the ceiling from–

MATT: I’d say it’s

about 60, 70 feet up?

-LAURA: Okay.

-TALIESIN: Cool, cool.

MATT: Yeah, the whole cavern’s

kind of domed like this.

Alrighty, then,

that’s Percy’s turn.

Another lair action’s

going to transpire.

SAM: Oh.

This one’s a good one.

This one heals everybody.

MATT: Yeah.

There is a fissure

that erupts

over in this

side of the room.

The ground kind of

cracks open and this–

You’ve seen

it happen once.

A plume of poisonous gas

fills this space here.

LAURA: It’s okay, we’re

immune to poison.

MATT: Let’s see.

I need– I need you, Vex,

to make a constitution

saving throw.

LAURA: Even I’m immune to poison?

Oh, no.

MARISHA: Really?

Even with Hero’s Feast?

-SAM: Oh, no.

-MARISHA: Oh, shit.

LAURA: I got plus two

for the ring.

So, 11.

SAM: Eleven.

MATT: Okay, good, I’ll

keep that in mind.

TALIESIN: That’s a number.

MATT: Okay.

It is now…

TRAVIS: What does that mean?

What does it mean?

LAURA: Slowly my skin starts

to melt off my body.

MATT: Yeah, you just– the cloud

kind of fills the area

and you start

coughing, that’s it.

It hasn’t gone your turn yet,

so, it is now Raishan’s turn.

Legendary actions

are restored.

TALIESIN: I hate all of this.

Oh, good, I was worried

about her legendary actions.

♪

MARISHA: Are you being facetious?

TALIESIN: I don’t know

what that means.

LAURA: Who’s turn is

it right now?

-It’s Raishan’s?

-MATT: It’s Raishan’s turn.

Deciding what to do.

Okay.

TALIESIN: I don’t know the

meaning of the word.

MATT: Um…

SAM: This is fun.

Just good, clean fun.

MATT: Percival.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: As you’re running

along the wall,

and you glance in the vicinity,

you see the cloud of poison

kind of burst from the ground

and you’re just

out of the range of it.

I’m sorry, it’s just within

your range from where the–

TALIESIN: I’m wearing my mask.

MATT: Yeah, you have

your mask on.

TALIESIN: I don’t know if it actually

helps, but there we are.

TRAVIS: You look fabulous.

MATT:So, as you’re standing

kind of amongst this–

this fume, you see this

within this, this cloud,

a kind of strange burst of very,

very faint light in your area

and you feel, even

in this heated room,

a sudden surge of heat within

your kind of torso region

and then it fades.

LAURA: What does it mean?!

It’s freaking me

the fuck out.

TRAVIS: She’s blazing us, ya’ll.

She’s lighting us up.

LAURA: What if it’s like–

TRAVIS: Doesn’t Hunter’s Mark feel

like something sometimes?

LAURA: Oh my God,

that’s right.

What if she’s like marking

us for death or something?

MATT: You now can faintly

hear what sounds like…

There are footsteps moving

through the tunnels,

but you’re unable

in the current chaos

and the obscured vision

to see where it’s happening

but there is movement happening

above you throughout the cavern.

TALIESIN: My save versus magic

would not help

with this at all.

Cabal’s Ruin would

not help with this.

Okay, just check.

MATT: Okay.

That ends Raishan’s turn.

That’s gonna bring

us to Keyleth.

MARISHA: Okay.

Really unsure of what’s going

on, so I’m just going to…

TRAVIS: Laser pointer right here.

LAURA: Laser pointer.

MARISHA: Thank you.

I’m gonna go to that egg right

here that Vax was wailing on.

-MATT: Yep.

-MARISHA: And try and finish it off.

MATT: Okay, you move up and as

you get to the edge of it,

you can see now the light

that your body’s giving off.

So, the fire elemental

is glinting off of piles

of gold and platinum that are

kind of gathered around the egg.

About a third of it is

still submerged in volcanic rock

and has been placed

here for quite some time.

LAURA: Don’t let me die,

I need to loot.

MATT: You can see the crack in

the exterior of the egg

and the kind of thick

purplish amniotic fluid

that is slowly dribbling

down like a–

like a slow moving molasses

or sap from the wound

left behind by Vax.

MARISHA: I’m gonna do

two slam attacks.

-MATT: Go for it.

-MARISHA: Multi attack.

Uh, wait.

Those were

both nine’s.

Which is–

so 15 total.

-To hit?

-MATT: Fifteen to hit?

It does hit, yes.

MARISHA: Okay, and that is–

MATT: Only because he pre-damaged

it to that point.

You’re basically attacking

through the shell of the egg.

Removed a portion of

its armor, so otherwise–

TALIESIN: You’re punching a

dragon fetus right now.

MARISHA: I am totally

punching a dragon–

TALIESIN: That’s like

so eggs benedict.

MARISHA: Plus six,

so that’s a ten.

Fourteen,

eighteen damage.

MATT: Okay.

So, you plunge your

flaming fist into the fluid.

You hear it immediately sizzle

as your fist goes into it.

You punch something

dense on the inside.

(groaning)

LAURA: Oh, you punched

a baby dragon.

LIAM: Good.

LAURA: “Good.”

-MARISHA: Okay, that’s my turn.

-LAURA: In the head.

MATT: You did both of

those slam attacks?

MARISHA: Those were both–

those my attacks.

MATT: You rolled a 15 and a–

MARISHA: I rolled two nine’s

and I have a plus six.

-MATT: Oh!

-MARISHA: I rolled both of 'em twice.

MATT: Oh, oh, so you

rolled 15 both times.

-MARISHA: Yes.

-MATT: Got you.

Then how much damage

did you total?

-MARISHA: Eighteen.

-MATT: Eighteen from both attacks?

-MARISHA: Yes.

-MATT: Okay, cool.

Alright, so,

with both slams,

the first fist goes in and

slams and hits something.

The second time you

reach in and slamming,

you grab it and pull out,

as you kind of yank out of

the egg just a little bit,

you see what looks

like the snout of a very

tiny Thordak essentially.

But whereas the red dragon

you saw Thordak,

that was like

partially volcanic,

crystalline with

the burning eyes,

this creature

is seemingly made

from pure primordial

fire and rock.

This is a whole

new form of dragon.

MARISHA: He made them clones.

LAURA: What if he made–

what if it’s one

for every member

of the Conclave?

MARISHA: How many are there?

LAURA: There’s five eggs,

but one is crushed

and that would be Raishan and

there would be nothing in it.

SAM: What?

MARISHA: Wait, are we sure

there was nothing in it?

LAURA: I don’t know.

MARISHA: Do you want to go check and see

if there was something in it?

TRAVIS: Covered in rock,

we can’t see.

MARISHA: Are there five–

there are five eggs?

SAM: Or he was making their

own basketball team.

MATT: There are five eggs

that you can see currently.

LIAM: And they’re all red,

they’re all red.

MATT: They’re all red, yes.

LAURA: Okay, well,

they’re all red.

Maybe they’re

all Thordak’s.

MARISHA: They’re little clones?

TALIESIN: If they’re clones, maybe it’s

literally five new

breeds of dragon.

LAURA: Oh my God.

TRAVIS: Only one way

to find out.

MARISHA: Yeah, only one

way to find out.

-Let’s bust open another one.

-LAURA: Is it still alive?

TALIESIN: What do you call the

little chocolate eggs?

LAURA: Is it alive?

MARISHA: Is it alive or did

I kind of kill it by–

MATT: You kind of killed it.

It’s currently

limp in your grasp.

SAM: Hey, you killed a dragon.

LAURA: Good job.

MARISHA: “I did it!

I got one!”

MATT: Keyleth, the

dragon snapper.

TALIESIN: This is the like the Westworld

version of killing a dragon.

SAM: How do you want to do this?

Sunny side up.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Benedict.

MATT: Perfect.

You still have

some movement, Keyleth,

if you want

to move still.

MARISHA: I do, don’t I.

I want to start

heading towards Vax.

MATT: Towards Vax

this way, okay.

What’s your movement

in fire elemental form?

-MARISHA: Fifty feet.

-MATT: Fifty feet?

You get about there, however,

unaffected by fire and–

MARISHA: And I’m, like, hovering.

MATT: You’re comfortable in this.

-MARISHA: It’s like a spa.

-MATT: Kinda yeah.

-It’s tingly.

-MARISHA: It’s like a hot spring.

MATT: It’s perfect.

Alright, that

ends your turn.

Gilmore, just at a full run

gets up to the side here,

and is kind of flanking.

He enters the space,

pushes up against the wall

and just kind of

surveys the territory.

He looks spooked but

also kind of in that,

“Well, we’re here”

type mentality.

Looks about the room and

goes, “Everyone all right?

Please tell me

everyone’s all right.”

(coughing)

(whimpering)

“Great.”

That ends Gilmore’s

turn as he just arrives.

Grog.

(roars)

You just come sprinting in.

TRAVIS: Can I smack Shaun’s

ass as I go by?

Going, “Come on, Shaun.”

-MATT: Sure.

-LIAM: Shaun breaks in half.

MATT: You aren’t stealthy,

and as you run by,

Shaun sees you about

to swing and goes like,

“Fine.”

Whack!

Might have

dislocated his hip.

He’s like…

(strained laugh)

“I’ll charge you later.”

LAURA: That’s gonna be a bruise

on the ass for sure.

MATT: You get about there

and you are–

Pike is technically

on your space,

kind of clutching

to your shoulders.

We’ll say back here.

Little Yoda backpack.

TRAVIS: Do I get any

additional movement

or am I just here now?

MATT: You are a little

bit behind everybody.

You’ve just now caught up to

everybody, and that’s–

Just your full double run

and you just arrived

at the edge of the map.

TRAVIS: “I’m here.

Let the piñatas begin.”

SAM: “Okay, what’s a piñata?”

TRAVIS: “I don’t know, I thought

it was a celebration.

-Is it not?”

-MARISHA: You should ask Sam.

SAM: Hola, me llamo Sam Riegel.

MARISHA: Yeah, there you go.

TALIESIN: ¿Donde está la biblioteca?

MATT: Alright, that’ll

bring us to Vex’s turn.

LAURA: Oh, okay, alright.

MATT: At the top of your turn,

the poison has

filled your lungs

and while you

suffer no damage,

you are incapacitated.

You are just in

a coughing fit,

almost falling

off of your broom.

Like sliding off

to the side and just…

(coughing)

And you just

can’t do anything.

-LAURA: I can’t do anything?

-MATT: Nope.

LAURA: It was a whole

fucking turn?

-MATT: Yep.

-LAURA: Gone.

MARISHA: So, both the

twins have no turns.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: The poison has

completely filled you

to the point

where you’re seizing.

You feel the muscles

tightening up, and–

LAURA: It’s not hurting me–

MATT: It’s not hurting you, but

you’re unable to do anything.

TRAVIS: Sulfurous gas.

It wrecks your shit.

LIAM: Welcome to Hot Pepper Gaming.

LAURA: That’s good,

because you know what?

I didn’t have

anything planned

and it would have been a

cluster fuck like last time,

so fuck it.

MATT: Vax.

You currently

are just kinda like…

(gasping)

Taking a breath, your vision

kind of blurs for a moment

and you can see the double

vision trying to align.

It comes in to focus

and you see Keyleth’s

fire elemental form

kind of gliding across.

You see the edge of your

sister currently shadowed

against this cloud of toxic, sulfurous gas

that is spewed up

from the ground.

You can hear her

coughing in the distance.

You see a bunch

of your allies

now beginning

to just show up

on the outside of the

room’s kind of lit interior,

and it takes you

the full round

to kind of

catch your breath.

LIAM: No movement either, yeah?

MATT: Let me double

check actually.

I’m pretty sure…

Let me see here.

♪

Can’t move or take actions

until next turn, so no.

Alright, so that ends

the end of Vax’s turn.

Let’s see, at the

end of your turn.

There is going to be…

LIAM: This is fucking–

(indistinct whispering)

SAM: Did I–did I get a turn?

No, I did mine already.

MATT: Yeah, we’re gonna

get to yours.

LIAM: I’m still in the same position

15 feet up that I was.

MATT: You are, yes.

Yeah, your wings

are just like…

Grog, you see this

kind of faint glimmer

of energy around you

and you instinctually

kind of like…

(grunts)

(growls)

But no temperature change.

Nothing seems to happen.

TRAVIS: Do I smell anything?

MATT: You smell sweaty gnome on metal armor.

-LAURA: “Sorry.”

-TRAVIS: “Honestly, really?

I mean, come on.”

LIAM: “I’m just a little

nervous is all.”

TRAVIS: “Did you eat mustard pretzels

before this, my god?”

LIAM: “Maybe.”

LAURA: “You know how

they make me calm.”

TRAVIS: Calm?

SAM: Double Ashley is

the best Ashley.

MATT: Kima’s running, desperately

trying to catch up.

But she’s not quite

in the battlefield yet.

It’s Pike’s go.

LIAM: Pike, Pike,

it’s your turn.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

LIAM: Yeah, let’s buff everybody.

LAURA: Yeah, so she’s gonna cast–

what she should do mass–

MARISHA: Is there anything

that could help

with the stuff that has

been magically cast on us?

TALIESIN: We don’t actually

know what’s been done.

LAURA: Oh, on everybody

and it’s 30 feet.

How far–

Can she move up and get–

How many people can

she get in a 30 foot cone?

MATT: A 30 foot cone?

LAURA: A 30 foot radius.

MATT: From where she is,

it’s six squares.

LIAM: But she can

move forward.

MATT: She can move 25 squares

right now.

She’s been

on Grog’s back.

She can kind of

like leap off and–

LIAM: But she could get closer

to–to Vex, right?

LAURA: Vex and Percy and Grog?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: She’s right here,

she can move this way

or this way or

wherever you want.

LAURA: Let’s– okay.

MARISHA: Here, guys.

TRAVIS: Here’s a pointer.

MARISHA: Laser pointer.

LIAM: If she gets near Vex,

then she can get Grog,

Gilmore, Percy.

LAURA: Maybe like in that area?

-LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

-LAURA: Or like, no.

-LIAM: Closer to Percy.

-LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: This– she’ll just be on the

outskirts of getting Percy

and can get all

the rest of you guys.

LIAM: Keyleth as well?

TALIESIN: She doesn’t

really need it.

LIAM: Why not?

MATT: She can just

catch Keyleth.

LAURA: Yeah, sweet,

that’s great.

Then she casts Beacon

of Hope from there.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What did that do,

oh, that was–

LAURA: That gives you advantage

on wisdom saving throws,

death saving throws,

regains max number of

hit points for healing.

MATT: Or it would, possibly.

SAM: Oh, shit.

There’s interferon.

LIAM: Gilmore stabs Vax.

LAURA: I’m hitting him

with the laser.

SAM: Don’t blind our DM.

TALIESIN: I can’t see the die, I’m gonna

assume it was an natural 20.

MATT: I’d roll again.

There we go, that’s

we’re looking for.

Okay.

It’s a natural 20,

so yeah.

There is a burst of

greenish blue arcane energy

that just kind of…

around Pike as she

tries to cast the spell.

The spell fizzles.

MARISHA: She got counter spelled.

LAURA: Oh!

I hate her!

TRAVIS: We’re in a

no magic zone.

LAURA: No, it’s just–

SAM: No magic works here.

Don’t even try.

LAURA: Alright.

TRAVIS: Just ruins everything

I was gonna do.

LAURA: Great.

TALIESIN: It’s okay, she burned

a counterspell.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: Scanlan, your turn.

SAM: I move as far as I can.

-MATT: You…

-SAM: Did I make it in?

MATT: Running up, you’re like

just on the outskirts.

You get caught up right about

there in the center of the room.

That’s as far

as you can get.

SAM: Alright.

Can I yell out?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: “Where’s Raishan?”

LAURA: (coughing)

LIAM: “Ceiling.”

TRAVIS: “I just got here.”

LIAM: “She’s in the

fucking ceiling, man.”

SAM: “She’s in the ceiling?”

LIAM: “Yeah.”

LAURA: (coughing)

LIAM: I’m sorry: Alien.

Ceiling!

MARISHA: They’re in the walls.

The goddamn walls.

MATT: It would have taken you

moving action to get there.

You have a bonus

if you want to take it.

SAM: Bonus?

Bonus, I will– shit.

TALIESIN: You’ll shit?

-SAM: Bonus.

-LIAM: True to form.

SAM: No, I’ll heal

myself again.

I’ll do a second level.

MATT: Healing Word?

-SAM: Healing Word.

-MATT: Go for it.

SAM: So that’s 2d4 plus–

MATT: 2d4 plus six, yeah.

MARISHA: Oh, yay.

SAM: Twelve, okay.

MARISHA: That’s better,

that’s good.

Good job.

Good job.

-SAM: Gerd jerb.

-TALIESIN: Gerd jerb.

SAM: Great, I’ll take it.

Back up to something.

MATT: Perfect.

Let’s see here.

That ends Scanlan’s turn.

Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Alright, I’m gonna use Animus

and I’m gonna take

some potshots at that

egg that’s on

the other side of Grog.

-MATT: Over here?

-TALIESIN: Yeah.

Is that one of the

dead one or is that the–

MATT: That was the one that

Keyleth just punched.

TALIESIN: That you just

punched through?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: Okay, in that case,

I’m gonna keep–

MATT: You see no other eggs

where you currently are.

MATT: Except the one

that’s right over here.

You could technically fire at

the one that’s across the way.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna actually start

walking along the wall.

This way as

far as I can go.

LIAM: Oh, he’s sticking

to it, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: That’s cool.

LAURA: Hey, look, an egg.

TALIESIN: And I know, like, I’m too

close to shoot at that egg,

but I can shoot at–

MARISHA: It’s like an

Easter egg hunt.

LAURA: But you’re above it.

Aren’t you high

on the wall?

TALIESIN: Technically, I am

far away enough from it that I shouldn’t–

MATT: Do you want to go

further on here

or on this alcove here?

TALIESIN: Further like–

like this direction.

I want to

head this way.

MATT: Okay, so you’re moving

across the wall.

You end at about

there at full movement.

TALIESIN: Okay, and I’m too

close to the egg

to get a clean shot

at it right now, right?

-MATT: Well, I mean–

-TALIESIN: I’ve got some height, so.

MATT: Yeah, you could–

TALIESIN: I’m using a

one-handed, so.

I’m gonna

fire with Animus.

I’m gonna take three pot shots at it

with Sharpshooter.

Shot number one.

Yay, that could

have been terrible.

-26.

-MATT: 26 hits.

TALIESIN: Should I just roll

all three and then do damage?

-MATT: Sure.

-TALIESIN: Okay.

26, um, 14.

MATT: Fourteen does not hit.

-TALIESIN: That’s fine.

-MARISHA: Oh, man.

♪

TALIESIN: And 16.

MATT: Sixteen does not hit.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m firing really

terribly, but that’s okay.

LIAM: Hanging off a wall.

TALIESIN: Hanging off a wall,

this is new.

Let me get my dice.

That’s alright.

Twenty-three points of damage

plus four psychic damage.

MATT: Okay.

Alright, so,

first shot.

It pierces through and actually

cracks part of the egg.

You can see it’s almost

like a spider spiral

where the egg

interior cracks inward.

It pierces and a

little bit of dark liquid

begins to pool out of it.

That’s as much as you make

as the next two shots

seem to ricochet

off of its hard shell.

TALIESIN: Alright, that’s my–

Yeah, I’m just gonna

use my bonus to reload

and take some more shots.

TRAVIS: ♪ Dancing on the ceiling ♪

♪ Oh, what a feeling ♪♪

SAM: Best music video.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: It’s like a piñata.

¿No sé?

MATT: Okay.

Suddenly, the entire

lair begins to shake.

-TRAVIS: Shit.

-TALIESIN: Goddammit.

MATT: Like this tremor

begins to emanate

from the ceiling

portion of this.

Pieces of rock begin to…

Fall from the ceiling.

I need…

The guys who

are flying, so,

Keyleth, Vax and Vex,

don’t worry about this.

Everyone else, I need you to

make a dexterity saving throw.

SAM: Even me, I’m

barely in the room?

MATT: It’s a big radius.

SAM: I got one foot out.

What is it dex–?

MATT: Dexterity.

TALIESIN: That’s better.

TRAVIS: Ten.

SAM: Seventeen.

TALIESIN: Fifteen.

-MATT: Okay.

-LAURA: Five.

MATT: Five, okay.

-Pike…

-LAURA: Oh, I’m sorry.

TRAVIS: Grog both lose your footing

and plummet backward.

Gilmore rolls a

natural 20, he’s fine.

-LAURA: Hey!

-MARISHA: Hey!

MATT: “Oh ho.

Great dodger,

since I was 12.”

Yeah, Percy, you mange

to just barely hold on

without losing your the–

TALIESIN: Thankfully my

spider sense tingled.

-MATT: Oh!

-MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: I almost want you to

just go home for that.

TALIESIN: Now I’m gonna fall.

TRAVIS: A whole bunch

of cheese here.

MATT: Yep.

Okay.

That ends the lair action.

LAURA: Next turn with disadvantage.

(laughing)

MATT: It is now Raishan’s turn.

LAURA: Oh, that was

a lair action?

-MATT: Yeah.

-LAURA: Oh, Jesus.

TRAVIS: We should just call

that Raishan’s turn.

MATT: Nah.

You watch as through

the cloud of lightning

that’s kind of swirling,

a small dragon-like form

just pierces through

momentarily.

It’s still see-through.

You can see the rest

of the swirling storm around it,

but it’s enough of that

Predator-like appearance,

where it just

shapes and shimmies,

or shimmers

through the vicinity.

It shimmies through.

As it does, you watch

this claw kind of lift up

as this low

echoing voice…

(whispering in foreign language)

LAURA: This is all of

us with the light.

All of us

with the heat.

TALIESIN: Okay, what is this?

LAURA: It’s gonna do something,

I know it.

TALIESIN: We’re– we’re all–

MATT: Okay, 30 foot cubes.

TALIESIN: We’re all just gonna turn inside

out and that’ll be the end.

TRAVIS: We’ll all turn

into chickens.

TALIESIN: It’s gonna be like

John Carpenter’s The Thing.

TRAVIS: And then the eggs will

turn into big chickens.

LIAM: First, we’ll all

mash together.

TALIESIN: And then get separated

out into equal piles.

LAURA: Oh, geez.

MATT: Yeah, 30 foot cube.

I can only get– she can

only get Vex, Pike and Grog,

but I need the

three of you to make

a constitution

saving throw.

TRAVIS: Constitution?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Damn it!

TALIESIN: ♪ Constitution ♪

♪ Come on ♪♪

-LIAM: Yeah.

-LAURA: So, that’s good.

I don’t get

any bonus though.

Twenty-one?

TALIESIN: Nice.

LIAM: Oh, thank God.

-TRAVIS: Twenty-seven.

-MATT: Okay, and Pike?

LAURA: Oh, oh.

You roll for Pike.

LIAM: Okay.

She gets the meteor.

I hope it’s good.

-It’s a one.

-LAURA: Oh, no!

MATT: Well, Vex and

Pike both failed.

LAURA: Oh, that’s as high as I get

without a natural 20, man!

MATT: It’s a spell DC of 22, I’m sorry.

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: You and Pike both suffer 57

points of necrotic damage.

LAURA: Fucking shit!

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.

MATT: Grog, you take

half as much.

So, it’d be 28.

Twenty-eight points

necrotic damage.

Suddenly, you feel the

very air itself go gray.

The color is taken

from your vision

and your life force

is drawn out of you

through Abi-Dalzim’s

Horrid Wilting.

-SAM: Horde wilting?

-MATT: Horrid wilting.

The air is drawn

from your lungs.

You feel your skin crack and

tighten against your skeleton.

MARISHA: Adele Dazeem’s–

MATT: Adele Dazeem’s

Horrid Wilting.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Amazing, yes.

Change it, don’t

ever say it right.

MATT: That’s what it is now going forward.

LAURA: Man!

SAM: Are you alive?

LAURA: No, I’m– I’m unconscious,

so is Pike.

-Both of us.

-MATT: Oh, shit.

Well, Pike is

not unconscious.

(gasps)

LAURA: Pike came back.

MATT: Wait, did her armor

get used last battle?

-I don’t think it did.

-LAURA: It didn’t?

TRAVIS: It got used once,

where was it?

TALIESIN: Previously, in

a previous battle.

-LAURA: Against?

-TALIESIN: Fire giant.

LAURA: Oh, yeah.

TALIESIN: How do I remember this?

That’s horrifying.

MATT: The fire giant of–

TALIESIN: At the battle at the–

-LIAM: In the fire fort.

-MATT: To the fort, yes.

LAURA: Oh, at Fort Daxio.

-LIAM: Yep, yep, yep.

-MATT: You are correct.

LAURA: Okay, so Pike’s alive.

-MATT: With how many hit points?

MARISHA: Jesus, that was an eighth

level necromancy spell.

LAURA: No, no, no, she got

five hit points.

MATT: So, Pike is at

five hit points.

LAURA: And are there any eggs

within 15 feet of her?

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: Is there a Raishan

within 15 feet of her?

-MATT: Nope.

-LAURA: Well, then, fuck it.

MATT: But Vex plummets out of the

poison cloud off of her broom,

slams into the

ground and clatters,

spinning and falling

to the ground not moving.

LAURA: Thanks for knocking

over the little cube too.

I like that added.

TALIESIN: Backhanding it, no less.

-TRAVIS: Damn.

-MATT: Alrighty.

TRAVIS: Are there lasting effects

from Adele Nazeem’s wilting?

Like are we halved

or anything?

-MATT: From what you know, no.

-LAURA: “From what you know.”

TRAVIS: It just sucks right

now is all I know.

Everything just sucks.

SAM: Jesus!

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: So, that– that is gonna

end Raishan’s turn.

The form is still somewhat

visible, though, transparent.

It took her full movement

to even get to that point.

MARISHA: And where is she,

she still on the ceiling?

MATT: To give you a position, right now…

♪

It’s right there.

SAM: Forty, fifty feet up?

MATT: Though transparent.

It’s 50 feet up.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

TALIESIN: Oh, don’t do that then.

LAURA: Oh, I just remembered.

TALIESIN: You left the gas on.

TRAVIS: And she’s 40, 40 up?

MATT: Fifty feet up.

SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

MATT: So, Keyleth, what

are you doing?

MARISHA: Okay.

I can still see her a little bit.

SAM: This is a dragon fight, guys.

MATT: Yeah, you can barely make

out the– the outline.

MARISHA: Okay, so since

she’s in my cloud,

I’m going to kind of like,

do one of those sideways

arcing lightning strikes.

Just…

and arc everything

right towards that bitch.

MATT: Great, go for it.

MARISHA: She just takes

damage, right?

MATT: For Call Lightning, no,

you have to roll–

No, sorry, a creature has to

make a dexterity saving throw.

So, what’s your DC?

-MARISHA: Twenty.

-MATT: Twenty?

LAURA: How many lightnings

are heading towards her?

MATT: Nineteen.

Total of ten plus nine.

-MARISHA: Yes!

-TRAVIS: Wow!

MATT: That’s 4d10.

MARISHA: Yes, it is!

-SAM: Whoa.

-MATT: Lightning damage.

MARISHA: Yep, yep!

4d10.

-Okay, I rolled that.

-TALIESIN: You rolled well.

MARISHA: I rolled okay.

I actually rolled–

did roll real well.

You’re right,

I rolled well.

Nine, nine, 18.

Plus eight,

that is 26 damage.

MATT: Nice.

You watch as the form tries to

pull itself back into the cloud,

the cloud lights up

with this crackling

reddish pink

electrical energy

that then turns to

a bright burning red

as it arcs past

and slams into her.

You watch the energy arc

across the body of

Raishan, the dragon.

(snarling)

TALIESIN: Does she have to make

a concentration save?

-MATT: She does.

-TALIESIN: To remain invisible?

MATT: Yeah, she’s fine.

TRAVIS: “Yeah, she’s fine.”

Fifty-seven.

MARISHA: I still have

movement, right?

MATT: You do, yes.

Your full movement,

you haven’t moved yet.

You just pulled it

down in that one moment.

MARISHA: I am going to head towards

the egg that got cracked open

that’s in the center there.

MATT: Over there?

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-MATT: Okay.

You can go all

the way over to it.

MARISHA: Can I do a bonus action

to like, examine?

MATT: I mean, you can make a

perception check and look at it.

If you want to

rummage through it,

that’ll probably

take your action.

MARISHA: Okay, I’ll do just a

perception check right now.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Twenty-three.

MATT: Okay, as

soon as you rush up

and get a glance at it,

you can see that a lot of the

dark, purplish maroon fluid

that filled most of the egg

is just coating the

outside of the egg’s shell

and there are a series of

rocks and pieces of rubble

from the initial

meteor swam impact

that has just

sundered this egg.

It’s about half the

height of the others,

it’s just all that’s been

kinda collapsed inward.

This egg is ruined.

TALIESIN: So, we have two ruined

eggs at this point.

MARISHA: And no sign of a–

SAM: And one almost ruined.

MARISHA: And no sign of

a dragon baby?

MATT: Nothing you can see.

MARISHA: Alright.

TALIESIN: Might be just deep

in there and flattened.

MARISHA: Flattened, yeah,

that’s my turn.

TALIESIN: Could have just

been a bad egg.

MATT: Ending Keyleth’s turn,

that brings us to Gilmore.

Gilmore watching

this happen,

watching Vex go down.

Let’s see what he does here.

(indistinct muttering)

MARISHA: Oh, that’s funny.

TALIESIN: Like five of

them in here.

Do something about this.

MATT: Okay, as Raishan’s form

is up there he goes,

(sighs)

“Not today, not ever!”

And releases

his hand like this

and you watch as a burst

of strangely shifting

rippling arcane energy

similar to the same ripple

that is shrouding Raishan

seems to kind of scatter

up in that direction.

He’s going to attempt to…

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: With his successful

dispel magic, Raishan–

the form becomes

completely visible now.

The invisibility

has worn off.

And is now standing

completely visible.

As this happens, Raishan…

(snarls)

“I will enjoy eating

the flesh from your bones.”

SAM: Oh.

Did she say “balls”?

LAURA: Yeah, definitely.

MATT: Definitely said balls. No.

MARISHA: Dragon delicacy.

MATT: Gilmore is then going to…

Gilmore goes from

excitement to “Shit.”

TRAVIS: Not my balls!

MATT: He’s going to– knowing the

tactics that are being used,

he’s gonna try to spread out

form the rest of the group.

Over here towards the

destroyed egg across the wall.

That’s going to

end Gilmore’s turn.

This brings us to Grog.

TRAVIS: Uh, can I get up, please?

-MATT: You can.

-TALIESIN: Get on up.

LAURA: Get on up!

TRAVIS: Can I see Vex

sprawled out?

MATT: You do, yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah, can I run to Vex?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: (humming)

I have one really– what’s

the really big potion?

-Is it the Superior?

-LIAM: Superior.

TRAVIS: I have one of those.

Can I shove it in her gullet?

MATT: You can, it’ll take

your action to do it.

LAURA: Oh.

You don’t have

to Grog, it’s okay.

I mean–

TRAVIS: Okay, I want you

to reroll a character.

Here we go.

I’m going to take

my axe and–

Yeah, I shove

it in her mouth.

MATT: Superior, that

is 8d4 plus 8.

TRAVIS: Oh, I got to roll it?

-MATT: Yeah.

-TRAVIS: Oh, gee– oh man.

LAURA: Wait, 8d4.

(indistinct)

Whoa, 17.

-TRAVIS: Twenty-four.

-LIAM: Plus eight.

-TRAVIS: Thirty-two.

-LAURA: Thirty-two?

That was insane, Grog!

MATT: So with that, your eyes

come into focus, Vex,

as you feel the clatter

of glass against your teeth,

the vial being

pulled from your mouth.

You kind of

cough for a second.

Come into conscious as Grog,

in his giant form,

cradling you like a tiny baby

in his one giant mitt.

Just kind of smiles.

TALIESIN: It’s like a

Terry Gilliam movie.

LAURA: “Thanks.”

(snarls)

(laughing)

Go rage!

MATT: Alright, don’t forget you do

have a point of exhaustion,

as you’ve gone– unless

you’ve continued your rage

this whole time,

which you can, so never mind.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just

rolling through.

MATT: You got that now.

You’re just

like a freak.

TRAVIS: I might have

chipped a tooth…

LAURA: All good.

All good, all good.

TRAVIS: Like Mentos and Coke.

MATT: You’re like drink it, drink it.

Alright, great,

that ends Grog’s turn.

Vex, you are conscious,

prone, but conscious.

LAURA: God, okay.

Fuck.

Can I shoot from my

laying down position?

MATT: You can, I’d say your attacks

would have disadvantage.

LAURA: Okay, then I’m gonna get

up on my knee and shoot up.

Cause I just wake up and see

her right above me, don’t I?

MATT: Yep, you do.

LAURA: Alright, then

I’m gonna try to–

Oh wait, I already

used Brambleshot,

or at least,

I tried to today.

MATT: You did, yeah.

LAURA: So, I’m gonna shoot her.

MATT: Do it!

LAURA: Can I Hunter’s Mark

her first, though?

MATT: You certainly can.

LAURA: Hey!

I don’t get

sneak attack.

Nobody’s near her, right?

MATT: That was–

that was great.

Gilmore rolled a 19 on the dispel.

LAURA: Nineteen?

MATT: Yeah, that was

really good.

LAURA: Oh, that’s

what I rolled.

-MATT: Oh, did you?

-LAURA: As well.

MATT: Nice, look at that, you

and Gilmore just synchronizing.

-MATT: And 19’s your total?

-LAURA: Yeah.

-MATT: Misses.

-LAURA: Fuckin’ A.

That one,

I hope, 28.

MATT: Hits.

LAURA: Okay, so 28

on the second one.

Oh God, what’s

happening?

MARISHA: I don’t know.

LAURA: Sixteen plus three

points of lightning.

TALIESIN: I’m not gonna

play that game, man.

Not playing.

I’m not playing

this game no more.

It’s not the time.

MATT: Did you include your

damage for it being a dragon?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Alright.

So now you can

see Raishan emerging

from one of the

volcanic caves.

The storm’s

swirling around her,

as she begins to

pull back into it,

you fire two arrows.

One gets lost, the other one–

(snarling)

Into the side

of her throat.

LAURA: Can I move–

can I move…

MATT: You move three squares.

LAURA: Can I get on my broom?

MATT: You get onto

your broom, yeah.

LAURA: Like move a

one square away.

-MATT: One square?

-LAURA: Yeah.

Away from Grog

and Pike, yeah.

Like that makes

any difference, but–

-MATT: Okay, perfect.

-TALIESIN: It’s a start.

LAURA: Thanks, Grog.

TRAVIS: (snarls)

MATT: Ends Vex’s turn,

Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: Okay, just to clarify,

so looking at the minis.

The back side’s

to me, but really,

her face is poking

out of a hole, right?

MATT: Like the front half is.

LIAM: Front half of

her and she’s–

and she’s at the roof

which is 70 feet up,

so maybe her head is

down, like, five feet out,

ten feet out,

something like that?

MATT: Roughly, yeah.

LIAM: Alright, I want to,

and I’m–I’m back, right?

-After…

-MATT: You have now–

Yeah, you’ve regained

your composure.

However your other

potion has now worn off.

-You are no longer–

-LAURA: Invulnerable?

-LIAM: I want to fly–

-LAURA: Oh!

-LIAM: Go ahead.

-LAURA: My hasted had worn off, right?

I just assumed

it had, okay.

LIAM: So, if I’m 15 feet up

and she’s, maybe, 65 down,

I’m within range for

sharpshooter already.

MATT: Technically, yeah.

LIAM: So, and– and

last question.

When you do– for

duel wielding, action–

bonus action, but you told

me once you can reverse that

and do bonus

action and action.

I think.

MATT: The bonus attack is part

of your attack action,

so it’s actually

after your–

LIAM: Never mind then.

I’m gonna fly

straight at her face,

and I’m gonna shove the Dragon

Slayer sword into her mouth

and I want to try to sever her

fucking tongue out of her mouth.

-SAM: Oh!

-LAURA: Whoa!

LIAM: Terrible.

Whisper, I’m gonna do the same

thing with the bonus action.

That is 26.

MATT: Twenty-six to

hit, that hits.

♪

LIAM: Ten plus four,

psychic damage 14.

MATT: Fourteen points of damage.

Okay, so you go

for the tongue

and you get the

blade up to the mouth.

Suddenly, her looking down

and having a very,

very wide view of the entire

battlefield is very advantageous

from her perspective.

She sees you out of the

corner of her eye,

she turns to try

and snap at you,

and the jaws come down

and catch the blade.

So, it doesn’t

go for the tongue,

but you use that momentum to

glide it up the actual tooth

and jam it into the gum.

You manage to slam up there

and the blood spurts

out from the wound and–

(snarls)

Rears back and so now

you’re kind of flying up

by her face now.

LIAM: I should have like

10 or 15 movement left

with 60 for wings, yeah?

If I was 15 feet up and she

was a little less than 70?

MATT: Fifteen feet up, yes, but

you’re also coming at an angle,

which, you lose

distance on that.

LIAM: So am I at zero?

MATT: You’re pretty

much at zero, yeah.

LAURA: Ooh, like right

in front of her face.

-TRAVIS: Just stay there like Tinkerbell.

LIAM: Okay. All done.

MATT: That ends your turn.

TRAVIS: You are grounded.

MATT: At the end of your turn,

she’s going to use

another legendary action.

To do a tail

attack against you.

She pulls part of

her torso out for a moment,

and her tail whips

out in your direction

to try and slam into you.

That is a 19 plus,

what is it, 32.

LIAM: Don’t think that

hits actually.

So I’ll use

Uncanny Dodge.

MATT: That’s gonna be 24 points

of bludgeoning damage

reduced to 12,

so there you go.

Alright, that brings

us to Kima’s turn.

Kima finally arrives.

-MARISHA: Kima!

-SAM: Hey!

TRAVIS: Slow poke!

MATT: “Seriously?”

That’s her turn.

TRAVIS: That Holy Avenger’s

real heavy.

MATT: So that brings us to Pike.

Actually, no at the

end of Kima’s turn,

let’s see here.

Raishan’s gonna use

another legendary action

to attempt another

tail attack against you,

since you’re

within range.

-That is a…

-LIAM: 10,000.

MATT: Twenty-one to hit.

-LIAM: Shit, it just hits.

-MATT: Just hits?

Okay.

Seventeen points of

bludgeoning damage.

Yeah, go and halve that.

She’s used all of her legendary actions

for this round.

Okay.

TRAVIS: All legendary– did you hear that?

MATT: Pike.

-TRAVIS: Pike’s up.

-LAURA: Okay.

I think we

should do…

But okay, if she

does Flame Strike

can she focus it

on the ceiling?

Or does it have

to be on the ground?

MATT: No, it can– I’d say–

let me pull it up

real fast here.

It roars down from the

Heavens in all locations,

so it doesn’t come

out of the floor,

it comes out of the

ceiling, so yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

So, it’s her

level five spell.

-LIAM: Okay, aim it at–

-LAURA: At Raishan?

At Raishan’s butt,

not at Vax.

MATT: Raishan currently,

only visible,

is about maybe

10 feet or so of–

actually pulling

out the tail attack,

I’d say about 15 feet.

So if she’s careful, yeah,

she could probably hit

Raishan and not hit Vax.

-LAURA: Pike is always careful.

-TRAVIS: So careful.

LAURA: She’s the carefulest.

MATT: Fair enough.

LAURA: Okay.

So, wow, that’s

a really big–

Sixty feet, damn.

TRAVIS: That’s good shit.

LAURA: So, that’s 4d6

plus 4d6 radiant.

MATT: It’s gonna be close.

Yeah, roughly about

55 feet up on the ceiling.

With that 60 foot range,

she can just hit Raishan

with the column, so yeah.

-LAURA: Okay.

-MATT: So that is 8d6 damage.

LAURA: Okay, wow.

MATT: Go ahead

and roll that.

Raishan makes a save–

LAURA: I roll five and

you roll three.

MATT: So a dexterity

saving throw.

LAURA: Oh, just kidding.

MATT: Twenty-seven, I’m

pretty sure that saves.

LAURA: No, I want

to roll some.

I roll, I’ll roll three.

You roll five.

♪

-LIAM: Eighteen.

-LAURA: Thirteen.

MATT: And also makes a

concentration check from your attack earlier.

LAURA: Thirty-five.

-SAM: No.

-LAURA: No.

-SAM: Thirty-one.

-LAURA: Thirty-one.

-MATT: Thirty-one?

-LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So half

that to 15.

Fifteen points

of damage.

MARISHA: Benefit of the doubt.

MATT: Alright, cool, got it.

LAURA: Why half?

TALIESIN: She made her

saving throw.

TRAVIS: At 27.

MATT: Sorry.

So, you just barely

move out of the way

as you watch a familiar

gathering of radiant energy

up in the ceiling.

You see the glimmer

in the corner

of Raishan’s

slick eyeballs

recessed within the

green armor-plated face.

of the dragon as

all of a sudden–

A great column of fire

and radiant energy

blasts Raishan in

the side of the face.

LAURA: And she’s gonna back

up towards the opening

towards the

entrance a bit.

-Yeah, like right there.

-MATT: Right there?

That’s as far as

she can get right there.

Cool.

SAM: Does she have

a bonus action?

LAURA: She’s got a

bonus action.

-SAM: Heal herself?

-MARISHA: Is it Healing Word?

LAURA: Oh, yeah,

she can, right?

'Cause she can use

a level two or less.

So, yeah,

she’ll do a level–

she doesn’t have

any level two’s left.

She’ll do a level one

Healing Word on herself.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, God, she’s

at five hit points.

-SAM: Yeah, I know.

-TALIESIN: Not anymore.

LAURA: She’s–she’s

Pike though.

This is what

she would have done.

-TALIESIN: She’s now at–

-LAURA: I think.

TALIESIN: What does the

level one Healing Word do?

SAM: It’s 1d4 plus five

or something like that.

MARISHA: It does an

additional d4.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Right?

No, sorry,

just one d4.

LAURA: One d4 plus five,

so yeah, seven.

TALIESIN: So, she’s at

12 hit points now.

-SAM: Double dig!

-LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That’s better.

-MARISHA: Double dig!

-TALIESIN: That’s–

SAM: What’s that look, Matt?

TRAVIS: Seven points of

healing, so yeah.

MATT: Cool, does that

end your turn?

-TRAVIS: Yep.

-LIAM: Yep.

MATT: Good, Scanlan, you’re up.

SAM: Okay.

I don’t know, man,

this looks rough in here.

I don’t want

to be in here.

(laughing)

I’ll move forward

and to the left a bit.

MATT: That’s about as

far as you can go.

SAM: Sorry, to my right.

To the right,

four to the right.

Oh, man.

It’s a rough fight.

But we’re winning,

right, now, guys?

We’re winning, we don’t

need any help, do we?

LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: Did you forget?

LAURA: I totally forgot!

MARISHA: How could you forget?

It’s like all

I’ve thought about.

TRAVIS: I will cuddle you,

I will cuddle.

LAURA: I even wrote–

TALIESIN: He’s not gonna do it

until Ashley’s dead.

LAURA: I wrote a limerick.

MARISHA: Ashley is almost–

-SAM: You wrote a limerick?

-LAURA: For you.

SAM: For me? To do what?

LAURA: Wait, wait,

I forgot I did it.

“Have you heard tale

of Scanlan, the bold?

He won’t tell us his age,

but he’s old.

With his blade,

he’s a slayer,

with the ladies,

a player,

but if he picks up the

flute, he’s pure gold.”

MARISHA: Hey!

(applause, laughing)

SAM: Alright, so I’m gonna

do Lightning Bolt.

LAURA: Goddammit!

(laughter)

SAM: I will– I assume that

Scanlan feels strange

with a brass flute

touching his lips,

because he’s never

played one before.

MATT: This is true.

SAM: But does it still come out just

as beautiful and pure as always?

MATT: Roll a performance check.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: I’m so nervous,

I’m about to cry.

-SAM: Thirty.

-MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: In the midst of this chaos,

the rumbling of the room,

the sound of the lightning

and thunder in the clouds,

the falling of rock and

soot from the ceiling

is drowned out by

what sounds like

the most beautiful

clear flute.

It just trills…

(whistling)

SAM: ♪ Call the dragon ♪

(all humming)

♪ Call the dragon ♪♪

MATT: You finish the song

as you watch the brass glow.

It begins to

kinda give this–

this weird shine around

it that begins to emanate

this kind of

additional warmth

and light from it

and then it dulls

and the brass

goes to a very tarnished

dark metal material.

TALIESIN: It’s Amazon Prime.

It’s gonna take three days

but it’s gonna be here.

SAM: I’ve played better.

MATT: You watch the flute ping

in the hallway behind him.

-So that’s your action.

-SAM: Okay.

As a bonus, I will–

Boy, everyone’s

dying, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Pike’s near me, so I’ll turn

and give her a

level two Healing Word.

-MATT: Okay.

-SAM: As well.

And I will sing to her:

♪ I’ve got Mythcarver

in my pocket ♪

♪ Got that sunshine

on my feet ♪

♪ When I dance and

prance around you ♪

♪ You just stop ♪

♪ Hoo! ♪

MARISHA: ♪ Hoo! ♪

SAM: ♪ And I dance

so very handsome ♪

♪ And I sing phenomenally ♪

♪ There’s just something

bout that gnome ♪

♪ That makes me smile ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

MARISHA: ♪ Woo! ♪♪

MATT: Alrighty.

MATT: Pike takes her inspiration die.

SAM: Uh, no, not inspiration,

healing, healing.

So, wait, I got

to roll or she rolls?

MATT: You roll for her.

SAM: Okay, ooh.

Oh, boy.

(groaning)

(laughter)

-SAM: Eight.

-MATT: She heals eight points.

SAM: She’s up to 20!

-TALIESIN: She can almost drink.

-MARISHA: She can drink next year.

MATT: Alrighty, ending Scanlan’s turn,

brings us to the top.

Percival, your turn.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to…

Yeah, this is fine.

SAM: ♪ Can’t stop ♪♪

TALIESIN: I’m going to–

this is fine.

I’m going to take

some shots with Animus

at that awful bastard at the

top of the cave.

First shot, and I’m not making

it a sharpshooter shot,

I’m just shooting.

That’s good too.

Oh, that’s not bad, 24.

MATT: 24 hits.

TALIESIN: Alright.

LAURA: Look at all those pots

of gold in the corners.

TALIESIN: That’s 13 points plus five

points of psychic damage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And another shot.

TRAVIS: Shot.

TALIESIN: And that’s, uh, that’s–

Oh, that’s not bad.

That’s two points of

psychic damage to me.

MATT: Oh, buddy!

-SAM: He’s already unhinged.

-TALIESIN: So that’s 54.

So, that was like

thankfully, just an ow!

I’m just putting it away.

I’m just gonna

try and pull–

pull out the big gun and take

one last shot while I’m–

while I’m–

well, actually, no,

that knocks out my

attacks, doesn’t it?

Cause it’s a

psychic damage.

MATT: Well, I was gonna say,

the psychic damage doesn’t

negate your attacks.

TALIESIN: I don’t have time

to switch guns.

No, cause the psychic damage

knocks that out if I recall.

MATT: No, psychic damage

doesn’t affect the way–

TALIESIN: So, do I have

time to just try

and get one more

potshot out or am I–

MATT: Was Bad News prepared?

TALIESIN: It was fine, it

was working fine.

-MATT: It was fine.

-TALIESIN: Yeah.

Nothing’s broke,

well, now…

MATT: Now it is, yeah.

TALIESIN: Now that’s broken, okay.

So, and now Bad News,

here we go.

LIAM: Come on, Golden Snitch!

Do it!

TALIESIN: Natural 20!

-LAURA: Yes!

-TRAVIS: On cue!

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Thank you, baby.

Okay.

MATT: So, that’ll hit.

TALIESIN: Yeah, let’s–

let’s take–

Let’s take–

SAM: Weird critical

things here?

TALIESIN: I don’t do any

weird critical thing

other than doing

a lot of damage.

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: Although, where’s my–

I do have, okay, so–

That does a

lot of damage.

(talking over each other)

-MARISHA: Amazing.

-TALIESIN: Double dice.

TRAVIS: Come on,

you deranged–

LIAM: Find one thing

and do it well.

TALIESIN: Not bad, okay, that’s–

31 points of damage.

-MATT: Alright.

-TALIESIN: That’ll do.

MATT: Very nice.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s 4d12,

plus six, so.

And now I’m gonna hide

behind that dragon egg.

MATT: Alright, so you move behind

the dragon egg right there.

TALIESIN: Yep.

Oh, and that means I get

a grit point back ah-ha!

I can actually do

a thing, that’s good.

Okay, alrighty.

SAM: So, things are turning around

ever since that limerick.

LIAM: Watch this, I’m gonna

get turned

into pulled pork right now.

MATT: Well, it’s the

lair actions now.

So in this one…

TALIESIN: The Earth itself

turns against us.

(rumbles)

MATT: From beneath

your feet, Grog,

you feel and you look down

just as the rock splits

and a spray of–

a tiny geyser of molten rock

just sprays outward.

You try and move out

of the way in time,

but sprays across you,

Pike, Scanlan and Vex.

So I need you guys all to make

dexterity saving throws.

LAURA: You want to

make it for me?

SAM: Natural 20, 25.

MATT: Whoo! That’ll do.

TALIESIN: There’s nothing

natural about 25.

Purely artificial, you’ve

had work done on that 20.

-SAM: This is LA.

-TALIESIN: This is LA.

MARISHA: Lot of LA things

right back to back.

-It’s overwhelming.

-TALIESIN: Man.

TRAVIS: 21.

-MATT: 21? Succeeds.

-LAURA: Twenty.

MATT: Succeeds, Pike?

LIAM: Eleven for Pike.

MATT: Pike does

not succeed.

SAM: 20, 25.

MATT: Succeed, alright, so, you

guys who all succeeded,

you take 12 points

of fire damage.

Half of you

are resistant.

-SAM: So six.

-MATT: Just six.

Pike takes 12 points

of fire damage

because she’s resistant even

though she failed her save.

-LAURA: Okay.

-MARISHA: Oh, that’s good.

That’s good.

LAURA: So she’s still up.

-SAM: She’s still alive!

-TALIESIN: She’s still alive.

SAM: Because of me, let’s just

go on record and say that.

TALIESIN: I’ll go with that.

LIAM: Can you say

it in Spanish?

SAM: No, I cannot.

-TALIESIN: Pike.

-SAM: Yo no soy Marinado.

Alright, that brings us

back to Raishan’s turn.

LAURA: Oh God, oh God.

MATT: Gets her legendary

actions back.

TRAVIS: It’s cool,

you can just go.

MATT: Given the current

circumstance…

TALIESIN: No.

No.

MATT: Raishan is going

to unleash…

TRAVIS: Handshake?

MATT: She’s going to unleash a full

round of attacks against you

as you are right up in her face

and stabbed her in the gums

and avoided the entirety

of her meteor swarm

and you also

attacked her.

TALIESIN: In defense, she had

some corn stuck in her–

LAURA: Yeah, he really

was helping.

It’d been there for like–

MATT: And she appreciates that,

but the rest of the

stuff is still a problem.

TALIESIN: I’m trying not

to say anything.

MATT: That is 22 to

hit with a bite.

LIAM: That just hits,

Uncanny Dodge.

SAM: Maybe you should remind

her that we have a deal.

We’re supposed to

be working together.

MATT: 22, well,

yeah, so they all hit.

SAM: What happened to

our deal, Raishan?

LIAM: The first one is Uncanny

and then the rest are–

MATT: Correct, so the

bite attack is halved.

Which is good.

That’ll be 22 points

of piercing damage

and you got the warm

tingle earlier, right?

You also suffer

ten points

of poison damage.

SAM: Ten points of poison?

LAURA: Even though he’s

immune to poison?

MATT: He’s not immune to poison.

-LAURA: He’s not?

-MATT: No.

LIAM: Not from that– so that

our Hero’s Feast does nothing.

LAURA: It was Dispel, she dispelled

our Heroes’ Feast.

That’s what that

fucking shit was.

-TRAVIS: Oh!

-LIAM: Is that the total–

MATT: That was the bite attack.

So that whole

attack is halved.

The poison damage and the

piercing you took is halved.

The claw attack…

SAM: There was a shimmering and

you didn’t feel anything.

MATT: 26 points of piercing damage.

LIAM: Vax is falling.

(gasps)

SAM: Oh, no.

MATT: And the tail bats

you on the way down.

You guys watch as the

darkened wings of Vax go limp

and he just plummets.

MARISHA: Oh, boy.

SAM: That’s gonna be–

MATT: Roll a d20.

LAURA: Oh, God.

LIAM: Is this a death save?

MATT: No, this is a trajectory.

MARISHA: Oh my God, please

don’t land in the lava.

MATT: You smack right

into the edge,

but not into

the magma river.

You hear the cracking sound

of bones breaking upon impact

and the wings

themselves broken.

Feathers falling and burning

within the molten rock.

The wings slowly

fold in and curl

like a spider

dying and vanish.

LIAM: That sucks.

SAM: Forever?

LAURA: No, not forever!

TALIESIN: He just went unconscious.

MATT: And with that…

TALIESIN: Something’s gotta

be done about that.

TRAVIS: You are Anakin

on the riverbed.

MARISHA: Totally.

TALIESIN: Magma is practically like your

arch nemesis to be fair.

LIAM: I don’t– I don’t know.

MATT: Raishan is going to move.

(pieces crash)

(shouts)

MATT: Kima, no!

-MARISHA: Poor Kima!

-SAM: Bye.

I just got here!

(indistinct talking)

MATT: Alrighty.

And as she emerges now, after

knocking you out of the air,

wings fully out, Raishan…

(snarling)

“You’re next.”

And then swoops over

and is now floating

over the lava pool

over that way.

And appears to be

preparing for something.

LIAM: Have I got any automatic

fails in a death save?

MATT: Yes, you did fail a death saving

throw from hitting the ground.

-LIAM: Hitting the ground?

-MATT: Yes.

SAM: As she does that, I yell out,

“Could you be more specific?

Who is next, who?

Oh, we didn’t see who you

were looking at over here.

No?

Alright, guess

we’ll find out.”

TRAVIS: I was so preoccupied,

I missed it.

MATT: That ends Raishan’s turn.

Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: Okay, so Keyleth,

pretty pissed off

from seeing her boyfriend

spiked from the sky.

I’m going to

kinda get a few,

well, no, I guess

I can stay here.

Kind of above the lava

create a swirling

angry lava vortex

of lightning and fire

and I’m gonna hit her

again with lightning.

MATT: Okay.

Make her save.

Save 12 plus nine that

is 21, which does save.

MARISHA: Yeah, she saved.

MATT: So takes half damage,

so 14 then halved.

MARISHA: Okay, not too bad.

Twelve, 14 plus

seven, 21 total.

Half damage.

MATT: Okay, so ten points

of lightning damage.

MARISHA: Not great.

MATT: Okay, did you want to move or

you gonna stay where you are?

MARISHA: Um…

TALIESIN: You can’t heal as a

bonus action, can you?

MARISHA: No, I can’t do anything.

Does– does Vax look like he’s

about to fall in the lava?

MATT: Vax is approximately

one foot

from the edge

of the river.

SAM: One third my size.

TRAVIS: Is it flat or is it…

MATT: It’s slightly domed in.

MARISHA: Do you have flame

resistance right now?

Yeah, you said

you’re flame resistant.

TALIESIN: On the armor.

MARISHA: Okay, so I’m gonna

use my movement then.

I’m gonna be very careful

to make sure I touch the armor,

the Raven Queen armor

and I’m going to see if

I can just fire elemental

like roll him away

from the edge a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: The armor is set

to flame resistance.

MATT: Yes, it is.

TRAVIS: I thought you were

saying you were gonna like

roll him in the lava.

MARISHA: It’s been nice.

(talking over each other)

MATT: I will say– I will say the

touch of a fire elemental

ignites whatever

it touches.

It’s kind of the

essence of the element.

MARISHA: But he has

fire resistance.

MATT: Right, which means

he’ll take half damage

from any fire

that you deal.

However, being the fact

that you are in

control of your form

you’re not

trying to hurt something,

I would say that you could

carefully push him aside

and I’ll allow you

a death saving throw

as opposed to just

taking straight damage.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: I’m making a–

LIAM: I’m rolling an advantage.

MATT: An advantage because

of your armor, yeah.

LIAM: Twelve, succeed.

So, we’re good,

we’re good.

MARISHA: We’re cool,

we’re good.

SAM: Here, let me help you.

Oh God, I killed him.

LIAM: I feel like in another dimension

this didn’t go so well.

MATT: So you kind of

roll him over…

MARISHA: That would be the

most Keyleth thing to do.

I love you so– oh God,

I killed the thing I love.

SAM: Oh my God, George, I hugged

the puppy really hard.

LIAM: No, no, no!

MARISHA: I’m sorry, George.

MATT: You barely move him,

you only get him five feet

from being so careful.

You could have moved him

further, but he would have–

been ignited in the process.

TRAVIS: Oh my God.

TALIESIN: I got that

extension so bad.

MATT: Does that end your turn?

MARISHA: I’m gonna then take a few

steps back away from him now.

MATT: Okay, back this way,

back where you were?

MARISHA: Yeah, yes.

TRAVIS: You would have turned

into a vestige.

TALIESIN: I don’t got to

pretend I’m (indistinct).

MATT: Okay, that ends your turn?

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-MATT: Okay.

At the end of your turn.

Raishan is still overhead

and casts a spell.

-LIAM: Duvet, Duvall?

-TRAVIS: Duvet.

MATT: Alrighty.

You watch as Raishan

over on the edge…

her front claws

begin to form

this strange

geometric sigil

in the middle of the air

and each corner of it

is a different color.

Green, orange, yellow,

red, purple, blue.

And suddenly

this giant burst–

SAM: Can I try to

counterspell her?

MATT: What’s the

range on that?

SAM: 60 feet,

am I just there?

MARISHA: Come on, Scanlan.

LAURA: Oh God, Scanlan.

TRAVIS: What is she casting?

MATT: She’s within range!

-LAURA: Oh, God!

-TALIESIN: Please, please!

Please kill it!

MATT: d20 add six.

SAM: Eighteen.

MATT: You rolled an 18?

SAM: No, I rolled a 12.

MATT: You rolled a 12,

that’s an 18 total?

It is a…

Hold on a second.

TALIESIN: God, I can’t breathe.

MATT: I’m pretty sure…

SAM: I get a plus two for–

MATT: Right, oh, I know.

The sigil– as the

burst of colored light

begins to spray forward,

you watch as it just…

(cheering)

LAURA: Scanlan! MVP!

LIAM: Vax wakes up for

two seconds, says,

“You da man!” and

then lies back down.

(laughter)

MATT: Shit.

I never get to

use Prismatic Spray.

TRAVIS: That was a day

ruiner, right?

Day ruiner.

(talking over each other)

There’s no chance that was

like a healing spray, was it?

LIAM: Probably not.

TRAVIS: Like the gesture

of surrender?

LIAM: It was kind of

like rainbows.

TALIESIN: It’s the angriest Captain

Planet– it’s just the worst–

MARISHA: Like the most fucked

up Care Bear stare.

MATT: Alright, so, as the

spell dissipates…

Raishan angrily…

SAM: ♪ You got eggs and

you gonna lose 'em ♪

♪ You got eggs ♪♪

LAURA: Oh God.

MATT: Alright, so that ends–

that ends Keyleth’s turn.

That brings us to Gilmore.

Now, Gilmore over here is–

what else does he have

left in the tank here?

He’s gonna do a level

four Lightning Bolt.

TALIESIN: Chromatic spray.

SAM: Chromatic spray could have

been many things though.

TALIESIN: Yes, but they’re all bad.

-It’s a wheel of death.

-SAM: And they’re all bad.

One of them’s

like 70 points of…

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-TALIESIN: Of just– just goop.

MARISHA: Each color

is like bad.

MATT: Gilmore is going to…

TALIESIN: It’s a great way of dealing

with people who are–

who are attuned

to deal with you.

(indistinct talking)

TALIESIN: You were looking

at that for a while.

SAM: Yeah, I was, it was good.

-It looks good.

-TALIESIN: It’s really good.

-It’s very you too.

-SAM: Rainbow colored.

MATT: Sorry.

LAURA: Check out those

Gilmore t-shirts.

MATT: I know, sorry, I’m

checking to make sure

he can do this cause this

is what he’s trying to do.

LIAM: Gilmore’s wearing

one right now.

SAM: Hey, Laura, are those

key chains laser etched?

LAURA: Why, they are!

It’s so funny

you should ask.

SAM: Wow, what about the–

LAURA: So precise.

SAM: Did I say the key chain

or the necklace?

What about the necklace?

MATT: So, Gilmore–

Gilmore runs up.

And just vanishes

from his place

and instantly blinks

up over into this area

using his misty step

as his bonus action.

And looks upward.

“How do you like it?”

Raises his hand

and pulls this way.

You watch as this

necromantic energy

begins to gather

around his hands.

A familiar spell

to you, Keyleth.

As you watch the

diseased blackened veins

up the side of Raishan’s

body begin to spread

and grow momentarily

and kind of begin to–

to dig their way

into her throat.

She begins

to pull backward,

unfamiliar with this

sudden internal pain.

Rolls a natural

20 for her save.

But regardless,

that’s still–

LAURA: I like how he genuinely

looked kind of disappointed

though that

he rolled a 20.

TRAVIS: I think he’s just–

LAURA: It made me–

it made me feel great.

LIAM: He’s a really good actor.

SAM: See, we’re not even

gonna need the flute guy.

LAURA: I hope he shows up.

I hope he’s not like…

TALIESIN: No, a month from

now he’s gonna show up.

TRAVIS: Attacking like

his carry-on?

SAM: He’s at TSA right now.

“I have nothing

else metal on me.

I don’t– oh, I’m bronze.”

MATT: Seventeen points of necrotic

damage to Raishan with the save.

That’s Gilmore’s

turn there.

That brings us to…

Grog.

-TRAVIS: Me?

-MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Your dragon-based humor

is way too tight right now.

TRAVIS: Can I run

over with Shaun?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Can I attach the Chain

of Returning to the axe?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Then, can I swing

it really hard and go,

“Yeah, catchphrase!”

and throw it up.

(laughter)

MATT: Yes, you can.

TRAVIS: Good, reckless, please.

MATT: Yes, you may.

-SAM: Laura.

-TRAVIS: That’s a natural 20.

-MARISHA: Whoo!

-MATT: Oh, shit!

Alright.

TRAVIS: Oh, and with the

brutal critical,

I get two additional…

MATT: Yeah, two additional

d12’s to that,

so roll the die first.

Plus don’t forget you

double the necrotic die.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I do double it?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Yes!

TRAVIS: That’s a six,

so that’s 12.

I’m enlarged. Where’s the triangle,

who took the triangle?

LAURA: I don’t– here you go.

TALIESIN: You got like

valley girl on that.

“Who took the triangle?”

TRAVIS: That’s 29 and then

two additional d12.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Nine, 38.

Ten, 48.

MATT: 48?

Okay.

LAURA: Did you double

those extras?

Do you double

those dice as well?

-TRAVIS: No.

-LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Brutal critical, you get

two additional damage

die on my roll.

MATT: Okay, so, as you rush up,

“Catchphrase!”

and throw the

axe sideways.

It arcs upward and

Raishan is currently

kind of reeling

from the dispel

and angrily yelling

into the room in draconic.

Gets partway into a phrase,

just finishing…

(roaring)

The axe just jams into the

side of her collarbone

and front torso area and…

The axe is still kind of wedged

there, are you gonna pull back?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll

pull it back.

MATT: So go ahead

and roll your…

TALIESIN: I don’t know why you’re

looking over here for that.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I got it. 23.

MATT: So, yanking the axe, dislodges

itself and you catch it.

You see it’s covered

in Raishan blood.

As you pull the axe back, you

watch as something just, like,

a flash of arcane

energy around her,

and some sort of spell,

uncast by her,

just seemingly

automatically just

kind of surrounds her

and her flying

begins to speed up.

LAURA: She got hasted?

-MARISHA: But how?

-LAURA: How?

TRAVIS: I didn’t know

I was this powerful.

What the fuck happened?

LAURA: How did she get hasted?

LIAM: Well, we’ll find out.

LAURA: What if the brass

dragon’s helping her?

TALIESIN: Or what if the eggs

are helping her?

MATT: Yeah, you have

maybe 15 more feet.

TALIESIN: I don’t know, I just like

putting things out there.

TRAVIS: Rolling towards that end

of the map as far as I go.

MATT: This end, sure.

LAURA: That end of the map.

TRAVIS: Can I go that way?

Yeah, that’s cool.

-Cool.

-MATT: Great.

LAURA: Oh God.

MATT: That puts you at

the end of your turn.

She’s gonna use

legendary action.

At this point in her kind of,

sped up form, she begins to…

(chanting)

And there’s a slight

ripple again in the air

similar to what Gilmore

did towards Raishan

early part of the battle.

Let me see the…

TALIESIN: We’re making some bad groupings

there, by the way, people.

MATT: Yeah.

You feel a kind

of a strange warmth

and tingling sensation

within your body, Scanlan.

SAM: Oh, what, me?

But I didn’t

do anything.

TALIESIN: You relieve

yourself gently.

LAURA: Did you just pee?

TALIESIN: I cast Tinkle.

SAM: I don’t get to save or

anything, it just happens?

MATT: It’s not a save, it’s

against an effect on you

and she rolls to–

just like how you roll

to overcome her

spell’s counter spell,

she gets to roll

to overcome

whatever effect is on

you with dispel magic.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: So, that’s gonna be the last

of her legendary actions.

LAURA: She just dispelled all of us.

Can we bust out

a feast right now?

-Just like sit down.

-TALIESIN: We can make eggs benedict.

We have the makings

for eggs benedict.

SAM: Does that dispel my fire

resistance as well?

MATT: No, it only affected

the Heroes’ Feast.

SAM: Okay.

You’ll have to

explain that sometime.

MATT: Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: So, giving a potion to

somebody is a full action?

MATT: Yes.

Cause you have to basically

get there, open it,

grab them and help

them swallow it

to have the

effect take place.

It’s a pretty

involved action.

SAM: That means we don’t have

advantage on death saves either.

Right, wait.

-LAURA: Did we ever?

-SAM: Yeah, we did.

LAURA: Oh, that’s from

Beacon of Hope.

That’s gone anyway.

SAM: Is that gone, okay?

TALIESIN: Yeah, that got eaten.

LAURA: Okay, then I’m gonna

fly down to my brother.

And I’m gonna

cast Cure Wounds

on him at fourth level,

so that’s 4d8.

SAM: 4d8?

♪

LAURA: Oh, 19 plus

eight, wow, 27.

-SAM: Wow.

-LIAM: Thank you.

LAURA: You don’t got

no wings anymore.

-LIAM: She dead?

-LAURA: No.

LIAM: Oh, shit.

LAURA: Get away

from the lava.

And then, I’m gonna

fly away from the lava.

-Up.

-MATT: This way?

-TRAVIS: Towards Matt.

-LAURA: Yeah, towards Matt.

Up and towards Matt.

-MATT: Up and towards me.

-LAURA: Kind of away from Pike.

Actually,

let’s go, oh God.

MATT: This way?

LAURA: Yes, yes, what

you just did.

That way.

MATT: That’s about as far

as you can go right there.

Okay.

LAURA: And I get a bonus.

I can do something

with a bonus.

I’m gonna

re-Hunter’s Mark her.

-MATT: Yeah, cause you–

-LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Alright, so

Hunter’s Mark reapplied.

LAURA: Oh, wait!

I can take a potion

for myself as a bonus.

-MATT: Yes.

-LAURA: I’m gonna do that.

MATT: Alright, go for it.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

-Get it.

-LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Just a regular potion?

-LAURA: Just a Superior.

-MATT: Oh, right.

LAURA: That my brother gave me.

MATT: That is an

8d4 plus eight.

LAURA: It’s a four.

TRAVIS: Easter egg.

LAURA: Seventeen plus eight.

TRAVIS: You have one

more dice to roll.

-LAURA: I do?

-TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Ooh.

So, 21 plus

eight, so 29.

MATT: Nice.

SAM: You healed

yourself that much?

Jesus, that’s

a big potion.

LAURA: Yeah that was,

I rolled really well.

TALIESIN: I may make one

for the table.

LAURA: I didn’t trust that

I would roll that well.

MATT: That ends your turn, Vex?

-LAURA: Yes.

-MATT: Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: Okay, so half my movement just

to get to standing, right?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Okay, I’m gonna throw

Whisper, Flame tongue.

Raishan should be

within 60 feet, yeah?

-MATT: Uh, yeah.

-LIAM: Okay.

-Seventeen for the first.

-MATT: Fails.

-LIAM: Second is 22.

-MATT: Twenty-two just hits.

TRAVIS: That’s it, that’s

Raishan at 22.

-LIAM: Ten.

-TALIESIN: 22?

-MARISHA: She’s 22.

-MATT: How much damage?

-LIAM: Ten.

-MATT: Ten points damage.

LIAM: And I’m going to use my

remaining 15 of movement

to go diagonally

away from Raishan.

MATT: Diagonally away this way?

LIAM: Away from– diagonal.

-MATT: Here?

-LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, that’s as far

as you can get there.

Okay.

That ends your turn.

That brings us to Kima.

Let’s see.

Kima rushes in with

Holy Avenger,

and looks over at the distant

dragon and goes, “Oh, shit.

Who’s hurting?”

LAURA: Everyone.

SAM: I’m fine.

LAURA (as PIKE): “I am, I don’t want

to say anything though,

but I kind of am.

I feel kind of shitty.

I–I feel like shit.”

-LIAM: “Um…”

-LAURA: “Um…”

SAM: “I’m kind of bleeding

from my ears, but, whatever.”

MATT: Kima as an action

is gonna cast a…

LAURA: “I can deal with it.

It’s no big deal.”

MATT: I’m gonna say third

level Cure Wounds.

LIAM: Matt, my wings

are toast, right?

MATT: Yeah.

That’s 17 points

of healing to Pike.

LAURA: Okay, thank you.

MATT: I think Kima’s just

gonna go at a full run.

(indistinct talking)

Right, that ends Kima’s turn.

There is a

flash of light

in the tunnel

behind you guys.

As a sudden burst

of kind of…

a whitish orangish energy

that briefly halos Kima,

Scanlan, and Pike’s forms.

As you watch,

a brass talon…

(cheering)

A brass talon, that since it was

used as the top of our tree,

I forgot to bring its base,

but he’ll be acting there.

TALIESIN: It was a beautiful tree.

-LAURA: Hey, look, he’s standing!

-MARISHA: He’s standing.

TALIESIN: You’ve been drinking,

brass dragon.

LAURA: Oh, J'Mon,

you looking good.

-LIAM: J'Mon!

-LAURA: J'Mon!

TALIESIN: Have you been

working out?

You look like you’ve

been working out.

MATT: He watches as they arrive

and kind of bully

their way past the entrance.

“I was wondering

when you’d call.”

SAM: Glad you came!

TRAVIS: Nothing cool,

nothing cool with that!

TALIESIN: Swipe right, swipe right!

TRAVIS: Sure is glad

you’re here!

SAM: We’re happy

to see you?

TRAVIS: No court speak here.

SAM: How– how

was the flight?

MATT: Actually,

I broke my platforms,

so I’ll just have to use my

imagination for some of this.

SAM: We need modeling

clay, quick!

TALIESIN: Fishing wire, we can just string

it from the top of the set.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, just

attach it to a string.

MATT: There we go.

J'Mon, they kind of stomp

their way into the room,

stepping over

you, Scanlan.

Stepping

past you, Vax.

Nestles in, kind of

surveys the territory.

“A different color

than I was expecting.”

And releases a blast

of fire breath

upwards in

the direction–

TRAVIS: Smoke 'em if

you got 'em.

C'mon, J'Mon.

LAURA: ♪ J'Mon ♪

TALIESIN: ♪ J'Mon ♪♪

MATT: That is a 23.

Okay, makes

the dex save,

so Raishan pulls

out of the way

with a benefit from

the haste spell.

However it does still

take damage.

Half damage

from the spell.

That’s 16d6 damage.

-LAURA: Wow.

-TRAVIS: 16d6.

Well, that might actually help.

LIAM: Nobody expects

the Marquette inquisition.

MATT: That is 58

points fire damage,

half of that to 20…

29, whoo, pardon me.

LAURA: Did you just burp

or did you just–

MATT: I did.

MATT: Twenty nine points of

fire damage to Raishan

from Devo'ssa’s

Flame breath.

J'Mon Sa Ord, as you know.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: She makes a concentration check.

Succeeds.

TRAVIS: Damn it.

MATT: So, the haste

remains viable.

Okay, that ends

J'Mon’s turn.

Pike is up.

LAURA: Okay.

Pike…

MARISHA: Go on, girl!

LAURA: She’s gonna cast

Mass Healing Word.

Can she get the most people

in her radius?

MATT: What’s the range on it?

LAURA: It is a 60 foot radius.

SAM: Radius?

MATT: Yep, that’s the biggest

radius, it’d be right there.

In the center,

just under

J'Mon’s giant

brass dragon wing.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: It’s not gonna heal

Raishan, is it?

-LAURA: No.

-MATT: No.

LAURA: Heals only

people she wants.

It’s up to

six creatures.

MATT: Up to six creatures,

who do you choose?

LAURA: Who all’s–

TALIESIN: Raise your hand if you would–

you would like to be–

LAURA: So, that’s–

-LIAM: Grog is within range.

-LAURA: Grog and her.

So, that’s Grog,

Pike, Vex, Vax, and Percy.

SAM: Well, hey, if

you can do six.

LAURA: And Scanlan.

“Oh, sorry, Scanlan,

I didn’t see you there.”

SAM: “Well, I’m behind a

dragon, honey, it’s okay.”

LAURA: Oh, he’s gonna

dispel this shit.

TALIESIN: I don’t think she can.

LAURA: Okay, she’s gonna do this.

SAM: Wait, can she do it

on herself as well?

-LAURA: Yeah.

-SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Nine.

-SAM: Nine– nine points?

-LAURA: Yeah.

That’s a bonus,

I know, I know, okay.

TALIESIN: Nine is good.

LAURA: There’s not really

anything else right now.

TALIESIN: Technically, it’s

9 times 6,

so you did a

lot of healing.

LAURA: All of her major

spells were used.

-LIAM: Still in the game.

-TALIESIN: Nine times six is a lot.

TRAVIS: Nine points, okay.

TALIESIN: That brings me up

into the 60’s.

SAM: Decadent.

MARISHA: Just a– a nice

southern California day.

TALIESIN: Fifties.

LAURA: And then, can she– does

she have any movement left?

MATT: No, that was her full

movement to get there.

(indistinct talking)

LAURA: That’s true.

She’s gonna duck as much

as she can under J'Mon.

-MATT: Okay.

-LAURA: For protection.

And say, “Oh, you look

very nice, thank you.”

(laughing)

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: “Thank you for

helping us.”

SAM: At this point,

I feel like you guys

are better at

Ashley than she is.

LAURA: No, shut up.

MATT: Alrighty.

TALIESIN: Cast of thousands it

takes to play Ashley.

MATT: Ending Pike’s turn,

Scanlan, you’re up.

SAM: Oh, oh, shit, I should have

been thinking about what I–

MATT: Yes, you should have.

SAM: Okay.

I will– I will–

I will shoot some stuff

at Raishan of it all.

MATT: Do it, what are you doing?

SAM: I’m gonna shoot

Lightning Bolt at Raishan.

From my dick.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: So, as you begin

creating your incantation

and thrust your

hips forward,

J'Mon Sa Ord turns

their head beneath the wing

in your direction and

arcs a brow, surprised.

SAM: Like, yeah,

this is happening.

MATT: As the bolt of energy streaks

forth from your groin

in the direction

of the dragon.

That is a 15.

It’s going to use one of

Raishan’s legendary resistances

to resist it.

So half damage.

SAM: Okay, fine, whatever.

TRAVIS: “Fine, whatever.”

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: ♪Feel the heat.♪

SAM: Wow.

-SAM: 35 halved.

-MATT: 35 halved.

SAM: 17.

MATT: That’s a

good roll.

SAM: That is a

good roll.

It was mostly

sixes and fives.

MATT: Alrighty.

And do you wish to move or

you gonna stay where you are?

SAM: Oh.

No, I would

like to move.

I would like to move forward

a bit still within the–

the Devo'ssa range.

MATT: Like by Pike and

Kima over here?

SAM: Yeah, oh, can I move to

the other side of Devo'ssa?

MATT: Yeah, you can move

just underneath,

running between the legs

and get about there.

SAM: And yeah, shoot, is anyone

else– how’s Gilmore look?

MATT: Gilmore is standing

and seems to be

doing alright,

but seen a lot struggle

from the last battle

and is currently about…

You can see

a little bit of blood

dried and curling from one side

of the mouth.

Hair is mussed up

and looks to be

a few burn marks

across the skin

and is kind of a little out of breath,

but is standing.

TALIESIN: It’s the level two

Mike Tyson’s punch out.

MATT: Yeah.

Gilmore’s

roughly half out.

-SAM: Okay.

-TALIESIN: I knew that would break you.

TRAVIS: I love that reference.

SAM: So I will use a Healing Word

on Gilmore.

Why not?

'Cause I don’t

want to use any–

I got one more Inspiration,

so I’m not gonna use that yet.

So, yeah, I will–

I will heal Gilmore.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Oh, yes, sorry,

I got to roll.

Nine.

MATT: Total nine,

great, alrighty.

That ends your turn?

SAM: Yes, yes, yes.

MATT: Alright, Percival,

you’re up.

TRAVIS: Nice job.

TALIESIN: Okay, I don’t

have it marked down

that I burned

my action surge,

but I think I burned

my action surge.

MATT: You did, yes.

TALIESIN: But I still do have two

points of Cabal’s Ruin.

-If I recall.

-MATT: You do, yes.

TALIESIN: Okay, just

making sure.

Alright, so, I’m going to–

from my little

vantage point,

take a shot with Bad News.

See how this goes, and I’m

gonna burn a Grit for advantage.

Let’s do this.

♪

Yeah.

I mean, that wasn’t fine,

but we could do better.

Yeah, that’s

already better.

TRAVIS: Come on.

TALIESIN: Thirty points to–

30 to hit.

MATT: Thirty does hit, yes.

TALIESIN: Alright.

Let’s use these,

they’re sparkly.

Two 12 plus six plus,

I’m gonna throw

2d6 worth of electric.

2d4 worth of electric.

Learning how to use–

Oh, 1d6, no,

never mind, here we go.

So, let’s add.

Empty out Cabal’s Ruin.

That’s awful.

♪

10 points of damage plus 6

points of lightning damage.

TRAVIS: How’s that terrible,

that’s not terrible.

-TALIESIN: For me.

-LAURA: For him.

MATT: You watch as you send

the last bit of the charge

through the cloak as the

energy shoots up your arm

into the gun and as you fire,

it travels with the bullet and

bursts into this kind of weird,

reverse shock wave

and the energy returns

and slams for a second

time into Raishan’s body.

TALIESIN: Nice, I have

one more shot.

So, I’m gonna

take my last shot

although there’s

no more electricity.

That’s probably

not gonna hit.

That’s 18 to hit,

that does not hit.

-MATT: It does not.

-TALIESIN: That does not hit.

But at least it

doesn’t backfire.

MATT: It hits the side of the hide and

ricochets off the dragon’s skin.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna start running.

I know you don’t have

the little plastic thing,

but I’m feeling a little clumped

over there,

so I’m gonna start running

up the wall at an angle,

so probably three up and three–

three up and three side.

MATT: We’ll mark you at

25 feet up on the wall.

Just keep that in mind.

Okay, ends Percy.

Top of this now is

another lair action.

♪

(indistinct talking)

SAM: No, he could do that.

MATT: Alright.

♪

TALIESIN: It’s like watching

some very, like, complicated…

MARISHA: Like, chess.

MATT: The magma over

here begins to bubble

and you watch as one of

these strange protrusions

from the rocky ground

begins to bow upward

and then crack open as

another familiar cloud of gas

begins to spill

out in this area.

TRAVIS: But you’re

totally immune.

MATT: Vax, Vex, Scanlan.

I need you guys

to make constitution

saving throws.

SAM: Nope.

LAURA: This is just the worst.

-MATT: J'Mon.

-LAURA: ♪ J'Mon ♪♪

MATT: Does make it, yes.

SAM: Four.

-LAURA: Fourteen.

-LIAM: Eighteen.

-MATT: Okay, you do make it.

-LIAM: Eighteen.

MATT: Eighteen, yes, the two

of you manage to succeed.

Pike as well?

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, medicine

won’t heal it.

LAURA: Hold on.

TRAVIS: That’s gotta make it.

-LIAM: Thirteen.

-LAURA: Fourteen.

MATT: Okay.

So, this cloud is still kind

of permeating this area.

Obscuring it slightly.

Ending that now

it is Raishan’s–

SAM: Wait, what did I do,

what happened to me?

-MATT: You rolled a four.

-SAM: Yeah.

MATT: So, when your turn

comes around next…

-SAM: I die.

-TRAVIS: I’ll let you know.

MATT: No, you’ll just be

coughing and incapacitated.

The coughing fit

that this poison gas

creates is so bad

that you can’t do

anything but hack.

TRAVIS: It is called LA Smog.

MATT: Yes.

Now, being Raishan’s turn.

Still hasted, pardon me.

Raishan is going

to dart backward…

and snatch up this

one egg with her claws.

Grabs it and kind of

carries it up underneath.

MARISHA: Bitch cares.

-LAURA: She does care!

-MARISHA: She cares!

LAURA: Let’s kill

them eggs.

TALIESIN: Care Bear stare!

SAM: Wait, maybe she’s just

trying to be a good mom.

TALIESIN: She’s gonna

throw it at us.

MARISHA: Google Donkey Kong.

TALIESIN: She could go all

Donkey Kong on us.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

(indistinct talking)

LAURA: (yells)

MATT: So, that’s 20 to get there

and back to grab that.

She kinda swoops

down, grabs it.

Moves forward

ever so slightly

this way, and…

No, from back here.

Is going to release a giant

burst of poisonous gas

outward, affecting–

Kima shrugs it off,

Pike shrugs it off.

Grog, you shrug it off

cause you resist the dispel

that didn’t work earlier.

Gilmore ate the Feast earlier

and is also unaffected.

However, I need…

LAURA: Gilmore

didn’t get the Feast.

MATT: That’s right, cause you can only

have so many people eat from it.

Alright, I need Gilmore,

Vax, Vex and Scanlan

to all make

constitution saving throws.

SAM: What about Devo'ssa?

-MATT: Yes.

-TALIESIN: Wow.

That’s not happy.

Such a pretty die.

LAURA: Did you say Pike?

Did you say

Pike as well?

MATT: Pike didn’t

get dispelled.

So Pike is immune.

SAM: I got a nine, Matthew.

-MATT: You got a 9?

-SAM: Constitution?

-MATT: Yes.

-SAM: Nine.

MATT: Not you, Percy.

TALIESIN: I didn’t have to roll.

I’m just mocking him.

-MATT: Vex?

-LAURA: Fourteen.

MATT: Okay.

You guys and Scanlan all suffer

83 points of poison damage.

TRAVIS: Oh my God!

MARISHA: How many?

-MATT: Eighty-three.

-LAURA: Eighty-three.

MATT: Gilmore.

TALIESIN: (laughing)

Gilmore makes his save

roll with a 19 plus three.

TALIESIN: So, he gets 40.

MATT: Thanks to your

heal earlier,

Gilmore is still standing

with two hit points.

-LAURA: Wow.

-SAM: That makes two of us, friend.

I’m at two hit

points as well.

TRAVIS: How y'all doing?

LAURA: We’re unconscious.

SAM: Did our–

Our bronze brass dragon

get hurt at all or no?

MATT: Brass dragon. But it is

here in a minute.

Rolls a one on

its saving throw.

Gonna use legendary resistance

to make the save.

So he only takes–

they only take–

TALIESIN: Can you arc lightning?

MATT: 41 points

of damage there.

Okay.

So, as this

billows forth…

LAURA: Twins go out together.

MATT: So, Vax, he

falls unconscious.

Vex, you fall unconscious, fall

off the broom, hit the ground.

Taking four points

of bludgeoning damage,

you suffer a death saving

throw from the impact.

LAURA: From like a teeny

little ten foot fall?

MATT: 10 foot drop on your head.

LAURA: That’s fucking stupid.

-MATT: It’s only a–

-LAURA: She was sitting stupidly!

MATT: It’s only a d6

bludgeoning damage,

but when you’re

unconscious while falling,

you now realize the downside

of flying all the time.

LAURA: Damn it!

TRAVIS: Didn’t you put

air bags on that thing?

LAURA: I did, I have

a helmet on.

Did you– I put

airbags in the witch’s hat.

TALIESIN: It’s a football helmet.

TRAVIS: That’s right,

it’s magic, it goes…

SAM: Yeah, I forgot to tell you,

the witch hat is magic.

TALIESIN: Full of balloons.

MATT: As the poisonous

breath billows out

and everyone’s coughing

and falling over,

you watch the twins

fall unconscious,

Raishan kind of grins.

“You’ve got a

few surprises, I see,

but you’re not

the only ones.”

LAURA: Oh, no, does she

have more surprises?

TRAVIS: I think that’s

what she meant, yeah.

LAURA: I hope that’s not–

TALIESIN: There’s cake and

ice cream upstairs.

SAM: “I have more surprises.”

“Guys, I think she

has more surprises.”

TRAVIS: That’s literally

what she just said.

LAURA: I just thought maybe

the breath was the surprise.

MATT: And then is going to use

the rest of her movement

to whip over here.

TRAVIS: Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Why’d she have to leave?

I just wanted to

give her a high five.

TALIESIN: You need to heal the living

hell out of these people.

LAURA: Damn it!

She’s carrying…?

MATT: She’s carrying

two eggs underneath.

TALIESIN: Which means she obviously

can’t do claw attacks.

MATT: She still has

40 feet of movement.

LAURA: That’s true.

MATT: And is going

to turn back,

and flies there.

TRAVIS: Didn’t pick up

anything else?

MATT: No, she grabbed the

two eggs and is positioning.

Alright, that ends

Raishan’s turn.

Keyleth, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Can you heal?

MARISHA: I’m wondering if

I should drop this

and start doing

beefier stuff now.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I think now’s the time.

SAM: This has only injured

Vax so far, so…

LAURA: Me and…

TALIESIN: The twins, they’re

both unconscious.

SAM: Oh, great.

TALIESIN: With one death saving

throw already failed.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: No, just me.

MARISHA: Okay, I am going

to move from–

LAURA: And Pike’s like out.

MARISHA: Over the

lava like this direction.

SAM: She’s got some cantrips.

MARISHA: Geez, I can’t tell.

-MATT: Which way?

-MARISHA: This way, this way.

See the laser pointer?

No, no, no, I had it.

I had it and

it went away.

-Okay.

-MATT: Over here?

MARISHA: No, it’s–

yeah, over there.

-MATT: Over here?

-MARISHA: Uh-huh.

And how far away is

Raishan from me now?

MATT: I’d say roughly

30 feet, 35 feet.

MARISHA: Okay, move

me like one more closer to her.

MATT: There you go.

MARISHA: And how close am I

from the twins now?

I can’t see.

MATT: Twins, you’re about 30,

another 35 feet from them.

MARISHA: Okay, let me move

five more feet

so I can be within

30 feet of the twins.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay, now I’m

gonna drop my–

MATT: Well, with both twins,

you’d have to move there.

You drop your form?

-MARISHA: Drop my form.

-MATT: Alright.

MARISHA: I hope this is not

a terrible idea.

-MATT: I’ll put you there.

-TALIESIN: We’re at that point.

MARISHA: We’re at that point.

This is Dungeons

and Dragons!

TALIESIN: This is dungeon

and dragons.

MARISHA: I’m going to bust out

the Spire of Conflux.

So I’m gonna bust out the staff

and be like, “You bitch.”

And then aim it.

I’m gonna do chain lightning

and can I try and

hit her and the two eggs

and maybe like, since

I still have the storm going,

like, it just looks cool?

(laughing)

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: Doesn’t it–?

MATT: Raishan saves.

The eggs cannot

save technically,

so go ahead

and roll damage.

LAURA: Don’t you get the

lightning attacks too?

If you’re doing

chain lightning,

you still get the other

lightning’s that are there?

MARISHA: I have to choose

to make an action.

It’s still there,

but I can either like do other

things or choose to do–

LAURA: I understand.

MARISHA: Sorry, I don’t

do the– 10d8.

TALIESIN: Do you need some d8’s?

MARISHA: I have one, two,

three, four, five…

I think I’m good,

I’ll just roll five twice.

Oh, God, oh, God.

Did she save?

MATT: Yes, she did.

MARISHA: But the eggs didn’t?

MATT: The eggs did not.

MARISHA: Okay, that’s not

phenomenal.

Three, six, nine,

ten– nine, ten, eleven.

Plus four is 15 plus…

Okay, okay.

What’d I say, 15?

Twenty-five, 29.

Thirty-six total.

TALIESIN: Oh, wait, wait, wait.

MARISHA: Oh!

Oh, and I get to

reroll this one.

Thirty-six, no,

thirty-eight.

MATT: Thirty-eight, okay.

That would be 29,

no, sorry.

No, from 30, 19.

Nineteen damage to Raishan

and the two eggs–

You watch as the bolt hits,

arcs through her,

arcs through the eggs.

You see the eggs still

carrying them, no visual.

MARISHA: It didn’t do

anything to 'em?

MATT: Well, nothing

you can see, no.

MARISHA: Nothing I can see.

Maybe I like

microwaved 'em inside.

Like nuked 'em.

Might have nuked 'em.

TRAVIS: Might have been like Vision

and you made 'em super strong.

MARISHA: Yeah, or I turned 'em into

little Vision dragons.

You know,

one of the two.

Okay, and then

for my bonus action,

I’m going to do a

Healing Word on Vax.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I’m just gonna

do it at first level.

-Sorry.

-LIAM: No, hey.

TALIESIN: It’s back up.

MARISHA: Three plus (indistinguishable)

so nine total.

LIAM: Thank you.

MATT: At the end of your turn,

watching you form over,

hit her with lightning,

hit the eggs

and all of a sudden,

breath come back to the

lungs of Vax on the ground.

Raishan, “Not so fast.”

Still clutching the eggs,

her front claws kind

of form this small spiral

as the air grows

surprisingly cold

causing this mist to form

around the extended

ends of her claws.

As she puts

her arms forth,

casting Cone of Cold

outward from her.

LAURA: I wonder if they’re elemental,

like, amplifiers.

MARISHA: The eggs?

TALIESIN: I think, I think

maybe they’re–

TRAVIS: Just eggs?

TALIESIN: No, no, I think she

may be on to something.

MATT: That’s going to be…

I don’t know if

it’s going to hit.

TALIESIN: No, no.

MATT: Does not hit Gilmore.

However, I need Scanlan…

SAM: Would I be able to

counter spell this or–

or am I already in a cloud

of smoke and coughing?

MATT: Oh, you can’t

technically move

cause you’re

doubled over.

SAM: I’m already in

the cloud, right?

-MATT: Yeah.

-SAM: Okay.

LAURA: You’re in the cloud,

but you can be restored.

Cause you’ve

been backed up.

SAM: Oh. Backblaze?

SAM: You’re slowly becoming

me tonight.

TALIESIN: Can Gilmore

dispel or–

Just throwing

that out there.

I know you’re

playing a lot of hands here.

SAM: You’re so handsome and

charming all of a sudden.

MATT: What’s the range on that?

Unfortunately, Gilmore’s

just out of range. 60 foot range.

TALIESIN: Goddammit, okay.

MATT: Good looking out though.

TALIESIN: I’m trying.

MATT: So that is Kima,

Pike, J'Mon,

Scanlan, Vax and Vex

all making constitution

saving throws.

LAURA: I’m unconscious.

MATT: So, you take

another death save.

-LAURA: Cool.

-TALIESIN: Goddammit.

We need to fix that.

LAURA: I’ve got one save left.

TALIESIN: Please, we got

to fix that.

SAM: Did I– wait.

Vax-y poo, did I give

you my cold armor?

I mean, Vex-y poo.

LAURA: Yeah, you did,

but it’s not attuned.

SAM: You’re not

even using it?

MATT: And even then, even at half

damage, she’s unconscious.

LAURA: Well, I am, I’m

just not getting cold–

MATT: So you’re at two

death saves on impact.

You’re unconscious

again to zero.

-You take…

-SAM: I rolled an 11.

MATT: An eleven, yeah.

So you take 43 points of cold damage.

SAM: I’m so dead.

TRAVIS: No, no, unconscious.

-MATT: Unconscious.

-LAURA: You’re unconscious.

SAM: Negative 41.

MATT: Both roll for Pike.

LAURA: It doesn’t matter

what you’re negative.

TRAVIS: Unless it’s your

total hit points.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Roll for Pike if

you could please.

LAURA: Well,

I wouldn’t count it,

but yeah, that was–

that was bad.

It was better when I–

TALIESIN: Well, not anymore.

LAURA: What is this,

what is this?

Constitution,

what is this?

Five!

Cause I suck.

MATT: Pike takes another

43 points of cold damage.

LAURA: Pike is unconscious.

SAM: The gnomes are down.

Well, at least

we got Kima.

LAURA: Whoa.

The two– the twins

and the gnomes are out.

SAM: Yeah, whoa,

we’re down four?

TALIESIN: We’re down four.

-SAM: Whoa!

-LAURA: This is serious, you guys.

SAM: Don’t worry, Devo'ssa’s here

to give one shot of

28 points of damage.

Come on, Devo'ssa,

do something!

TRAVIS: I would hit the dragon

cause it’s low enough,

but it’s on the

other side of the map.

MATT: Alrighty, so that’s the

end of Keyleth’s turn.

It’s now Gilmore’s turn.

TRAVIS: Come on, Gilmore.

LAURA: Do you have

Mass Cure, Gilmore?

MATT: Gilmore does not

cure, unfortunately,

that’s not

his specialty.

TRAVIS: What about Razzle Dazzle?

MATT: He’s used a

lot of his spells.

(sighs)

TALIESIN: I have nothing.

TRAVIS: Can he cast like–

SAM: Oh, wait!

Shit.

No, that was poison.

He shot– Raishan shot

poison at us, right?

TALIESIN: No, cold.

LAURA: Cold the last time.

SAM: No, the cold this time.

The previous time

it was poison.

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Never acid though.

TALIESIN: No, never acid.

MATT: Gilmore rushes around J'Mon

almost as a

defensive stand point,

but also kind of taking

in the circumstance.

Watching this blast of

cold air come through.

Kind of looks around, seeing

everyone on the ground.

It’s like,

“Oh God, oh God.”

And in a fit of rage and

needing to lock this down,

just gonna go ahead with what

he has left at his disposal

to release a…

All he can really do

is a lightning bolt.

Which Raishan rolls a one.

LAURA: Oh, good, good.

MATT: Uses legendary resistance

to resist it.

LAURA: I have to pee so bad,

I got to get up.

-SAM: How do you want to do this?

-MATT: I know.

Ten points of lightning

damage to Raishan.

LAURA: What I’m scared of is that

I’m gonna be away from the

table when I actually die,

but I have to pee.

MATT: Go pee, it’s fine.

LAURA: Just don’t kill me while I’m

not at the table, okay, Matt?

MATT: Do my best.

SAM: Hey, when she gets back

let’s all be crying.

LAURA: (offscreen) Don’t– I heard that!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: You are the worst person.

Two seconds longer.

-MATT: Grog.

-TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Actually, no, oh,

thank you so much.

TALIESIN: Oh, yay.

MATT: Thank you,

thank you, thank you.

Beautiful.

They found my base.

TALIESIN: Wow, look at all those

minis that are flattened.

Wake up our healer.

MATT: Look at that.

Looks much more majestic

when it’s up in the air.

Oh God.

I’m juggling here.

Stay on there!

Alright, so, at the

end of that turn…

there’s two more legendary

actions from Raishan.

She has four,

she has four.

To cast a Melf’s

Acid Arrow at Gilmore.

♪

SAM: (snickering)

TRAVIS: Wait, where did Gilmore go,

I can’t see.

MATT: He’s underneath.

SAM: No one said D&D

was easy, guys.

♪

MATT: Okay, a ranged spell attack.

So, yeah, that hits.

So that is 4d4

acid damage against–

That’s five.

Five, ten points

of acid damage.

Gilmore is now also down.

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: Is that five total?

TALIESIN: Five down, we

have five down.

MATT: As Gilmore runs

past the dragon,

Raishan just with this

almost underhanded,

flips her claws out

and this one little

greenish dart

of arcane energy

slams into Gilmore’s chest.

And he just

falls to the ground.

TALIESIN: We’re so fucked.

MATT: Burning into him like alien blood.

TRAVIS: This is some kind

of horrible record.

LAURA: Gilmore just went

unconscious too?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

-TRAVIS: Sit down.

-LAURA: Oh, no!

SAM: Kima, Percy, Keyleth.

It’s up to you.

-MATT: Grog, it’s your turn.

-SAM: Oh, wait, Grog!

I forgot Grog.

TRAVIS: Hey!

TALIESIN: Is there anything

you can do to fix this?

-TRAVIS: I have a question.

-MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: So my speed is 50,

but I don’t know

if I ever thought of

what my speed

is enlarged-ish.

It’s not double, right?

I don’t really

have a card for it.

It doesn’t say

anything about my speed.

MATT: Wait, for which

one, on the–

LAURA: If he was enlarged.

MATT: If you’re enlarged, no,

it doesn’t increase

your speed at all.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay.

MATT: You’re still 50,

you’re bigger–

TALIESIN: Fuck.

TRAVIS: So, from where I am,

if I wanted to head towards you,

how far could I get?

MATT: You could get…

That far there.

TRAVIS: That does fuck all.

TALIESIN: That– yeah.

TRAVIS: I could throw the axe

but Pike’s unconscious.

-I’m gonna run to Pike.

-SAM: Start saving shit.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I have the middle

potion available.

-LAURA: The Greater?

-TRAVIS: The Greater.

MATT: Alrighty, so you’re

gonna use your action

to administer the Greater

healing potion to Pike.

Alrighty, go for it.

-SAM: To Pike.

-TRAVIS: How many–

How many is

that, I don’t remember.

-LAURA: That’s 4d4.

-MATT: Yeah, 4d4 plus four.

TRAVIS: Okay.

Four.

Four, that’s two.

Hey, seven and

a four is eleven.

Fifteen.

Fifteen points to Pike.

MATT: Fifteen points to Pike.

TALIESIN: And she still has

her turn coming up.

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay, okay,

that’s good.

LAURA: But she has basically

no spells left.

SAM: She’s got no spell slots.

Does she have any spell–

higher level spell slots open?

LAURA: She’s got a

fourth level spell.

TALIESIN: And then she can

burn a fourth

to heal somebody

at a fourth level.

She can heal you

at a fourth level

because you

need healing now.

MATT: That ends your turn, Grog?

-MATT: Vex, it’s your turn.

I need you to make

a death saving throw.

-TALIESIN: Goddammit.

-LAURA: I could die.

TALIESIN: Yep, this could be it.

-SAM: This is the last one?

LAURA: This is my last

death saving throw.

TALIESIN: This is it.

LAURA: No advantage,

no nothing.

TALIESIN: Oh God

fucking damn it.

LAURA: I’m using– no, I’m

not even gonna say it.

(groans)

-LAURA: I failed it.

-MATT: What’d you roll?

-LAURA: Five.

-MATT: Five.

There, on the banks

of the lava flow

in Thordak’s lair,

the breath escapes Vex.

Her body going still

and unfortunately

not cold because

of the vicinity

of the flames,

but Vex has fallen.

-TALIESIN: Okay.

-MATT: Vax.

-LIAM: Death save.

-MATT: With advantage.

-LIAM: I made it.

-MATT: Made it?

That brings

us to Kima.

♪

TRAVIS: Fuck.

♪

SAM: Holy shit.

♪

MATT: Kima, who’s– Pike is

now conscious, correct?

From the potion.

LAURA: Pike is conscious

with 15 points.

MATT: Kima’s panicking

watching all this happen

and seeing this

happen in the distance.

Looks to Gilmore,

looks to Vax.

She kind of frustratingly just

throws the sword at her side

and reaches down

and does a level two

Healing Word to Gilmore.

That is 12, so Gilmore

is back and conscious.

MARISHA: As a bonus action, so

can she heal someone else?

MATT: Alrighty.

That ends Kima’s

turn is now–

MARISHA: Does she happen to do–

that’s a bonus action.

Can she do it twice?

MATT: That was– that was not Healing

Word, sorry, Cure Wounds.

TALIESIN: Goddammit.

MATT: She’s going to move,

stepping over his body,

“Keep it going, friend.”

Leaps over him.

Two, three, four, five.

And she kind of runs past,

pulling the sword out again,

looks up at the

dragon and says,

“Alright, show us

what you can do, buddy.

There’s a lot

riding on this.”

After Kima is J'Mon.

They look down at the

running Halfling.

“Dire as it may be,

that’s why we’re here.”

Let’s see if he

gets his breath back.

Nope.

They did not

get their breath back.

TRAVIS: Shit.

LAURA: Just– bitch–

bitchslap Raishan.

MARISHA: Kaiju battle!

LIAM: Take your earrings off,

come on.

MATT: Rushes up and–

Goes right up into

Raishan’s space.

LAURA: Yes!

SAM: Dragon on dragon.

LAURA: He has a base now?

When did that happen?

-TRAVIS: While you were peeing.

-LAURA: That’s great.

MATT: So, just rushes up

into Raishan.

You feel the wind

kind of blast past

as the wings of

J'Mon Sa Ord, Devo'ssa,

pick them up and they rush

around strafing the side

of Raishan and unleash a

barrage of attacks against her.

That will be–

First one is 16, no.

Bite misses.

Three and a

two, really?

LAURA: Really?

TRAVIS: No, no, no, no.

-MARISHA: Come on, man.

-TRAVIS: I don’t believe it.

-MARISHA: Come on!

-TRAVIS: I don’t believe.

SAM: Look at all the notes,

look at all the notes.

TRAVIS: I don’t believe it!

MATT: Three, two and one.

That is ridiculous.

LAURA: You know why

this happened?

Cause you took

so long to call–

SAM: Yeah, I know, I know.

They got–

they got bored

waiting at home and yeah.

-MATT: So.

-SAM: It’s me, it’s on me.

MATT: As J'Mon rushes up

and unleashes, Raishan,

who is slippery

at best, and really,

really, really creepily

deceitful at her worst,

dodges to the side,

so, she’s in the shadows

and the cloud of

the storm in the air

to kind of hide her form

as J'Mon reaches out

and starts slashing Raishan,

who’s now has this kind

of wild look in her eyes

of now mounting victory.

From a moment

of fear earlier,

she manages to avoid

the first two strikes

and the third one,

the tail slaps against

the side of Raishan’s body.

Whack and smacks

to no effect.

TRAVIS: Jesus.

MATT: That ends

J'Mon’s turn.

It is now

Pike’s turn.

LIAM: Pike, how close

is she to–

-SAM: Book!

-TALIESIN: Book?

MATT: Pike is about

25 feet away.

LIAM: She’s gonna run

up, kneel down,

wait, kiss Vex on

the forehead, and say,

“Not like this, buddy,”

and cast Revivify

for her last spell.

TRAVIS: It is her last.

MATT: Revivify is touch

and she’s coming up

from unconscious prone

which means she

doesn’t have the movement

to get there to touch her.

LIAM: Pike is unconscious?

MATT: Oh, no, she was–

she was–

TRAVIS: Pike was not

unconscious.

MARISHA: She was not

unconscious, she was up.

TRAVIS: She was up

with 15–

MATT: Oh, oh.

LAURA: She had 15.

-But she was–

-SAM: She was lying down.

-LAURA: She was lying on–

-MATT: So, she was prone.

She was prone.

TRAVIS: Oh, why didn’t I

just pick her up?

MATT: No, so she can move.

She can’t get there.

LAURA: That’s okay.

MATT: It’s a touch spell.

LIAM: Who’s she near?

MARISHA: How much time does

Revivify need?

LAURA: A minute.

TALIESIN: Oh, under

a minute.

Oh, well, she

can make her way–

LAURA: She’s got

Sprinter’s Boots on!

She just texted.

MATT: Had she used

them recently?

LAURA: We didn’t use them

in the last fight

because we didn’t

realize she had 'em.

MATT: The internet

will let us know.

LAURA: Well, I– we didn’t use 'em

in the fight with Thordak.

LIAM: She didn’t know she had

'em so we didn’t use 'em.

MATT: Right, right, so.

SAM: Do you have any

other healing spells

that can work

at a distance?

-LIAM: She’s dead.

-MARISHA: She’s dead.

She’s gonna

do Revivify.

-LAURA: For Pike, though.

-TALIESIN: Yeah, like.

LIAM: So the Sprinter’s Boots do

nothing, I mean, I don’t know.

MATT: The Sprinter’s Boots will

let her double her movement

for a round.

LIAM: So will she get there?

LAURA: She’s writing in all caps

“Sprinter’s Boots!”

(laughing)

LIAM: Alright, so Revivify.

-MATT: Alright.

-TALIESIN: Oh my God.

MATT: Now, this is mid-combat.

-For the purposes of this–

-LAURA: Oh God.

SAM: How long does

it take to cast?

LIAM: It’s instantaneous.

TALIESIN: Less than six seconds.

LIAM: One action,

instantaneous.

MARISHA: Yeah, she did lay out

less than six seconds, man.

MATT: I understand.

So, this– this is going to

be a rapid resurrection skill check.

LAURA: Oh God, really? Okay.

MATT: So, but this is

only from Pike

because it is

a singular roll.

So.

LAURA: Can Ashley roll, do you

want to roll Ashley?

MATT: As Pike rushes up,

what does Pike utilize

to implore Vex’s

soul to return?

SAM: Liam, you answer.

♪

LIAM: My gosh.

She grabs a dagger

out of Vex’s belt

and cuts off a

lock of her hair

and presses it

into Vex’s hand.

“It’s not time,

it’s not time for you.

No.”

♪

MATT: Go ahead and just roll a d20.

LAURA: She’s– oh!

Oh, no!

Should we read that?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: A ten?

As the glow from

the outside of her form

that just radiates

with the armor itself,

centrally focuses itself

into her holy symbol

and is sent down the arm.

Each piece of

the plate mail

glowing in succession

like a series

of chained lights

as it reaches the fingers,

touching the bottom of her

fingertips to Vex’s torso.

The air seems to go dark

for a moment around her body

before it pulses,

and with that,

you watch as her jaw

moves ever so slightly

taking in, once more, the

warm air of Thordak’s lair.

MARISHA: No one else die.

MATT: Pike, want to do

anything else?

Bonus action?

LIAM: Geez, I don’t–

LAURA: Oh, she should take– she should

take a potion or something.

TRAVIS: Yeah, heal herself please.

LAURA: She’s got a–

she’s got a Greater healing–

Pike has a Greater healing

potion that I know of.

So she can take it.

MATT: Okay.

So that is a

4d4 plus four.

TRAVIS: This sucks!

TALIESIN: I’m almost

of the thinking

that she shouldn’t

take it just because–

-Well, no, she’s got–

-LAURA: She’s got 15 points.

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, but

anything hits her–

half the things that hit her

are gonna even kill that

and that’s a

revive from death.

LAURA: That’s true.

MARISHA: Yeah, but it’s

on her, right?

Yeah, I see what

you mean though.

LAURA: Should she wait,

should she hold it?

SAM: They’re in control of her.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you do it,

you do it, you do it.

I’m overthinking this.

LIAM: Yeah, we’re talking about

getting people back up.

At this point, not healing

cause any hit is lethal.

So getting someone

on their feet.

TRAVIS: I got some potions

cause I never use 'em, but…

MATT: Yeah, you guys have been

hording potions for a while.

You’ve been burning

through all of them

from these

two encounters.

TRAVIS: I’ve got all the

ones I’ve never used.

LIAM: Who’s on the

ground by Grog?

TALIESIN: You.

LIAM: No, I know I am, but

who else is that?

TALIESIN: It’s Scanlan, Scanlan’s

on the ground still.

LIAM: Is someone up besides me?

LAURA: Well, I want– it’s

an action if she–

if she gives it

to anybody else.

She can’t, she can only take it

as a bonus action for herself.

-TRAVIS: Go.

-LIAM: Go.

LAURA: Oh, that’s really

good though.

MARISHA: I wonder how bad

Raishan is looking.

TALIESIN: He hasn’t said the phrase.

-LAURA: Nineteen.

-MATT: Okay, nice.

Alright, at the end of Pike’s

turn, Devo'ssa, J'Mon Sa Ord,

is gonna use two

legendary actions

to attempt a

wing attack.

TALIESIN: Thank God.

TRAVIS: Come on, come on.

MATT: He is now like just

assailing Raishan

with their wings.

So, Raishan has to make a

dexterity saving throw.

That is cocked, try again.

No, that is a failure.

Raishan’s gonna use the

last legendary resistance

to resist that.

So instead takes…

TRAVIS: Fuck!

MATT: That’s…

MARISHA: She’s burned through all

of her legendary resistance?

MATT: Seven points of bludgeoning

damage and is not knocked prone.

That would have

messed her up.

Okay.

TRAVIS: Is not knocked prone?

MATT: No, she is not,

she’s safe.

Okay, that brings

us to Scanlan.

LAURA: We just gotta

get out of here.

SAM: Fail.

MATT: That’s a death

saving throw off Scanlan.

Alrighty, that brings us

to the top of the round.

Percy, you are in

the back of a wall.

TALIESIN: I’m taking…

MATT: The curse of the unscathed!

TALIESIN: You know, I was gonna take shots

at the eggs, but I give up.

I’m taking just

shots at Raishan.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

TALIESIN: Come on.

Don’t be stupid.

-That’s stupid.

-MARISHA: Pretty stupid.

LAURA: Oh my God,

we’re all gonna–

I’m not gonna say it.

-We’re gonna–

-TRAVIS: Don’t you– shh!

LAURA: We’re gonna get

through this, you guys.

We’re all gonna

get through this.

TRAVIS: ♪ I gotta get through this ♪

♪ I gotta get

through this ♪

♪ I gotta get ♪♪

TALIESIN: Yeah, so I’ve got–

that’s a– that’s a–

-That’s a gun jam.

-MARISHA: Fuck.

-MATT: Really?

-TALIESIN: Yeah.

-LAURA: Fuck.

-TALIESIN: Hold on.

LAURA: Oh my God.

TALIESIN: That’s a

bad gun jam.

I’m talking bad,

they’re both bad gun jams.

Alright, I’ve got

one weapon left

that can just barely make it,

so I’m just

screaming to the world.

Here we go.

MATT: So you’re pulling

out Retort.

TALIESIN: Yeah, Retort is out

and that’s a 23.

MATT: That hits.

Two more attacks on that, right?

TALIESIN: Only one more because I took

an attack with Bad News.

MATT: That’s– well, Bad News

takes an attack to reload.

TALIESIN: But– no, the

first shot went–

MATT: Right, but usually,

it’s action.

TALIESIN: Right, so I have two more– I

have two attacks with Retort.

-So, that’s–

-MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: That’s um, oh,

that’s nice.

Fourteen points of damage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And…

Oh, that was so mean, that

was almost a natural 20.

-Twenty-four.

-MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: Ah, 16 points of damage.

-MATT: Nice.

-TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: Let me take some

concentration checks on that.

Yep and yeah.

TALIESIN: And I’m going to reload,

and I’m going to

start running

across the wall

away from the fray.

MATT: Around this way?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: So, you get about there.

TALIESIN: That far.

Getting out of the way.

MATT: Okay.

That ends your turn.

It is now back

to a lair action.

-SAM: Great.

-TRAVIS: Fuck.

MATT: The ground in the

center here quakes

and cracks open as a

familiar burst of magma–

-Everyone in this vicinity.

-LAURA: Goddammit.

MATT: I need Vex.

Vax, you’re–

LIAM: Well, I gotta go,

I’ve got one success.

MATT: Right, but you’re still

unconscious, right?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So, you just take– you just

lose a death saving throw.

As the magma bursts and sprays

around, so you take one.

I need you to make

a dexterity save.

-I need Scanlan–

-SAM: I lose another death save.

-MATT: You lose another.

-LAURA: You got one left, Scanlan?

MATT: I need Pike to make

a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Me too, right?

MATT: And you too, Grog.

SAM: He’s got high dex, right?

Right?

LAURA: Well, this, you know what?

MATT: Gilmore does not make it.

TRAVIS: That’s not bad.

MATT: I’m rolling shit

for damage, that’s good.

Wow.

SAM: What’d you roll, Laurs?

LAURA: I rolled an

eight for Pike.

MATT: Okay, so–

LAURA: And a one for me.

MATT: Okay, ten points of fire

damage to each of you halved,

so you both take five.

LAURA: Okay, I’m unconscious.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: This is so fun, you guys,

I love this fight.

SAM: Let’s go– oh.

LAURA: Pike’s at 29.

TRAVIS: I rolled a 19.

MATT: A 19, okay, you succeed,

so you take half damage.

So you take five, but you’re

resistant from the potion,

so half that, so two.

Two points

of fire damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Alrighty.

It is now Raishan’s turn.

MARISHA: So not good.

TRAVIS: I just want to go

flip the table over.

MATT: Hasted.

Raishan, by the way, from

the attack from Percy,

the damage, you can see Raishan

is now visibly bleeding.

Parts of the

scales are torn.

You can see now, at a

close up vantage point,

as much as the previous

dragons you’ve battled

have had a lot

of resilience,

Raishan’s taken a

fair amount of damage,

but seems to not be

quite as physically hearty

as what you

previously faced

and is looking

visibly hurt.

Raishan is going

to begin the round,

turning to

the rest of you.

“I have business elsewhere, and

you’re being really obnoxious.

Stay down.”

And glancing over

is going to go ahead

and with both of her hands,

again, release another…

She is almost

out of spells.

Cone of Cold.

LAURA: Oh no, this is

gonna be Scanlan.

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: That is– I need–

-So, Scanlan–

-TRAVIS: No!

-MATT: Scanlan is…

-TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

MATT: Frozen, covered

in ice, locked in place.

A solid gnome

bereft of life.

Motionless

on the ground.

SAM: I died as I lived: hard.

(laughter)

MATT: Gilmore takes–

TRAVIS: I heard him say

that before he died.

MATT: Gilmore loses a

death saving throw.

Vax, you take another damage

to your two

failed death saving throws.

Pike needs to make a

constitution saving throw.

Grog, constitution

saving throw.

LAURA: Was I in there?

MATT: You were, so you also–

TRAVIS: Twenty-four.

MATT: Twenty-four,

you succeed.

TRAVIS: Plus 10 for

constitution.

-LAURA: That’s good.

-TRAVIS: Fourteen.

MARISHA: Jesus.

LAURA: Eleven for Pike.

MATT: Okay, that’s 30 points

of cold damage to Pike.

-LAURA: Seriously?

-MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: She’s unconscious.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Pike is unconscious.

TALIESIN: That’s where we’re at.

LAURA: We’re– we’re–

I don’t know how

we’re gonna

get Scanlan back.

TALIESIN: I–I have no–

there’s no–

MARISHA: That’ll be a

later question?

TALIESIN: That may happen.

MATT: So Pike is down.

-TALIESIN: You have a plan?

-SAM: I have a plan.

It involves me humping

a lot of angels in heaven.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: Watching this carnage,

you watch as the spell finalizes

the blast of cold arcane energy

just careening forth

and then fading.

The ground itself, which is

now, normally glowing orange,

is now covered with a

very thin sheet of ice

and you watch steam rise

up from the contrasting heat

and cold

from the spell

effecting the

surrounding atmosphere.

As the mist dissipates,

you see a big toothy grin

curl across Raishan’s face.

Little bit of dragon blood

curling past her teeth

from the wounds

that she’s suffered.

Glaring nervously

over at J'Mon Sa Ord,

who has taken nearly

no damage at this point

and is currently up

in Raishan’s face.

Raishan says, “Well,

I’m afraid I have to get

to the rest of my day.

Die amongst your

friends as you should.”

And just tears off of J'Mon

and goes into a

full hasted fly away.

-SAM: Does J'Mon get–

-LIAM: Attack of opportunity, J'Mon.

MATT: J'Mon does,

J'Mon is gonna make

a bite attack

against Raishan.

With a natural 20!

-SAM: Does that grapple?

-TRAVIS: Are you serious?

-MARISHA: Does that grapple?

-MATT: It does not grapple.

But that is…

MARISHA: She’d have to do a

concentration check, right?

MATT: She will, yeah.

That is 18 plus eight.

That’s 26 piercing damage plus

she’s immune to poison.

She takes no

poison damage.

That’s 28 points of

piercing damage to her.

TALIESIN: (whimpering)

MATT: Concentration check,

oh, she’s fine.

It’s ten plus 14,

so, yeah, she’s fine.

So, the haste does not dispel,

however, J'Mon bites out

and takes a huge

chunk of flesh

as the teeth

just scrape across

the back of Raishan’s wing

and shoulder like…

(snarls)

But manages to pull

away and at a full

160 foot flying

speed hasted

and just disappears

down the hallway.

MARISHA: Should’ve done that,

should’ve done it.

MATT: Into the ashes

and shadow behind.

Keyleth, it’s your turn.

MARISHA: Okay, she has 120 foot–

or she just went 160 feet?

MATT: A 160 feet, yeah.

♪

MARISHA: Is she–

♪

But she wasn’t–

Fuck me,

oh my God, okay.

Can I still see her

through the tunnel?

MATT: No, she is outside of

your dark vision view radius

and there is no light

in the tunnel ahead

and it is a

slight incline.

You just watch her just…

Disappear into

the dark tunnel.

Currently have no

bead of sight on her.

TRAVIS: Smoke the tunnel, dude.

Maybe you get her,

maybe you don’t.

I’m gonna shut up.

MARISHA: It’s a range thing.

I mean, could I

try and– fuck.

-This is really bad.

-TALIESIN: Yes, it’s really bad.

♪

MARISHA: She’s so far away, dude.

SAM: J'Mon can chase her.

LAURA: But he’s there and–

TALIESIN: And she’s so much

faster than him.

She’s hasted.

TRAVIS: Don’t worry, I’m gonna

take off at a run and–

TALIESIN: Yeah.

He can only go

probably half her speed.

TRAVIS: Picture Butterbean

running down an empty street.

MARISHA: 'Cause my–

my question is–

SAM: Jarret’s still up there.

MARISHA: She didn’t necessarily–

LAURA: Just waiting,

crossbow loaded.

TRAVIS: He’s just like…

(whimpers)

MARISHA: 'Cause could I try

and move up

and then do a long range

Wall of Stone spell?

To try and collapse the

tunnel before she gets out?

It’s 120 foot.

MATT: A 120 foot range?

The spell from where

you are currently,

which is over here,

she went 160 feet

even further away

from you than she was,

so she’d be beyond

the distance

of the spell

unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Cause if you miss,

you trap us.

LAURA: Yeah, and then

we can’t get out.

MARISHA: No, I mean, I can’t–

I mean, I could get

us out again, but–

LAURA: A bunch of dead people,

you could get a bunch

of dead people out?

MARISHA: I know.

Okay, wow.

TRAVIS: Indiana Jones and

the Last crusade.

MARISHA: This is really bad.

Okay, I will use…

LAURA: That wasn’t her

last spell, by the way.

She’s got three spell slots left.

MARISHA: Who’s– yeah,

who’s really close?

Who’s like one away?

Who’s like really bad?

-LAURA: Close to death?

-MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: He’s closer to

death than me.

LIAM: I’m two failures.

-SAM: Is Pike down?

-LAURA: Pike’s unconscious.

-TRAVIS: Oh, she is?

-SAM: Get Pike up.

LAURA: I’m one fail,

he’s two fails.

Scanlan’s dead.

TALIESIN: Who’s got healing spells?

Wake up whoever can heal.

LAURA: I’ve got Cure Wounds

if I’m awake.

TALIESIN: So, get her up.

LIAM: I can heal people

if I get up.

MARISHA: Okay, it doesn’t matter.

Can I kinda jump and make

my way over like,

this kind of…

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MARISHA: This– can I cross this

tinier lava right there?

Kind of like, or is that

a pretty far jump?

MATT: I mean, you have

to still jump.

So you have to make

an athletics check.

MARISHA: How far of a

jump is that?

MATT: It’s about six,

seven feet.

So make an athletics check.

MARISHA: Sure, why not?

Why not at this point?

LAURA: No, Keyleth, no.

MARISHA: Well, that was

a natural one.

TRAVIS: On what, on what?

SAM: Just moving.

MARISHA: Just trying

to jump across

what should have been

literally anything else.

TRAVIS: How many hit

points do you have?

How many hit

points do you have?

SAM: It doesn’t matter,

she’s not even

gonna get over to

anyone to heal them.

-MARISHA: 60.

-LAURA: I don’t know, man, lava.

TRAVIS: One six or six zero.

-TALIESIN: Six zero.

-SAM: She’s fine.

But no, she’s not

necessarily fine.

LAURA: Lava has a

new rule now.

MATT: Well, not a new rule,

the actual rule.

TRAVIS: The actual rule that we didn’t

use the very very first time.

But we felt it last time.

MATT: So, as you rush

over trying to help,

you go to leap,

but your foot catches

what you thought was

solid volcanic rock.

Unfortunately,

it’s brittle and broken

and it slips

beneath your foot.

In doing so, you only

get about three feet

before you plant the

lower half of your body

straight

into the lava.

LAURA: Oh my God.

TRAVIS: (laughing)

MATT: That’s 53 points

of fire damage.

-LAURA: 53!

-SAM: You’re alive!

LAURA: Get up, get out,

you can get out of it.

You’ve got

seven points left.

TALIESIN: You died as you lived.

MARISHA: A fucking dumbass, yeah!

TRAVIS: I can’t see!

It’s just a wall of tears.

LAURA: Can she get out

of the lava or is she just in?

MARISHA: Can I get out now?

I’m trying to use my movement

or am I gonna

die if I get out?

MATT: You’re essentially prone in the lava.

You rolled a one to jump

and you basically went…

-LAURA: Belly flopped into lava.

LAURA: You mean, she’s gonna take

damage trying to get out of it?

MARISHA: Can I get out?

MATT: You’re technically prone.

The rest of your movement

will get you up and out,

but it’ll just

get you out of the lava.

-LAURA: At least you’re out.

-LIAM: Get out, get out.

MATT: So, you’ll get out and you’ll

be just on the edge there.

LAURA: Oh my God.

TRAVIS: This is the best.

LAURA: This is the worst!

MATT: Wow!

MARISHA: I was like, as long

as I don’t roll a one,

that shouldn’t

be that hard– okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, look, someone left a

metaphor on the ground.

(laughter)

Don’t step in it

or anything.

Oh God,

it’s everywhere.

-TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

-MATT: Wow.

TALIESIN: Well, this

could’ve gone worse.

MATT: Wow!

TALIESIN: Yeah!

MARISHA: Okay, I’m out

of the flame.

MATT: This whole thing’s

a metaphor for 2017.

LAURA: Does J'Mon Sa Ord

have any healing spells?

MARISHA: And I reach over

as a bonus action

and do a Healing Word

to– to Vax.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just–

MATT: What level?

MARISHA: I don’t know.

TRAVIS: Come on, stay with it.

-Stay in the fight.

-MARISHA: Level one.

Oh, that’s good, that’s

four so, nine points.

SAM: Nine points.

TRAVIS: He wakes up!

MATT: Vax is now conscious.

MARISHA: No, I’m sorry ten points,

that’s ten points.

-MATT: There you go.

-LAURA: Sweet, even better.

You’re double digits.

Scanlan, we’ve got to just–

we’ve got to get Scanlan back.

TALIESIN: There’s a lot of work

that needs to happen.

TRAVIS: I got her,

I got– I got Pike.

TALIESIN: Who’s up?

SAM: Grog is up.

TALIESIN: I mean, who’s next?

TRAVIS: I think it’s me.

-LAURA: It’s Gilmore.

-TRAVIS: No, it’s Gilmore.

MATT: So, Gilmore gets up.

Kind of looks around.

“Where did she go?”

TRAVIS: “Through the tunnel.”

MATT: Okay.

He rushes this way

and as he gets

about there, he…

slams into something that

is currently invisible.

You see a slight

ripple of arcane energy

and you see a series

of small glyphs spiral outward

and then it goes

see-through again.

He starts slamming

his fists on it.

“Of course, of course.

Of course.”

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: He goes and…

Let’s see what

he has left.

TRAVIS: She made a

Lite Brite wall.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: He’s a mime.

MATT: Technically, he looks like a

mime from your standpoint.

MARISHA: Can I turn to J'Mon?

Say, “J'Mon, can you

sense her presence?

She’s a fellow dragon.

Do you know where

she might be going

or what she

might be doing?”

MATT: “I haven’t the faintest.

I only just arrived.”

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck, Thordak is

outside of the cave!

LIAM: Are we out of combat now?

TRAVIS: Thordak is still

in the hallway.

LAURA: The round’s still going.

MATT: So we’re gonna continue going

through the order here.

LAURA: So, it’s Grog,

it’s your turn, Grog.

MATT: So, Grog, it’s your turn.

TRAVIS: I run to my buddy,

Pike, and I beer bong

this Greater healing

potion into her gullet.

MATT: Okay.

-TRAVIS: What is that?

-LAURA: 4d8 plus four.

I mean, 4d4 plus four.

MATT: 4d4 plus four.

TRAVIS: Eight.

Twelve.

-Twelve points.

-LAURA: So, Pike is awake.

TRAVIS: “Hi, hi!”

-“Go, heal!”

-LAURA: “What’s going–”

TRAVIS: “Lot of problems.”

SAM: Got any more of

those Revivify’s?

MATT: Alright, that

ends your turn, Grog?

LAURA: Actually, she does have

a third level spell left.

-MATT: You do.

-MARISHA: Really?

-LAURA: Yes!

LAURA: She does have a

third level spell!

MARISHA: Well, yes, do that,

do that really quick!

LAURA: She cast Revivify at fourth

level the last time.

MARISHA: Do it, do it, do it.

TRAVIS: The eggs that

remain are toast?

LAURA: Holy shit.

MATT: Two of them are

completely destroyed

and there is one that has

been shot and is leaking.

LAURA: I have it circled.

TALIESIN: Don’t worry about it.

Let’s get out there.

TRAVIS: Alright, that

ends my turn.

MATT: Okay.

That brings us to Vex.

I need you to make

a death saving throw.

LAURA: Right.

I’m scared of all these dice.

TRAVIS: I’m using what’s left of my

movement to go towards that egg.

MATT: Towards this egg?

-TRAVIS: Yeah, the one shot egg.

-MATT: Okay.

♪

TALIESIN: I’m gonna try

something weird.

MATT: That’s two death

saving throws on Vex.

-TRAVIS: You failed it?

-LAURA: I failed it.

MATT: Vax.

LIAM: I stumble over to my sister

and cast Lay on Hands and give

her five to bring her back.

MATT: So, yeah, cause you’ve

been giving it out–

LIAM: I haven’t done anything

with Lay on Hands.

Or I might have done it once but

I always do very small amounts.

I have a total of 15 hit points

cause I’m a third level–

MATT: I’m pretty sure

you used it once before.

LIAM: But I’ve never used more

than five with that spell

cause it’s

worthless to heal.

It’s just good

for bringing up.

So I have at least

10 hit points left.

-MATT: Go for it.

-LIAM: Five hit points.

LAURA: Yeah, cause the only

time you used it before

was when you BAMFed

up to my broom

after I grabbed

the dagger.

MATT: You’re still

prone by the way.

You just basically

crawled over and touched her.

-LIAM: That’s fine.

I’m gonna use the rest

of my movement to stand.

MATT: Okay, so you stand up and you

still have half your movement

if you wanted to.

LIAM: Everyone who’s

down, who’s down?

And I don’t mean dead.

-Pike just got–

-TALIESIN: Pike’s up.

MATT: Pike is conscious,

your sister’s conscious.

-LIAM: Is Kima conscious?

-LAURA: Yes.

Kima’s conscious.

LIAM: So, we’ve got

dead Scanlan.

TALIESIN: And that’s–

that’s Pike’s problem.

LIAM: And that’s it, I’m done.

Wait, where’s that egg?

-MATT: Which one?

-LIAM: It doesn’t matter.

LAURA: It’s the last egg.

LIAM: I’m done, I’m done.

MATT: Alrighty, that

ends Vax’s turn.

LAURA: Just worried there’s gonna

be another lair action

in the same spot.

MATT: Kima rushes up and swinging

her holy sword in the air,

goes for a full swing, noticing

that everybody’s now conscious,

goes and takes a full swing

towards this invisible barrier.

As it streaks across, you see

divine energy go flying off

in a shower of sparks and

a giant shimmering,

shaking visual on this–

this force wall that stands here

in the center of the hallway.

As she finishes her attack,

it shimmers unscathed.

She goes for a

secondary attack.

Strikes again.

This time as it

strikes across

the sparks are even brighter

and you can see the impact

almost pushing her back

off of her feet and

as the blade comes

to the end of

its second arc.

She looks up.

The wall still stands.

TRAVIS: You are shitting me.

It doesn’t flicker,

doesn’t–

LAURA: It needs like a

dispel or something.

MARISHA: Oh my God, I could–

Oh my God, I could!

TALIESIN: Alright, that’s an option.

MATT: Alrighty that

brings us to…

-MATT: J'Mon.

J'Mon rushes.

Flies up to the edge and

kind of takes a moment

streak a few claws across it.

And where the claws streak,

you can see the shimmering

of this force wall.

TRAVIS: Well, phone’s out, oh God.

MATT: “The phone’s out, oh God”?

SAM: He’s calling an Uber

because he knows

we’re gonna kill him

after this is done.

MATT: Come on, four percent,

I got four percent left.

SAM: Four percent, get

this man a charger!

-MATT: I know.

-SAM: Taliesin!

LIAM: No, no, no.

Let’s start a

YouTube video on it.

SAM: Can you run

this over to Matt?

MATT: Yeah.

J'Mon, with each strike, is like

testing the boundaries of it

across the sides of the

tunnel and just goes…

“This magic holds.”

TRAVIS: What?

It holds?

“It–it holds?”

MATT: Fun charger.

TALIESIN: Let me know, I’ve

got maybe a plan.

Yeah, you’ve got that.

That’s an option,

I’ve got another plan.

You know my plan, my

plan kind of sucks, but.

MATT: I’m not getting a charge.

SAM: Give it somebody else.

There’s a button.

MATT: That’s alright.

It happens.

Anyway.

TALIESIN: No, no, it

should just start.

-SAM: No, there’s a button.

-TALIESIN: Oh, there is a button.

SAM: There’s a button,

he’ll find it.

MATT: J'Mon, oh, J'Mon gets

the breath weapon back.

And kind of pushes…

both Kima

and Gilmore aside.

“Excuse me.”

And unleashes a blast of burning

hot breath across this wall.

As it hits, it

just curls across

and spreads across

the side of the walls

as the dragon shields

both Kima and Gilmore

from the blast.

As it finishes, the flame

has been split the entirety

and has no effect

on the wall.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

LAURA: I wonder–

I wonder if the

beehive thing above us,

that the holes are

covered in magic as well.

TRAVIS: Are you conscious?

LAURA: Am I– I am conscious.

TALIESIN: I say, well, maybe killing

the eggs, I don’t know.

Kill the eggs.

MATT: Pike.

TRAVIS: Or maybe it’s like a

Pacific Rim–

LAURA: But I don’t know

what that says.

SAM: I–I can give it to you.

LAURA: But it’s now.

My question is,

Pike runs up, thank you.

Oh, oh!

If she runs up, is

she gonna be able

to get her hand

on– on Scanlan?

MATT: Well, she was–

She was prone, right?

She just came back

to consciousness.

So she gets up

for half her movement.

TALIESIN: We got a minute.

Got a minute.

TRAVIS: I would have picked

her up after the last time.

I was being pissed about– I

mean, you know, she’s so tiny.

MATT: Being a gnome, it’s

one of those things

where 25 feet halved

and you always round on

the lower end of the scale.

At ten feet, she’s not close

enough to touch Scanlan.

Yet.

MARISHA: Even with the

Sprinter’s Boots?

MATT: Sprinter’s Boots

already got used.

It’s got one round use.

LAURA: She says “She can use the

Sprinter’s Boots twice”

in all caps.

MATT: Alright then.

TALIESIN: The caps are what

make it worthwhile.

MATT: I’ll trust her.

TRAVIS: She’s on a 30 second delay

so she wrote that

before we said it.

LAURA: Actually she did write

that before we said it.

-MATT: Good, alright then.

Then that will be just enough

to put her up next to Scanlan.

LAURA: Okay.

So, Pike puts her hands on

either side of his face

and says, “Scanlan.

Your letter to me

was wonderful

and I want to do

what you asked

but I can’t raise Kaylee alone,

I need you to come back.”

And she casts

Revivify on him.

MATT: Okay.

Go ahead and

roll a d20.

LAURA: I’m so scared.

Thirteen?

MATT: Thirteen, okay.

As she implores to

the spirit of Scanlan

in this frozen form,

you watch as

the icy crystals

that have coalesced

around his form

and locked him in his place,

his face kind of–

This frozen

look of horror.

The ice begins to turn

into mist around him

and his color begins

to return to his skin.

His expression relaxes

as his eyes suddenly focus

and Scanlan, you find

yourself conscious again

looking up at Pike.

Tears in her eyes, pulling her

hand back from your shoulder.

Looking up into

the dark, you know,

glowing lit interior

of Thordak’s lair.

SAM: Don’t cry.

I’m just a little cold.

LAURA: “Warm up.

Does anybody

have a blanket?”

-SAM: “Just hold me.”

-LAURA: “Okay.”

-TRAVIS: She sent a picture.

-LAURA: She did.

She sent a picture

of the Sprinter’s Boots cards

with two uses.

TRAVIS: “Used twice

while in rest…”

MATT: There we go.

Cool, that’s what

I wanted, thank you.

So make sure everyone has

their equipment cards on them.

Alright, so that

finishes Pike’s turn.

Scanlan, you’re

conscious now.

SAM: Hi.

TRAVIS: Welcome back, we’re

still fucked by the way.

SAM: What’s going on?

TRAVIS: They sealed us in here

with a giant magic

screen across this door.

Dragon’s breath does

nothing, Kima does nothing.

You know anything

about this?

Any limericks for

magic cave doors?

SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

LAURA: Glad you’re

back, Scanlan.

SAM: Thanks, thanks.

I’ve got one

thing up my sleeve.

It’s a dog that can

run around and help us.

That’s about it.

LAURA: Are we gonna have

to take a short rest?

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: I don’t know,

I don’t know.

What– there’s

magic there?

I can’t do

anything about that.

LAURA: Can I– can I–

I know I’m gonna–

Can I broom up

to the holes?

God, I’m so scared to

get on this broom again.

TALIESIN: Well, it’s not–

we’re still–

LAURA: Oh, in our order?

MARISHA: We’re still

going in order?

MARISHA: Do you still have a Mansion?

MATT: Well, right now, as we’re

getting back into this.

Percy, what are you doing?

MARISHA: I have a crazy plan.

LAURA: Did you let the dog out?

SAM: No, I don’t know what–

TRAVIS: Who let the dog out?

LAURA: Scanlan, did you

let the dog out?

SAM: Keyleth, do you

have a crazy plan?

MARISHA: You only have

to cast the Mansion Door

within line of

sight, correct?

SAM: Yes.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: I don’t know that

that’s true actually.

Three hundred feet,

300 feet range.

LAURA: Do you have it left?

-SAM: I do.

-TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay, two things.

One, before we start burning

our seventh level spells,

I still have

Stone Shape.

Can Keyleth go up to the

wall and do I have enough–

is there just enough

room in the corridor walls

that I could

Stone Shape–

SAM: I could Dimension Door

out of here.

LAURA: Why would you just–

LIAM: You get a tunnel

for all of us, mate.

SAM: Yeah, that would just be me.

MARISHA: Can I Stone Shape a tunnel

kind of around the thing?

Or is–

MATT: First things first,

Mordenkainen’s

Magnificent Mansion

is a one minute

casting time.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: So you could do it, but

in the process of doing so,

you’d probably go through

about 10 different lair actions

in here.

TALIESIN: Yeah, there’s that.

MATT: So, Keyleth, you’re using,

you said, stone–

MARISHA: Can I Stone Shape a

little passage around?

Do I have just enough

kinda to where I can–

where the barrier is

I can kind of carve

a little corridor around?

LIAM: Around or under?

MATT: It would be very tiny

and you’d have to crawl

through to create enough–

Cause you’re not quite sure

how thick the barrier is,

so you have to be–

have to roll an

investigation check

and based on your

roll, I’ll let you know.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: This is a plan.

MARISHA: Eight.

MATT: Eight?

You’re not sure,

you can give it a shot.

MARISHA: I’m– might as well

give it a shot, I mean–

MATT: Before it gets to you, it does

come back to a lair action.

LAURA: Wait, but–

SAM: On my turn,

I drank a potion.

MATT: Okay, so take

your healing.

SAM: That’s it.

TALIESIN: Has my

turn not come up yet?

LAURA: I hate that we can’t get

out of this fucking area!

MATT: Sorry, I asked

you what you were doing.

TALIESIN: Oh, I want to

try something stupid.

MATT: What do you want to try?

TALIESIN: I want to try and run

headlong at the barrier.

MATT: Okay.

Well, you have to–

LAURA: Don’t get too close

into this area, Percy,

cause this is where the fucking

lair action keeps coming up.

TALIESIN: I want to stay

on the wall.

MATT: Stay on the wall, okay.

Leaving you roughly there.

So even a full turn,

that’s as far as you could

get on a double run.

TALIESIN: Yeah, and I’m up

on the wall still.

MATT: Cool.

Alright, now–

now this happens.

With this, the

quakiness of the lair

seems to be subsiding

a little bit.

There is a tremor

on the ground.

It only effects those

directly around the barrier,

so that’s my people.

Everyone succeeds,

so no one falls prone.

So no effect on that

lair action, per se.

Alright, past that.

You can see in

the distance,

past the wall,

dark in the tunnel,

which is almost pitch

black beyond the radius,

you see this slight

purplish glow

and then a flash

of purple energy.

TALIESIN: God, fucking damn it!

MARISHA: Talking to Thordak!

SAM: Should I go?

LAURA: What are you gonna do?

SAM: Distract it, do something.

TRAVIS: You’re gonna be

all by yourself.

MARISHA: Okay, I’m gonna

Stone Shape

and try and just

cast a little,

even if it’s a corridor

just right around.

MATT: It’s a touch spell so

you have to get up to it,

so you’re back there.

So you just get up to

the edge of the doorway

and the wall

with a double run.

-MARISHA: Okay.

-MATT: Okay?

MARISHA: I’m go ahead and

can I use a bonus action.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: I’m gonna use

my– no, no, no,

I’m gonna just drink a

healing potion real quick.

Just one of my Greaters.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

So it is 4d4 plus four.

Alright.

Gilmore.

TALIESIN: This poor book

has seen better days.

MATT: Gilmore doesn’t

really have anything

that can be of

aid right now.

MATT: Gilmore moves

over towards you.

Preparing for

what you’re up to,

and just kind of puts his hand

on your shoulder, Keyleth,

and goes, “Whatever you’re

doing, I’m right behind you.

Don’t worry.”

TALIESIN: Hold you up so

you don’t fall.

MATT: Grog, you’re up.

MARISHA: I’m not feeling very

confident right now.

TRAVIS: You look like you’re up to

something, do you have a plan?

MARISHA: I’m trying to Stone Shape

a corridor through this,

but I don’t know if

it’s going to be enough

to get through

the thickness.

-TRAVIS: Right, as a backup plan…

TRAVIS: How big is

J'Mon Sa Ord?

Like a big dragon

or just like eh?

MATT: About the same

size as Raishan.

TRAVIS: So, we couldn’t like

all Falcor on J'Mon

up to the spider network of

tunnels in the ceiling, right?

Like we couldn’t ride him.

MATT: Raishan and J'Mon have a

very similar physicality.

Like their bodies can, much

like a cat can get really thin,

just enough to fit

through the tunnels, maybe,

but not with any riders.

You guys would probably

be squeezed off

or crushed in

the process.

TRAVIS: Could she get us up there

and then follow us up

through the tunnels if we–

TALIESIN: We don’t know

where they go.

TRAVIS: It’s better

than this place.

They’re exhaust tunnels.

TALIESIN: That’s fair, although I

will say, before we leave,

we should probably make

sure all those eggs are down

-before we leave anyway.

-TRAVIS: That’s my idea.

And then, I’m

gonna end my turn.

LAURA: Are you gonna run

and hit an egg?

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah!

LAURA: There’s an egg

left over there.

-TALIESIN: Hit an egg.

-TRAVIS: Shamone!

Yeah, I’ll just

run towards egg.

Ooh!

I’m gonna use all three

of my attacks on that egg.

MATT: Go for it.

Go for it.

MARISHA: Egg doesn’t know

what’s coming.

TRAVIS: That’s a– that’s a 33.

-MATT: That’ll hit.

-TRAVIS: Oh, minus five.

Okay.

That’s a 31, no, 39.

MATT: Okay, so the first strike

just cleaves through

the egg entirely.

-TRAVIS: Oh.

-MATT: I know.

You impact at the point of the

bullet that Percy left earlier,

which kind of left that

spider web crack in the front

and that just causes

the entire thing to buckle

under the sheer force

of your axe as it swings.

The egg gets cut

in half, tumbles over,

splattering primordial

dragon whelp gore

and you can see

the remnants inside

of what is now a two-parter

primordial dragon whelp.

LAURA: Did it look

like Thordak?

TRAVIS: Did any dragon parts

spill out of the egg?

MATT: Yeah, as it flew

off and kind–

TRAVIS: Could I grab a piece

of it, take a step back

and try and like throw

it towards the wall

to see if it bounces

off as well?

Just in case it’s like a,

you know, lair barcode?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: Hey, we got through!

MARISHA: They got the key card.

TALIESIN: Multi-pass.

MATT: As you pull it up,

and this creature is,

nearly identical to the one

that you pulled out earlier.

It’s still deep red crimson,

but like fully, fully

primordial in its visual.

You take back a chunk of it

and you throw it at the wall

and it just

passes through.

(gasps)

SAM: What just happened?

-MARISHA: Shut up!

-LAURA: You were right!

SAM: What did he just do?

TALIESIN: You solved it!

SAM: How, what did he do?

LIAM: Destroying the last egg.

SAM: Fucking guy!

LAURA: Or by–

MARISHA: Or by– it’s

like he said.

We cover ourselves

in dragon goo

and then we

can walk through.

TALIESIN: One of the two.

TRAVIS: Residual goo in my hand, I just

like rub it all on my face.

MATT: It smells terrible.

TALIESIN: You can hop in the egg.

It’s basically

a hot tub.

MARISHA: We didn’t destroy

all the eggs, right?

MATT: Currently, you destroyed

three of them

and two were

lightning baked

and taken off

by Raishan.

SAM: My voice

is my passport.

MARISHA: So, do it.

It’s hard to say.

TALIESIN: I love that movie.

LAURA: Maybe we should

hold onto a piece

and try to

pass through it.

TALIESIN: Hello.

MATT: Well, that

finishes Grog’s turn.

Vex?

LAURA: That’s me.

I used a level– did I use

a level four spell already?

Shit.

MATT: I’m pretty sure you guys

went down guns blazing.

TALIESIN: Somewhere in the world, there’s

a whole chatroom of people

yelling at you

telling you–

LAURA: Oh, that’s

right, I did.

I did use it

cause I was–

MARISHA: Yeah, I was gonna

say, “somewhere”?

LAURA: So I have a

level three left.

Who needs healing?

Me and Pike

and everybody.

TALIESIN: There’s always–

everybody needs healing.

-MARISHA: Me.

-LAURA: You do.

SAM: I got single

dig going on.

LAURA: So do I, I got five.

TRAVIS: Single dig.

LAURA: I got five points,

how many you got?

SAM: I got eight or nine,

I can’t remember my math.

It’s pretty bad.

Wait, if I had one,

plus eight would be nine.

LAURA: So you have

nine points.

I’m gonna take

a healing potion.

I mean, I’m gonna cast

Cure Wounds on myself.

-MATT: Okay.

-SAM: Oh, yeah, you do your thing.

MATT: 3d8 plus whatever your

modifier is, go for it.

TALIESIN: It’s all good.

MARISHA: Kind of.

TALIESIN: No, it’s not, I know,

but like, it’s looking better.

MARISHA: Well, we’re not all dead.

We just can’t die anymore.

TALIESIN: And worst case scenario, we’re

stuck in here for another round.

LAURA: So, 20 points.

-MATT: Twenty points, okay.

-LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: And you didn’t

even burn a spell yet.

LAURA: Can I run over

and get some

dragon guts on my hand

and then to try to put

my hand through the thingy?

MATT: With your speed and getting up,

cause you were prone.

LAURA: Please let me

out of this spot.

MATT: That close right there.

You can’t quite get

to the dragon guts.

That’s as far

as you can get.

TALIESIN: It may just

be that it’s down now,

but it may be

the dragon guts.

MATT: Alright, so that

ends Vex’s turn, Vax.

Whatcha doing?

LIAM: I’m just gonna move

towards the gate.

Put my hand out and

see if I can go through

or if I get stopped.

MATT: You walk right through.

TALIESIN: Alright!

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: It’s the eggs,

it was the eggs.

LIAM: Alright, everybody!

Quietly.

MARISHA: Hang on, hang on.

I’m feeling very guilty

because it was my rage

and anger and

want for vengeance

which made me run in here

blindly towards her,

maybe we shouldn’t do it

again is all I’m saying.

TALIESIN: No, too late.

Got to finish this off.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: Does your guilt have

a Mass Cure Wounds?

In that case,

doesn’t matter.

MATT: “Forward, now!”

And all of you

just start…

MARISHA: Avengers Run

down the hall.

MATT: Like crawling

over all of you.

TALIESIN: Avengers, it’s

clobbering time.

SAM: I–I grab Kima and I say,

“Get ready to hit a dragon,”

and I’m gonna Dimension Door

me and Kima to Thordak’s body.

-MATT: Okay.

-LAURA: Oh, geez.

MATT: Kima goes, “Wait, what?”

As soon as you

grab the shoulder

and you both

suddenly vanish

and reappear at

Thordak’s body.

You both land with

a flash of arcane light.

As your feet

hit the ground,

it is an empty tunnel.

So, no Raishan.

-There is no Thordak corpse.

-LAURA: Fuck.

-SAM: There’s no Thordak’s corpse?

-MARISHA: There’s no Thordak’s corpse?

-MATT: Correct.

-LAURA: Fuck!

Fuck.

LIAM: She just wanted

to talk to it.

TALIESIN: She may have

taken him somewhere.

TRAVIS: Talk to it, my ass.

She didn’t want

to talk to it.

MARISHA: Or she raised him.

Jesus.

LIAM: One last roll

in the hay.

MATT: As you guys approach, Gilmore

steps up and goes,

“I think I have

a pretty good idea

what that flash

we saw was.”

-MARISHA: What?

-TALIESIN: Teleport.

MATT: “Getting the

hell out of here.

Son of a bitch!”

He takes a rock

and throws it.

Hair’s kind

of tussled.

MARISHA: Vex, can you sense

dragons anywhere nearby?

LAURA: Can I sense anyone but J'Mon Sa

Ord as far as dragons go nearby?

I drop down to my

knees and concentrate.

-MATT: No.

-LAURA: Nothing!

Nothing.

She’s nowhere.

Fuck.

MATT: And that’s where we’ll

end tonight’s episode.

(all groaning)

We have a flight

early in the morning.

TRAVIS: Oh!

LAURA: I can’t believe

that we all came back.

TALIESIN: I can’t believe

we all lived.

MATT: I can’t believe

you all lived.

TALIESIN: That should

not have happened.

MARISHA: That was

really scary.

LAURA: It was just

giant clusterfuck

from like halfway through

with just everybody

falling down

and trying

to get back up.

MATT: Well, if–

If you had fallen

into the lava,

by the way, if you

had rolled poorly,

you would have been submerged

in lava, which was…

LAURA: Unconscious.

MATT: Well, that– that’s

18d10 points of damage.

If that had exceeded

your max hit points,

you would have been instantly

dead and turned to ash.

LIAM: Been nice if I’d

cut out her tongue.

LAURA: So, gone, gone-gone.

-MATT: Yeah.

There were a

few close calls there.

TRAVIS: She was like three.

I think there

were like nine.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: And then if you hadn’t

counter spelled the color…

MATT: Oh, yeah, the

Prismatic Spray.

That would have

been real bad.

SAM: Who was she

shooting against?

-TALIESIN: Everybody.

-MARISHA: It’s a spray.

MATT: It’s a cone that big.

TALIESIN: So it would have

been almost everybody.

MATT: Just so you guys know,

cause it’s a fun spell

to kind of talk about.

TALIESIN: It is.

MATT: And each of you

would have been hit

with a different

colored ray.

I would have rolled a d8

to see what color had hit you.

On a one, you take

10d6 fire damage.

On a failed save, half.

An orange, take 10d6 acid

damage, save for half.

Yellow: 10d6 lightning damage.

So, just randomly

all of you guys

basically just take

10d6 of something.

Green: you take 10d6

poison damage, half save.

Five, 10d6 cold damage.

Six, on a failed save,

you’re restrained

and you have to keep making

saves or you turn to stone.

Seven, you’re blinded

and you have

to keep saving.

A successful save ends it,

if you fail the next save,

you will be transported

to another plane.

LAURA: What?!

SAM: There’s one where you

get to do two things.

MATT: On an eight, on an eight,

I roll again for two rays

against that person.

-LAURA: Oh my God!

-TRAVIS: For two rays?

SAM: What if you

keep rolling eights?

MATT: Keep rolling eights,

you’re gonna be fucked.

It’s a fun one.

I like that spell.

LAURA: Wait, what is a 10?

Is 10 insta-death,

what is 10?

MATT: It’s one d8, so ten would be

instant death, it would be.

If I roll a

10 on a d8, sure.

You are so done.

TALIESIN: The other

plane of dimension

is like literally

the Beetlejuice,

like send you

to the sandworms.

You’re just–

MATT: Oops.

TALIESIN: And that’s– you’re

out of the fight

until they can go find

you if anyone’s left.

After everyone else

has taken 10d– suck.

MATT: So, guys, we’ll pick this up

again next week on Thursday.

Find out

where Raishan is.

TRAVIS: Maybe.

MATT: With two eggs and the corpse

of Thordak, The Cinder King.

LAURA: Well, hopefully,

oh my God.

TALIESIN: Red eggs and ham?

TRAVIS: Yeah, she just escaped

with two Iphone 7’s.

MATT: You start with

a disadvantage.

TALIESIN: I just want the internet to

do a Dr. Seuss red eggs and–

I just want her

with like a little

red steak and two little red–

That’s all I want.

MATT: Alright, guys.

You guys, we’ll see you

at MAGFest this weekend.

We’ll see you

there shortly.

SAM: Remember, bring

your magazines

and have Matt and

Marisha sign any magazine.

TALIESIN: Highlights.

MARISHA: Yeah, all magazines.

We will sign them.

LIAM: I mean, you’re gonna say,

you don’t know,

but if J'Mon had not nurked

those three attacks that round,

might she have gone down?

MATT: She came pretty close.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, if J'Mon had not

gotten three, two, one.

MATT: Three, two and a one.

MARISHA: That sucked.

MATT: That really sucked.

MARISHA: I was about to lay some serious

damage when she ran away.

I was gonna bust out a seventh

level blight and then she ran.

MATT: I wasn’t getting– cause that

the fire breath is nasty.

MARISHA: Yeah, and he didn’t

fucking recharge it.

TRAVIS: If your highness wasn’t smart

enough to break another egg…

LAURA: I got to attack

one time that round.

Every other round was

just trying not to die.

LIAM: He should have stretched

before the fight.

-MATT: But anyway.

-MARISHA: Happy New Year.

MATT: Happy New Year!

Well done, guys,

you survived.

-MARISHA: Yeah.

-TALIESIN: Yay.

MATT: Mostly.

Thank you so much for our

sponsor tonight, nobody.

2017.

You guys

are our sponsors.

Well, every

week you are.

So thank you for all

your wonderful support.

Happy New Year, welcome

to the chaos of 2017.

We’re there

alongside you for it.

We’ll see you

guys soon and…

Is it Thursday yet?

Have a good night.

♪